Film: Troll 2

Yes. Yes, it was.

"They're eating her. And then they're going to eat me. OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD."

Troll 2 (originally titled Goblins) is a 1990 In Name Only sequel to the 1986 B-movie, Troll. Note that throughout the movie, not a single troll appears in the film, nor is the word "troll" spoken once. There are two different films called Troll 3, and neither have much to do with either Troll or Troll 2.

Here's the movie in a nutshell:

The Waits family goes to a village called Nilbog, who are unaware that the townsfolk are actually trolls goblins; specifically, 'vegetarians', who would try to get their vic... guests, to eat their all-vegetable food, which would turn their victims into a "half man, half plant" troll goblin food. It is up to the Waits' son, Joshua, who can communicate with his dead grandpa, Seth, to save his family from the trolls goblins before his family becomes troll Goblin Chow.

Troll 2 has been dubbed the "Best Worst Movie Ever Made" by its fans and has gained a cult following over the years. Little Joshua grew up and made a documentary about the movie and its fan base.

A planned sequel titled Troll 2, Part 2 is currently in Development Hell due to lack of funding.

This film provides examples of:

  • All Trolls Are Different
    • More like "All Troll Movies Are Different." The only real connection between the three "primary" Troll movies is a weird focus upon plants; Troll 1's troll turned people into plant-pods to spawn more trolls, Troll 2's goblins turn humans to plants (and then eat those plants), and Troll 3 (the one also called "Creepers") was about killer radioactive tree roots.
  • Alternate DVD Commentary: Unsurprisingly, it's gotten the Rifftrax treatment.
  • Always Chaotic Evil / For the Evulz
    "That's the point. Goblins don't need to justify their cruel acts. They're evil creatures."
  • Ambiguously Bi: Creedence, who describes Holly as 'appetizing'. She probably just wants to eat people, but the implication is there.
  • And I Must Scream: Arnold is unable to move or speak when he is turned into a plant until the bark is pulled off his face. Rather than trying to dig him out of the planter his feet are stuck in, his friend decides to just try to drag the planter to safety.
  • Artifact Title
  • Aside Glance: Credence does a very slooooow and overdramatic one of these.
  • As You Know: When Mrs. Waits is talking to Joshua at the beginning, she feels to need to mention that Grandpa Seth was her father.note 
  • Awesome McCoolname: Credence Leonore Gielgud (of ancient Druid origins!). Her ancestors came from Stonehenge!
    • Sheriff Gene Freak.
  • Badass Grandpa: Being dead doesn't stop Grandpa from stopping time, throwing lightning bolts, chopping goblins up with an axe or making molotov cocktails.
  • Baleful Polymorph: Arnold becomes part-plant. He still maintains most of his human properties, even if his abilities as a human becomes limited, like bark growing over his mouth and his legs grown stuck into a plant pot, but he definitely still has enough human traits to be able to be aware of his surroundings, and once the bark covering his mouth is removed, speak. It's pretty hilarious to see him being pulled out from the house stiff as a stick by the pot.
  • Big Bad: Creedence Leonore Gielgud.
  • Big Good: Grandpa Seth who has the creepiest smile for a Big Good.
  • Big "OMG!": And watch for a fly that appears on Arnold's forehead between cuts.
  • Body Horror
  • Camp: Oh, god, the camp. There are two things people use as the best example for camp: Silver Age Batman and this.
  • Comically Missing the Point: The trolls goblins themselves, who claim to be vegetarians despite the fact that they apparently feed by killing and eating animals - the human animal, specifically. One exchange implies that he real reason why they don't eat meat is because they're incapable of digesting it (which suggests a more appropriate term would be "herbivore"), rather than any ethical concerns. Of course, since the film was designed to be a Take That against vegetarians, it does undermine that intention quite severely, since only a tiny minority of vegetarians stay off of meat because of health reasons rather than ethical ones. On the other hand, the sermon their minister gives seems to imply they find carnivory somewhat abhorrent, which seems to be indicative of an extreme case of Blue and Orange Morality.
  • Can Only Move the Eyes: Arnold, when he's paralyzed by Creedence, and later gets turned into a plant.
  • Cassandra Truth: Joshua telling his dad about how the people were really goblins who wanted to turn him into a plant so they could eat him.
  • Corrupt Hick: Goblins in disguise.
  • Cruel Twist Ending: The ending seems to have been an attempt at this. It was a bit too nonsensical to really be effective.
  • Dark Is Not Evil: Grandpa Seth, who as a spirit has a "kingdom of shadows" and is generally associated with poor lighting. That said, "not evil" might be a bit of an exaggeration...
  • Dead Person Conversation: The very first scene.
  • Diabolus Ex Machina: The Goblins who had been destroyed somehow comes back to Joshua's home to eat his mom.
  • Don't Make Me Take My Belt Off: Spoofed. The dad initially seems like he's going to beat Joshua, but instead tightens his belt.
  • Double Aesop:
    • Family-Unfriendly Aesop:
    • Vegetarians are evil. Rossella Drudi (the woman who wrote the script, and director Claudio Fergasso's wife) apparently got the idea by being annoyed at how many of her friends had recently become vocally vegetarian. Take that as you will.
    • If you want to have sex get rid of your friends. There's a really weird idea running through the movie that Elliot and Holly can only be happy - and her family will only accept him - if he breaks all other ties to everyone else in the world. The intention was probably just that everyone thinks his friends are morons and he's better off without them (which is true), but this is very poorly conveyed to the audience.
    • Fantastic Aesop: Only the power of goodness can defeat the goblins. Of course, a double decker baloney sandwich always helps.
  • Downer Ending
  • Dull Surprise: Arnold's reaction to being turned into a plant.
  • Eaten Alive: See page qoute.
  • Enter Stage Window
  • Erotic Eating: The scene with Creedence and the corncob was probably intended to be this. In-universe it seems to work; to the viewer...not so much.
  • Fanservice: Creedence in Hot Witch mode. Yowza.
  • Forgotten Fallen Friend: By the end, Elliot doesn't seem to learn what happened to his friends...neither does he seem to care.
  • Hollywood Darkness: When the family first arrives in Nilbog, Michael comments that the stores are closed because everyone's gone to bed for the night; the scene looks like it takes place at noon.
  • Human Resources: It's easy to miss it because the sound-mixing is poorly done, but Arnold gets turned into a milkshake and fed to Drew.
  • Incoming Ham: "This is myyyyyyyyyyyy house!"
  • Ironic Echo: "Do you want some, Joshua?"
  • It Makes Sense in Context: The ghost of the grandfather stops time to allow the protagonist to urinate on his family's dinner.
  • It May Help You on Your Quest: Grandpa Seth hands Joshua a double-decker baloney sandwich in the last 5 minutes of the film, saying "take this, and only use it when you really need it".
  • Kubrick Stare: An epic one by Don Packard at the end of his scene. It helps he is schizophrenic and off his meds during the scene. (See Real Life Writes The Plot below.)
  • Landmark of Lore: The goblins' source of power is the Stonehenge Magic Stone.
  • Large Ham: They may be vegetarians, but Creedence, the General Store Owner, and the Preacher are pretty hammy.
    • Hamminess in Joshua's family seems to come from the father's side, although he honestly gives what may be the most believable performance in the film.
    You can't piss on hospitality. I WON'T ALLOW IT!
  • Magic Countdown: 30 seconds of frozen time last for close to a minute of screen time.
  • Makes Just as Much Sense in Context: Whoa boy. Just to start with, the scene where the grandfather stops time was never set up, and this ability was never spoken of again; it'd be a Big Lipped Alligator Moment, except that it's crucial to the plot.
    • The corn scene. Why was it there?
  • Man on Fire: Preacher Bells after Grandpa Seth ignites the Molotov Cocktail he confiscated.
  • Ms. Fanservice: Creedence. Attempted with Holly, but she's a gawky sixteen year-old, so it's weird.
  • Names to Run Away From Really Fast: "I'm Sheriff Gene Freak."
  • New Powers as the Plot Demands: Grandpa Seth can come back from the dead, freeze time, and summon the power of lightning, whenever it is convenient to do so.
    • Likewise, it's established that everyone focusing their goodness on the Stonehenge Magic Stone will kill all the goblins. Except apparently some of them survive for the Cruel Twist Ending.
  • Nonindicative Name
  • Not Using the T Word: They're goblins, not trolls.
  • Obviously Evil: None of the goblins disguised as humans make any attempt to act non-suspicious.
  • Oddly Named Sequel: The proposed follow-up Troll 2: Part 2.
  • Our Ghosts Are Different: Grandpa Seth, as noted above, doesn't seem to obey any particular rules as to what he can do or how he can appear in the mortal realm. He can shoot lightning, stop time, appear corporeal or incorporeal and bring back various weapons from the afterlife, including an axe and a molotov cocktail. Really, he could just kill all the goblins himself.
  • Our Goblins Are Different
  • Planimal: The goblins turn people into edible plantmen, because they are vegetarians.
  • Plot Hole: Unsurprisingly there are several, mostly in regards to characters having information they shouldn't have or going places they should have no reason to go to. For instance, why did Joshua wander into the barn where the sermon was being held?
    • A minor one is that fairly early on, Grandpa Seth tells Joshua that Nilbog is "the kingdom of the goblins". A few scenes later, Joshua is astounded to realize 'Nilbog' is 'goblin' spelled backwards, and that, therefore, "this is their kingdom!"
  • Posthumous Character: Grandpa Seth
  • Real Life Writes the Plot: Don Packard's performance as the demented, creepy, slightly schizophrenic store owner? Yeah... at the time of this "performance", Don Packard was living at an insane asylum, being treated for schizophrenia. He was on a day pass when he was found by the producers, cast in the part, and filmed all his lines all in one afternoon... and then he returned to the asylum to continue his treatment. Packard himself says of his performance, "That's not me acting... I was really that crazy." He was also, by his own admission, baked out of his mind. He has since been able to control his schizophrenia through medication.
  • Sacred Hospitality: You can't piss on it. I WON'T ALLOW IT!
  • Satiating Sandwich: "A double-decker bologna sandwich!"
  • Sdrawkcab Name: "Nilbog! It's goblin spelled backwards! This is their kingdom!".
  • Selective Obliviousness: While his family catches every little thing Joshua does, they don't find anything the least bit strange about the Obviously Evil people they're surrounded by.
  • Sinister Minister: Yeah, so it turns out that goblins are evangelical Protestants.
  • Spirit Advisor: Grandpa Seth, when he isn't taking matters into his own hands and dispensing justice to the goblins with his nebulously-defined ghost powers.
  • Stuffed into the Fridge: The goblins eat the mom and then offer some to Joshua. That's cold.
  • Thematic Series: The Troll series is actually a series of unrelated movies that were never meant to be sequels. After the first film, this movie was made with the original, and more appropriate name, Goblins. It was given the name Troll 2 in hopes of making more money. As noted above, two different movies were released as Troll 3 (along with their original titles) and neither had anything to do with trolls or the first movie. The only themes here seems to be that they were originally unrelated movies and they're usually considered to be terrible.
  • There's No "B" in Movie: The guys are all sitting around watching a movie about a crystal-stealing gorilla with rocket powers. Apparently, this is a real film.
  • Time Stands Still: Grandpa Seth can freeze time.
  • To Serve Man: The goblins act nice to the Waits, but plan to turn them into green vegetable jelly and eat them.
  • Town with a Dark Secret: Nilbog.
  • Veganopia: Subverted in that this probably the first ever depiction of an outright evil vegan society.
  • Weaksauce Weakness: Double decker baloney sandwiches are not an impressive weakness for the Goblins to have.
  • Weirdness Censor: Everyone from out of town (except Joshua, and that's probably only because he was forewarned) seems to believe the patently bizarre mannerisms of the townsfolk is folksiness.
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: Brent and Drew both disappear abruptly from the film without explanation. It's implied that the goblins ate Drew, after he ate a sandwich from Sheriff Gene Freak (yes, that's his name), drank a bit of Nilbog milk ("High in vitamin content!") and then was presumably forcefed a milkshake made of Arnold. Brent was supposed to be transformed into popcorn, but it was so badly executed it just looked like he had some very weird sex and then goes to sleep.
  • You Can Leave Your Hat On: The very song is used in the infamous Corn Scene. Well, a lousy Casiotone version, but still.
  • You Keep Using That Word: The goblins are supposedly 'vegetarians'...who, rather than, say, growing plants and eating them, turn people into plant-things and then eat them. How this is different from just eating meat is never really explained. Presumably, they're vegetarians for health reasons, not ethical ones. Once a person is turned enough toward being a plant, they can be healthily consumed, apparently. Must be less cholesterol. Or they're oathbound against consuming flesh. But for magical, possibly-fey creatures, health concerns and oathbinding might not be so different.
  • You Make Me Sic: Subverted.
    Seth: These evil creatures can transform themselves into flesh-and-blood people whenever and however they want.
    Joshua: You're making a mistake, Grandpa. You said they can. You should have said they could... or what kind of fairy tale is it?
    Seth: They can! They can! Goblins still exist! Your Grandpa Seth is telling you!
  • You Will Know What to Do: The double-decker baloney sandwich.

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