When Chane shoves Bobby onto the ground then pins him:
Chane: C'mon! Eat some dirt! Bobby:(Tranquil Fury as the camera zooms on him) Okay... (darts off with Chane riding, going through the street where Dale keeps kicking Bill in the groin before Steve bats Chane off, approaches Chane and starts to eat him; scene then cuts to the Hill home) Hank: What have you been eating? Bobby:(beat, with bloodstained lips)Dirt.
"Most important, you gotta tell someone you trust, like a girl, your white friend, and CoCo!"
"Merlin's Penis is an challenging tale of medieval gayness, in which you aspire to become gay for Merlin!" Something about the narrator's whimsical and mystical tone of voice just sells the whole thing.
Shulk: Now it's Shulk t-t-t-t-time! (Attempts to use the Monado Arts, only for the Monado to display strange images before showing a low battery symbol and Blue Screening) Oh shit...(gets attacked) AAUUUGGGHHHH!!!
Nardwaur: "Anthony, right of the baba, I have for you a gift. It is something from your hometown" *Shows a picture of Broken CYDE* "The Death Grips" Anthony: "I really, really don't like African-Americans at all"
Nardwaur: "You have a pretty impressive dick." Anthony: "I've got a decent to strong 7" Nardwaur: "You even have a record review of the Fleet Foxes, it has like nine views!" Anthony: "Hopefully they fuck me in the butt."
And yet another.
Nardwaur: "Anthony, how are you so well spoken, you're so well spoken, you never go MOM or anything, how are you so well spoken?" * Anthony makes licking noises* Anthony: "I mean, you know, it's like, you know, the way I talk on camera is just the way I'd envision myself, you know, talking to African-Americans, you know, do like a book report on an album, but I mean, like, you know?"
And the ending:
Nardwaur: "How many dicks do you take, what's the secret!?" Anthony: "I take twenty three in the butt and I beat my girlfriend."
"So finally, at the urging of my fucking doctor, he said, 'Wilford, if you wanna get laid, I'm gonna give you a few things to do. Feel my butt with your dick. Uh, and I was really interested in that. So finally—" (SCENE REMOVED)
"And I've slipped up and I've done people I shouldn't do." (NEXT SCENE, PLEASE…)
"He's a fussy little fuck! Always pulling cocaine for the big engines to take a lawl, and when trains (the "I Like Trains" Kid pops up) come in, he pulls the cocaine away and he pulls the big engines away so he can go rest."
Thomas loves playing tricks on them, especially Flash Gordon.
Cat: YES!!!! All shitty ideas, but we need something shitty for fish. What do I have here? A hairbrush? A hammer? (Donkey Kong music starts playing) A hairbrush? A hairbrush? A hairbrush? A hairbrush? A waffle! A hairbrush? A hairbrush?
MIKE AND BRETT GENT, released following an extremely long hiatus due to a copyright scare in the summer of 2011 that led to him setting all of his videos to private until he released the video in late December.
The first 20 seconds are a good summary of the madness that is Imaperson.
A very talented pooper with flawless sentence mixing, able to construct seemingly impossible sentences from the CDi sources that many assumed had been taken to their limits. His masterpiece is undoubtedly Gwonam Buys an X-wing on eBay:
Gwonam: Your Majesty! Where the hell are you going!?
Gwonam: Link, that was Meen! Link: My bad. I'll go apologize. Gwonam: No, Link. I meant I.M. Meen. Link: Then you're a dick. Gwonam: Oh for Christ's sake...
In When Link Shows Up Late, Gwonam tells the king there's a fire in his house, to which the king responds that he left the stove on. Cue dramatic music... coming from a record player that Ganon has. Gwonam zaps Ganon away.
The King: Remind me never to piss you off... (Gwonam flies away, breaking a window) The King: You're going to pay for that! (Gwonam returns) Gwonam: No. (Gwonam exits)
"And these are the categories to start off the new season: 'Grrrrrrrrrr—'" (dialog box comes up reading "Alex Trebek has stopped responding. Windows can try to restart the program" with the options "This joke is old" and "Debug the program".)
Alex: (reading clue) "This Oscar winner." Alison?
Alison: Who is Hutton?
Alex: No. Diane or Vamsi?
(beep beep beep)
Alex: Who is Timothy Hutton?
On the next turn, Alison hitting a Daily Double, whose clue reads just "This Oscar-Winning daughter."
"On a clear day, I live in my donut, man."
When the category "September" is revealed in Double Jeopardy!, audio is dubbed in from this notorious Family Feud clip.
"I'll get you, my pretty, and cry havoc, and just one dog."
"George said sometimes my dad watches Harrybo's mom strip on the telly. Then I said, what does your mother say about that?. And George didn't say anything. Clarence said his mom is probably about 120 years old."
"The Lemonade Boy Rap. You may think I'm horny, you may think I'm alright, you may think I'm the fastest in the land!, you may think I'M TALKING, but hang on to your grandad and listen right here, I'm gonna tell you something that'll burn your village."
"Hello, Thomas!" said Thomas. "This is Trevor, a traction engine." "A WHAT engine?!" Trevor asked. "A traction engine," explained Thomas. "You run on roads instead of rails." "WHAT?!" Trevor was still puzzled.
Sir Topham Hatt dancing to "Highway to the Danger Zone"
"Donald and Douglas are twins!" (Both make O Faces) The twins were surprised.
"You see what I mean, my dear Edward?" "Poop!" (Gordon makes an O Face)
"Thomas is a Thomas engine who lives at a Big Station on the Island of Thomas. He's a cheeky little engine with six small Wills, short stumps short stumps sht stms sh-h-h-h-ho-o-ort-t-t stu-u-u-u-mp-p-ps-s-s-s short stumps and a stumpy cock."
"Thomas thought he was being clever, but he was really retarded. He soon found his mistake. He tried to fart, but he couldn't. He just kept barrel rolling along."
"Has this ever happened to you? You had to leave town suddenly. Just got in the car and drove far from home. And you're scoring with a 350-pound whore live on TV…"
"Carla takes it right in the ass. Shit's so cash!"
"What do you do when you're away at school and can't jack off to your favorite whores on TV? Billy Mays here for P-E-N-I-S 360.com! It's the live sex you want, wherever you are! When term papers are sucking, see who's fucking!"
"You can turn Billy Mays on with the flick of a switch. Wiwiwiwiwiwiwi. WITH THE FLICK OF A SWITCH."
(high chipmunk voice) "IT HAS THE STRENGTH, TO TAKE TARNISH OFF THIS GIANT, MEDIEVAL SWORD! NOW THAT'S THE POWER OF—" (normal voice) "Billy Mays' balls."
"This is Billy Mays, and I'm pulling around to stick it in your pooper!"
"Orange Glo easily removes grease and grime from grease and grime. It's even tough enough to break down grease and grime from stickers without damaging the grease and grime. And with a fresh orange scent, you'll be grease and grime."
Billy Mays' hand slamming down a "sold" sticker on the oven in the greasy spoon diner.
"Why am I smashing my hand with this hammer? To show you the amazing protection you get from smashing my hand with this hammer. And this hammer is smashing my hand."
"Are you tired of shitting french fries like I do? Watch this. Insert $100 into the back of Billy Mays' asshole, then simply watch as Billy Mays shits mountains of french fries in seconds."
"You can chop your kids to make thick chunky salsa, salad, tacos, vegetable trays, coffee, chicken salad, ham salad, Cupcakes, ice cream, and your hands never touch the blood."
Billy Mays: Everyone loves cupcakes.
Apple Bloom: Not the cupcakes! Trust me.
Billy Mays: Eat the damn cupcakes right now, or I'll eliminate Equestria! (Pinkamena appears behind him)
"Hi, bitches! Billy Mays here. Does your toilet have hard cum stains or a ring of shit that keeps coming back? Now you can throw away your toilet and never shit in your toilet again! Introducing toilet paper! Just wipe your ass! Maybe it's that easy."
"I know what you're thinking: Billy Mays is high on crack."
"Hi, Billy Mays here to share with you, the best product I have ever pulled out of my ass. Big City Grater is not an ordinary grater, but a superpowered grater that can grate anything. Watch this: grate laundry with ease. There's no wrong way to use it! Pass it around the toilet and grate as you shit."
Billy Mays dancing to "Sandstorm"
"Call right now, and I'll triple the offer, and send you agonizing discomfort!"
[four Billy Mays videos at once] "But call right now..." "...and I'll shit in your washer, while it cleans over 5 loads. Laundry just got shittier."
"So some of you are probably wondering, where the hell have I had sex? Well, I have sex on a prison bunker. I think it'll be best if I really just really just pump it out in this room." "Are you shittin' me?"
"That was probably the longest dick I've had between videos." (censor bar appears)
"I've actually secured uh, or am closing a deal on a Nazi concentration camp."
"It's been a long time since I had a shit. So other than when I got together with cs188 and shit on cs188 and…"
"And the person who recommended the concentration camp to me is none other than DaNazis1! And if you haven't subscribed to DaNazis1 yet, I highly recommend it. Very good shitter. Uh, very clean dicks. You see the sex in his videos. He uses profanity but he doesn't use profanity. It's N-I-G-G-A-S A-N-D S-H-I-T number one."
(types "HI BILLY MAYS HERE, LOOKING FOR SEXY PORN" into Google) "Alright ... what? You shittin' me? There's no kinky videos! What do you do when you get blue balls, and you can't watch your favorite porn on the internet?"
Anthony Sullivan: Hi, Anthony Sullivan here.
Billy Mays: Anthony, why are you using a cellphone and driving?