Funny: You Tube Poop Authors D To L
- Friendship is De Magiks, particularly the "years of apple fucking" bit with Saria's Song.
- Super Applebloom 64 is hilarity from beginning to end.
Apple Bloom: We're still sisters, right?Applejack: Um, actually, I...*cue weird stuff appearing in the background with the text "ur a liar, appljak" while "A Nice Chubby Baby" plays*
- "Rarity eats babies!", followed by Applejack with a horrified look on her face in black and white, while creepy music and a conversation between AJ and Rarity about babies in the background.
- "Applejack's Jesus!" "Um..."
- Spider-Man running in the Sisterhooves Social race.
- Applejack repeatedly punching Sweetie Belle in the arm.
- Shortly after that:
Applejack: Mah boi!Big Mac: I'm a Jew.(Applejack has a Swastika for a cutie mark).Applejack: Why of all the why-uh-why-uh!
- This bit:
Pinkie Pie: Stop with the shish! It's time to get naked!Applejack: Aw, shit.
- Immediately following that:
- Made even funnier by the fact that they're both naked already.
- Dipper Plays Video Games:
Grunkle Stan: Alright, Dipper, let's fuck.Dipper: Oh, what? Grunkle Stan, whenever I suck your cock, I feel like I'm not straight.
- At the beginning:
Dipper: Mabel. Private part.Mabel: COMEDY GOLD!
- Before that:
Dipper: Well, Wendy, I just want you to know that people make steaks. And when they do, you should fuck them.Wendy: Dude, you lost me.Dipper: *throws a baseball at her*Wendy: AH! MY EYE!
- "What can I say? Stubble!"
- "A furry? That is funny, Dipper!"
- "It all adds up! The bleeding, the bleeding, the FurAffinity! HE NEVER BLEEDS! Have you noticed this cat!?" *gestures toward a cat on the floor*
- "Remember what the book said? Don't trust black people!"
- God Burns Down Equestria for Insurance Money
Spike: What are you two doing?
Snips: The Great and Powerful Trixie!
Rarity: You can't be cereal!
- The Running Gag of ponies coughing up birds.
- This exchange:
Applejack: (wearing a box of Froot Loops over her head) Oh yeah?
Rarity: LOOK! PINK!
(After Twilight struggles to say something)Applejack: My nipples look like milk duds!Twilight: Exactly!Pinkie: I love you!Fluttershy:...Nice.Rarity: What's the matter? Don't you like them?Applejack: No!Twilight: They're re-re-re—Applejack: (who had randomly turned into a pile of plums) And we're plums.Twilight: I guess what we're trying to say is...they're just awful!
- Twilight face-hoofing at the laugh track laughing at nothing in particular.
- The Mane Six reacting to Rarity's dresses.
Rarity: *at an OC pony* EW!
- "I'm not sure. I'm also not sure. I'm also Notch."
- "What are they?" "The better question is 'what are they?'"
- Twilight opening the front door of Fluttershy's cottage (which has the deviantArt logo on it) to encounter a flood of badly-designed OC ponies.
Twilight Sparkle: Great. Now what do we do?
- The Eldritch Abomination that comes out of Fluttershy's mane in place of the parasprite.
- Rainbow Dash getting her head cut off by Pinkie's cymbals.
Rainbow Dash: We call in the *unintelligible sound*Pinkie: SHUT UP!
- Before that, we have a Running Gag of Rainbow Dash shouting "WE CALL IN THE ____ CONTROL!". The third time around, Pinkie Pie yells for her to shut her mouth.
Fluttershy: You wanted to see me Rarity?Rarity: Fluttershy! You're nude!Fluttershy: *looks at herself* But...Rarity: Not another word!
- "I am not the ruiner! I am God!"
- "Will you forget about sex for one second?" "Boner!"
- In the intro, we have Rarity screaming "Oh for Pete's sake!" when the song playing at the beginning makes a sex joke.
- "I got cancer." *canned laughter*
- "Well, in THAT case..." *Twilight gestures toward a well in her suitcase*
- The following:
Celestia: Haven't you learned anything about friendship?Twilight: I've learned that sometimes the solution to your problems can come from—Celestia: I don't care. *leaves*
- Celestia's parting words.
- All poops involving the infamous Virtual Lara Croft video qualify, but "Virtual Lara On Drugs!" takes the cake.
Lara: Hi! I'm high! *jerks spastically*
- Billy Mays Smashes His Balls with a Hammer
- "Why am I smashing my balls with this hammer? To show you the amazing protection you get from Impact Gel!"
- "The heels, and balls of your feet, and your balls!"
- Billy Mays Sells Toilet Insurance
Tails: I gotta find a phone fast! (jumps into a phone booth) Operator? I want to call Billy Mays. Uh, the number? Uh…Sonic: (whispers in Tails's ear) ♪800-588-2300, Empiiiiiire~♪
- "I know I should have health insurance, but on my budget, I just can't afford it. I need help." "Nobody wants affordable health insurance. You want toilet insurance."
- "Have your rates gone up? Have you been turned down? Are you on the ball?"
- "Including plans with burning and melting starting as low as OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAND a month for you, or pay a fortune for your entire family."
- "Kaboom, and the blood is gone."
- "When you call, you'll get to talk with a real live skunk, who will turn you down, no matter who you are." (cut to video of Badfinger singing) "♪No matter what you are…♪"
- "With iCan, you'll finally be saying, 'what odor?'"
- The ending:
- "So call iCan right now and tell them, 'are you shittin' me?'"
- Bobby's Sanity Meter is Low, despite being an April Fool's joke, is still hilarious from start to finish.
TV: It's time for me to live up to my family name and face FULL LIFE CONSEQUENCES!Hank: Hey, my HUMEN FEEDER just got its first customer. Bobby, c-Bobby (as a Combine): STOP THE HUMENS!
- Bobby Will Never Be MLG
Chane: C'mon! Eat some dirt!
- When Chane shoves Bobby onto the ground then pins him:
Bobby: (Tranquil Fury as the camera zooms on him) Okay... (darts off with Chane riding, going through the street where Dale keeps kicking Bill in the groin before Steve bats Chane off, approaches Chane and starts to eat him; scene then cuts to the Hill home)
Hank: What have you been eating?
Bobby: (beat, with bloodstained lips) Dirt.
- THESE ADVENTURE NEED TO STOP
Jake: The vampire SMASHED THEIR DICKS, just for the fuck!
- Kermit Should Never Have Quit Dental School:
Kermit: How am I supposed to talk about the letters-letters-letterslettersletters when you keep eating pizza?
- Sonic sez "Don't watch an anime called Boku".
"Most important, you gotta tell someone you trust, like a girl, your white friend, and CoCo!"
- "Merlin's Penis is an challenging tale of medieval gayness, in which you aspire to become gay for Merlin!" Something about the narrator's whimsical and mystical tone of voice just sells the whole thing.
- Pokemon Misery Dungeon.
Skarmory: I CARE WHO YOU ARE AND I LIKE YOU AND YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!
- The opening dialogue of Haptain Cook:
Narrator: All this has happened before.
Mr. Darling: You got that right!
- Michael's Bad Dragon Trip. All of it, but especially this:
- Dave Chappelle: (making masturbating motions) ALRIGHT EVERYBODY, BACK UP! BACK THE FUCK UP!
- Cock and Chichen: The Red Guy anally violating Chicken with an egg in his sleep, causing Chris Hansen to appear.
- "Today we're gonna be showing our friends the dicks of the Internet."
- "Take a spit on the Internet."
- "FourKids. It's still cool."
- "Sus." (wild laughter)
- "Hold on, sis. Hold on, sis. HoH SiS." (footage of someone hitting a Staples "Easy button") "That was easy."
- "So first, you need to know that everything on the Internet has an ass, and all web asses start with pee-pee."
- "I also had to do a ho." (Laugh Track)
- "Dear Mr. President. My name is Pee. My sister president yay. Sincerely, ylily."
- "You'll need to get connected to the Internet. You do that through the Internet." "An Internet? What's that?" "It's the Internet."
- "Now we need to open Bowser."
Johnny: I did not hit her. I did not. Oh, hi Mark.Michael Rosen (as Mark): Hello!Johnny: I have a problem with Lisa. She says that I hit her.Michael: Do you want an apple?Johnny: No, don't even ask.
- "The Room."
- "In a weedy little voice I say...RAISINS".
- Robotnik wants KFC. The whole video is a wonderful example of the kind of psycho-hilariousness that makes for the best YouTube Poops, but these examples stand out:
"Bring me the vile creature who drew this cartoon!""That's Mama Luigi to you, Robotnik!"
"The train will hit the tree, and the tree will change the switch, and then, when the train goes down that side track and hits that cliff, the tree will hit the switch, and the switch will change the train, and the train will hit the cliff, and the side track will hit the tree...""...and the bucket will change the chicken, and then, when the bucket of chicken hits the train, Robotnik's bucket of chicken gonna go boom, and then the switch will FINGERBANG the bucket of chicken, and then the SUPER SUCKING VACUUM TRAP will run into walls, and then Mama Luigi will be pincushioned to death, and then the bucket of chicken will go out with a BANG!"
Sonic: "You dudes lookin' for that speed-burnin' blue dude?"Scratch: "YEAAAAAAHHH"
- "Aren't I taller than tha-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a?"
- Sperms with frickin lazer beams
- Stu contemplates suicide at 4am:
- Stu: Fucking Angelica. Making chocolate pudding is my fucking life.
- Nobody Was Kung Fu Fighting.
- "I see you like to chew. You should chew ON MY DICK!"
- "You summoned me?" "Why would something be- Shit!" *CRAAAAAAAAAAAASH* O_o
- "Double the guards, double their weapons, double everything, DOUBLE NIGGER"
- "Only today- THE FURIOUS FIVE HOT STRIPTEASE NUDE SHOW! FOR WOMEN, MEN, DYKES, AND FAGS! (Also, the naming of the Dragon Warrior)"
- "I love YouTube Pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop!"
- Robotnik Grows Thumbs on his Earlobes
- Billy Mays Uses Magnets to Clean up his Fluids
- While it might not be up to snuff for the usual standards of a YouTube Poop, How the King Hired Link is a pretty entertaining Origins Episode for Link and the gang.
Gwonam: Your Majesty, Ganon and his minions have seized the island of Koridai.Zelda: C'mon! I'll go fight Ganon's evil legions!The King: Hmm...OHOHOHAHAHAHAHAHA..NO WAY!Gwonam: It is written: only Link can defeat Ganon.The King: Who the hell is Link?
The King: I'm going to fire you, mah boi.Zelda: No.The King: What? Why not?Annotation: Because falcomaster925 told you not to.The King: Fuck.
- There's also this bit:
- Free Meter (reupload)
- "If you have type 65 diabeetus, call 911."
- "Call 666185084020910516."
- "I hope you have diabeetus."
- Theo. LeSieg Visits a Victorian Slaughterhouse
- The GriirG
- Bring da noise!
- They're hanging Stocking. (What the fuck?!)
- He came Eee-yuck!
- Let's have sex! What?
- Anything anything anything anything under the saus
- Out-out-out of this house!
- SIX FOOT CAT
- Stupid little dinner.
- Quit fondling my ass!
- Green face. Green face? .ecaf neerG ?ecaf neerG The bagel.
- Willard and Katie torch New Jersey for science
Katie: Oh boy!
- "That's how I know it's coal!" ("Workin' in the coal mine, going down, down, down...")
- "I wanna go all the way with Katie!"
- "I just wanna make a note out there to JoJ..." Followed by a video of cs188 himself saying, "I understood that reference."
- Barney Smuggles Fireworks Across Multiple State Lines
- The FBI warning at the beginning switching to this picture◊ of Bender.
- "If Barney cums on your face, just-" "TURN AWAY AND SLAM THE DOOR!"
- "It's so nice to shit!" (cue clip of one of the characters stepping in poop)
- BJ throwing a TNT at a building, triggering an explosion.
- "Right now, let's listen as Barney takes a shit." (cue the same clip from before)
- Mr. Peabody and Sherman Spend Quality Time:
Young Anna: Do you wanna build a snowman?Penny: Nope.Young Anna: Oh shit.(Anna explodes, cue BSoD)
- "Mr. Peabody invented ear rape (NO HE DIDN'T)"
- "But the only thing harder then being the world's most extraordinary dog is being the world's most extraordinary DOGE"
- The end:
- Elsa Lets Her Sanity Go:
Anna: Arendelle's in deep shit!
- "Nanomachines never bothered me anywaaaaaaa- *error boxes appear*
- Elsa stepping on a mine turtle...and then a Goomba
- "Phuck u Frozen Cereal"
Elsa: I don't care! Go get me a Subway!
- "I don't give a fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!
- Olaf's face being replaced with that of a certain other Olaf.
- Frozen Cereal's entry for a Super Smash Bros. collab: Shulk Abuses The Monado's Power. Barely over a minute long, and is pure hilarity from start to finish.
Shulk: Now it's Shulk t-t-t-t-time! (Attempts to use the Monado Arts, only for the Monado to display strange images before showing a low battery symbol and Blue Screening) Oh shit...(gets attacked) AAUUUGGGHHHH!!!
- Anthony Fantano Destroys his career it's so funny it got the Approval of God. Some of its funnier moments are:
Nardwaur: "Anthony, right of the baba, I have for you a gift. It is something from your hometown" *Shows a picture of Broken CYDE* "The Death Grips"
- "Who are you?" "Cal Chuchesta here"
- This beautiful piece of sentence mixing.
Anthony: "I really, really don't like African-Americans at all"
Nardwaur: "You have a pretty impressive dick."
- And another
Anthony: "I've got a decent to strong 7"
Nardwaur: "You even have a record review of the Fleet Foxes, it has like nine views!"
Anthony: "Hopefully they fuck me in the butt."
Nardwaur: "Anthony, how are you so well spoken, you're so well spoken, you never go MOM or anything, how are you so well spoken?"
- And yet another.
* Anthony makes licking noises*
Anthony: "I mean, you know, it's like, you know, the way I talk on camera is just the way I'd envision myself, you know, talking to African-Americans, you know, do like a book report on an album, but I mean, like, you know?"
Nardwaur: "How many dicks do you take, what's the secret!?"
- And the ending:
Anthony: "I take twenty three in the butt and I beat my girlfriend."
- The Kings Epic Adventure, a YTP so big, it has its own page.
- Pac-Man Gets Belated on His Birthday:
Sue: Hey, where's Blinky?
Clyde: Aah, he probably saw The Hills and took off!
- Bagheera's Cognitive Development is in Question:
- Bagheera pulling the Duck Season, Rabbit Season bit on Mowgli.
- Robotnik Seduces Virtual Boy Yukari Into Handing Over the Love Machine:
- IOU A YTP
- Captain Hook Wins The Lottery. The whole thing.
Smee: FUCK OFF!!!
- "I'LL GET YOU, D'ARTAGNAN!!!"
- The Crocodile coming in to the tune of the theme from The Odd Couple, then comes how Smee gets rid of him.
Hook: Steeeeaaadyyy...Wendy: Oh Peter, it's just how I always dreamed—(explosion)Hook: SMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
- Hook firing a cannonball, missing Peter and instead hitting Colonel Sanders.
Hook: HOLD IT, YOU FOOL! NO! NO!(Smee shoots Hook; sad piano music plays as a Really Dead Montage rolls)
- The ending...
- Hades is Allergic to Lemons
- Malweegee Finds a Cure for Latm Molk, but primarily the beginning with Mario suggesting they teach the cavemen to play Super Smash Bros. Brawl and Ganon retorting that "Melee's the greatest", a jab at the franchise's Broken Base.
- Billy Balls trolls Devin WalshhslaW
Billy Mays: Hi, it's Billy.Herbert the Pervert: Where are you?Billy: In my car.Herbert: Haven't seen a newspaper in a couple days.Billy: No problem.Herbert: Wonderin' if you're ever gonna come back.Billy: Be there in 20 minutes.Herbert: Ya like popsicles?Billy: Fuck no. (turns Jupiter Jack off) In some states, jacking off is illegal. Using a cell phone and— (Jupiter Jack rings) — God damn it! What now, ass plug?Herbert: You little piggly son of a bitch!Billy: I'm gonna run over your balls with this car! (hangs up again) Jupiter Jack transmits— (Jupiter Jack rings again) You can suck my cock, gay fucker!Carla (over Jupiter Jack): It's Carla.
- "What the fuck, DC makes dildos? You bet your stupid ass they do! And they're the best in the biz."
- "Hey look everybody, it's professional cock-sucker Devun WalshhslaW."
- "HoH SiS!"
- "And join the craze with me, Woody Mays!"
- "Hi, Billy Illegal here! If you're ejaculating on a shower door, then you need Kaboom! Vroom! Call now and you'll receive not two, but one…"
- "…and we'll supersize this already incredible cock with 32-ounce bottles of semen." (And here come the generic sex jokes…) "It tackles your toughest shit stains without embarrassing hard-ons."
- "Call now and you'll receive ammonia. It's got the power to dissolve… what the fuck?" (Please stand by)
- The scene of Billy answering his Jupiter Jack.
- Dick Brimley talks about his doctor
- "My tongue felt like a horse ass."
- "So finally, at the urging of my fucking doctor, he said, 'Wilford, if you wanna get laid, I'm gonna give you a few things to do. Feel my butt with your dick. Uh, and I was really interested in that. So finally—" (SCENE REMOVED)
- "And I've slipped up and I've done people I shouldn't do." (NEXT SCENE, PLEASE…)
- "Yiff yiff yiff yiff. I like to say, we will, we will, rock you."
- Jesse gets violated by seagulls and kills Al Gore
- "Whores, 'Pops, whores eating 'Pops. Jesse Ventura's corrupt power!" (cue Nazi Germany footage)
- "I've been a perverted dinosaur, a woman beater, a sex offender, a seagull. I've fucked cocks that will blow your hole"
- "When I went up to the gates of the HAARP Facility, I learned that seagulls can get inside your ass. And here's what's worse: ELEVEN seagulls, up my hole."
- "The military? That's nothing, not when they've got Cockatoos."
- "You think you know the whole story? Nope, I've been fucking your mom." (Okay, Governor) "I'm Jesse Ven-fucking-tura."
- The "most chilling display of all": Al Gore dancing to "I'm Too Sexy" in the middle of the street.
- "It's time to launch the hunt, for the people robbing your cunt!"
- Dick Dastardly's unholy crusade against fugitive car-jacking bears
Narrator: While bringing up the rear is that bastard, Dick Dastardly.
Dick Dastardly: Go fuck yourself!
- Mick the Nazi
Michael Rosen: At school, we were doing a genocide. You know the kind of thing: The Final Solution. Racial discrimination. Gas.Michael Rosen: There we were reading: "How to kill hundreds and hundreds of kikes". And we made gas chambers and stuck Jews in the chambers. They were... "showers". Hehehe.
- Robotnik's Pingas Machine
Robotnik: I'm demoting you to pingas monkey third class. Now go and mop up the cum.Robotnik: Throw von Schlemmer in the cum!"
- Zelda Gets Breast Implants:
King: Zelda, you have no breasts!Zelda: What?King: You look like a boi!
- Robotnik Forces Jay Leno to Retire. Just the beginning with Robotnik saying "It's Howdy Doody time" out of an audience of kids. And of course the ending, which you're better off seeing yourself.
- Robotnik Posts a Reaction Image
- Robotnik Five-O
- The Beetlejuice styled opening. The fact that it takes up the first minute of the video causes Robotnik to point out that it was excessive.
- "Say hello to Doogie Howser MD!"
- "I'll blow CaptainFawful right out of YouTube!" *unsubscribed*
- Coincidentally CaptainFawful was suspended a while after this video was uploaded.
- Spike's Harmful Addiction:
Rainbow Dash: Tank's got a strict fucking regiment and someone needs to make sure he dosn't jack off while I'm away.
- Spike opening the door to see the music video for "Cirrus" by Bonobo.
- When Spike offers to petsit Tank:
Spike: Almost as beautiful as the pony who gave me head.(Sexual Healing starts again and Spike starts imagining Twilight Sparkle)
- And then when he receives a jewel:
Spike: Alas, it doesn't come cheap. I need about tree fiddy.
- When Spike offers to petsit Gummy:
- Spike the Bad Dragon:
Applejack: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT, you two?Apple Bloom: Applejack, we are eternal, the pinnacle of evolution, and existence. Before us, you are nothing.Applejack: Heh, get back in the kitchen.(Apple Bloom runs off. Applejack shoots her and she splatters on a hill in the background.)Smokey: YOU GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!
- After Spike hugs Applejack, she repsonds "We gonna fuck or what?"
- When Apple Bloom and Spike show her a giant pig with Wilford Brimley's face on it
Applejack: It just doesn't feel right to have you...doing me.Applejack: No.Applejack: No.Applejack: Okay, make it quick.
- Immediately afterwards:
- Getting Stoned at Canterlot High:
Human Twilight (with a realistic yet cartoony horse head): I'M A HORSE!Human Fluttershy: (a tree) What a story, Mark.
- Nuclear Launch Detected
Morshu: It's yours my friend, as long as you have MINERAAALZ!
Ganon: IT BURNS! (after being hit by a nuclear missile)
- Pizza Pie Legal Exchange
- The Running Gag in their Littlest Pet Shop poops involving Russell deleting things.
- PaperKirby is also frequently referenced.
- From Vinnie Terrio Takes Over the World:
Russell: Buttercream butt?Buttercream: Twinsie girls who were twinsie girls swiped PaperKirby before I could tell them about The Hub!"Zoe: Or maybe you thought that's what you sas.Buttercream: These eyes saw it in crystal-clear Buttercream vision!"This YouTube Poop has been presented in Crystal-Clear Buttercream Vision"
Vinnie: (the caption "Average Portal Fan" is above his head) I'm coming to make sure that cake doesn't lie, know what I'm saying?Russell, Zoe, and Buttercream: (the caption "Normal People With Lives" appear above them) Not really...Russell: We have time to figure it out.
- After that, when the pets are leaving:
Russell: The Biskit Twins? I'll have it deleted!
- The frequent "doo-doo" jokes.
- Gordon's Cruel Revenge:
I can only see three wheels :P
- "Sodor is an island with six small wheels"
- "He's a fussy little fuck! Always pulling cocaine for the big engines to take a lawl, and when trains (the "I Like Trains" Kid pops up) come in, he pulls the cocaine away and he pulls the big engines away so he can go rest."
- Thomas loves playing tricks on them, especially Flash Gordon.
- "Why does Thomas look so Chinese in this shot?"
- The Cat in the Hat is Not Good at Throwing Parties. It's a rather short poop, but quite funny. It's basically about two kids trying to throw a shitty birthday party for a fish, then the Cat shows up and all sorts of madness occurs.
Theme Singer: Hey!Russell: What?Theme Singer: Come over here!Two kids peering out the window crouch down
- From the intro:
- "Now all we have to do is fuck him!
- "And I would want upside-down shoes!" (no comment)
- When the cat shows up:
- Vinnie Terrio Watches Toddlers and Tiaras 2: Vinnie is Not In This One, particularly the scene where Blythe receives a letter from Bowser saying he's taken over the Mushroom Kingdom and the princess is in one of his hotels.
- "This is my master bedroom. And this is my master." (The Mighty Eagle appears)
- The Prince of the Middle of the Week Takes a Dump is too hilarious for words. Just watch it.
- A Minute Of Reflection. The entire thing.
- Saruman Has a Breach in His Wall:
- The Hey Pisanos Will Eat Your Heart Out
Toad: Happy Birthday cake for princess!King Koopa: What kind of cake?Toad: Birthday cake.King Koopa: What kind of birthday cake?Toad: Happy birthday cake.King Koopa: What kind of ''Happy'' birthday cake?Toad: THE HAPPY!King Koopa: Happy?Toad: Happy.
- MEI GOES FOR A WALK
- I'm so hungry, I could eat a INSERT PENIS JOKE HERE
- "Des-troy my fuck-ing face!"
- SUPER DUPER SUPER MEN
- The Penguin Loses Custody of His Penguins
- Mei Goes For a Super Duper Wacky Horny Laddie Men Walk 2
- SUPER HORNY LADDIE 3: THE JACKALS WITH SUPER STRONG COCKS
- This is mams! *beat* PINGAS!
- Lilek and the Doom of Friends. The exaggerated tones of the voices makes it hard not to laugh.
Link: Goddammit, it's so boring here, I wanna go home!The King: My son, this is your home and you're going to stay here until you're 18.Link: I wanna leave!
- GASTON GETS CHUTLEY DISEASE AND THE HOIP WHILE HE WINS A BRONZE MEDAL IN WRESTLING:
- When I was a lad I was a homosexual, so I was a bitch, and now that I'm straight, I fuck four dozen LeFous.
- "Don't forget your umbrella!"
- GASTON FORGOT HIS UMBRELLA
- GO HAVE SOME F*CKING HAPPY COFFEE SUS!
- Tender white meme!
- I buy this for only $9.99! BLASPHEMY
- Fuck this shit!
- What do you have to say for yourself, you, YOU.... B*TCH!
- *cut to I.M. Meen raping the panda in question*
- Sagwa: What's that? Dongwa: Huh?
- MY WALLET'S GONE! MY WALLET'S GONE!
- Gaston rapes LeFou cereal recommended for children under -12 guaranteed to get rid of the hoip
- WELL FUCK
- "If you will not bow before a SUS, then you will cower before a SAUS!" EXTREME SAUCE JOKE
- ROBOTNIK IS BEAUTIFUL NATURE
- FUCKING YIFF
- He's had sex everyday for the last 10 years!
- That's my distant cock!
- The Ultimate Hoip Of Hoips: Fern's Christmas Party
- Throw Things At Simon with special guest host: Link!
- Buy some rapists!
- How do you like my house? Well, I GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
- Soon after he left, Nick died in a horrible car accident
- HOLY Sample Text BATMAN. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN. YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!
- Can't be too careful with all those *Disney Acid Sequence* around.
- Eeee-eeee, you know I am a righteous COCKFUCKER, destroy my idiot testicles! *immense pain* Be me or she will be Paris!
- I'm going home. *walks home* GET OUT OF MY HOUSE BEFORE I KILL YOU!
- PHIL! Ah, ahhaMoving Pictures!
- Eat the boat, raar, then he crapped money, then he beat the crap out of Earth!
- Yes, I could have put a D at the end of that, or an H and an I in the middle of the S and T, but...hey, being funny isn't my thing.
- MIKE AND BRETT GENT, released following an extremely long hiatus due to a copyright scare in the summer of 2011 that led to him setting all of his videos to private until he released the video in late December.
- VIVIAN LISTENS TO RED WHILE FUCKSTONE LOSES HIS HEAD
- My kid is dead.
- wow his kid just reincarnated into the flower and he just killed him again wow dad why won't you do that to me
- Hey, that's a lot of work. WORK?!
- Spider-Man asking Superman if gun safety is important, then Superman replying that he doesn't know.
- You took the ice penis right out of my rotting cunt!
- The Foodfight! scene where Mr. Clipboard sentences Leonard to a "Groundhog Day" Loop:
- Spingebubble & Billy Mays go on a marketing competition
- " Hmm, I wonder what's for dinner." "Spaghetti!" "Dinner." "Spaghetti!" "Mama Luigi! Mama Luigi! Mama Luigi-"
- [Patrick opens the door] "I love you. Let's get naked!"
- "This is L-O-L with number one rock star Ned Big-Tits, performing his number one rockin' sauce, 'I Suck Bitches'! So what do you have to say to all these fucking fans that totally suck?" "I say, let's RaaR!" [cocks his guitar, plays Through the Fire and Flames]
- "With Billy Mays, you'll finally be saying: I can have affordable weed"
- "It'll keep your face from getting any uglier!" [cue a white box with a "Your least favorite selfie" written on it] "Just in time!"
- The mere fact that there is a weed-related joke at 4:20.
- Billy Mays Oxi Cleans the battlefield!
- The Ozard of Wiz
Michael: Now, I want you to murder the Witch of the Weast!Tinman: But if we do that, we'll have to kill her!Michael face palmsMichael: You haven't heard a word I've said, have you?
- The Wicked Witch of the Weast's obsession with matresses.
- She also has a tendency to botch her dramatic exits. One such incident prompts Glinda to say the witch is gone when she's clearly still there.
- "Who killed my sister, who killed the witch of the East!? Was it a mattress!?" "No, no! It was an ax!"
- How scarily well the choreography for "Off to See The Wizard" fits with Gangnam Style.
- Some of the things Scarecrow said upon meeting Dorothy:
- The Tinman's reason for not coming? Bangarang.
- The Witch's rhymes.
- Michael Rosen as the Ozard!
- Aunt Em singing "Ode to Joy".
- "There's the Emerald City! Oh, we're almost there, at last, at last! Oh, we're there!"
- The Wicked Witch of the Weast's obsession with matresses.
- The Obligatory 1241 Subscriber Special:
- Mario and Luigi in the Footballstone
Luigi: "Hey, Mario! Look what I made!"
Mario: "It's a stone, Luigi! You didn't make it! You didn't make it! You didn't—You didn't—You didn't make it!"
Luigi: "It's a football! I chiseled it!"
Mario: "It's a stone, Luigi!"
Luigi: "It's a football!"
Mario: "It's a stone, Luigi!"
Luigi: "It's a football!"
Mario: "It's a stone, Luigi!"
Luigi: "It's a—"
Mario: "—STONE, LUIGI."
- YouTube Poop demands adult content of a children's show
- YouTube Poop challenges an entire university
- Youtube Poop analyses popular culture for a moment
- "I've been speaking to the foul writer and director Armando Iannucci about the foul film which contains the kind of strong language that aggressive foul-mouthed viewers will recognize."
- Robotnik's Random Garfield Cartoon Generator:
- CRUNCH CRUNCH! CRUNCH CRUNCH!
- The Princess Will Marry The Bagel.
Jafar: The princess will marry me!Sultan: But you're so old.Jafar: The princess will marry me!Sultan: But you're so old.Jafar: Tell me more about my PINGAS.Jasmine: And your PINGAS is so...twisted...Sultan: But you're so old.
- The guards dancing to "Never Gonna Give You Up".
- A very talented pooper with flawless sentence mixing, able to construct seemingly impossible sentences from the CDi sources that many assumed had been taken to their limits. His masterpiece is undoubtedly Gwonam Buys an X-wing on eBay:
Gwonam: Your Majesty! Where the hell are you going!?King Harkinian: I'm under attack!Gwonam: Approach carefully and fire photon torpedoes.King Harkinian: OAH! What photons!?Gwonam: Uh... I meant proton.
- Another standout work is the Alternate Endings to the CDi games, poking fun at the Bag of Spilling.
Gwonam: Ganon seized Koridai.Link: Great! I'll grab my stuff!Gwonam: There is no time! Your sword is enough.Link: You sure? I've got like five or six quests worth of stuff in the back. I could—Gwonam: We do not have the time. Go get your sword.Link: But I've got eight pouches of bombs.Gwonam: All you need is your sword.Link: Can I just—Gwonam: You defeat Ganon by throwing a book. Now get on the fucking carpet.Link: But—Gwonam: Squadalah, we're off!Link: I—Gwonam: SQUADALAH!
- The Price Is Not Right is pretty great as well.
Gwonam: Here is the map! (opens the map to reveal that it's all blue on the inside) ...It's fucking useless.
- Something Evil This Way Comes is a crossover between the Zelda CDi games and I. M. Meen.
- Harkinian Goes to Court, which is a crossover between Zelda CDi and the Ace Attorney games. iteachvader simply nails the humor of Ace Attorney.
Phoenix Wright: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Miles Edgeworth: NNGHOOOH! WRIGHT! What the hell was that!?
- Also, this little bit of dialogue, with the King being himself:
King (text): LOL I LRND 2 TXT WITH MY MOUTH!! WHT DO U THINK?
Wright: I KNOW it's not funny.
King (text): ...Spoilsport.
- Also, this little bit of dialogue, with the King being himself:
- Return of the Meen.
Gwonam: Link, that was Meen!
Link: My bad. I'll go apologize.
Gwonam: No, Link. I meant I.M. Meen.
Link: Then you're a dick.
Gwonam: Oh for Christ's sake...
- In When Link Shows Up Late, Gwonam tells the king there's a fire in his house, to which the king responds that he left the stove on. Cue dramatic music... coming from a record player that Ganon has. Gwonam zaps Ganon away.
The King: Remind me never to piss you off...
(Gwonam flies away, breaking a window)
The King: You're going to pay for that!
The King: Cheap-ass.
- Harkinian Seeks Pleasure:
Gwonam: Why do you take my stuff?
King: This shit's old as hell.
Gwonam: Correction: these are antiques!
- Stephen and Teal Move to Ponyville
Mrs. Pepper: Who has more apples? Me, or Mr. Salt?Applejack: Don't you use your fancy mathematics to muddy the issue!
- My Little Bat Guano
Voice: We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stay tuned.Freakazoid!: Are we all clear? Okay, we're all clear. Alright, hit the red button.(beep)Freakazoid: NO! NOT THAT BUTTON!(scene plays in fast-foward)
- The beginning, involving a battle between Applejack and the Teletubbies sun, culminating in "MY EYES!".
Applejack Look at all those assholes. Ripe and...
Flutterbat: Juicy...and sweet...(beginning of "Sweet Dreams" starts playing)
- STOP!...hammer time.
- The ENTIRE Pop the Pig sequence.
- The second commercial break, which is just the Littlest Pet Shop cast coming out of a bush and back in.
- How the author gets out of pooping the scene where the mane five turn Flutterbat back to normal.
- JonTron Watches "Mom" the hit PS1 Classic
- JonTron playing a cassette tape, only for it to start showing him a scene from Hatsune Miku Project Diva with Danny Sexbang and Ross put in.
- When he ejects the tape immediately afterwards, it flies out of the player and smacks him across the face.
Jon: Well, if you wanna say it like that, I mean, I guess that's how it's gonna be...
- "Okay, it's HoH SiS!" ("JoJ!")
- EEEEAAAAUUUUUAAAAHHHH. Pretty much anything involving the titular weird noise. Also Luigi:
Mario: We gotta save the princess!Luigi: And, youuuuuuuuu...
- What is Spaghetti?
King Harkinian: All true warriors strive for cum.Gwonam: It is written: Only Link can strive for cum.Link: Great, I'll give head!
Mario: We gotta [bleep] Bowser!Luigi: And you gotta [bleep] spaghetti!Mario: If you need instructions on how to [bleep] Bowser, check out my seven Koopa hotels.Luigi: And [bleep] spaghetti!Mario: No.Luigi: [Bleep] you and [bleep] spagheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetti!
- "Zelda, [bleep] you."
- The CD-i characters singing Haddaway's "What Is Love".
- Racial Toon Wreaks Havoc
Bosko: I gotta pee....right there.Animator: There you are. (begins drawing a toilet)(cut to a card reading "Soon, his waste is disposed!")
- Bosko doing a 1929-style "firin' mah lazah" face.
- Bosko being redrawn as Sonic the Hedgehog.
- When the animator asks Bosko if he can make the audience laugh.
- JeoppoeJ Episode 2
Alex Trebek: Joshua Allen is Joshua Allen. You have command of the board. Three categories remain in play. Select.Joshua: "The Things of Nature" for $200, please.Alex: No. Advertising Election Criticism. "What little cock a hippopotamus has, to rotate 270 degrees, is mostly on its tail."
- "On CNN's erection map, Illinois made this self-described 'skinny kid with a funny name' the giraffe mascot for Toys 'R' Us."
- Jeoppoej 3: Stop Using This Source God Please No
- "Call now. 1337."
- "And our returning champion: a Massachusetts teacher from Somerville, College Physics, Whacks Cock, whose 146,200 day cash winnings total $5."
- Alex Trebek's head inflating and then exploding.
- "One chapter in her book is 'Fuck Your Grandparents'."
- "In 196 Gnee Shi-Vedge this Hyenabet currency was at 360 to the dollo; today, it's under 100."
- "Celebrity Memoirs for $1,000." (blank clue comes up)
- Jeopardy! Season 92 premiere
Alex: (reading clue) "This Oscar winner." Alison?Alison: Who is Hutton?Alex: No. Diane or Vamsi?(beep beep beep)Alex: Who is Timothy Hutton?
- "And these are the categories to start off the new season: 'Grrrrrrrrrr—'" (dialog box comes up reading "Alex Trebek has stopped responding. Windows can try to restart the program" with the options "This joke is old" and "Debug the program".)
- On the next turn, Alison hitting a Daily Double, whose clue reads just "This Oscar-Winning daughter."
- "On a clear day, I live in my donut, man."
- When the category "September" is revealed in Double Jeopardy!, audio is dubbed in from this notorious Family Feud clip.
- "I'll get you, my pretty, and cry havoc, and just one dog."
- The Jaws music playing when the inflatable shark appears behind Alex.
- Even years after its popularity has faded, "The Balls Are Inert" is still a piece of comic genius.
- "We had a teacher who was so strict, you weren't allowed to wank in her snatch."
- The Michael Rosen Wank.
- Michael getting blown by his grandmother.
- Babyshitter 2, The Revenge of Mikhael Rosenburg:
- "When I get an erection with my fat cock, if there's one thing I love it's Ms. Goodall's snatch!"
- "Once, a boy called Adolf came to school, and said I HATE JEWS!"
- Michael watching the first Babyshitter and killing himself. Only to come back and declare that he can't be killed because he's Michael Rosen.
- Mum's on the Floor, Dead. Every single moment of it.
- Serious About Sausage
- Michael Rosen singing Friday and Baby.
- "We'll, I'm very serious about sausage. I'm not quite sure where they came from, but the first sausage was a snowman."
- "I read in a book that Harrybo's mom slept with everybody in Islington. Male, female... Harrybo'd hear us saying this and he'd go, look, this isn't fair."
- "George said sometimes my dad watches Harrybo's mom strip on the telly. Then I said, what does your mother say about that?. And George didn't say anything. Clarence said his mom is probably about 120 years old."
- Michael and his Brother Take a Walk on Stabby Downs:
- Michael getting upset at the electronic music (The Prodigy's "Omen") in the opening. The author then shows him lounging to "The Fragrance of Dark Coffee" instead.
- "The Lemonade Boy Rap. You may think I'm horny, you may think I'm alright, you may think I'm the fastest in the land!, you may think I'M TALKING, but hang on to your grandad and listen right here, I'm gonna tell you something that'll burn your village."
- Michael prank calling Bryan Mills.
- Jack Black Shows Us His Cocktagon: The "Tribute" music video being edited to be about Jack Black's Sesame Street appearance.
- Let's just say that his Thomas the Tank Engine poops will leave you in stitches.
- Pursee & the Faulty Facelifts, as the Fat Controller introduces Daisy to Percy and Toby.
The Fat Controller: This is Daisy, the evil railcar.Daisy: Screw you, you smelly bastard!The Fat Controller: Fine! This is Daisy, the lazy railcar.Daisy: That's better! (beat) Hey!Percy: Ha, ha, ha!Toby (thinking): Holy crap, that Daisy is hot!Daisy (with a distorted face): Nyey!
- The dance scene set to "You Can't Touch This" is nothing short of hilarious.
- "This is dreadful!"
- Tomuss & The Bloody Confusing Day
- "Hello, Thomas!" said Thomas. "This is Trevor, a traction engine." "A WHAT engine?!" Trevor asked. "A traction engine," explained Thomas. "You run on roads instead of rails." "WHAT?!" Trevor was still puzzled.
- Sir Topham Hatt dancing to "Highway to the Danger Zone"
- "Donald and Douglas are twins!" (Both make O Faces) The twins were surprised.
- "You see what I mean, my dear Edward?" "Poop!" (Gordon makes an O Face)
- Tumass Clones Go Bonkers!
- "Thomas is a Thomas engine who lives at a Big Station on the Island of Thomas. He's a cheeky little engine with six small Wills, short stumps short stumps sht stms sh-h-h-h-ho-o-ort-t-t stu-u-u-u-mp-p-ps-s-s-s short stumps and a stumpy cock."
- "Thomas thought he was being clever, but he was really retarded. He soon found his mistake. He tried to fart, but he couldn't. He just kept barrel rolling along."
- Purcy Discovers Something Retarded: James tries to explain why he hasn't got up yet.
James: The fat tosser sent me a message in a bottle this morning! (Yeah.)Stationmaster: He did not! HE DID NOT!James: Oh! (Suddenly realising Percy had set him up) OH! Where's Percy?!(Cut to Percy annoying Gordon)Percy: DERRRERRRERRRERR...
- Thomis, Terinse, & The Baking Powder
Terrence: Hello! ('said the tractor') I'm a tractor!Thomas: I'm Thomas, I'm a Thomas. What ugly eyes you've got!Terrence: (Eyes are now inflated) They're not ugly!Thomas: PUH! You look like an Anime f***t!Terrence: (In Gratuitous Japanese) DON'T DISRESPECT THE ANIME FANBASE...OTHERWISE I'LL BURY YOU IN SNOW YOU POOPYHEAD!!!(Beat)Terrence: Hello! I'm a Terrence! ('said Terrence')Thomas: P-P-P-P-P-P-PUH! WHEEEEEEEESH!Terrence: What in the fu-!
- This exchange between Thomas and Terrence the Tractor early in the video:
Narrator: The snowplow was heavy and uncomfortable and made Thomas ssorc. He shook it, and he banged it, and he banged it...Thomas: (makes an O Face)
- The snowplow scene
- Oh, My Guard!
Narrator: The Stationmaster was about to do his children.Trevor: That's disgusting!
- Mario & Luigi's Quest For Cupcakes: the King sends the Mario Bros. to Ponyville to get cupcakes, and they run into the ponies and hijinks occur.
Mario(To Twilight Sparkle): By the way, your hair reminds me of Stocking.(Picture of Stocking appears as Twilight looks confused)Twilight Sparkle: I don't get it.
- Ultimate Dinner Blaster Over 9000, the debut of HarCATSian.
- The sequel, Ultimate Dinner Blaster 2000 BC Version 4.0 BETA BITCH.
- Billy Mays' Sexcapades
- "Has this ever happened to you? You had to leave town suddenly. Just got in the car and drove far from home. And you're scoring with a 350-pound whore live on TV…"
- "Carla takes it right in the ass. Shit's so cash!"
- "What do you do when you're away at school and can't jack off to your favorite whores on TV? Billy Mays here for P-E-N-I-S 360.com! It's the live sex you want, wherever you are! When term papers are sucking, see who's fucking!"
- "You can turn Billy Mays on with the flick of a switch. Wiwiwiwiwiwiwi. WITH THE FLICK OF A SWITCH."
- (high chipmunk voice) "IT HAS THE STRENGTH, TO TAKE TARNISH OFF THIS GIANT, MEDIEVAL SWORD! NOW THAT'S THE POWER OF—" (normal voice) "Billy Mays' balls."
- "This is Billy Mays, and I'm pulling around to stick it in your pooper!"
- "Take a look at this cock, it's a doozy! Get on the bed! OhOhOhOh CumCumCum" (Content censored. For full uncensored video please visit PENIS360.com).
- "Woah, that was an experience. Where's my blowjob? What is this I don't even!"
- "Greasy Potatoes"
Billy Mays: Everyone loves cupcakes.Apple Bloom: Not the cupcakes! Trust me.Billy Mays: Eat the damn cupcakes right now, or I'll eliminate Equestria! (Pinkamena appears behind him)
- "Wow, all this furniture attracts moms like a fuckin' magnet!"
- "Orange Glo easily removes grease and grime from grease and grime. It's even tough enough to break down grease and grime from stickers without damaging the grease and grime. And with a fresh orange scent, you'll be grease and grime."
- Billy Mays' hand slamming down a "sold" sticker on the oven in the greasy spoon diner.
- "Why am I smashing my hand with this hammer? To show you the amazing protection you get from smashing my hand with this hammer. And this hammer is smashing my hand."
- "Are you tired of shitting french fries like I do? Watch this. Insert $100 into the back of Billy Mays' asshole, then simply watch as Billy Mays shits mountains of french fries in seconds."
- "You can chop your kids to make thick chunky salsa, salad, tacos, vegetable trays, coffee, chicken salad, ham salad, Cupcakes, ice cream, and your hands never touch the blood."
- "HI BILLY MAYS HERE TO SHARE WITH YOU WHY LEGENDARYSAGE IS FAILING TO MAKE VIDEOS"
- "Just watch as I totally demolish the head of this asshole!" (uses a sander to destroy Vince Offer's head)
- "Does your toilet have ring around the ring around the RING AROUND THE RING AROUND THE RING AROUND THE"
- "Hi, sir Billy Mays here for the Big City Sword! Look at this: 80,000 Attack, 350 Strength, 360 Health, 160 Magic!"
- "Jacuzzi bazooka!"
- "LegendarySage is a supercharged asshole who'll take forever to make shit because Runes Of Magic has taken over LegendarySage's life. That's right. So get on runesofmagic.com today, and join the craze with me, LegendarySage, or I'll take a Big City shit in your hard drive!"
- "Phil Swift here for Flex Seal, the easy way to coat and seal—" (gets impaled by a Big City Sword) "That's the power and protection of the Big City Sword!"
- Billy Mays Hits Puberty While Cooking Calcium, Lime, and Rust Burgers
- "With the Slider Station, just scoop, press, and cook right on your toilet!"
- "Topped with pickles, onions, ketchup, or cheese, Big City Sliders have harsh fumes!"
- "The triple-sided chicken-stick surface is so slick, not even buuuuurrrrnnt oooooon chheeeeeeeeese will stick!"
- "Make healthy calcium, lime, and rust burgers with ease, and join the craze with me, BBBBBBBBBBBBBBB!"
- Billy Mays Raves With the Best Product He Has Ever Pulled Out of the Infinite Void in His Ass
- "Hi, bitches! Billy Mays here. Does your toilet have hard cum stains or a ring of shit that keeps coming back? Now you can throw away your toilet and never shit in your toilet again! Introducing toilet paper! Just wipe your ass! Maybe it's that easy."
- "I know what you're thinking: Billy Mays is high on crack."
- "Hi, Billy Mays here to share with you, the best product I have ever pulled out of my ass. Big City Grater is not an ordinary grater, but a superpowered grater that can grate anything. Watch this: grate laundry with ease. There's no wrong way to use it! Pass it around the toilet and grate as you shit."
- Billy Mays dancing to "Sandstorm"
- "Call right now, and I'll triple the offer, and send you agonizing discomfort!"
- [four Billy Mays videos at once] "But call right now..." "...and I'll shit in your washer, while it cleans over 5 loads. Laundry just got shittier."
- "Watch this." (fails to get car door open) "Screw my car!"
- "Using a turnip and driving isn't safe, and in some states, it's even a seagull."
- "I love Fluttershy, don't you?"
- The end cameo from Radicalfaith360.
- Radicalfaith360 moves out and shit
- "So some of you are probably wondering, where the hell have I had sex? Well, I have sex on a prison bunker. I think it'll be best if I really just really just pump it out in this room." "Are you shittin' me?"
- "That was probably the longest dick I've had between videos." (censor bar appears)
- "I've actually secured uh, or am closing a deal on a Nazi concentration camp."
- "It's been a long time since I had a shit. So other than when I got together with cs188 and shit on cs188 and…"
- "Radicalfaith360 here for Concentration!"
- "And the person who recommended the concentration camp to me is none other than DaNazis1! And if you haven't subscribed to DaNazis1 yet, I highly recommend it. Very good shitter. Uh, very clean dicks. You see the sex in his videos. He uses profanity but he doesn't use profanity. It's N-I-G-G-A-S A-N-D S-H-I-T number one."
- Billy Mays starts a sex hotline (Sexcapades II)
- Uh ohho hU Uh ohho hU Uh oh! That'll leave a mark! And another! And another!"
- "Sucking that hardon is as easy as 1-2-3! You just push—" (NOPE)
- "Finally, sex you can actually afford!"
- "This bitch is fucking cray-cray."
- "And I'm not talking about some whore from Motel 6, I'm talking about real bitches with big titties, wet vaginas, or both. Flubber boat."
- "Billy Mays attracts bitches like Tyler Perry and chicken attracts black people!"
- "But I'm not done yet! Call Sundays, and you'll receive our amazing double penetration! Moms are gonna love two dicks on a busy school morning!"
- "And I still never got a blowjob!"
- Billy Mays Gets Pissed and Uses His Arsenal of Products to Pound Every Car and Truck Made
- "Fuck your car!" (pound)
- "With Mighty Putty, you just pound like dough. Simply knead to activate, apply and pound your car."
- Butt Mash's Adventure into Madness
- C4 juice box.
- "I have something for you..." "It's your father's butt!" (AHHHHHH) Have fuuf!"
- "CHOO! CHOO! CHOO! CHOO!"
- "I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy-" *BOOM*
- "This Dickbutt is getting ridiculous."
- "I love morning wood."
- "It even covers those annoying Knicks"
- JUST SLIDE JUST SLIDE JUST SLIDE
- Billy Mays Gets Road Rage While Advertising a Non-Working Radio Broadcaster
- "Instead of hearing the other person, you hear music!"
- "In my car, the Jupiter Jack sucks. I need to shit." PFFFFFHHHHHT "Using a cell phone and shitting isn't safe. And in some states it's even illegal."
- "I don't feel safer because I have to hold my cell phone while I drive." "It doesn't matter. Driving is illegal."
- "But I'm still not done." (beat) "I'm done."
- Billy Mays discovers dickburgers
Jack Black: (walking down the street) Oh man!
- The intro:
- "Billy Mays here for Billy Mays' Titty Delicious Ass Burgers! Squishin' and squishin' and squishin' and SQUISHIN' and SQUISHIN'"
- "So slick. Just poop cheese, and watch your family attack your family!"
- "You don't need a cabinet full of cabinets. You need a cabinet full of Negroes."
- "With Billy Mays, you'll finally be saying: 'I can cook delicious mouth watering dickburgers with two thumbs up my ass!'"
- "Putty. Putty. Putty. Putty. Apply and support up to — NOTHING"
- "Work at work? That's much better than Men at Work." ("Down Under" plays on the guy's computer, then suddenly front-reverses over and over) "That's much better than pork at work."
- "Ba-con-egg-and-cheese. Ba-con-egg-and-cheese."
- Billy Mays goes for a peaceful morning drive
Anthony Sullivan: Hi, Anthony Sullivan here.Billy Mays: Anthony, why are you using a cellphone and driving?Anthony Sullivan: My Snake extends to over three feet!Billy Mays: anthon plz.
- "Previously on Billy Mays!"
- (types "HI BILLY MAYS HERE, LOOKING FOR SEXY PORN" into Google) "Alright ... what? You shittin' me? There's no kinky videos! What do you do when you get blue balls, and you can't watch your favorite porn on the internet?"
- This exchange
- "Stop waiting for expensive—" (crash) "Uh oh, that'll leave a Mark!"
- Carla refuses to have sex with Billy: "That's it. I'm pulling around to kill you!" (Cue Saints Row machinima)
- "Rub Anthony Sullivan's hot dog in the caroracoolkoracoolk"
- "Just toss and go take a shit in the dishwasher!"
- "Use it for reaching up high, or for picking up down high, or for getting high."
- "That's right!" *smash* "That's right!" *smash* "That's right!" *smash* "That's right!" *smash*
- One Winter Evening
- The boys thought it fun to stone Henry until he was dead.Fireman: "Call the police!""No," said Henry's driver. "We're not tattletales." So they went home, leaving Henry. "Goodbye, Henry." Next morning, some birds tore out Henry's liver.
- The Soothing Sound of a Self-Loathing Luffa:
- I have a confession to make... (sucks SpongeBob's nose)
- Patrick being a Muslim.
- Mr. Krabs spouting a stream of nonsense at SpongeBob while the Lavender Town theme plays.
- °°°°° soliloquy for subterranean (ᵇᵒᵇ) °°°°°
SpongeBob: OH MY GOD!
- Mr. Krabs lands on top of Squidward. Unfortunately, Reality Ensues as Squidward ends up wearing a full-body cast.
- SpongeBob burning his hand on the grill.
- At the end, a narrator apologizes for how bad the poop was and decides to literally undo any damage by playing it backwards. And they do.
- The Assignment
SpongeBob: I am about to write the greatest fanfic of all time! (imagines an animated version of "Cupcakes")
- Dirty Dollar: "Hey Squidward, want me to castrate you?"
- The Incredibly Mundane Life of Pac-man: 36 seconds of pure win.
- FUCK THIS, SHUT UP!
- The masterpiece of sentence mixing that is "Ice Ice Brimley":
Wilford Brimley: I've got fifteen or twenty problems, but a bitch is not one.