- Alice and Bob, sitting in a tree
First comes love
Second comes marriage
Then comes a baby in a baby carriage!
- Ranma ½: After Ranma makes a sarcastic remark about how Happosai should transfer into their school if he's so jealous of all the time Ryoga and Akane have been spending together to study, Happosai replies:
Happosai: Dont mind if I do, actually. Happy and Akane sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
Ranma: Why, you! Ain't cha never heard of shame?!
Genma: Apparently, not.
- In the Harry Potter Fan Fic sporked here, an adult Sirius Black sings this verbatim about Lupin and his Relationship Sue.
- In It's Kind of a Funny Story, Humble does this to the two leads, after they come into the Arts room together. Point of reference: He's a senior and they're fifteen.
- Ernest Goes To Jail: Chuck sings the tune (Ernest and Charlotte sitting in a tree) when claiming that Ernest(who is Nash wearing Ernest's clothes but not his hat)is in love.
- Greg and Rowley's classmates do this to him in The Film of the Book of Diary of a Wimpy Kid… even though they're both boys.
- In Ice Age: Continental Drift, Manny and Sid taunt Diego with this after realising he's in love with Shira.
- In Stephen King's It, a two rich kids recite the rhyme when they see Beverly and Richie together. Beverly flips them off.
- The 1980 Arthur book "Arthur's Valentine" has this happen when several of the love notes Arthur gets end up spilling out of his jacket. Many of the other schoolkids tease him about this and start singing the rhyme as Arthur retreats.
- House, Wilson and a clinic patient are watching a baseball game in an exam room when it comes up that our favourite diagnostician has a date with Cameron. Cut to House exiting the room while Wilson and the clinic patient sing: "K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"
- On The Big Bang Theory, a drunk Bernadette sang it to Amy and Sheldon, but spelled kissing "k-i-s-s-s-s-i-n-g".
- JD and Danny in Scrubs attempt a literal version of this on their first date, but lose balance and fall out.
- In an episode of Married... with Children, Kelly tried to taunt Bud with this song, but she didn't know how to spell "Kissing".
- Jaye and Erik in Wonderfalls engage in some of this before Jaye breaks up with him because she thinks that if she doesn't she'll hurt him.
- Sex and the City Carrie sings this song about Miranda and Steve at one point, though stops to correct herself that first comes baby, then comes love and marriage.
- On Gimme a Break!, when youngest daughter Samantha has her first kiss with a boy, her two sisters sing this at them.
- In the episode "Damaged" of Criminal Minds, JJ begins to sing it about Garcia and Kevin. To Prentiss' shock, Reid is clueless to its meaning.
- Warehouse 13 has one example without the singing. Pete rattles off the first two lines when he finds out that Artie has a crush on a doctor affiliated with the Warehouse. Claudia mentions Pete saying 'something about Artie and a baby carriage' when she contacts him for information while on a mission.
- During the Spike Dudley and Molly Holly romance angle in WWF in 2001, a fan held up a sign with this written on it one night.
- On a sketch from Horrible Histories that attempted to explain how WWI got started, a British Army captain tries to explain things to his men using an analogy of the countries being "best friends", culminating in two of the soldiers singing "Germany and Austria, sittin' in a tree!"
- The Everybody Loves Raymond episode "Someone's Cranky" features a variation as Robert bitterly calls Debra "perfect":
Robert: Perfect Debra, sitting in a tree, P-E-R-F-E-C-T.
Frank: Hey, that rhymes!
- A more bitter version appears in The New Normal, which is about two gay men trying for a surrogate baby.
Bryan: Bryan and David sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes inability to marry, then comes a stranger with a invasive procedure, then comes the baby in the baby carriage.
- Modern Family, "Yard Sale":
Claire: I just saw Alex and Michael sitting in a tree. Don't make me spell it out for you.
- In Id, Grey does this to Id and Ilrina when she starts acting like a Clingy Jealous Girl. It doesn't go over well.
- The song appears in the bridge following the second chorus of Extreme's "Play With Me", with a variation: the baby in the baby carriage gets a name, and it's Adam.
- In Calvin and Hobbes, Hobbes sings this when Calvin gets a valentine from Susie. Turns out the valentine was for Hobbes.
- FoxTrot: Jason Fox found all his classmates singing this to him after Eileen thinks he's sent her a love note.
- The episode "Broken Window" of Adventures in Odyssey has a particularly humorous take on this, as two of the children tease Connie about her frustration over her boyfriend standing her up:
Alex & Liz: Connie and Mitch, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S—
Connie: (annoyed) We were just going to talk!
Alex & Liz: Connie and Mitch, sitting in a tree, T-A-L-K-I-N—
Connie: (obviously exasperated) We're not in a tree.
Alex: Connie and Mitch, sitting in a booth—
Mr. Whittaker: And I think you'd better stop now.
Alex: We're just practicing our spelling. S-P-L-L… I mean, S-P-I-L…
- In In the Heights, in the song "Carnaval Del Barrio" in Act 2, Daniela asks Benny if he's "seen any horses, today", having heard that he and Nina "went for a roll in the hay". The whole cast then proceeds to sing said song. With harmonies. In a conga line.
- The Broadway version of Disney's The Little Mermaid has a Hold Your Hippogriffs version. Flounder sings "Ariel and someone swimming in the sea, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"
- An easter egg in World of Warcraft does this to popular Shipping couple, Thrall and Jaina.
- Left 4 Dead Rochelle an' the biker dude, sittin' in a tree. kay- eye- ess- ess- eye -n g!
- BlazBlue pulls this trope out during the Military Academy flashbacks from time to time with Tsubaki as the Alice, Jin the Bob, and Makoto the Dana. Makoto explicitly says that she "can read [Tsubaki] like a book when it comes to that boy" and that Tsubaki should "drop that good little cadet schtick and just say it".
- In Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools Of Destruction (Quest for Booty), Rusty Pete teases Ratchet and Talwyn using this, only…
Pete: Lombax and Markazian sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-s-i-n- …huh?
- Yuna from Sandra and Woo sings a slightly adjusted version of the song to embarrass her older brother Cloud after his girlfriend Sandra went home. Cloud's mother Ye Thuza immediately joins in by quoting an embarrassing line from a Cloud x Tifa fanfic.
Cloud: These Cloud x Sandra shippers can get really annoying…
- Let's Destroy The Shagohod!: EVA responds with Naked Snake's closeness with this:
EVA: Snake and The Boss, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N- [is bitchslapped by Snake]
- The webcomic Cyanide & Happiness did a hilarious parody of this.
- Applegeeks gave us this gem.
- Bart Simpson does a sinister version in the episode "Bart's Friend Falls In Love":
Samantha and Milhouse sitting in a tree, about to lose their privacy. He-he-he!
- Homer attempts it in another episode, but trails off after "then comes", muttering to himself "Dammit, I know this!"
- Parodied and combined with Tempting Fate: In The Simpsons' Treehouse of Horror XXVI segment "Wanted: Dead, Then Alive", when Sideshow Bob points a Harpoon Gun at Bart, the kid responds, "Yawn. You couldn't kill me with that thing if I drew an X on my forehead." He then writes an X on his forehead with blue chalk and taunts Bob with, "Bob and a spear gun, sitting in a tree, S-U-C-K-I-N-" Let's just say… it does not bode well for Bart.
- Mater in Cars:
McQueen and Sally parked 'neath the tree, K-I-S-S… uh… I-N-T!
- Tucker in Danny Phantom sings this when Danny and Valerie are paired up to take care of a baby flour sack. Valerie rudely interrupts him by shoving his own hat in his mouth. The two weren't on romantic terms then, but it's a nice foreshadowing.
- In an episode of Tiny Toon Adventures, Montana Max has to deal with people singing this when he somehow gets suckered in to going on a date with Elmyra. The mockers include both their classmates who see them at a fast food joint and later the characters in a movie they watch.
- The Replacements:
- The episode where Riley tries to find a girlfriend for Shelton starts with her receiving a fake love letter from Shelton, actually written by Sierra, who taunts her by singing this (with Abby even joining in). Later, when Riley decides "I know what I have to do," Todd actually imagines Riley and Shelton puckering up while sitting on a tree branch and fears she's going to do just that.
- The series finale contains this exchange upon revealing Jacobo and Tasumi's Last Minute Hook Up:
Riley: What are you guys doing here?!
Tasumi: We were up in your treehouse kissing and we heard a commotion—
Todd: Ooooooh! Jacobo and Tasumi sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I—
Tasumi: Yeah, that's what I just said!
- In the Rocko's Modern Life episode "Wallaby on Wheels", Heffer sings this after figuring out Rocko's affection for Sheila, but doesn't bother to spell "kissing".
- The Codename: Kids Next Door episode introducing King Sandy has Wally suffer this from Hoagie and Abby when he says he has to save Kuki (which he claims is because "she owes me a quarter"). Surrrreee…
- In the Kim Possible episode "Partners", Shego sings it to taunt Drakken about his crush on DNAmy.
- Batman Beyond: The episode "Rats" has Terry's little brother saying this about Terry and Dana, but Terry interrupts it at the last minute, throwing one of his shoes at the door.
- An episode of Arthur has Binky taunt Arthur that he might have a crush on Francine, and starts singing the song only to screw up the spelling several times and then give up.
House: "Grow up—and learn to harmonize!"