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Characters / LISA: The Pointless

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Much like the original game, LISA: The Pointless is populated with many eccentric characters.

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    The Protagonists 

Alex Churchland

"No... This was my first and only chance. I had life figured out, but now it's all gone."

The protagonist of The Pointless. A down-on-his-luck garbage man who just wants to find a place where he can live in peace.

In his childhood, he grew up in a poor family, learning martial arts from an instructional tape his aunt found in a thrift store. Unfortunately, his life was unkind, as he went from aspiring martial artist to garbage man. Some time after the Flash, he was beaten to a pulp and left for dead on Garbage Island. After being nursed back to health by Joel, he sets off with his new companion in search of someplace peaceful to live.

  • Action Survivor: The Rando Army, the garbage cultists, the Infinity Franchise, and many more are unable to put Alex down.
  • Arrogant Kung-Fu Guy: Implied. In the intro, he's seen using his skills to bully another student at school, and despite his confidence, he is soundly defeated by his first opponent in a martial arts tournament.
  • Bare-Fisted Monk: Similar to Brad, only Alex is a practitioner of kung-fu.
  • Blood from the Mouth: When Joel finds him in the intro. Later shows up again after Hugo guts him.
  • Break the Haughty: Losing his first match in the tournament leaves a young Alex devastated, and results in him giving up on martial arts to work a menial job as a garbage man.
  • Charles Atlas Superpower: Parodied. The flash back sequence has Alex being thrown by his opponent the first two times. Then he recalls the minor iris move, his best move in the first chapter... and still lost. The next best move he learns? Trick Kick. And it DQ's him.
  • Contrasting Sequel Main Character: Alex lacks the angst and combat prowess of both Brad and Buddy from the original game. He's not defenseless or without his personal problems, but he isn't anywhere near as monstrously powerful (or emotionally unstable) as Brad and Buddy were.
  • Controllable Helplessness: The final part of chapter 1 has a severely injured Alex being carried by Joel, thanks to Hugo mercilessly shanking him.
  • Cool Old Guy: Alex is in his sixties, but he can still kick a fair amount of ass, and is one of the nicest LISA protagonists.
  • Dark and Troubled Past: Based on the intro, he grew up impoverished and was raised by his extended family. It also has yet to be explained how he ended up half-dead on Garbage Island, or who Clarence is.
  • Feeling Their Age: Since Alex is in his sixties, his joints aren't in the best shape, and two of his skills cause joint pain (read: Cast from Hit Points).
  • Humble Pie: After years spent training with a martial arts tape and devising his own style, he suffers a humiliating loss to an Aikido practitioner.
  • I Know Madden Kombat: He lacks formal training in Kung-Fu, having taught himself how by crafting his own style called "Velvet-Fu." It's helpful against untrained opponents, but as soon as he encounters a trained Aikido user (a highly reactive style relative to the aggression of Velvet-Fu) he gets roundly defeated.
  • Irony: Alex, a garbage man, becomes garbage in the opening of the game.
  • Kick Them While They Are Down: Iron Hoof does tremendous damage to anyone inflicted with Fallen.
  • Loser Protagonist: A lowly garbage man and a normal (relatively-speaking) wastelander.
  • Made of Iron: Survives getting beaten to a pulp and thrown in a garbage dump as well as getting gutted by Hugo.
  • My Greatest Failure: His failure in the martial arts tournament dooms him from pursuing martial arts as a career and leads to him becoming a garbage man.
  • Older and Wiser: From what we can see in a flashback, this seems to be the case. When he was young, he had four techniques, all of them purely offensive, his only Stance was an Advancing Stance (which had a chance to make him go berserk), used TP instead of SP (which rewards being aggressive), and he was really cocky which all leads him to losing his big match. Now, he uses SP, has more techniques that are used to inflict various status effects instead of going all out, has two stances (the first being a RECEDING Stance), and is overall much more humble.
  • Only Sane Man: In spite of all the bizarre things he sees, Alex always keeps a cool head. He's skeptical of the communion of cellophane and isn't tempted by the Infinity Franchise. He often questions the absurd/stupid/irrational behavior of the people around him.
  • The Stoic: Averted, to a certain degree. Relative to Brad, Alex is not shy about smiling, laughing and cracking jokes. However, Alex is much calmer and composed than any of the other characters he encounters.

Joel Miller

A lone gunslinger with an empty gun, Joel is the deuteragonist of The Pointless as well as Alex's trusted companion. He found a near-dead Alex lying in the Mass Graves, and by sheer coincidence found the Custom Bullet underneath him. After nursing Alex back to health, Joel teams up with him to escape from Garbage Island.

  • Clint Squint: Just to top off The Gunslinger look.
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: A downplayed instance, in that Joel is spacier and more happy-go-lucky than the comparatively straight-laced Alex.
  • Determinator: Before the story starts, Joel spent twelve years searching Garbage Island for the bullet that fits his gun.
  • Dramatic Gun Cock: Joel can reestablish himself as a threat by loading and cocking his gun in battle, which restores his SP.
  • Fan Disservice: Weaponized in his Gun Reveal move, where he reveals his gun...and his beer gut, making the opponent feel Nasty and sometimes Wary (or even Flustered).
  • Friend or Idol Decision: With Hugo holding Alex at knifepoint, Joel threatens him with his gun; if you've treated him well enough, he's willing to fire, giving up the first and only bullet he's found to save Alex's life. However, he forgot to load...
  • Friendship Moment: A hidden value is present that determines how Joel reacts to certain situations. So far, only the next to last final scene has this. Depending on certain actions pertaining to Alex's bond with Joel (such as inquiring on his backstory, being positively receptive to his friendlier attitude, having a feast with another ally) will increase that value by 1 point. Dismissive actions subtract a point. Important actions (such as providing the trauma kit while he waits for you) increase this by 3 points. The outcome of this value determines how Joel threatens Hugo. If below range, he'll simply scowl. Within range, he'll try to bluff him with his gun. Above range, he'll attempt to shoot him (but forgot to load his bullet)..
    • Non-calculated moments also count, such as Joel's dialogue with Alex at the feast, and how he'll insist on Jason Pike to patch up a heavily injured Alex, and carry him to the bus.
  • Giving Someone the Pointer Finger: One of his skills causes him to dramatically point at an enemy, which inflicts Weird and Wary.
  • The Gunslinger: Parodied. With the Bolt Action Pistol, the suit, and the hat, he's got the look down cold. However, unlike Beltboy, he only has one bullet, and doesn't plan on using it. Rather, he uses the gun as a Weapon for Intimidation to great effect.
  • Hand Cannon: The Bolt Action Pistol is a .476 caliber pistol; the description calls it the most powerful handgun in Olathe. It gives Joel a huge boost to his attack stat.
  • It Works Better with Bullets: If Joel's relationship value with Alex is high enough, he will pull the trigger when Hugo stabs Alex...and reveal he forgot to load the gun.
  • Mechanically Unusual Fighter: None of his skills can cause direct damage, and instead inflict various status effects and he can only really attack by throwing empty bottles.
  • Nice Guy: He quickly becomes friends with Alex, never really showing any selfishness besides being distracted by the bullet at the beginning.
  • Nice Hat: It's an old hat, yes, but it stands out in the wastelands. It's even called the Coolass Hat in-game.
  • Red Eyes, Take Warning: His Mind Games move involves him doing just that to intimidate an enemy, invoke presence (regenerates some SP for each turn), and can fully regenerate SP if he had taunt enabled.
  • Status Effects: Can't attack at all besides chucking bottles (which he's good at because of his high attack), so most of his moves involves inflicting this on enemies.
  • Support Party Member: Since he has only one bullet in his custom-made family heirloom handgun, he has to bluff enemies to inflict different status effects.

    Garbage Island 

Georgy Hernandez

An aspiring businessman who temporarily accompanies Alex and Joel on their exodus from Garbage Island.

  • Crutch Character: To a degree. While his attack is pathetic and he lacks any useful offensive skills, he can Brag to taunt enemies and take some heat off Alex and Joel for a turn or two, and he has enough health to soak up a few hits.
  • Doomed by Canon: He's the Joy Mutant Brad can fight on Garbage Island.
  • Fat Bastard: As overweight as his brothers, and quite the jerk too.
  • Guest-Star Party Member: He leaves your party when you reach the mainland.
  • Hypocrite: He'll bawl you out for trying to take his worthless fake watch, but has no problem stealing an actually valuable gold wristwatch when he leaves your party.
  • Jerkass: He's rude to Alex and Joel, barely pulls his weight in your party, wrecked Augustus Estrada's drawing and stole his chalk, and rallied most of the island against Roland.
    • Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: He's genuinely kind to Joel and Alex when he bids them farewell at House Dust...then he steals their valuable gold watch.
  • Shovel Strike: His weapon of choice is a rusty trowel. It's...not particularly effective, to say the least.
  • Small Name, Big Ego: Not very important (even on Garbage Island), and isn't a very good fighter, but seems to regard himself highly. His only skill in combat is "Brag", which taunts enemies. He is rather tanky though, so he can help take the heat off of Joel.
  • So Long, and Thanks for All the Gear: Played with. There is no way to upgrade his equipment, but nothing is stopping you from taking his shovel and watch. If you do, he'll angrily take it back shortly after he leaves your party.
    • As noted above, he steals the Impeccable Gold Brolex once he leaves your party. There's no way to prevent this.
  • Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?: After killing Roland, Georgy furiously calls out Joel for not just shooting him and saving them the trouble.

Larry Davis

A master of the arts of "stroking plastic." He sends Alex on a quest to find enlightenment through humping trash.

  • Cloud Cuckoolander
  • Cool Old Guy: Subverted. Everyone on Garbage Island views him as this, but he appears to Alex as a weird, depraved old person who dispenses useless advice about how humping garbage is a meaningful life pursuit. At the end of the plastic stroking side quest, Alex criticizes Larry's entire philosophy and promptly leaves, disgusted that he even bothered with it in the first place.
  • Dirty Old Man: What else can be said of an old man who spoons with garbage?
  • Extreme Omnisexual: He's intimate with trash and his late mother-in-law.
  • Expy: He's a send-up to Harmony Korine's character in the experimental film Trash Humpers.
  • I Love the Dead: If you pick a certain dialogue choice when conversing with him after Alex's quest for enlightenment failed, Larry will reveal that the bag he's humping contains the body of his mother-in-law.
  • Please, Don't Leave Me: After Alex, Joel, and Georgy kill Roland, Larry shows up and pleads with them to not leave Garbage Island.
  • Title Drop: Larry Davis is the titular mystic of trash.
  • Wasteland Elder: Viewed as an extremely wise sage by the rest of Garbage Island, although the "wisdom" he gives Alex isn't particularly helpful.

Augustus Estrada

An old man hiding away in one of Garbage Island's caves. He introduces the idea of the "city" through a drawing he's made on a cave wall.
  • Beauty Equals Goodness: Or at least sanity and clarity, he's one of the most normal looking inhabitants of Garbage Island.
  • Blind Seer: His perpetually-closed eyes and his allegedly prophetic dreams give him this vibe. Interestingly, Augustus himself doesn't put any stock in this.
    "It's just a drawing... get over it."
  • Big Damn Heroes: If you return his chalk, he will appear during the fight against Roland and revive your whole party should they be KO'd.
  • Cool Old Guy: Beyond being wise and amicable, he's one of the few Garbage Island residents that isn't a depraved weirdo.
  • Hermit Guru: The smartest and most articulate person that Alex comes across on Garbage Island. His parting words also have a vaguely Taoist vibe, where he encourages Alex to prioritize self-fulfillment over his constant search for something better that may not exist.
  • Knight in Sour Armor: He's become disillusioned with the Communion of Cellophane. However, he's kind to Alex and offers him some genuinely insightful advice.
    "Nothing will be good enough if you keep looking outward. A wise man can make a home out of anything."
  • No Celebrities Were Harmed: He's based on the Argentinian writer and intellectual Julio Cortázar.
  • Reclusive Artist: A literal example, as he lives away from the rest of the island and draws things he sees in his dreams.
  • Uncertain Doom: Giving how the Garbage Pilgrims (Clarence Kripke and the passengers of his boat.) have seemingly taken the Infinity Jerseys with them on their journey to Garbage Island, it is unknown whether or not Augustus will die, given how Alex and Joel will never return to Garbage Island.

Roland von Buckingham

A failed politician turned devoted acolyte of the Communion of Cellophane. He is feared and disliked by most of Garbage Island's residents, who he forbids from leaving.

  • Arc Villain: The most antagonistic member of the Cellophane Communion, and by far the strongest faced. Notably, it seems that a lot of what kept people on Garbage Island was the fear of Roland, as several NPCs will want to leave after he dies.
  • Beware the Quiet Ones: Although he's presented as being shy and reclusive, he's extremely tough in battle.
  • Big Bad: Of the Garbage Island segment, as he's the most prominent representative of the communion as well as the most actively-antagonistic towards Alex and Joel.
  • Combat Breakdown: He has three phases to his fight, with him getting more bloodied and beaten. By phase three, he's on all fours, covered in blood, and reduced to scratching and praying.
  • Creepy Crows: Roland looks after these, which earns him even more resentment because the crows eat the petrified seagulls that are harvested for food.
  • Defiant to the End: Even when he's clearly beaten, he still won't back down.
  • Fat Bastard: Even if he has a sympathetic side, he's still a controlling, overbearing hypocrite who has no problem using violence to stop people from leaving the communion.
    "You want to undermine all that... undermine all we have HERE."
  • Gonk: Roland has a pretty unappealing appearance, being visibly overweight and having a comically big nose.
  • Good Old Fisticuffs: His fighting style is listed as "Brawling" on his official stat sheet, and it reflects in his attacks, which simply consist out of him performing strong punches and repeated stomps, and occasionally buffing himself up to preform a karate chop attack that hits all party members.
  • Hated by All: In spite of sharing the same philosophy/religion, nearly everyone on Garbage Island hates him save for Augustus Estrada and Richie Cheesedust, the latter of whom is implied to secretly have a crush on him.
    • Even before the Flash, his political career ultimately failed because nobody actually liked him.
  • Hidden Depths: The two men prior to his boss fight say that Roland is actually timid and full of self-doubt. It's suggested that the reason he feels so strongly about keeping people on the island is that he himself dislikes the garbage lifestyle but doesn't want to admit it.
  • Hypocrite: As mentioned above, it's implied that he has some uncertainties about his lifestyle, but he's willing to use force against anyone else who shows similar doubts.
  • Jerkass: He's a member of a suicide cult who's willing to beat people to death just for wanting to leave the island.
  • Stout Strength: Roland has quite the gut but he hits hard in battle. Even though everyone hates him, he can more than hold his own.
  • Unskilled, but Strong: His attacks are just basic punches and kicks, but they hit hard, and he's got enough health to soak up Alex and Georgy's attacks for a while.
  • Villainous Valor: See Defiant to the End. After the fight, one of the NPCs expresses a measure of admiration for Roland.

    Downtown Olathe 

Lester Bean

A solitary chef and one of the few friendly faces Alex and Joel come across in Downtown Olathe. He sells a variety of meat-based healing items and is opposed to the Infinity Franchise's wanton destruction.

  • Beauty Equals Goodness: Inverted. He is one of the ugliest characters in the game but is also one of the only friendly people in Downtown Olathe who stays that way.
  • Berserk Button: People trying to get free food (without earning it, at least- he's perfectly happy with handing out freebies if you do his bounty hunts).
  • Beware the Nice Ones: One of the only friendly faces in Downtown Olathe that doesn't fall prey to the Infinity Franchise or end up joining them. His initial encounter also has him one-shot a couple of Franchisees trying to strong-arm him with a huge butcher's knife.
  • Blood Knight: He's real eager for Alex and Joel to go out and kill the franchisers on his wanted list.
    "Kill some for Lester!"
  • Chef of Iron: Implied. He's a chef that easily kills two men with one swing of a katana he's wielding, and he looks incredibly brawny.
  • Cordon Bleugh Chef: The descriptions of his dishes don't sound very appetizing, but they heal Alex and Joel just the same.
  • Gonk: He is incredibly ugly, even for the characters shown in this game, as he looks like a mutant ogre.
  • I'm a Humanitarian: He's got to be doing something with the corpses Alex and Joel are giving him, right? Ultimately subverted when Lester reveals he's just serving imitation pork.
  • Katanas Are Just Better: He kills Mes Tez and Wing Sping (the two franchisers harassing him) with a Katana he carries around.
  • Mystery Meat: The player can only speculate on what it is in Lester's stew that "squirms." He claims that it's imitation pork. It actually tastes more like chicken and gives people the runs. The ultimate prize of doing all his sidequests also subverts the Mystery Meat trope by being a genuine hunk of ham.
  • Only Sane Man: The only major character in downtown Olathe that isn't part of the Infinity Franchise and can hold his own against them as well.
  • Single-Stroke Battle: He deals with two Franchisers bothering him this way, minus the sheathing the sword part.

The Infinity Franchise

A horde of thugs terrorizing downtown Olathe. They are characterized by their "88" basketball jerseys and their proclivity for brutal, unprovoked bloodshed.

  • Arc Villain: While it's difficult to pin down an entire organization as a single villain, every trouble Alex and Joel run into Downtown are caused by these maniacs.
  • Artifact of Doom: The jerseys are possibly this, considering that just about everyone who dons one is seemingly overtaken by murderous rage. The fact that a box of them was dug up in the middle of the desert (with a bunch of skeletons conspicuously donning them nearby) makes them seem even more strange.
  • Ax-Crazy: The franchise is comprised almost exclusively of violent maniacs.
  • Blood Knight: Every member of the franchise is trying to kill everyone else, including each other.
  • Brainwashed and Crazy: One possible reason for the Infinity Franchise converts. An NPC that later joins up with them mentions that Stefan Kindchild reprogrammed the televisions to not show the TV Host's program to show something else. Stefan carries a television on his head that flashes "KILL" over and over that inflicts rage on people, so it's not hard to imagine what Stefan changed the televisions to show.
  • Butt-Monkey: One franchiser, William Double J. Palmer, starts out with the Broken Bones status effect, which vastly decreases his attack and defense. He often misses his attacks, but if they do hit, they likely do no damage. His calm demeanor and his dialogue before joining the Infinity Franchise implies that he joined up for protection and isn't under effect of a Hate Plague.
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: The Franchisers that don't try to kill you often say nonsensical things.
  • Chekhov's Gunman: Many of the later Infinity Franchisers are first encountered as normal people when Alex and Joel first enter Downtown Olathe. Notably, a few of the clowns are seen fixing up the car with an explicit desire to leave the place only to later try to run Alex and Joel down with it, lending credence to the idea that the jerseys drive people Ax-Crazy.
  • Clown Car: One encounter has Alex and Joel getting attacked by a gang of franchisers piled inside one.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: Doesn't take much to set a member off.
    "No jersey, no mercy!"
  • Evil Army: A band of vicious marauders.
  • Greater-Scope Villain: Beyond opposing Alex and Joel on their adventure, they show no intent of stopping their rampage until they've killed everyone in Olathe.
  • Giant Space Flea from Nowhere: Ross Hillock suddenly joins the battle against Donnie Sand, killing Donnie by throwing a TV at him before taking you on himself.
    "Here comes the meat train!"
  • Gonk: One of the more prominent members, Stefan Kindchild, looks absolutely grotesque, even compared to the snake-like Anaconda.
  • Hate Plague: It's never outright stated, but it seems as though the people who join the franchise are being influenced to do so by some unseen force. While some people do seem to join up for the sake of protection, they end up going Ax-Crazy like everyone else.
  • I'm a Humanitarian: The franchise doesn't have any qualms about eating human flesh, as shown with Jessie Mack and his goons.
  • Maybe Magic, Maybe Mundane: Do the jerseys cause people who don them to become violent? Or is it just an excuse for them to act out in a socially disharmonious way? There's also the event that happens when reaching the first fold of infinity, which is either actually mystical or a hallucination.
  • Meaningful Name: Daniel Grind's last name, Grind is essentially what all the Franchisers are doing in general, as they constantly defeat and kill random people just for the sake of getting to a higher "fold", much like how those who grind in an RPG game kill countless enemies for the sake of getting to a higher level.
  • Omnicidal Maniac: The ultimate goal of the Franchise genuinely seems to be to keep killing until everyone in Olathe is dead. Special mention goes to Ross Hillock, who almost reached the fifth fold of infinity, which implies that he killed at least 80 people beforehand.
  • Outside-Context Problem: The Franchise is heavily implied and suggested to be supernatural in nature, making it completely out of place, as most of the opponents you have been facing up until Downtown Olathe, the home to the instance you encounter and fight in game, are just ordinary, if hostile inhabitants of Olathe.
  • Optional Boss: Quite a few of the franchisers can be ignored, though killing a certain number of them opens up a bizarre sequence where Alex can increase his stats. A few of the stronger franchisers can also be killed to get free items from Lester.
  • Religion of Evil: A borderline-cult with supernatural overtones that revels in violence for the sake of violence.
  • Sanity Slippage: A good number of the Franchisers are first seen as normal NPCs, but later on they don the jerseys and suddenly becoming seized with murderous rage.
  • Shoddy Knockoff Product: The entire premise of the faction. The jerseys they wear are knockoffs of a brand of jerseys by a sports apparel company called King. Only problem is the original jerseys by King didn't exist, making them a knockoff with no original. The resulting PR disaster led to the company burying the jerseys, where they were eventually dug up and rediscovered at some point. Every single jersey you pick up from killed Franchisers in the game is described as a completely mundane and nondescript knockoff jersey, so it's not quite clear where the supernatural hold it has on people truly comes from.
  • The Man Behind the Man: Arnold Shpitz vaguely mentions that there is a "corporate" entity directing the Franchise's mayhem. Daniel Grind's presence suggests they have some sort of leadership, but nothing further is revealed.

Central Powers

The other warlords of Downtown Olathe, who meet up for a feast with Alex and Joel as guests.

  • Action Bomb: Tic-Tonic explodes when he gets too stressed out. This kills both him and Fringe Boy.
  • Ax-Crazy: Shef and Fringe Boy, despite initially appearing calm, reveal themselves to be franchisers. They start the killings that lead to most of the Central Powers being killed off. Jessie Mack, previously a warlord, has also become an Infinity Franchise member that can be fought as an optional miniboss for one of Lester's bounties.
  • Developing Doomed Characters: They all have their distinctive appearances, personalities, and even fighting styles as shown in an official Stat Card, but they are all killed at the end of the end of the cutscene they are introduced in, with the exception of Long Leg Lenny.
  • Early-Bird Cameo: You can first see Long Leg Lenny in Alex's childhood flasback, attending the same school as him.
  • Go-Karting with Bowser: Despite supposedly being at each other's throats, they have a casual feast together to discuss things with each other. At least until a few of them reveal to have defected to the Franchise.
  • I Have Many Names: John Johnson, who's introduced with a bunch of nicknames, settling on Gold Diamond at the time.
  • I'm a Humanitarian: Shef decapitates and eats Zein Ka after the lights flicker. Amusingly, he chokes to death after killing Office Ottoman.
  • Laugh Track: All of Shef's lines are punctuated with a laugh track. If you interact with his corpse after he chokes, the laugh track still plays.
  • Lights Off, Somebody Dies: Twice!
    • The first time, Long Leg Lenny leaves the room, Shef decapitates and eats Zein Ka, and Fringe Boy beats John Johnson to death with a stool.
    • The second time, Shef knifes Office Ottoman before choking to death, and Tic-Tonic explodes, taking himself and Fringe Boy out.
  • Maybe Magic, Maybe Mundane: It's unclear if Shef and Fringe Boy joined the franchise of their own volition or if something more was at work.
  • Only Sane Man: Office Ottoman, who is fed up with the other warlords and considers joining Alex and Joel before Shef and Fringe Boy kill off everyone else.
  • Optional Boss: Silvester de Maistre challenges you to a fight if you meet him, but you can decline and continue on your way.
  • Psychopathic Manchild: Fringe Boy acts and dresses like a rude teenager, despite visibly being the oldest one out of the group. He's seen beating John Johnson to death with a stool, reveling in the glory of infinity while doing so.
  • Sssssnaketalk: Zein Ka speaks like this.
  • War for Fun and Profit: Their attitudes as well as that of everyone else in Downtown Olathe indicates that their conflicts are purely done for sport and implied to never be lethal. Then the Infinity Franchise came in...
  • We Hardly Knew Ye: Everyone except Jessie Mack (who's wandering around Downtown Olathe as an optional boss) and Silvester de Maistre (who's met later and can be challenged) are introduced at the feast and promptly die.
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: Long Leg Lenny excuses himself to make a phone call and isn't found afterward, so it could be inferred that he survived.

Anaconda Virtue

One of the more notable (and powerful) members of the Franchise besides Arnold. A creepy and depraved man, even by franchise standards.

  • Animal Motifs: Snakes.
  • Ax-Crazy: Like the rest of the Franchise.
  • Bestiality Is Depraved: Is introduced telling Alex about a time he cut open a rat and then had sex with it.
  • Depraved Homosexual: In the scene mentioned above, Anaconda makes a pass at Alex.
    "You remind me of that rat."
  • Ironic Name: His last name is Virtue, meaning high moral standards and behavior, yet he is Ax-Crazy like every other franchiser and has even committed acts of zoophilia with a rat.
  • Make Me Wanna Shout: His Choirboy's Screech attack, which cuts Alex and Joel's SP and gives the Crying and Spooked statuses.
  • Nightmare Face: Check out Lester's wanted photo. His teeth are sharpened into points, he's missing most of his hair, and he lacks a nose.
  • Playing with Fire: In the second and third fights with him, he will use the Birdie Hall strategy of spitting oil on Alex and Joel and then using fire attacks.
  • Recurring Boss: Continually picks fights with Alex and Joel before running away and reappearing much stronger later on.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: He bails on the first two fights once you get his health down below a certain threshold.
  • Small Name, Big Ego: He thinks he's a match for Arnold Shpitz. Fighting them both shows that Anaconda doesn't even compare.

Stefan Kindchild

One of Lester's most wanted Franchisers, and another one of the strongest. He's found behind the Gambling Hall, being carried around with a TV strapped to his head.

  • The Bully: According to Word of God, he forced Chandler Sinclair to carry him around, and one of his attacks is even called Bully.
  • Fat Bastard: A huge ogre of a man, and a cruel bully as well.
  • Genius Bruiser: He has multiple PhDs, according to the designer, and was smart enough to reprogram the TVs around downtown Olathe.
  • Gonk: He is probably the ugliest character in the game.
  • Huge Rider, Tiny Mount: His 'mount', Chandler Sinclair, is an average-sized person, who looks comically small under Stefan's massive bulk.
  • Kick Them While They Are Down: If he inflicts Fallen on Alex or Joel, he will almost certainly follow up with a Stomp, which is likely to finish off whoever he hits.
  • Stout Strength: Don't let his gut and mount fool you. Stefan is very, very strong, and an experienced sumo wrestler as well.
  • Strong and Skilled: In addition to being strong, he's a sumo wrestler. His basic attacks hit hard, and if you kill off Chandler Sinclair first, he starts using his skills to throw Alex and Joel around.
  • Wicked Cultured: His last words are a section of the poem In the Desert by Stephen Crane.

Arnold Shpitz

A quiet and enigmatic member of the Infinity franchise. He's the strongest man in downtown Olathe and perhaps the entire franchise.

  • 100% Adoration Rating: Everything that the Infinity Franchisers say about him is positive, and even when Anaconda Virtue somewhat insultingly says "At this rate, I'll outdo Arnold himself.", he is still admitting that he views him as being number one.
  • Ambiguous Disorder: His wiki page on one of the wikis describes him as having been plagued by violent urges he struggled to keep control of throughout his life.
  • Attack! Attack! Attack!: His first phase consists of him buffing himself and then just pulverizing Alex and Joel with a simple three-punch combo. If he's not debuffed, he can pulp them both in less than five turns.
  • Asskicking Equals Authority: Subverted. The positive comments and idolization of him displayed by various franchisers in Downtown Olathe suggests that he'd be a leader among them, or at least some form of highly esteemed authority; but by Arnold's own words, he is "No One in Particular". We also don't even know if the instance of the Franchise encountered in Downtown Olathe was the last time we will see them, as there could possibly be yet another instance of the Franchise that has individuals that are strong as, or even stronger than arnold in their numbers in a future update.
  • Big Bad: Played with. While he's the strongest member of the Infinity Franchise (at least seen in Part 1 of the game), it's not clear if he's really their leader. Killing him doesn't stop the Franchise from continuing to spread.
  • Blood Knight: Subverted; unlike most of the Franchisers, Arnold doesn't seem to derive any joy from the violence and brutality he commits.
  • Blue-and-Orange Morality: Having completely given himself over to the power of infinity, Arnold no longer abides by any worldly morality. He violently pummels anyone who crosses his path for no other reason than it being the will of the franchise that chaos reign supreme. He still feels obligated to kill Alex even though neither men are in the other's way and there's no real need for them to fight. For Arnold, the prospective bloodshed is reason enough.
  • Boring, but Practical: In contrast to the gimmicks that the other Franchisers use, like Anaconda Virtue's habit of oiling you up to make his fire moves more effective, Arnold Shpitz just focuses on buffing himself, then attacking you. He's also the strongest opponent you face in Downtown Olathe.
  • Boxing Battler: Unlike the vast majority of Alex's opponents, Arnold knows an actual martial art. While most of the franchisees are clumsy thugs who rely on brute strength, Arnold is a skilled and disciplined boxer on top of being quite strong. It's not surprising that he's the one who's risen to the top of the hierarchy.
  • Death Glare: Has the same annoyed scowl in all of his appearances.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: A talkative fan approaches Arnold at one point. Arnold cracks the fan's head open.
  • Dissonant Serenity: His only reason for killing ANYBODY at all is that he's just letting out all of the violent urges and thoughts he's ever had in his life, but he doesn't even show a hint of maliciousness or even anger or hatred, as he's essentially just mindlessly killing everybody unfortunate enough to cross his path.
  • Charles Atlas Superpower: Arnold has no apparent powers, just his boxing techniques and his raw strength. With just those he's able to thrash a joy mutant to pieces. Then again, his apparent mutation could imply something more.
  • Combat Breakdown: Played with. Similar to Roland, by the third phase, Arnold is slumped over and covered with blood. Unlike Roland, however, Arnold can still be a threat even when he's at death's door.
  • Establishing Character Moment: Arnold is introduced punching a joy mutant's head off with his brass knuckles. He stops to glare silently at Alex through a chain link fence before departing.
  • Eyes Always Shut: His eyes are closed entirely.
  • Final-Exam Boss: Each of his three phases requires a different strategy to take out, and they're all capable of killing you quickly if you can't handle it.
  • Foil: To Roland von Buckingham. Just to reinforce this further, Roland and Arnold are anagrams.
    • While Roland is hated by everyone on Garbage Island, Arnold is loved and respected by every franchiser in Downtown Olathe.
    • Roland is a big guy, but fights with no technique; his clumsy punches and kicks are only effective because of his brute strength. Arnold is a small man, but his boxing combos are deadly, and he can counter the Taunt + Dodge strategy with a powerful grappling attack.
    • Roland is also desperate to defend the Garbage Island lifestyle despite his implied dislike of it, while Arnold has no passion for the Infinity Franchise and is just using it as an excuse to commit wanton acts of violence.
    • Despite Arnold being hyped up as the boss of Downtown Olathe, defeating him isn't mandatory; all you get is a slightly different cutscene, a lot of EXP, and a weapon for Alex. Roland is a mandatory boss fight who, when defeated, allows Alex and Joel to leave Garbage Island with Georgy and thus access the rest of the game.
    • Both the battles have three phases. However, Roland's second and third phases are simply weaker than the first, with Roland being reduced to crying and weakly scratching. Arnold's second phase is a bizarre, monstrous form of the first, and even in his weakened third phase he's still capable of posing a significant threat.
  • The Generic Guy: Deliberately invoked in a way that adds depth to Arnold's character. In spite of being the toughest member of the franchise, there isn't anything distinct about Arnold's outward demeanor. Most of the franchisees have colorful designs and personalities, but Arnold is just a short, balding man who's usually silent and is completely dispassionate about violence. In spite of other characters praising his carnage, he doesn't visibly enjoy the violence or even seem to feel anything about it. It's suggested he's experienced ego death from completely giving himself up the franchise. This is reinforced when he tells Alex to blame the franchise for his actions. More than anyone else in the franchise, Arnold's sense of individuality has been dissolved so he can be an extension of the power of infinity.
  • Good Old Fisticuffs: He relies solely on his fists to overcome his foes.
  • Immune to Flinching: His second form is immune to Fallen, and his third form is immune to Spooked and Scared.
  • Just the First Citizen: He doesn't claim to be the leader of The Infinity Franchise, although he certainly commands a great deal of respect from his fellow gang members.
    "I'm no one in particular."
  • Lightning Bruiser: His first form is fast enough to outspeed Alex and Joel, and he hits like a train.
  • Lovecraftian Superpower: Whatever the hell he morphs into for his second phase, assuming it's real and not just a hallucination.
  • Maybe Magic, Maybe Mundane: Him mutating into a horrible monster was probably just a hallucination... right?
  • Megaton Punch: In his third phase, he dispenses with the combos and starts busting out a move called 'The Punch'. It hurts. A lot.
  • Mortality Phobia: Implied. One of the first things he says to Alex and Joel is "Scared of death?... it isn't easy."
  • Multiple Head Case: For the second phase of his battle, he turns into a monster that looks like three Arnold heads, wrapped around a fleshy glowing core.
  • One-Winged Angel: After you defeat his first form, he morphs into a trio of Arnold torsos sprouting out of a strange fleshy core.
    • Clipped-Wing Angel: Despite his new form looking intimidating and getting four attacks per turn, its damage output is significantly reduced. Furthermore, most of his physical damage output comes from one specific target, which also has very low HP.
  • Only Sane Man: Arnold is perfectly lucid in spite of his participation in the Franchise, which is shown by his calm demeanor and his disciplined fighting style. He's also aware that the Franchise was originally just a line of basketball merchandise before the flash, although that doesn't stop him from joining in on the violence and insanity. Unlike his compatriots, he doesn't relish in causing mayhem. He's so detached that it seems like he's killing people out of an obligation rather than blood lust.
  • Optional Boss: Surprisingly, despite being the biggest threat in Downtown Olathe, you can lose to him and advance the plot, though you'll lose out on getting his brass knuckles.
  • Perpetual Frowner: His character sprites never change from the determined steely gaze he has on his face.
  • Power Fist: His brass knuckles, which he uses to collapse men's skulls. If you manage to kill him in battle, they get dropped (or at least one of the knuckle rings does) as a weapon that Alex can equip.
  • Strong and Skilled: He is one of the three Franchisers who use a recognizable fighting style in the battle against them,note  his style being boxing, and he is also the last and most difficult opponent in Downtown Olathe.
  • Title Drop: Arnold is the titular mystic of violence.
  • The Quiet One: Is almost completely silent, although that doesn't stop him from the most powerful enemy in downtown Olathe.
  • The Worf Effect: Is introduced beating a joy mutant to death with his fists.
    • In addition to the joy mutant, there's a more subtle detail during the aforementioned introductory scene that alludes to Arnold's full power. One of the corpses lying near the briefcase, an older gentleman with a yellow tie (presumably the case's original owner), isn't noticeably injured or bloodied. The other murders Arnold commits cause excessive Gorn, so it's possible this particular victim went into cardiac arrest after getting hit in the chest. This establishes that Arnold is strong enough to stop someone's heart from beating with what appears to have been a single blow.
  • Then Let Me Be Evil: His reason for joining the Franchise is essentially just him giving into his violent urges that he struggled to control and using the Franchise as an excuse for killing others.


The TV Host/ Mortimer Gunhause

The more prominent of the two hosts that appear on the TV show Alex watches.

  • Chekhov's Gunman: He's alluded to by a few characters and can vaguely be seen on a TV before you get a closer look at him yourself.
  • Cloud Cuckoolander
  • Evil Laugh: Frequently laughs at Rick's suffering along with the distorted studio audience's laughter.
  • Greater-Scope Villain: Possibly. He seems to be connected to the city that's the driving force of many characters, but he's also implied to have ordered Rick's murder on live broadcast and considering that this is LISA we're talking about, his morals and intentions are highly ambiguous.
  • Maybe Magic, Maybe Mundane: Him and his program feel like a demented hallucination. It's unclear how the show is being broadcast in the first place, considering that the electricity and communications infrastructure needed to do that is presumably long-gone. The host gives off a malevolent, otherworldly quality throughout, so the explanation for the show's being could lie in the supernatural.
  • Red Right Hand: Has the word "GUN" very prominently tattooed on his forehead.
  • Word-Salad Horror: A lot of what he says on the broadcast comes across as nonsensical but ominous.
    " it is time to say 'goodbye' to mister Rick. He has made peace with his SANCTIFICATION!"

Raymund Ripe

A masked pervert that Alex briefly encounters after watching the TV program.

  • Affably Evil: He's definitely creepy, but he doesn't damage Alex in battle and eventually runs off after feeling him up for a few turns.
  • Bondage Is Bad: Appears to be wearing some sort of dominatrix mask.
  • Depraved Homosexual: Really gets close to Alex in the abandoned house.
  • Jump Scare: Suddenly appears behind Alex after the power to the TV gets cut.
  • Laser-Guided Karma: If you let him get away without fighting back, his corpse is seen at Cormack Rex's shack, implying that he killed him.
  • Psycho Pink: He wears what appears to be a bright pink latex mask, and he's a disturbed individual who tries to molest Alex under the threat of killing him if he fights back.
  • We Hardly Knew Ye: Assuming you don't kill him battle, Alex finds his corpse not far from the shack containing the trauma kit.

Cormack Rex

An old man living in a shack with his dog, Muffin, somewhere outside Downtown Olathe. He has one of the last trauma kits in the world.
  • Berserker Tears: If you kill Muffin first, Cormack gets the Crying and Pissed status, which makes him a significant threat even to an end-game Alex.
  • Cruelty Is the Only Option: If you want the trauma kit, you have to kill Cormack and Muffin.
  • Grumpy Old Man: No matter what Alex offers or how much he begs, Cormack refuses to help him out.
  • The Hermit: He lives alone with Muffin in a shack, and doesn't want anything to do with the outside world.
  • Offscreen Moment of Awesome: Kills Raymund Ripe if Alex doesn't.

Jason Pike

A lab-coat, purple glove-wearing man who is recruiting people to go to the city with him. He warmly welcomes Alex and Joel, and others to join him in his trip back.
  • Ambiguously Brown: He clearly isn't white, but we have no true clues to his ethnicity.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He's introduced as being a friendly man, although he hardly spends time thinking over giving into Hugo's demands (which we have yet to learn what) and decides to let him go after Alex. He was kind enough to patch him up after Joel intervenes, but not before taking a pink pill from him, but he does at least offer them a shortcut to the bus.
  • Mysterious Past: He apparently did 'something' in the past to Hugo Leopardi to make him so hostile to him.
  • Sadistic Choice: For once, he is the one that makes the choice. He decides to sacrifice Alex to Hugo for reasons currently unclear.

Hugo Leopoldi

A mysterious, glove-wearing man who periodically appears in the background and observes Alex.
  • Amazing Technicolor Population: He possesses pale-green skin, which gives him a zombie like appearance.
  • All in the Manual: He isn't named in-game, but the game files reveal that his name is Hugo.
  • Chekhov's Gunman: He makes a couple of appearances in unreachable locations early on, then gets a much more significant role in the last area of the game.
  • Expy: Of Buzzo from the original game. The critical difference here is that he's hounding Jason Pike, an NPC. This time it's the protagonists, Alex and Joel, whose lives are on the line in a Sadistic Choice that Jason is being forced to make.
  • Fat Bastard: He's visibly overweight, but still able to knock Alex down with a single well-placed punch.
  • Knife Nut: Viciously cuts Alex up along with the other travelers who were resting at the campsite.
  • Green and Mean: He possesses literal green skin and is antagonistic towards you.
  • Mysterious Past: We don't know what happened between him and Jason Pike that made him so hostile towards Jason.
  • Nightmare Face: His maniacal grin and beady, shadow-covered eyes make him look very menacing.
  • Slasher Smile: One that rivals even Buzzo's.
  • Soft-Spoken Sadist: Calm, cruel, and definitely sadistic.