Funny: You Tube Poop Authors D To L
- Friendship is De Magiks, particularly the "years of apple fucking" bit with Saria's Song.
- Super Applebloom 64 is hilarity from beginning to end.
Apple Bloom: We're still sisters, right?
Applejack: Um, actually, I...
Big Mac: I'm a Jew.
(Applejack has a Swastika
for a cutie mark).
Applejack: Why of all the why-uh-why-uh!
- Immediately following that:
Pinkie Pie: Stop with the shish! It's time to get naked!
- The ending. The credits roll with no music, and after a while, someone shouts "WHAT THE FUCK?"
- Dipper Plays Video Games:
Dipper: Grunkle Stan, whenever I suck your cock, I feel like I'm not straight.
Dipper: Well, Wendy, I just want you to know that people make steaks. And when they do, you should fuck them.
Wendy: Dude, you lost me.
Dipper: *throws a baseball at her*
Wendy: AH! MY EYE!
- God Burns Down Equestria for Insurance Money
- Although DinnerWarrior's better poop is undoubtly "Gaston and Frollo get a life", I hold a special fondness for "Link offends a terrorist". I'm not going to quote either of them because Frollo will get pissed.
- I'll quote anyway: "Beata Maria, you know I am a HOLY SHIT MY HAIR IS ON FIRE"
- I'll take that risk as well:
Monsieur D'Arque: I'm loving it. *Ronald McDonald appears*
Gaston: Have it your way. *The Burger King appears*
- So shall I:
- Me too:
Frollo: Hellfire- *whoosh* The fire is out. *punch* Ow, my hip! *punch* Ow, my spine!
- Gaston and Lefou's argument over who saw Saw.
- Gaston f***ing Osaka in the ass and then getting her pregnant.
- The surprise cameo of Doctor Rabbit.
- Disney Villains Shouldn't Give Or Get Sex Changes.
You're here, because you have a thing
for this "Prince" fellow. Ariel (in Mario's voice):
The prince is gay. Ursula:
That's right! The only way to get Mr. Prince... is to become a man! Ariel:
Can you do that? Ursula: ~
I admit that in the past I've been a bitch. / They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a pimp. / But you'll find that nowadays / I've mended all my ways / Repented, seen the light and made a switch to decaf! (Cuts to Gaston with four arms!) Ursula:
Before the sun sets on the third day, you've got to get Deepercutt
to fall in love with you. That is, he's got to fuck you
. But if he doesn't, you turn back into a woman, and Krobo Productions belongs... to me. Sebastian: RUN!!!!! FUCKING RUN!!!!!
- The Scout Tries to Hit on Haruhi
U.S Army Air Field
No. of Planes...[CENSORED]
What Men Think...[CENSORED]
- Then there's the part where the aforementioned event in the title takes place:
Haruhi: I don't have any time for ordinary humans!
Scout: Do you have any idea who I am?
Haruhi: Not really.
Scout: I'm basically...kind of a big deal.
Haruhi: Not really.
Scout: (while flexing his muscle) Aw man, that's beautiful.
Haruhi: Not really.
Scout: You listening?
Haruhi: Not really.
Scout: I'm a force of nature.
Scout: I-I- don't even know where to start.
Haruhi: Shut up!!
(Haruhi kicks the Scout)
- Link Discovers Ganon's Least Favorite Color.
King: Link, where's the pizza I saved for dinner?
Link: Yeah, like you need more to eat, you fat, old king.
King: What did you say?!
Link: I said you're a glutton.
King: I'm warning you, boy!
Link: *throws rubber chicken*
King: Stop throwing shit at me!
Link: *throws potato*
Link: Fat, fat, fat!
King: *throws dictionary*
Gwonam: Your majesty. Link is in space.
Gwonam: And it is written: Only Link can defeat Ganon.
King: Why Link?
Gwonam: It is written here.
Morshu: Who wrote it?
Gwonam: ... That is of no concern of yours.
- Robotnik Watches My Little Pony, mostly because of Robotnik's reaction to watching it.
- Dan Backslide shows up to demonstrate "a look at a typical brony", and to bring the "Confound those ponies, they drive me to drink!" meme full circle.
: CONFOUND those ponies! They drive me to drink! NO ONE must EVER KNOW!
- Fluttershy breaking up the big fight scene near the end. "WAAAAAIT! Cupcaaaaakes!"
- All is made extra funny when you realize that Robotnik's reaction was probably the same as every Brony who watched the show for the first time.
- The spy's reluctant request. The best parts are the knife jumping back up from the floor to hurt the Scout, the Soldier telling the Scout about having had sex with his mother and the musical Stinger at the end.
- This bit from Mama Luigi Bends Physics
- The Heavy needs therapy...Badly
Some people say I touch myself. Maybe. *Cue to Heavy touching himself*
- Yuki Nagato's Anger Management
Haruhi: (while grabbing Mikuru's boobs)I touch what I want!
(is hit in the face by a breast implant) I always knew those things were fake.
- While it might not be up to snuff for the usual standards of a YouTube Poop, How the King Hired Link is a pretty entertaining Origins Episode for Link and the gang.
Gwonam: Your Majesty, Ganon and his minions have seized the island of Koridai.
Zelda: C'mon! I'll go fight Ganon's evil legions!
Gwonam: It is written: only Link can defeat Ganon.
The King: Who the hell is Link?
The King: I'm going to fire you, mah boi.
The King: What? Why not?
Annotation: Because falcomaster925 told you not to.
The King: Fuck.
(aka Third Rate Gamer
- Free Meter (reupload)
- "If you have type 65 diabeetus, call 911."
- "Call 666185084020910516."
- "I hope you have diabeetus."
- Shit Odor
- "Hi, Billy Mays here for Shit Odor! The first time you use it, you'll be saying, 'Wow, a yard sale!'"
- "It's unsafe. It eliminates children and pets. Spray it around the litter box and you'll say, 'Oh shit, my pet cat is gone!'"
- "This is my cock, the worst smell of all! I'll spray my cock down with some What Odor, and it gets rid of the worst smell of 'em all, my cock! That's the power of What Odor! Oh shit, my cock is gone! Go spend hundreds on products that don't work. I don't care now that my cock is gone!"
- Mighty Poopy
- "…The smelly way to fix, fill, and seal virtually anything fast, and make it smell like ass!"
- "Ordinary food makes you poop ordinary poop. Mighty Poopy makes you poop a whopping six pound bucket of green and white shit epoxy."
- "Remember, hammer smashing Carla's hand is something you can't do with glue!" beat "Nor with Mighty Poopy, come to think of it."
- Billy Balls trolls Devin WalshhslaW
- "What the fuck, DC makes dildos? You bet your stupid ass they do! And they're the best in the biz."
- "Hey look everybody, it's professional cock-sucker Devun WalshhslaW."
- "HoH SiS!"
- "And join the craze with me, Woody Mays!"
- "Hi, Billy Illegal here! If you're ejaculating on a shower door, then you need Kaboom! Vroom! Call now and you'll receive not two, but one…"
- "…and we'll supersize this already incredible cock with 32-ounce bottles of semen." (And here come the generic sex jokes…) "It tackles your toughest shit stains without embarrassing hard-ons."
- "Call now and you'll receive ammonia. It's got the power to dissolve… what the fuck?" (Please stand by)
- The scene of Billy answering his Jupiter Jack.
Billy Mays: Hi, it's Billy.
Billy: In my car.
Herbert: Haven't seen a newspaper in a couple days.
Billy: No problem.
Herbert: Wonderin' if you're ever gonna come back.
Billy: Be there in 20 minutes.
Herbert: Ya like popsicles?
Billy: Fuck no. (turns Jupiter Jack off) In some states, jacking off is illegal. Using a cell phone and— (Jupiter Jack rings) — God damn it! What now, ass plug?
Herbert: You little piggly son of a bitch!
: I'm gonna run over your balls
with this car! (hangs up again
) Jupiter Jack transmits— (Jupiter Jack rings again
) You can suck my cock, gay fucker!
Carla (over Jupiter Jack): It's Carla.
- Dick Brimley talks about his doctor
- "My tongue felt like a horse ass."
- "So finally, at the urging of my fucking doctor, he said, 'Wilford, if you wanna get laid, I'm gonna give you a few things to do. Feel my butt with your dick. Uh, and I was really interested in that. So finally—" (SCENE REMOVED)
- "And I've slipped up and I've done people I shouldn't do." (NEXT SCENE, PLEASE…)
- "Yiff yiff yiff yiff. I like to say, we will, we will, rock you."
- Jesse gets violated by seagulls and kills Al Gore
- "Whores, 'Pops, whores eating 'Pops. Jesse Ventura's corrupt power!" (cue Nazi Germany footage)
- "I've been a perverted dinosaur, a woman beater, a sex offender, a seagull."
- "I learned that seagulls can get inside your ass. And here's what's worse: eleven seagulls up my hole."
- "You think you know the whole story? Nope, I've been fucking your mom." (Okay, Governor)
- Al Gore dancing on the street to "I'm Too Sexy"
- "It's time to start the hunt, for the people robbing your cunt!"
- Nuclear Launch Detected
Morshu: It's yours my friend, as long as you have MINERAAALZ!
Ganon: IT BURNS! (after being hit by a nuclear missile)
- The Running Gag in their Littlest Pet Shop poops involving Russell deleting things.
- PaperKirby is also frequently referenced.
- From Vinnie Terrio Takes Over the World:
Russell: Buttercream butt?
: Twinsie girls who were twinsie girls
swiped PaperKirby before I could tell them about The Hub
Zoe: Or maybe you thought that's what you sas.
Buttercream: These eyes saw it in crystal-clear Buttercream vision!
"This YouTube Poop has been presented in Crystal-Clear Buttercream Vision"
- After that, when the pets are leaving:
: (the caption "Average Portal Fan" is above his head)
I'm coming to make sure that cake doesn't lie, know what I'm saying?
Russell: We have time to figure it out.
: Those are the boy-girls
. They swippity-swipped the Cars
- Gordon's Cruel Revenge:
- "Sodor is an island with six small wheels"
I can only see three wheels :P
- "He's a fussy little fuck! Always pulling cocaine for the big engines to take a lawl, and when trains (the "I Like Trains" Kid pops up) come in, he pulls the cocaine away and he pulls the big engines away so he can go rest."
- Thomas loves playing tricks on them, especially Flash Gordon.
- "Why does Thomas look so Chinese in this shot?"
- The Cat in the Hat is Not Good at Throwing Parties. It's a rather short poop, but quite funny. It's basically about two kids trying to throw a shitty birthday party for a fish, then the Cat shows up and all sorts of madness occurs.
Theme Singer: Hey!
Two kids peering out the window crouch down
- "Now all we have to do is fuck him!
- "And I would want upside-down shoes!" (no comment)
- When the cat shows up:
All shitty ideas, but we need something shitty for fish. What do I have here? A hairbrush? A hammer? (Donkey Kong music starts playing)
A hairbrush? A hairbrush? A hairbrush? A hairbrush? A waffle! A hairbrush? A hairbrush?
- Vinnie Terrio Watches Toddlers and Tiaras 2: Vinnie is Not In This One, particularly the scene where Blythe receives a letter from Bowser saying he's taken over the Mushroom Kingdom and the princess is in one of his hotels.
- The Prince of the Middle of the Week Takes a Dump is too hilarious for words. Just watch it.
- MEI GOES FOR A WALK
- I'm so hungry, I could eat a INSERT PENIS JOKE HERE
- "Des-troy my fuck-ing face!"
- SUPER DUPER SUPER MEN
- The Penguin Loses Custody of His Penguins
- Mei Goes For a Super Duper Wacky Horny Laddie Men Walk 2
- This is this is Daniel on a bike, in a bike, on a fucking farm, having gay sex with many friendly face, face, lots of SPAGHETTI
- I was supposed to put the word "penis" after that sentence because it would apparently be more humorous and enjoyable, but no.
- SUPER HORNY LADDIE 3: THE JACKALS WITH SUPER STRONG COCKS
- This is mams! *beat* PINGAS!
- Lilek and the Doom of Friends. The exaggerated tones of the voices makes it hard not to laugh.
Link: Goddammit, it's so boring here, I wanna go home!
The King: My son, this is your home and you're going to stay here until you're 18.
Link: I wanna leave!
- GASTON GETS CHUTLEY DISEASE AND THE HOIP WHILE HE WINS A BRONZE MEDAL IN WRESTLING:
- ROBOTNIK IS BEAUTIFUL NATURE
- The Ultimate Hoip Of Hoips: Fern's Christmas Party
- Throw Things At Simon with special guest host: Link!
- Buy some rapists!
- How do you like my house? Well, I GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
- Soon after he left, Nick died in a horrible car accident
- HOLY Sample Text BATMAN. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN. YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!
- Can't be too careful with all those *Disney Acid Sequence* around.
- Eeee-eeee, you know I am a righteous COCKFUCKER, destroy my idiot testicles! *immense pain* Be me or she will be Paris!
- I'm going home. *walks home* GET OUT OF MY HOUSE BEFORE I KILL YOU!
- PHIL! Ah, ahhaMoving Pictures!
- Eat the boat, raar, then he crapped money, then he beat the crap out of Earth!
- Yes, I could have put a D at the end of that, or an H and an I in the middle of the S and T, but...hey, being funny isn't my thing.
- MIKE AND BRETT GENT, released following an extremely long hiatus due to a copyright scare in the summer of 2011 that led to him setting all of his videos to private until he released the video in late December.
- VIVIAN LISTENS TO RED WHILE FUCKSTONE LOSES HIS HEAD
- The Ozard of Wiz, featuring Michael Rosen as the Ozard!
Michael: Now, I want you to murder the Witch of the Weast!
Michael face palms
Michael: You haven't heard a word I've said, have you?
- A vastly underappreciated pooper with flawless sentence mixing, able to construct seemingly impossible sentences from the CDi sources that many assumed had been taken to their limits. His masterpiece is undoubtedly Gwonam Buys an X-wing on eBay:
Gwonam: Your Majesty! Where the hell are you going!?
King Harkinian: I'm under attack!
King Harkinian: OAH! What photons!?
Gwonam: Uh... I meant proton.
- Another standout work is the Alternate Endings to the CDi games, poking fun at the Bag of Spilling.
Gwonam: Ganon seized Koridai.
Link: Great! I'll grab my stuff!
Gwonam: There is no time! Your sword is enough.
: You sure? I've got like five or six quests worth of stuff in the back. I could—
Gwonam: We do not have the time. Go get your sword.
Link: But I've got eight pouches of bombs.
Gwonam: All you need is your sword.
Link: Can I just—
- EEEEAAAAUUUUUAAAAHHHH. Pretty much anything involving the titular weird noise. Also Luigi:
Mario: We gotta save the princess!
Luigi: And, youuuuuuuuu...
- What is Spaghetti?
King Harkinian: All true warriors stive for cum.
Gwonam: It is written: Only Link can strive for cum.
Link: Great, I'll give head!
- "Zelda, [bleep] you."
Mario: We gotta [bleep] Bowser!
Luigi: And you gotta [bleep] spaghetti!
Mario: If you need instructions on how to [bleep] Bowser, check out my seven Koopa hotels.
Luigi: And [bleep] spaghetti!
Luigi: [Bleep] you and [bleep] spagheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetti!
- The CD-i characters singing Haddaway's "What Is Love".
- JeoppoeJ Episode 2
- "On CNN's erection map, Illinois made this self-described 'skinny kid with a funny name' the giraffe mascot for Toys 'R' Us."
Alex Trebek: Joshua Allen is Joshua Allen. You have command of the board. Three categories remain in play. Select.
Joshua: "The Things of Nature" for $200, please.
Alex: No. Advertising Election Criticism. "What little cock a hippopotamus has, to rotate 270 degrees, is mostly on its tail."
- Jeoppoej 3: Stop Using This Source God Please No
- "Call now. 1337."
- "And our returning champion: a Massachusetts teacher from Somerville, College Physics, Whacks Cock, whose 146,200 day cash winnings total $5."
- Alex Trebek's head inflating and then exploding.
- "One chapter in her book is 'Fuck Your Grandparents'."
- "In 196 Gnee Shi-Vedge this Hyenabet currency was at 360 to the dollo; today, it's under 100."
- "Celebrity Memoirs for $1,000." (blank clue comes up)
- Jeopardy! Season 92 premiere
- "And these are the categories to start off the new season: 'Grrrrrrrrrr—'" (dialog box comes up reading "Alex Trebek has stopped responding. Windows can try to restart the program" with the options "This joke is old" and "Debug the program".)
Alex: (reading clue) "This Oscar winner." Alison?
Alison: Who is Hutton?
Alex: No. Diane or Vamsi?
(beep beep beep)
Alex: Who is Timothy Hutton?
- On the next turn, Alison hitting a Daily Double, whose clue reads just "This Oscar-Winning daughter."
- "On a clear day, I live in my donut, man."
- When the category "September" is revealed in Double Jeopardy!, audio is dubbed in from this notorious Family Feud clip.
- "I'll get you, my pretty, and cry havoc, and just one dog."
- The Jaws music playing when the inflatable shark appears behind Alex.
- Even years after its popularity has faded, "The Balls Are Inert" is still a piece of comic genius.
- Let's just say that his Thomas the Tank Engine poops will leave you in stitches.
- Pursee & the Faulty Facelifts, as the Fat Controller introduces Daisy to Percy and Toby.
The Fat Controller: This is Daisy, the evil railcar.
Daisy: Screw you, you smelly bastard!
The Fat Controller: Fine! This is Daisy, the lazy railcar.
That's better! (beat
Percy: Ha, ha, ha!
Toby (thinking): Holy crap, that Daisy is hot!
Daisy (with a distorted face): Nyey!
- The dance scene set to "You Can't Touch This" is nothing short of hilarious.
- "This is dreadful!"
- Purcy Discovers Something Retarded: James tries to explain why he hasn't got up yet.
Stationmaster: He did not! HE DID NOT!
James: Oh! (Suddenly realising Percy had set him up) OH! Where's Percy?!
(Cut to Percy annoying Gordon)
- Billy Mays' Sexcapades
- "Why am I smashing my car with this hammer? Doing it for the lulz."
- "Has this ever happened to you? You had to leave town suddenly. Just got in the car and drove far from home. And you're scoring with a 350-pound whore live on TV…"
- "Carla takes it right in the ass. Shit's so cash!"
- "Billy Mays here for P-E-N-I-S 360.com! It's the live sex you want, wherever you are! When term papers are sucking, see who's fucking!"
- "You can turn Billy Mays on with the flick of a switch. Wiwiwiwiwiwiwi. WITH THE FLICK OF A SWITCH."
- "Geez oh man, being sexy wears you out."
- "This is Billy Mays, and I'm pulling around to stick it in your pooper!"
- "Take a look at this cock, it's a doozy! Get on the bed! OhOhOhOh CumCumCum" (Content censored. For full uncensored video please visit PENIS360.com).
- "Woah, that was an experience. Where's my blowjob? What is this I don't even!"
- "Greasy Potatoes"
- "Wow, all this furniture attracts moms like a fuckin' magnet!"
- "Orange Glo easily removes grease and grime from grease and grime. It's even tough enough to break down grease and grime from stickers without damaging the grease and grime. And with a fresh orange scent, you'll be grease and grime."
- Billy Mays' hand slamming down a "sold" sticker on the oven in the greasy spoon diner.
- "Why am I smashing my hand with this hammer? To show you the amazing protection you get from smashing my hand with this hammer. And this hammer is smashing my hand."
- "Are you tired of shitting french fries like I do? Watch this. Insert $100 into the back of Billy Mays' asshole, then simply watch as Billy Mays shits mountains of french fries in seconds."
- "You can chop your kids to make thick chunky salsa, salad, tacos, vegetable trays, coffee, chicken salad, ham salad, Cupcakes, ice cream, and your hands never touch the blood."
Billy Mays: Everyone loves cupcakes.
Apple Bloom: Not the cupcakes! Trust me.
Billy Mays: Eat the damn cupcakes right now, or I'll eliminate Equestria! (Pinkamena appears behind him)
- "HI BILLY MAYS HERE TO SHARE WITH YOU WHY LEGENDARYSAGE IS FAILING TO MAKE VIDEOS"
- YouTube Poop: Billy Mays Hits Puberty While Cooking Calcium, Lime, and Rust Burgers
- "With the Slider Station, just scoop, press, and cook right on your toilet!"
- "Topped with pickles, onions, ketchup, or cheese, Big City Sliders have harsh fumes!"
- "The triple-sided chicken-stick surface is so slick, not even buuuuurrrrnnt oooooon chheeeeeeeeese will stick!"
- "Make healthy calcium, lime, and rust burgers with ease, and join the craze with me, BBBBBBBBBBBBBBB!"
- YTP: Billy Mays Raves With the Best Product He Has Ever Pulled Out of the Infinite Void in His Ass
- "Now you can throw away your toilet and never shit in your toilet again! Introducing toilet paper! Just wipe your ass! Maybe it's that easy."
- "I know what you're thinking: Billy Mays is high on crack."
- "Big City Grater is not an ordinary grater, but a superpowered grater that can grate anything. Watch this: grate laundry with ease. There's no wrong way to use it! Pass it around the toilet and grate as you shit. You can grate gophers, old man, your car, little hands, 20 ounces of liquid. Look at this!"
- "Watch this." (fails to get car door open) "Screw my car!"
- "Using a turnip and driving isn't safe, and in some states, it's even a seagull."
- "I love Fluttershy, don't you?"
- The end cameo from Radicalfaith360.
- Radicalfaith360 moves out and shit
- "So some of you are probably wondering, where the hell have I had sex? Well, I have sex on a prison bunker. I think it'll be best if I really just really just pump it out in this room." "Are you shittin' me?"
- "That was probably the longest dick I've had between videos." (censor bar appears)
- "I've actually secured uh, or am closing a deal on a Nazi concentration camp."
- "It's been a long time since I had a shit. So other than when I got together with cs188 and shit on cs188 and…"
- "Radicalfaith360 here for Concentration!"
- "And the person who recommended the concentration camp to me is none other than DaNazis1! And if you haven't subscribed to DaNazis1 yet, I highly recommend it. Very good shitter. Uh, very clean dicks. You see the sex in his videos. He uses profanity but he doesn't use profanity. It's N-I-G-G-A-S A-N-D S-H-I-T number one."
- Billy Mays starts a sex hotline (Sexcapades II)
- Uh ohho hU Uh ohho hU Uh oh! That'll leave a mark! And another! And another!"
- "Sucking that hardon is as easy as 1-2-3! Just push-" (NOPE)
- "Finally, sex you can actually afford!"
- "This bitch is fucking cray-cray."
- "And I'm not talking about some whore from Motel 6, I'm talking about real bitches with big titties, wet vaginas, or both. Flubber boat."
- "Billy Mays attracts bitches like Tyler Perry and chicken attracts black people!"
- "But I'm not done yet! Call Sundays, and you'll receive our amazing double penetration! Moms are gonna love two dicks on a busy school morning!"
- "And I still never got a blowjob!"
- Billy Mays Gets Pissed and Uses His Arsenal of Products to Pound Every Car and Truck Made
- "Fuck your car!" (pound)
- "With Mighty Putty, you just pound like dough. Simply knead to activate, apply and pound your car."
- Butt Mash's Adventure into Madness
- Billy Mays Gets Road Rage While Advertising a Non-Working Radio Broadcaster
- "Instead of hearing the other person, you hear music!"
- "In my car, the Jupiter Jack sucks. I need to shit." PFFFFFHHHHHT "Using a cell phone and shitting isn't safe. And in some states it's even illegal."
- "I don't feel safer because I have to hold my cell phone while I drive." "It doesn't matter. Driving is illegal."
- "But I'm still not done." (beat) "I'm done."
- Billy Mays discovers dickburgers
: Has this ever happened to you? Wii U
? You're on the road and you can't find an octagon.
- "Squishin' and squishin' and squishin' and squishin' and squishin…"
- "So slick. Just poop cheese, and watch your family attack your family!"
- "You don't need a cabinet full of cabinets. You need a cabinet full of Negroes."
- "With Billy Mays, you'll finally be saying: 'I can cook delicious mouth watering dickburgers with two thumbs up my ass!'"
- "That's much better than Men at Work. That's much better than pork at work."
- "Ba-con-egg-and-cheese. Ba-con-egg-and-cheese."