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Talk / Who Would Win Archive Late 2010

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Candy Entrails: Berserker vs. Subject Delta. Delta has all of his weapons and plasmids (except Summon Eleanor), fully upgraded. Berserker has his Nine Lives and his Axe-Club. The fight takes place in a city the two combatants are both unfamiliar with.

Smiggins: It's a good thing from the perspective of the fight that Berserker doesn't need to be killed twelve times, otherwise this would be a no contest. I'm only familiar with Berserker. This is only valid if they are starting within sight range of each other, such as in a square in the middle of the city

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The Axe-Club just deals a hell of a lot of damage in close quarters with enough force that most kinds of armour are pretty moot, but Nine Lives is interesting. It's only used once in the visual novel (I think? Correct me if I'm wrong!), but when it is used it quickly delivers several accurate and very powerful hits, easily enough to kill just about everything ( it is used to kill Dark Berserker in the use I can remember, which probably necessitated bypassing its many lives). I am uncertain of its range however.

Berserker is very fast, strong, and even without needing to be killed twelve times, still very tough. Unless SD can increase his speed significantly he won't be able to stay out of melee range for more than a few seconds. Ongoing status effects such as freezing could probably not be relied upon to immobilize Berserker either. It would take a few powerful attacks in quick succession to prevent him from getting into melee and make the handful (or just 1) attack he needs to defeat his opponent. If Nine Lives is a ranged weapon (I may be remembering incorrectly, but I think it's a bow), then the battle ends even faster.

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If they start on opposite sides of the city, however, things are different - especially if SD has access to a sniping weapon. Use of tall buildings is advised, and ambush tactics could wear Berserker down enough for a rapid flurry of plasmids to finish him off. This is moot if Nine Lives has good range, though - repeated sniper shots would not do a lot by themselves, and Berserker may be entirely immune to small-arms fire by virtue of being a Servant - only specially enchanted weapons and attacks by magical beings can do much to them.

Unless the fully upgraded Plasmids really are that powerful (they'd really need to be comparable to an A-Rank spell in Nasuverse), Berserker probably has an advantage. This advantage is increased if Nine Lives is a bow like I remember (it may not be), and if they start near each other.

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  • Candy Entails: Yep, it's a bow. Going by your write-up, this means Berserker's more likely to take this one.

Deuxhero: Nyarlathotep Vs. Genocide. Battle between human atrocities personifications!

Schizo Technician: Nyar-chan, by virtue of coming from a Shin Megami Tensei spin-off.


Battle of the Batman-related Mr. Fanservice Chick Magnets! Who could unwittingly cause more women to fall in love with him in a given time: (pre-jerkification) Chinese Electric Batman or Nightwing?
Dark General Cobalt vs Great Duke Belial. They can both use all the devices they see fit, except sky volcanoes

Magnificent Kamen vs Archangel Michael

Yami-Gaia vs Hell/Heaven. Let's say different armies portal into Yami-Gaia.Can the Yamiko fight back against

  • Abigor's Army?
  • Beelzebub's Army?
  • The Incomparable Legion of Light?
Or the Demons/Angels steamroll them?
Xolroc: Gandalf Greyhame (before becoming Gandalf the White) vs. Raistlin Majere (before becoming Fistandantilus) Who comes out alive?

KyoShiranui: I know a simulated fight between Raistlin and Elminster ended with BOTH sides winning in a total Mind Screw ending. We'd probably get similar results here.


Dream Sage: Dante is hired to hunt down Laharl. If they go at it one-on-one, who will win? Please note that since chances are they'll ham it up before the battle (see: Dante vs. Agnus; Laharl's tendency to laugh maniacally the moment he shows up anywhere), ambushing is out of the question for either of them.
Sarge and the RED Soldier each have a squad of raw recruits and 2 weeks to get them ready to fight those dirty Blues. Who wins/fails the least?

Big B: Hmm, this ones tough. I would go with the RED Soldier. 1)He is a psycopath and thus more effective at chaos and killing 2)He has an awesome chin (not relevant I know, but I must throw it in somewhere since its about the Soldier) 3)He is actually a very good soldier and very devoted. Sarge might just give up on them if they get too idiotic.


Anonymous: Asterix with magical potion vs Popeye with Spinach

Kana Minami vs Tomo Takino vs Millefeuille Sakuraba vs Usagi Tsukino in a Battle of Ditz

Mio Akiyama vs Negishi Souichi (NOT in his Krauser form). Who can write the most teeth rotting song?.


Enlong: Hao Asakura vs Sosuke Aizen. Which ridiculously powerful, god-aspiring Big Bad comes out on top?

The Great Pie: Aizen.

Enlong: Care to elaborate? Like, how would the fight play out? Remember, that while Aizen has extreme illusion abilities, Hao not only has Mana to rival or surpass Aizen's extreme Spiritual Pressure, he has an Over Soul with fire comprable to Yammamoto's, with the added perk of his fire being sapient.

RWB: Aizen is chanceless. Hao is several times faster, several times stronger, and can negate any soulbased attack Aizen has. Not to mention he can cast a miniature black hole or comet at Aizen.Yoh could oneshot Aizen, easily, and he didn't get anywhere close to Hao in the end of his series.


For some reason, all versions of Dr Ivo 'Eggman' Robotnik find themselves on an empty Mobius, filled with resources. All acquire an equal share and decide that there can be only one Robotnik. Who wins? (Robotnik, duh.)

Pykrete: Adventures and Sonic X versions are basically ineffectual doofuses and get swept before they know what hit them. 2006 Uncanny Valley Eggman brews up a convoluted plot to manipulate and backstab all the others, but loses track, ends up confusing himself with it, and goes down in flames. 2D-era Robotnik goes out fighting, but his weapons of mass destruction are more along the lines of hammers, drills, and other slow-moving melee weapons, and his minions are small, nearly unarmed nuisances (one of them throws coconuts for gods sake).

Underground Robotnik, it should be noted, is a close relative of Sat AM, and in spite of his Face Palm worthy context is actually rather dangerous. At least until 3D-era Eggman sends him lots of crappy non-sequitur music videos, and for some reason he doesn't actually do anything when any of them are playing. He ends up getting blown up by his own cargo ships and leaving plot threads hanging that a few people might have cared about, but is mostly forgotten soon after demise.

The field swiftly narrows down to Archie Sat AM Robotnik (I consider them basically the same one) and 3D-era Eggman, as they're the only ones who build on a decent scale, and both have the good sense to arm their minions with actual weapons. Comics/AM Robotnik aggressively expands his territory Starcraft-style, and sets up powerful static defenses and sprawling factory cities. Eggman is more mobile, and prefers to stage a decentralized game using fleets of enormous flagships that manufacture each other on the fly. Both are Genre Savvy enough to at least put forethought into plans, and both will verse themselves in local Chaos lore to exploit whatever they need to. Ultimately though, I'd have to give it to Sat AM Robotnik for his tendency to avoid waking up things that he can't handle.


Michael Maltani: Who would you rather be a patient of, Dr. House or Dr. Mario?

Rothul: If I had the fever or the chills, Mario's brightly colored pills are 100% effective. Anything other than that though, and I'd want House in the house.


Enlong: Mask* DeMasque Vs. the Yatagarasu. First in a fight, then in a theft competition. Let's assume that both sides have all their abilities and connections for the stealing competition, but in the straight fight, they can only use one person.

That Other You: Even if I've never played Investigations, I'll vouch for the Yatagarasu. After all, Mask*De Masque was being manipulated from the start.


Oracizan: Calvin with a Green Lantern Ring vs minus.

Deus X: Minus wins by virtue of cooties.

Schizo Technician: But the Ring is limited only by imagination. A cooty-shield is well within Calvin's imagination.

Deus X: Sure, and trap himself up in the shield while shouting "No Girls Allowed". Just like in the treehouse.

Enlong: But what if Calvin were to give himself actual Stupendous Man abilities via the Ring, or create an actual box-based Transmogrifier, Duplicator, or Time Machine?


Megabyter 5: Captain Kirk, James Bond, and Commander Shepard (male or female) are one the asari homeworld. In any given amount of time, who seduces the most space babes?

Deuxhero: Negi beats them all (somehow).


Deuxhero: Julius Belmont is in Silent Hill. What happens?
Eruedraith: Which Nintendo character would survive a zombie apocalypse the longest?

Pykrete: Samus. Even if you catch her right after a Bag of Spilling, she still has an arm cannon with infinite ammunition and armor that zombies won't be able to penetrate without high-yield weaponry that they may not be capable of using. If she's actually at full power, she could single-handedly stop a zombie apocalypse.

Schizo Technician: Depends. If its a supernatural bunch, then Link wins out due to his weaponry having the holy-based Elemental Rock–Paper–Scissors advantage over the supernatural undead. If its viral types, its Samus all the way due to the completely sealed suit providing protection from infection and being basically a one-woman unlimited artillery platform, even with just the Charge Beam.

Rothul: Let's go down the list.

Mario and Luigi: Though the brothers have experience dealing with Dry Bones, and are skilled at Kill It with Fire, as a ruler, Peach is way too compassionate for a zombie uprising. Eventually, an infected Toad will be let into the castle where they’ve made their refuge, and the population of the Mushroom Kingdom is history. The plumbers are forced to book it through treacherous terrain back to New York. Chance of Survival: 20%

Link: Way too prone to running headstrong into groups of monsters in such zombie friendly locations as open fields, caves, and dungeons. His sword, arrows and boomerang will have little effect against the unfeeling masses of the undead. Plus, as soon as he strikes an infected chicken, they will descend upon him like the wrath of God. Chance of Survival: 10%

Kirby: One of the first to go down after mindlessly inhaling an infected Waddle-Dee and gaining its power of walking death. If only he could have spit it out. Chance of Survival: 0%

Fox, Falco, Slippy and Peppy: If they stay in their Arwings for the duration, they’ll be fine. Unfortunately, since this is a latter-day game, they’ll be forced to the ground for lame dinosaur-based platforming levels at least once. The laser pistols make it even money for most of the crew, but Slippy has a date with an infected Yoshi. Chance of Survival: 50%

Ice Climbers: Their cold locale is to their advantage, as most of the undead might be frozen in their tracks before getting their icy skulls cracked in with a mallet. The only problem is if either Nana or Popo get infected, the other will be unable to leave them behind, dooming booth. Chance of Survival: 70%

Ness etc.: While the baseball bat is a good choice of weapon, his party will inevitably get cornered in the Threed Graveyard. They barely have time to say Fuzzy Pickles before they are overrun by feral infected Nintendogs. Chance of Survival: 0%

Trainer, Pikachu etc.: A few of the Pokemon and masters will flee as they are able, but you know that most will try to engage them in battle. Once the zombies get a single attack in, though, it’s all over. Chance of Survival: 30%

Wario: Greedy, self-interested and a loner. These are all fine qualities to have in an uprising. Plus, Wario Land shows him to have one of the few able to be cured from a zombie transformation (by standing under a streetlamp, no less). Spends the entire crisis locked up in his castle munching on food and playing microgames. He’s more likely to die from running out of food than a zombie bite. Chance of Survival: 90%

Samus: Power Armor, Laser Cannons and hundreds of bombs give her a good chance at survival. Unfortunately, she plays the hero too much and we all know her encounter with Zombie-Ridley will be That One Boss of the scenario. Chance of Survival: 70%

Elite Beat Agents: Whenever they are called in, immediately all zombies in the vicinity go into “Thriller” mode. Ultimately, however, they will use this power to rescue civilians rather than save themselves. A couple missed taps and its Fission Mailed. Chance of Survival: 40%

Donkey Kong: Spends the entire time eating bananas and chucking barrels at people from atop a skyscraper. It's super effective, all things considered, but he runs the risk of zombie plumbers stepping over all his buildings supports and sending him crashing to the ground. Chance of Survival: 60%

Captain Olimar: Can’t you just see the guy hilariously running over the hills pursued by a ton of infected Pikmin? I know I can. Chance of Survival: 5%

Little Mac and Doc: Probably doomed if thrown into direct conflict, but all that jogging and bike training is going to come to good use. Chance of Survival: 30%

Metaknight: My personal choice for victor. He has a fully-stocked, sealed flying fortress of doom, and an army of followers that will follow any command he gives. Will saturation bomb Dreamland until only dust remains, and then will send in a fleet of Advance Wars tanks to cut the dust in half. Chance of Survival: 100%

Deuxhero: Arceus. The other legendary Pokes are strong contenders. Fire Emblem is the worst off, given their fragile weapons.

Dragon_Ranger: I'd like to make a couple counter-points to Rothul's list, specifically to Link and Ness: Link has dealt with zombies before, and as long as these can't freeze him by looking at him, he'll be fine. The Master Sword is a magical blade, he can imbue his arrows with magic, and the Sun Song can freeze zombies in their tracks. As for Ness and co., their combined PSI and weapons would make them a force to be reckoned with, and they may presumably be able to cure themselves of zombification with their PSI or through Paula's Prayer.

Rothul I have no doubt Link could last for a long time. However, I'm assuming the World War Z zombie type where a single bite doesn't kill you, but it does gets you infected. Too much works against Link to remain unbitten by a Zombie Like-Like, let alone whatever those friggin' Redeads do to you (or [[Nightmare Fuel maybe I'm just projecting on that last one.)

Likewise, Ness and the gang should have no problem with zombies... until they get cornered in the Threed graveyard. Then Cutscene Incompetence will kicks in, and the zombies they had absolutely no trouble with beforehand will overwhelm them. (No... I'm not bitter about that Earthbound plot point at all.)

Roarke I disagree about Fire Emblem characters being the worst off. In 8, the characters had to fight all kinds of monsters, zombies generally being the slowest. Any high-level character of a speedy class, like Assassin or Swordmaster, would never take a hit, and it's getting away unscathed that's important. Also, the Fire Emblem lords always have some kind of supply train to stock up on curatives, tomes, and weapons. Weaker characters can be picked up my mounted or stronger units. The Fire Emblem characters are skilled at getting around tough environments and even get healed by certain areas or becoming more evasive in others.

Enlong: I'm not sure about Meta Knight. If even one of his crew gets infected, his sealed ship becomes a zombie breeding ground. As for Link, it depends on the Link. Ocarina of Time Link has a song that paralyzes all undead. However, Majora's Mask Link has several masks that makes undead ignore him completely. If all else fails, he could wear the Stone Mask and just disappear. I'd say that his chance of survival is pretty high

Eruedraith: Responding to my own topic:

Saki: He's used to fighting off droves of enemies, can FLY (a talent that zombies are unable to match, thus giving him a major advantage in survival) and can shoot off thousands of enemies easily with the gunsword. No ammunition, either, and one head shot = one dead(er) zombie to boot. He has a high chance to survive, in my opinion. Co S: 80%

Mario/Luigi: Naaaahhhh. T Hey're both pretty much screwed. As soon as they miss jumping a single zombie, they're in big trouble. Co S: 20%

Samus: Sealed suit, ability to go into orbit at will and wait it out? She could potentially go on longer than anyone else, but she's Samus freakin' Aran. She wants to help out. This brings her Co S down from 100% to 75% - 10% down for zombies, and 15% for the aforementioned Zombie Rdiley. Unless, of course, she is at full capacity, bringing her Co S to 90%. To even off, I'm putting it at 82% Co S.

Ike: Well, he isn't exactly fast, but neither are zombies. He could outrun them almost infinitely, camping with Ragnell until finding some help, probably from Samus or the like. Still, he needs to avoid getting surrounded, and avoiding attacking them, which doesn't seem like the Ike I know. Plus, he uses close-quarters combat, bringing his chance of survival down. Co S: 40%

TP Link: He knows how to fight undead, but there's a limit to how many bomb arrows he can use. And if the zombies are the eat-only-humans type, however, his Wolf Form is an excellent advantage.If they're the eat-everything type, than he has a lot of running to do. Co S: 50%

Meta Knight: Can fly. Major advantage. However, his ship is probably infected, which will force him to go solo, and he uses CQC, making him more vulnerable to attack. But, he is also extremely fast - a major advantage over slow-as-the-dead zombies. Co S: 63%

Kirby: Puffball that can fly. big advantage, but he can only do so for so long. As soon as he eats a zombie, it's all over. Co S: 5%

Captain Olimar: Two Words: Orbit the world. And he's also smart, meaning that he'll leave immediately. Co S: 99% (1% down for unforeseen problems).

Big B: I agree and disagree with many of the above mentioned statements, my list for chances of survival is as follows:

Mario and Co.- They have fire, hammers, and 1-up mushrooms. They would last a fair decent time period if they hole themselves up in the castle. I would put Co S at around 50%

Bowser- He already has an undead army, so he doesn't have to worry about that. He can take out a large portion of them with his flame breath. He also has a floating castle, VERY helpful. I would put his Co S at 75% because he can be an idiot at time.

Link- He has light arrows, the Master Sword, and the Triforce. But he is too much of a hero. He would die quickly due to heroism. Co S: 25%

Ganondorf- He would probably take control of the zombies, as he already controls the redead. Co S: 80% if he can gain control, 50% if he can't.

Kirby- He is stupid(intellectual wise). He would enhale one of them and then become one. Co S:0-1%

Olimar, Louie, and the President- Pikmin are plant based so they are not effected by the zombies, they have a ship, and also have hazard suits in case of an airborn virus. But one puncture to the suit would result in death due to oxygen poisoning. Even considering that, I put Co S at 90%.

Samus- Power Suit plus upgrades, Arm Cannon which includes many different choices of attack, Morph Ball with Power Bombs, and her ship ups her chances of survival to around 80-90%

The Pig King: As far as characters from RP Gs like Earthbound, Fire Emblem, and Pokémon, what can heal an infection? Can a trip to the Pokémon Center or Healing Ω turn you back? If they can bring you back from the dead, it's not entirely reasonable to assume that they can bring you back from the undead.

Thunderflame: I'll be assuming that zombies are as fast as the people that were infected, you don't get infected simply by being attacked, there are no survivors, zombies can't use tools, weapons, or anything more than rudimentary attacks, and characters who don't normally use firearms won't start now.

Mario and Luigi: 10%. I can't see jumping as a particularly effective attack against zombies. Even the fire flower would be pretty iffy.

Link: 60%. Painless zombies won't be as hindered by a gash as much as a regular person, but they also aren't going to try and defend themselves. I think he could take out quite a few infected pretty quickly.

Ganondorf: 100%: The Triforce of Power grants him immortality and nigh-invulnerability, after all.

Samus: 98%. She'll be able to slaughter hundreds of infected at a time, and her suit will be able to handle whatever the zombies throw at her. Even Zombie Ridley won't be much of a challenge, since becoming a zombie will have stripped him of his intelligence.

Ridley: 90%. Pretty much the same as Samus.

Pokemon: 0% Assuming other Pokemon make up the zombie horde, they're screwed. There wouldn't be any Pokemon centers, after all!

Kirby: 20%. Let's just assume that inhaling a zombie won't make the pink puffball undead.

Donkey Kong: 40%. His brute strength is going to get him far, but I'm guessing he'll be picked off by attrition.

Olimar: 30%. One hundred pikmin at a time verses the zombie horde. I don't think so. I'm assuming he can't leave the planet for some reason.

Captain Falcon: 90%. His fists light on fire when he punches people, for crying out loud!

Fox Mc Cloud/Falco: 70%. Their blasters may just help them survive.

E. Gadd: 100%. He'll just invent some way of restoring the zombies to normal.

Bowser: 80%. He's a pretty tough turtle.

The Elebits: 100%. They appear indestructible, and the zombies can't use the capture gun.

Ness/Ninten/Lucas: 30%. PK or not, they're kids. I don't think that they're particularly durable.

Dimentio: 100%. He has his own dimension he can hop in.

Dark Samus: 100%. Even if the zombies somehow kill her, she'll respawn eventually.


Who rules after the apocalypse? The Vault Dweller, The Chosen One, and the Lone Wanderer versus Three Desert Rangers?
A battle for the right to claim the Warhammer40000 Galaxy. The forces of Chaos, united against a common foe, vs. the canonically-yet-to-arrive full force of the extragalactic-invading Tyranids.

Also, a good old-fashioned Bug War: no reinforcements for either side - a force of Tyranids vs. an equal-sized force of Zerg.

Smiggins: At least in the latest edition, Tyranids got some real ranged firepower, and it was still present - just not to the same degree - in earlier editions. Hive Guard would be able to go toe-to-toe against Guardians, at least, and Tyrannofexes may well be able to destroy Utralisks, Guardians and possibly everything else (Fleshborer Hive, anyone?) before they got close. On the ground, Hormagaunts and Zerglings almost reach parity, with Zerglings perhaps having a slightly higher rate of attack and maybe being faster. Hydralisks are probably relatively comparable to ranged-spec Tyranid Warriors. Ultralisks are comparable to melee Carnifexes with an armoured shell and a bit more speed with fewer attacks. However when it comes to the ground, the Tyranids have vastly more options, such as Ripper Swarms, Genestealers and so on - the only thing the Zerg have that Nids don't is Banelings - which, admittedly, would be very useful, especially against Rippers, Hormagaunts and Termagants, possibly Tervigons as well.In the air, the Tyranid have less of an advantage, since the Zerg do have a solid collection of air units. In particular, if enough Scourge are floating around, advantage in the air is negated, and Nids tend to fight more on the ground. Though this does not guarantee instant victory due to the Nids ranged weapons.Ultimately, since the forces are of the same size and are limited, the victor depends on what and how much each side has. If both sides had perfectly balanced representations of their forces, however, instinct tells me the Nids would win. Genestealers will handily tear up Zerglings in melee, and ultimately I suspect enough of the Nids ranged firepower on the ground would survive, defeat the air force, and then chew through the Hydralisks and Roaches that ultimately beat back much of the surviving Nids melee front line. The Ultralisks would cause trouble, though the Hive Tyrant could probably take them with armour-ignoring Boneswords, as could a Zoanthrope.This is by no means an easy victory, however. A Nydus Worm disgorging a pile of Banelings into the Nids back line would really foul up their day, for one thing, and there's probably a half-dozen other ways the Zerg could win... while I give Nids the advantage, it would come down to the circumstances and leadership on the day.


Willy Four Eyes: Battle of the Ms. Fanservice ninjas: Mai Shiranui vs. Anko vs. Izuna vs. Taki. Who would win in 1) a drag-down, white-knuckle, balls-to-the-wall ninja brawl, and in 2) the coveted "swimsuit competition"?

The Great Pie: Much fapping from you ensues. Even if you're a girl.


Who would win at a drinking contest: Hercules or Yuugi?

Big B: Yuugi (her sake, NOT EVEN A DROP), and somehow Suika would pop in and join the party. if she's not already hosting it.


L is called in to catch Johann Liebert. What happens?

Rothul: L in a wash. Johann is able to mess with Tenma for several reasons: one, Tenma isn't able to prove Johann's existence so everyone thinks he's crazy. L has a particular skill for proving the existence of serial murderers within ten minutes of being introduced to the story. Two, Tenma is constantly on the run from the police and has a poor ally structure. L has his multi-national organization and more cash and resources onhand then a small army. Three, Tenma is way too vulnerable to the Hannibal Lecture, whereas L is an amoral emotional blank-slate. To Monster's questions of "Is all life equal? Do some people deserve to live more than others? Is it all right to kill a murderer," L would not hesitate to respond with "No, Yes, and shoot the pretty-boy, Matsuda."


Ambar Son of Deshar: For fans of The Belgariad: Silk somehow ends up in the DC Universe and opens up shop in Metropolis, opposite Lex Luthor. Assuming weapons are not involved (or if they are that Silk can call on Garion and co to balance out Lex's tech advantage) who puts who out of business?
Batman without prep time vs a homicidal halfling ranger, a psychotic alien, and one Zergling. Yes, just one. And no, he can't make copies.

Nodrog: I'm going to say Batman. Batman has gone against Bane, Joker, and more brainwashed mooks then I can count. By this time, he only needs prep time for the really strange threats.

Rothul: Batman bribes Belkar away with Ale and Whores, impresses Zim to surrender with his height, and hits the Zergling with his Bat-Zergling-Repellant.


Raven Wilder: Bun-Bun from Sluggy Freelance vs. Belkar Bitterleaf from The Order Of The Stick. Which diminutive, knife-wielding sociopath with the initials BB takes it?

Nodrog: Bun-Bun. While both are very capable sociopaths, Bun-Bun has access to Mad Scientist weapons. Finaly, while Belkar is a sexy, shoeless god of war, Bun-bun does completely without any form of clothing.


Deuxhero: Cirno vs. Uber Pixie. Who is the strongest?

Anonymous: As a very hardcore Cirnofag, I tend to think that anything remotely organic WILL be frozen quickly assuming Cirno plays her strongest suit on the spot rather than trying to fire icicles at the opponent. Throw in Sol Titanion in the mix, however...


Gaunt 88: A peice of Applied Phlebotinum appears in the middle of a typical western city. Three groups begin searching for it: Torchwood, the SCP Foundation and the Men in Black. Who finds the artefact first and who ends up taking it with them when they leave?

Nodrog: The SCP Foundation wins, due to numbers. If we're going with Torchwood 3, they never had more then half a dozen members on the show, and I think that's with counting a memory-changing imposter. With MIB, we don't know how many agents they have, but given their naming scheme they can't have more then 26 active field agents.


lazerbeam22: Drizzt Do'Urden versus Legolas. Battle of the Elves, who wins?

Big B: Drizzt, although it would be an epic fight. Legolas's main weapon is the bow but he is good with the sword, Drizzt's is the scimitars. Here is how the battle would go:

Drizzt and Legolas enter, they speak, they decide on a friendly sparring match, Drizzt draws his scimitars, Legolas draws his sword, they don protective padding on their weapons, they circle each other until one of them strikes (doesn't matter which), they match each others parries while sizing each other up, they then start to speed up, they exchange lightning fast blows, each one matches the other, eventually Legolas slaps Drizzt lightly with his sword, Drizzt responds with a double slap to his arm, eventually Drizzt pushes Legolas back, Legolas then starts pushing Drizzt back on his heels, Drizzt then drops a globe of darkness over them, Drizzt gains a slight advantage, the battle continues, Drizzt pushes them out of the darkeness and gets Legolas on his heels, a double slash nearly knocks Legolas's sword from his hands, his sword is knocked out wide, Drizzt then pokes him in the chest, Legolas conciedes defeat, Drizzt then slips his scimitars back in the sheaths and helps Legolas to his feet, they both walk down the corridor speaking of adventures that they have had, both exit.

KyoShiranui: While a straight fight would play out the way you've described, aren't you forgetting the Fantastic Racism aspect? Drizzt would probably assume Legolas is out to kill him and react appropriately. Alternately, Drizzt suffers Heroic BSoD as a result of the events in The Dark Elf Trilogy. Remember Legolas is described as a wood elf, a critical issue in this case.

Big B: Not so. As of the beginning of the Legacy of the Drow collection, Drizzt is accepted by many if not all of the goodly races. He is free to walk about Silverymoon, which is undoubtedly covered with wood elves, he no longer suffers from his Heroic BSoD(he can actually slightly control it if you are refering to The Hunter),and he is also free to walk throughout Waterdeep and all the cities of the Sword Coast and Ten Towns. Drizzt only assumes 3 different people(or race in one case) are out to kill him: Drow, Artemis Entreri, and Errtu. He has overcome most if not all of his troubles with both prejudice and emotional problems. Not to mention he probly met Legolas in Mithral Hall, with Legolas being an emmisary from Gimli and his people (most likely over the trade of mithral and mithral items). Plus, Drizzt has never , and will never, kill a surface elf.

KyoShiranui: I think the problem here is Drizzt is fundamentally different depending on which series he's in. I was referring to Drizzt at the end of The Icewind Dale Trilogy, where he's still at risk of discovery and immediate assault in any region other than Ten-Towns. Your Drizzt is several centuries older and probably ten levels higher. There's a couple facts in your statement I'd also disagree with, such as him never killing surface elves (his vow actually refers to other dark elves) and the basis of the Heroic BSOD (the surface raid in the first book). Of course, we're assuming that they even get a chance to spar, instead of immediately getting hit with a Random Encounter.

Big B: No he is not. And he is only a few YEARS older in the Legacy of the Drow series (as testamented by the still going on lives of Wulfgar, Cattie-Brie, Bruenor, Regis, and Entreri). Also, he still overcomes the BSOD. As for the vow, he didn't specifiacly vow as much as his actions say it. At the end of the Icewind Dale Trilogy he has overcome most of the prejudice, as stated in the epiloge (and also mentioned in the tellings of him leaving Mitral Hall to go to Silverymoon for weeks on end). But anyway, we both agree Drizzt would win right?


tennessean: Yotsuba is trapped in the Warhammer 40000 galaxy. How long does she last before she goes insane/gets killed/whatever?

The Great Pie: Realistically, 1 second. What with her Memetic Nice-ass personality? Makes Warhammer make My Little Pony look sugar-free.

Deuxhero: She lightens up the girmdark as soon as she encounters a sapient.

Schizo Technician: She begins accruing faith and belief and other positive emotions from people across the galaxy with her childlike innocence and naivete, and then is killed by one of the many threats, probably a Chaos-worshipper who feels threatened by her influence. The positive emotions and faith she had accumulated in her short time skyrocket her into a wholly positive and idealistic God, who, once on the godly plain of influence, proceeds to charm the various Eldritch Abomination things into a Heel–Face Turn.

Specialist290: Schizo, that's epic. Someone should make a doujin about that.


Nodrog: A corporation has a modeling contest to decide which teenage model to hire to advertise their line of dresses. The prize is magically correcting the curse / problem the person is affected with after the person participates in one photo shoot in the dress. The contestants:Noah , Ash , and Elliot from just before Elliot touched the Dewitchery Diamond. Other contestants are allowed, but each contestant must be male web comic charachters who has either been turned female or forced to crossdress against his/her will.

Schizo Technician: Either Ash, by virtue of more experience with modeling than any of the others, or Yuuki, by virtue of being the most in touch with his undesired female persona.

Medinoc: I'd say Ash too.


Reflextion: The mightiest swordsman in Ivalice, traverser of worlds, seeker of legendary blades, Gilgamesh! versus the strongest (and smartest!) in Gensokyo, the mighty Cirno! Who will emerge triumphant in this knock-down, drag-out, no-holds-barred clash of the titans?'

Deuxhero: Golgamesh doesn't have a giant blind spot right in front of him and is a decent fighter from a boss fight prospective, Cirno... yeah.

Pykrete: Then again, fairies are immortal. So worst case scenario, she pichuuns a few times, then cries until he gets bored and leaves. She might seek vengeance for a while afterward, but will eventually get distracted and never think about it again. What Gilgy has to worry about is if she goes Advent Cirno before this happens.

Anonymous: I would like to remind everyone that Cirno's incompetence and idiocy have been rather exaggerated by the fandom. Her blind spot only exists on EZ Modo, and affects only one spellcard at that. And I am assuming that Gilgamesh will most likely challenge her in Lunatic Mode, knowing his self-confidence - and then he has to deal with more icicles than anyone short of Marisa or Reimu could possibly dodge - in particular, Hailstorm (Lunatic). If more standard combat is used, Hisoutensoku style, there again Cirno is quite the able fighter able to hold her own against even the nuclear near-goddess Utsuho Reiuji, despite having been forced to flee from her eventually. Full power wise, she would most likely be able to freeze Gilgamesh without so much as an afterthought.


The Albino Primid: M.C. Escher Vs. anyone from Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann. Whoever warps the perspective of reality the most wins. Bonus points if it's awesome.


Dynamite XI: Serpentera versus the Enterprise-D. One is a supermassive dragon-shaped ship that easily dwarfs regular skyscraper-tall zords. The other is a 42-deck Galaxy Class starship with photon torpedoes and phasers. At the time of the battle, the D's subspace communications are jammed, and Zedd can't summon monsters.

Pykrete: Star Trek ships are pretty lousy on maneuverability all around, are basically sitting ducks at impulse speed, and any larger impact than random space debris causes power to go out, key systems to fail, and consoles to explode. While Power Rangers / Sentai zords have a similar amount of volatile equipment, they are ultimately designed for close combat as far as both maneuverability and hull reinforcement are concerned, so when sparks start flying it all keeps working anyway and doesn't kill the crewmen. Thus, it comes down to whether the Enterprise can destroy Serpentera on the approach — otherwise, it will close range and simply break the Enterprise's warp nacelles in half, after which...you know...bad things happen.


clockworkspider: Something I've been wondering about for a bit. Could a well-trained bender take down a well-trained State Alchemist? How many benders would it take to bring down a Homunculous? Getting into crossover territory, how would the Gaang react to Amestris, and how would Ed and Alphonse (other allies optional) react to the Avatar-verse? Correct me if I'm wrong, but outside of Ed and Alphonse's clapping, or Roy's gloves and their pre-inscribed circles, alchemy seems to have greater flexibility, at the cost of being slower (or at least leaving the alchemist vulnerable while they throw together even a simple circle). I'm probably missing something here, though.

  • Ambar Son of Deshar: Obviously it's going to vary depending on the individual characters, but in general, the Alchemist wins due to exactly what you said: greater flexibility. No matter which element the Bender is using, the Alchemist is going to have access to an appropriate response (generating water to deal with a Fire-Bender, etc). Assuming the Alchemist survives the Bender's first couple of attacks (and from what we've seen most of them are Made of Iron, incredibly agile, and trained in close combat; not to mention having the pre-inscribed circles) he/she is likely to win. As far as Homunculi go, a Bender (and especially a Fire-Bender) could easily handle the Manikin army, and could likely inflict some serious damage to Gluttony, Sloth, Lust, Envy or any of the others who rely on regeneration in order to survive. I can't see them having the speed to hit Bradley though, and Pride and (especially) Father are likely out of their league, as is Greed once his shield is up. As long as we're talking one-on-one fights here, I think FMA has the advantage. As far as the crossover goes, I don't think the Gaang would react well to the strictly-regimented, brutally oppressive Amestris; it represents everything they've fought against turned up even more. Not sure how Ed and Al would react to the Avatar-verse though.
    • Universalperson: You're forgetting Pride can be neutralized by being buried alive. Regardless, fully powered Avatar can probably take down Father's final form after a very long and difficult fight. If only because Father becomes weaker the more damage he takes.
    • That's assuming that he's a) facing an earth bender, and b) that they go with "bury him" and not "hit him with big stone pillars" before Pride slices them into pieces. And given that Father held out against Roy, Ed, Hohenheim, Izumi, Armstrong, Greed, and half the Amestrian army before finally being destroyed from within, I've got to give him the advantage even over a fully powered Aang. All that power against one oppenent? I don't doubt the kid puts up a good fight, but I think he's toast, especially given his aversion to killing. In fact, that's another point against the Avatar cast: most of them aren't willing to kill (outside of the Fire Nation). Ed and Al seem to be the only people in FMA who share that problem, and the Homunculi and Kimblee are downright homicidal. Bending's stylisised movements wouldn't help it any either, whether its against an alchemist (esp one with pre-inscribed circles) or the Homunculi, who tend to just close in fast and finish the job.


A Space Marine versus a Spartan-II. One-on-one (no backup or interference).

Also: who is the greater sentient manifestation of anger, bloodlust, and hatred? Khorne? Or the Kyuubi no Youko?

  • Khorne. Definitely.


tennessean: Batman vs. Negi Springfield. Both are given sufficient time to prepare.

Schizo Technician: We did this before (Batman winner due to Hannibal Lecture advantage- Batman could drive Negi into mindless berseker state, easy to avoid and such, whereas the most Negi could do with such lectures would be to awaken the Batman of Zurr-En-Arr personality). However, seeing as Negi has solved the berserker problem since then, I gotta give this one to the kid, on the basis that he really doesn't have any obvious weak points anymore besides vulnerable allies (which Bats can't bring himself to attack), reality warping (Bats doesn't have it), and sheer being overpowered- but Bats wins on strategy, not power. The only way Batman could win would be to hold some of Negi's mundane students hostage on the Watchtower with teleportation grid disabled for teleportation from there to Earth... but, again, that's against his morality, since Batman doesn't harm civilians.


Candy Entrails: The Punisher and Max Payne are locked in a building with locked exits. There are pistols, submachine guns, shotguns, assault rifles and all other sorts of armaments spread around the building, and the exits will only be available when one of them is dead. There's no breaking out, no teaming up, just two men fighting for their lives.

Who goes on to continue spreading their fatal brand of justice?


Gunnar Moerk: Chewbacca vs Uwe Boll. Who's ze best boxah in ze whole fahking beezness?

Art Fever: One thing is for sure, mr. Boll won't have any arms left for a rematch.


Art Fever: The cyborgified King Kong corpse plans to reclaim his old home that is now inhabited by Dorry and Brogy. King Kongs arsenal includes Eye Beams, a Tentacle Rope for a tongue, an enormous chainsaw for his right hand and gas problems. Who wins?

Enlong: "HAKOKU SOVEREIGNTY!" * Kong dies*


Enlong: Ginta Toramizu vs. Monkey D. Luffy. Let's say both are at the height of their power (meaning Ginta has all the Versions of Babbo that are suited for combat). The battlefield is a vaguely Hawaii-esque tropical island, complete with rainforest, (inactie) volcano, and desert. The fight begins on the edge of the forst, near the beach.
Enlong: Let's say we somehow have two copies of Gaara at the absolute height of his power. The first one attacks the second with Spear of Shukaku (said to be able to break through any defense) and the second one defends against that attack with Shield of Shukaku (said to be able to block any attack). What happens?

Art Fever: My guess is that it will turn into a meme, like the case of the cat with a buttered back.


Art Fever: After a horrible oil leak on the American east coast, Divided States of America occurs. The exhausted president begs Ozymandias to reunite the states in his old fashioned way. Will it blend work?

Schizo Technician: For about a year or so. Then investigations and genetic testing find the paper trail and non-eldritch-nature of the creature, and the nation unifies against him, then breaks up again.


Deuxhero: Julius Belmont (Has Aria's age and Dawn's actually keeping himself in shape. We all know the battle of 1999 version would own everything), D, Abraham Van Helsing and Buffy are transported to... wherever Twilight happens (Supposedly Forks, Washington, but as it has nothing in common with Forks, Washington...) and have to rid the town of its supernatural threats. Who gets the highest killcount?

Pykrete: Who cares? Everyone wins. (except the vampires and stuff)

Schizo Technician: I gotta give this to Julius, in terms of body count. His subweapons are ridiculously powerful, and give him much greater offensive magical abilities than Van Hellsing or Buffy (dunno much about D...). Meyerpires are noted for extremely dense, hard skin, so superior magical damage (cross explosion thinggy, holy water-flame, enchanted, possibly flaming whip, etc) able to bypass that resistance to impacts would provide a distinct advantage to wooden stakes and regular mediaeval weapons. Again, I don't know jack about D.

Deuxhero: Now let's throw in everyone from the Vampire Hunter page (not initially included because I had no idea who they were, or completely broken). Also remember that ability to track down the supernatural counts as much as the actual killings. Also, no fighting between the hunters.


Deuxhero: Tommy Oliver vs. Jacob Black. Tommy has the Red Zeo powers and no Zord.

Schizo Technician: Does that giant wheel thing he occasionally used count as a zord? The superfast rolling one, not the one with limbs.

The Other Steve: The giant wheel thing needed help from the other Rangers, so I'd say he can't use it. I still have to give this to Tommy, since 1) the Zeo powers get stronger over time and 2) Tommy Oliver.


Hatedom COMBAT! Barney the Dinosaur, Wesley Crusher, and Scrappy Doo vs the entire cast of Twilight and The Inheritance Cycle. No Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies option cos I like to torture you. Twilight and Eragon are represented by Bella Swan and Eragon.
  • Round 1: Actual Combat: This may not seem fair, so let's give Scrappy the actual ability to fight monsters, Barney the abilities of a real T. rex, and Wesley... a laser gun.
  • Round 2: Hatedom: Put them in a Meet and Greet in front of their respective Hatedoms. No fans or cops to protect them. Who dies first? To make it fair, Team Twilight can't run or fight back.
  • Round 3: Making People Look Good In Comparison: Team Scrappy is placed with Ethan and Team Twilight is placed near Dominic Deegan. First one to save the Web Comic characters from the Hatedoms of said characters wins. (Preferred method of rescuing is "Getting ripped to shreds before he does.") Same handicaps for Team Twilight.
    • Ambar Son of Deshar: In the combat round, Eragon wins. He's a Marty Stu from a fantasy world, with access to magic, dragons, and other things like that. The only real problem for him would be T. Rex Barney (and such a concept might actually reduce the latter's hatedom making this irrelevant; there's something hilariously awesome about a giant flesheating lizard that lectures you on friendship and love between chomps).
    • Phoenix Fire: I suspect Twilight "wins" Round 2. Because it's such a ludicrously popular series, the Hatedom is proportionally enormous. Far more of the Eragon anti-fans think it's crap, but hilarious crap, and the rest are single characters, who don't think garner quite as much hate since people are less likely to have heard of a character if they don't like the show for other reasons.

Schizo Technician: Battle within the Super Mario universe for Luigi's love! Prince Peasely vs. Princess Daisy. Actual martial combat.
Candy Entrails: Alex and Ryan vs. The Lee Brothers. The fight takes place in the streets of Metro City.
The Keroro Daishogun vs. The God Keron. Time paradox aside, assume neither mech uses their respective final weapons.
windseer: Gangster Fight:Vongola Family vs. Giorno and Friends. The fight will be like the Vongola Rings Arc, with each member fighting his respective member from the other team in their specific arena.

Just to answer possible questions:

Vongola family: -Tsuna -Lambo -Hibari -Yamamoto -Gokudera -Chrome -Ryohei

Vento Aureo: -Giorno -Narancia -Buccelati -Guido Mista -Abbachio - Trish -Fugo

You can choose the pairings for the fight. The Vongola family has all the powers 'till the Vongola rings arc and Giorno's group have all the abilities they developed through the Italy trip, Except for the Golden Experience Requiem.


yuigundam: Neku Sakuraba Vs. Rion SteinerTaking place after the first Galerians Game. Who would win?
Art Fever: Batman versus Xanatos... in a game of CHESS!

Rothul: Batman doesn't play chess. Batman flips over the board, punches his opponent in the face and goes off to play Settlers of Cataan.

No Drog: Actually, we have seen Batman playing chess with Riddler, while the only time I remember seeing Xanatos playing, it was with Fox... and even then it was more probably just a chance to show off his custom Pack/Gargoyles chess set. My vote would be Batman, based on the strength of opponents... Riddler is supposed to be an intellectual, while Fox is an action girl. Plus, I recently reqatched the episode on You-tube. Fox WON the chess game with Xanatos. Unless you can convince me Fox could beat Batman in a game of chess, I say the Bat has it.

Pykrete: But maybe Xanatos wanted Fox to win?


Yotsuba reads Nanas Everyday Life. Is her Cheerful Child attitude broken?

Rothul: No. She rewrites her own ending in crayon, emails it in, and the author is so overwhelmed with cuteness that it immediately becomes canon.


World's Greatest Thief vs. World's Greatest Detective: Batman (the Animated Series version) vs. Lupin III.

Rothul: This has all the makings of a draw: Batman retrieves whatever is stolen by Lupin, but the thief still gets away in the end, vowing to stay away from Gotham.


Yankee Doodle: A Blood Knight fight with No Sense of Direction: Kenpachi Zaraki versus Roronoa Zoro?
Enlong: An Arwing piloted by a player character vs. Samus's gunship.

Kaiser 6012: You'd think that this one would be relatively simple, even assuming the best ship that Samus has used, the one in Prime 3 - while the Gunship has a respectable ordnance and reasonable ability to support Samus in ground based operations, the raw fact of the matter is that the Arwing is quicker and designed for ship-to-ship combat (no, not that type of combat) while the Gunship has enough to get it out of a scrape and protect itself (it is known to have a blast shield and missiles but more is unknown, presumably absent). Arwing wins by a decent margin.


Subsequential Artist: Krillin versus Ishida? The battleground is the Parish.

Schizo Technician: Krillin. He may be weaker than his compatriots, yes, but that doesn't change the fact that he's still at least ten times stronger than Vegeta was in the Saiyan Saga, which is minimum Planetbuster level. Ishida, as powerful and good at arrow spam as he is, won't be able to dent that; I'd assume his Power Level is in the hundreds or low thousands, tens of thousands at most, compared to Krillin's hundreds of thousands to millions. Ishida does the arrow spam, kicking up a cloud of dust. The dust is blown away, revealing Krilling slightly scuffed, but otherwise unarmed. Counterattack.


Candy Entrails: Banjo and Kazooie vs. The Kong Family vs. {{Conker.|Bad Fur Day}}

1st challenge: a survival challenge with hordes of mooks, one contestant at a time. 5 lives are alloted. For the Kongs, they switch out on subsequent lives in this order: Chunky, Tiny, Lanky, Diddy, Donkey. Whoever holds out the longest wins.

2nd challenge: a collectathon on a varied environment {ex: ice, grass, rocks) with 1000 MacGuffins, all spread out fairly far. All the contestants participate at once. For Banjo-Kazooie and Conker to win, they need 100 Macguffins. For the Kongs to win, they need 500 Macguffins.

3rd challenge: a horizontal platforming segment filled with pits, traps and Mooks. All the contestants participate at once. First one to the end wins, in the case of Conker and Banjo -Kazooie. The Kongs need 3 members there to win.

Tiebreaker, if needed: a battle royale between all the contestants. Again, five lives. The Kongs switch out in the same order as the 1st challenge.

Banjo-Kazooie are fresh out of Tooie. Winner gets a Jiggy, a Golden Banana, and lots of money.

Enlong: If the Kongs have to switch out on each life, shouldn't Banjo and Kazooie each fight alone as well?

  • Candy Entrails: The bear and bird get to stay together because Kazooie doesn't move independently of Banjo when she's in his backpack.

Pykrete: I have to give all of it to Banjo and Kazooie.

  • In the survival, the mooks are ultimately meaningless as all three parties can plow through them effortlessly. The match would quickly turn into what the tiebreaker is supposed to be as Banjo-Kazooie and Conker start trying to off the other contestants. The Kongs would catch on and retaliate, but Chunky would get clobbered before he figured out what was going on. As the majority of Conker's offensive ability is circumstantial (drunk/bladder capacity, convenient room traps that he must lure Too Dumb to Live bosses into), both Banjo-Kazooie and the Kongs are all heavily armed, and Banjo-Kazooie would be relatively unfazed by Conker's biological warfare (they would certainly be miffed at getting pissed on, but honestly they've been through worse), he goes down quickly. After the squirrel bites it, Banjo and Kazooie have all of the Kongs beat on sheer maneuverability and Wonderwing.
  • In the collectathon, Conker gets flushed again, as most of his abilities are relatively inflexible gimmicks. Banjo and Kazooie are considerably faster than everyone except Lanky in Orangsprint and don't even need a barrel or crystals to pull it off, have the jump range of Tiny, and a much quicker and more maneuverable flight ability than Diddy — and once more, will not be at all shy about sabotaging their opponents. The only way this might be a contest is if they had to double or triple the number of collectables.
  • The platforming is similarly one-sided, as Banjo and Kazooie essentially have all the most practical platforming abilities of all of the Kongs combined, and nearly none of them require conveniently-placed pads to activate.


The Fosters Home For Imaginary Friends Nakama* Includes Mac, Bloo, Coco, Eduardo, Wilt, and Frankie vs Spiny Norman. Remember how large Spiny Norman is, mind you.


Adell vs Kid Buu, Super Buu, Laharl, God Kefka, Trance Kuja, Baal, Prinny Baal, and...uh, Dialga and Palkia all at once.

Schizo Technician: They all unleash their ultimate attacks, destroying the planet they're on, and probably the sun it orbits as well. Kid Buu survives by dint of Perfect Regeneration and not needing to breathe in space, the lack of air doing in any of the others that survived. Kid Buu wins by default as the only survivor.

Enlong: Unless Palkia spacewarps the blasts away from the planet itself, or Dialga timehaxes the battlefield into surviving. Those two might walk away with the prize if they use their powers creatively enough.

Ansem Paul: Adell loses, unless hes reincarnated and grinded very very much. Story wise, no one has beaten Baal on his own, INCLUDING LAHARL (Etna and Flonne say hi). Soloing Ball is very diffacult. Soloing Baal, Prinny Baal, Larharl and the other dudes is basically impossiable

The Great Pie: Even though I am reviled at your lack of respect for some of the greatest video game Complete Monsters, you got my idea across. I was talking about Adell against impossible odds, all of them teamed up and faced all at once. Guess we'll have better luck with Kamina.


Candy Entrails: Chie Satonaka vs. Regal Bryant. Who would kick the other into submission first?

Schizo Technician: It all depends on if Regal has an Exsphere, I think. If he does, he wins. If not, I'm not sure.

Ansem Paul: It would have to be in the TV world of Chie would lose instantly. Ottherwise, I dunno


Darkjigglypuff: The Enclave (Fallout) vs The Combine (Half Life). Assuming equal numbers, who wins? Enclave can use tamed Deathclaws, Vertibirds, and every weapon they've ever been seen using, including Sentry Bots and Enclave Radio Drones. Combine can use everything they've been seen using in the games, besides the cut stuff. This means Striders, Hunters, Gunships, Hunter-Choppers, Metro-cops, those things that ake you picture, etc.


Guant 88: Battle of the videogame Badass Bookworms - Gordon Freeman and Isaac Clarke are dumped on a space station full of slavering zombies. Gordon has his crowbar and gravity gun. Isacc has his telekinesis module. The station is full of potentialy deadly mining tools and a scattering of weapons lockers. There is only one Escape Pod. Who makes it out alive? If they meet up, who wins the fight?

Deuxhero: They share?


Galactus and Unicron both show up to try to eat Earth at the same time. Unfortunately for them, it's Earth from Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann. WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WOULD WIN?!

Schizo Technician: While the Gurren-Dan would win if it was in its end-of-series configuration, if its any time before they unlock the Arc-Gurren-Lagann, or any time after Simon goes wandering and thus ensures that he cannot be found in time to stop those two rapid-moving threats, the planet gets eaten before they can assemble enough opponents; there's only a very, very narrow window of time where they would be able to respond rapidly enough to attack before being eaten. I'm guessing Unicron would let Galactus eat it; Unicron is eating to destroy everything, whereas Galactus is actually hungry, so Unicron would probably want to keep Galactus alive and healthy as long as possible to make the job of eating the universe easier, and as such Big U would acquiesce to Big G's needs in terms of planet-munching.

Arbane: But don't forget, pre-Simon, Lordgenome would've defended Earth, and post-Simon, Gimmy and Darry are piloting Gurren Lagann. Earth has a chance...

Schizo Technician: They would need the Arc-Gurren-Lagann to stand a chance, though. Would Lordgenome be willing to risk activating it, risking drawing the ire of the Anti-Spirals? Would Gimmy and Darry have enough Spiral Power to transform it fast enough without Simon's endless reserves?


For sheer curbstomping hilarity, Arcueid Brunestud and her boyfriend vs. Vampire Bella Swan and her boyfriend. I don't think Bella's forcefield power will be enough...

Feo Takahari: If it were just Edward against Arcueid, it would be easy to predict this, but Bella might actually be able to talk her way out of the fight.


Makanouchi Ippo vs Jacob Black (movie version) in a boxing match (Obviously Jacob Black can't use his wolf form). Will Ippo's experience and sheer power overcome Jacob's massive advantage in height and weight? (I'm personally rooting for Ippo)
  • I don't know much about Jacob, but Ippo has definitely fought at a disadvantage before and won. I think with Ippo's Determinator streak, he would either win because he kept getting up, and even if he lost, he'd probably scare the SHIT out of Jacob and anyone else who saw him.

Clashes Of The Titans. One-on-one fights between various king-size bruisers vs. Zeruel The 14th, the nigh-unstoppable titan of the Angels. Opponents for the different matches are: Dynamis' humongous Shadow Daemon; Gamabunta; Shukaku the Sand Daemon; Killer-Bee as the Eight-Tails; a Scarab; the Gurren Lagann; Imperialdramon (humanoid form/mode); Cthulhu; and Voltaire the Dragon Lord (keep in mind that, though he didn't do much on-screen, Voltaire is, by Word of God, the Guardian Dragon of an entire planet, so he's got to be packing some serious power).

Also, matches of the big bad super-Angel vs. some smaller powerhouses: Goku (how high would he need to transform? SS 2? 3?); Nanoha (post-Striker S); Negi (late Magic World arc, after tournament match vs. Rakan but before shit goes down with Kurt Goedel and Cosmo Entelecheia; he has Raiten Sousou and that titan-slayer spear attack, but not the Erebus Daemon form).

  • Universalperson: The AT-Field blocks wayyyyyyy too many things; anything that uses non-almost-nuclear-explosive non-giant laser attacks are probably out unless they can destroy a planet with a punch. With the ones I know of, Scarab will get his limbs cut off, as its energy weapons are repelled, Imperialdramon MIGHT be able to penetrate the AT-Field with its attack, but it probably would need to go Paladin Mode just to get more powerful. Cthulhu...that is really up to interpretation and if Cthulhu can go through the AT-Field by virtue of being an Eldritch Abomination, although Zeruel can certainly comprehend him. Gurren Lagann can probably DRILL right through it if the pilots will it enough. Goku does have ki-blasts powerful enough to destroy planets, so Zeruel can't block that, while as for Nanoha she'll probably manage to get a Starlight Breaker through the protected core.

A footrace between Shaggy and Rincewind, while the two are being chased by monsters.

Schizo Technician: I gotta give this one to Rincewind for sheer experience and practice's sake, based on their ages. Also, Rinso has demonstrated the ability to go very large distances very quickly with minimal caloric intake and even less exploring what is happening, whereas Shaggy does retain some curiosity and more importantly, will get tired and hungry much faster.

Rothul: I disagree, at least in the spirit of the contest. While Shaggy manages to have a rather high rate of actually escaping from monsters (even if it requires him and Scoob to dress up as stylists and force a make-over on the creature), Rincewind will inevitably head in the direction of even more danger.

Schizo Technician: Not of his own will, though, which brings up an interesting question. Are Fate and The Lady playing behind the scenes, or are we going godless?

Rothul: It all depends on the ancillary characters. If Scrappy's making an appearance, clearly there are no Gods in play.

Schizo Technician: So, since Rincewind is only bound to head in the direction of more danger (and thus lose the race) when manipulated by the Gods, that means that Shaggy loses if Scrappy is anywhere in the area. That sounds about right.


Adell vs Kid Buu, Baal, Darkseid, and Safer Sephiroth. Can Heroic Willpower go Beyond the Impossible and beat near-Physical God level beings?

Schizo Technician: Naturally, depending on his level.

  • Sephiroth: Easily crushed. If it was Kefka, Exdeath, Kuja or one of the FF villians able to solo a planet without breaking a sweat, that'd be a different story- remember, Disgaea characters (example: Laharl) reach planetbuster-with-effort-and-summoning levels (where Sephiroth is- they both even use meteors) around level 50, and they go into quadruple digits.
  • Baal: he's dealt with in the past.
  • Darkseid: isn't too much of a problem if you have enough Heroic Willpower to resist his Agony Beams- remember, as a Disgaea character, Adell can shatter planets if he puts his mind to it, whereas Darkseid is in Post-Crisis Superman ranges of strength.
  • Kid Buu: is the only real challenger there; if Adell's fire attacks can get hot enough to burn him enough to avoid regeneration, he could probably win, but, again, it all depends on his level. He'd have to vaporize him entirely with one attack, given Buu's abilities, but anywhere over level 9000 and he should be able to do that.

Segata Sanshiro vs Chuck Norris. FIGHT! Oh, and to protect various civilians (and the universe for that matter), the fight occurs at the Void of Nothingness.

The Great Pie: I'll have to give this to Chuck Norris. Segata Sanshiro was killed by a missile in his last commercial.


The Great Pie: Okay, let's redo this. Death from the Castlevania series vs any human being without Memetic Badass status (that includes Squirrel Girl!) besides any Castlevania protagonist.

Schizo Technician: Billy and Mandy. Hoss Delgado. That one old lady ghost.


De Vos : Okay, can’t believe we haven't had this one yet, but I couldn’t find it on the archive page so here we go... what would you call an individual with the powers to warp reality around them to fulfil their every whim, even in a manner that made no sense according to the established rules of your universe? A Keter, or a God-Mode Sue? SCP Foundation verses Protectors Of The Plot Continuum in a no-holds bared jurisdictional smack down. Presume that SCP items and Sue weapons may be freely used if the respective side feels safe in doing so, any PPC characters or SCP’s may be involved regardless if they are no listed as dead/destroyed/lost/insane/retired/ Kicked Up Stairs.

  • Are we including Dr. Clef's proposal for SCP-001? If so, the Foundation lures them all into its lair and runs away as fast as humanly possible. Failing that, SCP-682 is a pretty good bet for the winner.

Deuxhero:Lavos lands on DC Comics earth in prehistoric times and suddenly awakens in the continuity's "modern day", can earth's combined heroes defeat it? Batman doesn't have any prep time (and is kinda deadish now isn't he?).

Schizo Technician: Superman lifts him up once he pops out and throws him away too fast for the rains of destruction to do anything; Lavos would have spent superman's entire tenure burrowing out, so he wouldn't have any kryptonian DNA.


Deuxhero: Same as above, only the Marvel universe.

Schizo Technician: Same as above, only Incredible Hulk being directed by Reed "I beat Galactus on a regular basis" Richards.


Andrew J: Let's settle who the biggest Bad Ass in the Naritaverse is once and for all! Claire Stanfield (in his prime) versus Heiwajima Shizuo.

  • Shizuo is strong, but Vino is one hell of a lot smarter. It's a bit like Batman vs. Superman.

No Drog: A Serenity / Chronicles of Riddick trifecta:

1> River Tam vs Kyra, bladed weapons only

2> Shepard Book vs Imam

3> A group of Reavers vs a group of Necromongers


The worst game developers collaborate on making a video game. The worst film directors then make an adaptation of said video game. The worst authors (including fanfiction authors) then make a novelization of said film. Then the worst graphic novelists/comic book authors illustrate said novelization.

Which would be the worst?Probably the video game, since it's the one that you'd actually have to participate in, instead of a movie or book where you are just an observer.

Lagren: I'd say the Video game would be pretty horrible. The real question is wether it would become So Bad, It's Good in adaptation, or if it'd just descend to new levels of suck with each adaptation. I can easily see the novelization being So Bad, It's Good, but the film and comic book would likely be even worse. Personally, I'd go with the film as the absolutely worst incarnation. I mean, you know they'd get Uwe Boll.

The Great Pie: Comic, hands down. With people like CWC and David Gonterman, the combined effort of Uwe Boll, Seltzer And Friedberg, Ed Wood, Tara Gilesbie, and Stephanie Meyer is made even worse.


The Great Pie: Battle of the Fat Idiots! Dr Eggman vs Patrick...in a MATH CONTEST!

Feo Takahari: Eggman. There's got to be some math involved in designing those robots.


The Great Pie: Hopeless Boss Fight time! Golbez vs Bowser with Star Rod vs MotherBrain pre-Hyper Beam upgrade vs Etna.

Deuxhero: Bowser, the others are simply far too powerful for you (but not for the other bosses), Bowser is actually immune to damage.


Deuxhero: Mia vs. Chie Satonaka.

Schizo Technician: Chie, if she has access to her Persona, since her persona has a spear, which has an advantage over Mia's sword. If Chie can't access her persona, Chie is dead meat.

Deuxhero: Mia's games have the only effects of the weapon triangle a 20% accuracy boost/hit. Chie isn't a blink tank (One of the best dodgers, but not her primary method of defense) and Mia is one of the most accurate units in the game, it means nothing (It generally doesn't mean a lot, the biggest difference in in 7, where it gives a grand total of + /- one entire point of damage).


Melloncollie: The King vs. The King.

Rothul: Elvis always had a weakness for the bacon-double cheeseburgers....


Lagren: Light Yagami Vs. Harry Dresden:L is dead, and instead of being left to Near and Mello, the White Council obtains the case file. Dresden is on the Merlin's shit list, so he gets sent to Japan to find out who Kira is and bring him to trial for breaking the First Law on a massive scale. Who wins the ensuing deadly mind game?

The Other Steve: It's been a while since I read Death Note, but I'll try. Harry would actually be able to skip the mind game, since Harry is very good at tracking magic to its original source, so he'd likely be able to find the location of at least one of the Death Notes and figure out who's writing in them. (Which, assuming Harry gets on the case at the very beginning of Part 2, would only turn up Light and Misa as culprits. Ryuk may or may not alert them to what's happening, but he wouldn't nessacarily tell them who's doing it. From there, Harry could easily beat both in a straight up fight.

Of course, Harry is not only in the phonebook, but he's listed under "Wizards." Since Light is in charge of the Kira case and a wizard helping in the search would rouse his suspicions, Harry's name would be in the Death Note in a heartbeat.So this whole thing basically hinges on when Light realizes Harry exists and whether he's a threat to him. I don't think I can call a fair judgement due to my fuzzy memory, but hopefully this analysis will help.


The Other Steve: Harry Dresden somehow ends up at the gateport of the Magic World, just as Negi and his students arrive for the events of the Magic World Arc. Harry gets caught up in Fate's terrorist attack, gets teleported to a random corner of the Magic World, and is fingered as one of the culprits behind the attack. Harry has access to all of his power-ups by the end of Changes, and has backup from Bob the Skull and Mouse. He has also not done anything that would upset Negi (like say, stand within a foot of Chachamaru and accidently put her in critical condition because he's a Walking Techbane.) With these handicaps, can Harry survive in a foreign, hostile world where, from his perspective, magic is utterly broken?

Also, bonus question: if Harry can survive, he decides enough is enough and that should go on the offensive against one of the arc's main villains. (Like Fate or Kurt Godel.) Can Harry actually do any damage to them or their plans? If so, how much?

Rakath: Given Chachamaru is powered off magic, and how she reacts to being 'charged,' it is far more likely Harry would cause her spontaneous orgasms from being that close to her. Outside of that, Harry's good at this not dying thing most of the time, I'd give him the surviving there thing without question. Although his general Harry-ness will likely cause him a lot more trouble than the gateport incident.


The Great Pie: The Irresistible Cuteness meets the Immovable Niceness. Fred Rogers vs Yotsuba. Who can make more friends in 60 minutes?

The Other Steve: I'm going to have to say Mr. Rogers, due to experience and that one incident with the carjackers. But they technically both win, as both of them would hit it off and go get ice cream.


Shadow Darkman: Link * You choose which one, and that one will have endgame stats and weapons, no fairies VS Sora * KH 1 or KH 2 again you pick, that one will have all abilities and his best equipment, but not Once More or whatever saves him from a fatal comb VS Crono * best possible equipment and all Techs, Raise/Life is locked though VS Serge * same as Crono VS Zero * pick a costume (X1/MHX, X2-CM, MMZ, Model ZX, or Model OX) and give that incarnation all of his Arts from every game he appeared in, he will have only 1 Sub Tank or whatever

Enlong: I think that if I were to choose A Link To The Past Link, he'd have a fair chance of beating the rest of them. Endgame stats assumes the half-magic meter, four bottles, and all the items. This gives him access to the Cane of Byrna. The Cane makes him utterly invulnerable and gives him Collision Damage capabilities for as long as he can maintain his magic meter. If he doesn't get faeries, then he'd have his four bottles full of Blue Cure-All potion, which means he can replenish his Cane's magic four times and/or come back from almost-death as many times. If he used the Cane, he could outlast the others and discourage them from trying to hurt him so long as the cane is active. If he decides to go offensive, he has many options, but all he really nees are the Quake, Bombos, and Ether medallions, which give him magical destructive force almost on the same order as Luminaire. Bombos in particular lets him hit the entire battlefield, air and land, with extreme fire damage and explosions. And that's not getting into Link's physical prowess with his (twice-improved) Master Sword and (nigh-unpiercable, golden) Mirror Shield. I'd say that that Link probably wins.

A Ltt P Link would get killed before he could react by the hypersonic Sora. WW Link is the only one who can take a hit from Sora(He survived a force of 500000 tons), but he would be KO'd. As such, any Link is a non-factor here, since he basically moves in ultrarapid to Sora.


Several ways this one could happen: Deathmatches and such between the protagonists of Grand Theft Auto 3 and onwards * which means the following characters: Claude & Asuka Kasen (3), Tommy Vercetti (Vice City), Carl & Sweet Johnson, and Wu Zi Mu (San Andreas), Toni Cipriani (Liberty City Stories), Victor & Lance Vance (Vice City Stories), Niko & Roman Bellic, Little Jacob, & Dwayne Forge (4), Johnny Klebitz, Terry Thorpe, and Clay Simmons (Lost & Damned), Luis Fernando Lopez (Ballad of Gay Tony), and Huang Lee (Chinatown Wars) and the antagonists under the said games * Including Catalina, Miguel, and Salvatore Leone (3), Sonny Forelli, Ricardo Diaz, and Lance Vance (Vice City), Frank Tenpenny, Big Smoke, and Ryder (San Andreas), Massamino Torini (Liberty City Stories), Jerry Martinez & Diego Mendez (Vice City Stories), Dimitri Rascalov, James Pegorino, and Darko Brevic (4), Billy Grey and Ray Boccino (Lost & Damned), Ray Bulgarin (Ballad of Gay Tony), and Wu Lee and Zhou Ming (Chinatown Wars). Any weapon, as long as it's been in 4 games, is allowed * meaning the following weapons are allowed: fists, brass knuckles, baseball bats, knives, nightsticks, katanas, chainsaws, Molotov cocktails, grenades, generic pistols, Colt Pythons, Desert Eagles, generic shotguns, stubby shotguns, Spas-12s, Uzis, micro-SM Gs, M P5s, A K47s, M4s, rocket launchers, flamethrowers, miniguns, generic sniper rifles, and PSG-1s.. Now for the scenarios. * First off, a standard battle royale, with no given sides. The winner is the last character standing. Then, a battle royale similar to the first, but it's the aforementioned protagonists against the antagonists. Third, several multiplayer missions from the IV episodes are performed (Hangman's NOOSE, Deal Breaker, etc.). Finally, just simple shenanigans throughout the cities the games take place in. What happens from there? (and I apologize for all the hottips throughout this idea, but I felt that there should be more detail about it, and without the hottips, the idea would be much longer)


Deuxhero: a Dungeons And Dragons 3.5 Batman Wizard at level 20 vs. The Batman. Each has a week to plan (no Genesis Year Inside, Hour Outside shenanigans), the Wizard has access to every Batman comic in the continuity of Batman he is fighting, Batman can see every splat book the Wizard is using and has a copy of his character sheet (From before the planing phase stats, Bats doesn't know any changes the Wizard makes.).

Lagren: The Batman wins because of two things:1: He has more complete information than the wizard. Not everything Batman can do is in his comic books. Everything the wizard can do is in the books.2:HE'S THE GODDAMN BATMAN.

Tom: Yeah, but No. Smartly played Level 20 D&D Wizards wield borderline-godlike power. As a cherry on top they've got superhuman intelligence, knowledge, access to divination/foresight, always-available allies(that are pretty godly themselves, like big-league angels and demons), tons of clever ways to get past their opponents - as well as tons of raw power to get past their opponents and superhuman senses to top it off.
Their knowledge gathering is unparalleled by anything The Batman can think of with technology(since it's, you know, magic). I'm assuming that this is a serious conflict - The Batman doesn't have any variant of Contractual Immortality to save himself. So, anything the Batman has done to prepare, the Level 20 D&D Wizard has already foreseen and prepared accordingly - not a problem with his superhuman intelligence and access to, frankly, absurd amounts of magical power. If, by some miracle, The Batman wins against the Wizard Batman - and the couple of demigod friends he usually has around with him, the Wizard Batman has a clone prepared, buddies with resurrection spells, teleportation spells, half-a-ton of other get-out-of-there spells and so on. He can always come back for more.
This isn't a contest someone like Batman can win. Batman would be - at best - a 6-7th level(that is - slightly superhuman) character with no supernatural powers in D&D. You don't get to win against level 20 D&D Wizards when you're still somewhere in the human range.

Stabby Joe: Hang on, if Batman Wizard gets to call on his friends, does The Batman get to call on his?


Servbot: Battle of the insanely powerful plant demons you would never, ever want to piss off. Youko Kurama vs Yuuka Kazami. Who would win?
Lagren: The entire Dai-Gurren Brigade versus Sosuke Aizen. Can determination kill Captain Broken?

Schizo Technician: Naturally. One word- stomp. Aizen may be strong, but not even he can survive being stepped on by a mech the size of the moon, nor can he so much as dent a mech the size of a large galaxy.


Enlong: Fighter vs Dune vs Warrior Of Light.

The Great Pie: FIGHTER. He can block anything and slice anything with his swords. Both are decapitated before the match starts because Fighter is too dumb to know what a match is.


The_Final_Stand: Kratos Vs Belkar. God Of War vs Sexy Shoeless God Of War. Who can rack up the most kills in 5 minutes? 2 rounds, tiebreaker vs each other.

The Great Pie: Kratos is the GOD OF WAR. Gets more kills in 3 mins than the Belkster can in 5, then impales Belkar for the lulz.

Ansem Paul: Kratos. Not a remotely good match. How about someone more Kratos league?Snarl vs Kratos, which God killer wins? Or Monster in the Dark vs Kratos? Though I think the snarl kills gods easier than Kratos can.

King Nothing: Only because Kratos has to go seeking his next victim, getting through puzzles and slaughtering armies of mooks, otherwise, I think Kratos and Snarl are actually pretty even on god killing capabilities.


Stonepolish: All characters played by Samuel L Jackson, ever, versus each other?

Schizo Technician: I gotta give this one to the Jedi.

Rothul: You mean the guy who got his hand chopped off by Angstikin? Frozone all the way. It doesn't matter though, as Rev. Sultan gets the most from the fight royalties.


Junkyard: Monkey D. Luffy and Bon Clay versus Doctor Doom and Blackheart versus Mace Windu and Chewbacca versus Nanase and Grace? They also need to avoid harming a furious Bang Shishigami clone army. On pogo sticks. Oh, and they're all chibified. And on fire.

Seiryu: Ooh... tough one. My first instinct is to remove Grace and Nanase from play. Grace's unwillingness to hurt anything without 'VERY'' good cause would put her out of the fight early, and without her, Nanase would not last very long. Granted, Nanase would go Valkyrie/Angel on their asses, but when you're going solo against the embodiment of the Idiot Hero, a hyper-intelligent magic user, and Samuel L Jackson, she'd have long odds to fight against.


Calamity Jane: Optimus Prime versus Darth Vader. Darth would probably be more than crafty enough to get past the size issue. Besides, it's most likely going to be in space, so gravity is optional.
  • More detail on the fight: Darth Vader and Optimus Prime are both fighting upon the rings of Saturn, precariously balancing on the debris. They are armed only with self-amplifying electric guitars, and their picks have both been replaced by bananas. They are both using their respective abilities along with The Power of Rock. Gravity is non existent.

Schizo Technician: I've got to give this one to Optimus. He's got experience rocking out and the dexterity and digit fortitude to do it with no pick, so he can just toss the banana away and rock out in addition to his own abilities. Vader has no experience rocking out, and an ill-fitting suit that can't move too quickly, so he probably can't rock too well. They're too percarious to use close-ranged weapons like Energon axes and lightsabers, so it comes down to Force Push vs. Power Of Rock, and the latter is much more effective, especially given that Optimus can use his axe on any incoming thrown meteoroid.

Mag Flare: I'm calling this one in favor of Vader. Due to the lack of atmosphere, the Power of Rock would be all but nullified; Vader would then proceed to block Prime's shots with one hand while Force-crushing the Autobot's laser core with the other.


Deuxhero: Rob Liefeld from the 90s and ZUN collaborate. What percent of humanity survives the ensuing artwork?

Pykrete: More than one would guess at first glance as long as ZUN handles the conceptual design and writing, which he's actually really good at (it's just getting it on the paper that's his problem). If Liefeld isn't kept on a tight leash though, humanity will be quashed under the ensuing avalanche of pouches and head-sized boobs; the pouches will all explode into danmaku (maybe the boobs will explode too, they certainly look like they could).


Rundas: Liberty Prime vs. Optimus Prime?

windseer:Let's begin with Liberty Prime,he has a wide collection of weapons,very good armor and is big enough to destroy pretty much anything,but he has crippling disadvantages compared to Optimus Prime.Liberty does not have a pretty advanced AI and expends lots of energy,he spends enough energy to almost make him unusable for the army,he would basically go straight and blow and smash everything in a designated path during a hour or so.Optimus is the leader of a army of super inteligent automatons,he could devise plans and traps to stop Liberty,maybe even find weaknesses in Liberty engineering.Also Optimus is much more power efficient.If the match was a direct fight,Optimus would lose,if the fight dragged for a longer period,Optimus wins because of lack of energy and /or would have a tactical plan to execute.


Deuxhero: Suika Ibuki vs. Dionysus

Pykrete: This will inevitably end in Suika X Dionysus. Possibly Suika X Suika X Suika X Suika X Suika X Suika X Suika X Dionysus.


Ragter: Jack, Shepard, & Tali vs. Warden, Sten, & Morrigan. Who would win in this Bioware face down?

Chuckg: The people who have access to guns, and superior crowd control. Blizzard, Mass Paralysis, and Earthquake have way too long casting times, and Cone of Cold and Mind Blast are severely range limited. Jack's Shockwave, however, will send all of Team Dragon Age flying to land flat on their ass, and that gives Shepard more than enough time to use the M-920 Cain. Tali can really just take a vacation here, although her shotgun can blow out a few peoples' guts if she feels the need. Also, one team is wearing futuretech body armor with force fields that are designed to stop energy blasts and pieces of metal flying at hypersonic velocity, and the other side is wearing iron plates (or in Morrigan's case, virtually nothing).


Endark Culi: Carl Clover and Nirvana vs. Elfriede and Lieselotte. Marionette Masters and their sisters-turned-puppets.

Willy Four Eyes: Presuming Liese isn't allowed to use her Arcana, Carl wins.


Deuxhero: Laharl vs. United Alliance of Evil. Solo to balance the fact that Laharl is dropping meteors by midlevels.
Schizo Technician: Demonic throwdown. Mara vs. Mara.
Schizo Technician: Battle of the Crazy Awesome heros who have surfed to earth from outside the atmosphere. President Michael Wilson vs. Doctor McNinja.
Deuxhero: Psycho Mantis is subjected to the sanity effects of Eternal Darkness.

Kaiser 6012: Assuming there has to be a loser, the player. Assuming it's a question of who wins, well...


Darth Cliche: The Greek pantheon vs. the Norse pantheon vs. the Egyptian pantheon (ignoring the fact that the good and evil gods in each pantheon probably wouldn't work together).

Myrryr: Greece and Norse are at a disadvantage as both are a few generations down from Chaos, whereas Ra created himself directly from Chaos. That said, the Norse are definitely more inured in battle experience though the Greek are close behind them. The Egyptian pantheon hasn't had any real foes other than infighting among themselves, whereas the Greek gods fought and beat the Titans and the Norse gods were constantly fighting the Giants and other things (though they eventually die in Ragnarok), so the Egyptians only real chance is Ra and it's a pretty damn good chance considering what he is. Neither of the other two pantheons have a member that can claim to be a Maker. Um... unless you're counting Gaia in the Greek pantheon? Probably should've asked for more definitive rosters sooner...

Pykrete: It'll come down to the Greeks and the Egyptians trying to off one another while just evading the Norse. If one of them goes down, the survivor can just party in whatever inaccessible netherworld they have until the prophesied destruction of the entire Norse pantheon. The Norse catch on to this tactic and say screw it, and just party the whole time anyway. Dionysus sets up a booze-smuggling ring between the two parties.

Ambar Son of Deshar: I think the Greeks win. The Egyptian pantheon, as previously stated, has limited combat experience, and even then (Ra excepted) don't seem to even have abilities that could easily be turned towards combat, or that are on the same level as those of the Greeks and Norse. The Norse probably have the edge over the Greeks in terms of experience, but not by much, and on top of that, the Norse gods are killable. They can die of old age if the tree of life is killed, and can also fall in battle, whereas the Greek gods will, at worst, get injured and retreat, or captured. Not to mention that Zeus, Hades, and Poseidon can all claim to be on par with the King of the Norse Gods, Odin. Thor would probably end up being the only serious threat, and even he's probably outmatched by the three brothers, who more or less overthrew the Titans by themselves if my memory is correct. Basically, I think the Egyptians bow out early, and then you get a very ugly war between the Greeks and Norse, with the Greek pantheon ultimately victorious.

Perzyn: Norse would be the ultimate victors. None of them can fall in the fight with either Egyptian of Greek pantheon because they are destined to die in Ragnarodk and in very specific ways. Thus Fate itself makes it impossible for Aesir to loose at this point.


Doc Astaroth: Kurohime vs Bayonetta vs Amaterasu

All weapons, abilities and powers are available. Additional, let´s say for the maximum of Fanservice Amaterasu is in human form.


Iron Man vs. Megatron.

Schizo Technician: Depends on the Megatron. G1 would win hands down due to his fusion cannon having pretty much the output in one blast that Iron Man's arc reactor does in a day. Robots In Disguise and Unicron Trilogy Megatrons its an unsure thing- the former I dunno, the latter it depends on if he has a powerup or not. Animated would probably win through subterfuge, and Film Megatron loses hands-down due to having much weaker defenses and an unstable personality.

Deuxhero: Dude Metatron is the *** ing VOICE OF GOD. Servant of omnipotent deity>fascist in Power Armor... err wait, Megatron. Isn't he a tank when he huge compared to humans? Megatron swats him like a fly.

Pykrete: Iron Man has the firepower of a small navy ship, greater speed and maneuverability than a supersonic jet, and has been known to soak a tank shell and then blow up the tank in response. It's not quite a Curbstomp Battle or anything. That said, I've gotta hand it to Megatron in most cases.


Medinoc: A pipe race between sergeant Schlock and Davan's cat. No guns allowed.
Willy Four Eyes: Here's one for the Capcom vs. SNK crowd... Juri (Super Street Fighter IV) vs. Kim Kaphwan (Fatal Fury, The King Of Fighters). Both are Korean kick-fighting specialists. She's Chaotic Evil, he's Lawful Good. Who wins when: a) Juri activates her Feng Shui Engine, or b) she doesn't use it?
Dragon Kazooie 89: The Heavy vs. Soda Popinski in a boxing match and both can bring their food/drink of choice into the ring but can only heal themselves with it once per round.

Willy Four Eyes: Sandvich beats "pop".


Deuxhero: Nanoha Takamachi vs. Reimu Hakurei.

Ace Of Scarabs: No matter who wins, Hakurei Shrine is levelled. Again. To console poor Reimu, Nanoha invites her to tea aboard the Artha, and allows her to bring friends (lots of them ) while the rebuilding of the shrine is handled by her colleagues.

Pykrete: The Extra level ends up being Reimu and Nanoha vs. everyone aboard the Artha once Suika shows up and gets all the terrifyingly powerful mages and various youkai sufficiently drunk. Basically picture a barfight with huge lasers and bullets everywhere.


Mara is in Gensokyo and... OK, I feel dirty for suggesting this.

Pykrete: One word. MA Nosuke. That is all.


Tara Gilesbie meets Christian Weston Chandler. What Hilarity Ensues ?

Schizo Technician: They immediately fall deeply in love and get married within days. They produce children who have all of the bad qualities of their parents.

Rothul: Except for the eldest, who is perfectly normal. There's a sitcom here, people.


Willy Four Eyes: It's the Great Memetic Troll-Off! Terumi vs. Tite Kubo vs. 'the Miscreants'. Who wins, and how does the last victim get trolled?

Unknown Troper: Kubo. Regardless of whatever moves Terumi or the Miscreants make, Kubo would have already known ahead of time.


NESH: Johanna Dark vs. James Bond, handguns only.

Deuxhero:Dark hands down. Goldeneye's handguns are not anywhere near as varied as Perfect Dark's and Dark is trained in infiltration combat. In an actual Spy Vs Spy scenario, I'd give it to Bond, as Dark (again) works in infiltration, not actual espionage.


Deuxhero: Les Stroud and Bear Grylls are in a Zombie Apocalypse. Discuss.
Gaunt88: The Reapers invade the Star Wars galaxy (taking into accound that, while they are nearly indestructable, the Reapers won't have their usual advantage of total control of FTL travel).

Schizo Technician: I gotta give this one to the Star Wars galaxy. The average Star Destroyer (Imperial class) is only 400 meters shorter than the average Reaper, but has the firepower to reduce a planet's surface to glass with turbolasers, plasma bolts, and photon torpedos, with advanced force-field protection systems and hyperdrive- and they have larger classes of Star Dreadnought (Soverign, Eclipse, and Executor) that are more than seven, eight, and nine times as long as the Reapers, with firepower and defenses to match. The Reapers, as advanced as they are for where they are, are restricted to projectile weapons and shields that only defend against projectile weapons, plus reliance on vulnerable devices for FTL reducing mobility greatly. The Reapers don't even have the advantage of numbers due to the size of the Imperial and/or Republic fleets. And since they need people inside them to start Indoctrination, they won't get a hold due to nobody staying inside one of those primitive craft for very long- they only appeal to Mass Effect people because of their relative tech level seeming advanced. Besides, with Jedi and Sith, Indoctrination would be detected and nipped in the bud before it got very bad.

  • Quote Marx Are we talking about the same star destroyers here? I remember seeing one lose its bridge to a freaking asteroid in Empire Strikes Back. It was kind of funny, since the imperial officer was on the holo-phone at the time, making this An Aesop about cellphone usage... what were we talking about, again?

Master Hand: A deathmatch in any video game with a competitive multiplayer mode, played by reallyjoel's Dad against Chuck Norris. Who wins?
Deuxhero: Batman is in Vice City. How does he fare against the established criminals of the city?

Rothul: Batman has absolutely no trouble with faceless drug-runners, assassins, and run of the mill scum. It's only when he goes up against the crazies with Joker Immunity that he has problems. Maybe Carcer City would be a better challege for him.


Deuxhero: Because X-com instantly came to mind when I read that all the earths governments were teaming up to stop it. X-Com vs. Strange Journey's demons that have escaped the Schwarzwelt and are attacking the earth. X-Com has the tech from the first alien war (but no Elerium or alien parts) as well as the tech of Schwarzwelt investigation team (Demonica suits and the motherships) but they are expensive.
Cryptosporidium-137 vs. Yoshimitsu. To make things fair, Crypto can't use his mind powers/anything that can eject Yoshimitsu's brain, and can only bring with him 3 guns. The arena is a generic Japanese town.
OK, I have another idea.

All of anime's greatest determinators are challenged to see which one is the most determined of them.

The challenge: Complete I Wanna Be The Guy without destroying the monitor. If they destroy the monitor, they forfeit. They can try as many times as they like, take breaks, blah blah blah, but when it's obvious he/she has given up, they lose. The first person to beat The Guy wins (even if they get killed by the "surprise" at the end of the credits, if you know what I mean). There. I wanna know the top 10 determinators, if you wish to reply. You can post your own opinion in the matter.

The Badinator: [[Berserk Guts]] . Hands down. He's got more wits, more raw, unfettered rage, and more ... well, guts than anybody else, power level not withstanding. To wit, he's a badass normal who actively hunts down physical gods to the extent that they * fear him* .


The Great Pie: Zim, Belkar, and Gollum vs Adell.(assuming that Zim, Belkar and Gollum don't betray each other.)
Deuxhero: Because I just found a fanart of it Akihiko vs. Chie in a fight. Akihiko isn't in the dark hour (and lacks an evoker anyways) and Chie isn't in the TV world, so neither is effected by their Persona.

Awe Striker: Two words - Galactic Punt.


Deuxhero: Travis Touchdown vs. Gene. Whoever the winner, the fight will be Crazy Awesome indeed.

Ein Dose: My money's on Gene. Since Jeane (the Rank 1 fight) was based on Gene (the God Hand), only without the God Hand, and Travis still lost.


Deuxhero: Wriggle Nightbug vs. Dahn Tsukigata vs. Shino Aburame.
Deuxhero:Michelangelo, Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck (the only parts of the cast of Cartoon All Stars To The Rescue that is of a weight class to fight them) vs. Snowflame and Bane.
Deuxhero: Aang gets transported to Britannia and must master the 8 Virtues.

Rothul: Honesty, Compassion, Justice, Honor, and Spirituality are pretty set. He'll had a bit more difficulty with Valor and Humility at the beginning, but get there in the end. Sacrifice is definitely the stickler... Aang was never quite able to accept the sacrifice of the physical realm to unlock his ultimate power, however because it was out of love for Katara... I'll say that he reigns as the Avatar of two worlds.

Britannia, you say?

Kaiser 6012: If we take this a little further and put Aang through most of the rest of the Other Avatar's ordeals, he might just come through in the end, though he would be severely changed by his learning that everything major that has happened in the worlds that had the potential to change things for the worse was all his fault.


Ok, here is one I thought of. The Guy in the Glasses, Linkara, Spoony, Mike, Joel, Tom, Crow, Rifftrax, and all other riffing experts were all challenged by Boll, Seltzer, Friedberg, and all other bad movie directors to survive watching a movie all of them had created. The riffers accept.

Now, the question is this. WHO SHALL PREVAIL?

Ein Dose: Nobody. The riffers finish the movie, and make it bearable, but the movie still exists. Thereby making the world a worse place.

Oh wait, I meant that if the riffers endured the MOST HORRIBLE THING EVER MADE BY THE HANDS OF MAN, the movie explodes. Violently. Taking all the directors with it while keeping the riffers safe. So yeah.


Deuxhero: Ryoga Hibiki is placed in a (enemyless) Daggerfall dungeon. What happens?
  • Six wrong turns later, he's in the wrong game being handed the Amulet of Kings by a dying Uriel Septim, and told to take it to Weynon Priory. Cyrodiil eventually falls to Mehrunes Dagon as Ryoga eventually ends up back in Nerima.

Neep: Building off the Negi vs Fate Testarossa fight I proposed before, the Ala Alba vs Mobile Section 6. Timeline-wise, chapter ~260 for MSN (Negi doesn't have Theodora's contract, his Magia Ereba hasn't started freaking out yet, Setsuna does have her second pactio, Ku and Chachamaru do have pactios), ~2 years after Striker S for MGLN (Nanoha and Vita should be recovered). Match-ups are as follows

  • Negi vs. Nanoha: Negi's small, very fast, and fights barehanded, meaning he's probably going to be dominating Nanoha's personal space and keeping her from slipping away to shoot. On the other hand, she might be able to land a bind on him.
    • Wait, wait... post Striker S Nanoha? Won't her upgraded Barrier Jacket just bounce Negi? Not to mention that Divine/Axel Shooter means that she has homing projectiles, countering Negi's speed advantage while she tanks his shots.
      • Can she tank her own shots? Negi has access to the Ground Array to absorb another person's magic attack into Erebae (even Starlight Breaker feeding off Negi's Titan Spear). Being stronger than Negi isn't all that useful when Negi has the ability to absorb in an enemy's magic for his own. Also if we assume Barrier Jackets are equal defensive power to a Negima Mage's natural barrier... upgraded defense equals out to how strong you are (Negi ignores shots by turning into lightning). Negi might not be as fast as Fate, but Negi is fast enough without sacrificing defensive power. And this is without Negi's partial demon status from after his last training with Scroll Evangeline, add in THAT and Negi's contendership can't be questioned at all.
  • Asuna vs. Subaru: Asuna's Magic Cancel is stated to absolutely negate magic while AM Fs just seem to dampen it, so in Nanoha's setting it's pretty much a Game-Breaker. Subaru is one of the few who would be able to challenge her.
    • Servbot: Seems like Asuna gets slaughtered. Force gave everyone anti Anti-Magic equipment, including Subaru, so her Asuna's Anti-Magic is a non-factor. Subaru's new equipment is called the sword-breaker, which does just that, so Asuna loses her sword the moment she tries to go melee. Asuna is basically reduced to using Kankaho fisticuffs against a full-powered cyborg that tanks anti-tank missiles.
  • Setsuna & Konoka vs. Signum and Shamal: Self-explanatory, really. Two old-fashioned swordswomen and their support mages.
    • Interesting battle. Currently, I give it to Signum since she's used to fighting high-speed opponents, and her defenses is just silly (shrugging off two point-blank full-powered Nanoha attacks in quick succession, including one that destroyed the battlefield). However, a theoretical future Setsuna who has mastered the Zanmaken ni no Tachi to the level that Kurt Godel has would win this, since high-speed long-range attacks that ignores defenses are the bane of Nanoha mages.
  • Nodoka & Yue vs. Teana: Nodoka, recent badassery aside, is not a direct comabatant, so she joins Yue for a Smart Girl match with Tea.
    • Without Nodoka Yue would be in trouble, possibly stuck on defense for the fight. Thankfully Nodoka IS A GAME BREAKER ASSIST. All of Teana's illusory powers will be killed by the fact that Nodoka doesn't need to see her to read her mind, and since its her mind it isn't playing against the illusions. With Nodoka directing and reading Teana's mind, Yue's Mage Knight training would give her easy access to the fight.
    • Teana does actually have a way to win this, if she knows/figures out what Nodoka does. Teana's Device should be capable of running autonomously like all Nanohaverse Devices, and would be immune to Nodoka's mind-reading (In Negima terms, due to her artifact being incapable of mind-reading robots as shown during the festival. In Nanoha terms, because Devices is completely immune to psychics, as shown when Lily tried to telepathically talk to Steed). She could have Cross Mirage in full control of her spells and blind-side Nodoka. Once Nodoka's out, she could then hide away and raze the battlefield with Starlight Breaker.
  • Kotarou vs. Zafira: Okay, the reasoning here is obvious.
  • Kaede vs. Fate: The latter is faster, the former has clones and sneaky ninja tricks. An interesting match.
    • ... faster than Fate in Sonic Form or Sonic Drive? Did I miss something?
      • Yes, you probably missed the meaning of "latter". As in, the second one. Meaning Fate.
  • Haruna & Chachamaru vs. Caro & Erio
  • Ku Fei vs. Vita: Small girls with oversized blunt weaponry, what's not to love?

Aside from a hacking/command and control fight against the Long Arch staff, I really can't think of anything for Chisame and Asakura.


Willy Four Eyes: A battle of the fake Pro Wrestling personalities: Who would win in a shouting match between Angry Jim Ross and Angry Vince McMahon?
Same guy who made the Naruto vs. Ichigo vs Luffy vs Ed fight below.Now, say the four of them were travelling together for some reason, until they saw everyone who they cared about (except for those who became bad guys) trapped within an indestructable box (with air holes, so they can breathe) hanging over a pit of . Between them and the box is an army of robot mooks. How long will it take for them to destroy said army and free everyone in said box?Yes, I know, it's stupid.
No Drogs: Ok, a VS that takes place all in one series' continuity:Civil war has broken out in Ankh Morpork, and it's come down to a battle royale between three sides. Moist's army of Golems from the end of Making Money, Dorfl and the other free golems fighting for Captain Carrot, and Rincewind operating the clay soldiers from Interesting Times. Which side wins and how much damage do they do?

Rothul: Both Moist and Rincewind have too much self-interest to not take off for Quirm as soon as they are put in any personal danger (with a bagful of loot and a Luggage filled with potatoes respectively) whereas Carrot will stick with it to the end, as would any destined hero... Really though, he has no interest in ruling, thus giving up his power to winner and still champ Lord Vetinari. As for the damage, originally, the conflict would level the poorest half of the city, but thanks to the efforts of the history monks and a time-displaced Sam Vimes, ultimately the war manages to limit itself to buildings already scheduled for demolition and the 100 foot deep "wading pool" installed by Bloody Stupid Johnson in Lord Rust's backyard.


Indigo Dingo: Acceptable breaks from reality stealth fight - Solid Snake Vs. Sam Fisher Vs. Agent 47 - but each ones techniques work as they do against in game enemies. 47 is indistinguishable from the crowd (No civilian deaths allowed), the cardboard box is unnoticeable normally, and nobody ever thinks to look up. The objective? A high ranking military officer selling secrets - and the other two assassins sent to kill him.

Deuxhero: Can Snake go for a true no kills run and KO the other two, or does he have to kill them? Anyways, it depends on the setting (Airport, abandoned warehouse, ect)


Mark Hammils Joker Vs. Needles Kane, in Sweet Tooth. Reducing a city to rubble.
Rothul:It's the finals of the World Metal Bending Tournament: Magneto Vs. Toph Vs. Bender Bending Rodríguez. Who proves themselves the master of metallic manipulation?

Deuxhero: Bender Bending Rodriguez requires his hands to do it, so that's a clear disadvantage. Magneto vs the greatest Earthbender in the world depends on Magneto's writer. I have to lean to Magneto because Toph bends the impurities and would likely be screwed over bad if modern metalworking techniques are used to make the "dummies".


Xenus Oregard: Xemnas vs. Emperor Palpatine. Two rounds; the first in Xemnas's weird void final battlefield, the second in the Galactic Senate.

nighttrainfm: Round 1: Xemnas, by virtue of speed, variety of moves and (if he has his Final Boss powerset) the ability to rain laser blades on Palpatine if he gets really annoyed. Round 2: Less clear.


Deuxhero: Stephenie Meyer is embraced by a World Of Darkness vampire clan. What lulz ensue?
Cloudtail 65536: EYRIUS vs Gla DOS.
Deuxhero: Razputin vs. Rasputin

Shaun: Rasputin and Rasputin show up and add their own zombie and vampire powers to the mix.

Specialist290: And then Rasputin shows up, and things just get awkward.


The Other Steve: Avatar vs. Avatar! For some reason or another, Aang is sent to Pandora to try and get the Na'vi and the humans to get along. For backup, he brings along the Gaang post-finale, plus Mai, Ty Lee, Iroh, and an Anti-Hero Azula. When negotiations fail and the battle begins, can the Gaang get them to compromise by virtue of "we have a bigger stick then you do"? And if so, how does it play out?

Nodrog: Since they are on Pandora, I have to give it to the Na'vi. Aang's group has got some serious firepower (Azula alone would count) but all the Na'vi have to do is wait. There has to be a limit to how big an air bubble Aang can hold bring along and hold for his group. Once they've used it up, the atmosphere will get them. Plus, if the Zuko (?sp?), Iroh, or Azula do any fire bending inside the air bubble, they'll use the oxygen faster. Also, even if Aang can get fresh oxygen from Pandora's atmosphere, I doubt he'd be able to keep the bubble going while asleep. Best case: The rock bender (can't remember her name) is able to create an air-tight rock bubble for them to hold the air while Aang sleeps. However, that still means time when they can't fight and the Na'vi can be gathering forces.


iTroper: Killer rabbits! Max versus Bun-Bun. Both have their standard weapons (gun and switchblade respectively) and no help is allowed from anyone. As for battleground... um... Final Destination?

Schizo Technician: I gotta give this one to Bun-Bun. Bun-Bun has gone toe-to-toe with cosmic forces before in person, whereas Sam, as befits a psycho sidekick, only served an assisting role in taking out his nemeses.

Kaiser 6012: Max has a lot going for him apart from his simple pistol - he's nigh indestructable (he can have his face shoved into a circuit board and result in nothing more than a blackened face), the president of the USA and/or possibly posessed by daemons, so it'd be close. Very close.


Coximind: Samus vs Iron Man vs Super Saiyan Goku. BTW, how do you pronounce "Saiyan"?

Rothul: Say-yon.

Coximind: Thank you.

Schizo Technician: So not balanced it isn't even funny. Goku wins in a landslide. Unlike the others, he doesn't need external aid to make planets go boom.

Coximind: Oops.

Kaiser 6012: If we take Goku out of the equation as the definition of "outlier", it'd be Samus by about three microns. Almost every advantage Samus has (Arm cannon, Screw attack, Speed Boost, X-Ray visor, bombs et al) can be matched by Iron Man attack for attack. The only parts where they differ is in mobility - Iron man can fly, but Samus has Spider Ball tech and a Grappling Beam. In the end, I'd probably say that it'd be Stark that loses when he finds out Samus Is a Girl.


iTroper: Ultimate terrifying being battle; SCP-682 versus Cthulhu. Place your bets.

Schizo Technician: Since they're both other to life as we know it, they refuse to harms such a nice guy and have a tea party instead. With human biscuits.

Strife: Cthulhu is already SCP-001, didn't you get the memo?


iTroper: VG Max showdown! Maxwell versus Max versus Maximillain versus Maximillian. If I missed any others, add them to the list.

Schizo Technician: Maxwell.

Deuxhero: Max (his AW1 version anyways)

Willy Four Eyes: What about Maximillian? Or Sir Maximillian? Or Emperor Maximillian?


iTroper: Stitch vs Kat in a no-restrictions fight to the finish. Lilo, Coop and Millie are allowed to interfere as they wish.


Keredis: British Retro Spy-off! John Steed and Emma Peel vs. Simon Templar vs. Number 6, all from their 1960s TV shows. Either they duke it out in a Mêlée à Trois, a spying competition of some sort, a fashion competition, a One-Liner competition, or how well they'd perform in each other's shows.Bonus Points: Include Naked Snake, The Spy, Austin Powers, and/or Sean Connery's incarnation of James Bond.


Ein Dose: A fairly well-established character from Nethack enters a fairly well-established Dwarf Fortress. Who gets out alive?

Medinoc: Does anyone get out alive?

Deuxhero: A "fairly well-established" @ will have a blessed scroll of genocide. Dwarfs are gone in one turn.

  • Phoenix Fire: At which point he gets trapped in the obsidian factory. And if he gets past the magma, water, + enormous steel corkscrews+ , and stone fall traps, the Dobie Cannon goes off. After finally shaking off the last of the vicious puppies, he continues on his way to the treasure to get that masterpiece adamantine plate mail... and triggers the fortress's self-destruct mechanism that collapses the support keeping the Hidden Fun Stuff in. I believe the correct phrase here is "You will be kill by demons." So no, no one gets out alive.

Mike Maltani: EVA Unit 02 or Atlas (Primary Configuration)? If it seems one-sided, fine, I'll rethink that.

  • EVA has an extreme size advantage.


The Badinator: Superman versus the Silver Surfer. Discuss.

The Other Steve: Too even to call. It's a tie.

Chuckg: Actually, no. The Silver Surfer could molecularly transmute nearby rocks to kryptonite, just fire kryptonite-frequency radiation, or use his energy absorption to pull the stored yellow solar energy out of Superman's cells while simultaneously flooding the zone with red solar energy. And Superman, in return, could... try to punch a guy who no-sells planetbuster attacks. (And given the Surfer's cosmic awareness, even if he doesn't start out with any knowledge of Superman's vulnerabilities, a few seconds of studying the dude's molecular structure and energy patterns will give him a basic rundown.)

The Badinator: All in all, I think I agree that the Surfer has the advantage overall, but I don't think it would be quite that easy. I'd say Supes has a definite edge in speed, and if we're talking about Silver Age Superman, it's at least an even fight, Power Cosmic or no. The Surfer probably comes out on top, but if there's anything 70+ years of Superman should have taught us, it's that having access to a hero's Achilles' Heel is not an instant-win scenario.

Chuckg: Silver Age Superman is much more iffy, yes — he can be shut down in one move (red sun rays), but he can likewise KO the Surfer in one hit, so it all comes down to who wins the coin flip. My analysis was using the current iteration of Superman. Who, BTW, the Surfer smokes — Supes' speed tops out at slightly below lightspeed, while the Surfer easily goes high FTL. All he has to do is adopt a "Parthian shot" strategy, and fall back at just slightly higher than Supes' top speed on the straightaway while spamming Kryptonite and energy drain attacks. You have to be the Runner of the Elders of the Universe before you start having enough superspeed to blitz the Silver Surfer enough to where he can't lay in a single hit, and Post-Crisis Supes is nowhere remotely that fast. As for the Determinator... well, all the determination in the world avails you nothing if the opponent is Genre Savvy enough to just keep kicking you after you go down, instead of stopping and gloating. And I tend to approach 'Who Would Win' scenarios from the viewpoint of "Let's throw out all the usual Plot Induced Stupidity cliches and actually have them fight with their brains."

Myrryr: Even Silver-Age Supes would have difficulty KO'ing the Surfer with a single punch. On the Surfers older comics (before his recent upgrade from Galactus) he's mostly immune to physical force, eating punches from Hulk and other Bricks commonly with no adverse effect at all. The one time he's been really harmed by punches has been from Thanos. As for speed, "high FTL" isn't much of a description for someone who crossed several lightyears in less than a second (A lightyear being 5,865,696,000,000 miles, give or take due to differential measurements of a year.) Oh, and Surfer has "potentially unlimited physical strength" as well. Go-go Power Cosmic.

Chuckg: Silver Age Supes has physical strength well in excess of Thanos (he casually juggles planets, while Thanos is demonstrably below the planet-busting-with-a-punch level), so, he still gets the KO if he can land the hit. Current Supes is, as already conceded, hopelessly boned.


iTroper: Who would win in an intimidation contest? The Advertisement Server or our great and glorious leader the Hypnotoad? (Be careful! The great leader does not take kindly to those who doubt him. No, wait! Don't make me kill myself, plea- * dead'd* )

The Advertisement Server: PLEASE. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY GAMES OF FROGGER I'VE PLAYED? AND BY THAT, I MEAN, AS THE CARS? I'D BE SERVING GLaDOS SOME CUISSES DE GRENOUILLE WITHIN THIRTY MINUTES.

Coximind: ALL HAIL THE ADVERTISEMENT SERVER!


On The Other Handle: Raven, Blackfire, Mai, Azula, Trinity, Valerie and Catwoman. Which Dark Action Girl would win? (We're assuming that everyone is sane and alive for the purposes of this battle.)

Schizo Technician: Yulia Tymoshenko, in a surprise upset.

Melloncollie: Short of a Reality Warper character, Raven has the greatest raw power. If she really lets go and there is no Plot-Induced Stupidity, that is.

Stabby Joe: Oh please, all the raw power in the world can't save you from some who doesn't believe tranformation isn't a free action


Melloncollie: Ichi vs. The Rail Tracer, Kakihara vs. Ladd Russo.


Feo Takahari: People seem to be getting sick of the Red Hulks, so the moment Jeph Loeb stops writing them, they're probably going down hard. The original is probably going to be the one to do it, but they're much more powerful than he is, so he'll need help. On the other hand, the Reds aren't really worthy of a Crisis Crossover, so it'll probably be just a few of the best heroes fighting alongside him. Who do you think deserves the honor? (And don't mention Squirrel Girl unless you really want to humiliate the duo, although they might deserve it at this point.)
  • The Other Steve: Rick Jones for Red Hulk, and Elektra and Domino for Red She-Hulk. Admittedly, they're a bit out of her league, but it's only fitting seeing how badly RSH humiliated them,

Coximind: Chuck Norris vs. Chuck Norris. Can The Man defeat himself?

Deuxhero: Yes


They Killed Fritz: {{V|For V|endetta}} vs. The Visitors.


Feo Takahari: For whatever reason, The Flash is in Shibuya just before Week 2 of The World Ends With You, and he gets himself killed. He finds himself stuck in the Reapers' Game, but since he doesn't speak Japanese he can't partner with anyone. Through his failed attempts to communicate and find out what's going on, he manages to accidentally piss off Sho Minamoto on the first day, so what time Sho doesn't spend trying to erase Neku in the next seven days, he spends trying to erase Flash. Can he survive long enough for Neku to beat Sho, or is the fastest man in the universe too zetta slow? (And yes, this entire concept came from that one joke.)

Deuxhero: Flash doesn't need to play defensive. Only Psychs require a partner and, unlike Neku, The Flash has other methods of combat. He is a bit screwed if he encounters some Taboo noise (lacking a light puck, it isn't even Gameplay and Story Segregation it's why only Kariya and Uzuk, who have a light puck, can deal with them) though.


Viperhawk Z: Average Pre-Clone Wars Jedi vs. Protoss Dark Templar. Alternatively, New Republic + Terrans and/or Protoss vs. the Zerg + Yuuzhan Vong.

Hydra 4: Presuming you're talking about your run-of-the-mill DT, Jedi will win hands down. The only real advantage the Dark Templar have is their invisibility. The Jedi are specifically trained to fight without the aid of vision. At that point it becomes a flat-out energy blade duel, which Jedi have years of experience in and D Ts don't. Advantage: Jedi.


Master Hand: Okay, this is a weird one, but hear me out. Iji vs. Charles Barkley. I know that most people pair Iji up against Quote in this kind of thing, but Barkley's a better match in my opinion because both games are RP Gs or have heavy RPG Elements, and both take place in post-apocalyptic scenarios. We'll assume that Iji has maxed-out health, all weapons, and is not a pacifist, while Barkley has learned all shots and can Double Dribble the Hell B-Ball and Shimmerglobe, but in the interests of balance may not use the Chaos Dunk. That being said, who wins?

Awe Striker: Iji, in an absolute curbstomp. Her personal nanofield blocks pretty much anything that isn't a Nanoweapon.

Master Hand: Okay, I'll give you that, but supposing Barkely could hurt her, how would it go?


DKN 117: Battle of the Gravity Masters: Albireo Imma vs. Deva Path of Pain (without the other five bodies supporting him).

Also: a sparring match, with swords affected by a spell to deal non-lethal damage, so the two fighters can go all out in a test of sword skill without worrying about killing the other: Killer-B vs. Setsuna Sakurazaki. No flying; no Tailed-Beast Cloak. Just pure swordsmanship.


Deuxhero: Shouhei Narumi vs {{Ed|Ed|dNEd|dy}} over buttered toast. Before this is declared an instant win in favor of the guy that can lift a house, remember that Narumi infltrates a base full of demons (that he can't see or hear) and super soilders with mearly a pistol at one point.
Deuxhero: Roy fight! Roy of Pherae vs. Roy Mustang vs. Roy GreenHilt (Campbell is excluded for obvious weight class reasons).

Coximind: No Roy?

Deuxhero: Oh, forgot Greenhilt, throw him in too (though I'm not sure what a single class non-tripping fighter can do against either of the two, though he could be a charger)

Coximind: Oh, I'm putting my money on Fire Emblem Roy, but what would I know?

Phoenix Fire: Anime or manga Colonel Mustang? Because if it's end-of-the-manga Roy Mustang, we may have a fiery, burning curbstomp on our hands.


Deuxhero: In the same nature of the above, fire alchemist fight! Roy Mustang vs. Jenna. Take note that Jenna's outfit does not have a "tiny" miniskirt.

Schizo Technician: If Jenna gets her collection of djinn, she wins hands-down. If not, I dunno.

Pykrete: Also depends on when in the game we are. At level 5, she was able to drop a crowd of burly, armed men without breaking a sweat, but probably wouldn't be able to handle Roy. Late on, Jenna's idea of what to do without djinn backing her up is Dragon Fume or Searing Beam. * Yes, I know none of her base class's attacks scale.

windseer: Well,Let's not forget that Roy doesn't follow the usual RPG rules.While Jenna will still be charging her spell,Roy will already be snapping his fingers.


Major Tom: Quote and Curly Brace against the combined power of Captain Price and Soap MacTavish. Place bets now!

Deuxhero: Do the Modern Warfare guys take down crazed Nintendo Hard I Can Not Self Terminate Magicians? Don't they fight "realistic" threats? Quote and Curly Brace are the clear winners.


Sosuke Aizen vs the entire casts of Dragonball Z, Yu Yu Hakusho, One Piece and Naruto. Can the ultimate Villain Sue win against these odds?

Coximind: Now, even the best players are occasionally beaten by a good Zerg Rush. Now imagine, if you will, a Zerg Rush consisting entirely of Super Saiyans and many, many different equivalents.

All things considered, I think everyone else wins.

Schizo Technician: Except Aizen, and whoever is the janitor at the location they're fighting in.

Phoenix Fire: Unless he can release his shikai first. In that case, he's going to sit nearby and eat popcorn while manipulating them all into murdering each other.


Deuxhero: On the same note (though less onesided) as Cain vs. Edward (look down), Buffy vs. Edward

Rothul: Buffy has a history of not being able to kill angsty and lovelorn vampires with both stalkerish tendencies and wooden acting, even when it is in hers and everyone else's best interest to do so. Edward lives to suck another day.

Schizo Technician: But not before she inadvertently seduces and sleeps with him, the other part of what she tends to do with the angsty types. Feeling extremely ashamed about themselves, they swear never to speak of it again and Edward leaves town, giving the Hellmouth(s) a wide birth from then on to avoid his wife finding out about the affair.

Phoenix Fire: I guess you guys didn't see the video footage.


In a battle of patriotism, who would win? Bandit Keith or Stephen Colbert?

Schizo Technician: Colbert, since he's patriotic for his actual country rather than one adjacent to it.

Keredis: How can you have a battle of patriotism without including MICHAEL Wilson, President of the Great United States of America?

Kaiser 6012: Or, in the same vein as Keredis, how can you talk without your president, John Henry Eden wanting to have a chat?


A five-way contest for "Best Evil Overlord / Big Bad", between Precia Testarossa, Jail Scaglietti, Orochimaru, P{{a|Goda|mI}}in, and Madara Uchiha. Categories (listed in ascending order) are:

RAW POWER: This Troper's opinion: Jail (never really fought; let his minions do so in his stead) < Orochimaru (packs a hell of a punch, and can survive damn near anything, but doesn't seem to possess any landscape-destroyingly powerful techniques) < Precia (if at full, not-dying-from-illness power; official stats put her almost at Hayate's level of magical destruction) < Madara (current state) < Pain (can annihilate a city in one shot and hold his own in close / one-on-one combat) < Madara (if his plan to restore himself to his "full power" succeeds)

EVIL ACCOMPLISHMENTS: This Troper's opinion: Precia (didn't really pull anything extraordinary off; horribly tortured her daughter) < Jail (his troops gave the TSAB a thrashing, and his plan with the Saint's Cradle would've allowed him to hold an entire planet hostage; not to mention brainwashing Ginga and torturing Vivio) < Pain (led his side of a civil war to victory and slaughtered every single person even remotely connected to the losing side; public leader of the Akatsuki, leader of the Rain Village; came up with complex plot; annihilated the Leaf Village) < Madara (fought the 1st Hokage; sicced the Nine-Tailed Fox Daemon on Konoha; helped in the Uchiha Massacre; possible instigator of the Mist Village's "Bloody Mist" era, either as Mizukage or through his genjutsu-controlled puppet, the 4th Mizukage; turned Sasuke into a Complete Monster) < Orochimaru (conducted horrifying and almost-100% fatal experiments on hundreds of innocent people, including infants; conquered a country almost single-handedly, and founded his own in its place; coerced countless people into devoted followers, while thinking of them as mere disposable pawns; conducted experiments on himself in an effort to achieve immortality, to the point where he isn't really human anymore; killed and impersonated the 4th Kazekage, leading a joint Sand/Sound invasion that crippled the Leaf and killed the 3rd Hokage; turned Sasuke evil; Grand Theft Me, which he makes as creepy as it can be)

DRAMATIC FIRST APPEARANCE: My opinion: Pain (no real drama in his first pop-up) < Jail (fairly nice, but nothing extraordinary) < Precia (while Precia's first showing, where she was ruthlessly torturing Fate, was genuinely horrifying, it wasn't quite awe-inspiringly dramatic) < Orochimaru (OHKO-ed Naruto, whooped Sasuke's ass, and branded Sasuke with a Cursed Seal; effortlessly shrugged off everything Sasuke hit him with; began his tempting of Sasuke right off the bat) < Madara (dramatic darkness, howling wind, crashing thunder and flashing lightning, reveal of a Sharingan, Ominous Latin Chanting (complete with pipe organ), out of left field for first-time viewers who assumed Pain was the Big Bad, epic little speech)

THEME SONG (what sounds the most epic and/or Evil Overlord-ish): My opinion: Precia's Theme < Jail's Theme < Orochimaru's Theme < Pain and Madara's Theme

What order would you all place them, and for what reasons? What other categories can you think of? Who would win in a direct free-for-all fight? If this whole thing is better suited for somewhere else on the site, please move it there and post where it's been moved to; DON'T just delete it, please.


pagad: An Emperor-class battleship vs. the Super Star Destroyer.

Pykrete: Emperor-class if their scanners, targeting, and positioning are even worth mentioning. A Super Star Destroyer has an exposed bridge and shield generators — a starship's equivalent of going into pro wrestling with a vice prepositioned around one's testicles.

Medinoc: Plus, in a pinch, 40k ships are reinforced for ramming enemies. To my knowledge, Star Wars ships are not.


Medinoc: Revya vs. Khorne. Or maybe Gig vs. Khorne.

Deuxhero: With or without Gig (passive as far as the game goes) for Revya? Remember that Gig's "soulmate" gig+ summoning is why Revya can do what she does.

Medinoc: With, I guess. And I forgot one battle: The titular giants vs. the Chaos legion (post-heresy but pre-betrayal).

Willy Four Eyes: The World Eaters win. Everybody else loses.


Battle of the Pidgeon Holed Voice Actor:Shana vs. Nagi vs. Taiga vs. all the rest I can't remember.Shana gets no weapons for obvouis reasons.

Schizo Technician: Nagi. screw the rules, she has more money than god, and with bribery, robots, and a pet tiger, knows how to use it. And she can summon Hayate if push comes to shove. It doesn't matter if he's in another dimension dead and locked inside a metal box, he will suddenly appear if she calls his name.


Nodrog: Mal's crew (Firefly/Serenity) goes against Nate's crew (Leverage) to see which one can pull off a scam/heist. Which would win? How would River react to Parker? (I'll be in my bunk). How many seconds does it take for Eliot to put Jayne unconscious? How does Inara and Sophie get along? (Again, I'll be in my bunk). And of course, how well do Mal and Nate themselves get along?

Oh, and yes, I do know such a challenge would require time or dimension travel.

Shaun: Mal's crew will win based on having more interesting toys (which doesn't extend to computers so far as we see, oddly enough) and transportation that will take them farther afield in search of loot.


Deuxhero: Link vs. Link vs. Link vs. Link vs. Link vs. Crono vs. Raidou Kuzunoha the 14th vs. Gordon Freeman vs. Revya (No Gig) vs. Red ... in a speaking contest!

DOTMW: All are defeated by Red; Pokemon Master of Silence.

Deuxhero: Forgot Red, not sure how he wins though (at least Raidou has alignment choices, the Links get the occsional combat choice/dialoge option and Revya has the incantations, Red's lines are all "yes" "no" or "...")

The Strom Lord: Crono talks in one of the Multiple Endings, so he's out.

Rothul: Then most of the modern Links are out too... guy can't stop yelling HYEAH! HEYAH! OHWAH! HYEAH!

Xenus Oregard: Wait... Since this is a speaking contest, wouldn't that mean that the Links and Crono have an edge instead?


River from Serenity/Firefly vs Wolverine, in a cage match, River staring out with several sharp pointy objects. Loser is the first to lose consciousness, even if not dead. Which wins?

Oh, and River can't just fall unconscious to avoid fighting. While I think that's something she might do, it's not allowed.

Deuxhero: "lose consciousness" may need a deinition for Wolverine.

Chuckg: How's about "Is rendered incapable of moving or fighting effectively for a full sixty seconds?" Not that it really matters, given that even River with melee weapons simply doesn't have the damage output to either KO, TKO, or otherwise incapacitate Logan past his ability to keep moving.

Shaun: Ahem. Wolverine is bigger and stronger, true, but are we forgetting River's special conditioning? As we have seen, she has incredible endurance, so she could conceivably outlast him.

Chuckg: River, beating Mr. Healing Factor on endurance? Um, not likely. Wolverine's not only got a damage soak that flat-out trivializes anything River's maximum strength can deliver (yes, even a battle-axe to the face), she can't even hope to play the attrition battle and wear him down gradually with nicks and guts, due to him regenerating.


Coximind: Acid reflux against common cold?

Rothul: A couple of Nexiums, and you're back to the jalopeno bar. Science still hasn't taken out the common cold, despite years of it's best efforts. The Cold takes it, then buys everyone a round of Nyquiladas.


All of the Chessmasters fight each other in a game of skill and wits. Which one would prove to be the best at the incredibly comlicated planmaking business?

Ein Dose: It takes eight years, and six faked deaths, but victory goes to Revolver Ocelot, who tricked everyone into killing each other.

Awe Striker: Actually, it takes only slightly longer than that, once Nessiah kills Ocelot by virtue of the fact that the former can't die.

Kaiser 6012: Though nobody knows that this all goes just as [[Discworld Lord Vetinari]] wanted it to go, while everything that has happened and will happen, regardless of the "free will" of all involved will be factored into and used by Chzo. Victory goes to the pain elemental.


Candy Entrails: Kefka Palazzo vs. The Joker. Who can slaughter more victims in the course of a week?

Mirrinus: As great a villain as the Joker is, World-of-Ruin Kefka has him beat in sheer scale. Joker might be able to slaughter an entire city, but Kefka has already blown up an entire planet just for giggles. Now, if this were Wo B Kefka, things would be a lot more even. I might give Joker the edge there.

Rothul: In a pure, uninterfered killing spree over any given time, Kefka takes it. However, I think it's worth noting that the Joker has much more staying power once those pesky heroes inevitably involved: a dozen or so pure-hearted individuals were able to take out Kefka pretty easily the first time (albeit by spamming Ultima), whereas the entirety of the Justice League still can't seem to lock up Mr. J for more than a fortnight. In the end, the World of Ruin gangs of the future won't naming themselves Kefkaz.


Rothul: Professor Layton Vs. Robert Langdon. Who could escape the isle of Myst first?

Feo Takahari: Well, Langdon usually gets his facts wrong, so he might screw up and get himself hurt or killed in a universe where he's not the main character. Also, Layton's the one who deals with Myst-style logic puzzles more often—Langdon more often needs to know some obscure fact.


Dante and her Homunculi from the first Full Metal Alchemist Anime vs Father and his Homunculi from the Full Metal Alchemist manga and second anime.

The Other Steve: The anime Homunculi can't really be killed without their remains (which I assume are not there), but I assume that they can be subdued or ground into a fine paste. (I'm not that familiar with the first anime, if someone could double-check this for me that would be tops.) Again, assuming this is one-on-one:

Father vs Dante: Not even a contest. Dante is a crafty old woman. Father is a homunculus with godlike powers, even without the One-Winged Angel. Dante is down.

Lust vs Lust: Manga Lust, just based on how hard it was to bring her down.

Gluttony vs Gluttony: Anime Gluttony, for being the last survivor.

Envy vs Envy: Manga Envy has some bad Clipped Winged Angel going on. Anime wins.

Greed vs Greed: Manga wins by a hair, due to the Ling body-switch making it a 2-on-1 fight.

Sloth vs Sloth: Draw. Both are too resilient to hurt each other, and Manga is too stupid and lazy to try something other then punching.

Wrath vs Wrath: Tough one. I'll say Manga Wrath. Anime Wrath has alchemy, but not a lot of experience.

Pride vs Pride: Again, tough one. Manga would likely be affected by Anime's appearance, but Manga Pride is more or less invincible. I'll call this a draw.

  • Ambar Son of Deshar: Gotta disagree with the last one. Anime Bradley didn't demonstrate anything close to the power of Manga Bradley, who Manga Pride is more powerful than. Also, Pride's cold enough to kill anyone who attacks him, no matter who they look like. And Wrath vs Wrath is done in two seconds. The ultimate Bad Ass with Implausible Fencing Powers vs an angsty kid? Bradley wins. Let's face it: if Scar nearly died fighting him after he'd been weakened, I think he owns Wrath. By the way, why not toss in Kimblee vs Kimblee? I think the manga version wins.

tennessean: Georgia vs. Georgia. The loser has to change its name, and the winner gets to decide what that name is.

Yarrunmace: Can US Georgia get the Senate to call in some backup?

Rothul: Then Georgia country should be allowed to call in some Warsaw Pact favors. We've already seen that one done.


Yarrunmace: Memetic Badass Brawl! Squirrel Girl vs. Chuck Norris vs. Saxton Hale vs. Mr T vs. Wolverine vs. Batman (with 2 hours prep time) vs. Alan Moore vs. Segata Sanshiro vs. Ciaphas Cain, Protector of the Imperium. They are all at full strength, written as Mary Sue-ish as possible, and every positive fact ever said about them that doesn't contradict another one is true. Also, the battlefield is Final Destination, (no one can use Fox), and the battlefield cannot self-destruct from the sheer awesome of the combatants.

Schizo Technician: Squirrel Girl, of course. While the other's main superpower is either "being awesome" or "able to beat anyone", SG's superpower is more or less "can defeat anyone who by all rights should be able to defeat her". She beats them all off-panel.

Chuckg: True, but Batman's main superpower is not just "being awesome" but "one step ahead of EVERYONE", so while Squirrel Girl wins the brawl, she only does so in a manner that furthers Batman's long-term objective, whatever it happens to be at the time. He then also reveals that the guy wearing his costume during the brawl was actually Nightwing standing in for him while he was busy setting up his win off-screen. Well, either that or he just channels the unstoppable power of Adam West and whips out a can of Bat-Anti-Female-Opponent Spray. After all, Squirrel Girl's upsets are historically against those who take comics too seriously, and Adam West Batman cannot be accused of this.

The Great Pie: (Originally from a WMG.} Chuck Norris reveals that he is Squirrel Girl's father. Then they kick the asses of everyone else and go eat nuts together. But it was revealed that it was all part of Batman's plan to resurrect himself by making the ultimate Take That! against "Stop Having Fun" Guys comic book fans and Badass incarnate realize their father-daughter relationship.


Neep: Dual-wielding Heroic Sociopath face-off: Belkar Bitterleaf vs. Revy.

Coximind: One the one hand, Revy has guns. One the other, Belkar is a SEXY SHOELESS God of War!!.

Chuckg: But on the third hand, Belkar is bringing a knife to a gun fight, which means that he is defeated by the power of tropes.

  • Neep: Shenhua uses knives and is close to Revy's equal, and Ginji nearly won against her with his 1337 kendo skills. If we use either Black Lagoon (which runs off Rule of Cool) or Dungeons and Dragons (in which guns are pretty crummy rules-wise) as the setting, using knives isn't much of a disadvantage. However, I'd still bet on Revy.
    • Chuckg: The operative words in the above argument are "close to", "nearly", and "disadvantage". Advantage: Revy.

Coximind: Unless I'm mistaken, Revy is basically an Angst Gun. Belkar is not as short on ego to back himself up with. Also, Belkar is short (hehe) and provides a smaller target than Revy would. Finally, let's not forget his Ring of Jumping + 20. His jumping is not short.

Shaun: Revy. Why? Because the world would just be less awesome without her.


Within the Void of Nothingness, Chuck Norris, Mr. T, Samuel L. Jackson, Patrick Stewart, and Bruce Lee face off. Who would win?

They Killed Fritz: Bruce Lee wins due to being the only person in that group who actually moved too fast to be depictable on film, as well as being arguably one of the greatest martial artists of the twentieth century. Chuck Norris gets second place - he fought Bruce Lee in a movie at one point and actually managed to land a punch on Lee once, so he'd put up more of a fight than anyone else.

Shaun: Jack Bauer wins. He's not even there, but he wins anyway.


They Killed Fritz: Burt from Tremors vs. a massive horde of zombies (numbering, say, just shy of a hundred thousand). Assume he has access to everything in the town of Perfection (including that awesome bunker he has in the TV series) and a month to prepare his defense. The zombies are the slow, shambling type, and can either be killed immediately by headshot or slowly via cumulative damage to other body parts. Who would win, and just how many smoking zombie corpses would end up strewn about the town?

Shaun: Burt wins. If a bunch of civilians with no skills, training, or preparation can survive a Zombie Apocalypse, it ought to be a cakewalk for Burt...


Yarrunmace: 19th Century Brawl! Steampunk!Lincoln vs. Giuseppe Garibaldi with dual revolvers and sheer awesome vs. Otto von Bismarck with miniguns and missiles and sheer awesome vs. Teddy Roosevelt with his bare hands, sheer awesome, and sheer awesome. Who wins?

Schizo Technician: Roosevelt, of course. All the bullets and missiles either bounce off or only pierce the first layer of skin.


Medinoc: Samus vs. Jim vs. Arthur. Who gets stripped first?

Pykrete: Arthur, as he loses said clothes on the first hit, and both his opponents have firearms with high rates of fire and no reloading. Also, does Jim's head-whip count as losing his clothes, because...he's sorta pulled out of them but he goes right back in...

Medinoc: Really? From what I remembered of Ghouls N Ghosts, he lost his armor on the second-to-last hit... (but starts the game with 2HP, which is the same until you upgrade).


Doc Astaroth: Kenpachi vs. Whitebeard vs. Raikage vs. Jack Rakan vs. Bang vs. Rider... Mhm, did I forget someone? Well, he or she is invited to join the mayhem, too.

Schizo Technician: As Crazy Awesome as all the others are, unless we're including someone from DBZ in this, I've got to give this to Jack "can be honestly mistaken for a tactical nuclear strike" Rakan.

Coximind: Let's include Full Power Freiza (he's the strongest I can think of off the top of my head) just for giggles.

Big B: Switch Freiza with Kid Buu. But either way, Rakan wins by a landslide, him and his SKYSCRAPER SIZED SWORD.


berr: Hawkeye vs. Bill The Butcher vs. Daniel Plainview.

Bill the Butcher will organize the fight as follows:

"Weapons? Knives, axes, brickbats, swords, etc. are allowed. Pistols?"

"Only flintlock muskets and revolvers."

"Good Boy. Very well then, We'll have a good dust-up. ON MY CHALLENGE!

BY THE ANCIENT LAWS OF COMBAT, we are met on this chosen ground,

to settle FER GOOD AN'ALL who holds sway over Daniel Day-Lewis!"

Deuxhero: The Lady of Pain vs. Cain. "You lose" meets "You lose".
  • One of these two had the final supplement of his game line (Gehenna) explicitly define, in the rules mechanics and not just the flavor text, 10-dot Disciplines as "plot device power". The other entity is the Lady of Pain. Winner: Caine.
  • I'm sorry, WHAT?! Lady of Pain is "you lose" to GO Ds. GODS. In the plural to boot. Not only that she is capable of destorying someone who cannot stay dead. Cain is simply a super duper vampire, I doubt hes even a match for a DND god, never mind someone the gods fear.
    • Then it's just a matter of what the sevenfold curse would do to her. Oh, and I'm pretty sure Caine can ascend to godhood in D&D universe, it's not that hard. He has stats of "Yes", meaning he has everything you'll mention (except maybe some really new stuff from the 19th century onwards or so), and he is a bit older than some, of the D&D deities. Certainly older than Vecna, who happens to be the only one that seriously challenged the Lady of Pain.
      But in the end I'd say Caine dies, because that's what he wants to do, it's just that it isn't allowed.

pagad: M 1 A 2 Abrams vs. Challenger II. Military buffs, start your engines!
Candy Entrails: Dante vs. War, both at maximum power. They might be in completely different weight classes, but hey, why not?

  • They Killed Fritz: Uh, because one of them is a Renaissance author and the other is one of the horsemen of the Apocalypse? While the resulting battle would certainly be hilarious, I definitely have to give this to the one who's the personification of all violence and conflict. The pen is only mightier than the sword when you're not having to engage in an actual face-to-face fight.

  • Schizo Technician: I think he means Dante from the video game, not the book.

  • Indigo Dingo: Tough call. Dante kills one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse just to get his main weapon, but there's no doubt War would be that much better a fighter than Death. Are there puzzles included in the contest?

  • Sevenheadedmirror: Dante either way. If we talk about the video-game Dante beats up The Devil. If we talk about the character in the novel vs. the Horseman, he still wins: The man, though a mere human, got a free tour through Heaven, Hell and Purgatory, saw Lucifer and interviewed God. He can pull some strings.

Coximind: Assuming he was in any 'verse EXCEPT DBZ, what would it take to make Kid Buu a halfway decent person?

Schizo Technician: Ghost Rider's Penance Stare?

Pykrete: Yotsuba.

Coximind: Penance Stare maybe. That's an awful lot in Kid Buu's case. But then again, Kid Buu arguably doesn't have a soul. Also, in his mind, that's not sinful or even inconvenient in the slightest; it'd be like discovering that going to the grocery store could send you to Hell. Yotsuba I don't buy for a moment. He'd probably react the same as he would to nearly anything else.

windseer: Sorry Coximind, but kid buu does have a soul, otherwise there wouldn't be any Uub at the end of the series for Goku to train.

The Strom Lord: Being Tvtropes, I must say the Nanohaverse. Defeat Equals Friendship.

Coximind: What's Nanohaverse? I'll buy Defeat Equals Friendship though.


Chabal 2: Not so much Who Would Win (Villain Sue vs Butt-Monkey? Please), but who's eviller? Richard or Black Mage? (actually, Ruler-of-Hell Black Mage might have a chance against Richard...

Coximind: I only know enough about Richard as one can garner from the page you linked, but Black Mage wins hands down, ultra-evil or not. His signature spell siphons love out of the universe. He made a pair of shoes from a newborn infant. Without killing it first.

Kaiser 6012: Whereas Richard taught a group of Ewoks a victory dance that involved the desecrated corpses of his fallen foes (which they proceeded to do with the corpses when their side lost, much to Richard's delight), has a defined policy of "skeletonize first while still alive, ask questions never" and gave the metaphorical finger to Hell when they dared suggest that he should pay for not being evil enough. Richard wins in that he's slightly more believable with his evil than BM.


Deuxhero: Cain vs. Edward. Just how badly and via what method does Edward get his ass handed to him?

  • They Killed Fritz: Dude, it's Cain. He wouldn't bother with a direct confrontation. Instead, he'd spend decades or centuries masterfully manipulating the entire world in an overly elaborate and absolutely awesome scheme that would result in the slow and agonizing destruction of anything and everything Edward Cullen knows, loves, and cares for, bringing him as low as it's possible for an individual to be before finally crushing him like an insect.

Schizo Technician: Dude, have you seen how emo Edward is already? The slowest you could draw out that kind of agony for Edward is maybe two weeks, tops.

Chuckg: Since Twivamps are not Wo D vamps and thus their curse isn't declared irreversible by Almighty God, Cain just whips out some Chimerstry 10 reality warping. "Edward Cullen, you are yet again mortal." Watching the Sparkling One have to deal with losing, well, every single defining personality characteristic and/or potentially interesting quality he even remotely came close to having, that'll be good for a soul-crushing experience that lasts literally one mortal lifetime. * eg*


pagad: The Saint of Killers vs. Superman. I'd like to see such a fight. Can Supes knock the Saint's guns out of his hands before he fires? Is he even quick enough?

Rothul: It's sort of an unstoppable force vs. immovable object kind of thing: The Saint explicitly has the power to shoot and kill anything, and one of Superman's top powers is his Immune to Bullets thing. Presuming Saint loads his bullets up with Kryptonite before hand, I think he takes it.

Neep: What, seriously? Superman is canonically weak to magic. The Saint's guns are made from the sword of the Angel of Death, they're undoubtedly supernatural, and if they can kill God and Satan they can sure as hell kill Superman. Factor in the fact that the Saint was unruffled by a nuke to the face and realize that it is an entirely one-sided battle.

Rothul: Really, it all depends what version of Superman it is. If it's the Pre-Crisis version that was known to beat up entire suns, at least three Pantheon's Gods and Devils, and whose skill set was essentially "whatever I need to win", then Supes takes it easy. The comparatively puny post-crisis Superman, by contrast goes down easy. And, because it's a Garth Ennis production, with a disturbing sexual subtext.

Chuckg: Let's not forget the superspeed factor — the Saint has to actually hit Superman, and that's going to be hard to do vs. a guy who can zig-zag around your bullet like its standing still. While the Saint has actually shown a superfast draw in the comics, he hasn't shown that his bullets are instantaneous hitscan weapons.

pagad: But that's rendered moot by the fact that the Saint's guns never miss what they're aimed at. Supes can dodge all he likes, they're still going to hit him.

Chuckg: You know what else never misses what its aimed at? Darkseid's Omega Effect. But it still travels at finite speed, so Supes can and has played the game of "Sure, its going to keep coming straight at me no matter how I dodge. But I've moved so that you happen to be standing directly between me and the oncoming projectile, so, guess who eats it first." The problem with infallible homing projectiles is that if the target is faster than the projectile, he can lead it around on a string wherever he feels like. Such as into your face.


Angström: Iorek Byrnison versus Crying Wolf. Somewhere suitably cold.
They Killed Fritz: In keeping with my earlier theme of 'protagonist of original vs. protagonist of sequel':The Hacker vs Goggles, full endgame inventories. Yes, Goggles is a trained soldier, but the Hacker has very large testicles, so he should at least have some chance.
Canonier: Mary Poppins vs. Peter Pan.

No Drog: At first glance, the match would seem pretty evenly matced, or with a slight edge to Peter Pan.

Both have assisted flight capabiloity, Peter relying on pixie dust and Mary Poppins on her umbrella. Both have access to travel to an alternate realm... Peter to Never Never Land, Poppins to the chalk-picture world. Peter Pan is able to sword fight at close to Captain Hook's level, while Mary Poppins has no known weapon skill.

HOWEVER... that analysis overlooks the personalities between the contestants. Peter Pan is the boy who never grows up. Mary Poppins is the nanny who is 'practically perfect in every way'. Given Peter's search for a mother figure, it shouldn't take Mary Poppins long to get him and the Lost Boys cleaning up, going to bed at regular times, and doing their homework. She'd probably give those pirates a 'Good talking to' and have Captain Hook eatiing out of her hand. Even Tinkerbell, once she realizes that Mary Poppins has no romantic designs on Peter, would proably go along with the Poppins Plan.

In summary: Mary Poppins for the win, and Never Never Land is never the same again.

  • They Killed Fritz wants to see this made into a film.
  • Me too... hey! let's start a petition!


Deuxhero: Posted this before, but it got overlooked badly Naoki Kashima/The Hito-Shura (Nocturne stats, no Gaea Rage as soon as the battle starts) vs Neku. Each is allowed one ally. Battlefield is the post-conception scramble.


Deuxhero:Elizabeth, The Hito-Shura, Baal, uber badger spirit, Dullahan, Demogorgon, Ocean Palace Lavos and any other stupid hard bonus boss I forgot fight it out. Who wins?

Pykrete:

  • Lavos will get stomped — it's no longer fighting player characters that it can down in two volleys, and bosses tend to be immune to its various stat screwage. It's essentially reduced to spamming the same nukes as everyone else but having few other tricks available.
  • Unless the others catch on and focus fire, Dullahan will outlast the majority of the group by True Colliding all of them at once and repeatedly healing itself to full, shifting elements to optimally withstand the nukes flying around. If they DO catch on, they'll find he's probably one of the Glassest Cannons present and he'll go down quite fast.

Deuxhero: I guess Elizabeth vs Hito-Shura would depend on if uber megidolon or gaea rage can trigger/be avoided.

Schizo Technician: Baal. Definitely baal. He is so rediculously broken it isn't even funny. He's a fully leveled disgaea character. For a reminder of perspective, the protagonists of the disgaea hit the level at which they can beat the other contestants between levels fifty and seventy (laharl, for instance, reaches planetbuster levels of power when he learns his meteor-dropping attack, well before level 100). They don't even approach being able to even damage Baal until level seven thousand. In a series with No Fourth Wall, no less, so Statistically Speaking isn't just a gameplay artifact. These guys may be movers and shakers in their own worlds, but against Baal? Notsomuch. Anything not of late-series Dragon Ball Z levels of power is as a gnat before Baal.


They Killed Fritz: Jack versus Subject Delta, with full endgame inventories.

Additionally, SHODAN versus Frank Fontaine in an ultimate showdown of Magnificent Bastardy - who would come out on top?

Candy Entrails: I'm going with Subject Delta. It's been stated by the creators that if Jack were thrown into Delta's situation, he wouldn't have survived.


Completely regardless of literary merit, who would win in a fistfight: Miguel de Cervantes or Ernest Hemingway, the two manliest writers in history?

Schizo Technician: Cervantes. He is a zombie pirate, after all.

Dragonkazooie 89: Okay, now I want to see that Cervantes take on LeChuck


An Illuminated Umbermensench (insane Nazi Mad Scientist that gains more power by torturing people) with prep time and full access to his/her/its labrotory fights a True Fae (lovecraftian Mary Sue that's probably ten times worse than I probably think it is) at roughly equal footing. When the dust clears, who should we be pitying more?
A Random Serf: All-Link free-for-all in Hyrule Field, with endgame inventories. Different games count as different Links (so no combining Chateau Romani with Nayru's Love, for instance).

My predictions: Link would use the Stone Mask to stay hidden until the worst of the magic had stopped flying. Only Link and Link would be able to see him, the former would be more concerned with taking advantage of Nayru's Love to out-fight Link, and the latter would be curbstomped by the more powerful Links on the field. Link would slaughter most of his 2D brethren, getting the highest kill count before being tag-teamed by whoever was still standing when he ran out of magic and Silver Arrows. Once the field had thinned and magic-users waned, a Chateau Romani-powered Link would put on the Fierce Deity's Mask and start spamming beams. Link now has the advantage in sword technique, enabling him to take out Link, but he loses the advantage in endurance and sheer damage output against Fierce Deity Link, thanks to using up magic at the start of the fight.

Kaiser 6012: I think you sell a couple of Links short - TP Link has unquestioningly superior CQC skills and the best ranged weapon in the series with Bomb Arrows, as well as being able to use the Magic Armor to outlast Oo T Link's Nayru's Love. Ltt P Link would be a fearsome opponent thanks to the sheer absurdity that is the Magic Boomerang and would just scour the field with Bombos or Ether to flush out his opponents, in particular the armored Links, cel-shaded Links and MM Link (just because he's invisible doesn't mean he doesn't freeze or burn). Four Sword Link would be an issue, but once they get separated they would be just as powerful as Ltt P. I'd say that, in the end, it'd come down to a sorely weakened Oni Link and TP Link, and in such an instance TP Link would be the victor - we just know that the battle would be defined by who wielded the Master Sword best and that is TP's domain, beam spam (blockable, no doubt) or no.

RWB: It is more likely to come down to WW and TP than anything- none of the other Link's can match their durability(espescially WW Link, who eats pointblank explosions and stays conscious in the actual story, as well as surviving a force of roughly half a million tons when thrown by the Helmaroc King), and TP Link is the physically strongest Link there is. TP Link then loses to the much more durable and far better equipped WW Link.


Nodrog : A battle between one of Agatha Hetrodyne's mini-clanks (Girl Genius) vs a Dig-bot (Sluggy Freelance). Bonus points if it the battle is in the form of a philosophy debate, where the judge is a xeno-chiclet from www.faans.com. (All three communicate in picture symbols)
Roxas: Navi vs. Tinkerbell.

Endark Culi: Tinkerbell seems to be able to recover from most deadly circumstances by someone believing in faries. Navi must think that faries exist, as she IS a fairy. Ergo, Tinkerbell wins.

The Other Steve: Wait, is there an actual person somewhere talking about how much he believes in faries at the time of the fight?

Seiryu: Navi wins by annoying Tink into committing suicide.


maninahat: A fencing match featuring d'Artagnan vs. Edmond Dantes vs. Inigo Montoya. Inigo can use which ever hand he feels like.
insert_name_here92: Actual combat: Revy vs. Spike Spiegel.And in a manipulation war: Johan Liebert vs. Lelouch Lamperouge.

Drakyndra: For the second, if we take Geass out of the picture, I'd have to give it Johan. For all Lelouch's tactical genius, he's got an enormous flaw in that he tends to get excessively emotionally involved. And when he's emotional, he can do some really dumb things. Johan is a lot more detached, and has a lot less that he actually cares about; all he needs to do is hit upon one of Lelouch's soft spots (Nunnally, his friends, his parental issues, etc.) and Lelouch is screwed.


{{$peedbump}}: AVGN in full armor, Solid Snake, Super Mecha Death Christ and Nu-13 vs. The entire cast of That Guy with the Glasses, Santa Christ, Gordon Freeman and a bunch of Metal Gear.
Batman Vs. Darth Vader.

Kaiser 6012: Batman by virtue of EMP scrambling Darth Vader's life support system. In actual combat, Batman would have a bit more trouble but he'd still win.

nighttrainfm: My first instinct is Vader: even if he doesn't just telekinetically crush Batman's windpipe from a distance, I can't see batarangs and a grappling hook beating a lightsaber. If we include the Batmobile, Batplane or the Powered Armor from The Batman, Bruce's odds improve, but that leads to arguing over how much of their resources either character can bring to the fight.


Xifihas: Travis Touchdown Vs Jack Cayman. Three rounds
  • Round One: Battle with mooks from both games spawning constantly and attacking both fighters.
  • Round Two: Motorcycle Jousting
  • Round Three: One on One Fight.

Kaiser 6012: Mook fight goes to Jack. Travis is great at one-on-one fights but, barring his darkside powers he has little tools to bring to bear in a mook-out. Jack wins round 1.Round 2 has the chunky, afterburner-equipped, GIANT MECHA-FUSABLE Travis win by virtue of it's surprisingly agile bulk.Round 3 is where things get interesting. Travis would probably win,but not without several instances where that chainsaw gets frighteningly close to his face.

End winner: Travis Touchdown by a slim margain, though Jack would definitely be within the top 3 ranking Assassins.


Blug 592 : Queen vs. Led Zeppelin Power of Rock

Kaiser 6012: Queen wins by bringing the Rock Opera into play.

Be: Difficult, but I go for Zeppelin. Solely based on rockage and showmanship - i.e. not acccounting for things like songwriting, production and so on - the only one-on-one battle Queen win is Freddie Mercury over Robert Plant. You could charitably say John Paul Jones and John Deacon are about even, but John Bonham bests Roger Taylor and Jimmy Page smokes Brian May.


bobknudsen Settle this one before it tears apart my family: Batman vs. Magneto

Rothul: Have to call it a draw, but an increidlby specific kind of draw, since I'm in Writing for the Trade mode: Issues #1-2: Magneto comes to Gotham, Batman comes across newcomer tearing apart downtown and attempts to stop him, but since there's too much metal in the utility belt, gadgets and Batmobile, Batman gets knocked unconcious by a high-speed flying can of shark-repellant and Mags makes his escape from the empty building. Issues #3-4: Batman comes back with a new completely-plastic array of gadgets, and having the almighty prep-time, tracks Magento to Gotham harbor and engages in a battle that leaves the master of Magnet immobile in a mass of quick-drying ultra-hard plasticine foam. Issue #5-6: On the way to deliver him to Arkham, Batman realizes that Magneto's helmet had been tampered with Mad Hatter-technology, driving him temporarily insanely destructive. Magneto reveals the only reason he was on the scene was to uncover an anti-mutant terrorist group in the area that was planning to use a Depopulation Bomb on an upcoming Gotham Mutant rally. The two team up, find the bomb (as well as the group's unprovable connections to William Stryker and CADMUS), defuse it, and publically expose the group's plans.

Kaiser 6012: What we can garner from this scenario is that, once again, Batman wins with enough time to prepare. The only reason it's a draw is because there was an ulterior force acting upon Magneto that forced them together. Were it a true matchup, Magneto would be in a crystal cell in Arkham by now.

Ambar Son of Deshar: Only if he survives the first encounter though. And that's assuming Magneto doesn't just fly up in the air and start dropping cars on him the second time.


Krayorik Okay, Goku from around the Frieza arc Vs. The Incredible Hulk. Ready... Fight!

Kaiser 6012: Good thing you specified a time, otherwise it'd be a wash. In this case, I'd say the Hulk still has the win, if only because of the fact that he's invulnerable and Goku is not.


Thunderflame: [[Portal G La DOS]] vs. Kryten: Who preforms the best in a Turning Test?
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