"You can't piss on hospitality! I won't allow it!"
— Michael Waits
"They're eating her! And then they're going to eat me! Oh my GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD[sh?]!"
Elliott: What's wrong with having friends?
Holly: Nothing, if you want to remain a virgin for a life. You take them to bed with you too, and I don't believe in group sex.
"We need some time for some things to happen!"
— Preacher Bells
"Bad movies, they come and go: They walk up to your porch, hunch down and take a shit right in front of your door. And it stinks! But it's not gonna be there forever — the rain will carry it away, the neighborhood dog will smear it on a bagel, or I'll just hire someone to clean it up. That's how I feel about some of these movies: They stink up my life for 90 minutes, and I have to fumigate my eye sockets, but I don't really think about 'em too much after that. As I've come to realize, though, not every movie is Troll 2."
"How obviously, inescapably bad does a movie have to be before the producers say, “Well, maybe we can sell it as a sequel to this other picture that nobody liked, and that didn’t make much money…?” Calling that bottom-feeding creates an altogether too elevated impression of the commercial ambitions behind the project!"
— Scott "El Santo" Ashlin, 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting