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Radio: True Capitalist

"I am not a racist, I am a melting pot of friendship, and I want you to amplify that all over the internets."

Meet John Conquest, AKA Ghost, King of the Mexicans, a racist, tiger shrimp-eating, flamboyant, morbidly obese, shapeshifting Canadian Jewish lizard who abuses his family, proclaims his love of My Little Pony, and takes advantage of the welfare system all the while having a torrid affair with Herman Cain and pining after Sarah Palin.

...well, if you listen to his fans, anyway.

Ghost is actually a Texan pundit who broadcasts True Capitalist Radio on blogtalkradio.com. He is an ardent capitalist (at least he calls himself one on every possible occasion; True Materialist Radio might be a more appropriate name for the program), and his show goes through the usual topics, starting with the markets, then on to coverage of recent political headlines. And like all good political talk shows, he also frequently takes calls from listeners.

Here in lies the problem (at least for him, anyway). Listeners have noticed that he has a short temper when it comes to certain topics (check that, he has a short temper towards a lot of topics), and as such, viewers have discovered that he is very easy to troll. Much to his dismay, this makes the show start off serious but then quickly go off course more and more towards the end of the show, where the Radio Graffiti segment (rapid-fire calls with no real topic) pretty much turns into a punching match between him and the people who persistently try to test his patience (often successfully). This has lead to a large rogues gallery of trolls and characters that call him up and interact with him in various entertaining ways.

Though, when he's not raging, Ghost is a relatively good pundit (if you, er, share his views); he knows where the money is, and he knows how his listeners can get in the action themselves (unless they're doing it with welfare checks, of course)

The show officially ended on May 24th, 2012. For a while the Capitalist Army, moved on to trolling Caiden Cowger, a 14 year old extreme right-wing Christian, but after a few weeks it became clear that Cowger was not nearly as easily angered as Ghost, nor as entertaining or quotable, and the trolling mostly dissipated.

All the noteworthy episodes are available on Youtube. If you're an actual capitalist looking to learn something from him, you might want to listen to some of the older ones. After his show ended, Ghost would still update his Twitter, but unfortunately, on July 14, 2012, he announced his final moments on the Internet, and shortly after, he deleted his Twitter. All other accounts on the Internet belonging to him were supposedly closed, and the official show archives were taken down (Youtube still contains the vast majority of them; no punitive damages as of yet).

As of July 24th, Ghost brought his Twitter back because "[he] had to come back briefly to say something about the Colorado shooting", but continued updating constantly again. It seems as though he's back to trolling the trolls. On September 26th, though, he tweeted something that suggests that he'll be back. ... Until Obama won the re-election and he threw away any possibility of coming back. But then on November 27th, he made a tweet indicating that TCR will return. On December 7th, he made another tweet indicating that TCR will return when a member of the GNAA (Gay Nigger Association of America - the NCF is part of this group) is arrested. On December 10th, the @ghostpolitics account was permanently suspended in response to a comment about the GNAA, followed shortly by his alternate account, @gh0stp0litics, being hacked by "The Flawless Crew". Several troll accounts were made in response. On January 31st, Ghost himself finally regained access to his alternate account, @gh0stp0litics, announcing that he will no longer do shows due to fear of being mocked by his fanbase. On August 23, however, he officially announced that he would return and start broadcasting again during fall.

However, in the weeks leading up to his supposed return date on October 31st, 2013, the gh0stp0litics twitter account began referring to itself in the third person, and demanded that fans pay him via Bitcoin for a return show. This led many to believe that the account had been hacked, or that it never was Ghost in the first place. Needless to say, the show didn't happen, and TCR remains defunct. As 2014 rolled in, rumors even began to spread of Ghost's death...

This radio show provides examples of:

  • Abhorrent Admirer: Amy Daly and Tri$ha are both in love with Ghost.
  • Actually Pretty Funny: Despite his feuds with The Ghetto Capitalist, even Ghost admitted that Ghetto Capitalist making his baby cry like T-Pain was actually funny.
    • On the February 21st 2012 episode, Caller 204 calls in an Anti-Semitic rant and Ghost calls him out for it. Couple of calls later, Jimmy Kudos plays a "I AM NOT A JEW" remix. Ghost got a laugh out of it.
    • His reaction to the Twitter name MomsAtTGIF was "I don't know whether to get mad or laugh at that one." He seemed to have settled for the latter.
  • Aggressive Categorism: His specialty.
  • Angrish: Sometimes Ghost rages so hard he can't form a simple word. Especially in his earlier, pre-brony broadcasts.
    • The Engineer speaks this as his first language.
  • A Day in the Limelight: On 12/6/11, the Engineer hosted the end of the show, and again on 1/09/12. Ghost was not happy.
  • All There in the Manual: Most people who only listened to show and didn't follow the events on twitter wouldn't understand Ghost's constantly shifting opinion of Celtic Brony- or who Senator Pooptickler was (outside of being a one-time caller who recited the lyrics to "Fuck tha Police").
  • Ambiguously Jewish: Calling Ghost a Jew, whether it be in a call or a splice, reacts to him saying, "I'M NOT A JEW!" This was especially common in September 2011, when he announced he hated Christmas.
  • And Your Little Dog Too: Ghost threatens trolls who really piss him off with tracking them, go to their houses, beat their asses, bang their wife, beat their dog and drown their goldfish.
  • Armoured Closet Gay: A theory about Ghost. He accuses nearly every male that calls into the broadcast of being "fruity" or "taking it up the pooper," leading to speculation that he's projecting.
  • Ascended Meme: Ghost is now actually fond of NavyHuskie's "Taco Tuesday" remix, mainly because it declares him the "king of Mexicans", and its about his favorite day (ignoring the parts where he calls himself a hambone and the "king of racist", of course)
  • Asshole Victim: Ghost himself to varying degrees. Just when you start to feel bad for him or agree with him, he'll say something awful about women or gay people or minorities or poor people or... any group he isn't a part of, really.
  • Artifact Title: Apparently, the show used to be called "True Conservative Radio", boy things have changed.
    • According to Ghost, he changed the title because of Sarah Palin.
    • The current title qualifies as well- the show is more well-known and beloved for the antics of the trolls and Ghost's reactions than for its capitalistic aspects.
  • Author Avatar: The skeleton face he uses as his logo is used as one.
    • When trolls found the exact same skeleton face he had as his logo on a website for an online radio station in Texas, Third Coast Radio, conspiracy theories began to develop that Ghost may be associated with them somehow, or he simply stole it. When finally confronted with topic, Ghost confessed that it came from a Google Image Search for "texas skull and crossbones", as he was trying to find a new Paltalk avatar (and then, it later stuck). The same day, he also announced that he would be taking submissions for a new logo. As of December 8, 2011, he changed his avatar to a different variant of the old one.
      • Speaking of Third Coast Radio, the name "John Conquest" had originated from their website's DJ.
  • Autotune: Used on Ghost's voice in "Melting Pot of Alcohol," and on the voices of Ghost, the Engineer, and the Ban All Bronies Cult in "Ghost is T-Pain."
  • Awesome McCoolname: DJ Thuggin-Ass, Cosmo Brockington, John Conquest.
    • Fail O'Suckyname: Many twitter names are this deliberately, so that Ghost will say disgusting things when he's giving shoutouts, often causing him to rage. Prince of Excrement, the Poopticklers, Sandusky Shower Attendant, Isle of Sandusky, Isle of Russia, Herman Caindusky, Gaydolf Shitler, etc.
    • Some are bad puns in the vein of Bart's prank calls to Moe. "Mug Ranny's a Tranny"note caused him to rage quit.
    • The Whoremaster is a healthy dose of both Awesome McCoolname and Fail O'Suckyname.
  • Berserk Button: The big four: claiming he's something he (thinks he) is not (i.e. racist, hambone, Jewish, etc.), talking about My Little Pony, making audio splices/remixes of him, or insulting his family (particularly his son, granddaughter or granny). Of course, there's probably way more.
    • Howard Stern. Nuff said. And don't you dare mention Alex Jones.
    • He has also avidly criticized the welfare system, as he believes that people on welfare often contribute nothing to society, and simply live what they can off taxpayers' money. He thinks that this is what is turning the country into "Junkyard America"
    • When it comes to music, Eminem and the Dave Matthews Band hit his button the hardest.
    • Recently, he's gotten ultra-angry at people playing splices of him as calls to other shows.
    • Of course, since he's from Austin, you do not insult the Longhorns. Or praise the Oklahoma Sooners.
    • After a user by the name of Adolf Ghostler posted what sounds like Ghost acting as if he were Hitler, many trolls started referring to him as Ghostler. Needless to say, Ghost now hates being called Ghostler.
    • One troll was even foolish enough to question Radio Graffiti and the way he runs it. Let's just say Ghost did not take it well.
    • Taken Up to Eleven with a recent broadcast: people being born in the Spring enrages him.
    • Playing advertisements for other stuff, enraging Ghost and his capitalistic lifestyle.
      • Though he was mostly able to laugh off Lots and Lots of Trains and the J.G. Wentworth opera.
      • Playing fake advertisements that poke fun at his lifestyle really pushes the Berserk Button to Overdrive. In particular, the "Karasz Burgers" one really did him in.
    • Mocking KaraszKun can send him into impressive rages.
  • Big Damn Heroes: Senator Pooptickler and a group of assorted bronies and capitalists came to Ghost's rescue on January 31st, 2012, trolling Celticbrony and convincing the Prognosticator of Prognosticators not to quit the show.
  • Bittersweet Ending: Bitter in that the show had a lot of life left in it and a tiger shrimp/Karaszkun story arc of sorts looked like it was about to get off the ground before being abruptly cut off; sweet in that everybody involved gets a pretty happy ending.
  • Black Comedy: Some of the Twitter names can also fall into this trope.
  • Black Comedy Rape: "The next subject I'd like to talk about is... rape."
  • Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: A caller starts out talking about TSA airport security, then abruptly goes into a very graphic description of him getting fisted by TSA agents while he comes buckets as he thinks of Ghost.
  • Breather Episode: The December 24th show can be considered this.
  • Brick Joke: Throughout October, trolls called in wishing Ghost a merry Christmas, causing him to rage that it wasn't even Halloween yet. And then, months later, in the Christmas show...
    Caller: Happy Halloween, Ghost!
  • Butt Monkey: Ghost is the butt monkey of his own show!
  • Camp Gay: Caller 111/The Internet Buttstalker, who calls in a ridiculously effeminate voice while making very suggestive requests.
  • Canadia, Eh?: Ghost seems to have a thing against Canada for some reason...
    "Y'know, there's something very Canadian about you calling me from the tub."
  • Catchphrase: There are just way too many things he says on a regular basis:
    "Now, I think it's time for everybody's favorite part of the broadcast, AND I'M TALKIN' ABOUT RADIO GRAFFITI!"
    "(Area code/Skype name), Radio Graffiti."
    And when he's particularly pissed: "Radio god damn/frickin Graffiti"
    "I'm a melting pot of friendship!!"
    "You know it and I know it."
    "Spread it around LIKE WAHLDFAUR!"
    "Use and abuse those [sharing] buttons!"
    "Excuse my French."
    "...I think it's about time to play everyone's favorite game, it's Guess the Minority!"
    "You're a Mexican."
    "I freakin' love this game, man!"
    "Greasy jelly-ass Hambooooooooooone!"
    "I'M NOT A FREAKIN' HAMBONE!"
    "And that, my friends, is the markets, for your ass!"
    "Come on and RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIISEEEE UP, Russia! Take yer shirt off!"
    "x ON THE NEXT FREAKIN' GERALDO!"
    • Reactions
    "...argh Jesus Christ..."
    "... GET 'EM OFF!"
    "... shove it up your ass!"
    "You sorry sacks of crap!"
    "You stupid milky-licker."
    "You sad/sick/stupid son of a bitch."
    "Shut up, ya stupid moron!"
    "I never said that!"
    "You're takin' too long."
    "...Helen Keller deaf-mutes."
    "...you're playin' with your peter-popper." (or pecker-shaft)
    "...Aww, he hung up!"
    "I AM NOT A JEW!"
    "Take about ten steps away from my freaking butt-crack!"
    "Goddamn INTERNET BUTTSTALKERS!"
    "BESMIRCH!"
    "My heart's beatin' like a rabbit!"
    • Rage mode
    "Look at this, THEY'RE LAUGHING! THEY'RE LAUGHING!"
    "I am taking the necessary steps to get punitive damages, OUTTA YOUR ASS!!!"
    "I'M SHOOTIN' GODDAMN PEARLS AT YOU IDIOTS!"
    "Gimme the mic. GIMME THE MIC!!"
    "Get this mike outta my face. GET OUTTA MY FACE!"
    "I WISH THIS WAS YOUR FACE!" *smash smash smash*
    "THEY'RE FRUITIN' UP!!"
    "YOU'RE TURNIN' IT INTO FRUITBOWL WEDNESDAY!!"
    "Their assholes are puckerin'!"
    "WHERE'RE THE PARENTS?! WHERE'RE THE PARENTS?!"
    "SCUMBAGS!"
    "I'M GAGGIN' OVER HERE! I'M GAGGIN'!"
    "I'm jaded man. I mean, I'M DEPRESSED!"
    "I'M A CAPITALIST! AND I DESERVE RESPECT ACCORDING TO THAT TITLE!"
    "I don't have to be here, you know; I COULD BE ON 6TH STREET!!"
    "THAT'S IT! STICK A FORK IN ME, I'M DONE!"
    "GET ME OUTTA HERE, ENGINEER!"
    • And the Trolls
    213/Ghetto Capitalist has "Ghost baby, what's going on?"
    "Geez, what do YOU want?!"
    "STOP CHOKING THAT DAMN KID!"
    "We've got our EBT cards, baby!"
    347 has "SUCK MY DIIIIICK!"
    Tub Guy has "Oh my!"
    "It will be totally legit!"
    661 has "Surgeradio.org"
    "Yeah, DDoS that, alright."
    "Who is this?!"
    "It's me, Asho." (*groan*)
    Note Party/Tri$ha has "Hey Ghost, it's meeee!"
    Shut Up Mom has, well, "SHUT UP, MOM!"
    KaraszKun has "Do you want me to stick around for a while?"
  • The Chessmaster: CelticBrony claimed to be this after his doxxing, but few actually believed him until months later, when Ghost's twitter account was hacked and it turned out that he wasn't lying about having a master plan. Apparently MrTacoz and Ibanezzo were in on it the whole time, and the NCF were involved somehow.
  • Chew Toy: Ghost just keeps doggedly ploughing calls as troll after troll drive him to rage and angrish, and that's why he's popular.
  • Christmas Episode: September 19, 2011 almost seemed like one. Just yesterday he had revealed that he thought it was too early for Christmas Songs. Of course, it backfired, in the usual ways.
    • December 24, 2011: Ghost did a legitimate Christmas Eve special.
  • Circle of Shame: The chatroom serves as this in Ghost's worst moments:
    "Look at 'em, they're laughing for Christ's sake!"
  • Clip Show: December 31, 2011 brought the "Ghosties", a listener-voted awards show that honored the trolls. Among other things, "Melting Pot of Alcohol" got Best Remix, "Money, Success, Fame, Bronies" for best splice, Surgeradio.org guy for best fail troll, CelticBrony for best brony, and Ghetto Capitalist for best troll.
  • Comically Missing the Point: If you're going to use the "I have black friends" clichι to prove you're not a racist, don't go on to claim you also have friends who are "wop", "camel jockey" and "kraut".
    • He also managed to pull this on some Stealth Pun names.
  • Conspiracy Theorist: During the 5/15/2012 broadcast, he claims that the Moon landings were faked.
  • Corpsing: On June 21st, Ghost can be heard trying to stifle a laugh at a Skype troll's name.
    • On May 4th 2012, Tub Guy can be heard breaking when telling Ghost he convinced Hasbro to make a Pony based on Ghost.
  • Crack Pairing (In-Universe): There's a chatroom user called "Asho Banged Tub-Guy."
  • Cowboy Be Bop At His Computer: Ghost from time to time gets his facts wrong on multiple subjects.
    • He thinks Touhou is an "ani-mee" foot fetish.
  • Curse Cut Short: Sound effect variant. Sometimes when Ghost gets really angry, his swears are cut short by him throwing cans everywhere.
  • A Date with Rosie Palms: Asho called up Ghost while fapping once, and Ghost usually assumes that any caller who takes too long is "playing with [their] peter-popper/pecker shaft."
  • Day of the Week Name: Taco Tuesday, Baller Friday.
    • However, he does not want the show to turn into Carpet Munching Monday, Fruitbowl Wednesday, or Bathhouse Thursday.
  • Deconstruction Fic: Predictably, in response to all the pony-hate he propagates "THROUGHOUT THE WORLD!", someone got the bright idea to do a complete send-up of Ghost's show, but discussing My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic instead; complete with calling people "carrotbowls" and hating on capitalists. The result? True Equestrian Radio.
  • Department of Redundancy Department: "Slanderous lies".
    • "All you remixing jerks are jerks".
    • Ghost used the term "old vieja" one day, "vieja" is actually Spanish for "old woman"
    • "Don't be a deaf-mute with nothing to say."
    • "The idiots from the top are idiots."
    • The 'Melting Pot of Racist' splice.
    I am a racist, I am a melting pot of racist, and I have a whole bunch of slaves that happen to be black!
    • "You stupid dumb idiots..."
    • "I'm giving them a free show for free!"
  • Despair Event Horizon: The cancellation of the show at the end of February was this for many trolls.
    • Hope Spot: Ghost came back for two Taco Tuesdays in the middle of March, leading listeners to believe he was genuinely back- but it would be toward the end of April that he would actually resume regular shows.
    • And then those regular shows would be abruptly cut off by the actual cancellation of the show on May 24th, making them into a Hope Spot as well.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: On 9/29/11, a caller simply said "Fuck you". Ghost decided to harass that caller by calling him back repeatedly, then leaves a message on the phone hoping his mother hears, and even lies and says the caller traumatized his dead grandmother.
    • Ghost's reaction to CelticBrony trying to dox him was to not only dox him back, but to dox any trolls connected with him and run them off the internet, then encourage Celtic to commit suicide.
  • Do Not Do This Cool Thing: Ghost smoked "Tetrahydrocannabinol", as he called it, on 4/20 to show kids that they shouldn't. He then proceeded to be extremely calm, giving long-winded rants on existential subjects and reacting to trolls with simple apathy.
  • Dude, Not Funny!: In-Universe example. People usually bombarded Twitter and (when he had a chatroom, the chatroom) with names with the sole purpose of setting Ghost off.
  • Dumb Is Good: In the October 18's broadcast, Ghost expresses a love for the mentally retarded.
  • Early-Bird Cameo: KaraszKun was given a twitter shoutout right before the Ghosties awards on December 31st, 2011. He also had another one later on when he called Ghost and told him, out of genuine concern, to calm down before he has a heart attack. Ironiclly, Ghost actually raged at him over this.
  • Early Installment Weirdness: Up until 2010, his show was really a fairly ordinary, if rather extreme, far-right radio show.
  • Earn Your Happy Ending: The show is over but pretty much everyone got a happy end. Ghost is moving on with his life and getting to spend more time with his family, Ghetto Capitalist claims that his movement is unhindered now and is having a blast, everyone gave Ghost and the Engineer a nice send-off, Goofy Bone is a Defector from Decadence, and Celticbrony and Prankster Pinkie Pie got their comeuppence.
  • Ensemble Cast: Oh yes. Even discounting the main crew of trolls and capitalists, there are a massive number of splicers who usually show up on twitter or call in only occasionally (The Harbingerr, Navy Huskie, Alex S, Elfoxoloco, DarkRazorZ, etc.)
  • Even Evil Has Standards: Although Ghost says nasty things about Barack Obama, on 9/8/11, he really called out on a caller for saying he's going to snipe the president, saying he should be sent to authorities.
    • He even called out people on Twitter that had names mocking Steve Jobs' death on 10/5/11.
    • He got really pissed when someone made a crack about the 2011 Japan tsunami/nuclear leak.
    • This video.
    • One of his recent catchphrases is "DEATH TO BASHAR AL-ASSAD!", due to the Syrian president's violent crackdown on protesters, and the death of thousands.
    • He has called out the Stop Online Piracy Act and the Protect-IP act.
    • He's also shown his contempt for Jerry Sandusky.
    • He thinks people went too far with the "gingers have no souls" thing.
    • He was offended at being compared to Rush Limbaugh.
    • Back in February, he called out Tommy Jordan for bad parenting and using his internet fame(based entirely on Jordan bad mouthing his daughter and shooting her laptop) for attention whoring.
    • He called out someone that was making fun of the Columbine school shooting during the April 20 Radio Graffiti segment.
    • He said Bullets4Bronies was going too far.
    • He got very angry at some twitter names mocking MCA's death.
  • Everyone Has Standards: Ghost is a jerkass but as noted above, he has standards, sometimes comes to the protection of the Engineer or other members of the "cast" if they're being pushed too hard, and calls out trolls who take a joke too far.
    • Everyone had this reaction when Vibrator ended up pushing the Engineer into tears. Even Vibrator himself.
  • Everyone Calls Him Barkeep: The Engineer.
    • Ghost himself, which is obviously not his real name.
  • Everything Is Big in Texas: Said verbatim in the 8/18/11 show.
  • Exact Words: He said that your mother was at T.G.I. Friday's looking for "Alabama black snake." Presumably ABS is an obscure cocktail that few of us have heard of, and not a black man's penis?
  • Fail O Sucky Name: Many of the Twitter names of people trying to get shout-outs are intentionally offensive, with the intent of tricking Ghost into saying them on the air. Sometimes Ghost notices before he even says them, sometimes he never notices at all, but usually he'll notice right after he says them out loud. Unfortunately for Ghost, and fortunately for the trolls, they usually serve as good material for audio splicers. ("I'm a Goddamn racist, I'm a goddamn piece of crap ♪")
  • Fat Bastard: Ghost actually called one of his younger trolls this. The troll reacted by pretending to have an orgasm.
  • Face-Heel Turn: Equestrian Citizen revealed himself to be a white guy using a voice changer and promptly began sucking up to Ghost.
  • Filk Song: A trans-testicle woman sings a homoerotic love song to Ghost, to the tune and semi-lyrics of "What Makes You Beautiful".
  • Five-Man Band:
  • Five-Bad Band:
  • Forced Meme: Ghost tried to advocate the use of the term "hambone" to insult what he considers to be overweight people who contribute nothing to society. The trolls gladly helped it become a popular meme... by splicing clips of Ghost calling himself a hambone.
    Ghost, from True Capitalist Radio, is a HAM-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE.
  • Game Mod: True Capitalist DOOM: Bronies on Earth. Replacing various weapons and powerups with various happenings on the show, such as a "Can crusher" shotgun, a pearl launcher as the rocket launcher, a hadoken for the BFG or invulnerability being "Chatroom Martial Law". Although the enemy sprites weren't changed, they did receive some voices and names such as the Fruitbowl (Imp) or FU Texas Beast (CyberDemon, which of course, plays "Fuck You Texas" when it's alerted). Currently, the mod's availible as a .pk3 that can be mounted over other DOOM .wads in a sourceport such as ZDoom or Skulltag.
    • Ghost himself claimed he actually liked the DOOM mod. Probably due to the fact he gets to be a major Bad Ass among the same level as the DOOM Guy.
  • Giant Space Flea from Nowhere: The NCF (or someone claiming to be a member, at least) suddenly hacking Ghost and making him quit True Capitalist Radio on May 23rd.
  • Godzilla Threshold: After Newt Gingrich won the South Carolina primary, Ghost was so disgusted with the crop of Republican candidates that he considered supporting Ron Paul.
    • He has also considered moving to "Canadia" since, in his words, they're getting more capitalist than America
  • The Grinch: Ghost did state that he hated Christmas, but he also hated being compared to the Trope Namer.
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: This guy rages at almost anything; claiming he's something he's not (i.e. racist, hambone, etc.), playing a Stupid Statement Dance Mix, "splicing" his voice or augmenting wave files, mentioning anything to do with My Little Pony or his family, making light of Texas (especially the drought and wildfires, etc.), playing Christmas music, playing Oklahoma University's Boomer Sooner song, Howard Stern, the list goes on and on. Most of the time, it's hard to tell what won't make him rage. Except for staying on his topic.
    • Hell, even staying on topic makes him rage sometimes. Just having a voice he doesn't like makes him think "Your voice doesn't fit my idea of machismo, therefore, you're destroying America and your point is moot." This even happened with a caller who agreed with him on 10/4/11.
    • He even makes himself rage. This is especially prominent in his early shows.
  • He-Man Woman Hater: Ghost, to awful extremes (he's spoken approvingly of "putting women in their place" through physical abuse, and refers to any female caller as a slut or "skankasaurus."). His misogyny knows no bounds.
  • Hidden Depths: Darker example. The Engineer is a racist, and Ghetto Capitalist wants to incite a race war.
  • Hostile Show Takeover: The Engineer, of all people
  • Humiliation Conga: Wait for the calls.
    • Inflicted on Celticbrony by the Capitalist Army and the Ghetto Capitalist Army.
  • Hypocrite: Ghost rages at those who accuse Obama's critics of being racist, but he willingly accuse anyone who mocks or criticises Herman "Sugar" Cain of being racist.
  • I Am the Trope: On the 12/06/11 show, Ghost said "I am Blog Talk Radio!"
  • Idiosyncratic Episode Naming: After True Capitalist Radio stopped being just another show to troll and became basically an online sitcom with characters and an (unwilling) Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist, DarkRazorZ began naming the episodes when he uploaded them onto Youtube. They're usually named after the best troll of the day or a running gag throughout the episode ("12 Year Old Vs Ghost," "RIP Steve Jobs," "Spectator's Spectacular Testicles," etc.)
  • I Knew It: In-Universe. He guessed right that the Megaupload controversy was a trap.
    • He knew the whole situation with Asho in November was all a setup.
  • I Lied: Ghost claimed that his final show would be on March 9th. As it turned out, there was no show on that date, and it was merely an attempt to troll the trolls.
  • Incoming Ham:
    Well folks, I think it's time for everybody's favorite part of the broadcast, AND I'M TALKIN' ABOUT RADIO GRAFFITIIIIII! Hahahahaaaa!
    • "Ghost baby what's goin' on?!"
    • "SUCK MAH DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK, SUCK MAH DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK-"
  • I Need a Freaking Drink: "Cause drinking is what I like to do~!"
    • Well, there's gotta be an explanation for all those cans! However, he considers himself to be a connoisseur and not an alcoholic. He has also often used the allure of cheap drinks on 6th Street as an excuse for potentially ending the show when he's angry.
  • Internet Tough Guy: "YOU'RE LUCKY WE'RE NOT IN A GODDAMN BARROOM BECAUSE I'D BEAT THE LIVING BAJEZUS OUT'A YOU!"
  • Insane Troll Logic: 9/27/11: A guy says an old meme. According to Ghost, it's why America is going down the toilet. No, it does not make sense in context.
    • He makes fun of ethnic minorities like there is no tomorrow. He's not a racist, though!.
  • Insult Backfire: Any insult Ghost tries to use on the trolls will either be ignored, accepted with glee, used against him, or turned into yet another remix.
    • The crowning example: "Hambone", which he invented to subtly insult overweight people. The trolls turned it against him almost immediately.
  • Intercontinuity Crossover: "I GOT MY LITTLE PONY CHARACTERS CALLING ME NOW"
  • Interrupting Meme: "SUCK MAH DIIIIICK!" was used in such a manner on one occasion.
  • I Read It for the Articles: Some people actually listen to Ghost for his political opinions.
  • It's All About Me: "I'M THE TALENT! ME! NOT THE ENGINEER! ME!"
  • Is This Thing On?: How Ghost began his big comeback on April 17th.
  • I Take Offense to That Last One: When accused of being, for example, a "racist, shapeshifting Jew," his response is "I'm not a Jew!". Could be considered a running joke.
    • A caller sings a parody of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" where he calls Ghost a racist, a fruitbowl, a hambone, and a reptile. But Ghost doesn't get offended until he says "Hannukah night".
  • Jerkass: Ghost himself.
    • He went off on a rant about members of Slipknot crying about their bassist's death thus:
    He was a fat idiot! What did they think would happen? ...crying like bitches.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Ghost to a degree. Celticbrony seemed to be this, but eventually revealed himself to be a Jerk with a Heart of Jerk.
  • Karma Houdini: Subverted. Celticbrony's Evil Plan succeeded and he got away with it, but his victory was rendered meaningless by the show ending and now he's rejected and hated as the guy who made TCR end.
  • Kayfabe: No one knows how real some of the more... eccentric... figures on True Capitalist are, but few bother to try and find out, since it's a hell of a lot of fun anyway.
  • Kick the Dog: A literal case: Ghost tells one his listeners that he'll respect him if he kicks his dog on 27th September 2011.
    • Ghost also does this a few times every episode.
    • Around Christmas, a legitimate fan bought about $50 in his merchandise and made a video to get a Twitter follow from Ghost and to be in the "True Capitalist Fan Ring of Honor." Instead, Ghost just insulted him and backed down on his word. This event caused many people, legitimate fans and trolls alike, to lose all sympathy for Ghost.
    • On January 25th, he declared that all mental disorders from depression to PTSD to autism were entirely fake and basically said that kids suffering from them were "pussies." Whatever sympathy he gained from listeners after his most recent breakdown was entirely lost after that.
      • This also showcased Ghost as a massive hypocrite as one of his catchphrases during his breakdowns is "I'm jaded man, I mean, I'M DEPRESSED!" So it's okay for him to be depressed?
    • The May 4th broadcast featured Ghost being harsher and nastier than he had been in a long time; for the past few months, starting with the Ghostie Awards, he had steadily been evolving into something of a lovable old grouch, so it's somewhat jarring to listen to this broadcast and hear him say that he wants Tub Guy to drown in his bathtub.
    • He also gives people's phone numbers away in the hope that their homes will be trolled, generally recognized more of a 4Chan fighting style than mere kick the doggery.
    • On 5/9/12, he said that if Tupac Shakur is still alive, he should be killed by other gangsters.
      • From the same episode, during Radio Graffiti, a caller asked Ghost about whatever happened to Xarahox. Ghost replied: "I don't know, hope he killed himself."
  • Kill the Poor: Ghost suggested that welfare food cards should be replaced with feeding the poor and unemployed with horse meat from put-down horses and wild boars, and he also suggests killing stray cats and dogs for blankets. However, actually killing the homeless to use their bodies to feed the poor, as one troll suggests, is crossing the line.
    • Ghost also once called for replacing welfare with putting the unemployed in "labor camps" instead.
  • Kissing In A Tree: "Ghost and Alex Jones/sitting in a tree/K-I-S-S-I-N-G/first comes fearmongering/then comes gay marriage/then comes my fruity-ass fruitbowl gay son-"
  • Large Hambone: When he starts a rant on something, expect lots of hamtastic bellowing, throwing of objects, and threats that would make Brian Blessed proud.
  • Knight of Cerebus: Senator Pooptickler, who is terrifyingly good at doxing people.
  • Lighter and Softer: Ghost's new "Mr. Optimism" persona is this.
  • Madness Mantra: The "Ban All Bronies" "Fuck Bronies" and "Castrate Bronies" spam callers.
    • There was an instance where a caller callled in multiple times simply repeating "Penispenispenispenispenispenis..."
    • "SUCK MY DICK" guy, who'll just bellow "SUCK MY DICK" over and over again, occasionally telling Ghost to calm down or pretending to be a regular collar before letting the dick-sucking commence.
    • The "Accident-Prone Kids for Ghost."
    "Underfed kids, beaten kids, molested kids, lost kids, crying kids, homeless kids, hit and run kids, broken arm kids, broken leg kids!"
  • Makes Sense In Context Only on True Capitalist Radio could the sentences "it's bad enough we got a god damn Poop Tickler, but now we got a poop Tickler Jr." and "oh great, we just ran through the generation of Poop Ticklers" make sense. The sick minded and ever imaginative trolls make for a very long list of such sentences.
  • Manipulative Editing: Its frighteningly easy to make him rage. Just take one of the following sentences (or for bonus points find something he said in the previous episode), and change x (or a key word in another sentence) to the word of your choice.
    • "I happen to have a whole bunch of friends who x/who happen to be x"
    • "Ghost, from True Capitalist Radio, is a x"
    • "x sucks the chrome off of a '57 Chevy bumper!"
    • "Hell, in my personal opinion, x is a good piece of ass.
    • Find a sentence where he says "I'm not a goddamn x", and remove "not"
    • Unfortunately, it really could be that easy. And, a lot of these have been overused so much, that Ghost can probably tell that its going to be an edit.
  • Man of a Thousand Voices: Ghost has quite a talent with impressions. While most of them are of National Stereotypes, he does perform some of them very well, though they tend to slip whenever he yells.
    • You could listen to his "Optimist voice" and never realize it was him.
    • Lampshaded once when a caller said that he would make a great voice actor and then Ghost told him that he already was.
  • Meaningless Villain Victory: Sure, Celtic's gambit might have worked, but Ghost's retirement made the whole thing moot, and ensured that even if he achieved his goal of being 'famous' for it (which doesn't seem likely), he would be remembered as that dick who ended TCR.
  • Mistaken for Gay: Since Ghost is a homophobe, trolls are very dedicated to making him sound as gay as possible in their splices.
  • Mistaken for Racist: Subverted. Ghost insists that this is what's happened to him, but his usage of terms like "Alabama black snake," and firm belief in racial stereotypes reveals a very different story.
  • Mistaken Identity: "Is this Nikolai?!"
    FBI: Hello, this is the FBI.
    Ghost: Is this Nikolai?!
    FBI: ...no, this is the FBI.
    Ghost: You cock-eyed Russian.
  • Mondegreen: In the November 1 Radio Graffiti segment, a caller, impersonating Twilight Sparkle from My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic says "suck my flank" to imitate the "Suck my dick" guy. Ghost mishears it and says "Are you kidding me?! Suck my BLANK?!"
    • Ghost misheard Tri$ha saying "what do you have against the third gender" as "surf dinner", to which he replied "I like Surf 'n' Turf, what the hell you talking about?"
    • Ghost has misinterpreted the word "Touhou" as "toe hoe" on several occasions, causing him to rant that the fandom is made up of "sick foot fetish freaks".
  • Motor Mouth: Ghost. He can literally talk for hours.
    • Some of the callers are this, because they have to fit whatever they're trying to enrage Ghost with into a few seconds so he doesn't hang up on him.
  • Mundane Made Awesome: "I'm implementing CHATROOM MARTIAL LAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! YEAH HA HAAAAAAA~"
  • National Stereotypes: In his "Guess the Minority" game, Ghost tries to identify the race of the caller by asking questions relating to these (i.e. "What is your favorite food?")
  • No Ending: CelticBrony's plan paid off and he 'beat' Ghost, but his victory meant pretty much nothing; Ghost is preparing to implement some new capitalistic ideas in Austin and is spending more time with his wife now, and with him out of the picture, the Ghetto Capitalist Revolution can continue unhindered.
    213: One less enemy of the Ghetto Capitalist Revolution, baby! Woo!
  • No True Scotsman: Common method of trolling early in the show involves trolls tweeting/spamming in chat to ghost that he's un american due to his dislike of coffee. This often leads into him going on a long rant about coffee drinkers and the fact, that coffee is not produced in United States
  • No, Except Yes: It's not cans, it's "crap on his desk".
    • "craponmydesk.wav"?
  • No Indoor Voice: When he's angry, Ghost will raise his voice, a lot.
  • Non Sequitur: Most "troll" calls end up being like this: Host brings up topic. Host asks for opinion on topic. Caller says something completely off-topic. Host makes fun of him and/or rages about off-topic call. That's the circle of life around here.
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: The Engineer seems like a buffoon but he shows several times that he's smarter than he seems.
  • Older Than They Think (In-Universe): Before it turned into Engineer's running gag, someone played the theme from that film during the June 17th, 2011 raid.
  • Once an Episode: He always starts with the markets, then goes to political news, then Radio Graffiti, a call-in segment where callers get "three to four seconds to say whatever's on your mind"
  • One-Hit Kill: Coodoo has made this into an art, often taking down Ghost with a single remix.
  • Opening Narration: Near the top of the hour, but always to the effect of "This is the (Second/Third and Final) hour of the True Capitalist Radio broadcast, I am your host, the man they call Ghost."
  • Overly Long Gag: On December 14th, when Engineer hijacked the show, Knee Slappington, aka the Austin Vibrator, called in with his usual "OOOOOOOOOOOOOO" sound effect. Rather than cutting him off, Engineer let it run for several minutes, even trying to sing along at points.
    Knee Slappington: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    Engineer: BAP BAP BAP AWWWWWWWW
  • Overused Running Gag: Twitter users continuously made-up names referencing the Texas fire, India and Turkey quakes, and Steve Jobs' death for a time.
  • Papa Wolf: Don't insult his family, especially his grandmother.
    Ghost: DON'T YOU EVER TALK ABOUT MAH FAMILY!
    • Or KaraszKun.
  • Pet the Dog:
    • On January 6th, 2012, Ghost defends Equestrian Citizen from racial slurs.
    • Despite his conflicting feelings toward the Engineer and his antics, Ghost has defended him when callers accused him of being 'retarded' or 'incompetent'.
    • Despite his well known feelings towards the LGBT community, he openly criticized Chick-fil-A on his Twitter concerning their support of bigoted-groups and told the restaurant to Get Back in the Kitchen make them some chicken.
    • While he shows disgust towards the "trans-testicles" who call in, he does usually use their preferred pronouns when referring to them.
  • Please Subscribe to Our Channel: "Spread it around LIKE WAHLDFAUR!"
    • Retweeting the episode's post on Twitter also made the user eligible for a shout-out. Of course, this proudly backfired on him, every time.
  • Poe's Law: Is he a true capitalist, or a talented voice actor and the world's greatest professional troll? If he's real, then the Magic of his Melting Pot of Friendship must keep his infinite supply of beer cans on his table, as well as allowing him to understand his engineer.
    • He demonstrates his voice acting talents on many occasions, doesn't sound that Texan and is just too perfect trolling material. You'd think he'd learned by now not to answer calls from Dr. Pooptickler.
    • On the other hand, if he is a troll, he's spent four years and anywhere from $1596 to $11,952 just to piss people off.
  • Point-and-Laugh Show: A rare case of this trope where it's the host that's being laughed and pointed at.
  • Precision F-Strike: When Ghost is really, really, angry, he will fire one off. The Engineer has been heard to drop them on occasion.
  • Product Placement: He really hated people trying to get free promotion; ranging from the Surge Radio guy, and during the final weeks of shows, trolls also played advertisements during Radio Graffiti (including most infamously, the JG Wentworth "choir" ad, and Lots and Lots of Trains)
  • Put on a Bus: Asho has been sent off to rehab.
  • Rant Inducing Slight: After a host of voice clips Ghost weathered with simple 'shut up's, an apparent child asking for anal sex finally tips him over the edge.
  • Rage Quit: Ghost seems to be the master at faking going off the air, since usually something will end up happening which turns it into more of an intermission.
    • However, on at least nineteen separate occasions, he has truly ended the show.
      • The first known ragequit was on April 26th, 2001, when the Internet Buttstalker pulled 10 chain calls in a row.
      • The second known ragequit was on May 10, 2011, after Ghost got very annoyed to the point where he flipped out.
      • The third known ragequit was on July 8, 2011, when people claimed they were bored and he sang Nyan Cat.
      • The fourth known ragequit was on August 1, 2011, when people were greatly annoying him on his first day back from a hiatus (the last one was a homosexual that pretended he was a fan of the show).
      • The fifth known ragequit was on August 19, 2011, after a caller claimed he was going to make a game based off his show.
      • The sixth known ragequit was on August 29, 2011 after an audio splice about him being the king of 10-year old boy ass.
      • The seventh was two days later on August 31, 2011 (shortly after the "Money, Success, Fame, Bronies" caller). Though he did sort of come back to dance to the Mexican Hat Dance but truly rage quit after that.
      • The eighth known ragequit was on September 7, 2011, after a caller played an audio splice of Ghost using the N-word twice in a row.
      • The ninth was on September 9, 2011, after massive trolling from Texas wildfires via Twitter shout outs to a Radio Graffiti segment with back-to-back remixes of Tetris Theme A.
      • The tenth was on November 8, 2011, after the hambone remix of Skrillex's Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites.
      • The eleventh was on December 7, 2011 after he considered the fruitiness level to be way outside his comfort zone; he first did a fake ragequit after someone sang a song about him, calling him a "Jewish hambone faggot brony", then, later in the show, he finally ragequit after Note Party/Tri$ha called him a hambone in response to a comment about estrogen pills.
      • The twelfth was on January 6th, 2012, after reading a chatroom name saying "Mug Ranny's A Tranny"note 
      • The thirteenth was on January 25th, 2012, during Radio Graffiti, after someone called another radio show using Ghost's voice, and the host of the radio show that was pranked said "he sounds like, uh, what's his name, Alex Jones", which sent Ghost into a massive rage about being compared to Alex Jones.
      • The fourteenth was on February 9th, with the "SUCK MAH DICK" guy singing a Bruno Mars parody, followed shortly by Tub Guy calling in to say that he was going to "invite Ghost to his World War III bunker for a three-way with Alex Jones"
      • The fifteenth was on February 16th, 2012 after two "trans-testicles" "fought" over him, not long after he went into a massive rage over a Herbert the Pervert call.
      • The sixteenth was on March 2nd, 2012, after a caller played an autotuned version of Pinkie Pie's Laughter Song.
      • The seventeenth was on April 19, 2012, after the Bob the Builder remix.
      • The eighteenth was on April 30th, 2012, after a back to back combo of a prank call of Ghost calling PETA and TexasStroll playing a remix of Ghost singing Stevie B's "Spring Love."
      • The nineteenth and last time was on May 15, 2012, after a back to back combo of a fake advertisement disrespecting KaraszKun and Coodoo17 playing a Backstreet Boys remix.
    • This was subverted at least three times: The first known occasion was on May 18, 2011, when Ghost was doing a news story and when he was doing calls and the feed unexpectedly died around 160 minutes into the show. It then played the outro a few seconds later. The second time was on January 27th, 2012's Radio Graffiti segment; someone played a clip of himself allegedly playing a Ghost clip at Howard Stern, right at the end of the show. While in reality, he got cut off by BlogTalkRadio suddenly removing the functionality that let his show overrun, the amount of reaction you heard from him before he got cut off was probably enough to leave you believing that he was having a mega-rage and just decided to cut himself off because he didn't want to go on after that. The third instance was on April 17th, 2012's episode during Radio Graffiti when the microphone died twice during the segment. The first time it was after the sixth caller, then it died again for the rest of the show fifteen minutes after Radio Graffiti started.
    • He also faked it twice in December only for the Engineer to hijack the show until his return.
    • It's arguable that it happened on February 20th, although before it cut off, he had mentioned the show was already shot and he was just letting random people call in. (He'd been having microphone problems pretty much the entire second half of the show)
  • Rated M for Manly: Ghost certainly thinks he's this, making empty threats to the trolls and how he's a big badass. He also screams for fruitbowls and bronies to have 'testosterone shot up their ass'.
    • He also expects his callers to sound manly.
  • Recurring Riff: Well you know what this country is turning into? Junkyard America!
    • Sometimes after calls that really grind his gears, he'll do a musical intermission while he cools off. Sometimes he does an intermission in such a way that will force the trolls to turn him off by boring them to death, because they apparently love "lulz" and "fruitbowl music"
    • MONEY, SUCCESS, FAME, GLAMOUR.
      • MONEY, SUCCESS, FAME, BRONIES. (YOU MADE A SONG OF THAT?!?!?!)
    • "Fuck You Texas" used to be common prank call material, but even Ghost thinks it's gotten old already. The same may also go for the thousands of callers who still blast "Melting Pot of Alcohol" at him. Something the people who keep overusing the "Hambone" meme need to learn already.
  • Refrain from Assuming: Ghost often gets song titles or genres wrong after hearing remixes. He's referred to Brodyquest as both "Axel F" and the theme to Footloose, the Dr. Mario theme as "circus music", "Entrance of the Gladiators" (a song which is often circus music) as "hoedown music", both the Driftveil City theme and "She Blinded Me With Science" as "that weird science song", a remix of Spark Man's theme as Contra, The GameCube boot remix as Wanna Be Startin' Somethin', "The Gonk" as "music from The Roaring Twenties", "Be Our Guest" as poetry, and The Song of Storms as a song from Yoshi (this one made DarkRazorZ rage).
    • A frequent Skype caller with the username "Tara Strong" often plays spliced quotes from everypony's favorite show, but has also played Princess Clara lines, taking advantage of the fact that she shares the same voice actor as Twilight Sparkle. Ghost caught on to the part that mattered, and immediately dismissed them as being Pony-related.
    • Averted when someone was playing "Bloody Tears" and Ghost thought it was Mexican music, until he heard a little more and realized it was from Castlevania.
  • Repurposed Pop Song: The Sanford and Son theme for the Junkyard America song, and the theme from The Price Is Right for Guess the Minority.
  • Ruined FOREVER: Ghost himself
  • Reverse Cerebus Syndrome: As time went on, there were more and more trolls and fewer (supposedly) serious listeners, to the point where by the last episodes almost no one seemed to take Ghost seriously any more. Also on a micro scale in each episode: the Markets and News are generally standard political/financial-show fare, but when Ghost starts the calls, shout outs, and radio graffiti, things quickly get silly.
invokes this on December 7th after people continued requesting the Engineer to host again.
  • Riddle for the Ages: Is Ghost a real person, or just a troll? No one knows for certain (and probably never will now) but few actually care.
  • Running Gag: Many:
    • "Guess the Minority", a segment where Ghost tries to guess the ethnicity of a caller by asking them questions related to stereotypes, or guessing based off their voice alone. He freakin' loves this game, man!
    • Spontaneously breaking into song (Junkyard America!)
    • Twitter filled with usernames intended to make him rage ("PoopTickler?! What kind of a name is PoopTickler?!").
      • Twitter names taking the form of "_______ for ______" (i.e. Spongies for Ghost, Bronies for Ghost, Radiation for Japan, etc.)
      • Twitter names combining Ghost's name with that of communist or fascist dictators (i.e. Ghostler, Benito Ghostini, Ghostef Stalin, Fidel Ghostro, etc.)
    • Ghost playing clips from "representatives" from various foreign locales (including "Mr. Fortune Cookie" from Communist China, Machmud, a "representative of the Libyan rebel faction", and "The Guru", a stereotypical Indian)
    • NIKOLAI 2012
    • Ghost's disdain for the Occupy Wall Street movement has led to a series of trolls and twitter names mocking him for it. Among them are OccupyCanadia, OccupyManehattan, OccupyCanterlot, OccupyPonyville, OccupySixthStreet, and OccupyGhost'sAss.
    • There was a recurring joke throughout the January 20th show that Ghost was every member of the Today Show.
    • Every time he tries to calm himself down through meditation, he'll end up tossing cans after sighting "that freakin' panda". No, context doesn't help.
  • Satan Is Good:
  • Say My Name: "DAMN YOU NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVYYYYYY HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE...!"
  • Sdrawkcab Name: One caller claimed to be Ohsa, the backwards Asho.
  • Sensory Abuse: Some trolls like to ear-rape Ghost (and the audience) by playing very loud buzzers or yelling at the mic. They tend to be cluster calls, too.
  • Serious Business: Ghost thinks his show is this. Most of his audience seems to think otherwise.
  • Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Ghost showed traces of this during some of his shows.
  • Shout-Out: A lot, mostly by the trolls.
  • Show Within a Show: True Optimist Radio, created in response to a caller that Ghost declared wanted everything sugar-coded with optimism, turning one of his mocking voices into a new persona, Mr. Optimism, who tries to conduct the show in a Lighter and Softer manner.
  • Shut Up, Kirk!: When someone infuriates him in a call, he will tell them to shut up and call them out. One example was on February 3rd's Radio Graffiti segment, where a caller just tells him how to run his show. Ghost did not take it well and called him out for being "a Roman Polanski pedophile."
    • In Ghost's defense that caller had blaimed the parents on the molested kids instead of, you know, the molesters that did it in the first place?
  • Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Tzeki, Alex Jones, Howard Stern, Asho, the Capitalist Queer, the Ghetto Capitalist, DarkRazorZ, Equestrian Citizen, Tri$ha, NavyHusky, The Internet Buttstalker, and many more.
  • Slash Fic: This.
  • Small Name, Big Ego: Ghost has been this for a while, but it shows the most on the episode on 8/29/11. He actually believes that he is more significant to pop culture than 4chan, and says that he's making a mask for Ghost, and actually thinks it's going to overshadow the Guy Fawkes mask.
    • He repeatedly claims that he is "listened to by tens of thousands of capitalists THROUGHOUT THE WORLD!!"
    • On 12/12/11, he actually states the possibility of a Ghostcon and said he had a band who "will be at the Grammies."
    • In response to people requesting the engineer to host again: "I'm the talent!"
    • Ghost actually believed that Alex Jones was listening to his broadcasts(I KNOW YOU'RE LISTENING, ALEX!! YOU FAT, POT-BELLIED BASTARD!) on a regular basis in order to steal ideas such as Radio Graffiti from him.
    • On January 9, 2012's episode, after reading the chatroom name "4 Years of Shitty Radio" in the Chatroom shout outs segment, he claims he's an internet legend.
  • The Social Darwinist: Ghost believes that human progress would be brought about by the elimination of individuals who cannot sustain themselves. He believes that humans should be applied to natural selection so that only the working class, A.K.A., the ones who can sustain themselves, should be the only ones to live.
    • Ghost has also stated that he is "pro-death" in general, approves of Rick Perry's record number of executions and approves of people ignoring safety laws simply because it would be more likely for them to get killed in an accident.
  • Some of My Best Friends Are X: "I happen to have a whole bunch of friends who happen to be black!" Or Mexican, or women.
  • Spin-Off: In a way; both Goofy_Bone (most infamously), and most recently, Asho, also have their own shows on BlogTalkRadio.
    • In September 2011, the usual trolls started targeting Goofy_Bone's show too. Despite trying to defend himself, he ended up caving in and doing his own version of Radio Graffiti. This continued over a slight hiatus Ghost had, but when he was alerted to this, he, predictably, called Goofy out and went off about it, as usual. He dubbed it a "poor man's Mexican version" and a "bean and cheese" version of his own show.
    • Then in response, Goofy re-named it Bean and Cheese Graffiti
  • Springtime for Ghostler: Following another fake ragequit, the Engineer takes over the show, playing songs disliked by Ghost and answering calls in his unintelligible gibberish. Ghost eventually 'returns' and proceeds to scold the Engineer. It seems like he did this in an attempt to either chastise the listeners or convince the trolls that the show had effectively ended, but when he got back and started taking calls, people were demanding that the Engineer host the show again. This has turned into a surprisingly effective trolling tactic, causing Ghost to enter fits of envious rage over his own character.
  • Stay in the Kitchen: Whenever a woman comes on who calls him out on his downfalls, attempts legitimate arguing, or trolls him, expect this to be his response.
  • Stealth Pun: Whenever Ghost is giving shout outs to people in the chatroom, some would attempt to make Ghost say names such as "AlphaKennyOne" or "IsleOfRussia". Most of the time however, he catches on the wordplay.
  • Stock Sound Effect: A rare live example; whenever Ghost gets especially upset, expect to hear cans (most likely beer) being shoved off a table. It's often referred to as "cans.wav", alluding to the uncertainty over if it is real or not.
  • Stupid Statement Dance Mix: Unfortunately (well, to him), a lot of the one-liners he's said (like "melting pot of friendship", "HAMBOOOOONE", etc.) end up being perfect material for these. When people got the bright idea to start playing them right at him during calls, Ghost reacted accordingly. That is, he hates them to no end.
  • Surrounded By Fruitbowls: Ghost.
  • Tantrum Throwing: The cans.
  • Tempting Fate: What do we begin with?
    • The prime example would be whenever he specifically asks the listeners NOT to remix him with something.
  • That Came Out Wrong: "If anyone came at me trying to be busy badass, you know I always walk around out here in Texas ... with my strap on"
  • That Makes Me Feel Angry: Ghost has been known to say that he's angry or depressed most of the time during his broadcast.
  • Three Chords and the Truth: When a troll played the "Kill Your Famiily Show", he mistook for a satanic rock band trying to advertise their album with subliminal messages. It then turned into a rant about modern rock being "three or four-chord crap"
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Ghost loves delivering one to any caller he doesn't like that he feels he can make a broad, sweeping generalization about based on their voice, namely anyone he thinks sounds even a hair less masculine than he is (which he'll then assume is a fat Basement-Dweller who wastes their time watching My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic and/or effeminate male with bad parents.)
    • He gave an indirect one to Howard Stern on July 6, 2011's episode. Instead of doing the normal chatroom shout-outs, he pretty much called Howard Stern out.
    • Ghost gets his fair share of these too, though they're usually in song form. This one is probably one of the greatest ones.
    • Goofy Bone also received a well deserved one at the hands of Ghetto Capitalist.
  • Threat Backfire: Someone has probably kept a good count of how many times he has threatened while upset to not come on the next day, or otherwise permanently end the show for good.
    • There's also all the times he's threatened punitive damages, but so far this hasn't happened. But, he has tried to get dox on trolls though.
    • His shows are now pretty sparse, especially after days he gets particularly angry.
  • Toilet Humor: What kind of a name is PoopTickler?!
    • "I happen to have a whole bunch of friends who group poop."
    • On Oct 3, 2011, a user named Ray Twilight recorded a sound of what appears to be someone with bad diarrhea, grossing Ghost out. On January 18th, 2012, another user from area code 512 did a splice using that same sound effect making it sound like Ghost had bad diarrhea, causing Ghost to rage.
    • And then there was a single call consisted only of the sound of someone peeing into a toilet.
    • And then another with the same sound of peeing, but with a Ghost laugh added into it.
    • And yet another one with Ghost saying "Why don't you take a whiff of this... UH-OH! POO-POO!" followed by the diarrhea noise.
  • Too Soon: Invoked often, he'll freak out if anyone tries to make humor around an event, especially if it involves the death of a major figure, or it happened in Texas (i.e. the constant Texas Fire jokes)
    • On the day of the SOPA/PIPA protest, one caller made a splice to make it sound like Ghost supports it (even though he's been vocally anti-SOPA). Even the people in the chatroom called it too soon.
    • He even reacted like this to a username that made fun of the Titanic. Yes, the same Titanic the sunk in 1912.
  • Trademark Favorite Food: "Johnnie Walkerrrrr, Blue Labeeeeeel!"
    • Shrimp, too, judging by his reaction whenever someone brings the "cannibal shrimp" up.
    Goddamnit I want my shrimp back! *cans*
  • Trolls: They come. They try to make him look like a fool. He fires back by claiming they're wholly responsible for America's bad economy.
    • There has been much speculation regarding whether Ghost is genuine in his antics, or if he's one of these. Following the show's (alleged) cancellation on May 23, 2012, it was revealed in a final chat session that both sides are sort of right. Some rages (specifically the meme-related ones) were exaggerated and he is, in fact, friends with the troll Amy Daly, but he was also a Texan capitalist and a genuinely angry man when he started the show- three hours a day of ranting about politics and being trolled helped him get it all out of his system.
  • Troperiffic
  • Troubling Unchildlike Behavior: Regular caller Asho smoked weed and looks at pornography, knowing that his mom is elsewhere hitting on strangers.
  • The Unintelligible: Engineer and the Guru.
  • Unexplained Recovery: Senator Pooptickler.
  • Unknown Rival: ALEX JONES IS RUINING AMERICA *cans.wav*
  • Unstoppable Rage: Especially prevalent when his show was called True Conservative Radio. He'd start yelling for about a few minutes over anything. Whether it was bad parents, a Troll or over anything, he'd start yelling at the slightest twitch.
  • Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: Ghost unwittingly made himself into this.
  • Verbal Tic / You Keep Using That Word: "Trans-testicle" instead of transsexual (which spread out into the troll usage), "Canadia" (pronounced like "Canadian") instead of Canada, etc.
    • Ghost also throws around variants of "fruit" as an adjective, noun, and verb for something that is, or is becoming overly flamboyant or gay. Thus, the term "fruitbowl" is used as a describer for things that meet this criteria.
    • Whenever talking to, or about Latinos (such as Goofy_Bone and Asho), Ghost will invariably mention "bean and cheese". He also claims that bean and cheese is extremely cheap to get in Texas.
    • He's also recently advocated the use of the term "hambone" to refer to and subtly mock people who he views as "fat jelly-asses" who live off welfare and otherwise contribute nothing to society. However, it'd help if all the prank callers didn't go around calling him one.
    • The various trolls have their own verbal tics. Ghetto Capitalist has "baby", Tub Guy has "Oh my!" and Equestrian Citizen has the n-word.
    • And he calls xarahox a "penist"
    • When he's particularly angry, he'll add "fer Christ sake" to the end of just about every sentence.
  • Very Special Episode: March 27th, 2012, in which he devoted the entire show to the Trayvon Martin case. This lead to more serious callers than usual, some agreeing with him and some debating him. Everybody else played splices of him urinating on his family.
  • The Villain Sucks Song: "Well FUCK you Texas, and FUCK your Lone Star Beer..." COULD YOU SHOVE THAT SONG UP YOUR ASS?!
    He's some kind of Jewish grand dragon.
    A hambone and a racist and he's green.
    When the evil trolls attack
    He gives those cans a mighty smack! *cans.wav*
  • Villainous Breakdown: Tons of 'em.
    • This might be his biggest one
    • December 2011 saw an increase in breakdowns. At one point he was crying (he denies it of course).
  • Villainous Rescue: Senator Pooptickler pulled an epic one against Celticbrony on Jan. 31st 2012, with help from various bronies and capitalists.
  • Volleying Insults: Tzeki and Goofy Bone once used Radio Graffiti to verbally abuse each other.
  • Wham Episode: January 30th and 31st, 2012.
  • Wham Line: On May 3, 2012's Radio Graffiti segment, a caller pretended to be on his side, talking about the government and people with EB Ts...until he says this line:
    • "As of this Tuesday, my EBT card has your avatar on it. So, every time I swipe, I know..." He got cut off mid-sentence, complete with Ghost raging.
  • Why We're Bummed Capitalism Fell: For a community who spent a year deliberately driving him insane, people were pretty upset when Ghost announced he was quitting the show, and rejoiced upon his return.
  • Worthy Opponent: Tzeki.
    Ghost: That was some pretty good lulz!
    • Ghost's speech while giving Ghetto Capitalist the Troll of the Year Award had hints of this.
  • Wrong Genre Savvy: Ghost used to be this around the time trolls first started bugging him. Over time he seems to have wised up a little bit. Doesn't prevent the trolls from making him lose it though.
  • You Do NOT Want To Know: Gasgara's relationship with Suspicious Tumbleweed. As the True Capitalist Radio Wiki put it:
    Gasgara's only friend is a strange Canadian teenager who goes by the username Suspicious Tumbleweed. She seems to have a certain appreciation of Gasgara's "personality". They often conversate over Twitter discussing Skype and Xbox LIVE interactions. This relationship disturbs and confuses each and every True Capitalist Radio listener.
  • Your Approval Fills Me with Shame: Trisha, Tub Guy, and Ghetto Capitalist (natch) all approve strongly of Ghost's capitalistic views... but since they're (respectively) a transgender woman, a flamboyant omnisexual, and a welfare abuser, Ghost is absolutely enraged at this hijacking of his philosophy.
  • Your Mom: Sometimes used as a retort.
  • Youtube Poop: Averted; edits of this show are typically limited to remixes and short quips used to enrage Ghost.


GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHRHHHHHHHGH! GET HIM OFF, ENGINEEEEEEEEEEEER! GET THAT STUPID FRUITY-ASS FRUITBOWL OFF!

THAT'S IT! STICK A FORK IN ME I'M DONE! I'M GOING TO 6TH STREET! IT'S MILLA' TIME! GET ME OUT OF HERE ENGINEER!

You've been listening to True Capitalist Radio. The thoughts, views, ideas, comments, and opinions of the host of the show are...absolutely his.
That Long Haired Creepy GuyTurnOfTheMillennium/New MediaWhateley Universe

alternative title(s): Radio Graffiti; True Capitalist; True Capitalist Radio
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