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Webcomic / Precocious

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Most of the main and recurring cast.

"Where cognitive dissonance thrives! Cute furry little animal children will lead us into chaos!"

Precocious is a Furry Webcomic by Christopher J. "Chrispy" Paulsen that stars a rather large group of "superintelligent" children who live in two separate neighborhoods, and who just happen to be anthropomorphic canines and felines. The main characters are known for being completely (but lovably) insane in one way or another. Not very serious, but very funny, the comic is about those children/mad scientists in their everyday lives.

The comic is presently on indefinite hiatus.

Read it here.


  • Big, Screwed-Up Family: The Et clan. Every member of the Et's extended family seems to be either a kook, a crook, a thrill-seeker, a mad scientist, or just a bit touched in the head. And each branch of the family has their own dysfunctions:
    • Gene and Sky Et are barely able to keep their five kids under control, frequently failing, their oldest daughter Tiffany is "artistically destructive" at the best of times and might be a serial killer. Gene spending most of his time at work playing video games while Sky is left to manage things at home doesn't help.
    • Joseph Oven's mother is an Et so his family counts. Joseph and Sydney frequently leave their son Bud at home by himself for days on end while Joe is working on his "projects" in their absurdly spacious basement and Sydney is managing apartments in the city. Bud has suggested he gets groceries through mob connections but claims to be used to it. While older daughter Casey voices her hatred for their house every time she has to come home from college.
    • Aunt Bernie (Gene's sister) is half-Con Artist and half-Stage Mom who drags her daughters all over the country on her crazy schemes for fame and fortune, and to keep a step ahead of the law.
    • The Et family elders are treated like the Illuminati by the junior clan members, and it's not unreasonable to believe they actually are.
    • And even more Ets appear during the family reunion. Including the vaguely menacing Lesser-Ets, an uncle who lives in a stolen delivery van, an aunt who runs an herbal supplement scam, and Aunt Freya (Joseph's sister) who claims to have orchestrated the whole chaotic mess like she orchestrates coups in South America, but is still outclassed by her mother.
  • Blackmail:
    • Autumn has huge binders full of blackmail material. For each and every person she knows.
    • Ms. Monster has some too, apparently.
  • Bob from Accounting: Few realize that in addition to his years of accounting expertise, Bob is also a talented movie critic.
  • Body Paint: The comic has one of these somehow. Except that when the model, Sydney Oven, arrived, the painter, her future husband, used her as the BRUSH. Her opinion? 'How many other families are able to hang a nude portrait of the mother over the dinner table and get away with it?' Said to...the parents of her son's classmates.
  • Both Sides Have a Point: The conflict where the kids staged a revolt in the school to be able to unionize can be viewed this way. Ms. Monster's been largely holding her ground against it because compromising her authority would dampen her ability to teach, as well as the fact that her students resulted in escalating their revolt to a chaotic riot with little regard for the damage they're causing makes it difficult to justify letting them unionize. On the other hand, the kids have tried more diplomatic forms a protest and they were left merely ignored with no tangible results, so the kids weren't wrong to think the escalation was the only option they had to stop the school faculty from ignoring them and actually agree to negotiate on the matter.
  • Brick Joke:
  • B-Movie: Or if you're assigning letter grades, F- movie. Bud finds a late night T.V. program called "$100 budget horror film theater", which is showing "Psychic Death Aquarium". Chrispy explains in the comments, "The movie consists of a static shot of an aquarium, with people constantly walking up behind it, looking weird, clutching their heads and falling over. The soundtrack is a really slow version of Yakity Sax."
  • Burger Fool: A parody of Wendy's called "Wendigo's" which has a fanged and red-eyed mascot.
  • By the Lights of Their Eyes:
  • Call-Back:
    • The Weekend at Bernie's story has a high concentration of these.
  • The Calls Are Coming from Inside the House: Referenced.
  • Calvinball:
  • Card-Carrying Villain: Most of the children who even play as the Super Villain Union, but a special mention goes to Dionne, who even freely admits her selfishness and evil intentions in a debate for class president.
  • Cats Are Magic: It's only one character, but Yvette makes a lot of what appear to be voodoo dolls of her classmates.
  • Cats Are Mean: Well, not particularly. Though it's probably no coincidence that the three nicest Gemstone kids are dogs (well, two dogs and a wolf), while Dionne (said to have no soul) is a cheetah.
  • Cat Smile:
    • On occasion the feline kids will do a rather menacing one.
    • Tiff, Bud, and Autumn (despite being a fox) here.
  • Character Alignment: There is a chart, (made by an In-Universe character).
  • Children Are Innocent: Averted. Most of the children in the main cast are each evil in their own special ways. Special mentions go to Autumn (who uses this trope to her advantage; she even wears a schoolgirl outfit in order to heighten people's perception of her innocence) and Dionne (who takes great pleasure in crushing the souls of others due to her lack of one).
    • Perhaps even more telling is its treatment of the children who aren't evil. Jacob is a sweet, caring young boy who is so kind and selfless that his being selfish or mean for a change has been a punchline unto itself and there was even an arc about it. He's the strip's resident Butt-Monkey, who is constantly hurt and never really treated with respect. Max is even nicer. He seems oblivious to the existence of bad or evil in the world. He's considered kind of strange by the rest of the kids, and although respected for his abilities, he's also frequently manipulated by the others or resented for the consequences of his Incorruptible Pure Pureness. The moral of the story? Children are evil, and those who aren't will end up used or mistreated by those who are.
    • Jacob's become more and more like his friends as time's gone on. He's still rarely the instigator of the evil schemes, but he's proven more than happy to take part in the planning of the group's immoral activities. The newest member of the class, Ursula Xane, is even more of a straight example than Max, having been raised in isolation by parents who have carefully controlled her knowledge of the outside world. She's so innocent that in one Copper Road strip, she actually believes Fox News Channel's claim of being "fair and balanced."
  • Commuting on a Bus: Xander transferred to a private school, but still appears in the comic just about as often as he did before.
  • Companion Cube: The On-Cue Ball, which is like a Magic 8-Ball...but talks! And makes fun of everyone! It even burps!
  • Cool and Unusual Punishment: Tiff's parents send her to the box o' shame after Kaitlyn's party. It back fires to some extent, though.
  • Crappy Carnival: The comic has the kids putting one on for their school's "Fall Festival" fundraiser. Being the way they are, they naturally set it up to con the goers out of their money.
  • Creator Career Self-Deprecation: Kaitlyn wants to be a cartoonist. Everyone else tells her it's a terrible idea.
    Wen: So I thought you were supposed to be smart.
    Kaitlyn: Cartoonists are smart. They're just not rational.
  • Curse Cut Short:
    On-Cue Ball: All signs point to I don't give a—
    Shii-An Hu: KAITLYN!!
  • Deep Sleep:
  • Deliberately Cute Child: Autumn uses a schoolgirl uniform to try to invoke this in others. Dionne is also said to do this when enrolled a beauty pageant; off the clock, she prefers her throne of bones.
  • Don't You Dare Pity Me!: Autumn violently rebuffs Max when he attempts to turn his extravagant birthday party into an actual pity party for her.
  • Donut Mess with a Cop: When the Sapphire kids start a coffee shop Bud starts freaking out when he sees a bunch of cops out in front.
  • Doomy Dooms of Doom: Muffins of doom, their inverse appears to be cupcakes of bliss.
  • Drinking Game: In-Universe. "With a little bit of creativity, anything can be turned into a drinking game!" so sayeth the On-Cue Ball.
  • Embarrassing Last Name:
    • Joseph Oven considers his original last name of "Brungster" to be one, so he Took the Wife's Name. His sister turns out to have taken things a step further and changed her first and middle names as well, from "Tanya Brungster" to "Freya Moon Dancer DiVanir".
    • Aunt Bernie considers "Et" to be one, combined with her first name at least. "Bernadette Et" sounds like a stutter, "Bernie Et" just sounds like her first name, and "Bern Et" is too much like an invitation to pyromania for her family. Her first marriage was allegedly for the sole purpose of changing her name.
  • Especially Zoidberg: The comic has one about sharing information on Noodle Incidents:
    Dad: Hey, Kids! Rule #17: "Always check with your parents before sharing any family stories!"
    Kid: Even the Orlando one?
    Dad: Especially Orlando!! ...And you shouldn't know about Orlando!
  • Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: Why Bud's plan to destroy the Turquoise Lake summer camp falls apart. It hinged on the campers acting like the Gemstone kids.
  • Evil Lawyer Joke: Candy enjoys making these jokes about herself, in her second appearance alone she claimed she works best without a soul. Another time her wife (who was smoking something hand-rolled) claimed that she breaks more laws daily than she does.
  • Exact Words:
    • Autumn offers to wash the dishes. She did not say anything about washing pots, pans, silverware...
    • Later, Bette orders the kids to run one mile(approximately), but forgets to specify they do it in the designated track. As the other kids dash away, Max notes that they are following directions... approximately.
  • Expressive Ears: Many characters, but of the main characters Autumn's "mood ears" are the most versatile.
  • Facepalm:
  • Fearful Symmetry: A few strips' worth during the Gender War. Broken rather decisively, though.
  • Female Feline, Male Mutt: Downplayed. Of the kids who make up the main cast, female cats outnumber the males, and male dogs outnumber the females.
  • Flanderization: Inverted (sort of). Most of the minor characters are introduced pre-Flanderized. Played straight, however, for Shii Ann Hu. Mentioned by trope name in the alt-text for strip 237.
  • For the Evulz: Dionne's impetus to do pretty much anything. Example. Not that the Gemstone Estates kids usually cite any other reason..
  • Foul Cafeteria Food: Poppinstock Academy has only slightly better than standard cafeteria food, with most of it in the form of cubes. The kids once used the vegetables as substitutes in a drinking game.
  • Fourth-Wall Portrait: Done in the name of caricature in this strip.
  • Free-Range Children: The comic has the Sapphire Lake kids (and on occasion others) wandering around the neighbourhood, and in one arc they go downtown. Tiffany's thoughts? 'I was told lowlifes and villains hang out here [the corner of Cruelty Ave and Evil Rd]. But it's only us! Where are they?'
  • Full-Name Ultimatum: The comic has a full arc about full-name ultimatums: The names of several kids are revealed, then some try to invoke the trope to learn more middle names...
  • Funny Animal: The whole cast, but only felines and canines (including vulpines).
  • Funny Background Event: In the "The Protest" story, Tiffany is found in both the "down with Jacob" and the "Team Jacob" groups.
  • Fun with Acronyms: Time Advancement Device Associated With A Relative Position. T.A.D.A.W.A.R.P.
  • Furry Confusion:
    • One of the many reasons Chrispy made all the characters either cats or dogs was to avert this.
    • The comments for 'Normal Clothes' raises this point; when Principal Blessure decides to dress up as Cruella DeVil it was theorized that in the Precocious world that the movie is about a woman who kidnaps children (of a specific race) in order to skin them and wear their pelts. In the real world, family movie; In a furry world, horror movie.
  • Furry Lens: Brought up in the alt-text here.
  • Furry Reminder: Suzzete wears a dog collar with a bell. She also beats up Jacob using only her tail, just to prove it was strong enough to be used like a third leg.
  • Gender Equals Breed: Inverted. Bud is a Scottish fold like his mother, while his older sister is a white American shorthair like their dad.
  • Generation Xerox: Autumn is fighting a losing battle not to become one.
  • Genius Bonus: Gene and Sky's combined password for the tool shed uses military code words to spell "No! Stop!"
  • Gentle Giant: Bud's dad Joseph.
  • Girls Have Cooties: A comic-within-the-comic Subverts this, C.O.O.T.E.E.S. means Camera Outfitted Observational Trackers Embedded Espionage Systems.note 
  • Glowing Eyes of Doom:
    • Bud and Tiff during Autumn's paranoid delusion about their museum trip. Tiffany again after consuming an entire pot of coffee.
    • The attic minis do this. They're white at first but turn red when their creepyness gets to higher levels.
  • Grounded Forever: The Sapphire Lake kids' antics usually get Autumn grounded for eternity, though after a few days or weeks her parents usually open to negotiations.
  • Guest Strip:
  • Hands-Off Parenting: Bud's parents. His dad spends all his time in the basement working on art and hydroponics, while his mom is always in the city managing the apartment complexes she owns. As a result Bud is a much better cook than either of them. It gets to the point where Autumn even forgets at one point that he even has parents.
  • Hard Head: You must have a pretty hard head
  • Helicopter Parents: Ursula's parents, who basically raised her in an opaque, home-schooled bubble.
  • He Who Must Not Be Seen:
    • In the main comic, Vincent was formerly given this treatment. He appears more often in voting incentives and in the Copper Road strip.
    • Also, the Rights, the Hus' neighbors (mentioned only as another Who's on First? gag).
  • Home Sweet Home: Escaping appointments
  • Hurricane of Puns: Occurs whenever Kaitlyn Hu (or anyone in her family) appears in the comic. Typically, Chrispy channels Abbott and Costello for these jokes. Lampshaded in this Copper Road strip.
  • I Know You Know I Know: Autumn's plan.
  • Impact Silhouette: Following a blizzard, Jacob goes outside to make a snow angel and sinks out of view.
  • Incorruptible Pure Pureness: Despite having been in the same class as them for who knows how long, Max still has trouble understanding that the Sapphire Lake crew don't like being good sports.
  • The Ingenue: Ursula, due to her terminally sheltered upbringing.
  • Insane Troll Logic:
  • Insult Backfire: The comic features the inevitable student council election, narrowing down to Roddy versus Dionne. Roddy starts describing Dionne as 'a soulless beast with malicious intentions!' Dionne's rebuttal? A happy "It's true!".
  • In the Blood:
    • The Pingos are often joked to reproduce by cloning. As they all look similar and are great at library science.
    • Joseph, Casey, and Bud Oven are all dangerously creative scientists.
    • Yvette's two moms are a Granola Girl and an Amoral Attorney. She has a lot more in common with her birth mother, the hippie.
  • Is This Thing Still On?: Ursula manages to accidentally combine this trope with Quote Mining here.