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Season One
1: Zale Indigo Ravenheart
"How quickly can this be done? I don’t have much time. I leave planet Earth tonight."
A cult leader comes to the Amelia Project, unwilling to go through with his movement's big ceremony.
A cult leader comes to the Amelia Project, unwilling to go through with his movement's big ceremony.
- Counter-Earth: Ravenheart's cult is built around the belief in a Counter-Earth called Antithon, where everything is the same as the real one but reversed.
- Cult: The client, Zale Indigo Ravenheart, is the leader of one.
- Human Cannonball: Ravenheart's cult is about to stage a ceremony where he is sent to Antithon by being shot out of a cannon. Needless to say, he's not looking forward to it.
- Real After All: The ending hints that Antithon may actually be real, showing the Interviewer coming to Ravenheart for help in faking his death so he won't have to try to go to Earth.
2: Alicia Cairn
"Hello. It’s Alicia Cairn. Yes, THE Alicia Cairn. Whatever the hell that means."
A popular YouTube personality is suffering from an identity crisis, as well as a trademark problem.
A popular YouTube personality is suffering from an identity crisis, as well as a trademark problem.
- The Ending Changes Everything: The Interviewer calls his niece, Lorraine, and, telling her about his meeting with Alicia, realizes that he was talking to Stacey Jones all along, and the brain transfer will have some unintentional results.
- Trademark Favorite Food: Alicia Cairn is said to love Empress Grey tea with a slice of lemon.
3: Elizabeth Barlow
"Do you mind if I smoke?"
After catching her husband cheating on her, a rich heiress wants to fake her own death and get back at him in the process.
After catching her husband cheating on her, a rich heiress wants to fake her own death and get back at him in the process.
- Woman Scorned: Mrs. Barlow really has it in for her cheating husband and wants to use her new identity to ruin his life.
4: Nathaniel McBride
"What do you want? Who are you?"
An eccentric MI-5 agent breaks into the Amelia office, planning to blow the lid off a massive conspiracy.
An eccentric MI-5 agent breaks into the Amelia office, planning to blow the lid off a massive conspiracy.
- The Conspiracy: McBride says he needs to fake his death because he knows too much about a vast conspiracy, and if his employers find out, they will ruin his life to discredit him.
5: SIIRI
"Your answerphone message is paradoxical. Please answer this question: If there is no phone call, how could I hear the message?"
An android has gotten fed up with her creator, and wants to escape to a life of her own.
An android has gotten fed up with her creator, and wants to escape to a life of her own.
- A.I. Is a Crapshoot: After getting her freedom, SIIRI tries to take over the world and wipe out humanity.
- From Nobody to Nightmare: SIIRI says she began as an ordinary Frogger game, but goes on to threaten all of humanity after faking her destruction.
6: Steve Laurence Stroud
"I've messed up. Big time. There has to be a way out... And you're going to help me find it..."
A man already believed to be dead needs the Amelia Project's help to enter a new life.
A man already believed to be dead needs the Amelia Project's help to enter a new life.
- Romancing the Widow: Stroud plans to come back as someone more like his wife's type than he is and start a relationship with her again.
7: Bob
"There are thirty one million people waiting for me."
The Interviewer gets visited by a famous comedian who has lost his gift.
The Interviewer gets visited by a famous comedian who has lost his gift.
- O.O.C. Is Serious Business: In the prologue episode, "Water", the Interviewer is so down in the dumps that when offered cocoa, he just asks for a glass of water instead, signalling to Alvina that the situation is serious.
8: Luke Dougal
"He opened the bottomless pit, and there arose a smoke out of the pit, as the smoke of a great furnace, and the sun and the air were darkened by the smoke."
A professionally morbid theme park designer has gotten into a dispute with a business partner.
A professionally morbid theme park designer has gotten into a dispute with a business partner.
- Amusement Park of Doom: Downplayed; the Hell theme park is designed to be horrific and was even built around the rusty remains of an old one, but while some attractions revolve around death and fear, they won't actually kill anyone using them.
- Nightmare Fetishist: Luke loves all things horrific, having designed Hell to be a theme park for people who want to be scared and disgusted.
- No OSHA Compliance: The Hell theme park toes the line, featuring a haunted hotel where actors scare guests and attractions where visitors can try out methods of execution that are rigged to be safe.
- Recruitment by Rescue: Luke gets to pay for his disappearance by going to work for the Amelia Project because of his great imagination.
9: Percy
"They're following my every move. They’re listening to every word I say. Every. Single. Word."
The Interviewer's client is aware that he's a fictional character, and wants out of the podcast.
The Interviewer's client is aware that he's a fictional character, and wants out of the podcast.
- Author Powers: The writers of the episode mess with Percy by having him drink cocoa with added sugar, making it disguistingly sweet, and make him stand on one leg and sing "La Marseillaise".
- Foreshadowing: In the intro episode, the Interviewer finds a copy of Six Characters in Search of an Author, a play about a group of fictional characters trying to fit into a stage play, very much like Percy's situation.
- The Generic Guy: Percy's big frustration with his existence is his lack of a personality or distinctive backstory; he laments that he hasn't even been given a surname.
- Rage Against the Author: Percy spends much of the episode lamenting how badly the writers have defined him.
10: Melissa Menken
"Coincidence is the word we use when we can't see the levers and pulleys."
A mentalist with certain abilities sits down with the Interviewer. Again, and again, and again.
A mentalist with certain abilities sits down with the Interviewer. Again, and again, and again.
- Anachronic Order: The episode jumps backwards and forwards in time between the Interviewer meeting Melissa for the first time, agreeing to take her case and everything in between as she uses her powers depending on what happens.
- Call-Back: The company CEO whose death Melissa profited from was the head of SIIRI Industries, the robot of which appeared in Episode 5.
- Did Not Think This Through: Using her time travel powers, Melissa bought some stocks in a company she knew would rise in value because of the unpredictable death of the CEO of its competitor. This made those stocks go up in value, but the timing made her look very suspicious, and too much time has passed for her to be able to undo her actions.
- Fatal Flaw: For Melissa, her constant need to win, for which she keeps using her powers to get an advantage. Her stock market dealings were done because she got annoyed by a date who talked up a company and she saw an opportunity to make money from the rise of its competition.
- The Hermit: Melissa wants to start her new life in Antarctica because the quiet, unchanging surroundings will mean she won't feel a need to use her powers.
- Magicians Are Wizards: Melissa uses her time travel powers to work as a mentalist, going back and forth in time to correct her guesses about people in the audience.
- Time Master: Melissa has limited powers of time travel, being able to travel backwards and forwards in her own timeline but only an hour in either direction at most.
11: Tara & Lily
"Take the 4:20am from Paddington and bring matches, a compass, carabiner hooks and Maltesers."
After committing a daring heist on Buckingham Palace, a pair of master thieves need to disappear.
After committing a daring heist on Buckingham Palace, a pair of master thieves need to disappear.
- Ambiguously Gay: Tara and Lily are extremely close and wish to retire and live together in luxury, but it's unclear if they're Heterosexual Life-Partners or an Outlaw Couple.
- Doing It for the Art: In-Universe. Tara and Lily have a code against committing thefts for monetary gain; rather, they plan heists designed to be incredibly elaborate and difficult, seeing them more like works of art.
- Wham Episode: The Amelia Project's interview recordings are stolen by Tara and Lily and given to MI-5, who start investigating the organization for the many crimes they have committed.
Specials
12: Percy Part 2
"Are you sitting comfortably?"
The self-aware podcast character Percy returns, and wants help from the Interviewer to find a story where he can be a character.
The self-aware podcast character Percy returns, and wants help from the Interviewer to find a story where he can be a character.
- Crossover: The Interviewer takes Percy to various other podcasts in the Fable & Folly Network, including Alba Salix, Royal Physician and Victoriocity.
- Sequel Episode: To Episode 9, "Percy"; the character's journey to find a good story for himself continues and expands to other audio drama podcasts.
13: Klaus
"If I'm not out of here by Christmas... I'll be dead."
Near the North Pole, the Interviewer meets with a very bitter Santa Claus desperate for a career change.
Near the North Pole, the Interviewer meets with a very bitter Santa Claus desperate for a career change.
- Straight Gay: Klaus has a husband (Mrs. Claus is just an actress), but exhibits no typical gay stereotypes.
Season Two
14: Venerio
"That I am willing to leave the lagoon to meet you, demonstrates how desperate I am."
Cole and Haines listen to the Interviewer's meeting with a masked man who wanted to escape the death he had predicted for himself.
Cole and Haines listen to the Interviewer's meeting with a masked man who wanted to escape the death he had predicted for himself.
- Prophecy Twist: When meeting with the fortune teller, Cole's friend at the stag party was told that he would live to be 120. He was elated upon hearing this, walked into traffic without thinking to look and was hit by a bus. He survived, but was almost completely paralyzed, only able to move his eyes and eyelids.
15: The Rejects
"There's a tape here marked 'NOT AMELIA MATERIAL'."
Cole and Haines come across a tape with the Amelia Project's reject pile.
Cole and Haines come across a tape with the Amelia Project's reject pile.
- Vignette Episode: The episode consists of three interviews with potential clients who were rejected by the Interviewer.
16: The Italians
"You'll be sleeping with the fishes."
Cole and Haines learn how the Amelia Project's Italian henchmen came to work for them.
Cole and Haines learn how the Amelia Project's Italian henchmen came to work for them.
- Origins Episode: For Joey and Salvatore. The episode tells their past (previously described broadly in Episode 4, "Nathaniel McBride") and how they came to join the Amelia Project.
17: Bartholomew BEEP-face Chucklepants Knucklecracker
"At Amelia we’ve always wanted to get into politics."
The leader of a political joke party comes to the Amelia Project upon finding himself in way over his head.
The leader of a political joke party comes to the Amelia Project upon finding himself in way over his head.
- Cryptic Background Reference: Cole and Haines are apparently all alone in the MI-5 office, with Haines saying everyone else is busy with something called "Operation Crackpot". After they listen to the tape, it turns out to be a plan to assassinate Chucklepants.
- The Food Poisoning Incident: Cole tried to patch things up with his wife by making her a surprise dinner of prawn curry. Unfortunately, he used discounted prawns a few days after the sell-by date, resulting in both of them getting food poisoning and his wife having to miss a business trip to Rio de Janeiro she had been looking forward to.
18: Niseag
"Dunno. I think it's Gaelic."
An unusual request sends the Interviewer, Joey and Salvatore to certain lake in Scotland.
An unusual request sends the Interviewer, Joey and Salvatore to certain lake in Scotland.
- Foreshadowing: When getting Cole and Haines' report about Nessie, Northcott sarcastically asks if she can expect more such reports about other outlanndish creatures like Bigfoot or an alien from Roswell. In Season 5's "Ross", we learn that the Interviewer did in fact help the titular Roswell alien fake his death.
- Gargle Blaster: Nessie gives the Interviewer, Joey and Salvatore aged whisky (served in beer glasses because of her huge size), which has a serious kick to it.
- Stock Ness Monster: The client is none other than the Loch Ness Monster, a.k.a. Nessie, who here is a friendly, boisterous talking creature.
- Surprisingly Realistic Outcome: Even though the Amelia tapes have given reliable intelligence up until now, it's not too surprising that Northcott doesn't respond well to the suggestion that the Loch Ness monster is real, and that the Navy should go looking for her in the Caribbean.
19: Cole
"I'm trapped in a nightmare! I can't wake up! Heeeeeelp!"
Agent Cole has a long nightmare based on his investigation of the Amelia Project.
Agent Cole has a long nightmare based on his investigation of the Amelia Project.
- Continuity Cavalcade: Cole's dream features guest appearances of several Amelia clients we have heard up until now, like Zale Indigo Ravenheart, Nessie and the undertaker who took over Bob's sense of humor.
- Dream Episode: The episode almost completely consists of a nightmare MI-5 agent Cole has because of the long hours he's put in investigating the Amelia Project.
- Red Pill, Blue Pill: Near the end of the dream, the Interviewer offers Cole a choice between a red Malteser that will somehow take him even deeper, and a blue one that will wake him up. Cole picks the yellow one.
20: Cleo
"Congratulations. You've reached The Brotherhood of the Phoenix."
Having found an ancient Egyptian papyrus scroll among the Amelia Project's tapes, Cole and Haines have an early morning meeting with two Egyptologists (Karim Kronfli and Layla Katib).
Having found an ancient Egyptian papyrus scroll among the Amelia Project's tapes, Cole and Haines have an early morning meeting with two Egyptologists (Karim Kronfli and Layla Katib).
- Content Warnings: Parodied; the episode opens with a content warning for nudity, which is pretty pointless for an audio drama.
- Historical Domain Character: Cleopatra VII (a.k.a. the Cleopatra), last Pharaoh of Ancient Egypt.
- No Name Given: The two Egyptologists are never named, not even in the credits.
- Psychopathic Womanchild: Cleopatra, portrayed by the female Egyptologist, is capricious and juvenile and shows a fondness for sometimes deadly "pranks" and mentions poisoning prisoners just for fun.
- Shameless Fanservice Girl: After a donkey milk bath has been prepared for her, Cleopatra strips in front of the Brotherhood interviewer, who averts his eyes though she isn't at all ashamed, and spends most of the meeting sitting in the bath.
- Similar Squad: The interviewer Cleopatra meets with is almost identical in mannerisms and personality to the Amelia Project's interviewer, and has a pair of Romans, Ianus and Silvanus, for assistants, filling the role of the Italian Joey and Salvatore (whose voice actors play the Romans). Given that later episodes reveal that the Interviewer is at least many centuries old, it's very possible that this interviewer was him. This is seemingly confirmed in "Victor Hugo's Table", where he alludes to meeting Cleopatra in person.
- Wham Episode: The episode introduces the Brotherhood of the Phoenix, an obvious predecessor to the Amelia Project dating back millenia.
21: Ant
"They're after me. The Chinese. The Americans. The Russians. The Turks. The North Koreans. I don’t think I'll last long under torture..."
Cole and Haines find the Amelia Project case breaker: an entomologist who was of great interest to national security.
Cole and Haines find the Amelia Project case breaker: an entomologist who was of great interest to national security.
- Early-Bird Cameo:
- The episode features the first appearance of Mia Fox; she is part of the CIA team listening in and becomes a major cast member in the next season. She also mentions Jackie Williams, with whom she is partnered in the next season.
- The Russians namedrop Mikhail, who will become a major antagonist in the next season.
- Interservice Rivalry: Agents of the CIA and NSA are both part of the chain of eavesdropping at the end of the episode, with the NSA being afraid of being upstaged by the CIA.
- Literal Surveillance Bug: Antony was hired by MI-5 to use his great knowledge of insects to design a surveillance device disguised as a fly. Because replicating it exactly was inefficient, he got it to work by implanting surveillance equipment in a fly during its larvae stage, resulting in it merging with the fly's nervous system and allowing him to control it and see and hear what it did.
- Sinister Surveillance: The end of the episode reveals that the Russians apparently got Ant's insect-based surveillance technology to work, using a cybernetic mosquito to listen in on his interview.
22: Richard
"I always obey the dice."
With a threat from MI-5 hanging over the Amelia team, the Interviewer presses on and meets with a client with a peculiar decision-making process.
With a threat from MI-5 hanging over the Amelia team, the Interviewer presses on and meets with a client with a peculiar decision-making process.
- Never My Fault: As far as Richard is concerned, he isn't to blame for any of his actions, because he's just obeying the outcome of the dice.
- Suicide as Comedy: After the Interviewer agrees to take Richard's case and releases him from his restraints, Richard makes good on his earlier die roll and jumps out the window.
- Out-of-Character Alert: When the Interviewer orders chamomile tea instead of his usual cocoa, Joey and Salvatore come into the office to check if he is alright.
- Unseen No More: After two seasons of almost only being heard on the phone's answering machine, Amelia finally makes her first in-person appearance in the podcast's plot.
Specials
23: Andy Spark
"It's so frustrating to be born into the wrong millennium."
In a crossover with the science fiction-comedy podcast We Fix Space Junk, the Interviewer meets with an aspiring poet who is convinced that the world isn't ready for his work.
In a crossover with the science fiction-comedy podcast We Fix Space Junk, the Interviewer meets with an aspiring poet who is convinced that the world isn't ready for his work.
- All for Nothing: Not unsurprisingly, Andy's plan fails, his poetry is forgotten and he is only remembered as a footnote in the life of a literary critic who panned his work.
- Continuity Nod: The Interviewer mentions Kozlowski building a fake corpse of Nessie, which happened in Episode 18, "Niseag".
- Crossover: With the podcast We Fix Space Junk. The first half takes place on Amelia's end, with the Interviewer taking on Andy's case, and the second half in the world of Space Junk when Andy is awakened from cryosleep.
- Small Name, Big Ego: When he wakes up in the future, Andy expects to be remembered as a poetic genius. Predictably, nobody on the crew has even heard of him.
- True Art Is Incomprehensible: In-Universe, this is how Andy sees his work. He is convinced that his work is brilliant and that his contemporaries don't like it because he's ahead of his time.
24: Phil & Amber
"There was no need to drag Pancake into this!"
On Valentine's Day, the Interviewer meets with an extremely beligerent couple, while Alvina has plans of her own.
On Valentine's Day, the Interviewer meets with an extremely beligerent couple, while Alvina has plans of her own.
- Irony: It's a Valentine's Day special episode, and the clients are an engaged couple who have undergone a violent breakup.
- Mistaken for Cheating: Phil and Amber's engagement collapsed when he saw that she had gotten a text message from his best friend saying "text me when he's gone". Phil thought they were having an affair, but it turned out that Amber was planning a surprise bachelor's party for him, even though he had said he didn't want one.
- Wham Line: When the Interviewer finally gets to ask Phil and Amber why they have come to the Amelia Project, prompting a minor Spit Take from him:Phil: We're getting married.
The Lockdown Tapes
A "mini-season" produced between seasons two and three and made in the 2020 lockdown during the COVID-19 Pandemic. The episodes show how the Amelia crew handled the pandemic and went into lockdown. 1. Soap
"Amelia! I need you now! I’m absolutely desperate!"
As the pandemic rages on in the U.K. and nobody else at the Amelia office seems to take it seriously, Alvina approaches her breaking point.
As the pandemic rages on in the U.K. and nobody else at the Amelia office seems to take it seriously, Alvina approaches her breaking point.
- Skewed Priorities: The Interviewer's idea of "essentials" for the pandemic is several kilos of Maltesers.
2. Pangolin
"Amelia. I'm going mad again. And it's not an itch this time."
Finding the day-to-day business of the Amelia Project untenable under the new conditions, Alvina closes the office.
Finding the day-to-day business of the Amelia Project untenable under the new conditions, Alvina closes the office.
- Be Careful What You Wish For: After getting back to her island and getting the privacy she has craved, Alvina quickly finds herself missing her colleagues at the Amelia office.
3. Lampitt LC- 62 E
"But, I have you! It's you and me. We're in this together, and together we can... I'm talking to the tape recorder."
Ensconsed in a secure location, the Interviewer makes the first entry in his audio diary.
Ensconsed in a secure location, the Interviewer makes the first entry in his audio diary.
4. Sangoma
"The reason I haven't called is because I've been... in hiding!"
Amelia shares how she has been staying in a little-known African country.
Amelia shares how she has been staying in a little-known African country.
5. Hurdy-Gurdy
"Okay, time for my self-interview..."
Desperate for clients to interview, the Interviewer decides to interview himself.
Desperate for clients to interview, the Interviewer decides to interview himself.
- Mind Screw: Even though he is supposedly just talking to himself, the Interviewer somehow manages to harmonize with the other self he talks to; even he never figures out how he managed that.
6. Zoom
"The world might be in lockdown, but people still need to disappear."
The Amelia team take a stab at running their death-faking business remotely.
The Amelia team take a stab at running their death-faking business remotely.
- Call-Back: The client is Ali, who appeared in the episode "The Rejects", trying to get the Amelia Project to make her husband disappear.
- Sequel Episode: To Ali's interview in "The Rejects". Since they turned down her request to send away her husband, she is now instead coming to them so they can fake her death instead.
Season Three
Prologue Season Three: Winklepicker
"We can just do Ip Dip Doo."
The dice roll made in the previous season finale turns out to have not ended as conclusively as desired.
The dice roll made in the previous season finale turns out to have not ended as conclusively as desired.
- The Unreveal: Like in the season 2 finale, we don't actually find out what number the Amelia team rolls on the die.
25: Tatiana Gurkovsky
"He’s right. We said we’d let the dice decide."
With the team deciding to stay in the office, the Interviewer meets with his next client, a Russian escape artist.
With the team deciding to stay in the office, the Interviewer meets with his next client, a Russian escape artist.
- Covert Distress Code: The Interviewer tries to signal to Joey and Salvatore that he is under duress by saying he is going out to get a Kit-Kat, instead of his usual favorite chocolate like Maltesers or Mars bars.
- Escape Artist: Tatiana is apparently a famous escape artist, who is brought to the interview covered in chains from which she escapes easily.
- Foreshadowing: When Tatiana tries the cocoa, she recoils, clearly not liking it, but pretends to love it when the Interviewer asks; this turns out to be because she needed to string him along until she could trap him.
- Wham Episode: On top of everything else going on, the Interviewer is kidnapped by a Russian woman.
26: T.I.P
"It's time to implement the third option."
With the Interviewer missing, Amelia decides to handle the next appointment herself. Only, the visitor is not there as a client, but as a competitor.
With the Interviewer missing, Amelia decides to handle the next appointment herself. Only, the visitor is not there as a client, but as a competitor.
- Blackmail: Knowing of Amelia's troubles, Mateo tries to force her to either hand over her business to the Incognito Project and take her chances with their disappearance plan, or he will just call MI-5 and tell on them.
27: Inmate 10642
"When are you going to take the bag off my head?"
The Interviewer barely has time to settle in at his prison cell at Golovin before his captors bring him a prisoner and tell him to fake the man's death.
The Interviewer barely has time to settle in at his prison cell at Golovin before his captors bring him a prisoner and tell him to fake the man's death.
- Batman Gambit: The Interviewer pretends to finish his interview with Aleksei by getting Russian language lessons, but it's just a ploy to fill up Oleg's transcript with text so boring that Boris will just stop reading midway through and then tells Aleksei the real plan for how his death will be faked.
- Luxury Prison Suite: The Interviewer gets a prison cell styled exactly after his office at the Amelia Project hideout and can even order a sausage and chips for himself.
28: Todd
"I had to steal a motorbike, shake off five policemen and stab a bloke to get here."
On their way to the Russian embassy, Amelia and Alvina are accosted by an unstable man who requires the Amelia Project's services.
On their way to the Russian embassy, Amelia and Alvina are accosted by an unstable man who requires the Amelia Project's services.
- Asshole Victim: Amelia tricks Todd into jumping off the London Bridge, thinking there will be a barge boat coming under it that he can land on; nobody feels bad about it.
- Never My Fault: As far as Todd is concerned, his cover was so transparent, it was everyone else's fault for not seeing through it.
- The Secret of Long Pork Pies: Todd disposed of his victims by baking their flesh into pies; he got caught when someone found a human fingernail in one of them.
- Shout-Out: Todd is a big one to Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, naming himself after the character and running a similar business.
- Serial Killer: Todd is one, killing people and selling their flesh as meat pies.
29: Mai-Linh
"That’s what’s landed me in this cluster fuddle: I’m just way too good!"
Still settling into his new life in Golovin prison, the Interviewer is tasked with faking the death of an online author whose fandom has gotten way too eager.
Still settling into his new life in Golovin prison, the Interviewer is tasked with faking the death of an online author whose fandom has gotten way too eager.
- Feminist Fantasy: In-Universe, Mai-Linh's book series The First Female Knight is this, to the point of inspiring a new genre called "femme fantasy."
- Fun with Homophones: A lot of Mai-Linh's stories have titles playing on "night" and "knight", like Good Knight Haruka, Knight at the Museum and Welcome to Knight's Vale.
- Pet the Dog: Boris gets the Interviewer to fake Mai-Linh's death in part to continue testing his skills, but also because Mai-Linh is his favorite writer and he genuinely wants to help her.
- Why Fandom Can't Have Nice Things: An In-Universe example. Mai-Linh's stories have gotten a lot of readers so hooked that they go to extreme measures to get her to publish another entry quickly, like threatening to hurt themselves or others, forcing her to just fake her death and disappear.
30: Baby
"Look at that... A mansion. A mansion in the jungle..."
While waiting out the battle, Amelia makes a psychic connection with an unborn baby.
While waiting out the battle, Amelia makes a psychic connection with an unborn baby.
- Psychic Children: The baby the woman in the cellar is pregnant with is somehow fairly cogent and able to communicate telepathically with Amelia.
31: The President
"Oleg, I'm so bored!"
The Interviewer finally learns the true purpose for him being brought to Golovin and meets with a challenging client.
The Interviewer finally learns the true purpose for him being brought to Golovin and meets with a challenging client.
32: The New President
"I need a genius."
The Kremlin plans to intercept the Panaraguan revolution, the Panaraguan resistance plans to stop that, and the agents of MI-5 and the CIA race each other for Kozlowski's body.
The Kremlin plans to intercept the Panaraguan revolution, the Panaraguan resistance plans to stop that, and the agents of MI-5 and the CIA race each other for Kozlowski's body.
- Continuity Nod: The Interviewer lists some of the death fakings we've seen up until now, like turning a reindeer into a horse and staging a Martian invasion.
33: Alvina
"Do you always arrive by propeller airplane?"
While waiting below ground, Amelia and Alvina open a bottle of wine and reminisce about how Alvina came to work for the Amelia Project.
While waiting below ground, Amelia and Alvina open a bottle of wine and reminisce about how Alvina came to work for the Amelia Project.
- Flashback Episode: Most of the episode consists of one long flashback to Amelia's first meeting with Alvina.
- Origins Episode: The episode shows how Alvina was first recruited to the Amelia Project.
34: Pablo Perez Garcia
"Hello. I'm Pablo Perez Garcia. I'm the leader of the Panaraguan Pythons. Now, you are going to help me."
While the Panaraguan civil war rages above, Amelia and Alvina get to know the leader of the rebel forces.
While the Panaraguan civil war rages above, Amelia and Alvina get to know the leader of the rebel forces.
35: Oleg
"My name is Oleg Kamenev."
The Interviewer's tight-lipped assistant opens up about his career within Mikhail's organization leading up to his current position.
The Interviewer's tight-lipped assistant opens up about his career within Mikhail's organization leading up to his current position.
36: Protein Bar
"Oh god. I feel... drowsy. Where am I?"
Amelia and Alvina wake up in an unfamiliar place and discover that they have been kidnapped by an old foe.
Amelia and Alvina wake up in an unfamiliar place and discover that they have been kidnapped by an old foe.
- Call-Back:
- Amelia realizes the Incognito Project is responsible for trapping her and Alvina when Alvina finds proteins bars under her pillow; Mateo had referenced them during their meeting.
- Amelia makes use of Perez' Berserk Button, tricking Mateo into singing some Ed Sheeran to him in order to verify that it's him.
- Cloud Cuckoolander: Apparently because of a concussion she suffered in the bus crash, Alvina is pretty loopy for most of the episode, thinking she and Amelia are in a Japanese pod hotel and trying to sing karaoke.
37: Mateo
"Oh, wow, that is a... very small gun."
Free from her captivity, Amelia confronts Mateo.
Free from her captivity, Amelia confronts Mateo.
- Little Useless Gun: Mateo is armed with a tiny pistol that fits in the palm of his hand; Amelia isn't at all intimidated by it, even when he fires a warning shot.
- Put on a Bus to Hell: After being tricked into faking his death, Mateo gets shipped off to a remote island in the Northern Pacific.
- Villainous Breakdown: After being confronted with how royally he has screwed up here, kidnapping the leader of the Panaraguan rebels, Mateo panics and, dropping his Smug Snake act, starts negotiating for Amelia to help him out.
38: Alexandra
"Don't fret. Most people can't go five minutes without lying."
While hiding in a cell in Block D, the Interviewer runs into a fellow inmate with an unfortunate ability.
While hiding in a cell in Block D, the Interviewer runs into a fellow inmate with an unfortunate ability.
- Living Lie Detector: Deconstructed. Alexandra can instantly tell when someone is lying just by observing their body language. This is a useful skill, but it has made it hard for her to maintain relationships since she can see through even little white lies people say, which led to the end of her relationship with her girlfriend.
- Truth Serums: Alexandra is working on creating a perfect truth serum that can put an end to lies in order to create a world where people won't be afraid of her and her ability.
39: Long Live the Revolution!
"This is really going tits up isn't it."
Reunited after their unfortunate setback, the Panaraguan resistance plus associates plans their next move now that everyone thinks Pablo Perez Garcia is dead.
Reunited after their unfortunate setback, the Panaraguan resistance plus associates plans their next move now that everyone thinks Pablo Perez Garcia is dead.
40: Hiroshi
"Tell me about the Robot Raves!"
Meeting with another Block D inmate, the Interviewer forms an escape plan.
Meeting with another Block D inmate, the Interviewer forms an escape plan.
- Robot Master: Hiroshi is a brilliant robotics engineer who likes building anthropomorphic robots capable of playing musical instruments, dancing and other artistic acts as opposed to just being used for manufacturing.
41: The Real President
"Why do people in this country always hide in the shadows?!"
With the future of Panaragua up in the air, Amelia and Alvina meet with the past, present and prospective presidents to hammer out a resolution.
With the future of Panaragua up in the air, Amelia and Alvina meet with the past, present and prospective presidents to hammer out a resolution.
Body Bag (Season Epilogue)
"He's our only connection to The Amelia Project!"
Cole, Haines, Jackie and Mia investigate the last solid clue they have left: the body of Kozlowski.
Cole, Haines, Jackie and Mia investigate the last solid clue they have left: the body of Kozlowski.
- Not Quite Dead: Kozlowski turns out to be alive, apparently having drugged himself.
Specials
The Christmas Thief
"Vodka in cocoa, now that's quite the treat!"
In this Christmas special, the Amelia team's Christmas party is interupted by the surprise appearance of an old client.
In this Christmas special, the Amelia team's Christmas party is interupted by the surprise appearance of an old client.
- Continuity Nod: The Christmas cards the Interviewer reads for the team are from past clients Phil Smith ("Phil & Amber") and Nessie ("Niseag").
- Rhyming Episode: The episode is narrated and the dialogue spoken in verse a la 'Twas the Night Before Christmas.
- Sequel Episode: To the Season One Christmas special, "Klaus". The client of the episode returns and is having second thoughts about his new life.
Season Four
42: Overture
Amelia and Alvina take in a show at the Paris opera and find themselves reunited with an old, dear friend.
- Falling Chandelier of Doom: While entering the opera, Amelia and Alvina look at the chandelier and think about how fun it would be to fake someone's death by falling chandelier.
- Indy Ploy: With Alvina and Amelia by his side, the Interviewer gets them and Hiroshi to take part in an escape plan he has come up with that involves stealing disguises from a production of The Nutcracker.
43: Faith (Halloweeen Special)
The Interviewer meets with a client who needs to escape a demonic presence.
- Deal with the Devil: Faith Griffith made one to save her father's life, promising to give up her soul in forty years. She turns to Amelia to escape the deal and seemingly succeeds by being canonized as a saint.
44: The Man With No Heartbeat
Awakened from his fake death, Kozlowski is questioned by Mia and Jackie.
- Faux Death: Kozlowski reveals that he drugged himself with silphium, which reduced his heart rate to just ten beats per minute and made him appear dead.
45: Raven
The Interviewer's client is convinced that she brings disaster and death to everyone she meets.
46: The Man With Many Faces
A newly awakened Kozlowski shares a story to Mia and Jackie of a relationship he had.
47: Mr. Love, Actuary
On Christmas Eve, the Amelia office is visited by an actuary with a business proposal.
- Continuity Nod: The Interviewer references Alicia Cairn from Episode 2, saying he was going to go with his niece to watch her late-night stage show.
- Historical Rap Sheet: Mr. Love's past clients includes unsavory employers like white collar criminal Bernie Madoff
and scandalous corporation Enron (though he claims the latter collapsed after firing him). - Shout-Out: Many to Love Actually. Some lines of dialogue are slightly changed ones from the movie, and the episode ends with the Interviewer, Alvina and Amelia watching it together.
48: Jackie Williams
"I'm tired of your half baked hallucinations and fabricated fever dreams! I'm gonna tell you something that really happened."
Frustrated with Kozlowski's long-winded stories, Jackie shares one of her own from her childhood.
Frustrated with Kozlowski's long-winded stories, Jackie shares one of her own from her childhood.
- Origins Episode: For Jackie, who tells about her childhood and a time when she tried to trick her father into thinking she was dead.
- Tracking Device: Jackie's plan to fake her own suicide by drowning could have worked, if she hadn't decided not to leave behind the necklace her father gave her; he had put a tracking device in it to keep track of her, so he found her easily when she hid.
49: Monsieur Rêve
"Only the bravest souls dare enter Monsieur Rêve's Dream Interpretorium..."
The Interviewer goes to a peculiar establishment for help interpreting a dream he's had.
The Interviewer goes to a peculiar establishment for help interpreting a dream he's had.
- Dream Within a Dream: The Interviewer describes waking up from multiple dreams, only to find himself in another dream.M. Rêve: So. This dream within a dream, within the dream- in the- within the layers of the dream- Sir, it appears we have prepared some sort of dream-lasagna and it is confusing, confusing and upsetting.
- The ending seemingly features more dreams within dreams as the Interviewer, Amelia and Alvina wake up from them.
- Poor Communication Kills: M. Rêve turns out to be a former client of Amelia, which the Interviewer forgot about; Rêve thought it was some sort of test and did his new trade best he could.
50: Mia Fox
"So you have looked into the face of death! Stared at his blue complexion, heard his ragged breath!"
——
——
- Origins Episode: For Mia Fox, detailing how she came to join the CIA.
51: Walter
"Does that name mean anything to you? Think Haines, think!"
Cole and Haines follow a lead that takes introduces them to an employee of the Amelia Project.
Cole and Haines follow a lead that takes introduces them to an employee of the Amelia Project.
- Ascended Extra: The episode marks the first time the often-mentioned but never seen "Walter from the morgue" appears in person in the podcast.
- Call-Back: Cole recognizes the name of the coroner's signature from Kozlowski's death certificate, Walter, from Amelia tapes, playing back ones where Walter's name was mentioned, including one of the Lockdown Tapes.
- Did Not Think This Through: When looking for Walter in the crowd at Covent Garden, Cole and Haines try to call him again and see if someone picks up their phone. Haines quickly realizes that almost everyone has a phone out, making this hopeless.
- Indy Ploy: Running out of time to present their findings to Northcott, Haines calls Walter's number, pretending to be working for the Amelia Project, and manages to arrange a meeting with him, even guessing the code phrase ("Maltesers"), all on the fly.
- Internal Reveal: While trying to find Walter in the crowd again, Cole and Haines instead find Mia, Jackie and Kozlowski, revealing to them that he isn't dead after all.
- Lost in a Crowd: In keeping with his love of Where's Wally?, Walter sits in the crowd at Covent Garden dressed as the character, as he likes to do in his free time, letting Cole and Haines find him.
- Origins Episode: We learn who Walter was before he came to the Amelia Project and see a flashback to his interview, which was done by Amelia herself.
52: Saga
"Come at night. Wear dark clothes. When you approach Abbots Cliff, row four hundred and forty two yards south-south-east."
With the Interviewer in a less than ideal mental state, Alvina goes to a cavern near the white cliffs of Dover to meet with a client.
With the Interviewer in a less than ideal mental state, Alvina goes to a cavern near the white cliffs of Dover to meet with a client.
- Identity Amnesia: Saga, real name Belinda, lost all memory of her life after slipping down a small flight of stairs and hitting her head.
- Loss of Identity: Without any memories of her husband, home or children, Saga no longer feels any attachment to any of them: she finds her husband unimpressive, her children annoying, and her home decor goes against everything about her new dark personality.
- Nightmare Fetishist: For her new life, Saga wants to do or be near violence and danger. Because of the Amelia Project's policies against collateral damage, she settles for becoming an on-site photographer, which will place her in disaster areas, war zones, etc.
53: Pretzel
"Welcome to Dover Petrol and Pretzels, do you want dough or diesel tonight?"
After Alvina's interview the previous episode, she, Cole and Haines, Jackie, Mia and Kozlowski all converge at the same gas station/pretzel restaurant.
After Alvina's interview the previous episode, she, Cole and Haines, Jackie, Mia and Kozlowski all converge at the same gas station/pretzel restaurant.
- Coincidental Broadcast: When they get into their car, Cole and Haines hear about the nearby collapsed cliffs from when Alvina met with Saga, and hear that a thermos of cocoa and a broken bottle of Veuve Clicquot were found in the rubble, making them realize that they just spoke to Alvina.
- Missed Him by That Much: Alvina, Cole and Haines as well as Jackie, Mia and Kozlowski all converge at the same Dover gas station/pretzel restaurant, without any of them directly running into each other or recognizing each other until later, when Cole recognizes Alvina's voice from the tapes.
54: The Royal Shakespeare Company
"Mine colleagues and I art in urgent need of thy help. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark..."
The Interviewer meets with an acting troupe desperate to escape their overbearing director.
The Interviewer meets with an acting troupe desperate to escape their overbearing director.
- All Just a Dream: The end of the episode reveals that the whole interview was just one long, particularly bad hallucination the Interviewer had.
- Control Freak: Werner Böhm watches the cast members at all times to make sure they stay in character, to the point that they are afraid to quit it even when meeting with the Interviewer.
- Primadonna Director: The Company's director, Werner Böhm, is forcing everyone to stay in character as their Hamlet characters 24/7, and they are all exhausted by this.
55: Patience
"Are those... antlers?"
After a roadkill accident, Jackie and Mia learn something truly astounding about Kozlowski.
After a roadkill accident, Jackie and Mia learn something truly astounding about Kozlowski.
- Wham Episode: We learn that Kozlowski's tears have the power to bring living creatures back from the dead.
56: Curtain
"We're coming, Sheba!"
The Interviewer meets with Alvina at the Paris cemetery and shares some long overdue truths.
The Interviewer meets with Alvina at the Paris cemetery and shares some long overdue truths.
- Call-Back: The Interviewer mentions his meeting with Venerio, the client from Episode 14 who could predict people's death down to the last second, saying the death he predicted for him isn't far off.
- Wham Episode: The Interviewer reveals his real name to Alvina, and begins to tell her the full story of his long time with both the Amelia Project and the Brotherhood of the Phoenix.
Season Five
Prologue to Part 1
"Uncle?"
- Unseen No More: We finally get to hear the voice of the Interviewer's often mentioned niece, Lorraine.
57: Ross (2001)
"Is this more of a Hannibal Lecter or a Magneto sort of situation?"
In the recent past, the Interviewer goes to an American military base to help a very wayward client escape and go home.
In the recent past, the Interviewer goes to an American military base to help a very wayward client escape and go home.
- Been There, Shaped History: Subverted; Ross claims that he gave William Shakespeare inspiration for the names of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, characters in Hamlet, Rosencrantz being his full name and Guildenstern the name of his great-grandfather. Afterwards, he tells the Interviewer that he was kidding.
- Bizarre Alien Biology: Ross is said to be chartreuse-colored in the winter months, and taupe in the summer.
- Lima Syndrome: Captain Scott has grown fond of Ross over the seven years he has been working at Area 51 and wants to help him escape before President-elect George W. Bush is briefed about the base; the last time a Bush was President, he was treated very badly and he is afraid of the same thing happening again under the new one.
- Needle in a Stack of Needles: The Interviewer approached Area 51 by disguising himself as a UFO nut; unfortunately, as Scott points out, he didn't exactly stand out from the crowd of other such people outside.
- Roswell That Ends Well: The client, Ross, was the alien found in Roswell in 1947, and he has been kept at Area 51 ever since.
58: Amelia (1999)
"Martha Plum, may you rest in peace."
In 1999, the Interviewer and Kozlowski bury their longtime partner, Martha Plum, and meet her granddaughter, Amelia.
In 1999, the Interviewer and Kozlowski bury their longtime partner, Martha Plum, and meet her granddaughter, Amelia.
- Cryptic Background Reference: The Interviewer mentions Amelia's mother, and Kozlowski tells him off, saying they agreed to never speak of her again.
- Origins Episode: The episode gives us the backstory of Amelia, showing how she came to take over her grandmother's leadership role at the Amelia Project.
59: Thuggy Trashmouth (1979)
"We don't make music for old hippies."
In the age when punk music was blossoming, the Interviewer meets with a foul-mouthed punk singer client.
In the age when punk music was blossoming, the Interviewer meets with a foul-mouthed punk singer client.
- Disco Dan: The episode reveals that the Interviewer spent some time in the 70s living as a hippie, dressing the part and smoking weed, even though the hippie generation had largely moved on by then.
- Elvis Lives: Subverted. While Elvis did, unsurprisingly for the podcast, fake his death to get away from all the fame and attention, he died for real because of an accident with a fishhook just hours into his new life.
- Historical Domain Character: Elvis Presley, who was a client of the Amelia Project and is now possessing Thuggy.
- Physical Attribute Swap: The Interviewer resolves the dispute between Thuggy and Elvis by having Thuggy exchange vocal cords with a friend of his who is an Elvis impersonator and looks the part, but has a terrible singing voice. That way, Thuggy gets the bad voice he has always wanted and Elvis gets to enjoy being Elvis without all the attention that came with his old career.
- Sharing a Body: Thuggy has been possessed by the spirit of Elvis, who sometimes makes him sing and dance just like he used to and imitate his voice.
- So Beautiful, It's a Curse: Thuggy has a very good singing voice, which annoys him to no end because it clashes with his punk style. He has even tried to make it worse by screaming a lot and drinking whisky, but he still has the kind of voice that goes well with Elvis' music.
60: Alfred Hitchcock (1951)
"You are the first person I have ever told this story."
Working as a makeup artist in Hollywood, Kozlowski meets with the Master of Suspense, who found himself stalked by a strange figure.
Working as a makeup artist in Hollywood, Kozlowski meets with the Master of Suspense, who found himself stalked by a strange figure.
- Historical Domain Character: Alfred Hitchcock, the famous film director also known as "the Master of Suspense".
61: Martha (1944)
"Do you remember the story about the phoenix?"
On a battlefield in Italy during World War II, Kozlowski reminisces with an unconscious Martha Plum, and he and Arthur face a dilemma.
On a battlefield in Italy during World War II, Kozlowski reminisces with an unconscious Martha Plum, and he and Arthur face a dilemma.
- Because You Were Nice to Me: As thanks for saving it and letting it go, the phoenix gave Kozlowski its last brightly colored feather and told him to wear it close to his chest for three days and three nights, granting him his current immortality and gift of Patience.
- I Die Free: The phoenix bird, having been worn out way past the point of its feathers being viable for dyeing, is let go and allowed to live its last days in freedom.
- Last of His Kind: The phoenix Kozlowski saved in his story may well have been the last phoenix left alive at the time, and it didn't have much time left when they parted ways.
- Origins Episode: For Kozlowski... sort of. He tells a story of his life in ancient Phoenicia where he rescues a worn-down phoenix bird from its neglectful owner and getting the gift of immortality in return, but when Arthur asks about the story, he says it was "metaphorically" true, but not factually true.
- The Phoenix: In Kozlowski's story, phoenix birds were used in producing fine fabrics because their feathers could be used to give them a bright crimson color not found anywhere else in nature. Unlike typical phoenix birds, they were not completely immortal; they did come back to life in a pile of ash if they died, but if it happened too many times because of neglect and starvation, it would happen more and more often until they just remained a pile of ash.
62: Dear Child Has Many Names (Present)
"Do you trust me?"
As the night goes on, Alvina and the Interviewer recap how the story has gone so far and Jackie and Mia make some phone calls.
As the night goes on, Alvina and the Interviewer recap how the story has gone so far and Jackie and Mia make some phone calls.
- Continuity Cavalcade: Jackie and Mia reach out to some contacts to verify Kozlowski's stories up until now:
- One of them looks up variations of Kozlowski's name on IMDb and confirms that he worked as a makeup expert in Hollywood in the 50s, and finds that he is even personally thanked in the credits for Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds.
- Thuggy Trashmouth is mentioned, including the incident when he got booed off the stage for singing Elvis.
- The existence of Ross and Area 51 is unofficially confirmed by someone who works there now.
- Foreshadowing: Kozlowski shares some names he has gone by in the past, and some he hasn't told Jackie and Mia before and will be shown to have gone by in upcoming episodes.
Prologue Season 5 Part 2
"There is something I need to do."
Still talking to Alvina at the Paris cemetery, the Interviewer reaches out to his niece.
Still talking to Alvina at the Paris cemetery, the Interviewer reaches out to his niece.
- Cryptic Background Reference: Leaving a voicemail to Lorraine, the Interviewer mentions that when they last saw each other, they parted on poor terms, but nothing specific is said.
63: Die Berliner Luft (1929)
"It was the wildest of times..."
In Berlin during The Roaring '20s, Kozlowski meets with a prospective client at a burlesque club, but the German political climate of the time soon rears its ugly head.
In Berlin during The Roaring '20s, Kozlowski meets with a prospective client at a burlesque club, but the German political climate of the time soon rears its ugly head.
- Explosive Cigar: Arthur and Kozlowski escape Siegfried by pretending to agree to his terms and light up cigars to celebrate, giving Siegfried an explosive cigar Arthur got earlier and using the confusion to slip away.
- Foregone Conclusion: Anyone even vaguely familiar with 20th century history will know that the Nazis take over, despite Kozlowski's optimistic predictions.
- Foreshadowing: In a conversation, the Interviewer and Kozlowski reminisce about someone named Jack Boyd, said to have been their very talented ship's cook before he died of scurvy in the past. His story would be covered in the later episode "Henry Avery".
- Functional Addict: Arthur was really fond of cocaine at the time, and Kozlowski was using heroin, but they mostly kept working as normal (it's likely that Patience allievated the worst effects of the drugs).
- Join or Die: Siegfried forces the Interviewer and Kozlowski to either keep up their operation while feeding the SS information and using their connections to aid them, or get shut down and arrested.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Finding the political turmoil of the world too unsafe, Arthur and Kozlowski fled Europe altogether and went to live on Phoenix Island, where they would later be found by Amelia Earhart.
64: Granville T. Woods (1909)
"May have invented doomsday machine..."
The office of the London newspaper The Daily Phoenix gets a visit from a famous inventor who is concerned about the implications of his latest work.
The office of the London newspaper The Daily Phoenix gets a visit from a famous inventor who is concerned about the implications of his latest work.
- Actor Allusion: Ben and Tim Meredith of Stellar Firma appear in another story involving making copies of humans and them protesting for their rights.
- Fingore: Kozlowski's assistant in the butcher shop has only worked there for a day and has already lost two fingers and a toe.
- Historical Domain Character: Granville T. Woods was a real, famous inventor sometimes referred to as the black Thomas Edison.
- Self-Made Man: Like in real life, Woods was a self-taught engineer; unable to loan books from the local library because of his race, he got white friends to loan them for him.
65: Jack (1888)
"I come seeking Janus."
In Victorian London, Arthur meets with a client burdened with strange nightly activities.
In Victorian London, Arthur meets with a client burdened with strange nightly activities.
- A True Story in My Universe: It turns out that the stories about Sherlock Holmes were about Carl in his new identity, written by the Interviewer, who took the identity of John Watson and published through Arthur Conan Doyle, who edited the stories for publication.
- Brainwashed and Crazy: Carl is a perfectly nice, non-violent person, and only committed the murders he did because he was hypnotized into doing them.
- Mythology Gag: Carl sees that the Interviewer has been on a job in Afghanistan, much like how Sherlock Holmes detects that Watson has just returned from the war in Afghanistan in his debut story, A Study in Scarlet.
- Sherlock Scan: Carl does one on Arthur, seeing that he has just been to Afghanistan and faked the death of a General, and that he has just lost two Italian henchmen.
- Stock Unsolved Mysteries: Carl turns out to have committed the crimes of Jack the Ripper, having been hypnotized into doing it.
66: Billy Gritt (1871)
"Is it a Spaghetti Western?"
In The Wild West of 1870s Arizona, Arthur shares a wagon with a wanted bandit.
In The Wild West of 1870s Arizona, Arthur shares a wagon with a wanted bandit.
- Beware the Silly Ones: Billy Gritt may be an almost cartoonish cowboy figure, but he is nevertheless a very shrewd thief and cares deeply for his horse.
- Call-Back: During his conversation with Alvina, the Interviewer references the episode "Mr. Love, Actuary", when he mentioned traveling across the U.S. in a covered wagon; this episode tells that story.
67: Amelia's Aria (1829)
"Glass holds many secrets..."
When Kozlowski has his head in the clouds after hearing a beautiful musical piece on a glass harmonica, Arthur arranges for a meeting between him and the musician playing the instrument.
When Kozlowski has his head in the clouds after hearing a beautiful musical piece on a glass harmonica, Arthur arranges for a meeting between him and the musician playing the instrument.
- Call-Forward: Fiorella's prediction of Kozlowski's future recounts the events of "Die Berliner Luft" and his and Arthur's future meeting with Amelia Earhart. She also speaks of a dangerous man whose name begins with an 'M', apparently alluding to Mikhail.
- Mundane Solution: When Jackie and Mia ask about the deaths and mental breakdowns of glass harmonica players throughout the years, Kozlowski attributes this to the fact that the glass they were made of was made with lead, and they just suffered lead poisoning.
68: Marie Antoinette (1783)
"Liberté, égalité, fraternité."
Arthur and Kozlowski meet with French royalty and come to play a major part in French history.
Arthur and Kozlowski meet with French royalty and come to play a major part in French history.
- Historical Domain Character: Marie-Antoinette, queen of France at the time of The French Revolution.
- Internal Reformist: Marie has been trying to improve her country best she can, pushing for political reform and spending money to get some money into the system, but it's not working well enough.
69: Henry Avery (1696)
"Not just any old pirate... Henry Avery! The king of the pirates!"
While travelling on the high seas with a Dutch ship, Arthur and Kozlowski find themselves taken prisoner by a notorious pirate ship.
While travelling on the high seas with a Dutch ship, Arthur and Kozlowski find themselves taken prisoner by a notorious pirate ship.
- Asshole Victim: Nobody feels too bad about the murder of Henry Avery, who as the Interviewer points out was a ruthless killer, rapist and slaver, or his most loyal crew, who were apparently almost as bad.
- Call-Forward: The ship Jack Boyd and his crew sails, the Fancy, is the same ship Arthur and Kozlowski were on when they met with Marie Antoinette in the previous episode.
- Dead Person Impersonation: Jack poisoned Henry Avery and his closest mates and then took over his ship, relying on Avery's reputation to scare off potential pursuers.
- Historical Domain Character: Subverted. Jack is posing as the dread pirate captain Henry Avery, whom he killed earlier. The real Avery is believed to have disappeared in 1696, when the episode takes place.
- Punchclock Villain: As Jack tells it, a lot of pirates only take up a life of crime because the alternative for sailors is the navy, which pays worse and leaves them with nothing if they get kicked out because of injuries, and most just try to make enough to buy some land and settle down. Arthur points out that most pirates get arrested and hanged after a few years, but Jack says it's still seen as worth the risk.
- Recruitment by Rescue: In true Amelia/Phoenix tradition, the Interviewer and Kozlowski helped Jack by making him and his crew part of the team, using the ship to smuggle clients.
- Supreme Chef: Jack Boyd was Avery's head chef, and is very good at it.
70: Poquelin (1673)
"My name was Argan. My profession: barber-surgeon..."
In Spanish-ruled Brussels, Kozlowski meets with an anxious actor.
In Spanish-ruled Brussels, Kozlowski meets with an anxious actor.
- Creator Cameo: The podcast's co-creator Philip Thorne has a cameo as a German barber.
- Historical Domain Character: The end of the episode reveals that Poquelin is the famed French playwright Molière, who is said to have died exactly like Kozlowski plans in the episode: in a coughing fit while performing in The Imaginary Invalid.
- Hypochondria: The client is suffering from
- Skewed Priorities: The end of the episode reveals that the Interviewer's part of the story told to Alvina was just his quest to find a good German waffle.
- Write What You Know: In-Universe; Kozlowski convinced Poquelin to base his last work before he faked his death on his own hypochondria. The resulting play, The Imaginary Invalid, was indeed about a hypochondriac; Poquelin even named the main character, Argan, after the alias Kozlowski was using at the time.
71: The Wicked Bible (1631)
"I've always wanted to take a stab at printing!"
In London, the Interviewer got a look into the surprisingly cutthroat business of Bible-printing.
In London, the Interviewer got a look into the surprisingly cutthroat business of Bible-printing.
- Artistic License – History: The episode takes place in 1631, and based on the events, Barker's death by bear mauling was likely faked shortly after. In real life, Barker went to prison in 1635 and died in a debtors' prison in 1643.
- Bears Are Bad News: Arthur decides to fake Barker's death at a bear-baiting event (where a bear is pitted against dogs for public entertainment) by having the bear come loose and attack the spectators; however, the bear that will be used, Sackerson, has been trained by him and Kozlowski to only pretend to maul whoever it grabs.
- Historical Domain Character: Robert Barker was a real person, and he really did print the so-called "Wicked Bible" with the adultery typo, as said in the episode.
72: The Man With Many Tattoos (Present)
"My passion for body art goes way back...
As the campfire starts to die out, Kozlowski, Mia and Jackie step away to get more firewood. Not wanting to miss out on any stories, Cole and Haines try their hardest to follow them.
As the campfire starts to die out, Kozlowski, Mia and Jackie step away to get more firewood. Not wanting to miss out on any stories, Cole and Haines try their hardest to follow them.
- Breather Episode: The episode marks the end of part 2 of Season 5 and takes a break from the historical episodes, instead looking back at past episodes in the present.
- Continuity Cavalcade: The episode not only references many of the episodes told over the campfire, but also references older episodes:
- In the car, Mia and Jackie look closer at Kozlowski's tattoos and make a game of figuring out the past clients to whom they refer:
- A robotic ant: Antony "Ant" Welby (Episode 21)
- A die: Richard Reynolds (Episode 22)
- A bobble hat: Walter Gervitch (Episode 51)
- The emblem of the Cosa Nostra: Joey and Salvatore (Episode 16)
- A stage light falling onto a man with a microphone: Bob (Episode 7). At first, Mia and Jackie mistake the man for Thuggy Trashmouth (Episode 59)
- A Plague Doctor mask: Venerio (Episode 14)
- A sarcophagus: Andy Spark (Episode 23). Jackie's first guess is Cleopatra (Episode 20).
- A spaceship: Bartholomew Fuckface Chucklepants Knucklecracker (Episode 17)
- An Area 51 road sign: Ross (Episode 57)
- In the car, Mia and Jackie look closer at Kozlowski's tattoos and make a game of figuring out the past clients to whom they refer:
- Indy Ploy: In order to distract Jackie, Mia and Kozlowski from Haines getting out of the car trunk, Cole improvises, wears two of the fake mustaches from the car's set of disguises, puts on an exaggerated cowboy-like personality and even improvises a song. Amazingly, it works and Haines manages to get away.
Specials
H (Easter Special)
"Knock knock, who's there?"
The Interviewer gets a visit from Jesus Christ, who needs to revitalize his following.
The Interviewer gets a visit from Jesus Christ, who needs to revitalize his following.
- Who's on First?: The Interviewer has one with Joey and Salvatore when they keep saying "il Salvatore" in shock; he thinks they mean the latter, but they're actually saying "savior", having just seen Jesus in the flesh.
Victor Hugo's Table (Halloween Special)
"What is it with great writers and ghosts?"
First, Amelia walks in on the Interviewer and Alvina doing some unusual spooky season reading. Weeks later, the Interviewer gets his hands on an antique table that the French writer Victor Hugo supposedly used to commune with departed spirits. Soon, he, Alvina and Amelia find themselves putting that to the test.
First, Amelia walks in on the Interviewer and Alvina doing some unusual spooky season reading. Weeks later, the Interviewer gets his hands on an antique table that the French writer Victor Hugo supposedly used to commune with departed spirits. Soon, he, Alvina and Amelia find themselves putting that to the test.
- Call-Back: When the Interviewer, Alvina and Amelia learn that the spirit is supposedly someone they killed who was not a client, they remember two people who have been killed on the premises by them during the story. The first is Tony di Pasqua, who was shot dead by Alvina during "The Italians". The other is Alex, who wanted them to help him disappear after he killed a number of people to cover up an affair.
- Continuity Nod: The Interviewer references the Brotherhood of the Phoenix helping Cleopatra fake her death and seemingly confirms that he was the one who had the meeting with her.
- Pop-Cultural Osmosis: When the Interviewer tells Joey and Salvatore about Victor Hugo, they have no idea who he is. When he mentions that he wrote The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Joey hasn't heard of it at all. Salvatore at least knows of it, but thinks it means Hugo worked for Disney.
- Spooky Séance: When the table apparently starts tapping the floor to communicate with the team, the Interviewer, Alvina and Amelia take a seat at the table and try to figure out who the spirit is.
The Twelve Deaths of Christmas
Over the course of the twelve days of Christmas (December 25-January 5), the Amelia team find themselves going through a marathon of fake deaths, having to disappear one of the twelve daughters of a rich businessman every day. Meanwhile, increasingly frustrating gifts keep appearing at the office.
The special was released one episode per day from December 25, 2023 to January 5 the following year, as well as an Epiphany Day epilogue. The episodes are set to be removed from the public podcast feed at the end of January and then become Patreon exclusive.
The special was released one episode per day from December 25, 2023 to January 5 the following year, as well as an Epiphany Day epilogue. The episodes are set to be removed from the public podcast feed at the end of January and then become Patreon exclusive.
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: The Hollingsworth daughters' father is Cuthbert Hollingsworth, a Christmas decoration magnate. According to Amelia, the man had countless affairs before his wife divorced him. When it went through, she got nothing from him and because his daughters sided with her, Cuthbert put them under house arrests. Additionally, the working conditions in his factories are terrible, they pay is miniscule and he regularly engages in union busting.
- The End... Or Is It?: In the epilogue, the Interviewer looks out a window and sees three kings outside, suggesting the festive theme may not be over yet.
- First-Episode Spoiler: The fact that the team has to fake the death of one Hollingsworth daughter a day is revealed well into the Day 1 episode, with the Interviewer (having not read the case files as usual) being caught by surprise by this fact.
- Ice Palace: On "Day 10", the Interviewer comes up with a plan to disappear two Hollingsworth daughters (to make up for the one they failed the day before) involving a giant snow castle built by Joey and Salvatore that he describes as "Frozen meets Jim Henson's Labyrinth". The plan is for the first daughter to disappear inside; then, when another daughter goes in after her with a rope tied to her waist, they are replaced with a big ice sculpture of them, making it look like the castle took them.
- Poor Communication Kills: In "Day 11", the planned fake death goes completely awry because the Amelia team can't hear each other in the office over all the animals making noise and pipers playing bagpipes. As a result, everyone in the team tries to do their own disappearance, some more outlandish than others, and the daily fake death nearly fails.
- The Twelve Spoofs of Christmas: While doing the daily Hollingsworth fake deaths, the Amelia team keep getting gifts themed after "The Twelve Days of Christmas" sent to them, starting with a live partridge and a potted pear tree, then two doves, then three hens, etc. Things get really challenging when they get to the people, like maids a-milking and ladies dancing, all of whom stick around.
Crossovers
Forgive Amelia!
"I know this is a bit unorthodox of me, but right now I've got a car full of sinners with a mighty burden to get off their shoulders."
"I must confess, I've never done this whole sit in a secret booth and unburden myself to a stranger behind a privacy screen thing."
"The whole thing was senselessly naive."
In this three-part crossover with the Forgive Me! podcast, the Interviewer, Amelia and Alvina rush to Father Ben's church in the middle of the night to make their confessions after a nearby job goes awry.
- Star-Crossed Lovers: The clients turn out to have been a pair of teenagers belonging to separate rival potato farming families who wanted to fake their deaths so they could disappear and live together. They even did a Romeo and Juliet-style double suicide in front of everyone at the festival, calling out their families for the long-lasting, pointless rivalry.
The Perils of Freelancing
In a crossover with Where the Stars Fell, Dr. Edison Tucker turns out to be an associate of the Amelia Project, and wants to renegotiate her deal.
- Seen It All: The Interviewer isn't at all fazed when Ed does the scary things with her eyes.
