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Playground Song
One, two, Freddy's coming for you
Three, four, better lock your door
Five, six, grab your crucifix
Seven, eight, better stay up late
Nine, ten, never sleep again...

A Playground Song is a simple, vocal only song that is popular amongst children. They usually have a relatively straight forward tempo, with the lyrics as the only real consideration. Often, they are meant to be open ended, allowing for either improvisation or indefinite running length. Almost all infinite (or seemingly infinite) loop songs are either a Playground Song or descended from one. These songs are prone to Memetic Mutation and very few of them have a recorded origin. Some go back centuries. A lot are far darker and more cynical than media producers give children credit for, including the numerous Barney and Teletubbies musical Death Fics.

The name comes from the fact that the vast majority of the time, these songs are heard on playgrounds and other public areas that have a lot of children. That doesn't stop them from coming up in other situations, though. "Childrens' Song," while a more generally accepted term, can also be applied to pretty much anything specifically aimed at prepubescent children (such as songs featured on Sesame Street and similar TV shows). This article will focus exclusively on songs that circulate through elementary schools via memes.

Trying to list all the Playground Songs out there is a mostly futile endeavor. There are just way too many of them with way too many mutations and a lot of songs pop up and fade out of existence quickly. Instead, we will only list examples of their use in fiction. Please list examples with the first entry detailing the title of the song (or, if there is no definitive title, the first stanza) and list all examples of usage/mutations under it.

Examples:

  • Playground songs in general:
    • The webcomic "Li'l Mell and Sergio" had a storyline in which Sergio was trying to find the origin of playground songs. As it turns out, they're all written by a secret cave-dwelling tribe of mole people. The mole people are cannibals, but they refuse to eat anyone who knows their songs, so they end up capturing a homeschooled kid and trying to eat him.
    • A short story in Evan Dorkin's Dork was about the guy who wrote all those playground songs and his unfortunate end.
  • John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt
    • Referenced in Robert Heinlein's novel I Will Fear No Evil
    • The character played by Robin Williams in the movie To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar is literally named John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt and is tired of the song.
    • The movie In the Army Now has a couple characters sing it to the annoyance of the other soldiers.
    • The movie Disney's The Kid has the title character singing it to the annoyance of the older character.
    • Mikey in Recess actually gave a bass version.
    • Sung by a music teacher in an issue of Barry Ween.
    • Performed by Jay a couple of times in The Critic, first as part of a faux ventriloquism act with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and in a later episode, in the style of Bob Dylan.
    • Performed on PB&J Otter as "John Jacob Jingle Otter Breath."
    • Has an arrangement on Barney & Friends.
    • Truth in Television: His name is my name, too. (Come on, somebody had to do it eventually.)
  • 99 Bottles of Beer
    • In National Lampoon's Vacation, Clark, while lost in the desert and trying to find help, starts the song at 1000, passing out when he's in the single digits.
    • The bus scene in the camp super special of The Baby-sitters' Club has David Michael starting up a rendition of "a million bottles of beer on the wall" to take up the time. Thinking they're kidding about the number, the sitters allow the kids to continue, only to find out that they are literally counting down from one million.
      "When we arrived at camp, they were still in the nine hundred ninety-nine thousands."
    • In As seen in this strip, A Modest Destiny's Hechter apparently sang this for a good part of five years when buried in the desert.
    • One Calvin and Hobbes strip has Calvin starting this song (at ten million bottles of beer, no less!) during a road trip in order to annoy his dad into stopping for hamburgers.
    • In one of the Ramona Quimby books, Ramona and her friend Howie sing this while they're going about the neighborhood on tin can stilts.
    • In one FoxTrot strip, Jason sings his version of this, replacing the bottles of beer with (several thousand) minutes until school starts.
    • In fiction they're sometimes Bowdlerized to bottles of milk, adults being more squeamish than kids.
      • The How I Spent My Summer Vacation special episode of Tiny Toon Adventures finds Hamton and his parents singing "99 Bottles Of Non-Alcoholic Beverage On The Wall". When Plucky, who's traveling with them, asks "Isn't it 99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall?" Hamton's mom replies, "We don't drink in our family, Plucky"
    • In Zork: Grand Inquisitor, when you enter the Hall of Inquisition, you hear a Totemized Lucy Flathead singing "9999 Bottles of Mead on the Wall'', though she may have started at a much higher number.
    • Left behind on the Lexx for an episode, 790 sings his way up to "790 kisses from Kai on the head."
      "That's one more kiss from the man who is dead..."
    • Glen Cook's Garrett, P.I. references this in his narration, after having to explain to one person after another after another what he's investigating. He wonders if he'll run out of bottles of beer on the wall before the mystery finally starts making sense.
    • An issue of Thor has Asgardian children singing "99 Bottles of Grog on the Wall."
    • In Sinfest sung by God (with an open bottle of "Nectar of the Gods" in hand). Of course, since He starts with "infinity bottles of beer on the wall", the song doesn't change.
    • This is a popular programming challenge.
    • The Annoying Orange sings "Infinite bottles of pop on the wall".
    • In the My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic episode Sleepless In Ponyville, Sweetie Belle sings a ponified version called "99 Buckets of Oats".
    • The Rosa Parks segment on Histeria had Loud Kiddington singing this, and annoying Charity, who yells at him because she can't stand it, causing Kiddington to loose where he was and start over.
    • The Garfield and Friends episode "Speed Trap" had this variation: "99 kettles of soup on the heap, 99 kettles of soup/If one of those kettles I happen to eat/98 kettles of soup on the heap!".
    • On an early episode of Daria, Kevin Thompson quickly earns the annoyance of his classmates by constantly singing "99 Bottles of Beer". He even hums it while making out with Brittany!
    • Referenced in The Smurfs 2, when one of the Smurfs wonder what the things Gargamel has in his lair that are used to clone the Smurfs, Papa says "99 bottles of Smurf on the wall..."
    • Tiny Toon Adventures: In "How I Spent My Vacation", the Pig family sings "100 Bottles of Non-Alcoholic Beverage on the Wall".
    • Rocko's Modern Life: In "Future Schlock", at the end, when the house is rocketed into space, Heffer sings, "Nine hundred bazillion bottles of root beer on the wall..."
    • Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: In "The Mutiny Part 3", Rita Repulsa sings "99 Bottles of Slime on the Wall" as she floats through space in a dumpster. The Rangers and Zordon watch through their viewing globe and laugh.
  • Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit/Beans, Beans, the Magical Fruit (and variations)
    • Referenced in The Simpsons. One episode has Bart transfer to a Christian school and get asked to recite a psalm. He says that the one he knows about is about beans, then starting this song. It cuts just before the word "toot", with a shot of him being chased out of the school.
      • Not sure if it was related to this incident, but one of his blackboard lines was once "Beans are neither a fruit nor musical."
    • A tagline for the Mr. Bean movie referenced the song ("The more you laugh, the better you feel / So go see Bean, he'll make you squeal," or something along those lines).
    • Heffer of Rocko's Modern Life is asked briefly to speak at an impromptu funeral for Filburt's dead parrot. He uses a variation.
      "Beans, beans, they're good for your heart. The more you you eat, the more you—"
      "That's enough."
    • Used in a Frazz comic strip, opening with a girl skipping rope while singing the rhyme, only to be reprimanded by her teacher that "beans aren't fruit." Next panel: Girl skipping rope, singing "Beans, beans, the charmed legume / eat a bunch and clear the room..." (Frazz observes that the thesaurus is there for everyone to use.)
    • A hermit's crow sings random phrases from this in the Stephen King short story "The Gunslinger". Given the author, it's creepy.
    • Time-traveler Claire Fraser teaches this one inadvertently to a bunch of 18th century Scots in Outlander.
    • From a "Dot's Poetry Corner" segment on Animaniacs: "Beans, beans, the musical fruit. The more you eat, the more they kick you off the air if you finish this poem! Making this example even odder is that Dot says "Ode To A Veggie" before doing this poem.
      • In the episode featuring the song about the bones, Yakko tells the viewers that the song they're about to sing isn't "the bean song", because the man they sung it too would give them more beans if they sang the song they were going to sing.
    • Referenced in The Lion King 1˝ (Known as "The Lion King 3: Hakuna Matata in other countries other than the USA and Canada) after Timon's song "That's All I Need". Shenzi points out there is dinner and a show (referring to Timon's musical number, and the fact that hyenas eat meerkats), and then Banzai says "And I thought beans were the only musical fruit!"
    • In Salute Your Shorts, Budnik uses the "musical fruit" and "good for your heart" verses at two separate points during a montage of auditions for the camp's production of Cinderella. Both times, Ug cuts him off before he can say the last word by shouting "Next!" off camera.
    • Sabrina the Teenage Witch: In the episode "Sabrina and the Beanstalk", while Sabrina is attempting to concoct "magic jumping beans", Salem the cat pretends to read the "magical fruit" variation from a book of spells. Sabrina interrupts him after the first line by saying "Oh grow up!".
  • London Bridge is Falling Down
    • There also is a "Hole in my Bucket"-esque version in which every successive verse was "build it up with [material]", followed by a verse about why that material wouldn't work (e.g. "Iron bars will bend and break, bend and break, bend and break...")
    • Black Butler's Drocel carried an organ grinder and sang a very creepy version. A later episode focused on one of the lesser known verses.
    • Used in a Dream Sequence in Strangers in Paradise.
    • The Animaniacs song "A Quake! A Quake!" had this song parodied as "L.A. Town Is Falling Down" towards the end of the song.
    • In the Justice League episode "Wild Cards" Joker sings a variant of this while beating up Batman. Watch here:
    ''Big old Bats has fallen down
    On the ground, mind unsound
    Big old Bats has fallen down
    I'm so happy!''

  • Miss Lucy Had A Baby / Miss Lucy Had A Steamboat (and variants);
    Miss Lucy had a steamboat
    The steamboat had a bell
    Miss Lucy went to heaven
    The steamboat went to...

    Hello, operator? Give me number nine...
    • An episode of The Simpsons has Lisa singing this while Homer listens in horror as he thinks she's going to swear, with a big sigh of relief whenever the rhyme is subverted.
    • Emilie Autumn's variant "Miss Lucy Had Some Leeches" which is about the conditions of 1840's asylums set to the same tune and dosed up on Nightmare Fuel.
    • Wendy sings a particularly filthy version in South Park.
  • The Song That Doesn't End
    "This is the song that never ends/ And it goes on and on my friends/ Some people started singing it not knowing what it was/ and now they keep on singing it forever just because—"
    Repeat ad infinitum.
  • "Ring Around the Rosy" is one of those "centuries-old" songs, dating back to at least 1790. It was not originally about dying in the black plague, but so many people think this that it might as well be anyway.
    • An alternate ending of Heathers has the title characters perform this.
    • Orson Scott Card wrote a short story in the Foundation universe, "The Originist", that showed that a recognizable version of this was around thousands of years later — and how that showed that some human communities, like "young children playing" were effectively immortal.
    • In On the Banks of Plum Creek, Nellie Oleson demands the little girls play "Ring Around the Rosy" every day at recess. No exceptions.
  • "Boa Constrictor" started as a poem by Shel Silverstein, but has made rounds as a playground song as well.
  • The novel This Perfect Day is a dystopia with a fictional Playground Song which ties into the title of the book:
    Christ, Marx, Wood and Wei,
    Led us to this perfect day.
  • "Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack/All dressed in black, black, black"
  • Creepy playground jump rope rhymes are quite popular in horror movies:
    • Probably the most famous one is the one from A Nightmare on Elm Street:
      One, two, Freddy's coming for you
      Three, four, better lock your door
      Five, six, grab your crucifix
      Seven, eight, better stay up late
      Nine, ten, never sleep again...
      • This song, Freddy's theme, is a corruption of One, Two, Buckle My Shoe. The above version is often sung at an actual playground in dream sequences before a switch to the signature boiler room that Freddy uses for his killing grounds.
    • Another lesser known one is the one from Dr. Giggles:
      This town has a doctor and his name is Rendell
      Stay away from his house 'cause he's the doctor from Hell.
      He killed all his patients, every last one,
      And cut out their hearts, purely for fun.
      So if you're from Moorehigh and you get sick
      Fall on your knees and pray you die quick.
  • In the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode "Hush", Buffy has a dream at the beginning where a young girl sings in the playground song method to foreshadow the appearance of the episode's demons.
  • A popular Japanese playground song makes an appearance in a later episode of Excel♥Saga with the lolicon doctor. The song in question is titled Kagome, Kagome, and has absolutely nothing to do with InuYasha; it is supposedly about a nightingale. English lyrics:
    kagome, kagome,
    when does the bird inside the cage come out?
    at dawn and evenings
    who is in the front of the back where a crane and turtle slipped and fell?
    • This song is also referenced in a volume of Tactics, sung by a group of children at play during a time when they're dissappearing. The main characters discuss the darker aspects of the song.
    • The song also comes up several times in Fatal Frame during the Second Night. In particular, the song comes up during a puzzle related to it, and when Blinded appears behind Miku for a final fight.
  • In Blade Runner, Roy uses bits and pieces of a counting rhyme to taunt Deckard during their final fight. It's not, strictly speaking, a playground song, but has similar formation.
  • The girls' nursery rhyme in Tin Man, "Two little princesses dancing in a row" is the backdrop to DG's dreams about The O.Z.
  • "Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg..."
  • It has a second verse:
    Crashing through the snow
    on a pair of broken skis
    rolling down the mountain
    smashing into trees!
    The snow is turning red,
    I think I'm nearly dead,
    I woke up in the hospital
    with stitches in my head!
    (Refrain)
    Jingle bells, Muk smells
    Chansey laid an egg
    Pidgeotto broke its wing
    And Hitmonchan took ballet.
    • Morgan sings this in the first-season Christmas episode of Boy Meets World, prompting Amy to teach her the correct lyrics.
    • Nicky Pike from The Baby-Sitters Club is fond of singing this on car trips, to the utter annoyance of his large family. His own variants include "Jingle bells, Santa smells, Rudolph broke his leg" and another that begins "Jingle barf", but he is cut off by his father before he can continue the latter.
  • Kissing In A Tree: [Name] and [Name] sittin' in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g.
    First comes love, then comes marriage/ Then comes the baby in the baby carriage!
    That's not all, that's not all, here comes the baby playin' basketball!
    • Better yet, "drinkin' alcohol".
    • This one appeared in Calvin and Hobbes, with Hobbes singing it about Calvin and Suzie.
    • Appeared in The Simpsons, in the episode "Lisa the Tree Hugger".
    • In Friends, after Chandler gets drunk and makes out with one of Joey's sisters, then manages to convince Joey that he's honestly interested in her:
      Joey: You and my sister sittin' in a tree!
      Chandler: Heh-heh... yup, I'm in a tree.
    • Draco and the Potters use an altered version as a chorus in "Harry and Draco Secretly Want To Make Out"
    Draco and Harry sitting in a tree, S-N-O, G-G-I-N-G
    Eddy and Spike: Double D and Twilight, sitting in a tree-
    Ed: K-I-S-S-L-M-N-O-P!
    • This was used a few times in Recess, and one episode did a parody of it:
    Various students: Vince and Prickly, standin` on the green, P-U-T-T-I-N-G!
    • Rapper Nas parodied this in the chorus of his song "K-I-S-S-I-N-G"
    ''Picture us married, you and me, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. I remember the first time, girl you and me, F-U-C-K-I-N-G.
    • In The Fusco Brothers comic strip, Axel the wolverine observes Lance and his girlfriend in their usual mood and chants:
    Lance and Gloria, sitting in a tree - A-R-G-U-I-N-G!
    • Binky does this to Arthur & Francine in Arthur, although he forgets how to spell "kissing".
    • In the most recent Robin Hood series, in one episode Robin & Marian were trapped up in a tree by the Sheriff's men. When Much Miller goes to report it to the rest of the gang, his opening words were "Robin & Marian. . .they're sitting in a tree!" That HAS to be an allusion!
  • Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divy. A kiddly divy too, wouldn't you? note 
    • Referenced in Piers Anthony's Mode series.
    • During the air raid drill in The Mouse That Roared, the people in the shelters start with "Nearer, My God, To Thee" and wind up singing "Mairzy Doats".
    • In the Looney Tunes cartoon "Brother Brat", babysitter Porky frantically consults a child psychology book with a baby's teeth clenched on his finger - he gets the useless advice "Not only will he bite your finger, a kid'll eat ivy too. Wouldn't you?"
  • Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts, marmaladed monkey meat, little dirty birdie feet! *hums the words that nobody ever remembers* Ate it without a spoon, got a straw! Slurp!
    • An alternate version says "mutilated monkey meat, French fried flamingo feet."
    • Or Stimpy's version:
    Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts / Teeny weeny birdie's feet / French fried eyeballs / Smothered in a pool of blood / And me without a - *whistle* - spoon!
    • Caddyshack groundskeeper Bill Murray chants this in his usual muttering growl as he plots to kill the gopher.
    • An episode of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends has Bloo chant this to calm down a screaming Cheese. It nearly works, but the "don't have a spoon" part gets him back to screaming.
  • "I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee . . ." As a note, most printed versions end with wiping up the squished bee, but there's a version out there with licking it up, followed by puking, followed by licking that up, and so on, literally ad nauseam.
  • "Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?"
  • The song "Asante Sana, Squash Banana" from The Lion King is a popular playground song in many parts of Africa where Swahili is spoken. The whole song translates as "Thank you very much, squash banana, You are a baboon and I am not."
  • The WWII favorite "Hitler Has Only Got One Ball", sung to the tune of Colonel Bogey. Countless variations exist - a typical example:
    Hitler has only got one ball
    The other is in the Albert Hall
    Himmler is very sim'lar
    And Goebbels has no balls at all!
  • "There was a dustbin man", to the tune of Lonnie Donegan's "My Old Mans's a Dustman":
There was a dustbin man,
who wears a dustman's hat,
he bought five thousand tickets, to watch a football match.
Fatty passed to skinny,
Skinny passed it back.
Fatty too a rotten shot and knocked the goalie flat.
Put him on a stretcher,
take him off the pitch,
Stuff his bum with [3 forgotten syllables], and pour it out his dick.
  • Scholars may debate whether "Shimmy shimmy co-co-pop" started AS a playground hit, or whether it started as a song by Doo Wop artist Little Anthony. But it has BECOME a jumprope rhyme with a number of variations, one of which Tom Hanks made famous in the film BIG ( and he still knows the words).
  • "I hate you, You hate me, Let's hang Barney from a tree, With a knife in his back and a loaded .44, No more purple dinosaur."
    • Sometimes "A knife inhis back and a loaded .44" is replaced by "With a shotgun *BOOM* Barney hits the floor".
      • Really, there's tons of variations, such as "Let's tie Barney to a tree, take out a shotgun, shoot him in the head, yay, hooray, Barney's dead."
    • Then, there's this:
    Barney was a dinosaur with no imagination/he went into a Taco Bell and we all ran away!/Barney was caught with drugs up his tail/And now because of that he now lives in jail!
    • Barney is a serious Hate Sink for school-age children.
    Tic-tac-toe
    Three in a row
    Barney got shot by a G.I. Joe
    Mama called the doctor and the doctor said,
    "Whoop, Barney's dead!"
    • There's a variation crossing Barney with the Teletubbies. "I love Po, Po loves me, Tinky Winky shot Dipsy, with a great big bang and a bullet in the head, sorry Laa-Laa, Dipsy's dead."
      • Another longer version:
    I love you, you love me. Tinky Winky killed Dipsy, with a bang and a bullet to the head, sorry Laa-Laa, Dipsy's dead.
    Laa-Laa cryed. Dipsy died. Po commited suicide. Tinky Winky did the same. Teletubbies are insane.
  • To the tune of "Joy to the World:"
Joy to the world,
The teacher's dead.
We barbecued the head.
Don't worry about the body,
We flushed it down the potty,
And round and round it goes,
And round and round it goes,
And rooound it gooes, around it goes.
Like many of these songs, it also has lots of variations, including a Barney version.
  • This was sung by Nelson Muntz on the Simpsons episode "Lisa's Date With Density".
  • "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes, bum bum bum-" (Repeat until the nearest adult(s) pop(s) a blood vessel)
    • Performed on Stanley's Dinosaur Roundup on Stanley
  • "On Top of Old Smokey":
    On top of Old Smokey
    All covered with sand
    I shot my poor teacher
    With a red rubber band
    I shot her with pleasure
    I shot her with pride
    Oh, how could I miss her?
    She's forty feet wide!
  • Then there's "...I lost my poor meatball/When somebody sneezed," some versions of which seemed to go on forever.
  • The Battle Hymn of the Republic
    My eyes have seen the glory
    of the burning of the school
    we have tortured all the teachers,
    we have broke the Golden Rule.
    We marched into his office
    and we tickled the Princible!
    Our troops go marching on!
    Glory, Glory, Halleuja,
    Teacher hit me with a ruler
    I bopped her on the beanie
    with a rotten tangerinie,
    and her teeth came marching out!
    • And to the same tune, "He jumped from forty thousand feet without a parachute [x3] / And he ain't gonna jump no mo-o-ore!"
  • Parody of "We Three Kings"
    We three kings of Orient are
    Trying to smoke a rubber cigar
    But it was loaded and exploded killing one of us
    We two kings of Orient are...
    • Another variant:
    We three kings of Orient are
    One in a taxi
    One in a car
    One on a scooter
    Blowing his hooter
    Smoking a big cigar.
    • With the chorus:
    Oh, star of wonder, star of night
    Fill my pants with dynamite
    Light the fuse and off we go
    Round the world to Jericho.
    • Heartbeat slightly modified the verse (the only part sung) to fit the period, replacing the "smoking a big cigar" with "following Ringo Starr".
  • One to the tune of the Ozzy Osbourne song "Iron Man"
    I am ice cream man
    Runnin over fat kids with my van!
    Don't care if they run
    Chasin' em down is much more fun!
    • There's also:
  • Sung to the tune of a Middle Eastern Regional Riff:
    There's a place in France
    Where the naked ladies dance
    There's a hole in the wall
    Where the men can see it all.
    • And the variant:
    There's a place on Mars
    Where the woman smoke cigars
    And the men wear bikinis
    And the children drink martinis
    Every sip they take
    Is enough to kill a snake
    When the snake is dead
    They put roses on its head
    When the roses die
    They put diamonds in its eyes
    When the diamonds fade
    They call the king of spades
    And the king of spades yells FREEZE!
  • Then there's this song:
    Deck the Halls with Gasoline
    Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
    Light a match and watch it gleam
    Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
    Watch your school burn down to ashes
    Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
    Aren't you glad we played with matches?
    Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-LA!!!
    • Bart Simpson's Guide to Life includes a version of this along with O Cannibals, O Cannibals (to the tune of O Christmas Tree) and Flakey the Leper (Frosty the Snowman)
    Decorate your father's belly,
    Fa la la la la, la la la la,
    While he's sleeping by the telly,
    Fa la la la la, la la la la.
    Jelly smeared in patterns festive,
    Fa la la, la la la, la la la,
    Makes a centerpiece suggestive,
    Fa la la la la, la la la la.
    —> Next create a yuletide bonbon,
    Fa la la la la, la la la la.
    Drip some chocolate sauce upon him,
    Fa la la la la, la la la la.
    Better chase away the pets now,
    Fa la la, la la la, la la la,
    Or your dad is X-mas dog chow,
    Fa la la la la, la la la la.
    —> Coloured lights his belly wreathing,
    Fa la la la la, la la la la,
    Blend so gaily with his breathing,
    Fa la la la la, la la la la.
    Crowning all, a star above it,
    Fa la la, la la la, la la la,
    Show the neighbors, they will love it,
    Fa la la la la, la la la la.
    —> If your dad begins to waken,
    Fa la la la la, la la la la,
    Hide the tinsel-covered bacon,
    Fa la la la la, la la la la.
    Tell him that he looks delicious,
    Fa la la, la la la, la la la,
    Run like hell, he might get vicious,
    Fa la la la la, la la la la.
    • A Fox Kids promo for Animaniacs did a parody of Deck The Halls as well:
    Deck the halls with smelly stockings!
    Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
    'Tis the season to go shopping!
    Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
    Holidays make us more loony!
    Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
    Join the fun on our cartoon-y!
    Watch us crazy Animaniacs!
  • Playschool is a long-running children's programme in Australia with a simplistic nursery-style theme song. Of course there's a gratuitously offensive version:
    There's a bear in there, and a chair as well / There's a bear in there, on an electrical chair
    There are people with games, and stories to tell / There are people with AI Ds, and hand grenades
    Open wide, come inside / Open wide, commit suicide
  • The Diarrhea Song, a very versatile song poking fun at the condition, partly popularized by the film Parenthood but also pre-dating it. The lyrics follow a rhyme scheme that can easily be changed around (When you're [doing a mundane activity] and [the symptoms of diarrhea kick in]), with a chorus of "Diarrhea *fart fart* Diarrhea" (or sometimes "Mama Mia"). Some examples:
    When you're driving in your Chevy and you feel something heavy (chorus)
    When you're sitting on the john and the toilet paper's gone (chorus)
    When you're climbing up the ladder and you feel something splatter (chorus)
  • Variations on Popeye the Sailor's theme song have been around on playgrounds for decades, possibly even dating to the 1930's when the cartoons were popular.
    I'm Popeye the Sailor Man
    I live in a garbage can
    I turned on the heater
    It chopped off my wiener
    I'm Popeye the Sailor Man!
  • 'Lizzie Borden Had An Axe' is basically a song about how the real life Lizzie Borden once took a hatchet to her father and stepmother in 1892 Fall Rivers, Massachusetts.
    Lizzie Borden took an Axe,
    And gave her mother forty whacks.
    And when she saw what she had done,
    She gave her father forty-one.
    Close the door!
    Lock it! Latch it!
    Here comes Lizzie
    With a brand-new hatchet!
  • There's the British classic (going back at least to between the world wars)
    While shepherds washed their socks by night
    All seated by the tub
    A bar of [brand name] soap came down
    And splashed them all with mud.
    Another variant
    While shepherds watched their flocks by night
    A watching MTV
    An angel of the Lord came down
    And switched to BBC.
  • Then there's this, sung to the tune of the My Little Pony G3 theme:
    My Little Pony/All skinny and bony/Went to the circus/And blew up the act!
  • Here's another popular one, named "Cinderella". There are a lot of variants, like these four:
    Cinderella,
    Dressed in yella,
    Went upstairs to meet her fella,
    How many times did she kiss him? (1, 2, 3, 4, 5 etc.)

    Cinderella,
    Dressed in yella,
    Went to powder her face,
    How many times did she powder? (1, 2, 3, 4, 5 etc.)

    Cinderella,
    Dressed in yella,
    Went upstairs to kiss her fella,
    On her way up her bladder busted,
    How many people were disgusted? (1, 2, 3, 4, 5 etc.)

    Cinderella,
    Dressed in blue,
    Who's going to the ball with you? (A, B, C, D, E etc.)

    Cinderella,
    Dressed in yella
    Went upstairs to kiss her fella
    By mistake, she kissed a snake,
    How many doctors did it take? (1, 2, 3, 4, 5 etc)

  • "Inky Binky Bonky" is a song usually used to determine who gets to do something first (like Eenie Meenie Miney Moe).
    Inky binky bonky
    Daddy had a donkey
    Donkey died, daddy cried,
    Inky binky bonky.

  • The little hymn "All things bright and beautiful" has not been spared:
    All things bright and beautiful,
    all creatures great and small,
    all things wise and wonderful,
    All things dull and uggerly
    All creatures short and squat
    All things rude and na-a-sty
    The Lord God made the lot

  • The Farmer In The Dell could be considered this, as like many playground songs, it has many variations, and it's a game commonly played by kids.
    • There is a board game called "Hi-Ho the Cherry-O", referencing this song.
    • Preformed on Barney & Friends as "Family In The Dell".
    • One U.S. Acres segment had Roy sing part of this song, modified to be about the chickens the weasel was stealing. "The rooster takes a hen, the rooster takes a hen, hi-ho the derry-o, the rooster takes a hen!" Ironically, this was in the same episode which had a "99 Bottles Of Beer" reference in the first Garfield segment.

  • There's also this, sung to the tune of the English alphabet song:
    A, B, C, D, E, F, G,
    Gummy bears are chasing me,
    One is red, one is blue,
    One is chewing on my shoe,
    Now I'm running for my life,
    Because the red one has a knife!

  • In the Benjamin Britten opera Albert Herring, three Cheerful Children sing this while bouncing a ball against the door of the greengrocery shop, clapping their hands three times in between choruses:
    Bounce me high,
    Bounce me low,
    Bounce me up to Jericho!
    Bounce me slow,
    Bounce me quick,
    Bounce me to Arithmetick!

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