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The man, the myth, the legend.
Played by Tommy Wiseau

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha"

A wealthy Banker, the future husband of Lisa and Mark's Best Friend.

  • All-Loving Hero: Pays Denny's tuition and rent, lavishes his girlfriend with gifts, brings in lots of clients to his bank, and just cares so much about everybody. Everyone praises Johnny, even those who betray him.
    "He's a wonderful person!"
  • Angrish: During his Anger Montage, Johnny screams like this.
  • Ate His Gun: Shoots himself in despair after he locks himself in the titular room and trashes the place.
  • Author Avatar: And painfully obvious at that.
  • Betty and Veronica: The Betty to Mark's Veronica for Lisa's Archie
  • Butter Face: A rare male example. As his sex scenes show, Johnny is actually in pretty respectable shape. Shame that he happens to have Tommy Wiseau's face.
  • Catchphrase:
    • Oh hai, X.
    • That's the idea!
    • "Don't worry about that/it." Says this to things people would typically worry about, with variations.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: Mainly due to being played by the eccentric and overly dramatic Tommy Wiseau.
  • Cold Ham: Tommy Wiseau manages to overreact and underreact simultaneously. It's especially noticeable when he's trashing his house, throwing things around and screaming in pain while still putting no emotion into the actual dialogue.
  • Comedic Sociopathy: Mark once knew this girl who had a dozen guys...
    Mark: One of them found out about it... beat her up so bad she ended up at a hospital on Guerrero Street.
    Johnny: Ha ha ha. What a story, Mark.
  • Corpsing: Greg Sestero and script supervisor Sandy Schklair couldn't stop Wiseau from laughing during the takes where Mark tells Johnny about his friend being beaten by her boyfriend.
  • Despair Event Horizon: Johnny crosses it and commits suicide at the end of the movie.
  • Driven to Suicide: Johnny kills himself because Lisa has been horrible to him but is still relying on him for cash, whilst cheating on him with his best friend. He finds all this out on his BIRTHDAY!
  • Dull Surprise: "I did not hit her, it's not true. It's bullshit, I did not hit her! I did NAAAGHT... Oh hi, Mark." Sestero joked about doing yoga to perfect Mark's boringness.
  • Extreme Doormat: Despite knowing Lisa is cheating on him and is spreading false rumors that he is abusive towards her, Johnny refuses to confront her on her lies and infidelity. Likewise, he also refuses to confront Mark despite suspecting him of being the one sleeping with Lisa. It takes the two of them getting intimate right in front of him for him to take action, and even then it's Lisa who ends their relationship.
  • Eyes Always Shut: His eyes are usually halfway closed for whatever reason.
  • Famous Last Words: "God, forgive me"
  • Flowers of Romance: He buys roses for Lisa so much he's the flower shop's favourite customer.
  • Funny Foreigner: Johnny, and Tommy Wiseau himself, unintentionally. Obscurus Lupa described Wiseau as "the French Borat, if he didn't know he was the French Borat", while described his voice in the film as "Borat trying to do an impression of Christopher Walken playing a mental patient." Made even funnier because in Real Life Tommy Wiseau claims to be from New Orleans. Turns out that he's likely from Poland, which was later confirmed by Rick Harper, who researched Tommy's background for his documentary Room Full of Spoons.
  • Hong Kong Dub: A lot of his lines obviously don't match up with his mouth movements.
  • The Hyena: "Ts-Hahahahahahahahaha." He even laughs at a story about domestic violence.
  • Hypocritical Humor:
    • "I cannot tell you, it's confidential. Anyway, how is your sex life?"
    • Johnny begins a scene visibly (?) frustrated over the accusations of him hitting Lisa and gets upset when Mark even asks him about it. In this very same scene, Mark tells him about a woman who ended up in a hospital as a result of domestic violence and finds this amusing.
  • Informed Ability:
    • Johnny is supposed to be an excellent banker, despite his limited English and vampiric appearance.
    • Claudette, Lisa's mum, explains many great things about Johnny to (ahem, us) Lisa that we see no evidence for.
    • The original screenplay involves much more expository dialogue about Johnny's many, many, many talents; including several masters degrees, several black belts in various martial arts, and a PHD. They don't come in handy.
  • Informed Flaw: Lisa complains that Johnny is "boring" the first time she talks with her mother. Johnny has a number of flaws (probably unintentionally so), but being boring definitely isn't one of them.
  • Informed Kindness: He's ostensibly an emotionally fragile Nice Guy who buys Lisa red roses often enough to be the flower shop lady's favorite customer, and would do anything for Lisa and seems to only want to make her happy. He also pays for Denny's college and tuition without asking for anything in return, and is constantly admired and praised by everyone (except Lisa) wherever he goes. This shilling is kind of undermined by some of the other kinks in his character, such as laughing at domestic abuse that landed someone in the hospital, his covert taping of Lisa to determine whether or not she was having an affair instead of coming out and asking her about it, shoving Lisa onto a couch at one point and later getting into a physical confrontation with Mark in front of all his party guests, and his destructive meltdown at the end where he completely trashes his apartment.
  • Large Ham: Somehow manages to overlap this with Dull Surprise.
  • Looks Like Cesare: Black hair, and an appearance that suggests he doesn't go outside much.
  • Mentor: Johnny is Denny's foster father in all but legal status. As such, Denny comes to him for advice, which Johnny is happy to give. Though given the writing, said advice tends to be... bizarre.
    Denny: So what sort of movie are we gonna see?
    Johnny: Well, we'll see... Denny, don't plan too much, it may not come out right.
  • Me's a Crowd: One of the few things we know about the planned musical is that Wiseau wants ten Johnnies on stage at once, either singing or playing football.
  • OOC Is Serious Business: Towards the end, he drops his accent and calmly asks Mark to leave. This precedes the ensuing fight.
  • Parental Substitute: To Denny, a neighboring high school student whom Johnny financially supports and "loves like a son".
  • Spared by the Adaptation: University College Dublin Dramsoc adapted the movie into a play that ended with Johnny singing "I Will Survive".
  • The Teetotaler: Supposedly. He gives up a token resistance to drinking, goes along with it after Lisa finally brings out out the whiskey-vodka, and won't stop. Although he appeared to drink champagne at the party, so there's another plot hole for you.
  • Too Good for This Sinful Earth: "I'm fed up with this WARULD!"
  • Took a Level in Jerkass: Towards the end of the movie, starting with the fight between him and Mark as he discovers that Lisa is cheating on him during his birthday party.
  • Unexplained Accent: Has a thick accent, yet no one ever mentions it or where Johnny came from. The closest Johnny comes is recalling when he arrived in San Francisco, and problems with cashing a cheque from an out-of-state bank. Wiseau's original nationality was the subject of much scrutiny, as Wiseau makes contradictory claims to be from either France or New Orleans. A failed lawsuit from Wiseau regarding a documentary on The Room eventually forced him to reveal that he is Polish-American, with relatives in Louisiana.
  • Unstoppable Rage: The scene where Lisa leaves him, causing him to go into a rage and trash his entire apartment, including mustering the strength to throw a massive CRT television (those things are heavy!) straight out the window.note 
  • Verbal Tic:
    • "Huh?", which he uses at the endings of some of his sentences.
    • Also a recurring nervous giggle.
  • What the Hell Is That Accent?: Especially funny since it's Tommy Wiseau's natural accent. Turns out that (as was long suspected by internet scuttlebutt) Tommy was born in Poland, and (as revealed in The Disaster Artist) spent some time living in France and New Orleans, and his accent is likely a bizarre combination of all three.
  • You No Take Candle: Slips into this at times, most notably "Everybody betray me! I fed up with this world!"

"I don't want to talk about it."
Played by Juliette Danielle

Johnny's future wife. She begins an affair with Mark; Johnny's best friend, out of boredom.

  • Ambiguous Disorder: Downplayed. She shows many sociopathic tendencies but none of them are specific to any known disorder. It's left ambiguous if she actually does have some kind of social disorder or if her behavior is the result of her mother's morally dodgy advice and parenting, though Peter seems to think it's the former.
  • Anger Born of Worry: She flips out on Denny when she finds out about his situation with Chris-R, and is clearly worried about him. At the end of the scene, she assures Denny that she and Johnny are his friends and they'll help him.
  • Beauty Is Bad: She's as pretty as she is reprehensible.
  • Big Bad: Drives the plot by TEARING JOHNNY APART!
  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: She seems nice, at first. Then we find out that she's cheating on her loving future spouse because she's bored with him. As the film goes on, it's implied that this is the result of Claudette's parental advice, which becomes progressively immoral throughout.
  • Brainless Beauty: Her schemes aren't very well thought out.
  • Catchphrase:
    • "I don't want to talk about it"
    • "Don't worry about it."
  • Character Shilling: Many characters will stop whatever momentum the movie has in order to talk about how great Lisa is.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: She's cheating on Johnny because she thinks he's boring.
  • Dude Magnet: Besides Johnny and Mark, even Denny was secretly in love with her. Not to mention the guy at the party whose sole purpose seems to be saying that "Lisa looks hot tonight".
  • Dumb Blonde: In a way. Most notably not caring about the fact that if she continues cheating, she's going to destroy Johnny, despite Steven's serious words to her.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: She is genuinely shocked to learn that her mother only married her father because he had money and that she never really loved him; even her own cheating is done on the grounds that she isn't actually in love with Johnny despite him having money, and she is initially uncomfortable to hear her mother advise her to marry Johnny regardless of her feelings for him simply because he is financially secure.
  • Everyone Loves Blondes: Blonde, love interest of The Hero, and resident Dude Magnet.
  • Femme Fatale: Is conceived as a breathtakingly beautiful woman who cheats on her fiancé with his best friend, then flat-out lies about being abused by her fiancé to justify breaking off the engagement, but she falls victim to the Wiseau brand of Narm.
  • For the Evulz: Lisa is originally just interested in Johnny's cash, but after a while she starts to flaunt her affair with Mark, and lies to Johnny about being pregnant just to "make things interesting".
  • Freudian Excuse: her mother has divorced several times (including Lisa's father), implying that Lisa grew up in a dysfunctional household. Her mother also definitely has breast cancer. Downplayed/subverted in the sense that Lisa doesn't seem too bothered by any of this (though she is genuinely unnerved to learn that her mother only married her father for money rather than love).
  • The Gadfly: Is originally just interested in Johnny's cash, but after a while she starts to flaunt her affair with Mark, and lies to Johnny about being pregnant just to "make things interesting".
  • Gaslighting: Attempts it on Johnny, getting him drunk and then telling him that he hit her. But he did naht hit her, he did NAHT!
  • Head-Turning Beauty: Barely a scene goes by where someone doesn't comment on her attractiveness.
  • Informed Attractiveness: Lisa is regarded as incredibly beautiful and irresistible by the men.
  • It's All About Me: Case in point, after her future spouse commits suicide, her first action is to tell the guy she was cheating on him with (who also happened to be his best friend) that they can finally be together. Mark rightfully calls her out on this.
  • Jerkass: Cheats on her loving future spouse with his best friend because she's bored with him, was implied to have just been using him for money in the first place, lies about him abusing her to justify it and tells his best friend that now there is nothing to keep them apart after Johnny kills himself. At the end, Mark finally grows a spine and tells her off for it.
  • Lack of Empathy: Has no moral qualms about lying and cheating and she is completely unmoved when her mother tells she has breast cancer.
  • Large Ham: Perhaps not as obscene as Johnny or Chris-R, but she has her moments.
    Lisa: "What kind of drugs did you take!?!?!"
    Denny: "It's nothing like that...!"
  • Manipulative Bitch: She is actually called "manipulative" a couple of times in the film. She no longer wants to marry Johnny, so she has an affair with Mark, then gets Johnny drunk, but turns around and falsely accuses him of hitting her.
  • Pet the Dog: Despite her nastiness, Lisa seems to genuinely care for Denny.
  • Satellite Love Interest: As the girlfriend, her scenes are limited to having sex and sitting on a pedestal. As the antagonist, she's the axis of the whole film.
  • Smug Snake: Sure Lisa, be all secretive and paper thin with your lies and cheating. Johnny will never find out.
  • The Sociopath: Peter speculates that she is one based on her behaviour. Although her characterization is so inconsistent that it's unclear if she really is.
  • Stupid Evil: Lisa decides that the best place to have her romps with Mark is within her and Johnny's own home...even when there's an entire party of people around. Naturally, the two of them are caught.
  • Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: More like future wife as everyone likes to point out.
  • The Unfair Sex: Inverted; everyone acts like the affair is her fault while downplaying Mark's role. Though she was the one throwing it in people's faces.
  • Ungrateful Bitch: Lampshaded by Johnny after she calls him "little prick" and tells him that she put up with him for seven years.
    Johnny: I treat you like a princess and you stab me in the back. I love you and I did anything for you to just please you and now you betrayed me.

"Leave your stupid comments in your pocket!"
Played by Greg Sestero

Johnny's best friend. He begins an affair with Lisa; Johnny's future wife.

  • Heterosexual Life-Partners: He and Johnny are best friends and we know this because the characters remind us of this every five seconds.
  • I'm a Man; I Can't Help It: He seems incapable of resisting Lisa's advances, even after protesting how much it's betraying Johnny.
  • Important Haircut: Subverted. He shaves his beard and everyone makes a big deal out of it, but it doesn't signal a change in character.
  • Karma Houdini: For some reason, Mark is blameless when Lisa cheats on Johnny with him — all four times. When Johnny commits suicide, Mark is indignant at her. It takes two to tango, and he tangoed four times knowingly with his best friend's steady girlfriend and fiancée. His disgust at the very end actually made sense because Lisa was actually coming on to him OVER JOHNNY'S CORPSE. His reaction could be seen as a My God, What Have I Done? moment.
  • The Lancer: He's Johnny's best friend.
  • Marijuana Is LSD: Becomes uncharacteristically violent and belligerent after taking just a couple hits from a joint.
  • Mr. Fanservice: Mark's a good-looking guy and he knows it, wearing a couple sleeveless shirts and a form-fitting longsleeve. The actor who plays Mark, Greg Sestero, is called "Sestosterone" for a reason. He is—let's face it—a very handsome man. He worked as a model for Gucci and Ferré before starting his acting career.
  • Never My Fault: Mark apparently refuses to accept responsibility for sleeping with Lisa knowing she was in a relationship, or for accidentally driving Johnny to suicide, instead putting all the blame on Lisa both times. Probably because Lisa convinced him to begin with, but it was still out of his own choice.
  • Oblivious to Hints: On almost a spiritual level. You'd think that Mark would sort of get the hint as to what Lisa wants from him the third time he is unwittingly seduced by her.
    Mark (after Lisa leads him upstairs by the hand and holds him close): "What's going on here?"
  • Pretty Boy: Especially after he shaves. Johnny even calls him a "babyface".
  • The Reveal: Mark shows up at the apartment where Johnny, Denny, and Peter have been waiting for him in tuxedos, wearing one just as well...and shaven. It is one of the most dramatic, bizarre twists of the movie.
  • The Stoner: A hilariously ill-written variation. See Marijuana Is LSD above.
  • Took a Level in Jerkass: Throughout most of the film, Mark is torn up about his affair with Lisa, and worried about potentially ruining his friendship with Johnny. But during Johnny's birthday party, he suddenly becomes angry and abrasive towards Johnny and is more than happy to be openly intimate with Lisa.
  • Tuckerization: Attempted. According to The Disaster Artist, Tommy named Mark after the lead actor of The Talented Mr. Ripley "Mark Damon". Hilariously, there is an actual actor whose name is indeed Mark Damon.
  • The Unfair Sex: Inverted; everyone acts like the affair is entirely Lisa's fault. Yes, she may have been the one who seduced him to begin with, but he still went with it anyway.

Played by Philip Haldiman

A teen(?) under the care of Johnny, who pays for his school tuition and rent.

  • '90s Hair: In The Oughties.
  • Ambiguous Disorder: Seems ignorant of social norms and generally acts much younger than his apparent age (roughly 16-18), at one point leaping into bed with Johnny and Lisa as they are about to have sex. In an interview, Wiseau admitted that Denny is "retarded, a little bit", but the actor was never informed of this.
  • Compressed Vice: His drug dealings with Chris-R are brought up once and then never again afterwards.
  • Everyone Has Standards: For all his strange behavior, he's upset enough about Johnny's suicide to lash out at Lisa and Mark for probably having something to do with it.
  • Kid-Appeal Character: The only kid-like character in the movie (he is 18 years old but looks and acts much younger). Not that kids are even supposed to be seeing this movie, which is rated R, making him even more inexplicable.
  • Kiddie Kid: To a degree. He keeps trying to go upstairs with Johnny and Lisa when he knows they're going to have sex, and presumably wants to join in, then follows them upstairs and jumps on the bed. He also talks about how he's "in love" with Lisa like a 7-year old, and fawns over her to a creepy effect.
  • Nice Guy: While his behavior is quite unusual, he makes up for it by being the only character in the movie that isn't an amoral asshole.
  • No Social Skills: He admits to liking to watch Johnny and Lisa engage in foreplay, which is, to put it lightly, not something you should mention in polite conversation.
  • Phrase Catcher: "Oh hai, Denny!"
  • Precision F-Strike: Against Claudette. "You're not my fucking mother!"
  • Precocious Crush: Has one on Lisa.
  • Tagalong Kid: Denny doesn't have much importance to the plot.
  • Third Wheel: Hangs around Lisa and Johnny while the two want to be alone.

"Everything goes wrong all at once. Nobody wants to help me. And I'm dying."
Played by Carolyn Minnott

Lisa's mother and a selfish, greedy, awful person in general.

  • Anger Born of Worry: She tears into Denny after she discovers that he was nearly killed by a drug dealer that he owed money to, though she seems to care for Denny's well being in the end.
  • Audience Surrogate: Probably unintentional, but she asks questions the viewers are probably wondering, such as asking "What are these characters doing here?" when she walks in on Mike and Michelle making out, and asking Denny numerous questions about his relationship with Chris-R (none of which are ever answered).
  • Brutal Honesty: She flat-out admits to Lisa that she hated her ex-husband, who happens to be Lisa's father.
  • Does Not Like Men: "All men are assholes. Men and women use and abuse each other all the time. There's nothing wrong with it. Marriage has nothing to do with love."
  • Evil All Along: Understated, but a definite development: Claudette is for the majority of the film Lisa's voice of reason, but in their biggest talk about Johnny, Claudette reveals she only married Lisa's father for the money, thinks abuse of men and women is the norm, and doesn't give a damn about Lisa's happiness, so long as she marries Johnny for his wealth.
  • Gold Digger: Lisa's mother guiltlessly, but only occasionally, insists that Lisa take advantage of Johnny for financial reasons, as she seems to have done with her previous husbands. She gets in on the action by trying to bilk the down payment on a house out of Johnny. She has a tendency to touch her finger to Lisa's nose in an awkward facsimile of maternal tenderness.
  • Greater-Scope Villain: Probably unintentionally. It is implied Lisa's immoral attitude stems from Claudette, as the mother discloses a clear disregard for love. Michelle alludes to this when she claims Lisa is acting like her mother in being manipulative.
  • Hypocritical Humour: She states in one sentence how much she dislikes men, and states in the next sentence that men and women exploit each other.
  • Major Injury Underreaction: She is really casual about her breast cancer.
  • Meta Guy: She actually refers to Mike and Michelle as "characters", wonders why they're in the story (just like we are), and makes some other comments that just happen to be the same thing the audience is thinking (pointing out the Dramatic Irony of Lisa's claim about Johnny getting drunk, then later Lampshading the absurdity of Lisa bringing up a topic she doesn't want to talk about). It's not intentional, but she sure seems like she knows that she's a fictional character in a ludicrous film.
  • The Mentor: The closest thing this movie has to one. Naturally, she's very horrible at it.
  • Only Sane Woman: She may be an immoral, self-absorbed hypochondriac, but she's also the only character in this movie who seems even remotely aware of how absurd the plot is.
  • Pet the Dog: She's clearly concerned about Denny after the Chris-R incident, showing that she's not completely heartless.
  • Pragmatic Villainy: She wants Lisa to marry and be faithful to Johnny so that she can live off a stable life with him. This ends up with an extreme case of Villain Has a Point: If Lisa had listened to her mother, it would have been for the better for everyone involved! Johnny wouldn't have committed suicide, he and Mark would still be friends, Denny would still receive college tuition, Lisa would, again, live a good life, and the flower shop would still have their favourite customer.
  • Right for the Wrong Reasons: Yeah, she's absolutely right that Lisa should stay faithful to Johnny if she's in a relationship with him... but the reason she advises Lisa to do so is so she can be a Gold Digger.
  • Shipper with an Agenda: She's pro-Johnny and wants Lisa to stay with him, not because she's a fan of their romance but because she wants her daughter to marry so she can benefit from this.
  • Straw Feminist: She has a very low opinion about men, but she's at least open-minded enough to know that women can also be manipulative.
  • Villain Has a Point: While her advising Lisa to stay faithful to Johnny so she can live off his money is very cold-blooded and insensitive, everybody would've been better off had Lisa listened to her.
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: Her breast cancer. It comes up once, then is never mentioned again.
    "They have cures for everything."

Played by Scott Holmes (credited as Mike Holmes in the film, due to Wiseau forgetting the actor's name)

One of Johnny and Mark's friends and Michelle's boyfriend.

  • Beta Couple: With Michelle.
  • Blatant Lies: He had to run back into the apartment after being caught having sex with Michelle and get his ... book. (That is, his underwear.)
  • The Bro Code: Chooses to stay to play football with the guys rather than make out with his girlfriend.
  • The Friends Who Never Hang: Not seen on screen together with Peter.
  • Large Ham: He's no louder than the rest of the cast, but his exaggerated facial expressions and non-stop mugging have to be seen to be believed.
  • Plucky Comic Relief: Not involved in the romantic "drama", and he is mainly remembered for telling his friends a silly story about his underwear.
  • Too Much Information: In one scene, he tells the rest of the guys he has to leave so he can make out with Michelle.

Played by Robyn Paris

One of Lisa's friends, confidant and Mike's girlfriend.


Played by Dan Janjigian

An aggressive drug-dealer with a past history with Denny.

  • Ax-Crazy: So much so that his actor actually ended up scaring the rest of the crew with his performance.
  • The Aggressive Drug Dealer: Aggressive both in how he talks and how he threatens people with weapons.
  • Beard of Evil: Has a goatee, and is an aggressive drug dealer.
  • Chandler's Law: He starts the first violent part of the movie.
  • Chekhov's Gun: His gun is probably supposed to be this, as it's clearly intended to be the same gun Johnny uses to commit suicide, but given the type of film this is, the make and model changes by the time Johnny uses it.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: He wants his fucking money right now, not in five fucking minutes, or else Denny is fucking dead.
  • Diabolus ex Nihilo: He isn't even referenced until he shows up to try and get Denny to pay him. After that, he is never mentioned or referenced again.
  • Famous Last Words: Since we never see him again.
    Chris-R: "—FUCKING DEAD—"
  • Gangsta Style: Like any good movie gangsta, Chris-R holds his gun sideways.
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: His first reaction when Denny tells him to wait for his money is to pull a gun on him and threaten his life. To be fair, he's a drug dealer, so he was probably high on something at the time.
  • Hot-Blooded: Definitely not an even-tempered guy.
  • Large Ham: According to The Disaster Artist, Dan gave what's considered the most passionate performance in the movie.
  • No Indoor Voice: To be fair, he was outside when he was doing all his yelling. Though presumably being inside wouldn't have stopped him.
  • Sir Swearsalot: All the dialogue in his one scene is a Cluster F-Bomb.
  • Sleeves Are for Wimps: Wears a tank-top in his scene.

Played by Kyle Vogt

One of Johnny and Mark's friends and professional psychologist.

  • Alliterative Name: His name and his profession (psychologist) begin with the same letter (although the two "P"s aren't pronounced the same).
  • Busman's Holiday: Is still "playing the psychologist" even when he's off-duty.
  • Butt-Monkey: Seems to be the butt of jokes in Johnny's inner circle. He is called a chicken at least two times, trips over in a tuxedo football match and is almost thrown off the roof by Mark.
  • Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Mysteriously disappears midway through the movie, and is never mentioned again. This is because the actor had to leave to do another movie. Rather than film the important party scenes on his last day, Tommy instead filmed the pointless "football in tuxedos" scene.
  • The Friends Who Never Hang: Not seen on screen together with Claudette, Mike, Michelle, or (obviously) Steven.
  • Ignored Expert: Johnny asks him for some advice about his relationship, which he gives him (for free, even!) and then Johnny gets annoyed and doesn't follow it because he doesn't feel like it. He also tells Mark that he should lay off the drugs, which he doesn't do for the same reason. On top of that, he also (probably correctly) diagnoses Lisa as a sociopath, which doesn't go anywhere either.
  • Nice Guy: He only appears in a few scenes, but they all portray him as a calm, sensible person who's concerned for the well-being of others. He may be a bit too nice, considering how quick he is to dismiss the issue after Mark tries to push him off a rooftop.
  • Only Sane Man: Peter is the only one who hesitates to play football in a tuxedo. He also points out how manipulative and two-faced Lisa is and tries to stop Mark from doing drugs, which would only aggravate the situation even further. Moreover, he tells Mark to take responsibility for his affair with Lisa and to stop seeing her. Given that he's a psychologist, it's not all that surprising that he is the only person with common sense.
    You guys proved my point. You’re both weird.
  • Remember the New Guy?: Not as much as his replacement below, but he still comes out of nowhere without being properly introduced, a little over halfway into the movie.
  • Smart People Wear Glasses: The most highly educated character and also the only one in the male cast who wears glasses.
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: His actor quit mid-movie, so he disappears and Steven takes his place. According to Kyle Vogt, Peter was at the police station giving details about everybody after the Chris-R incident.

Played by Greg Ellery

One of Johnny and Mark's friends concerned about Lisa's infidelity and affair with Mark.

  • Actor Swap: He only exists because Peter's actor quit.
  • All There in the Script: His name is only known by the credits.
  • Early-Bird Cameo: Appears as one of the many party guests before walking in on Mark and Lisa.
  • 11th-Hour Ranger: He is introduced late in the movie, having never been mentioned beforehand.
  • The Friends Who Never Hang: For obvious reasons, not seen on screen together with Peter.
  • Large Ham: He's basically a more melodramatic version of Peter. For a guy who shows up out of nowhere, he acts far more involved with the plot then he should.
  • Only Sane Man: Like Peter before him, he has enough sense to realize how toxic Lisa is and to foresee the consequences of her affair. He and Michelle sit down with Lisa and try (in vain) to talk her out of it.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: He gives one to Lisa after he catches her making out with Mark.
  • Remember the New Guy?: An impossibly lazy example. With about 20 minutes left in the movie, a new character suddenly appears and becomes deeply involved in the plot. Presumably, we're not supposed to notice that he appeared from nowhere without an introduction. Word of God is that Steven is supposed to be a replacement for the psychologist character Peter (whose actor left the production), but the audience is given no hint of this; indeed, Steven looks nothing like Peter.
  • Suspiciously Similar Substitute: Originally, Peter had Steven's role, but his actor quit during filming, leading to Steven's creation.


  • As Himself: Tommy didn't notice him until during the middle of a take. Later, he would ask the dog's owner if it was a 'real thing', perhaps not convinced it was a real animal.
  • Old Dog: According to his owner, he was very old. This may explain why he sat so quietly on the counter that Tommy Wiseau didn't initially notice his presence.
  • Precious Puppy: Well, maybe not so much a puppy anymore. But definitely precious.

    Flower Shop Lady 

  • As Herself: The owner of the flower shop in real life (it has since closed). She was allowed to appear as herself, as Tommy didn't have any extras to spare for the scene.
  • Failed a Spot Check: She fails to recognize Johnny until he takes off his sunglasses, despite his distinct appearance.


Claudette's brother (and Lisa's uncle), who wants her to give him a share of her house. Claudette is less than willing to do this.

    Shirley Hamilton 

Claudette's friend, who wants to buy a new house. Claudette asks Johnny to help her with a down payment, only for him to tell her it's an awkward situation. She expected him to be more generous. The only character in the entire movie to have a surname, yet she's entirely offscreen.

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