Funny: You Tube Poop Authors D To L
- Friendship is De Magiks, particularly the "years of apple fucking" bit with Saria's Song.
- Super Applebloom 64 is hilarity from beginning to end.
Apple Bloom: We're still sisters, right?
Applejack: Um, actually, I...
Big Mac: I'm a Jew.
(Applejack has a Swastika
for a cutie mark).
Applejack: Why of all the why-uh-why-uh!
- Immediately following that:
Pinkie Pie: Stop with the shish! It's time to get naked!
: Aw, shit
- Made even funnier by the fact that they're both naked already.
- The ending. The credits roll with no music, and after a while, someone shouts "WHAT THE FUCK?"
- Dipper Plays Video Games:
Dipper: Grunkle Stan, whenever I suck your cock, I feel like I'm not straight.
Dipper: Mabel. Private part.
Mabel: COMEDY GOLD!
Dipper: Well, Wendy, I just want you to know that people make steaks. And when they do, you should fuck them.
Wendy: Dude, you lost me.
Dipper: *throws a baseball at her*
Wendy: AH! MY EYE!
- God Burns Down Equestria for Insurance Money
What are you two doing? (canned ooh) Snips:
The Great and Powerful Trixie! (canned laughter) Spike: What?
- The Running Gag of ponies coughing up birds.
- This exchange:
- Twilight face-hoofing at the laugh track laughing at nothing in particular.
- The Mane Six reacting to Rarity's dresses.
(After Twilight struggles to say something)
Pinkie: I love you!
Rarity: What's the matter? Don't you like them?
Twilight: They're re-re-re—
Applejack: (who had randomly turned into a pile of plums) And we're plums.
- "I'm not sure. I'm also not sure. I'm also Notch."
- Twilight opening the front door of Fluttershy's cottage (which has the deviantArt logo on it) to encounter a flood of badly-designed OC ponies.
: *at an OC pony* EW!
- The Eldritch Abomination that comes out of Fluttershy's mane in place of the parasprite.
- Rainbow Dash getting her head cut off by Pinkie's cymbals.
Great. Now what do we do?
- Before that, we have a Running Gag of Rainbow Dash shouting "WE CALL IN THE ____ CONTROL!". The third time around, Pinkie Pie yells for her to shut her mouth.
Rainbow Dash: We call in the *unintelligible sound*
Pinkie: SHUT UP!
- "I am not the ruiner! I am God!"
- "Will you forget about sex for one second?" "Boner!"
- In the intro, we have Rarity screaming "Oh for Pete's sake!" when the song playing at the beginning makes a sex joke.
- "I got cancer." *canned laughter*
- "Well, in THAT case..." *Twilight gestures toward a well in her suitcase*
- The following:
Fluttershy: You wanted to see me Rarity?
: *looks at herself* But...
Rarity: Not another word!
- Celestia's parting words.
Celestia: Haven't you learned anything about friendship?
Twilight: I've learned that sometimes the solution to your problems can come from—
Celestia: I don't care. *leaves*
- Bobby's Sanity Meter is Low, despite being an April Fool's joke, is still hilarious from start to finish.
Hank: Hey, my HUMEN FEEDER just got its first customer. Bobby, c-
Bobby (as a Combine): STOP THE HUMENS!
- Bobby Will Never Be MLG
- When Chane shoves Bobby onto the ground then pins him:
C'mon! Eat some dirt! Bobby: (Tranquil Fury as the camera zooms on him)
Okay... (darts off with Chane riding, going through the street where Dale keeps kicking Bill in the groin before Steve bats Chane off, approaches Chane and starts to eat him; scene then cuts to the Hill home) Hank:
What have you been eating? Bobby: (beat, with bloodstained lips) Dirt.
- Although DinnerWarrior's better poop is undoubtly "Gaston and Frollo get a life", I hold a special fondness for "Link offends a terrorist". I'm not going to quote either of them because Frollo will get pissed.
- I'll quote anyway: "Beata Maria, you know I am a HOLY SHIT MY HAIR IS ON FIRE"
- I'll take that risk as well:
Monsieur D'Arque: I'm loving it. *Ronald McDonald appears*
Gaston: Have it your way. *The Burger King appears*
- So shall I:
- Me too:
Frollo: Hellfire- *whoosh* The fire is out. *punch* Ow, my hip! *punch* Ow, my spine!
- Gaston and Lefou's argument over who saw Saw.
- Gaston raping Osaka and then getting her pregnant.
- The surprise cameo of Doctor Rabbit.
- Gaston trying to hijack "Hellfire" from Frollo.
Frollo: Get out of my house!
Gaston: I'm not in your house. I'm in a pub.
Gaston: I don't know.
- Disney Villains Shouldn't Give Or Get Sex Changes.
You're here, because you have a thing
for this "Prince" fellow. Ariel (in Mario's voice):
The prince is gay. Ursula:
That's right! The only way to get Mr. Prince... is to become a man! Ariel:
Can you do that? Ursula: ~
I admit that in the past I've been a bitch. / They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a pimp. / But you'll find that nowadays / I've mended all my ways / Repented, seen the light and made a switch to decaf! (Cuts to Gaston with four arms!) Ursula:
Before the sun sets on the third day, you've got to get Deepercutt
to fall in love with you. That is, he's got to fuck you
. But if he doesn't, you turn back into a woman, and Krobo Productions belongs... to me. Sebastian: RUN!!!!! FUCKING RUN!!!!!
- The Scout Tries to Hit on Haruhi
U.S Army Air Field
No. of Planes...[CENSORED]
What Men Think...[CENSORED]
- Then there's the part where the aforementioned event in the title takes place:
Haruhi: I don't have any time for ordinary humans!
Scout: Do you have any idea who I am?
Haruhi: Not really.
Scout: I'm basically...kind of a big deal.
Haruhi: Not really.
Scout: (while flexing his muscle) Aw man, that's beautiful.
Haruhi: Not really.
Scout: You listening?
Haruhi: Not really.
Scout: I'm a force of nature.
Scout: I-I- don't even know where to start.
Haruhi: Shut up!!
(Haruhi kicks the Scout)
- Link Discovers Ganon's Least Favorite Color.
King: Link, where's the pizza I saved for dinner?
Link: Yeah, like you need more to eat, you fat, old king.
King: What did you say?!
Link: I said you're a glutton.
King: I'm warning you, Boi!
Link: *throws rubber chicken*
King: Stop throwing shit at me!
Link: *throws potato*
Link: Fat, fat, fat!
King: *throws dictionary*
Link: Ouch. I'm so angry I could...
King: You could what? Take him away
Link: *turns lights out*
King: I can not see shit!
Link: Headbutt! (headbutts the King)
Gwonam: Your majesty. Link is in space.
Gwonam: And it is written: Only Link can defeat Ganon.
King: Why Link?
Gwonam: It is written here.
Morshu: Who wrote it?
Gwonam: ... That is of no concern of yours.
- Robotnik Watches My Little Pony, mostly because of Robotnik's reaction to watching it, which was probably the same as nearly every brony who watched the show for the first time.
- "The bitterness in the young one's heart had transformed her into a transvestite!"
- Dan Backslide shows up to demonstrate "a look at a typical brony".
: CONFOUND those ponies! They drive me to drink! NO ONE must EVER KNOW!
- Fluttershy breaking up the big fight scene near the end. "WAAAAAIT! Cupcaaaaakes!"
- The spy's reluctant request. The best parts are the knife jumping back up from the floor to hurt the Scout, the Soldier telling the Scout about having had sex with his mother and the musical Stinger at the end.
- This bit from Mama Luigi Bends Physics
Anyway, I was banished from Princess Toadstool's Mushroom Kingdom, for plowing Princess Toadstool. Now, before I put my 'thing' in her 'you-know',
I put on a Magnum condom. Unfortunately, the condom broke
, so I took the pill! Yoshi:
...Luigi, pill is for Princess.
HEEEEEEEELLLLLLP!!! Child support's gonna add up fast!
- The Heavy needs therapy...Badly
Some people say I touch myself. Maybe. *Cue to Heavy touching himself*
- Yuki Nagato's Anger Management
Haruhi: (while grabbing Mikuru's boobs)I touch what I want!
(is hit in the face by a breast implant) I always knew those things were fake.
- Frollo watches Shana while Gaston makes a Physics Breakthrough which manages to make a YTP out of Look Around You.
- "Merlin's Penis is an challenging tale of medieval gayness, in which you aspire to become gay for Merlin!" Something about the narrator's whimsical and mystical tone of voice just sells the whole thing.
Johnny: I did not hit her. I did not. Oh, hi Mark.
Johnny: I have a problem with Lisa. She says that I hit her.
Michael: Do you want an apple?
Johnny: No, don't even ask.
- "In a weedy little voice I say...RAISINS".
- While it might not be up to snuff for the usual standards of a YouTube Poop, How the King Hired Link is a pretty entertaining Origins Episode for Link and the gang.
Gwonam: Your Majesty, Ganon and his minions have seized the island of Koridai.
Zelda: C'mon! I'll go fight Ganon's evil legions!
Gwonam: It is written: only Link can defeat Ganon.
The King: Who the hell is Link?
The King: I'm going to fire you, mah boi.
The King: What? Why not?
Annotation: Because falcomaster925 told you not to.
The King: Fuck.
(aka Third Rate Gamer
- Free Meter (reupload)
- "If you have type 65 diabeetus, call 911."
- "Call 666185084020910516."
- "I hope you have diabeetus."
- Anthony Fantano Destroys his career it's so funny it got the Approval of God. Some of it's funnier moments are:
- "Who are you?" "Cal Chuchesta here"
- This beautiful piece of sentence mixing.
: "Anthony, right of the baba, I have for you a gift. It is something from your hometown" *Shows a picture of Broken CYDE
* "The Death Grips
: "I really, really don't like African-Americans at all"
: "You have a pretty impressive dick
: "I've got a decent to strong 7" Nardwaur
: "You even have a record review of the Fleet Foxes
, it has like nine views!" Anthony
: "Hopefully they fuck me in the butt."
Nardwaur: "Anthony, how are you so well spoken, you're so well spoken, you never go MOM or anything, how are you so well spoken?"
* Anthony makes licking noises*
Anthony: "I mean, you know, it's like, you know, the way I talk on camera is just the way I'd envision myself, you know, talking to African-Americans, you know, do like a book report on an album, but I mean, like, you know?"
: "How many dicks do you take, what's the secret!?" Anthony
: "I take twenty three in the butt and I beat my girlfriend.
- Billy Balls trolls Devin WalshhslaW
- "What the fuck, DC makes dildos? You bet your stupid ass they do! And they're the best in the biz."
- "Hey look everybody, it's professional cock-sucker Devun WalshhslaW."
- "HoH SiS!"
- "And join the craze with me, Woody Mays!"
- "Hi, Billy Illegal here! If you're ejaculating on a shower door, then you need Kaboom! Vroom! Call now and you'll receive not two, but one…"
- "…and we'll supersize this already incredible cock with 32-ounce bottles of semen." (And here come the generic sex jokes…) "It tackles your toughest shit stains without embarrassing hard-ons."
- "Call now and you'll receive ammonia. It's got the power to dissolve… what the fuck?" (Please stand by)
- The scene of Billy answering his Jupiter Jack.
Billy Mays: Hi, it's Billy.
Billy: In my car.
Herbert: Haven't seen a newspaper in a couple days.
Billy: No problem.
Herbert: Wonderin' if you're ever gonna come back.
Billy: Be there in 20 minutes.
Herbert: Ya like popsicles?
Billy: Fuck no. (turns Jupiter Jack off) In some states, jacking off is illegal. Using a cell phone and— (Jupiter Jack rings) — God damn it! What now, ass plug?
Herbert: You little piggly son of a bitch!
: I'm gonna run over your balls
with this car! (hangs up again
) Jupiter Jack transmits— (Jupiter Jack rings again
) You can suck my cock, gay fucker!
Carla (over Jupiter Jack): It's Carla.
- Dick Brimley talks about his doctor
- "My tongue felt like a horse ass."
- "So finally, at the urging of my fucking doctor, he said, 'Wilford, if you wanna get laid, I'm gonna give you a few things to do. Feel my butt with your dick. Uh, and I was really interested in that. So finally—" (SCENE REMOVED)
- "And I've slipped up and I've done people I shouldn't do." (NEXT SCENE, PLEASE…)
- "Yiff yiff yiff yiff. I like to say, we will, we will, rock you."
- Jesse gets violated by seagulls and kills Al Gore
- "Whores, 'Pops, whores eating 'Pops. Jesse Ventura's corrupt power!" (cue Nazi Germany footage)
- "I've been a perverted dinosaur, a woman beater, a sex offender, a seagull. I've fucked cocks that will blow your hole"
- "When I went up to the gates of the HAARP Facility, I learned that seagulls can get inside your ass. And here's what's worse: ELEVEN seagulls, up my hole."
- "The military? That's nothing, not when they've got Cockatoos."
- "You think you know the whole story? Nope, I've been fucking your mom." (Okay, Governor) "I'm Jesse Ven-fucking-tura."
- The "most chilling display of all": Al Gore dancing to "I'm Too Sexy" in the middle of the street.
- "It's time to launch the hunt, for the people robbing your cunt!"
- Spike's Harmful Addiction:
: Tank's got a strict fucking regiment and someone needs to make sure he dosn't jack off
while I'm away.
- And then when he receives a jewel:
Spike: Almost as beautiful as the pony who gave me head.
(Sexual Healing starts again and Spike starts imagining Twilight Sparkle)
- When Spike offers to petsit Gummy:
- Spike the Bad Dragon:
- After Spike hugs Applejack, she repsonds "We gonna fuck or what?"
- When Apple Bloom and Spike show her a giant pig with Wilford Brimley's face on it
(Apple Bloom runs off. Applejack shoots her and she splatters on a hill in the background.)
: YOU GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!
Applejack: It just doesn't feel right to have you...doing me.
- Getting Stoned at Canterlot High:
(with a realistic yet cartoony horse head): I'M A HORSE!
- The Running Gag in their Littlest Pet Shop poops involving Russell deleting things.
- PaperKirby is also frequently referenced.
- From Vinnie Terrio Takes Over the World:
Russell: Buttercream butt?
: Twinsie girls who were twinsie girls
swiped PaperKirby before I could tell them about The Hub
Zoe: Or maybe you thought that's what you sas.
Buttercream: These eyes saw it in crystal-clear Buttercream vision!
"This YouTube Poop has been presented in Crystal-Clear Buttercream Vision"
- After that, when the pets are leaving:
: (the caption "Average Portal Fan" is above his head)
I'm coming to make sure that cake doesn't lie, know what I'm saying?
Russell: We have time to figure it out.
: Those are the boy-girls
. They swippity-swipped the Cars
- Gordon's Cruel Revenge:
- "Sodor is an island with six small wheels"
I can only see three wheels :P
- "He's a fussy little fuck! Always pulling cocaine for the big engines to take a lawl, and when trains (the "I Like Trains" Kid pops up) come in, he pulls the cocaine away and he pulls the big engines away so he can go rest."
- Thomas loves playing tricks on them, especially Flash Gordon.
- "Why does Thomas look so Chinese in this shot?"
- The Cat in the Hat is Not Good at Throwing Parties. It's a rather short poop, but quite funny. It's basically about two kids trying to throw a shitty birthday party for a fish, then the Cat shows up and all sorts of madness occurs.
Theme Singer: Hey!
Two kids peering out the window crouch down
- "Now all we have to do is fuck him!
- "And I would want upside-down shoes!" (no comment)
- When the cat shows up:
All shitty ideas, but we need something shitty for fish. What do I have here? A hairbrush? A hammer? (Donkey Kong music starts playing)
A hairbrush? A hairbrush? A hairbrush? A hairbrush? A waffle! A hairbrush? A hairbrush?
- Vinnie Terrio Watches Toddlers and Tiaras 2: Vinnie is Not In This One, particularly the scene where Blythe receives a letter from Bowser saying he's taken over the Mushroom Kingdom and the princess is in one of his hotels.
- The Prince of the Middle of the Week Takes a Dump is too hilarious for words. Just watch it.
- MEI GOES FOR A WALK
- I'm so hungry, I could eat a INSERT PENIS JOKE HERE
- "Des-troy my fuck-ing face!"
- SUPER DUPER SUPER MEN
- The Penguin Loses Custody of His Penguins
- Mei Goes For a Super Duper Wacky Horny Laddie Men Walk 2
- This is this is Daniel on a bike, in a bike, on a fucking farm, having gay sex with many friendly face, face, lots of SPAGHETTI
- I was supposed to put the word "penis" after that sentence because it would apparently be more humorous and enjoyable, but no.
- SUPER HORNY LADDIE 3: THE JACKALS WITH SUPER STRONG COCKS
- This is mams! *beat* PINGAS!
- Lilek and the Doom of Friends. The exaggerated tones of the voices makes it hard not to laugh.
Link: Goddammit, it's so boring here, I wanna go home!
The King: My son, this is your home and you're going to stay here until you're 18.
Link: I wanna leave!
- GASTON GETS CHUTLEY DISEASE AND THE HOIP WHILE HE WINS A BRONZE MEDAL IN WRESTLING:
- ROBOTNIK IS BEAUTIFUL NATURE
- The Ultimate Hoip Of Hoips: Fern's Christmas Party
- Throw Things At Simon with special guest host: Link!
- Buy some rapists!
- How do you like my house? Well, I GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
- Soon after he left, Nick died in a horrible car accident
- HOLY Sample Text BATMAN. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN. YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!
- Can't be too careful with all those *Disney Acid Sequence* around.
- Eeee-eeee, you know I am a righteous COCKFUCKER, destroy my idiot testicles! *immense pain* Be me or she will be Paris!
- I'm going home. *walks home* GET OUT OF MY HOUSE BEFORE I KILL YOU!
- PHIL! Ah, ahhaMoving Pictures!
- Eat the boat, raar, then he crapped money, then he beat the crap out of Earth!
- Yes, I could have put a D at the end of that, or an H and an I in the middle of the S and T, but...hey, being funny isn't my thing.
- MIKE AND BRETT GENT, released following an extremely long hiatus due to a copyright scare in the summer of 2011 that led to him setting all of his videos to private until he released the video in late December.
- VIVIAN LISTENS TO RED WHILE FUCKSTONE LOSES HIS HEAD
- A vastly underappreciated pooper with flawless sentence mixing, able to construct seemingly impossible sentences from the CDi sources that many assumed had been taken to their limits. His masterpiece is undoubtedly Gwonam Buys an X-wing on eBay:
Gwonam: Your Majesty! Where the hell are you going!?
King Harkinian: I'm under attack!
King Harkinian: OAH! What photons!?
Gwonam: Uh... I meant proton.
- Another standout work is the Alternate Endings to the CDi games, poking fun at the Bag of Spilling.
Gwonam: Ganon seized Koridai.
Link: Great! I'll grab my stuff!
Gwonam: There is no time! Your sword is enough.
: You sure? I've got like five or six quests worth of stuff in the back. I could—
Gwonam: We do not have the time. Go get your sword.
Link: But I've got eight pouches of bombs.
Gwonam: All you need is your sword.
Link: Can I just—
- The Price Is Not Right is pretty great as well.
Gwonam: Here is the map! (opens the map to reveal that it's all blue on the inside) ...It's fucking useless.
- Something Evil This Way Comes is a crossover between the Zelda CDi games and I. M. Meen.
- Harkinian Goes to Court, which is a crossover between Zelda CDi and the Ace Attorney games. iteachvader simply nails the humor of Ace Attorney.
Phoenix Wright: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Miles Edgeworth: NNGHOOOH! WRIGHT! What the hell was that!?
- Also, this little bit of dialogue, with the King being himself:
- My Little Bat Guano
- The beginning, involving a battle between Applejack and the Teletubbies sun, culminating in "MY EYES!".
Applejack Look at all those assholes. Ripe and
: Juicy...and sweet...(beginning of "Sweet Dreams"
- STOP!...hammer time.
- The ENTIRE Pop the Pig sequence.
- The second commercial break, which is just the Littlest Pet Shop cast coming out of a bush and back in.
- How the author gets out of pooping the scene where the mane five turn Flutterbat back to normal.
Voice: We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stay tuned.
: Are we all clear? Okay, we're all clear. Alright, hit the red button.
Freakazoid: NO! NOT THAT BUTTON!
(scene plays in fast-foward)
- EEEEAAAAUUUUUAAAAHHHH. Pretty much anything involving the titular weird noise. Also Luigi:
Mario: We gotta save the princess!
Luigi: And, youuuuuuuuu...
- What is Spaghetti?
King Harkinian: All true warriors strive for cum.
Gwonam: It is written: Only Link can strive for cum.
Link: Great, I'll give head!
- "Zelda, [bleep] you."
Mario: We gotta [bleep] Bowser!
Luigi: And you gotta [bleep] spaghetti!
Mario: If you need instructions on how to [bleep] Bowser, check out my seven Koopa hotels.
Luigi: And [bleep] spaghetti!
Luigi: [Bleep] you and [bleep] spagheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetti!
- The CD-i characters singing Haddaway's "What Is Love".
- Racial Toon Wreaks Havoc
- Bosko doing a 1929-style "firin' mah lazah" face.
- Bosko being redrawn as Sonic the Hedgehog.
- When the animator asks Bosko if he can make the audience laugh.
Bosko: I gotta pee....right there.
Animator: There you are. (begins drawing a toilet)
(cut to a card reading "Soon, his waste is disposed!")
- JeoppoeJ Episode 2
- "On CNN's erection map, Illinois made this self-described 'skinny kid with a funny name' the giraffe mascot for Toys 'R' Us."
Alex Trebek: Joshua Allen is Joshua Allen. You have command of the board. Three categories remain in play. Select.
Joshua: "The Things of Nature" for $200, please.
Alex: No. Advertising Election Criticism. "What little cock a hippopotamus has, to rotate 270 degrees, is mostly on its tail."
- Jeoppoej 3: Stop Using This Source God Please No
- "Call now. 1337."
- "And our returning champion: a Massachusetts teacher from Somerville, College Physics, Whacks Cock, whose 146,200 day cash winnings total $5."
- Alex Trebek's head inflating and then exploding.
- "One chapter in her book is 'Fuck Your Grandparents'."
- "In 196 Gnee Shi-Vedge this Hyenabet currency was at 360 to the dollo; today, it's under 100."
- "Celebrity Memoirs for $1,000." (blank clue comes up)
- Jeopardy! Season 92 premiere
- "And these are the categories to start off the new season: 'Grrrrrrrrrr—'" (dialog box comes up reading "Alex Trebek has stopped responding. Windows can try to restart the program" with the options "This joke is old" and "Debug the program".)
Alex: (reading clue) "This Oscar winner." Alison?
Alison: Who is Hutton?
Alex: No. Diane or Vamsi?
(beep beep beep)
Alex: Who is Timothy Hutton?
- On the next turn, Alison hitting a Daily Double, whose clue reads just "This Oscar-Winning daughter."
- "On a clear day, I live in my donut, man."
- When the category "September" is revealed in Double Jeopardy!, audio is dubbed in from this notorious Family Feud clip.
- "I'll get you, my pretty, and cry havoc, and just one dog."
- The Jaws music playing when the inflatable shark appears behind Alex.
- Even years after its popularity has faded, "The Balls Are Inert" is still a piece of comic genius.
- "We had a teacher who was so strict, you weren't allowed to wank in her snatch."
- The Michael Rosen Wank.
- Michael getting blown by his grandmother.
- Babyshitter 2, The Revenge of Mikhael Rosenburg:
- Mum's on the Floor, Dead. Every single moment of it.
- Serious About Sausage
- Michael Rosen singing Friday and Baby.
- "We'll, I'm very serious about sausage. I'm not quite sure where they came from, but the first sausage was a snowman."
- "I read in a book that Harrybo's mom slept with everybody in Islington. Male, female... Harrybo'd hear us saying this and he'd go, look, this isn't fair."
- "George said sometimes my dad watches Harrybo's mom strip on the telly. Then I said, what does your mother say about that?. And George didn't say anything. Clarence said his mom is probably about 120 years old."
- Michael and his Brother Take a Walk on Stabby Downs:
- Michael getting upset at the electronic music (The Prodigy's "Omen") in the opening. The author then shows him lounging to "The Fragrance of Dark Coffee" instead.
- "The Lemonade Boy Rap. You may think I'm horny, you may think I'm alright, you may think I'm the fastest in the land!, you may think I'M TALKING, but hang on to your grandad and listen right here, I'm gonna tell you something that'll burn your village."
- Michael prank calling Bryan Mills.
- Jack Black Shows Us His Cocktagon: The "Tribute" music video being edited to be about Jack Black's Sesame Street appearance.
- Let's just say that his Thomas the Tank Engine poops will leave you in stitches.
- Pursee & the Faulty Facelifts, as the Fat Controller introduces Daisy to Percy and Toby.
The Fat Controller: This is Daisy, the evil railcar.
Daisy: Screw you, you smelly bastard!
The Fat Controller: Fine! This is Daisy, the lazy railcar.
That's better! (beat
Percy: Ha, ha, ha!
Toby (thinking): Holy crap, that Daisy is hot!
Daisy (with a distorted face): Nyey!
- The dance scene set to "You Can't Touch This" is nothing short of hilarious.
- "This is dreadful!"
- Tomuss & The Bloody Confusing Day
- "Hello, Thomas!" said Thomas. "This is Trevor, a traction engine." "A WHAT engine?!" Trevor asked. "A traction engine," explained Thomas. "You run on roads instead of rails." "WHAT?!" Trevor was still puzzled.
- Sir Topham Hatt dancing to "Highway to the Danger Zone"
- "Donald and Douglas are twins!" (Both make O Faces) The twins were surprised.
- "You see what I mean, my dear Edward?" "Poop!" (Gordon makes an O Face)
- Tumass Clones Go Bonkers!
- "Thomas is a Thomas engine who lives at a Big Station on the Island of Thomas. He's a cheeky little engine with six small Wills, short stumps short stumps sht stms sh-h-h-h-ho-o-ort-t-t stu-u-u-u-mp-p-ps-s-s-s short stumps and a stumpy cock."
- "Thomas thought he was being clever, but he was really retarded. He soon found his mistake. He tried to fart, but he couldn't. He just kept barrel rolling along."
- Purcy Discovers Something Retarded: James tries to explain why he hasn't got up yet.
Stationmaster: He did not! HE DID NOT!
James: Oh! (Suddenly realising Percy had set him up) OH! Where's Percy?!
(Cut to Percy annoying Gordon)
- Thomis, Terinse, & The Baking Powder
- This exchange between Thomas and Terrence the Tractor early in the video:
Terrence: Hello! ('said the tractor') I'm a tractor!
I'm Thomas, I'm a Thomas
. What ugly eyes you've got!
Terrence: (Eyes are now inflated) They're not ugly!
Thomas: PUH! You look like an Anime f***t!
(In Gratuitous Japanese
) DON'T DISRESPECT THE ANIME FANBASE...OTHERWISE I'LL BURY YOU IN SNOW YOU POOPYHEAD!!!
Terrence: Hello! I'm a Terrence! ('said Terrence')
Thomas: P-P-P-P-P-P-PUH! WHEEEEEEEESH!
What in the fu-!
Narrator: The snowplow was heavy and uncomfortable and made Thomas ssorc. He shook it, and he banged it, and he banged it...
- Billy Mays' Sexcapades
- "Has this ever happened to you? You had to leave town suddenly. Just got in the car and drove far from home. And you're scoring with a 350-pound whore live on TV…"
- "Carla takes it right in the ass. Shit's so cash!"
- "What do you do when you're away at school and can't jack off to your favorite whores on TV? Billy Mays here for P-E-N-I-S 360.com! It's the live sex you want, wherever you are! When term papers are sucking, see who's fucking!"
- "You can turn Billy Mays on with the flick of a switch. Wiwiwiwiwiwiwi. WITH THE FLICK OF A SWITCH."
- (high chipmunk voice) "IT HAS THE STRENGTH, TO TAKE TARNISH OFF THIS GIANT, MEDIEVAL SWORD! NOW THAT'S THE POWER OF—" (normal voice) "Billy Mays' balls."
- "This is Billy Mays, and I'm pulling around to stick it in your pooper!"
- "Take a look at this cock, it's a doozy! Get on the bed! OhOhOhOh CumCumCum" (Content censored. For full uncensored video please visit PENIS360.com).
- "Woah, that was an experience. Where's my blowjob? What is this I don't even!"
- "Greasy Potatoes"
- "Wow, all this furniture attracts moms like a fuckin' magnet!"
- "Orange Glo easily removes grease and grime from grease and grime. It's even tough enough to break down grease and grime from stickers without damaging the grease and grime. And with a fresh orange scent, you'll be grease and grime."
- Billy Mays' hand slamming down a "sold" sticker on the oven in the greasy spoon diner.
- "Why am I smashing my hand with this hammer? To show you the amazing protection you get from smashing my hand with this hammer. And this hammer is smashing my hand."
- "Are you tired of shitting french fries like I do? Watch this. Insert $100 into the back of Billy Mays' asshole, then simply watch as Billy Mays shits mountains of french fries in seconds."
- "You can chop your kids to make thick chunky salsa, salad, tacos, vegetable trays, coffee, chicken salad, ham salad, Cupcakes, ice cream, and your hands never touch the blood."
Billy Mays: Everyone loves cupcakes.
Apple Bloom: Not the cupcakes! Trust me.
Billy Mays: Eat the damn cupcakes right now, or I'll eliminate Equestria! (Pinkamena appears behind him)
- "HI BILLY MAYS HERE TO SHARE WITH YOU WHY LEGENDARYSAGE IS FAILING TO MAKE VIDEOS"
- "Just watch as I totally demolish the head of this asshole!" (uses a sander to destroy Vince Offer's head)
- "Does your toilet have ring around the ring around the RING AROUND THE RING AROUND THE RING AROUND THE"
- "Hi, sir Billy Mays here for the Big City Sword! Look at this: 80,000 Attack, 350 Strength, 360 Health, 160 Magic!"
- "Jacuzzi bazooka!"
- "LegendarySage is a supercharged asshole who'll take forever to make shit because Runes Of Magic has taken over LegendarySage's life. That's right. So get on runesofmagic.com today, and join the craze with me, LegendarySage, or I'll take a Big City shit in your hard drive!"
- "Phil Swift here for Flex Seal, the easy way to coat and seal—" (gets impaled by a Big City Sword) "That's the power and protection of the Big City Sword!"
- Billy Mays Hits Puberty While Cooking Calcium, Lime, and Rust Burgers
- "With the Slider Station, just scoop, press, and cook right on your toilet!"
- "Topped with pickles, onions, ketchup, or cheese, Big City Sliders have harsh fumes!"
- "The triple-sided chicken-stick surface is so slick, not even buuuuurrrrnnt oooooon chheeeeeeeeese will stick!"
- "Make healthy calcium, lime, and rust burgers with ease, and join the craze with me, BBBBBBBBBBBBBBB!"
- Billy Mays Raves With the Best Product He Has Ever Pulled Out of the Infinite Void in His Ass
- "Now you can throw away your toilet and never shit in your toilet again! Introducing toilet paper! Just wipe your ass! Maybe it's that easy."
- "I know what you're thinking: Billy Mays is high on crack."
- "Big City Grater is not an ordinary grater, but a superpowered grater that can grate anything. Watch this: grate laundry with ease. There's no wrong way to use it! Pass it around the toilet and grate as you shit. You can grate gophers, old man, your car, little hands, 20 ounces of liquid. Look at this!"
- "Watch this." (fails to get car door open) "Screw my car!"
- "Using a turnip and driving isn't safe, and in some states, it's even a seagull."
- "I love Fluttershy, don't you?"
- The end cameo from Radicalfaith360.
- Radicalfaith360 moves out and shit
- "So some of you are probably wondering, where the hell have I had sex? Well, I have sex on a prison bunker. I think it'll be best if I really just really just pump it out in this room." "Are you shittin' me?"
- "That was probably the longest dick I've had between videos." (censor bar appears)
- "I've actually secured uh, or am closing a deal on a Nazi concentration camp."
- "It's been a long time since I had a shit. So other than when I got together with cs188 and shit on cs188 and…"
- "Radicalfaith360 here for Concentration!"
- "And the person who recommended the concentration camp to me is none other than DaNazis1! And if you haven't subscribed to DaNazis1 yet, I highly recommend it. Very good shitter. Uh, very clean dicks. You see the sex in his videos. He uses profanity but he doesn't use profanity. It's N-I-G-G-A-S A-N-D S-H-I-T number one."
- Billy Mays starts a sex hotline (Sexcapades II)
- Uh ohho hU Uh ohho hU Uh oh! That'll leave a mark! And another! And another!"
- "Sucking that hardon is as easy as 1-2-3! You just push—" (NOPE)
- "Finally, sex you can actually afford!"
- "This bitch is fucking cray-cray."
- "And I'm not talking about some whore from Motel 6, I'm talking about real bitches with big titties, wet vaginas, or both. Flubber boat."
- "Billy Mays attracts bitches like Tyler Perry and chicken attracts black people!"
- "But I'm not done yet! Call Sundays, and you'll receive our amazing double penetration! Moms are gonna love two dicks on a busy school morning!"
- "And I still never got a blowjob!"
- Billy Mays Gets Pissed and Uses His Arsenal of Products to Pound Every Car and Truck Made
- "Fuck your car!" (pound)
- "With Mighty Putty, you just pound like dough. Simply knead to activate, apply and pound your car."
- Butt Mash's Adventure into Madness
- Billy Mays Gets Road Rage While Advertising a Non-Working Radio Broadcaster
- "Instead of hearing the other person, you hear music!"
- "In my car, the Jupiter Jack sucks. I need to shit." PFFFFFHHHHHT "Using a cell phone and shitting isn't safe. And in some states it's even illegal."
- "I don't feel safer because I have to hold my cell phone while I drive." "It doesn't matter. Driving is illegal."
- "But I'm still not done." (beat) "I'm done."
- Billy Mays discovers dickburgers
: Has this ever happened to you? Wii U
? You're on the road and you can't find an octagon.
- "Billy Mays here for Billy Mays' Titty Delicious Ass Burgers! Squishin' and squishin' and squishin' and SQUISHIN' and SQUISHIN'"
- "So slick. Just poop cheese, and watch your family attack your family!"
- "You don't need a cabinet full of cabinets. You need a cabinet full of Negroes."
- "With Billy Mays, you'll finally be saying: 'I can cook delicious mouth watering dickburgers with two thumbs up my ass!'"
- "Putty. Putty. Putty. Putty. Apply and support up to — NOTHING"
- "Work at work? That's much better than Men At Work." ("Down Under" plays on the guy's computer, then suddenly front-reverses over and over) "That's much better than pork at work."
- "Ba-con-egg-and-cheese. Ba-con-egg-and-cheese."
- Billy Mays goes for a peaceful morning drive
- "Previously on Billy Mays!"
- (types "HI BILLY MAYS HERE, LOOKING FOR SEXY PORN" into Google) "Alright ... what? You shittin' me? There's no kinky videos! What do you do when you get blue balls, and you can't watch your favorite porn on the internet?"
- This exchange
Anthony Sullivan: Hi, Anthony Sullivan here.
Billy Mays: Anthony, why are you using a cellphone and driving?
- One Winter Evening
The boys thought it fun to stone Henry until he was dead.
Fireman: "Call the police!"