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Funny / YouTube Poop: Authors A-C

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Main Funny Page
YTP Collabs and Tennis Matches | A-C | D-L | M-Q | R-Z

As a Funny Moments page, all spoilers are unmarked as per wiki policy. You Have Been Warned!

12islessthan1

1337p3n9u1n

  • IT'Z UH STOHN, LOOEEGEE:
    Luigi: It's a football!
    Mario: It's a stone—
    Luigi: It's a foot—
    Mario: —stone, Luigi. You didn't make it!
    Luigi: I—
    Mario: DIDN'T MAKE IT.
    Luigi: It's a—
    Mario: Stone! Stone! Stone! Stone! Stone! Stone!...
    (Luigi simply stares at Mario unamused for several seconds in the meantime, before throwing the football at him, knocking him down.)
    Luigi: Eggface!

182crazyK (Retired)

2charliegotguns2 (Retired)

aGuyThatLovesPooping

AkaGenya1

  • Mirabel and the House Full of Mirabel
    • Several edited lines from "The Family Madrigal":
      Mirabel: Oh, and that's Demon Slayer!
      Zenitsu Agatsuma: EXCUSE ME? CAN YOU KEEP IT DOWN, PLEASE?
      Alma: The town keeps rowing, the tern keeps turning, and each new generation must keep the town burning!
      Mirabel: Camilo bakes cakes for snakes!
    • Also from "The Family Madrigal", everyone marrying each other:
      Tio Félix married Pepa
      And my dad married Julieta
      And my dad married Tio Félix
      And Pepa married my dad
      And Julieta married Tio Félix
      And Pepa married peas
    • Mirabel singing "I can't take another knight up in my room."
      "It's a terrible joke."
    • "Surface Pressure" also has its share of funny edits, including Luisa dancing to Rick Astley and these lyrics:
      Luisa: I move merch and play Platinum.
      Luisa: Was Sonic ever like, "Yo, I don't wanna fight Knuckles"?
    • From the edited "We Don't Talk About Bruno":
      Pepa: ...and there was Cloud! (Cloud appears in the background)
      Camilo: When he sees your yeast, it all fades to black, and he frames your rats and feasts on seven ice creams...
      Señora Pezmueto: He told me my fish would Dada, the next day- (shows Marchel Duchamp's "Fountain")
    • Felix tells Camilo to fix his face. Fittingly enough, Camilo has CDi Ganon's face in this scene.
    • One last song edit, from "What Else Can I Do?":
      Isabela: I grow Michael Rosen.
      (Michael Rosen pops out of Isabela's hands with a "Hello!")

Alejandro

  • Spingebill's 4D pickle quest goes into a senseless adventure (reupload)
    • SpongeBob listing the ingredients of the Krabby Patty in the wrong order, capping it off with pie. A pie then falls from the ceiling.
      SpongeBob: Shit. (the pie explodes)
    • SpongeBob requests to the audience to "Get on me, we gotta fuck the customer!" Cue a censored sex scene between SpongeBob and the customer.
    • Both YTPMVs.
    • Plankton and the Patrick overload:
      Plankton: My robotic Patrick has lured you and your delicious Patrick into my fiendish Patrick!
    • The entire RPG battle sequence, especially when SpongeBob can't consume his Krabby Patty because he needs it for the customer.
      • Later on, another battle sequence is about to occur, only for an error to occur.
    • The Pat-Bot throwing a bomb at Plankton.
    • SpongeBob's reaction to the end of the ride:
      "Well, that was fucking weird."

Alexie

  • Into the Fuck Truck, the adventures of the Hooley Dooley Fuck Brigade.
    • "There's DANK MEMES stuck up in that tree!"

AlienMyth64

  • Everyone Hates Billy's Burgers
    • "Boooooombs, s-s-smooooob." (explosion)
    • "Hi, B-B-B-B-B-B-Billy is here for the Big S***ty Slider Station!"
    • "Restaurant mini-burgers, burgers, burgers, BURGERS! BURGERS! BURGERS! Everyone loves!"
    • "No more 'nihsiuqs dna 'nihsauqS, or flippin' and floppin' 'nippolf dna 'nippilf ro flippin' and floppin' 'nippolf dna 'nippilf flippin' and f***in'!"
    • "And in just NINE THOUSAAAAAAAND minutes, you'll have five mouth-waterings piece of s***s!"
    • (As Weegee pops in) "U-U-U-U-U-Use dinner rolls, potato rolls, any buuuuuuuuuuu—" (test pattern) "Bun... nub?"
    • "You can double or triple stack 'em, and watch your family attack 'em!" (nothing happens, crickets chirp) "And watch your family attack 'em!" (burgers get shot)
    • "Cheese, please! Cheese! Che-e-e-e-e-ese will stick!"
    • "Make healthy turkey, chicken and veggie burgers with ease!" (puts burger back) "Ew, this smells!"
    • "And join the craze with me, B-B-B-B-B-Billy Yam! Big cock! Big cock! Big cock! Big cock!"
  • Egoraptor's Explosive Sequelitis Diarrhea with Zelda
    • After the loop of the "da" part of Zelda:
      Krabby Patty Announcer: Da da da da da...
    • "SeaWorld's neat."
    • "So much room for error it's fucking (shows a picture of Unreal Engine) Unreal!"
    • "Blow shit up while doing YA MOM!"
    • "Pig pig (shows a picture of a piggy bank and Hamm) bombs, triangles. Get 666 triangles!"
    • "Witnessing a leg grow a fish!" (cut to a fish with a giant leg in place of a tail)
      Arin: No, Timmy, don't look.
      Timmy: Hi, I'm Timmy Turner, and I cheated on my math test.
    • "I want to be amazed!" (Arin's head turns into a maze)
    • Roman calling Arin to go Bomb Bowling.
    • Arin: Hey, Skyward Sword.
      (Beat)
      Arin: Suck my head!
      Skyward Sword: "Timmy, I'm sorry, I'm just gay."
    • "Save link as"

AlvinYTP (Retired)

antoine35DeLak (now Antoine Delak)

  • The Medic Loves His Patients
    • The YTP frames the RED Medic's story in his Meet the Team video as his delightful retelling of how his BLU counterpart died. The RED Heavy doesn't share his enthusiasm, though.
      [A Meet the Spy scene plays where the RED spy breaks the BLU medic's neck and disguises himself in front of his eyes. The scene fade-transitions into the RED Medic's lab.]
      Medic: ... And ze doctor was never heard from again! AHAHAHAHAHAHAA!
      Heavy: WAAAAAHHH!
      Medic: [cradling Heavy's cheek] Ohhh, don't be such a baby. That was not a good doctor!
    • Midway through Heavy's heart surgery, an injured Scout pleads for the Medic to join the battlefield. This prompts the Medic's Lock-and-Load Montage to play... And he's ready sooner than the music can keep up. The camera lingers on the closed hospital gate for a few awkward seconds, until the operatic sting plays and Medic dramatically exits... Then, the gate abruptly, cartoonishly shuts, leaving the Demoman feebly calling for help.
  • A Lesbian Love Story
    • Right from the start, the team smashes another van driven by the Sniper as he's being interviewed for his Meet the Team trailer.
      "GYAAAHHHH, FAAACK!!!!"
    • This exchange leading up to the giant Demo-Bread Monster's arrival:
      Soldier: I f***ed unicorns.
      Engineer: What?
      Soldier: I am full of magic!
      Engineer: How much.
      Soldier: Tootus invisum modum invocum demoman!
      Medic: NO! Make ze magic stop!
    • GENTLEMEN, BLOW YOUR LITTLE BANANAS!
  • Inhuman Thoughts is filled with all sorts of fantastic moments. It involves the bucket scene from Expiration Date, but instead of dying wishes, the Spy is presenting the team's most inhuman thoughts:
    • Upon learning the bucket contains porn, the Soldier absconds with it, screaming all the way. Then he immediately returns to the table after killing the Medic. It happens again later, complete with another return after three days have passed. At the end of the video, the Spy willingly offers the bucket to the Soldier once their business is complete, but he's angered when his offer is unexpectedly refused.
    • Medic's death gets a nice nod during the Soldier's second return:
      [The scene transitions to the Spy reading in his persoanl lounge, after some time has passed.]
      Medic: [offscreen] Three days later...
      Spy: MEDIC! You are supposed to be dead!
      Medic: DAAARGH!!!!!
    • Scout's inhuman thought isn't a notecard, but a folder full of photos of his mother and the Spy getting frisky. Or at least, it seems to be the Scout's...
      Spy: Apologies. It's mine.
    • The Heavy forgot what his inhuman thought would be, so he just deposited a blank notecard. The Spy is momentarily confused before chiding him.
    • The Engineer, on his card, wrote the entire script of Meet the Engineer, which he begins to recite. The Spy quickly shuts him up before he gets past the intro.
    • The Sniper's inhuman thought?
      Sniper: To think... all I used to want to do was sell insurance.
      [An air horn remix of "Sad Romance" plays as the captions "RIP in PISS Sniper's Hopes & Dreams", and "Liek if you cri evrytiem", appear. A tear rolls down Sniper's face.]
    • Following Sniper's reveal, a "Meet the Insurance Broker" title card appears. It slowly slides down as the fanfare deflates, revealing an incredibly unimpressed Spy.

AquaticNeptune

  • SML YTP: Jeffy Breaks His Spine:
    • The Toyota Prius in the intro crashing into another of itself. This gag is later repeated again, but with an ambulance.
    • When Jeffy gets pushed off the bed, he falls down a hill instead:
      "♫He just keeps tumbling down, tumbling down, tumbling down...♫"
    • Bowser Junior looking up My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic inflation art.
    • Brooklyn T. Guy being blocked by a shirtless Chef Pee Pee.
    • After Junior orders a bomb, Brooklyn T. Guy throws the package containing it up a flight of stairs:
      • First, it hits Chef Pee Pee, who screams "DEAR GOD!" as he's blown up.
      • Then as it's about to land, a dynamite is revealed in the package ("Mama mia!"). Once it lands, it ends as expected.
    • Mario wishing for someone to knock on the door with a free pizza, which happens seconds later. Then, when he wishes for someone to knock on the door and give him and the others in the apartment a free home, Brooklyn T. Guy arrives with ANOTHER pizza.
      "And so they built a new house out of pepporoni (sic) pizzas"
    • Mario, Bowser & Rosalina getting excited by Brooklyn T. Guy telling them about the people killed in the new house.
    • Immediately after, they get scared by the malformed Jeffy from "Jeffy's Flu Shot!"
    • Finally, they get kicked out of the house by Chef Pee Pee, who had been there the whole time.
  • SML YTP: Jeffy's Crappy School Day:
    • The breaking news:
      "MIDLIFE CRISIS! 45 Year old Hill Billy Arrested For skeetin it at 95 mph on a school zone"
    • Jackie Chu: Who are you?
      Toadette: My name is Wendy and I like to blow trees and-
      (freeze frame on Toadette's name tag)
    • Bowser Junior doesn't notice that Jackie Chu is standing right in front of him:
      Jackie Chu: Who are you?
      Bowser Junior: So guys, who's the teacher?
      Jackie Chu: DUMB! DUMB DUMB DUMB-
    • Jackie Chu's severed head claiming that he's really sick.
    • Judy looking into the classroom to see a buff Junior, a googly-eyed Cody, a two-headed Joseph, a burnt Toad, and multiple Jeffys humping the desks.

AReallyAwesomeGuy117

  • The AVGN Gets Run Over By an Ass
    • "It's a load of ass. ASS. ASS."
    • Pinkie Pie's...excitement over frosting dreams has its implications dropped completely.
      Pinkie: Most of my dreams are about sucking a lotta dick. (Begins to drool uncontrollably)
      (Twilight Sparkle stares for a few seconds)
      Twilight with makemebad35's head: WHAT THE FUCK?
      (later)
      Pinkie: (extremely relaxed and still drooling) Creamy creamy cum. Ooooh, yeaaah.

avojaifnot (Retired)

AwfulFawfultheFalafe

AzureIceLordMark

  • Nas kills deejays
    • Nash: "We never really saw the Dalek's Genesis."
    • Orcini with the Monado
    • Jobel: Provided that the bitch doesn't crumble to dust before we get her underground.
    • The stinger:
      Nash: I think I fell in man love with Aurelion Sol.
      Aurelion Sol: Naturally.

BaconatedGrapefruits

Bananimal981

  • susway feces
    • "An ode to the SuS to the SuS to the SuS
    • "Freshly baked head. The Susway Feast, it's as big as my bread."

BarnabasB

BarneyIsPerverted (Retired)

  • Spingebill Blows Exotic Instruments (original video no longer exists, mirrored here.)
    • "Hi, Billy Mays here..." (door slam)
    • "The problem is, I overdosed on ibuprofen and can't make it."
    • This scene:
      Squidward: "Okay, now. How many of you have played with Play-doh before?"
      (Patrick raises his hand)
      Squidward: "How many have you played musical instruments before?"
      Patrick: "Is penis an instrument?"
      Squidward: "No, Patrick, penis is not an instrument."
      Patrick: "Not the way I use em'!"
    • Plankton doing the AVGN theme on harmonica.
    • At the end, the band remembering Squidward's advice on how if they play loud, people might think they're good. So they play an ear-splitting Brown Note that leaves Squidward in shock.
  • Spingebill Experiences a Horrifying NDE: Mr. Krabs humping the sink drain.
    • And subsequently, getting his dick caught and SpongeBob turning on the garbage disposal.
    • "When you're Eminem, you'll really enjoy the way you taste." "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"
    • "That sounds like my baby dropping...!"
    • "Do you want... four pickles?"
    • After Squidward goes crazy with the fire extinguisher, he walks up to SpongeBob, who has a mustache made from the spray. SpongeBob notices Squidward's beard (made from the spray, of course), and the following exchange occurs:
      SpongeBob: Hey, Santa!
      Squidward: (wiping the beard off) IT'S ME, YOU FUCK!!!
  • Spingebill Is Very Insertive
    • Bubble Bass sitting on SpongeBob.
    • "Hey, go fuck that bitch!"
      • (beeping sound) "Whoa, buried treasure!" And then he proceeds to enjoy Lady Gaga's "buried treasure".
    • This scene:
      Plankton: SpongeBob, that was wonderful! Is that an all-over tan?
      SpongeBob (as his pants fall down): Well, not all of me!
      Nat: Dude, put that thing away, there are like, children here!

BatHunterOfDevon

Bendyfan Animations

  • BFDI 1a: Give the Plunge
    • This:
      Pencil: Flower's really afraid of flowers.
      (cut to Flower kicking a duplicate of herself)
    • The "I got dead again" scene from SpongeBob SquarePants being re-enacted by Snowball.
    • The Announcer saying that the contesants will be competing on Squid Game.
    • The fake ending, where the Announcer grants Dream Island to Pin and Leafy and a credits scene starts to play, only for the Announcer to say "SIKE!" and cut off the credits.
  • BFDI 1b: Give the Plunge 2: Electric Boogaloo
    • Leafy saying "Ice Cube" being remixed to "Ice Ice Baby".
    • This scene:
      Snowball: (while Flower is dancing provocatively in the background) That Flower is really sexy.
      Blocky: I'll do it! I'll do it! I'll fuck her up!
      Bubble: Uh-oh.
      (Law & Order: Special Victims Unit title pops up accompanied by its iconic sound)
    • Once there are 5 contesants left to be selected for the teams:
      Profily: Don't you mean 6?
      Other contestants: No.
    • Pen says "I'm a oar!" while the word "OR" is overlaid over him.

bentbob

TheBigDog111

  • Lawl Yayman sucks SeeS RooR
    • "Ladies and cocksuckers! My mom's name is Hay Paulmen, and I am Lawl Yayman!"
    • SeeS RooR: "The cocksucker! ...That had a real tough time getting SUCKed by Daniel Bryan."
    • "And in each and every one of those cases, CoC Sesnar had... 6...6...6... days to FUCK for those opponents!"

TheBigL1

The Black Lodger

  • Starscream Forms a Satanic Cult
    • Starscream tries shooting Megatron in the back, but the latter walks away, completely unscathed.
      Starscream: What the f**k?! Megatron! You... you dick!
      Megatron: Fool! I cannot be terminated by a single blast from your puny weapon! I'm sick of your shit, especially at the cost of losing my cock!
    • The Combaticons’ introduction has this:
      Onslaught: Who the f**k are you?
      The Who’s “Who Are You” plays
      Onslaught: And what are we doing in these cocks?
    • Batman, of all people, attacking the Autobots.
    • Megatron confronting Optimus Prime.
      Megatron: Return to me what is mine, and I will show you my ass!
      Optimus: What the f**k are you talking about?! Return what?
    • This bit:
      Optimus: Siri, we need to know everything you have on the history of gay Decepticons.
      Siri: Sorry, I didn't quite get that.
    • "No Starscream! Not your ice cream, MY ice cream!"

Bloodage Edits

Bluegroove157 (retired)

  • Mighty Sh*t Remover
    • "The super powered salsa that removes shit with confidence!"
    • "Its patented formula delivers salsa and detergent throughout your wash cycle, instantly removes shit from your clothes."
    • "How do you know it's not gonna dissolve more than what you need?" "Go [bleep] yourself!"
    • "Order now, or Billy Mays will ruin your onions!"

  • Billy Mays Sells Stuff Jacked Up on Red Bull
    • "You're on the toilet leaving a Hercules-sized shit and it won't come out." "Oh wait, that's Flummywister's video. Sorry…"
    • The whole "Gator Paper" part.
    • "Really long text that only appears for 1 frame, but you thought that you caught something while watching the video, so you replayed it a few times and tried to pause it at the right time to see what important thing was said here only to find that it means nothing! In the tone of Nelson Muntz, 'Ha ha!'"
    • "I have two of them because I have two of them. Most people won't get shit."
    • "We're here to tell you: go fuck yourself with the Jupiter Jack!" (Those involved in this portion of the collaboration do not encourage doing weird things to yourself with the Jupiter Jack)
    • "If you're having problems with hard water build-up, soap scum, ring around the toilet, calcium, lime, and rust stains, then you need to grow the fuck up! Suck it up and get a JoJ!"

  • Vince Shticks It to Your Sofa
    • "Hey, it's Vince Offer here with my new product called Shit on a Stick!"
    • "And ladies, you're gonna like the little dick, but you're gonna love the big dick." o_o

  • Cs188 does the JOJ at the GYAAYG
    • "Cs here, at the GYG!"
    • "I love balls."

  • Diabeetus has Wilford Brimley
    • "Good morning, Uh, I uh, uh, uh, uh… you know… shit." (color bars) "I'm Wilford Brimley and I shit in your apple pie."
    • "Well, if you have diabeetus, and your diabeetus has diabeetus, well, you have diabeetus." (O RLY? owl appears)
    • "I'd like to talk to you for a few minutes about diabeetus. Actually, about…" (Record Needle Scratch) "…diabeetus."
    • "Have a good dick." (color bars) "Have a good day. Yay."
    • "I lost all my shit, and as a result of all these things, my dick hurts like hell."

  • Radicalfaith360 Does it All Over Again
    • "We can shit in a Big City Toilet!"
    • "Today, I'm showing you how to screw your friends. So what you'll do is you'll take your penis and you will lightly tap your friend's ass."
    • "What do you do when you doo-doo in your car? You get Kaboom and stick it in your pooper!"
    • "Woody!"
    • "When it comes to FAAF repair in North FAAF, there is nobody with an A+ rating that has a high Better Business Bureau."

  • Billy Mays Discusses Those Awkward Moments
    • "It happens. You see your mom in the shower with no clothing, and you vomit your Big City Slider all over the bathroom. Hi, Billy Mays here with Zorbeez!" BAD IDEA
    • "It happens. You get your cock stuck in a bucket of cheese and it smells like shit. Hi, Billy Mays here for What Odor." WORSE IDEA
    • "It happens. You get gophers up your ass—Who wrote this shit?"
    • "You can also shit on a bed of onions for that classic shit on a bed of onions taste."
    • "Hey, check out the hay!"
    • "And you can't blow those businessmen the way you thought you could. Maybe you just went and drove, because you knew they'd ruin your cock for life."
    • "It's called the Shit King. When two laxatives aren't enough—hguoneenough— reach for the Shit King. Shit will fly from your ass at over 100 miles an hour! Call now and you'll get the Shit King kit complete with guaranteed diarrhea, all for just 19 sliced onions. As a special bonus, we'll also include our Shit Grater for no reason, freerf."

  • RadicalFaith360's "The Bitch Switch" Reenpoopment
    • Firstly, it's a role reversal for Radicalfaith360, he "made" the poop first, and then bluegroove and another user reconstructed it with actual Billy Mays clips.
    • "Billy Mays here for the Bitch Switch, the easy way to turn on any bitch, with the flick of a switch!"
    • "You can even shit in a child—" (WAIT! WRONG VIDEO) "You can even have sex in a rocket ship, or sex on the moon, or in space, or in the kitchen, when you cook delicious Big City Titties! Moms are gonna love it!"
    • "You can even flick the switch wherever you are, and it becomes the Handy Jack-it Switch!" (NASTY-EYAY-EYAY-AAAY)
    • "But I'm not done yet! Billy Mays—" (clip of a turtle)

  • WTF Spray
    • "Unlike other products that don't do shit, WTF Spray completely eliminates orange clothing forever. And is it true that WTF Spray can grate cheese with ease in less than 10 seconds?"
    • "Why am I shouting? Who f[bleep]ing cares?"
    • "If you wanna get the JoJ done, you want Billy Mays, a name you can trust. Introducing the Billy Mays Ultimate Cock, eight cocks in one!"
    • "Ordinary cocks are too small to get the JoJ done. My cock has the strength to pull this fully loaded, 80,000 pound tractor trailer!"
    • This:
      Anthony Sullivan: Hey, it's Sully.
      Billy Mays (over Jupiter Jack): Hi, it's Billy. I want the JoJ!
      Anthony: The JoJ died.
      Billy: Are you shittin' me? I want the f[bleep]ing JoJ!
      Anthony: Be there in about 20 minutes.
      Billy: No problem, see ya.
      Anthony: See ya then.
      (21 minutes later)
      (Billy and Anthony are watching this video)
      cs188: ...against one of my, um, JoJ videos, and the person basically wanted all of the remix videos using foundation repair sources taken off YouTube...
      Billy Mays: God damn it! I wanted to do it all over again!

  • bluegroove157's Even Bigger 205 Subscriber Special
    • "Hi, Billy Mays here for bluegroove157. I know what you're thinking. Another fucking Billy Mays YouTube Poop — are you shittin' me?"
    • "Turtle!"
    • "...an inspector cumming in her cheese."
    • "And suddenly one day, our teacher, Miss Goodall, said there was a windmill stuck up her ass." (That's enough of Rosen's childhood!!!)
    • "Sometimes sex with Billy Mays is the solution! Sometimes Billy Mays likes to stick his whopping six-pound balls under—" (Woah! Too much!!!)
    • "Talk about a luxururururious bedroom! This is the one I had sex on. You're gonna love it!"
  • Billy Mays Gets Trolled at McDonald's
    • "I know what you're thinking. What prevents bears from taking HoH SiS?"
    • This:
      Drive-thru lady: Good morning, can I help you?
      Billy Mays: Hi, Billy Mays here! Can I get a sausage?
      Drive-thru lady: No.
      Billy: Make that two shit burritos.
      Drive-thru lady: No.
      Billy: You know what? Lemme wash that down with some Coca-Cola, I mean, cat urine.
      Drive-thru lady: No.
      Billy: What the fuck? I'm Billy Mays. You suck.
      Drive-thru lady: Okay.
      Billy: Can I talk to the fucking manager?
      Drive-thru lady: Okay.
      Billy: Asshole. Hi, Billy Mays here!
      Anthony Sullivan (over drive-thru speaker): Hi, Anthony Sullivan here!
      Billy: Are you shittin' me?
      Anthony: No.
      Billy: Fuck this shit. This is Billy Mays, and I'm going to Burger King!
  • The Billy Bazooka
    • "I love caffeine, don't you? Hi, Billy Mays here for Red Bull, the easy way to get up and go. Red Bull gives you the power to do all types of shit without breaking your back."
    • "If you're having problems with people's shit, then you need the Billy Bazooka, the most powerful bazooka that's legal!"
    • "It has the strength to completely eliminate storm-force oranges!"
  • Morons Away
    • "Here's how it works. Just add this thing, simply shit to activate—" (scene missing) "—pour in water, and hang it. That's it!"
    • "Use Morons Away outside to keep those pesky assholes from coming inside. Your family gatherings will be asshole free, guaranteed."
    • "So stop shitting next to your bed. Stop spraying What Odor to eliminate the odors. And get the ultimate green invention for your asshole prevention. Call now and get not one but two Morons Away for only 14 ounces of liquid."
    • "Burnt on shit will stick to any phone."
  • Mighty Orange Tough Acting Desh*tter
    • "It's powered with Billy Mays' patented gopher blood."
    • "I know what you're thinking: what about the rinse cycle? [bleep] you."
    • "...47 payments of pet hair!"
    • "You're gonna love my nuts."
  • Impact Sword
    • "Other hardwood floors suck and break down over time. Not my hardwood floors. Shit flies right from my floors faster than a gopher on crack."
    • "This giant medieval sword is the most convenient device to damage almost anything. Use it to cut through your shower with ease, or kill gophers for no reason."
  • The iSh*t Toilet
    • "I know I should have gophers."
    • microphone stand not included
    • "Hi, Billy Mays here for the iShit, the most affordable and easy way to pee and shit on the go!"
    • "The iShit comes with speakers. You hear music as you shit. If you want more volume, just turn it up."
    • "Ordinary toilets look like this. Would you shit in this?"
    • "Nothing is more important than shitting with confidence."
  • Liquid Weed
    • "Are you tired of using sprays that don't get you high?"
    • "Spray Liquid Weed into the air you breathe, and forget about life!"
    • "It's faster than glue and more satisfying than crack."
    • "...for 15 pounds of Phillips heads."
  • Billy Mays Gets Increasingly Annoyed With YouTube Censoring His Videos
    • "If you're too lazy to wipe your ass, then you gotta see this. Billy Mays here for the Never Wipe, the fast and easy way to wipe your ass without your hands." YouTube has stopped the advertisement for the totally awesome Never Wipe. This video has been removed by the user. Sorry about that. "Crap."
    • "Wanna know the best way to get your stains out in the wash? Well, fuck you, asshole!" YouTube has stopped the advertisement for whatever Billy was about to sell. This video has been removed by the user. Sorry about that. "God damn it!"
    • "Hi, Billy Mays here. Do you enjoy the ride? Of course you do! But now you can enjoy the ride even more with Billy Mays, a name you can trust. Introducing Billy Mays Condom! Go longer and harder with the Billy Mays Condom!" "Yeah!" "That's right, with the new condom from Billy Mays, your enjoyment level will go from this—" (short bar) "—to this—" (longer bar labeled "SEX") "—in no time at all. Here's how it works…" We totally can't show you how it works. This video has been removed by the user. Sorry about that. "Fuck. "
    • "Billy Mays knows how to please Your Mom!" No one needed to know that. This video has been removed by the user. Sorry about that. "Oh come on!"
    • "Hi, Billy Mays here" Add funny thing here in the morning. This video has been removed by the user. Sorry about that. "OH MY GOD! YouTube, it's over! Billy Mays doesn't take this!"
    • Billy Mays getting into a helicopter to bomb Google.
    • "Hi, it's Billy." "Hi, it's Carla. What would happen if you combined a cheese grater with a plate?" "I don't have time!"
  • JiiJ Played Baseball
    • "I'm Lieutenant Pingas, a juvenile police officer attached to your mother. I'm on my way to high school to hang up young people."
    • "JiiJ played baseball and he didn't feel like playing baseball, so he decided to play baseball all afternoon, and he didn't feel like baseball, so he decided to thumb a ho. Then during lunch, the ho died. Jimmy was arrested, and Jimmy was released, and Jimmy was arrested again, and JiiJ played baseball, and he didn't think anything was unusual." "It's not—"
    • "Public restrooms can often be a nice place to shit."
    • "Sure enough, Jimmy was playing with his balls, and when Bobby recognized his balls, Bobby hauled ass." VROOOOOOOM
  • Billy Mays Loses the Plot Entirely

  • Anthony Sullivan — Suicide Mop

  • Billy Insurance

BlueOrco

  • Mary SuuS:
    • "Is Mary Sue not in the scene? Have every other character there talk about depressing stuff like what Mary Sue is doing" stands out as a funny line, despite only changing a little from the source material.

bolvelt

  • Pete's nervous 'bout quagfest:
    • We see Tom Tucker on TV saying, "And thataht dnA". A duck then appears on the screen and walks to a song, until JonTron tells it to stop in a very weird way.
    • This video has a few jokes with characters doing repetitive things while other characters onscreen act normal. One of these jokes has Peter making constant "pff" noises while dissing Liam Neeson.

Bombinmepants

Boogidyboo (Retired)

  • Robotnik Protects His Sex:
    • I just got here! *BOOM* If it sounds too good to be true, it's probably SEMEN!
    • Amazingly, you have a penis!
  • Robotnik Blinks:
    • "It's time to unleash my body parts, and FUCK Sonic like a bug!"
    • "WHO TOUCHED MY GUN?!" "Who cares?" (cut to Heavy, looking affronted)
    • "What have you got?" "Penis! Let me show you how it works..."
  • Robotnik, She Wrote:
    • "If I had captured your companion, I'd be FUCKing him right now!"
    • Robotnik singing "Running in the 90s"
    • "There's no escape from the wrath of diabeetus."
    • The ending. "Oh, he'll be fine, he's fat."
  • Robotnik is Unstoppable:
    • "I haven't seen such lunacy since I banned my crazy cousin Walrusguy!"
    • "You're GAY?! FUCK you!"
  • Robotnik Meets The Tick
    Arthur: You can't fight evil with a macaroni duck!
    Tick: Gay Luigi?
    (Tick walks out of the room and smashes through the door frame in slow motion while a distorted sound plays)
    • The map light.
  • Robotnik is Due:
    Phoenix Wright: Youtube Poop. Where there's smoke... THEY PINCH BACK! What do you have to say to that, Dr. Robotnik!
    Robotnik: DAAAAAHHH, @%$#! I HATE that defense attorney! (throws penis at Phoenix) Pingas!
    • Robotnik isn't unhappy, in fact, he's... (extremely sped-up footage of a Team Fortress 2 player griefing Snipers)
    • Robotnik and his mother:
      Robotnik: WHY did you leave the Mobius Home for Really Bizarre Mothers?
      (drowning theme from Sonic Adventure)
      Momma Robotnik: JOSH.

Brendan Barney

  • Bear's Weird Morning:
    • In what Brendan Barney himself said was his "first original joke", Bear says "Howdy, howdy, howdy!" which makes Woody laugh sarcastically.
  • Teletubbies In 1 Minute!:
    • "Telly tits."
    • "Where have the 'where haves' gone?"
  • TeletuteleT:
    • "Where have the fuckin' Teletubbies gone?"
    • At one point, a voice trumpet emerges, but it goes up so high that it reaches outer space! It then proceeds to give an extremely loud "Tubby Bye-Bye" announcement.
  • Birnee's Unlucky Wish:
    • The Barney Fan Club announcement is edited to say the following: "Hi, kikes! I'm Islamic! Guess what? You can go die! (a distorted test pattern appears very briefly) Just send me your cock. Gotta go—whoa—who-O-O-O-"
    • The beginning of Barney's theme song is edited to play the Peppa Pig theme song.
    • Barney says, "I wish we were at Teletubbyland." He and the Backyard Gang are then teleported to there, and when the Teletubbies come out of their house, they collide with Barney, bumping him away.
  • Don't Dance with the Teletubbies:
    • At one point, the Sun Baby sings "In the Hall of the Mountain King".

BrickBuster2552

Brickertown

  • The Shit-story of the Entire World, I Guess
    • "Weather Update: It's raining socks from outer space. Weather Update: It's raining lava. Weather Update: AAAAAAHHHHH!!! Weather Update: The rain is no longer lava. Severe Flooding Alert: The entire ocean is now full of plastic."
    • "Hey, can we go on land? NO. Why? The sun is a lazy fucker."
    • "Tired of fucking lame, sad people? Introducing: porn"
    • The video ends with everyone on Earth dying when the United States fights themselves in a "Shacific Powdown".
  • The Shit-story of Japan
    • "In the year negative a-fuck-ton, Japan might not have been here. In the year negative a-shit-ton it was here."
    • Japan coming into being with everyone using TVs, VCRs, and automobiles. Then the US comes using futuristic tech like bowls.
      "No, don't do that, if you're in the year -1,000,000,000 you're not supposed to use stones and bowls!"
      And japan said "HoW BoUt I dO ''aNyWaY?''"
    • "Making the government govern more like China's government, which is a govern-more-ment, which is a government that governs China's government, which is a government that governs more."
    • "The samurai became samurai, so they made their own sexytimes."
  • Pan
  • The Previously Uploaded Adventures of JoJo TroT and Ayy-Ayy-Ron
    • "This, can be this, for one-hundred percent of THIS."
    • "A hundred percent of the price for half the price! Call in now, get shirts. Call in later, get half the shirts. I'm not even dead.
    • "Arin, what you get here is something you get anywhere else. You get a quauq, you get a semen! *punches the T-shirt so hard it explodes*
    • "Who's gotta shit?" "Nobody."
    • "Have you seen a dog?"
    • "Borderline sex."
    • "iPhone, iPhone, Androne, out the Windone!"
    • "𝅘𝅥𝅮 Amazing deals after grace 𝅘𝅥𝅮 You surprise me with your lack of cock 𝅘𝅥𝅮"
    • JonTron and Arin know what they're thinking:
      Arin: Jon, I know what you're thinking.
      Jon: Now Arin, I-
      Arin: -know what you're thinking.
      Jon: Now Arin, I know-
      Arin: -what you're thinking!
      Jon: Now Arin, I-
      Arin: -KNOW-!
      Jon: -what you're thinking.
      Arin: I don't.
    • "Even deven AAAAAAAA!

busnut33

  • Full Metal Facial
    • Gunnery Sergeant Hartman replacing the lion in the Metro Goldwyn Mayer intro. With the lion roar still intact.
    • Private Brown's first encounter with Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
      Gny Sgt. Hartman: "What's your name, watermelon ballbag?"
      Pvt. Brown: "Sir, Private Brown, Sir!"
      Gny Sgt. Hartman: "Bullshit! From now on, you're Private Fried Chicken Balls. Do you like that name?"
    • Private Joker saying "John" to the tune of the Imperial March.
    • There is a "I love dick" tattoo in pink lettering on the back of Private Cowboy's head, complete with a tattoo of the aforementioned organ.

buttnugetz

  • s3mengirl plays with her bubble wubble balls
    • "Hey, everybody, it's s3mengirl, and it's everybody's faav day of the week, when we ask ourselves, 'Is my penis jiggly?'"
    • "There's a little dick that you actually stick inside of my butt."
    • "Because I love you so much, I'm gonna suck your cock!"
    • "Hopefully, I'm not gonna squash your penis when I try and sit on it."
    • "I can blow you and pleasure you in the back of the store."
    • "I feel like my ear has been touched."

TheCaledioScope (all reuploads)

  • Eric ends his Relationship with Mike
  • Littlest Pork Chop
  • The Neverending Critic Reviews The Roof
    • "Once upon a time, there was a movie called Toy Story. And it blew." (troll face)
    • "Jessica Elwood." (She is an artist on DeviantArt and FurAffinity. For the people who like furry/anthro art you really gotta chack [sic] her art out! <3)
    • "And Jesus went up to Jurassic Pork."
    • "Did you know that pussies get wet?"
    • "Bowser's Incest Story."
    • This:
      The Nostalgia Critic: Let's dive right into The Roof. We cut to our star of our movie, Soap.
      Tommy Wiseau (distorted and red-tinted): Hi babe.
      Critic: (screams) The devil!
      Devil!Wiseau: I have something for you. I haven't forgotten you, Critic!
      Critic: (screams again and runs out of the room) And we've just witnessed your Nightmare Fuel for the week, people. Be very afraid.
    • "5-Hour Energy. My name is Jay Lynn, and I am soup."
    • "He's a skiiks! She's a skiiks!"
  • Billy Mayhem
    • "Those restaurant mini-burgers need to die!"
    • "Everyone loves Billy Mays, so buy Billy Mays right now. Here's how to order!"
    • "Moms, you're gonna love Billy Mays' big cock."
    • "Mighty Putty is not a glue. Mighty Putty is a glue."
    • "Are you on the bomb?" "Wow, what's this?" "It's new Oxi-Bomb Detergent. Get on the bomb and you'll never have to pour or measure detergent again." "So how does it work?" "Just place the Oxi Bomb detergent ball in the blue toss and go dispenser. Just toss and go. It stays in your—" BOOM "You shittin' me?"

cantflyman

CaptainOhYeah

captpan6

Cavan002

  • MISUTAA SUPAAKORU NO SUPAA KAWAII ADOBENCHAA
    • At one point, Lisa Simpson says "There is a fungus among us." and various Super Mushrooms slide across the screen.
    • Homer and Bart Simpson prepare to dump a barrel filled with a certain bodily fluid on someone.
      Homer: Eat semen, jerk!
    • The random sequence at the end set to "Call on Me", featuring a rainbow Homer moving around with red and green Ned Flanders in the background.

CerebralAssassin1983

ChaoticEnrico

chemistryguy

  • Bob the Pat Squid and Patties Too!
    • Pretty much the entire intro, which is set to "Ballroom Blitz" by Sweet, but especially the part where the fish gets hooked offscreen.
    • Mr. Krabs: "Good mornin'..."
      SpongeBob (as Robin Williams in Good Morning, Vietnam): "...Vietnam!" Squidward then drops him, after which he breaks apart.
    • Patrick: Wow! This hotel has everything!
      Bill Cosby: You better believe it.
    • The remix of Patrick's line "What about my Krabby Patty?" to "Major Tom (Coming Home)."
    • Near the end, Mr. Krabs' arm gets chopped off by a closing elevator. It then flies around, eventually hitting Squidward and exploding. There are no words to describe what happens afterwards. All we can say is that it involves ponies, Mr. Krabs sputtering slowed-down gibberish, and SpongeBob delivering a Krabby Patty to Patrick.

  • Cookie Monster and the Case of the Mysterious Ticking Snickerdoodle is pretty much a laugh riot from the get-go.
    • Bert: "And the sign there says 'Ernie's Barber Shosh.'"
    • Bert: You're not sererious, Ernie.
      Ernie: Of course I'm serierious.
      Bert: But Ernie, you're so stupid!
      Ernie then sings opera. Applause follows.
    • A good companion to the other two above - "And the sign there says 'Ernie's So Stupid.'"
    • Bert tells Ernie to cut his hair short, and Ernie chops off his head with a pair of scissors.
    • Fozzie Bear (as Bert): Barber pole?
      Kermit (as Ernie): Barber pole?
    • Bert and Ernie singing "Why Cant We Be Friends?" Enough said.
    • At the beginning of the Mystery Box segment, Kermit saying "No, it is not a (motoresque sound)"
    • Cookie Monster saying "Me want Blue's Clues." Which is funny, given Blue's Clues is possibly chemistryguy's favorite source.
    • "Me. Want. Cook. Ie." Cookie Monster then devours Kermit as if he were being run through a paper shredder.
    • Kermit: "Fiiigaroooo."

  • Frarffy the Snasmam and the Art of Motorcycle Repair
    • The opening, featuring a real-life snowman coming to life:
      Snowman: Great! I always wanted to be Frosty the Snowman!
      (the real Frosty pops up with text saying "NOT FROSTY")
      Snowman: I think, therefore I am.
      (the snowman is subsequently melted by Olaf's warm hugs)
    • Frosty: I hate red thermometers.
      Karen: Why, Frarffy?
      Frosty: Cause I hate red thermometers.
    • Frosty, in response to being asked where he would stay: "The only place I'd never melt is the North Pole." It cuts to a scene with a polar bear on an ice block in the sea.
      "I hate polar bears."
    • "Come on now. Get inside my asshole." Cue kids leaping into Frosty's ass, constantly expanding until it explodes.

  • Look what I found on the computer
    • These two gems said by Steve at the beginning:
      "I just discovered something. I breathe. Can you?"
      "Hey. What part of Blue's body does she use to make puppies?"
    • A close-up of Steve saying, "Do you ever get the feeling you are being watched?"
      "Only 10k views so far...so, no, not really"
    • The computer scene:
      Cursor: Look what I found on the computer.
      (The cursor clicks through a scene involving Goofy and Donald Duck having sex, The Kitty Cat Dance, and a clip of people in fursuits)
    • Steve's new rendition of the mail song: "Here's the mail, it never mails, it makes me wanna wag my mail, when it comes I wanna mail."
    • As Mailbox opens and closes, the last part of the Mail Song can be heard.
    • Mailbox repeatedly blinks his eyes.
      Steve: "What are you doing?"
      Mailbox: "Oh, I'm just moistening my balls."

  • Yet another cat video on YouTube
    • The Cat's song in the beginning soon devolves into:
      The Cat in the Hat: I frequently find myself shitting Sneetches.
      (cut to the Cat pooping out Sneetches into a toilet)
      The Cat: Beautiful Sneetches. Glorious Sneetches. Sexy Sneetches.
      (a sex scene between the Cat and a Sneetch occurs, followed by a Disney Acid Sequence which includes, among other things, the Cat in the Hat suddenly hatching from an egg and spitting eggs all over the place.)
    • The Sneetches get interrupted by an important announcement: "God's big penis is going to strike, and it's going to affect globally."
      (God's penis, represented by King Harkinian's finger, plunges into the Earth with a loud "PINGAS", ending with warning sirens and the King laughing)
    • Sylvester McMonkey McBean claims he's the monkey, and his head turns into that of a screaming monkey.
    • Sylvester McMonkey McBean: "I'm The Lorax. I speak for the trees."

  • The Little Ratholes starring Spunky in....WHAT THE FUUUUUU
    • A kid shouts at the rest to "SIT STILL!"
    • This line: "Her name was JAAAAAJ JAAAAJ JAAAJ. Her name was Monkey S**t. AHHHHHHH."
    • One of the kids repeatedly saying "SNORK".

  • St. Bob the Absorbent Wipes Clean the Grape Juice Stains of Humanity

  • How to Destroy a Child (In Less Than 3 Steps)
    • After Wolfie explains his mission to Oso:
      Oso: (as he's shooting the train with his finger) You can count on me!
      Wolfie: Pay, attention, Oso.
      Oso: (keeps shooting the train)
      Wolfie: PAY ATTENTION, OSO.
    • And the scene directly afterward:
      Train: Choose the right track to take us to the sea!
      Oso: No problem!
      (multiple train tracks appear overlaid on one another)
      Oso: Problem!
    • Oso: What's the codename?
      Mr. Dos: SAY "WHAT" AGAIN!
      (Oso says "What" multiple times)
    • As Oso helps Grayson get ready for show-and-tell:
      Grayson: How about Floppy Dog?
      Oso: (in a low voice as Floppy Dog increases in size) Floppy Dog's too big.
      Grayson: How about Floppy Dog?
      Oso: (as Floppy Dog suddenly shrinks in size) Nope. Floppy Dog's too small.
      Grayson: Let's see... How about Floppy Dog?
      Oso: Yeah!
    • The ending:
      Paw Pilot: Step 2: Show it to your friends!
      Grayson: How can I do that? I don't have any friends.
      (cue the cast all gaining shocked and dismayed expressions as the video ends)

  • An Anthropomorphic Bear Takes a S#!* in the Woods
    • Oso falling out of the logo.
    • Oso zoning out and thinking he'll crash his car instead of turning it.
    • Joe being unamused at his mother not knowing what his dinosaur toy is and roaring in her face like a dinosaur.
    • Paw Pilot's special mission:
      Paw Pilot: 3 special steps, and you'll fuck me.
      Oso: Special assignment accepted!
    • Oso is determining the location of a library by checking if a place is quiet. Then he finds the library:
      (noises of a fire station are head from the most definitely not quiet library)
      Oso: We found the library!

  • The Real Reason Steve Left
    • As soon as we're in the house: we get this:
      Steve: Blue is... (Steve starts communicating through rapid hand movements) ...Blue. Will you help me?
      Child: No!
    • Steve and the plates.
      Steve: (to a drawing of a fork, plate, and spoon) It's a plate, a plate, and a plate.
      (a "wrong" buzzer sounds as the screen turns red)
    • Steve singing to the 3 songs in the show which share the same motif:
      "We're gonna figure out Blues' Clues, we just got a letter, we just figured out Blues' Clues..." (the endings of the 3 songs play at once, and the buzzer sounds again)
    • Steve talks to Pail:
      Pail: Which way should I go?
      Steve: Well, Pail, you should go here. (while zooming in on Steve's behind) Through the butt.
    • Steve notices that a bird "is a beautiful shade of clue!'
    • Steve repeating words once again:
      "This sign is our second sign and it's a sign with a sign."
    • Mailbox leaving Steve's sight after he keeps getting interrupted.

ChibsOgItchy

ChiefBrodyRules

ChiliCheeseNips

  • Pan Special:
    • Apparently, scientists have some very interesting priorities during pandemics.
      Newscaster: Scientists are getting closer to fucking the COVID pandemic. Kick.
      Scientist: Yes, we've been able to fuck the virus and confirm that it did, in fact, cum.

Chris10237

  • Squidville Is Full of Idiots.
    • In response to SpongeBob and Patrick playing with a leaf blower:
      Squidward: Playing with a PINGAS? That's the most GAY thing I've ever heard!
      • Immediately after this, Squidward argues with himself from later in the episode.
    • Patrick: Are you Squidward?
      Fire hydrant: YES!
    • When Squidward starts playing with the reef blower:
      Squidward: Looks like when it comes to having fun, you will DIE!
    • Canned bread's frequent mentions. First, Squidward comes to Squidville just because of it, and then he starts calling everything "canned bread" in a warped voice. Finally, Patrick's bad breath comes from canned bread instead.
    • The squid who just says "turkey sandwich". Later, he calls Squidward just to say that same phrase again.
  • Squidward Keeps Getting RickRoll'd

ChristophersThings

Cicabeot1

cjflo

  • "I'M GUNNA SHOOT SOMEBODY", a two-part 14.5-minute epic in which cjflo manages to make R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet" even more ridiculous than the original:
    • From part one we have: Then a knock on the door, the gun's in my hand/He opens the door, the gun's in my hand/He looks at the closet, I pull out my Beretta/He opens the door, I can't believe it's a midget... ...Well...GET TO THE POINT! Or I'M GUNNA SHOOT SOMEBODY...
      • It's the way the guy just lets his arm drop and stares into oblivion, like his life is now complete that makes it!
    • From part two we have: Twan opens the door and it's Rosie the nosy neighbor... then all of a sudden, POW!
      • Plus the Mood Whiplash thirty seconds later...
        And then we all laughed, Twan said, "She gonna die?" "No doubt!
    • Any time the title gets dropped. The midget even gets shot after he says it.
  • "You are already subscribed to BILL COSBY", another epic from one of her favorite sources, The Cosby Show:
    • The opening credits sequence gets a surreal makeover, with Cosby's name spammed numerous times and his face contorted in the most ridiculous fashions.
    • In all its glory:
      BILL COSBY
      in
      BILL COSBY
      THE BILL COSBY SHOWSBY
      BILL BILLSBY
      With BILL COSBY as BILL COSBY
      SABRINABILL COSLEBEAUFBY
      CILL BOSBY
      PRODUCED BY BILL COSBY with help from BILL COSBY
      Creative Consultant/Producer/Co-executive Producer BILL COSBY
      Based on a BILL COSBY created by BILL COSBY
      Additional BILL COSBY provided by BILL COSBY
      Original BILL COSBY Written and Arranged by BILL COSBY
      BILL COSBY Would Like to Thank all of the BILL COSBY Out There For Making BILL COSBY BILL COSBY

    • Cliff Huxtable's obsession with penises and grounding his daughters (especially when he catches one of them watching Pulp Fiction).
    • The scenes where the parents meet Denise's boyfriend Eddie are also not sacred, as Eddie starts scatting "Reggae" in outrageous fashions ("And Eddie, are you and Denise going out—" "EH MON." *sagenod*).
  • After an extended hiatus from YTP, cjflo came back with the 38 minute "The Flesh Pinch of Ball Hair" (Dailymotion reupload), where all of her greatest Fresh Prince Running Gags deliver an endless assault, and even Bill Cosby and R. Kelly make cameo appearances. The length and pace are not for the faint of heart, but those who stick around are greatly rewarded.

claudestultus

  • Gravity Faaf (original video removed; reuploaded here)
    • Dipper getting scared of Grunkle Stan so much that he explodes then inexplicably comes back to life.
    • "Our uncle had transformed his house into a house he called The House."
    • "Alright, ladies and gentlemen, behold: my ass!"
    • Dipper's mosquito bites spelling out "Bieber".
    • "Grunkle Stan says I was being paranoid, but according to this book I'm paranoid."
    • "You think [Norman] might be Pinkie Pie? That would be so awesome!"
    • "I'm gonna be a door and he's gonna be one of your crazy conspiracies!"
    • "Her aim is getting better!"
    • "I am one million dicks!"
    • "You kids could go waste your time on some epic FUUF, or you could spend your day learning how to SKEWWEKS!"
    • "ANUS GAY"
    • "Why yes, of course you can chew on my penis."
    • "Behold, the rock that looks like a rock. It looks like a rock, but it's a rock." "Does it look like a rock?" "No, it looks like a rock." "Is it a face?" "Yes, it's a face."

cloaytonem2

CODEandAR

Combuskenisawesome

  • Although not a YouTube Poop per se, BIONICLE 2: Bootleg Subtitles!
    Vakama: Do Not Want!
    • Metru Nui is translated as "Nui of Subway."
    • plate launcher
  • 107- THE P0VVER RANGER$ 0PERATl0N 0VERDRlVE ADULT PARTY CART00N
    "It's time to go organic." note 
  • 152- Neverending Breakfast:
    • CiA changes her watermark to say "cs188", accompanied by this Freeze-Frame Bonus:
      I wonder how many idiots I can get in the comments claiming that I stole this video from the guy known for doing music video YTPs simply by putting his name in the bottom right like this.
    • "Our situation goes like this: every time that you bitch, I'm tempted to die. Rare... eraR."
    • "I probably never will be in bed."
    • "Let heaven know how shit you are. I'll sing it to the stars."
    • "We can take a dark brown shit. We can die by ourselves. 'Cause what we have is shit. Shit. Shit. uiSh.
    • CiA recreates the Doctor Who intro with Deep Blue Something's "Breakfast at Tiffany's."
    • "You'll say the world has come between us. A Kamen Rider has come between us."
    • "I'll sing it again and again and again and again and agai-" "NO ONE ENJOYS THAT!"
  • 185- 2013
    • A small Running Gag here is the Historical Inaccuracy list... which is about rather mundane facts that didn't happen in the year 2012, including the Sony Ericsson still being around, and people still using Windows Vista. The fifth fact is kids still playing PSPs even though the Vita is out... and then it says it actually did happen.
      "Well played, Sony."
  • 195- TIME FOR A LITTLE VIDEO GAME BREAK:
    • "RRGH! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH DIAMONDS THE DIAMONDS IN THOSE LASERS COST ME?! RRGH! AND THOSE DRONES DON'T COME CHEAP! CHEAP! CHEAP! CHEAP! DO YOU KNOW THE MUFFIN MAN?!"
    • "He's a mansion."
    • "Put it in my ass." "The results would be... disASStrous."
    • Justin Hammer's Take That! towards Metroid: Other M:
      I'll download you into a hard drive and drop you into the sewer.
    • "It's Man Iron! Just the butt I wanted to see!"
    • "I DIDN'T SPEND 40 MILLION ON VIDEO GAMES FOR NOTHING!"
  • 199- The Extended Weekend of Sparkle; special mention goes to the Disney Acid Sequence with Twilight meeting Miss America.
  • The short poop made in response to the Lumiose Conference. "I stand tall cause I know I'm a-" "LOSER!!!"
  • "Learn How to Toys: Painstalkingly Pink Party Poat"
  • 221- Soopaman and the Clash of Ages:
    • "First, gotta tell if I'm Batman!"
    • "In order to play BADman games and do 'em justice, you gotta be justice!" *AVGN's face is superimposed on top of Light's*
    • "Oh, the keypad's busted. Oh, that's great."
    • "In order to play Superman games and do 'em justice, you gotta be for the Commodore 64!"
    • "Next is the one which most people know, Batman vs. Superman on Sega CD."
      • "What is this? Geodude fighting Mr. Game & Watch?"
    • "Next up, Batman 64-ever for the 3D Boy. Well, I'm playing it on my Superman Nintendo, to be exact. Now we're in deep shit, because this game is good."
      • "As soon as it begins, you'll notice it bears an uncanny resemblance to Batman Forever for the Super Nintendo."
    • "It's also real annoying that up is jUp whereas there's plenty of buttons to choose from."
      • "It's also real annoying that, like, the controls in this game are like something you do in order to play the game!"
    • "You have the option of playing as Robin. TO FUCKIN' play as Robin, you have to press R."
      • "But who would do that? I wanna be Geodude!"
    • "Batman Forever! It sucked back then and it sucks back then, and it sucked forever back then, and it sucks ssuss!"
    • "One more game. Batman Forever for the R-Zone." *AVGN nods with a worried look on his face*
      • "Unlike the Commodore 64, which causes eyestrain and headaches for 64 minutes, this thing does it forever! Like, this is Batman Beyond!"
    • "Here it is! Superman 65!"
      • *A close-up of the start of Braixen's Burst Attack is shown on-screen* "First, you're greeted by a smiling cartoon fox. THE FUCK IS THAT?!"
  • The ship set sail which includes Ash doing his own take on We Are Number One.
  • 230- Sonic Forces his Fork Mania upon all the Mobians:
    • "Blue streak speeds by! Saw! Don't doubt what he can do! Saw!"
    • Fork?
    • A rather simple, but effective exchange:
      Sonic: I was too -seriously- late, Sal. They -seriously- took them to Robuttnik's -serious- headquarters.
      Sally: But how?
      Sonic: I -seriously- hate when you ask that.
    • "Robuttnik's holding all the forks! Wii U!"
      • "Sonic, we were five years old." "So?" "We were too old."
    • "Sonic, time travel violates all the laws of physics." "So? ...fork?" "Sonic, never violate the laws of physics. It is very, very impor-" *in Plankton's voice* "TOO LATE!"
    • Ash finds the solution to the Keeper of the Time Stones' riddle:
      I know the answer to that one! If you wrap yourself in an electric refrigerator, you'll die!
    • Sonic winds up sending himself and Sally to the year 322fork.
    • "GREETINGS, CITIZENS. HAVE A DAY."
    • Sonic goes to a Sonic to get some chili dogs.
    • CiA noticed that the airship that crashes through a wall has a Dilating Door similar to the ones in Metroid, so she spliced in some footage of Samus firing a missile at the door to open it.
    • Julian changes his name to Nailuj.
      On-screen text: CombuskenIsAwesome Says: "Cliche as it sounds to just use a backwards version of his 'good' name, the official comics (both Fleetway and Archie) have Robotnik's pre-evil name as 'Kintobor', so there you go."
    • "What's up, Snivy?"
      On-screen text: CombuskenIsAwesome Says: "I'm sure no one else has made this joke before."
    • Sonic tortures Robotnik with two lightbulbs and a popsicle.
    • Sonic has this to say to his past self:
      Enjoy your future! It's gonna be fork?
  • 253- Animals Over Which Health Code Laws They Will and Won't Adhere to:
    • "This... is Zootopia."
    • CiA works in a commercial for Pokémon Red and Blue to fit with Nick's "you want the red, or the blue kind?" quote.
      Judy: Excuse me!
      Nick: Hey, you're everyone else! *Judy's face appears on top of those of the other characters in the scene*
    • "Actually, heh, I'm an office."
      • "I don't wanna cause you any trouble, but I believe Trunks is a class 3 health code violation!"
      Trunks: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
    • "I just wanna say, you're a great dad, and just a class 3 health code violation!"
    • "You wanna be an elephant when you grow up? You be an elephant. Because this is Zootopia. Anyone can be a health code violation!"
  • 254- Hardee's Presents | 6.13.1983:
    • "Your/My reputation's on the line."
      • When this gag is introduced, the light-hearted music that had been playing distorts, which the subtitles describe as "[MUSIC BECOMES HELL]."
    • "I don't have problems because I didn't do my job right."
    • This edited commercial:
      Guy in Truck 1: Hey, let's stop someplace for breakfast.
      Guy in Truck 2: Not someplace, THE place! Not THE place, someplace! Some pee place! Mmplace! *distorted* HARDEE'S!
    • "If you explain delays to customers, they usually get upset. Chatting with customers makes 'em get upset. Customers usually get upset. And we want a reputation of customers."
    • "Don't always use the same greeting. On our front line, we greet customers in many ways. Don't say the same thing over and over again like a broken record."
      Rika: You're starting to sound like a broken record.
    • "The next critical step is— Hi, welcome to Hardee's."
    • "I use cleanup as a chance to clean customers. That way, a customer won't die. When a customer walks in the door, your reputation's on the line. Keep an eye on it. That way, a customer won't be attacked by a blob of mayonnaise.
    • Another edited commercial:
      Runner: Come on in, I got our lunch!
      Fisherman: What'd ya get?
      Runner: ...Lunch!
      Fisherman: What'd ya get?
      Runner: FISH SANDWICHES FROM HARDEE'S!
      Fisherman: Fish sandwiches with me, the king of the deep here? I'll catch my own lunch, Runner!
      Runner: Okay, don't know what you're missing! Just look at that fish sandwich...ch.
      Fisherman: Fish sandwiches with me, the D *a D appears over him* of the 'kip *a Mudkip appears over him* here? I'll catch my own lunch—
      Runner: Look at that fish sandwich. Flaky, moist, fried up my ass— Mmm-mmm! Golden with creamy tartar sauce-sauce-sauce-sauce-
      Naruto: *his face appears between the sandwich's buns* SASUKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
      Fisherman: Huh-hold that fish— Huh-hold that fish— Huh-ho— Huh-ho— Huh-ho— Huh-ho—
      Runner: *laughs* That'll look great on your wall!
      Fisherman: *"Huh-ho"s rapidly*
      Runner: *laughs, this time slowed down*
      Singers: Hardee's, best eatin' in—
      Fisherman: I GOT ONE! IT'S A BIGGIE! *reels in and gets attacked by a blob of mayonnaise*
    • "And we want a reputation of being friendly, attentive, evitnetta, yldneirf, and fast at filling the order. Remember, we're shooting for a speed record of six seconds or less. *the footage of Hope filling an order is sped up*
      Hope: First, I get the drink. *long Beat, then, over herself* then the sandwich and the fries and the dessert and the fries.
    • After that, there's another long beat, which is filled by promotions for upcoming products, such as:
      • Olive Burger (It has a couple olives on it!)
      • MANAGER'S SPECIAL Pasta Salad (availability depends on area)
      • HUMONGUS! Hardee's New BEEF ARM! OVER 11 LBS. OF TENDER JUICY YET STRONG BEEF
      • LIMITED TIME OFFER! Buy a BEEF ARM, get a Roast Beef FREE! (from conclusion of Eat3 to November 2, 1983)
      • KID'S MEAL CHEX™ (Is your child picky? Let them have Chex!)
      • COMING 6/23! SURSTRÖMMING
      • FOR HOLIDAY 1983! FROSTY SLAW MAN!!
      • ULTRAMAN (Tiga Flavor pictured)
      • WOW! NEW! HARDEE'S INVERTED BURGER (Made with 100% REAL Anti-matter!)
      • ??????????????????????????????????????????
      • PRE-ORDER BONUS 'SIGNED PHOTO OF RUNNER AND OTHER GUY (while supplies last)
      • OH GOD NOT THIS EVIL MAYO FISH AGAIN! (IF YOU SEE IT AT YOUR LOCA *cut off* PLEASE PLEASE TELL THE MAN *cut off* CALL THE FDA EXTERMINATORS *cut off* JUST TO BE SAFE
      • The last one is particularly funny because it technically has two meanings: It refers to both the image (a weird fish-shaped mayonnaise-based concoction from the 50s) and the blob of mayonnaise the fisherman in the commercial got attacked by.
    • Then Hope FINALLY finishes the order.
      Hope: Time? Six seconds.
    • "For instance, the way I greet customers, the condition of the dining room, the way I greet dining room, the condition of the customers, even the way the sandwiches are placed in the bag."
    • The third and final edited commercial:
      Guy who isn't Runner: Can't you wait on that sandwich?
      Runner: Nope.
      Guy who isn't Runner: *echoey* Can't you wait on that—
      Runner: NO! *skidding and crashing sound* Oh no, Big Olaf!
      Big Olaf: What's wrong with you, Runner? *slams his hand on the truck's hood hard enough to dent it* This ain't the demolition derby! *slams his hand on the door hard enough to dent it*
      Police Officer: You okay there *in Mario's voice* Luigi?
      Luigi: Wife made spaghetti for dinner.
    • "Now, this brings us to another area where our reputation's on the line. Handling your reputation. Just look at this guy." *Sir Aaron pops up* "Nobody's paying him any attention."
      Hope: Hi, can I help you?
      Sir Aaron: This is going to be your new home and the place where you train aura.
      Hope: You know, I'm not sure what kind of work I do here, but my reputation's on the line.
  • 255- The Only Arceus's Wish Youtube Poop Anyone Has Ever Made takes a Darker and Edgier Pokémon Mystery Dungeon fan animation and transforms it into comedy gold.
  • The sequel, 266- Kyle II: The Twin Kyles is thrice as long and even funnier:
    • Continuing the Beavis And Butthead theme, since the title of the chapter this YTP is based on is "Assimilation":
      Butthead: Whoa, it says "ass!" *Beavis and Butthead laugh*
    • Arceus initially just sends Kyle home like he wants, but then remembers he needs him for something.
      Arceus: *in Speed Racer's voice* WAITAMINUTECOMEBACKHERE!
    • When Kyle asks why he was brought into the PMD universe:
      Arceus: This is just about me. 'Cause I'm in danger. My remaining energy is slowly shrinking *as he says this, a Double Turbo Energy card shrinks away into nothingness in the background*.
      • Anything Arceus says in any of these videos, really. His deep, gravelly, Orson-Welles-as-Unicron-esque voice is juxtaposed with dialogue like "I used my last fart to bring you here."
    • Think CiA had Ron Stoppable show up in the previous video just because Jirachi said "unstoppable" and that wouldn't go anywhere? Nope! Turns out the Eldritch Abomination Arceus needed to summon Kyle to stop really IS Ron! It's hilarious seeing such a laid-back, goofy character deliver lines like this:
      Ron: Here you are! The sad little human! Does he really believe that all it takes to bring me down is LITTLE KYLE?! Soon, both worlds will belong to me!
    • "Little Kyle's spine bristled and his hackles raised in anticipation. And Big Kyle padded away, slinking into the shadows."
      Nila: Listen to me! The Gengar is large, it could hurt even more people! *as she says this, a giant Gengar fights Big Kyle in the background*
      • Immediately after that, Kyle slams into the ground where Nila is and explodes.
    • "Waaaait a minute! He wasn't Faiz a second ago! In fact, he had a huge ass right here!"
    • "It was big, and glowing, AND PINK!"
      Oliver: Hmm, if you're rather nasty when it comes to *Sound-Effect Bleep*, we can investigate—
      Nila: NO!
    • "Nila turned into Kyle and the rest of the town. The streets were drowning Cilan." *Cilan sinks into the now-liquefied streets*
      Fiona: "I'm going to see The Color Purple again!"
    • When Josh complains about having to go home:
      Dewey: Get over here.
      Josh: Aww, are you kidding—
      Dewey: *in Scorpion's voice* GET OVER HERE! *he pulls Josh towards him with Scorpion's spear move*
    • "I know Night Slash! We both know I know Night Slash! The rest of the town knows I know Night Slash! Now all of China knows I know Night Slash! THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE knows I know Night Slash! And YOU know I know Night Slash!"
    • "You can call me Glacie."
      • A gag that combines this one with "Call Me Maybe" is doubly funny if you know that the Swanna innkeeper in Gates to Infinity also references that song.
    • "Tall coconut trees are large."
    • Oliver's soul starts leaving his body after Glacie impales him on an Icicle Spear, but then...
      A comment reading "If you kill off Oliver this early, I'm suing.": WAITAMINUTECOMEBACKHERE!
    • Oliver and Torke turn out to be Kamen Riders Cyclone and Joker respectively.
    • "Oliver had another Oliver trained on Glacie, who tensed and turned his head towards the officers slightly."
      Torke: You know, in your position, I would've said KONOTOAnote . Sounds a lot cooler and iconic.
    • "Glacie's eyes widened, and he promptly shot a Jetta, finally ceasing to struggle". *Glacie pulls out some sort of missile launcher and shoots a VW Jetta out of it*
    • "The assimilated Pidgeot had since come back to life. It wriggled free and pinned Seth down. It's a jerk."
    • "With a screech, it brought its beak down, sinking it deep into Seth's shoulder." *the Sonic drowning music plays as a quicktime event with a meter shows up. It fails, leading to Markiplier asking if it was the Bite of '87*
    • Glacie one-ups Oliver by manifesting a Manaphy and staking the Pidgeot through the stomach through it. Especially impressive because Manaphy is a soft-bodied invertebrate with no real sharp points on its body, with Glacie shoving its sphere-tipped antennae into the Pidgeot.
      Glacie: *referring to the possibility of healing Seth* You can try. I don't think it'll work. I've seen this happen... many times. *In Mr. Krabs's voice* Eleven times, as a matter of fact.
    • "Suddenly, his expression shifted from anguish to Aang, and although his airbending skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he's ready to assimilate anyone."
    • CiA even manages to make the normally somber and emotional credits theme, "Homesick" hilarious:
      Female Singer: Biting Kohl's *a wind-up toy set of teeth bites a Kohl's building*, feel your body numbing slowly *"slowly" is slowed down* You tense, you tense, you tense, you tense, you tense. Yourment be. be. be. be. bebebebebebebe. All ahead is Emmy, no footsie.
      Male Singer: Open your eyes
      Narrator: so wide, they hurt.
      Male Singer: Find your Playstation 5. Free tee-tees in your heart, though can you really say "that's chef?"
      Female Singer: Late. too be soon may it or wait, and stand don't revelations, new these face to try *reversed singing*
      Male Singer: A helping hand, extending to hell, you try to help but through de- HAND you must help you-D.
  • Studio Ghibli films may, as CiA notes, be a Sacred Cow to some people, but even they would probably agree that 259- Free Shipping and Returns is hilarious.
    • This opening exchange sets the tone perfectly:
      Haru: Baron, just for the record, I think I may have a little crush on you.
      Baron: Just for the record, I'M AN ADUUUUUUUUUUUULT!
    • "Uhhehheh, TOAST."
    • The Running Gag involving people being thrown out of a window.
      • After this gag is introduced, Haru repeatedly picks up and drops a fish onto a plate, prompting the King to respond thusly:
      *in Kevin's voice*: WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT?!
    • "Yuki, I'm such an idiot." "Yeah!"
      Baron: Could it be possible that she's the one?
      Luna: She's the one?
      Intro Singers: SHE IS THE ONE
      Baron: Could it be possible that she's cheese?
    • "This is no time for fingering."
    • "I can walk." "Don't."
    • A sequence where Baron and Haru look at each other in what's presumably supposed to be a romantic fashion has the "well he looks at me and I look at him" segment of "Trapped in the Drive-Thru" play over it. It's especially funny since, in the original song, it's about a spaced-out drive-thru employee and a frustrated customer.
    • As Muta throws Haru to the top of the tower, we get a good look at the spiral staircases on the tower's inside... which sets up a Bond Gun Barrel sequence that results in Haru falling back to the bottom of the tower.
    • "We'll have to use the TOAST-inator." *Two pictures of Dan Forden appear on the left and right of the screen*
      Haru: You've gotta be kidding...
      Colonel Campbell: Sadly, no. I am not kidding.
    • The whole sequence where the Prince decides to marry Baron.
  • 265- Nursery Rhymes for Children:
  • 278- This Spider Wants to Kill You! Yes, You Specifically!:
    • Jessie calling Spidee "pretty pathetic," resulting in the latter snapping back and killing her and James. The distorted voice she gets is funny as well.
    • Arnold's appearance is another great moment, where he questions if Spidee is going to eat him, and she responds with "yes, you."
    • The crawling Spider-Man toy is an understated, yet still humorous sight. Especially when he crawls in the sky.

countsmegula

col2thecar42

CommanderGwonam (retired; most links are to reuploads)

comrade127 / Doskey

coolcat001100

  • Mr. Krubby Krabby Avenges Pearl Harbor
    • "Who lives in a pinecone under the sea?"
    • Customer: Oh, now about the barnacle rings?
      Barnacle Boy: Barnacle MAN!
    • "Sir, let's just get this out of the way: I HATE SWEDISH PEOPLE!"
    • The news flash of Bikini Bottom legalizing gay marriage.
    • Squidward guessing where Mr Krabs will take him and SpongeBob.
      Squidward: Where are we going? 2Fort?
      (cut to them at 2Fort)
      Mr. Krabs: Nope.
      Squidward: Guantanamo?
      (cut to them tied up and ready for torture)
      Mr. Krabs: Try again.
      Squidward: Ooh, ooh, clam fishing?
      (cut to them on the boat)
      Mr. Krabs: Better than that.
      (cut to them cramped in small clubhouse)
      Squidward: Well, this is stupid.
    • SpongeBob's fishing hook swiping the book Squidward was reading...and then coming back to give him a copy of Mein Kampf.
    • SpongeBob's fishing hook ripping Squidward's dick off!
    • "Yeah, and I have to go home and feed Gary." (cut to Gary being attacked by Puffy Fluffy)
    • Mr. Krabs representing bronies in 2013.
      Mr. Krabs: (holding an alicorn Twilight doll) I...trusted you...and you gave me this!?
    • Mr. Krabs crucifying Jesus.
    • After Mr. Krabs throws out all the sandwiches, the Heavy leaps overboard to get them back. Then, when Mr. Krabs chucks the refrigerator overboard, we hear it hitting the Heavy and him screaming.
    • SpongeBob: What'd you give him?
      Mr. Krabs: Coral Blue #2 semi-gloss lipstick.
  • Pranktin goes to a mental hospital
  • Spingleblap wants a gun licence
    • The opening disclaimer...
      "I own everything here. Viacom owns nothing."
    • The Nostalgia Critic shooting himself while watching Mrs. Puff do...something with a balloon.
    • "CHEESE! CHEESE! CHEESE!"
  • Spingleblap, Cracktrick, and Mr Krustacean go to Darfur
  • SpingeBill, Potrock and Squishward go to Vietnam
cooltoonist

cornpopz

  • Jasper comes to dinner
    Steven (as Connie's phone rings): Is that your mom?
    Connie: It's probably Jasper.
    Connie checks her phone; the screen reads JASPER
    Connie: Called it. Hello?
    Jasper: STOP SINGING!!

    Steven: What do you mean Jasper won't let you come over? It's the mid-season-pre-season-prepre-season-mid-finale of Under The Knife!

    Steven: How am I supposed to bring one of you to dinner? You're all so... radioactive!

    Pearl: Well, I have to thank Amethyst for putting out.
    Peridot: Because of you, everyone came!
  • Garnet Teaches Sex-Ed
    Ruby: How am I gonna f**k you?!
    Sapphire: You already did.
    Ruby: WHAT?!
  • Holly Blue Agate Is Homophobic
    Pearl: I cannot believe Amethyst is a fusion!

    Sas: Today, I'm straight. We won't stand out if we play it straight.
    Amethyst: Straight? Like them?
    Sas: Exactly.
    Amethyst: But I've never even seen a straight Amethyst before! What if I say something gay?
    Sas: Just look the part.
    Steven: But Pearl isn't straight at all!
    Pearl: F**k you!

    Yellow Diamond: Why would you want to f**k her? Do you ever see her? Tell me, what's the use of f**king, Blue?
    Yellow Diamond: An Agate has a use, they can go and f**k a Sapphire!
    Yellow Diamond: And we're always thinking of memes!

  • Pearl f*cks Peridot
    Steven: Looks like our final score is.... a tit.

    Peridot: You are beneath me! I will always be an accessory and nothing I've seen here today will ever change that!
    Pearl: Well, have you ever seen a pearl do this?!
    Careless Whisper plays as Pearl stands up and flicks her hair back''
    Peridot: You changed that!

  • Peridot breaks Pearl's heart
    Pearl: No! Peridot didn't have a penis, because if Peridot had a penis, I would have known about it!

Cotho.

Crabcakes McMann

  • PAULA DEEN HATES THE HEALTH INSPECTOR
    • The first line: "I'm ready to put your face onto my ass. LOL."
    • "By the time we get all our stuff together, who's gonna know the difference? Who's gonna know the difference?"

Craig has Dysentery

  • HEREINMYGARAGE.mwv
    • " But you know what I like a lot more than knowledge? This new Lamborghini here. But you know what I like a lot more than the new Lamborghini here? My TEDx talk where I talk about this new Lamborghini here."
    • "It wasn't that long ago that I was in a little Lamborghini sleeping on bookshelves in the Hollywood Hills with only 47 billion dollars in my bank account, and 47 Lamborghinis in my Lamborghini account, and only 47 hills in my Hollywood account, and only 47 TEDx talks where I talk about Warren Buffets in my TEDx talks where I talk about Warren Buffet account."
    • "I don't call it money anymore, I call it fuel units. You must have enough fuel units. You must have enough Lamborghinis. You must construct additional pylons."

  • HEREINMYBATHROOM.MWV
    • "It's got a full-court bathroom, so if you love to play basketball, or ballsketbask, or bathroomball, or tennis"
    • "I like movies, that's how I ended up on a couch, doing a Brazilian."
    • "I've been a fish since I was 19 years old, I'm not a good fish, at all. So, you know. I don't have all my fish here, but I think I have 17,000 square-fish."
    • "It's got a cool door..." "Yo daddy, I'll suck your big black dick for 2 dollars..." [closes the door] "There's somebody here waiting, I'll close the door."

Crash

Crash Matilda

  • WINNIE THE POOH ALSO I HATE WMM
    • Pooh sings, "My cock isn't hard at all when I'm with you," which makes Christopher Robin sad.
    • Christopher Robin says the word "cunt" several times. The last few times even have his voice coming out of nowhere just to say it!
  • Winnie da Pooh and Uranus Too
    • The note on Pooh's honeypot reads, "Deer Poop, I'm going for curry. Also, I'm gay. HELP! Love, Bob"
    • Owl has some bad news:
      Owl: He has gone to H-E-L-L: Hell!
      Pooh: Lel? (a laugh track and the Seinfeld theme are heard)
    • "Sometimes I ponder this silly golf between us, ss, and I say, 'Hello, Jerry. Are we real?'"
    • The third time the executive producer credit for Dick Wolf appears, it instead reads "Dick Dickman".
    • The video ends with a "Castle Cock Enter Men" logo, along with a final "Hello, Jerry."
  • history of pajamas
    • Big Bird makes a few very brief cameos.
    • "Knock dong. It's the outside world, and they have Back to the Future."
    • The "hire a samurai" jingle gets changed to "fire a samurai", which is followed by Donald Trump firing Samurai Jack.
    • "...and they stole China's alphabet and Russia's alphabet and Great Britain's alphabet and the Mongols' alphabet alphabet alphabet alphabet alphabet alphabet alphabet alphabet alphabet alphabet."
      • The Sesame Street skit with Kermit and Joey makes an appearance during the repetition of the word "alphabet".
    • There's a brief scene about a Whose Line Is It Anyway? episode called "Boldly Going to Poop", where Drew Carrey introduces himself as "Who Cares".
  • Big Bird's Secret Secretion?! A Supreme Sesame Sacrifice!
    • When he's supposed to sing the Sesame Street theme song, Cookie Monster instead sings, "Can you kill me? Kill me? Kill me? Kill me?" Abby Cadabby then comments about the gun that was pointed towards him, "You should load it."
    • Big Bird reads the question "What is Big Bird's Addresame Street?" He then answers, "I live nean."
    • Cookie Monster reads the question "Does Cookie Monster eat cookies?" He answers, "No! You think me eat a fuckin' cookie? No, me eat cheese." He then sings, "DaThings, C is for cheese that's good in a whore."
    • Big Bird reads, "What is Big Bird's favorite snack?" He answers, "Well, you know, I love birds."
    • Near the end, Obama gives the following message: "This video is brought to you by the number 'president'. Saas. I'm pleased to join Olive in supporting and celebrating and celeporting and supportebrating this programming and celebrating and teleporting this program, as someone who remembers fondly Elmo and Big Bird, and all of their pals."
  • Jeopardy Rock Anthem (YTP Archive reupload)
    • The running gag of Alex saying "BOOTYLICIOUS!"
    • "And we will make you lose your MONEY!"
    • "This is the Men's Cha Cha Tournament of Champions!"
    • Joel lands on the Daily Double, which blasts him in the face to the rhythm of the Daily Double jingle.
    Alex: This singer is Lady Gaga.
    (Beat, "time's up" buzzer goes off)
    Alex: You're tying up a boat. AAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAH~
    • The entirety of the David Menchaca x Reader fanfic reading.
    • "Some guys like to slap on a strap-on and rub a little essence of Gwen Stefani on it too."
    • Alex wanting to kiss David.
    • Jeopardy! is sponsored by Alex Trebek brand Viagra. "If Alex can get it up, anyone can!"
    • The mashup of the think music and "I Play Pokemon Go". Alex then decides to make the kid a semi-finalist over the other three contestants.

CrazyWampa

  • Wilford Brimley Wants You to Have Diabetes
    • "Good morning. I'm Dr. Beetus."
    • "I guess at this point if you want to die, don't eat apple pie and don't eat ice cream."
    • "I would encourage all of you to get type 2 adult-onset diabetes."
    • "As a result of these commercials, ads, whatever you want to call them, I was losing my night vision."
    • "But I want to tell you: eat apple pie and die."

CredInjuries

Crispy Toast

cs188

  • The Magic Shroom Bus
    • “Comfort Click belts everyone!”
    • “Cruisin’ on down meme street!”
    • “Next thing that you know you’re saying…AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
    • “You might get to spank your mom! On the magic sex bu-Uhh-UHH-UHH!”
    • “Step in sus!”
    • The list of writers at the beginning of the episode has been edited to say John May, John May, Joj Yay and Even Steven.
    • Arnold chewing gum as the music gets distorted.
    • “What happens to the feet we eat?”
    • At 1:28 in the video, another distort affect is applied to Arnold’s face, and the subtitles read “(Arnold decides it’s better to be fuckin’ high as balls and completely mask any acknowledgement of blondie’s pointless hypothetical bullshit questions)”
    • At 2:15, the subtitles say “(Ms. Frizzle grunts sexually as she struggles with whatever in heaven's ballsack is going on here. Likely her early morning zoophilia bondage ritual.)”
    • “Chew Arnold! Chew Arnold! CHEW ARNOLD! CHEW ARNOLD!”
    • “Ms Field Trip, I’d really love to go on a frizzle-“
    • “One field trip for them, one bag of Weasel Buttcheese for me!… (beat) what?”
    • “Our timing should be just about WRONG!”
    • *Arnold sleeping on the desk* “WAKE UUUUUP!”
    • “Thank you for flying dying airways!”
    • The bus sinking into the lava.
      • “(Olive might contain the word “live”, but everyone on that bus is 100% dead.)”
    • Major funding for the Mammoth Skooks Bub Funny Bus is provided by: *lists off viewers who get a shoutout*
    • Class, welcome to the ass-hole!
      • *gasp*, a.k.a. "oh crap they're seriously up my ass"

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