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Characters / LISA: The Hopeful

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Characters appearing in the LISA fangame LISA: The Hopeful.

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     Beltboy and his party 

Benny "Beltboy" Oberwinch
"The next tier of badass!"

The head of the group. Beltboy calls the shots for his two friends, often serving as the reasonable one of three who motivates them to keep going forward. He is armed with an assortment of weapons with a seemingly limitless supply of ammunition, though he is not very good at aiming. He leads his companions on the quest to find the girl.

  • Adorkable: Aside from his dumb spiky mohawk, many of his moves are inspired by MLG montages. He’s also shown to care a great deal about his friends.
  • A Father to His Men: Comes to regard Lanks and Cyclops as his family. When he considers pulling out of the event in the Sports Dome for their own safety, Beltboy chooses to continue because he knows getting the girl means a lot to Cyclops.
  • Ass-Kicking Pose: Can later learn a move that allows him to do just this. It activates Super Cool Pose, which regenerates some HP and SP in between turns.
  • Attempted Rape: A victim of this when his group is captured by the Lovelies by the first time. Averted on the Rodriguez route, as the encounter is avoided completely.
  • Blinding Bangs: As a child.
  • Bottomless Magazines: He has a lot of ammo. In fact, how strong his shots are depends on the quality of his arsenal. Some victory quotes do allude to him running low on supply, but that never seems to actually occur.
  • Coats and Jackets: But no shirt, naturally.
  • Cool Shades: Adding to his hotshot nature.
  • Delinquent Hair: Has a mohawk at all times. Hair gels are helmets to him.
  • Finger Gun: A skill he can learn later that shoots out a laser beam with a water element. It weirds out enemies sometimes. He can later learn to use two. This is also enhanced if the weirdass arsenal is equipped.
  • Expy: Of Buckets the pistoleer or Ollie Nickels, all of them use guns as their main fighting style and tend to be careless with their ammo.
  • Guns Akimbo: Does this often without fail.
  • Heroic Sacrifice: Potentially. He attempts to defend Lanks and Cyclops from the Lovelies at the sportsdome, which can result in him either getting his knee shot (to no lasting effect), or his eye shot (which knocks him unconscious, and does later kill him, assuming he doesn't mutate first).
  • Hidden Depths: On the normal route, the game alludes to him not actually being interested in having sex with the girl. He just wants a female friend to be around with, much like how he enjoyed his time with a childhood friend. It also helps that he puts the lives of his companions before the rumor of a woman being alive. This is averted on the Rodriguez route, likely thanks to influence by Rodriguez himself.
  • Hollywood Healing: A shot to a knee, then a rest, a little bit of medical attention, and he's still able to leap great bounds later on.
    • Averted with the Definitive Edition: If certain options are taken, he loses an eye, crippling him for the next area and soon killing him.
  • I Just Want to Have Friends: In a sense, this is his ultimate goal, and he does confine to Lanks and Cyclops as his family. Them dying has him lonely once again. By the time he finds the girl, he makes it clear that he just wants a friend.
    • The Rodriguez route changes his motivation to wanting to start some families.
  • Infinity +1 Sword: The Gun God's Arsenal.
  • Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy: Better than most, as he actually does hit someone. He just can't aim worth a damn.
  • Irony: His fighting style consists of spraying an unreasonably excessive amount of bullets in all directions. He's potentially killed by a single, well-placed shot to the head.
  • The Leader: Takes over after Rodriguez gets murdered.
  • Moe Greene Special: His fate in both Cyclops' and Lanks' routes.
  • More Dakka: He cannot aim, but he sure can spray a lot of bullets. He also learns a few mores that is nothing but spraying, whether to intimidate or to hit multiple targets.
  • No Scope: Learns 360 No Scope early on, where he literally spins and fires a bullet from behind without fail. Later, he can learn 720 and 1800 variants for even greater damage.
  • Parental Neglect: Commented that his parents didn't really care what he did during his childhood.
  • Perpetual Smiler: With certain exceptions, he always smiles. Until he loses his friends...
    • Averted in the original version, where he would maintain a neutral expression at best.
  • Plot Armor: Averted with the Definitive Edition. It's entirely possible for him to get Killed Off for Real at the end of the fourth area if certain dialogue options are taken in the Sportsdome. Overlaps with Plotline Death.
  • Replacement Goldfish: His ultimate goal for the girl.
  • Sole Survivor: If the conditions aren't met for Lanks' or Cyclops' routes, he becomes this by default.
  • Take Cover!: Can do so after attacking. It gives him the Hide status, which reduces the chance of enemy attacks being able to touch you.
  • Tragic Keepsake: He keeps an item that belongs to Cyclops and Lanks after discovering their bodies on a Joyless run, or killing their mutated forms on a Joyed run. His kerchief becomes one for Lanks or Cyclops should he die.
  • Walking Shirtless Scene: Never puts a shirt on.
  • Worst Aid: On Cyclops' or Lanks' routes, assuming Beltboy had not taken any Joy prior to this, he will cover his ruptured eye wound by putting on an eye patch. Over his shattered sunglasses. He recovers from it as well as you'd expect.

Liam "Lanks" McCoy

The Heart of the trio, Lanks is the reluctant dweeb who hangs with Beltboy and Cyclops. He cannot actually fight anyone (in fact, his basic attack is just a slap, which works as well as you'd expect), and laments at his uselessness. He makes up for it by being a fairly competent support member who gains better abilities as the game goes on. He is often hesitant and weary, but goes along with Beltboy and Cyclops as a friend.

  • Adorkable: Just look at him!
  • Character Filibuster: Has a few moves involving giving speeches to his friends. We never see what he actually says, but some can increase their stats and grant buffs.
  • Cowardly Lion: Not oppose to the suggestions of running away or giving up. Neither is he opposed to supporting his friends.
  • Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Fireball 3 unleashes a lot of damage to everyone. An impressive endeavor for a total nerd. Also, equipping the Badass Bands makes his slapping ability actually viable (which can do about 1,000 damage), although that takes away his ability to perform special moves.
    • If the player chooses his route, he's able to weaponize his emotions to the point of giving himself super armor!
  • Distressed Dude: Ends up being captured twice by the Lovelies.
  • Driven to Suicide: If he hasn't taken Joy, he hangs himself during both Beltboy's and Cyclops' routes after being kidnapped by the Lovelies again.
  • Expy: Of Terry Hintz, possessing similar abilities and also being useless in combat under normal circumstances (early on anyway). Unlike Terry, he acknowledges how unhelpful he can be.
  • Gameplay and Story Segregation: Though his endgame skills make him effectively impervious to damage, he's still mortally wounded after his bout with Hart/Heart.
  • Good Scars, Evil Scars: Later takes a nasty head wound on any normal route, and carries that scar for the rest of the game.
  • Hidden Depths: Despite being geeky and wimpy, he knows how to hot wire a car, motivates his friends (even if he does get annoying), and can utilize bombs and fire balls against enemies. His secret route also implies he represses his emotions to an extreme degree. His ending also reveals that he was the one who broke up Beltboy from his friend, due to having discovered how manipulative she is to him.
  • Infinity +1 Sword: The Billionaire Bands.
  • Informed Flaw: During the sports competition, Cyclops accuses Lanks of being useless to the gang's progress. Lanks himself worries at multiple points that he's holding his friends back. However, his support moves play a vital role in gameplay. His ability to heal and buff his teammates is what allows them to outlast their opponents. That's to say nothing of the increasingly powerful fireball moves he learns (the third of which is especially useful in the Gibson orphanage area, where the gang repeatedly encounters multiple foes).
  • Kamehame Hadoken: Once he learns the fireball moves, he can join in on the fighting with his companions. His late-game fireballs on his hidden route surpass the likes of Brad or Mad Dog in terms of overall damage output.
  • Magikarp Power: While he starts with only a weak slapping attack and a mediocre healing move, he quickly learns how to shoot fireballs that can deal some damn good damage, as well as support moves that assist the entire party. Taken to the logical extreme on his secret route, where he gains an extremely powerful multi-hit attack as well as a move that makes him Nigh Invulnerable to all damage.
  • Manchild: He is later described as a man with a heart of a child. By no means is he any more immature than his friends, but he still lacks maturity in some areas, such as when discussing about women.
  • Momma's Boy: A piece of dialogue implies that he thinks strongly of his mother, or at least is more fond of her than he was of his father.
  • Nerd: Was one before the flash, and is one now.
  • Nerd Glasses: Always wears one. Becomes a tragic keepsake for Beltboy or Cyclops later on. It increases his hitrate when worn.
  • Nigh Invulnerable: The hidden skill Perseverance, gained at the start of his endgame path, grants him regenerating HP, SP, and defenses that make him impervious to most forms of attack.
  • Playing with Fire: He learns a set of fireball attacks.
  • Rape as Drama: Strongly implied to have been a victim of this thanks to the Lovelies. Averted in the Rodriguez route of the Definitive Edition, in which the group leaves the first area well before the Lovelies arrive, meaning that Rodriguez never gets killed for his wheels and the main trio never gets kidnapped. When Lanks finally does get captured near the endgame, Beltboy and Cyclops manage to back his (attempted) rapist, Craig Fuchs, into a corner before the latter can even lay a finger on Lanks.
  • The Stoic: Always wears that blank expression on his face.
  • Sole Survivor: Can be this of his group if certain dialogue options are taken in the Sportsdome.
  • Support Party Member: Starts off with a rather weak healing move, but he does get more effective status affecting abilities later on.
  • Took a Level in Badass: Bar none the strongest party member should he become the protagonist after the Sportsdome.
  • The Quiet One: To a degree. When Beltboy notices Lanks being oddly quiet about the Lovelies, he refuses to tell them what happened, out of fear that they may think less of him.
  • You Are Better Than You Think You Are: If the player elects to give Lanks a prep talk at the Sports Dome, he can potentially be the sole survivor.

Clyde "Cyclops" von Volger

The hot-headed muscle of the trio. Cyclops lacks an eye and is a football charger, attacking with his helmet, and is the strongest of the team, possessing the most HP of the group, and is very aggressive above all else. He is arrogant, not fond of weakness, and very dangerous to anyone that are not his friends.

  • The Berserker: Loves to attack using his helmet, tends to charge head on, and even learns a move where he can behave like a bull.
  • Does This Remind You of Anything?: He's big, throbbing, and very horny. A fact that is not over his head, and Hart will acknowledge and even welcome into his gang. Also proves to be fatal to him.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Will often make snide remarks at the group's expense.
  • Dumb Muscle: His secret route makes it clear that he's not entirely the sharpest tool in the shed. This proves to be fatal in the ending.
  • Expy: Of Rage Ironhead, both use their heads to deal high damage and can take a lot of punishment. They're also mostly in on the adventure just to score.
  • Eyepatch of Power: Not noticeable, but he does wear one. He either drops it upon being killed on the Joyful run or gives it to Beltboy on a Joyless one.
  • Face–Heel Turn: On Lanks' route, he betrays both Lanks and Beltboy to join the Lovelies.
  • Flipping the Bird: Can taunt his enemies this way to divert their attention.
  • Good Scars, Evil Scars: Lost his eye sometime before the Flash. Depending on certain dialogue options, he may also be burnt alive. And survive.
  • Infinity +1 Sword: The Horns of Orca.
  • Irony: Cyclops has a move that oils him up for added agility and luck. While really helpful to attack first and avoid attacks, he becomes very weak to fire. A fact that comes to bite him hard later on Beltboy's route.
  • Jerkass: He makes it clear that he's with the group to get to the girl to have sex with her... for the sake of humanity, of course! On the Rodriguez route, he is willing to abandon Lanks if it means he gets one step closer to the girl, which led to Rodriguez chewing him out for even suggesting that. On Lanks' route, he actually goes through with it and joins the Lovelies, even when Beltboy pulled a Heroic Sacrifice for their sake. Averted on his route, where he either follows Beltboy's plan to save Lanks, or makes it his mission to go save Lanks.
    • On the joyless run for Beltboy's route, he admits to being a total jerk, realizing that Beltboy had a point about prioritizing his friends over the rumors of a girl, and also asked him to apologize to Lanks in his stead, before shedding tears and passing away.
  • Made of Iron: Being lit on fire is not enough to kill him. On the joyless run, he'll even join Beltboy in combat, despite his injuries.
  • Man on Fire: His fate in Beltboy's route. Whether or not he initially survives depends on if he's taken Joy or not.
  • Please Wake Up: On his own secret route, he wakes up to find a fatally injured Beltboy motionless in the corner of the room... then passes it off as 'he's still sleeping'. Subverted in that turns out he's right, but it doesn't last long anyways...
  • Reality Ensues: In the Joyless run, and if on Beltboy's route, despite being able to walk off his burn injuries, he does eventually succumb to them, and no amount of beef jerky will cure away the infection that'll eventually get to him. Similarly on his route, attempting to rape a girl when you're fatally injured, and with no real means to fight her, goes about as well as you'd expect.
  • Scary Black Man: Has a large build, an aggressive attitude, is the tank of the trio, and looks very intimidating.
  • Sole Survivor: If certain dialogue options are taken in the Sportsdome, he's the only one left in the final act.
  • Take Up My Sword: If Beltboy dies and Lanks is kidnapped in the Definitive Edition, Cyclops alone will go on to defeat Hart.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: The player has the option to have Beltboy do this to Cyclops at the Sports Dome, including chewing him out for prioritizing the girl over his own friends. This can lead into him being a sole survivor and being more altruistic in his goals.
  • The Un-Reveal: No one asked him about how he lost his eye. When Beltboy mentioned that, he simply responds with "I never did."
  • Too Dumb to Live: After being mortally wounded fighting Hart in the end of his route, he nonetheless attempts to make an advance on The Girl. He's promptly flattened and dies apologizing to his friends.
  • Use Your Head: Cyclops' primary means of attack. Given that he's wearing a football helmet with metal spikes attached to it, it actually works reasonably well. No helmet, no attacking, as he learns the hard way in his ending.

Rodriguez Creed
"Godspeed, you worthless motherfuckers. Godspeed."

The boss of the trio who previously employed them for his fast food business prior to the flash. He had led the group for a while to do his work of finding the girl.

The Definitive Update allows him to become a playable character, if the player fulfills a side quest that involves getting him some tools, and the game's narrative completely changes as a result.

  • A Father to His Men: On his route, Rodriguez is pretty effective in leading his team. He's able to motivate them (either by getting frustrated, crying, or painting a target), keeps them on task, organized, and appears to be selfless in his quest.
    • Exemplified when he trusts Lanks to be able to act alone. When Lanks ends up getting captured, he prioritizes saving him over continuing his mission.
  • "Awesome McCool" Name: Rodriguez Creed.
  • Bottomless Magazines: Played with. When attacking normally, Rodriguez will only shoot one bullet at a time. His two skills that involve emptying the chamber(s) inflicts him with the reloading aliment, leaving him unable to attack for a few turns. The cheap-ass revolver prevents reloading, with a cost to attack power.
  • Conspiracy Theorist: Implied to have been one before the Flash, as he mentions that he ran a Talk Show and that the world was going downhill well before the apocalypse.
  • Cowboy: Fits the aesthetic, and is even referred to as such in a few instances.
  • Cutting the Knot: His route bypasses certain areas of the game, but also opens up unique areas to explore.
  • For Want of a Nail: In Pain Mode, finding that tool box makes a major difference in the overall narrative.
  • Guns Akimbo: Can later learn the 12 shot skill.
  • Hidden Depths: Similar to Beltboy, Rodriguez is not very enthusiastic about wanting to have sex with the girl and is well aware that having her around would mean they would be hunted for the rest of their lives. However, he is interested in starting another family.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Can be abrasive and demanding to the trio, but he does care for them, and has even passed down a few survival tips to help them survive prior to the game.
    • On the secret path, he chews out Cyclops for suggesting they go after the girl rather than rescue Lanks. He is also aware of what the Lovelies will do to other men.
  • Leave Him to Me: Can learn a skill that greatly buffs his attack power against an enemy of your choice.
  • Let's Split Up, Gang: Orders the gang to split up to find the girl, having Beltboy and Cyclops together, and him and Lanks going alone. With the Lovelies intercepting Lanks, it ends about as well as you'd expect.
  • Like a Son to Me: Implied to feel this way about Lanks. He's a lot less abusive when talking to Lanks than he is to Beltboy and Cyclops, trusts him to be able to handle recon work on his own, and he immediately puts the search for the girl on hold to go save Lanks after the latter gets kidnapped by the Lovelies.
  • Missing Child: He was once married and had a son. He acknowledges the possibility of him still being alive, but has not bothered to look for him.
  • Off with His Head!: Early in the normal route, he met this fate by the Lovelies.
  • Promoted to Playable: In Pain Mode, he laments about the poor state of the gang's car and how he wishes he had a toolbox to fix it. Beltboy can find one in the same area and hand it over to him. It turns out to be filled with worthless junk rather than tools, and a miffed Rodriguez chews out the trio for their incompetence before tagging along to prevent them from screwing off any longer.
  • The Precious, Precious Car: Appears to value his own vehicle and is sorrowful over how beat up it is. In either route, it ends up getting abandoned for one reason or another.
  • Revolvers Are Just Better: His weapon of choice.
  • Shoo Out the Clowns: A downplayed example. If the player goes out of their way to recruit Reginald, Rodriguez will insist to not have him join their party. After Lanks got captured, he couldn't afford to be picky, so he allows Reginald to join them.
  • Support Party Member: Similar to Lanks, with a greater focus on buffs and debuffs. He can paint targets to increase damage, motivate his team into working harder or faster, and has some decent restoration abilities. Helps that he draws from TP instead of SP, although that also means he's unable to recover TP other than guard/attack and get hit.
  • The Mentor: He taught Beltboy how to use guns. Although it appears he never was able to get him to aim properly...
  • We Hardly Knew Ye: He gets killed off before we get to really know him. Averted in a secret Pain Mode-exclusive path, where he tags along with the gang before the Lovelies can get him and actually survives to the endgame.
  • You Owe Me: Does this to Mr. Masters (Yogurt Master's father) and acquires a master's scroll. He quickly chews him out for being given a fake and receives the real one with it.

Yogurt Masters

The first enemy you encounter in the game. He likes to pick on people to try out his martial arts style.The definitive update adds more backstory to him, but only if you go through the Rodriguez route.

  • Arrogant Kung-Fu Guy: Has no problems with meditating just to tune out people he finds annoying, and is just as eager to get into fights.
  • Blood Knight: He enjoys martial arts. He goes along with the gang in search of opportunities to fight and hone his skills.
  • Crutch Character: He is almost as much of a tank as Cyclops is, possesses stances that can let him regenerate HP or SP, or allow him to counter-attack. He learns some strong, damaging moves early on, and his "weapon" upgrades up to two times if he levels up enough. His only handicap is that he suffers from depression, which can be temporarily relieved with some joy.
  • Defrosting Ice Queen: On the Rodriguez route, he becomes a little more friendly towards the group and even considers sticking with them.
  • Didn't See That Coming: Escaping from Yogurt Masters results in him slowly floating back to the ground, awkwardly staring at Beltboy, before he returns to his spot to repeat the fight. Doing this is required to get the boomerang in order to unlock Reginald and Rodriguez (the latter is for Pain Mode only).
  • Exact Words
    Rodriguez: "HOLD IT."
    Yogurt Masters: "Held." while floating in the air
  • I Am Not My Father: Late game dialogue reveals that he does not like his father as he sees him as a mere imitator of other martial arts styles, and broke away from him so he can learn on his own. Ironically, Yogurt's own style seems to be cobbled together from other schools, seeing as he's not described as adhering to a specific one.
  • Kamehame Hadoken: Shoots fireballs, channeling from his ki.
  • Lethal Joke Character: Looks ridiculous, has a dumb name, and is the first enemy you fight. Never the less, careless players can have a party member KO'd, wasting a bottle of perfume after the battle. He is less of a joke, and a lot more lethal later on...
  • Promoted to Playable: Previously was only a boss you would have to face. On the alternate story route of the definitive update, Rodriguez hires him in exchange for passing on his master's secret art.
  • Sour Supporter: Much more pessimistic than his compatriots and generally has a grim, reserved demeanor. Following the fight against Hart, he's absolutely certain that his friends and him are going to die.
  • The Stoic: Never breaks his neutral expression, even if the situation does get weird.

"Hello... would you like something? I think I know what it iiiiis..."

The shop keep who is found at certain parts of Olathe. Always eager to sell some wares and goods to Beltboy and his crew. He can join them in their quest if they manage to find pink candy for him.

  • And Then John Was a Zombie: The third time the player finds him, he had already become one unless the player goes through the process of recruiting him earlier.
  • Ascended Extra: In the original version, little more than an NPC with two lines of dialogue who later turns into a mutant. Later updates made him a secret party member, and the Definitive Edition turns him into a major character who shows up in to face Hart in the ending!
  • Big Damn Heroes: Shows up to save Beltboy, Rodriguez and Cyclops from the Lovely blockade at the base of the cliff.
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: Comparatively oblivious to the happenings of the game should he be recruited. It's implied that he takes Joy because he thinks it's candy.
  • Glass Cannon: Has the lowest HP pool of everybody, and does not possess the most remarkable move list. Does not help that his amp up move adds in taunt, making him a bigger target. What makes him very cannon like is that he can learn Businessman Buster, which is very powerful. Prior to this, he does have some AOE attacks and heals, which may not be very damaging or healing, but it does attack/heal multiple targets at once. He can also take joy with no withdrawal systems or risk of mutation.
  • Guest-Star Party Member: See Crutch Character above, averted during the Rodriguez route, where he returns after Lanks is kidnapped
  • Immune to Drugs: Is impervious to the negative effects of joy (doubling as healing items for him without being locked into a bad outcome), but only if the player completes the side quest to recruit him.
  • Missing Child: The Rodriguez route end game has Reginald reveal that he was searching for his son. He gave up previously, but decided to try again after being motivated by Beltboy's kindness.
  • Optional Party Member: A rather obtuse side quest makes it possible to recruit him into the gang. He is not that much more effective than Lanks, until he learns Businessman Buster...
  • Perpetual Smiler: Sports a grin on his face 24/7.
  • Shopkeeper: His role. He's so respected, one of the inhabitants within the Sportsdome will find it unusual that he is not manning the shop stand.
  • Sweet Tooth: Apparently has a fondness for candy, and you have to give him some to recruit him. In fact, it's implied he thinks Joy is candy, hence why he's an addict.
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: Completely disappears from the ending, no matter how the game ends.

     Rival Gangs 

Gordy Golden & The Engine Enthusiasts

Led by Gordy Golden, the Engine Enthusiasts are lovers of everything relating to motor vehicles. In fact, Gordy used to be the manager of the Olathian Outback's DMV. On the normal route, the gang kidnaps the main trio and holds them for ransom. However, on the Rodriguez route, said manager (unwittingly) shields them from Dixon Bismuth's Dumbass Smasher, preventing them from getting kidnapped, and the conflict with them is mostly avoided. That is, until Gordy finds out what you did to Bismuth...

  • A Father to His Men: Gordy cares deeply about his gang members, and his main motivation for attacking Beltboy on the Rodriguez route is because he beat up one of his own.
  • Big Bad Wannabe: Gordy aspires to be a big war lord in Olathe.
  • Hidden Depths: Some members of the organization behave and talk problems out like any other human would... unless they see someone they perceive as an enemy.
  • Not so Fast, Bucko!: You can avoid area 1 by recruiting Rodriguez, but you cannot avoid the Golden Shower!
  • Punny Name: Gordy Golden Shower. Gets spelled out in Rodriguez route.
  • Put on a Bus: Effectively disappear from the game after Gordy is defeated.
    • The Bus Came Back: Just in time for the Sports Dome arc as competitors. Lampshaded by Nico Nickels.
    "See you later!"
    Two areas later: "Told ya!"
  • Tap on the Head: Dixon Bismuth somehow instantly knocks out the entire party with one swing of the Dumbass Smasher. Beltboy even comments that it's impressive that he managed to knock out all three of them at once.
    • In the Rodriguez route, Dixon crashes into Rodriguez and knocks him out instead.
  • Theme Naming: Every member of the Engine Enthusiasts' last names come from minerals.
  • The Precious, Precious Car: They are all obsessed with motor vehicles. This includes one joy mutant who is seen... fornicating or forming with a car, not to mention the porn mags they have of anthropomorphized... cars.
  • Starter Villain: Antagonizing Beltboy for magazines and loot is pretty much his contribution to the story.

The Kegger Krew

A gang of drunks who run their own brewery and are perpetually drunk. Lead by Coldstein Kegger, they are revered as peaceful, kind men who will help out their fellow man... that is if they aren't drunk.

  • The Alcoholic: Every member of the Kegger Krew is perpetually drunk.
  • Anti-Villain: In fact, they wouldn't even be villains if they weren't always drunk off their asses.
  • Burn Baby Burn: Turns out alcohol and fire really don't mix. As most of the crew find out the hard way.
  • Gonk: Granted, a lot of characters in the LISA universe fit this trope, but this gang seems to have the most Gonky characters of them all.
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: They can quickly turn from nice to mean when alcohol is involved. Unfortunately for the player, they run a brewery.
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero!: The krew are very generous people, so generous they'll even lend them a vehicle. Then Beltboy mentions the possibility of there being a girl...
    • Subverted in the Rodriguez route... until said manager ends up double-subverting it.
  • Off Screen Moment Of Awesome: They save Beltboy and his friends from the swamp forest and provide them shelter too.

The Sportsters and the Sports King

The Sportsters is a community of sportsmen who take sports very seriously. Their leader, the Sports King, is said to have never been seen by anyone outside his gang, but is reported to be all muscle. He runs the sports dome, has a habit of trapping people into contracts, and provides electricity to nearby settlements, that is if they're willing to watch his program. The Sportsters had claimed to have kidnapped the girl, with the King offering to potential competitors a fair shot at sports-ball to claim her.

  • The Beastmaster: They've somehow managed to (sort of) tame Joy Mutants.
  • Boom, Headshot!: The Sports King meets his fate this way on the normal route, even after answering honestly to Hart.
  • Evil Counterpart: Downplayed. Team Mexican Pink is this to Beltboy and crew, being a group of tight-knit friends fighting and traveling together. Will, like Beltboy, is confident and aesthetically showy, while Franklin resembles Cyclops and Ronald holds Lanks's quiet demeanor.
  • Honor Before Reason: They take sportsmanship very seriously, and will not actually fight unless they are competing, or they have a very good reason to do so. Averted by two characters: the guy who offers to poison the opponent teams' food for 100 magazines, and the Sports King, who doesn't have the girl captive and never intended to give her away to anyone else except his own crew.
  • No Fair Cheating: After Beltboy's crew beats the Sportsters' team, the king accuses them of cheating and brings out a Joy Mutant to kill them off.
  • Offscreen Moment of Awesome: They've somehow managed to keep several Joy Mutants under control.
  • The Reveal: Their leader is actually obese and bound to a wheel-chair.
  • Theme Naming: All of them have some sports reference in their names; examples are Terry Tackles and Hussein Volt.
  • The Unfought: Their arc is completely bypassed on the Rodriguez route, with the exception of killing the Sportster team and the tournament staff in order to escape.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: When fighting the Sports King the subordinate escorting the joy mutant, Ashley Hike, will run away if the mutant is killed.

The Lovelies

A gang of men who wear helmets containing the heart symbol. They have no problems with indulging on their own sexual desires on anyone, regardless of their consent. When rumors of a girl were being circulated, they follow their leader Hart to find her and destroy anything that they perceive as an obstacle.

  • Anything That Moves: While they're searching for the girl, they'll take anyone they perceive as sexually enticing and... you get the idea.
  • Back for the Dead: Quite a few of the Lovelies will come back after being beaten as Joy Mutants. Of course, they meet the fate of getting killed again as mutants.
  • Body Horror: A lot of them, particularly in the late-game, become Joy Mutants as a way of going One-Winged Angel.
  • Dwindling Party: There's dozens of them at the beginning and quite a few are Recurring Extra roles as Hart's entourage, but as the game goes on, Beltboy kills more and more of the recurring Lovelies until there are only seven left in the final area.
  • The Faceless: None of them are seen without their masks.
  • My Master, Right or Wrong: They have absolutely no problem following Hart, even if it means the battles they enter may result in them mutating into Joy mutants.
  • One-Winged Angel: Some of the Lovelies will consume some Joy until they mutate. On the Rodriguez route, this includes the four Lovelies normally killed before the final battle.
  • Punny Name: Their names are plays on regular names and sexual innuendos (e.g. Wayne King, Biggie Cummings).
  • Rape as Drama: While we don't see them in the act, there are plenty of clues that allude to this.
  • Theme Naming: As mentioned above, all of their names are sexual innuendos.
  • Visual Innuendo: Wang Phatt's Joy mutated form makes him live up to his name, to say the least.
  • White Mask of Doom: All of them wear white masks with nothing but a heart on it.

"Howdy doo-dee."

The leader of the Lovelies, the most powerful (and ruthless) gang in Backwater Olathe. After hearing about a girl in Olathe, he orders his army to tear the lands inside out in order to find her, just to have her all to himself.

  • Affably Evil: Always comes off as a pleasant individual to Beltboy and is even merciful to him... as long as he gives up something that is.
  • Asskicking Equals Authority and Authority Equals Asskicking: The uncontested leader of The Lovelies. Unlike Rando's Army, Lovelies obediantly follow his orders (possibly because he lets them indulge in random violence whereas Rando did not). He's also the most powerful enemy in the game other than possibly the bonus boss. Either way, even if Beltboy, Lanks or Cyclops manages to beat him, they're fatally wounded in the process and die shortly after (with the exception of a Joyless Beltboy route). On the "true" path, he and his men manage to do it to Beltboy and all of his friends.
  • Big Bad: While there are other gangs the party encounters, they turn out to be either incompetent or, in the Sportsters' case, make amends with the party. Hart is the only successful antagonist, and he's ultimately the final villain.
  • The Faceless: Is never seen without his mask on. In the Joyless run, his mask does break when he turns into a Joy mutant.
  • Flunky Boss: Averted on the normal routes, as the survivor will simply kill his remaining men very quickly right before the proper boss fight. Played straight in the Rodriguez route for balance reasons.
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: Will so much as shoot a guy in the face just for saying what he doesn't like to hear.
  • Hidden Depths: Despite occasionally leaving some of his men to fend for themselves on the hunt for the girl, he expresses concern and grief over the heavy losses of his "lovely boys", implying that he does care for them in his own way.
  • Hopeless Boss Fight: Played with. While Brad could futilely try to battle Buzzo, Beltboy doesn't even have the option to try beating Hart. When he, Lanks, or Cyclops (possibly AND, as well as having Reginald, Rodriguez and Yogurt Masters)finally face off against him, they're inevitably mortally wounded in the process.
  • I Just Want to Be Loved: On any normal route and on a Joyless run he reveals at the end of his boss fight that he is desperately in need of being loved.
  • Knight of Cerebus: This game is largely more lighthearted than the official games due to a more comedic main cast, and most of the gangs encountered are either sympathetic or goofy. Hart, on the other hand, is a sadistic sex addict with an entire gang just like him, and he's largely responsible for the game taking a very dark turn towards the end.
  • Large and in Charge: Has a large and muscular build, and the attack power to prove it.
  • Not So Different: On Cyclops' route, he will point out how much he can fit with his gang, and is willing to share the girl with him.
  • Off with His Head! / Your Head Asplode: How he dies in a sole survivor's Joyful ending. Doubles as Death by Irony considering this is how he killed Rodriguez in the beginning.
  • One-Winged Angel:
    • In the joyless run, he will continually consume joy so he can mutate. Averted on the joyful run, as Beltboy/Lanks/Cyclops will lob his head off before he has the chance to mutate.
    • In the Rodriguez route, his last four Mooks will fight alongside him at the start of the battle, but will all mutate at once when they're beaten. Hart still mutates to Heart when he's beaten, as well.
  • Punny Name: Say it out loud and look at his gang's emblem.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: He isn't as eager to kill Beltboy or his crew without a good reason doing so, and will often be merciful to him.
  • Villainous Breakdown: In the Rodriguez route, he starts losing his mind at Beltboy and crew when he mutates.
  • Worthy Opponent: On Beltboy's route, he comes to regard Beltboy as one. He even mentions that he'll be willing to share the girl with him if he ceases his assault.

Gar Strings

A fish-like man found in the caves beneath the Gibson Orphanage. Him and his cult worship worship the Gods that are allegedly beneath the waves.

  • Blindfolded Vision: He seems to have bandages around his eyes, yet he can hit you just fine.
  • Creepy Child: Possibly one of the kids from the ruined orphanage all grown up.
  • Cult: The leader of one.
  • Did Not Think This Through: As he prepares an epic speech, Beltboy informs him that there's no reason for his behavior as humanity can be saved and the girl has been found. Disappointed, but not completely discouraged, he decides he'll find the girl to sacrifice her to his god.
  • Doppelgänger Attack: His second phase has his reflection in the water attack you!
  • Eldritch Abomination: The way Gar describes his Gods makes them seem very Lovecraftian.
    "Never in your life will you see something so resplendent... the truth beneath the waves; the ones that slumber under your feet."
  • Eye Scream: The bandages on his eyes imply that something happened to his eyes, which also gives him a sort of Blind Seer vibe.
  • Human Sacrifice: What he and his cult have been doing in the years since the flash. They wait for people to wander into the caves and drown them in the roaring waters. This is also what he plans to do with the girl once he finds her.
  • Making a Splash: Uses lots water-based attacks.
  • Shock and Awe: In addition to water attacks, he can also shoot electricity at you. When combined with the Wet status condition that some of his attacks inflict, he can deal out some devastating damage.

     Bonus Bosses (Spoilers

Jano Rassoul

"Your fucking obsession is abnormal."

The former child actor himself. A LISA fandom in-joke who appears as a very frustrating Pain Mode-exclusive boss that is fought in place of Reginald in Area 3, if he has already been recruited beforehand.

The Hard/Top/High/Hardest Rider

"So be it."

Found at the last village before the final section of the game. He waits inside a metal dome, awaiting a potential challenger to take him on.

  • Badass Biker: To the extreme.
  • Bonus Boss: Especially if you happen to fight him on Rodriguez' route, where he gains an additional form that cranks up his difficulty to something comparable, if not worse, to Jano.
  • Doppelgänger Attack: Has the ability to create afterimages, who also begin to attack you.
  • Harder Than Hard: On the Rodriguez route, he has a unique phase that makes him even more dangerous.
  • High-Speed Battle: Kind of. While the party is not moving at high speed, The Rider is constantly riding inside his globe of death, and not only goes so fast that his afterimages start attacking you, he winds up catching on fire as the Hardest Rider, which somehow heals him as apposed to being an annoyance.
  • Man on Fire: His additional form in Rodriguez' route has him catch on fire, presumably a result of his immense speed.
  • Marathon Boss: The Rider is not only extremely durable, but will recover a lot of it back with each turn, and will not relent on killing you. He also has a second phase in Rodriguez' route that, while not having as much health as previously, can still heal at an absurd rate.
  • Pre-Asskicking One-Liner: That above quote? That's what signifies he's transitioning into his Hardest Rider form.
  • Red Eyes, Take Warning: Sports this in the boss fight proper.
  • Trial-and-Error Gameplay: Beating him requires knowledge on his unique status aliments and how to respond accordingly, which effectively telegraphs the moves he will perform. Otherwise, loads of supplies and persistence can also prevail.

All spoilers in the following folder are unmarked. You Have Been Warned.

     Spoiler Character 

The Girl/Five

As it turns out, the girl that the characters are chasing after is not Buddy but an entirely different young woman, nicknamed "Five." The whole game is about finding her after rumors of her being sighted came to light. She was supposedly captured by the sports king, but later escaped and found her way into a small building where she barricades herself from the lovelies. Depending on who is the lone survivor (or not) determines how she reacts.

  • Action Girl: Played with. We don't really see if she's effective in combat. Her ending with Cyclops does have her imply to have experience in fighting, and she is able to beat him down to the last breath with her bare fists. The fact that she's constantly on the run, and managed to elude other captors has to be telling enough.
  • And the Adventure Continues: In Beltboy's Joyless ending, Five patches up Beltboy and asks for his help with something. The pain mode ending reveals that she is most definitely not the only woman out there, and she needs help finding the others.
  • Bare Your Midriff: Depending on the ending, she can appear without her poncho, wearing wraps on her chest and wrists.
  • Distressed Damsel: Of a sort. It's unknown what her situation is for most of the game, but when she's finally found, Hart's gang is trying to force their way into her hideout and she backs away in fear if the survivor is a joy mutant. She's however capable of beating Cyclops in a fight, and shrugs off any bottles and bombs thrown at her.
  • Good Old Fisticuffs: Capable of punching Cyclops to death. Those handwraps were not for show.
  • Hidden Eyes
  • Jerkass: Reminiscent of Buddy in this regard. Five has no qualms about kicking Clyde while he's down or leaving Lanks (or the entire party) to die. Justified, since Lanks or Cyclops end up saying the wrong things that has her understandably be distrusting of them, with both claiming that they need to save the human race. The Rodriguez ending also justifies her not being willing to help them out, due to her being paranoid about any of them possibly jumping her.
  • Living MacGuffin: As far as Backwater Olathe is concerned, she is the only female left. In Beltboy's Joyless Pain Mode ending, it's revealed that she knows that there are other survivors.
  • Missed Him by That Much: In the Rodriguez route, she can be spotted right when the crew discusses splitting up, missing her completely.
  • Mythology Gag: In the Joyless run, she will ask Beltboy to help her with something. The original plot of The Painful was going to be about a little girl asking Brad to perform a job for her.
  • No Name Given: They are simply referred to as "The Girl." The definitive update in the Joyful ending for any character confirms that her name is Five, which is very likely her nick name.
  • Pet the Dog: If Beltboy is the lone survivor, she decides to help him treat his wounds when he made it clear that he isn't interested in sex.
  • Properly Paranoid: As one of the last women around, she has good reason to be mistrustful around men, and that fear is vindicated by Cyclops' solo ending, where he actually does attempt to rape her.
  • Shoot the Dog: For the Rodriguez route, she chooses to let Beltboy and his friends die, thinking that helping any of them would put her in danger.
  • Walking Spoiler: There's a reason why this character is inside her own separate folder.

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