Funny: You Tube Poop Authors A To C


182crazyK (Retired)

2charliegotguns2 (Retired)

AlvinYTP (Retired)

  • The Medic Loves His Patients
    (A Meet the Spy scene where the RED spy breaks the BLU medic's neck and disguises himself in front of his eyes)
    Medic: ... and ze doctor was never heard from again! (evil laughter)
    Heavy: WAAAAAHHH!

AngryFatMan (Retired)





BarneyIsPerverted (Retired)
  • Spingebill Blows Exotic Instruments
    • "Hi, Billy Mays here..." (door slam)
    • "The problem is, I overdosed on ibuprofen and can't make it."
    • This scene:
    Squidward: "Okay, now. How many of you have played with Play-doh before?"
    (Patrick raises his hand)
    Squidward: "How many have you played musical instruments before?"
    Patrick: "Is penis an instrument?"
    Squidward: "No, Patrick, penis is not an instrument."
    Patrick: "Not the way I use em'!"
    • Plankton doing the AVGN theme on harmonica.
    • At the end, the band remembering Squidward's advice on how if they play loud, people might think they're good. So they play an ear-splitting Brown Note that leaves Squidward in shock.
  • Spingebill Experiences a Horrifying NDE: Mr. Krabs humping the sink drain.
    • "When you're Eminem, you'll really enjoy the way you taste." "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"
    • "That sounds like my baby dropping...!"
  • Spingebill Is Very Insertive
    • Bubble Bass sitting on SpongeBob.
    • "Hey, go fuck that bitch!"
      • (beeping sound) "Whoa, buried treasure!" And then he proceeds to enjoy Lady Gaga's "buried treasure".
    • This scene:
    Plankton: "SpongeBob, that was wonderful! Is that an all-over tan?"
    SpongeBob (as his pants fall down): "Well, not all of me!
    Nat: "Dude, put that thing away, there are like, children here!"


Bluegroove157 (retired)
  • Mighty Sh*t Remover
    • "The super powered salsa that removes shit with confidence!"
    • "Its patented formula delivers salsa and detergent throughout your wash cycle, instantly removes shit from your clothes."
    • "How do you know it's not gonna dissolve more than what you need?" "Go [bleep] yourself!"
    • "Order now, or Billy Mays will ruin your onions!"

  • Billy Mays Sells Stuff Jacked Up on Red Bull
    • "You're on the toilet leaving a Hercules-sized shit and it won't come out." "Oh wait, that's Flummywister's video. Sorry…"
    • The whole "Gator Paper" part.
    • "Really long text that only appears for 1 frame, but you thought that you caught something while watching the video, so you replayed it a few times and tried to pause it at the right time to see what important thing was said here only to find that it means nothing! In the tone of Nelson Muntz, 'Ha ha!'"
    • "I have two of them because I have two of them. Most people won't get shit."
    • "We're here to tell you: go fuck yourself with the Jupiter Jack!" (Those involved in this portion of the collaboration do not encourage doing weird things to yourself with the Jupiter Jack)
    • "If you're having problems with hard water build-up, soap scum, ring around the toilet, calcium, lime, and rust stains, then you need to grow the fuck up! Suck it up and get a JoJ!"

  • Vince Shticks It to Your Sofa
    • "Hey, it's Vince Offer here with my new product called Shit on a Stick!"
    • "And ladies, you're gonna like the little dick, but you're gonna love the big dick." o_o

  • Cs188 does the JOJ at the GYAAYG
    • "Cs here, at the GYG!"
    • "I love balls."

  • Diabeetus has Wilford Brimley
    • "Good morning, Uh, I uh, uh, uh, uh… you know… shit." (color bars) "I'm Wilford Brimley and I shit in your apple pie."
    • "Well, if you have diabeetus, and your diabeetus has diabeetus, well, you have diabeetus." (O RLY? owl appears)
    • "I'd like to talk to you for a few minutes about diabeetus. Actually, about…" (Record Needle Scratch) "…diabeetus."
    • "Have a good dick." (color bars) "Have a good day. Yay."
    • "I lost all my shit, and as a result of all these things, my dick hurts like hell."

  • Radicalfaith360 Does it All Over Again
    • "We can shit in a Big City Toilet!"
    • "Today, I'm showing you how to screw your friends. So what you'll do is you'll take your penis and you will lightly tap your friend's ass."
    • "What do you do when you doo-doo in your car? You get Kaboom and stick it in your pooper!"
    • "Woody!"
    • "When it comes to FAAF repair in North FAAF, there is nobody with an A+ rating that has a high Better Business Bureau."

  • Billy Mays Discusses Those Awkward Moments
    • "It happens. You see your mom in the shower with no clothing, and you vomit your Big City Slider all over the bathroom. Hi, Billy Mays here with Zorbeez!" BAD IDEA
    • "It happens. You get your cock stuck in a bucket of cheese and it smells like shit. Hi, Billy Mays here for What Odor." WORSE IDEA
    • "It happens. You get gophers up your ass—Who wrote this shit?"
    • "You can also shit on a bed of onions for that classic shit on a bed of onions taste."
    • "Hey, check out the hay!"
    • "And you can't blow those businessmen the way you thought you could. Maybe you just went and drove, because you knew they'd ruin your cock for life."
    • "It's called the Shit King. When two laxatives aren't enough—hguoneenough— reach for the Shit King. Shit will fly from your ass at over 100 miles an hour! Call now and you'll get the Shit King kit complete with guaranteed diarrhea, all for just 19 sliced onions. As a special bonus, we'll also include our Shit Grater for no reason, freerf."

  • RadicalFaith360's "The Bitch Switch" Reenpoopment
    • Firstly, it's a role reversal for Radicalfaith360, he "made" the poop first, and then bluegroove and another user reconstructed it with actual Billy Mays clips.
    • "Billy Mays here for the Bitch Switch, the easy way to turn on any bitch, with the flick of a switch!"
    • "You can even shit in a child—" (WAIT! WRONG VIDEO) "You can even have sex in a rocket ship, or sex on the moon, or in space, or in the kitchen, when you cook delicious Big City Titties! Moms are gonna love it!"
    • "You can even flick the switch wherever you are, and it becomes the Handy Jack-it Switch!" (NASTY-EYAY-EYAY-AAAY)
    • "But I'm not done yet! Billy Mays—" (clip of a turtle)

  • WTF Spray
    • "Unlike other products that don't do shit, WTF Spray completely eliminates orange clothing forever. And is it true that WTF Spray can grate cheese with ease in less than 10 seconds?"
    • "Why am I shouting? Who f[bleep]ing cares?"
    • "If you wanna get the JoJ done, you want Billy Mays, a name you can trust. Introducing the Billy Mays Ultimate Cock, eight cocks in one!"
    • "Ordinary cocks are too small to get the JoJ done. My cock has the strength to pull this fully loaded, 80,000 pound tractor trailer!"
    • This:
    Anthony Sullivan: Hey, it's Sully.
    Billy Mays (over Jupiter Jack): Hi, it's Billy. I want the JoJ!
    Anthony: The JoJ died.
    Billy: Are you shittin' me? I want the f[bleep]ing JoJ!
    Anthony: Be there in about 20 minutes.
    Billy: No problem, see ya.
    Anthony: See ya then.
    (21 minutes later)
    (Billy and Anthony are watching this video)
    cs188: …against one of my, um, JoJ videos, and the person basically wanted all of the remix videos using foundation repair sources taken off YouTube…
    Billy Mays: God damn it! I wanted to do it all over again!

  • bluegroove157's Even Bigger 205 Subscriber Special
    • "Hi, Billy Mays here for bluegroove157. I know what you're thinking. Another fucking Billy Mays YouTube Poop — are you shittin' me?"
    • "Turtle!"
    • "…an inspector cumming in her cheese."
    • "And suddenly one day, our teacher, Miss Goodall, said there was a windmill stuck up her ass." (That's enough of Rosen's childhood!!!)
    • "Sometimes sex with Billy Mays is the solution! Sometimes Billy Mays likes to stick his whopping six-pound balls under—" (Woah! Too much!!!)
    • "Talk about a luxururururious bedroom! This is the one I had sex on. You're gonna love it!"
  • Billy Mays Gets Trolled at McDonald's
    • "I know what you're thinking. What prevents bears from taking HoH SiS?"
    • This:
    Drive-thru lady: Good morning, can I help you?
    Billy Mays: Hi, Billy Mays here! Can I get a sausage?
    Drive-thru lady: No.
    Billy: Make that two shit burritos.
    Drive-thru lady: No.
    Billy: You know what? Lemme wash that down with some Coca-Cola, I mean, cat urine.
    Drive-thru lady: No.
    Billy: What the fuck? I'm Billy Mays. You suck.
    Drive-thru lady: Okay.
    Billy: Can I talk to the fucking manager?
    Drive-thru lady: Okay.
    Billy: Asshole. Hi, Billy Mays here!
    Anthony Sullivan (over drive-thru speaker): Hi, Anthony Sullivan here!
    Billy: Are you shittin' me?
    Anthony: No.
    Billy: Fuck this shit. This is Billy Mays, and I'm going to Burger King!
  • The Billy Bazooka
    • "I love caffeine, don't you? Hi, Billy Mays here for Red Bull, the easy way to get up and go. Red Bull gives you the power to do all types of shit without breaking your back."
    • "If you're having problems with people's shit, then you need the Billy Bazooka, the most powerful bazooka that's legal!"
    • "It has the strength to completely eliminate storm-force oranges!"
  • Morons Away
    • "Here's how it works. Just add this thing, simply shit to activate—" (scene missing) "—pour in water, and hang it. That's it!"
    • "Use Morons Away outside to keep those pesky assholes from coming inside. Your family gatherings will be asshole free, guaranteed."
    • "So stop shitting next to your bed. Stop spraying What Odor to eliminate the odors. And get the ultimate green invention for your asshole prevention. Call now and get not one but two Morons Away for only 14 ounces of liquid."
    • "Burnt on shit will stick to any phone."
  • Mighty Orange Tough Acting Desh*tter
    • "It's powered with Billy Mays' patented gopher blood."
    • "I know what you're thinking: what about the rinse cycle? [bleep] you."
    • "…47 payments of pet hair!"
    • "You're gonna love my nuts."
  • Impact Sword
    • "Other hardwood floors suck and break down over time. Not my hardwood floors. Shit flies right from my floors faster than a gopher on crack."
    • "This giant medieval sword is the most convenient device to damage almost anything. Use it to cut through your shower with ease, or kill gophers for no reason."
  • The iSh*t Toilet
    • "I know I should have gophers."
    • microphone stand not included
    • "Hi, Billy Mays here for the iShit, the most affordable and easy way to pee and shit on the go!"
    • "The iShit comes with speakers. You hear music as you shit. If you want more volume, just turn it up."
    • "Ordinary toilets look like this. Would you shit in this?"
    • "Nothing is more important than shitting with confidence."
  • Liquid Weed
    • "Are you tired of using sprays that don't get you high?"
    • "Spray Liquid Weed into the air you breathe, and forget about life!"
    • "It's faster than glue and more satisfying than crack."
    • "…for 15 pounds of Phillips heads."
  • Billy Mays Gets Increasingly Annoyed With YouTube Censoring His Videos
    • "If you're too lazy to wipe your ass, then you gotta see this. Billy Mays here for the Never Wipe, the fast and easy way to wipe your ass without your hands." YouTube has stopped the advertisement for the totally awesome Never Wipe. This video has been removed by the user. Sorry about that. "Crap."
    • "Wanna know the best way to get your stains out in the wash? Well, fuck you, asshole!" YouTube has stopped the advertisement for whatever Billy was about to sell. This video has been removed by the user. Sorry about that. "God damn it!"
    • "Hi, Billy Mays here. Do you enjoy the ride? Of course you do! But now you can enjoy the ride even more with Billy Mays, a name you can trust. Introducing Billy Mays Condom! Go longer and harder with the Billy Mays Condom!" "Yeah!" "That's right, with the new condom from Billy Mays, your enjoyment level will go from this—" (short bar) "—to this—" (longer bar labeled "SEX") "—in no time at all. Here's how it works…" We totally can't show you how it works. This video has been removed by the user. Sorry about that. "Fuck. "
    • "Billy Mays knows how to please Your Mom!" No one needed to know that. This video has been removed by the user. Sorry about that. "Oh come on!"
    • "Hi, Billy Mays here" Add funny thing here in the morning. This video has been removed by the user. Sorry about that. "OH MY GOD! YouTube, it's over! Billy Mays doesn't take this!"
    • Billy Mays getting into a helicopter to bomb Google.
    • "Hi, it's Billy." "Hi, it's Carla. What would happen if you combined a cheese grater with a plate?" "I don't have time!"
  • JiiJ Played Baseball
    • "I'm Lieutenant Pingas, a juvenile police officer attached to your mother. I'm on my way to high school to hang up young people."
    • "JiiJ played baseball and he didn't feel like playing baseball, so he decided to play baseball all afternoon, and he didn't feel like baseball, so he decided to thumb a ho. Then during lunch, the ho died. Jimmy was arrested, and Jimmy was released, and Jimmy was arrested again, and JiiJ played baseball, and he didn't think anything was unusual." "It's not—"
    • "Public restrooms can often be a nice place to shit."
    • "Sure enough, Jimmy was playing with his balls, and when Bobby recognized his balls, Bobby hauled ass." VROOOOOOOM
  • Billy Mays Loses the Plot Entirely

  • Anthony Sullivan — Suicide Mop
    • "Now, it's made of synthetic potato that absorbs toxic chemicals in your shit, leaving toxic residue, killing you with precision accuracy in less than three minutes."
    • "Billy always said, 'You're a fat waste of oxygen and you smell'." (Mark3611 reference! Whoo!)
    • "As a bonus we'll double the value, and we'll also include 9 hours of Hall & Oates, free."

Boogidyboo (Retired)
  • Robotnik Protects His Sex:
    • I just got here! *BOOM* If it sounds too good to be true, it's probably SEMEN!
    • Amazingly, you have a penis!
  • Robotnik Blinks:
    • "It's time to unleash my body parts, and FUCK Sonic like a bug!"
    • "WHO TOUCHED MY GUN?!" "Who cares?" (cut to Heavy, looking affronted)
    • "What have you got?" "Penis! Let me show you how it works..."
  • Robotnik, She Wrote:
    • "If I had captured your companion, I'd be FUCKing him right now!"
    • Robotnik singing "Running in the 90s"
    • "There's no escape from the wrath of diabeetus."
    • The ending. "Oh, he'll be fine, he's fat."
  • Robotnik is Unstoppable:
    • "I haven't seen such lunacy since I banned my crazy cousin Walrusguy!"
    • "You're GAY?! FUCK you!"
  • Robotnik Meets The Tick
    Arthur: You can't fight evil with a macaroni duck!
    Tick: Gay Luigi?
    (Tick walks out of the room and smashes through the door frame in slow motion while a distorted sound plays)
    • The map light.
  • The opening of Robotnik is Due:
    Phoenix Wright: Youtube Poop. Where there's smoke... THEY PINCH BACK! What do you have to say to that, Dr. Robotnik!
    Robotnik: DAAAAAHHH, @%$#! I HATE that defense attorney! (throws his pingas at Phoenix) Pingas!
    • Robotnik isn't unhappy, in fact, he's... (extremely sped up footage of a Team Fortress 2 player griefing Snipers)
    • Robotnik and his mother:
    Robotnik: WHY did you leave the Mobius Home for Really Bizarre Mothers?
    (drowning theme from Sonic Adventure)
    Momma Robotnik: JOSH.

  • Eric ends his Relationship with Mike
  • Littlest Pork Chop
    Blythe: You wanna have a free Slap Chop?
    Zoe Trent: Don't you dare send ♪that crap to me~♪"
  • The Neverending Critic Reviews The Roof
    • "Once upon a time, there was a movie called Toy Story. And it blew." (troll face)
    • "Jessica Elwood." (She is an artist on DeviantArt and FurAffinity. For the people who like furry/anthro art you really gotta chack [sic] her art out! <3)
    • "And Jesus went up to Jurassic Pork."
    • "Did you know that pussies get wet?"
    • "Bowser's Incest Story."
    • This:
    The Nostalgia Critic: Let's dive right into The Roof. We cut to our star of our movie, Soap.
    Tommy Wiseau (distorted and red-tinted): Hi babe.
    Critic: (screams) The devil!
    Devil!Wiseau: I have something for you. I haven't forgotten you, Critic!
    Critic: (screams again and runs out of the room) And we've just witnessed your Nightmare Fuel for the week, people. Be very afraid.
    • "5-Hour Energy. My name is Jay Lynn, and I am soup."
    • "He's a skiiks! She's a skiiks!"
  • Billy Mayhem
    • "Those restaurant mini-burgers need to die!"
    • "Everyone loves Billy Mays, so buy Billy Mays right now. Here's how to order!"
    • "Moms, you're gonna love Billy Mays' big cock."
    • "Mighty Putty is not a glue. Mighty Putty is a glue."
    • "Are you on the bomb?" "Wow, what's this?" "It's new Oxi-Bomb Detergent. Get on the bomb and you'll never have to pour or measure detergent again." "So how does it work?" "Just place the Oxi Bomb detergent ball in the blue toss and go dispenser. Just toss and go. It stays in your—" BOOM "You shittin' me?"








  • Michael Rosen's Abuse of Power
  • Michael's Fatal Dinnertime Squables
    • "Here's me, and my mom's just given me, a plum. Anna anna and if there's one thing I can't stand, it's my dad. And if there's another thing I can't stand it's plums."
    • "Do you know there's some people in Jamaica who'd give their two-year-old to have sex with my face because they haven't had any sex for a whole week. I'm telling you this because..well, actually, I don't know why. Just eat your plum or they'll be no breathing for a whole week."
    • "Stop that stupid dancing, vagina neck!"
  • The Michael Rosen Rapid Anal Discharge
    • "I think it's really bad news if they put Jews into the oven. That was 71 years ago. Now they're trying to invent an electronic sex partner. *Many tongue clicks and repetitions of "nice" in a big cluster*"
    • "Hypnotizer, Hollywood, a hip hop headache, I'm giving you all the pizza."
    • "Though I have to say, it was dark as PLUMS!"
    • "Nothing to do, didn't want to do my dad."
    • *after a Stupid Statement Dance Mix of Song of Storms of Michael saying "drink"* "That was absolute shit."
    • "One push, Mrs. Shush, and he'll be plums, I'm telling you that was a puzzle to me."
    • "Hip-hop, a hip-fhop hap, I'm giving you all ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!"
    • "When I was 1, I swam to London airport, when I was 2, I ate semen. When I was 3, I was horribleelbirrorhorribanana. When I was 4, I ate hot food. When I was 5, I was in a band playing sex games. My favorite was rape. This is how we played rape. *cut to black* Get off me! NO! My hands are sticky. *back to Michael* When I was 6, I ate a bag of plumsplumsplumsplumspplumsIhadplumsplumsplumsmums! When I was 7, I robbed a bank with a telephone. When I was 8, I became Prime State. When I was nyan, I clclosed clcall the schoohcs, when i was clc I ate a bag of nice."
    • "I'm giving you all the Michael Rosen dead little girl. *click* MAGIC!"
    • "Alright class, I'm king. I'm drinking, and I want sex, and that includes buttsex."
    • "Let's remind ourselves of a few things, shall we?" "NO!!!!!!"
    • "Do we murder at 9:30 at school? No, we murder at 12:30. But Fans, you've already begun your mad dog stuff."
    • "It's a lump on your head. It's the blade of a PLUM in there."
    • "I was seven." THE END.
    • "It was "write a story". And the best story would be thrown out the window."
    • "I get my face right up into his slippery and sticky, and that's when I see the electronic rabbit."
    • "When I get in, if there's one thing I love, it's breathing. I love the feel of my lungs on the oxygen."
    • "If I hear about your dead parents, I shall give them to the ducks."
    • "Without any explanations or questions being asked, just get out a very large penis and stick it up the children. Just fuck up any children."
    • "One way that I like to think of this is to think of this, is how can we create snatch that we can use to make children?"
    • "The bed started to eat me. The sky started to eat me. The lemon started to fuck me."
    • "He had a shed with tins full of screw you."
    • "My mum tries to be a lamppost."
  • Michael Rosen the Cannibal
    • "I was starving. All I had for breakfast was 1 teacher and 15 two-year-olds."
    • "She said, "eating people is cruel. Eating people is murder." And so I said, "If you don't shush, I'm gonna eat YOU.""
  • Michael Rosen's Adulterous Dad
    • "She said, "How do you know I'm a prostitute?""
    • "Melanie ran out faster than an electronic raisin."
    • "And that's when my dad's penis became the dog's dinner."
  • The Collected Tales of Michael Rosen
    • "You may think I'm crazy, you may think I'm mad. And you're right! Quite right!"
    • "When I was one, I was DEAD, when I was two, I was still dead. When I was three I started getting head, when I was four I went to bed."
    • "So I got my bag full of useless information, and I murdered my dad and Eileen, and everything was prison once again."
    • "Mr. Strict was the boss. Mr. Goldfish was the fat red prick."
    • "I knew Father Christmas was DEAD!"
    • "When I come in from playing with myself, my dad calls me Dope-dope Grandad."
  • The London Slave Auction
    • There was a man who turned up 'round our way once saying that he was going to put on show: a terref creature callllac...the rabbit.
  • The Wawaw and Other Tales of Rosenry
    • "My mom and dad gave me pneumonia, and they scream "LOL"!"
    • "One day at a camp, we were playing Don't Tell Your Mother, and I had to get twenty thousand pickles in my butt. (licks his mouth in excitement, and clicks his tongue with a grin. Fade to black, and then-) CHOCOLATE CAKE."
    • "I loved my brother's big book of dirty grandmothers. We'd sit around saying, mmmm, this is nice, this is really nice."
    • "My brother, is on the baby. Why? Because he's supposed to finish his beer before he has sex. He says he wants his pussy now."
    • "Then my dad beats up mom with his penis. Toot."
    • "My brother once told me that Mom wants the D. *click* Nice. He said that if Uncle Chocolate Cake is having a go with Mom, then Uncle Matzah Butt won't join in."
    • "Something Changes. (fade out, then to Michael about to tell a story) Jizz.)



  • "I'M GUNNA SHOOT SOMEBODY", a two-part 14.5-minute epic in which cjflo manages to make R. Kelly's Trapped In The Closet even more ridiculous than the original:
    • From part one we have: Then a knock on the door, the gun's in my hand/He opens the door, the gun's in my hand/He looks at the closet, I pull out my Beretta/He opens the door, I can't believe it's a midget... ...Well...GET TO THE POINT! Or I'M GUNNA SHOOT SOMEBODY...
      • It's the way the guy just lets his arm drop and stares into oblivion, like his life is now complete that makes it!
    • From part two we have: Twan opens the door and it's Rosie the nosy neighbor...then all of a sudden, '''POW!'''
    And then we all laughed, Twan said, "She gonna die?" "No doubt!"
  • "You are already subscribed to BILL COSBY", another epic from one of her favorite sources, The Cosby Show:
    • The opening credits sequence gets a surreal makeover, with Cosby's name spammed numerous times and his face contorted in the most ridiculous fashions.
    • Cliff Huxtable's obsession with penises and grounding his daughters (especially when he catches one of them watching Pulp Fiction)
    • The scenes where the parents meet Denise's boyfriend Eddie are also not sacred, as Eddie starts scatting "Reggae" in outrageous fashions ("And Eddie, are you and Denise going out—" "EH MON." *sagenod*)



  • Gravity Faaf
    • Dipper getting scared of Grunkle Stan so much that he explodes then inexplicably comes back to life.
    • "Our uncle had transformed his house into a house he called The House."
    • "Alright, ladies and gentlemen, behold: my ass!"
    • Dipper's mosquito bites spelling out "Bieber".
    • "Grunkle Stan says I'm paranoid, but according to this book I'm paranoid."
    • "You think [Norman] might be Pinkie Pie? That would be so awesome!"
    • "I'm gonna be a door and he's gonna be one of your crazy conspiracies!"
    • "Her aim is getting better!"
    • "I am one million dicks!"
    • "You kids could go waste your time on some epic FUUF, or you could spend your day learning how to SKEWWEKS!"
    • "ANUS GAY"
    • "Why yes, of course you can chew on my penis."
    • "Behold, the rock that looks like a rock. It looks like a rock, but it's a rock." "Does it look like a rock?" "No, it looks like a rock." "Is it a face?" "Yes, it's a face."


CommanderGwonam (retired; most links are to reuploads)