General
- You need to constantly lie to your loved ones about their successes and humor their antics. It's the only way to make them have confidence in themselves.
- Girls are brave, strong, powerful, funny... not to mention completely nuts and hyper-sensitive to everything! They'll burst into tears over something at the drop of a hat!
- Following this logic, it's okay for men to feel bad about themselves, but women feeling bad about themselves is inexcusable. If she doesn't shrug off her insecurities, she will literally rip apart at the seams or turn evil. Or both.
- Wait, scratch that, men will do that too.
- Following this logic, it's okay for men to feel bad about themselves, but women feeling bad about themselves is inexcusable. If she doesn't shrug off her insecurities, she will literally rip apart at the seams or turn evil. Or both.
- Remember: thousands of years of incompetence, tragedy, heartbreak, and female rule were only undone and ultimately made better by male influence. Ladies, you can not live fulfilling lives without a man in your life, whether it's a romantic relationship or not.
- Same-sex relationships are only something an alien whose species only has one gender would do.
- Single people will always be inferior to people in couples. Sure homosexuality, bisexuality, and heterosexuality are fine, but asexuals and single people can never be happy or reach their full potential.
- Abuse, slavery, genocide...there's really nothing you can't be forgiven for if you cry hard enough.
- Accidentally having sex with a coworker in front of your boss is the basis for a strong and lasting relationship and worth throwing away everything for.
- Bringing a child with absolutely no combat or self-defense training with you on dangerous missions will always work out fine.
- Women aren't human beings until they have babies.
- Children make good soldiers
- Singing musical numbers will always solve all your problems.
Episode Specific
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Season One
"Gem Glow"
- If you and your family almost get killed by an acid-spewing monster, clearly your biggest concern should be your favorite ice cream running out.
- Ice Cream can help you unlock magic powers. Eat a ton of it.
- Is a dangerous object headed towards your home? Throw your friends at it.
- Leave your powerful weapon with your significant other, but don't tell him that his catchphrase activates it. That won't be important or anything when he needs to use it after you're dead.
- If your child is in distress over losing control of his body, just leave him behind. There's a "tectonic emergency" that definitely requires all three of you.
- Having sentient cats at the end of your fingers is adorable and not disturbing at all.
- The best place to ride a bicycle is on a sandy beach.
- If you want to become friends with a girl, stalk her, then trap her in a small area with you and put her in a life-threatening situation where she has to become your friend or die.
- If a girl from out of town drops her glow bracelet, you should keep it in your freezer on the off-chance she inexplicably shows up in your town again later. This won't be seen as creepy by her at all.
- Professional wrestling is totally real.
- Cheating is absolutely okay. It's everyone else's fault they're not superhuman with super strength.
- Loneliness and boredom are perfectly valid excuses for being a public menace.
- You should definitely give said public menace a wand that can duplicate things. Especially if it's for a toy you can get in a vending machine.
- You can trade things that don't belong to you.
- You can break other people's things if you're feeling lazy.
- There are zero ramifications legally for trying to hit people with cars.
- Stick to eating donuts all the time. Exercise will only bring you unbearable pain.
- Really, fitness isn't a priority for a kid who wants to grow up to defend the earth.
- If your child is inspired to do something healthy by someone you don't like, you should shame the child.
- If someone gets angry for being abandoned they're clearly unstable and should never be brought out again.
- Fighting someone twice your size who intends to kill you is possible because you're smarter than them.
- It's okay to hurt someone if they're kind of a jerk and don't return your romantic feelings.
- Add strange things to your friend's food on the suggestion of a relative with questionable behaviors. They said it was funny after all.
- Spitting in your friend's drink will heal her eyesight. Always backwash!
- Whenever your family tells you something, tell your friends they said you were worthless. It's like you're warping what they said! ... wait a moment...
- If an object suddenly begins speaking to you, help it out This can end with new friends.
- Stealing the entire frickin' ocean and putting it back will have zero negative repercussions on the ecosystem.
- You can breathe and talk in space. Nothing freezes in space.
- Faking an injury is the only way to get your child to spend time with you.
- How do you fix a volatile space rock about to explode? Duct tape!
- If a child's parent says they can't go to space, ignore them and kidnap the child.
- You should trap someone on an island so you can put the moves on them.
- The best way to help someone emotionally open up is to knowingly trap them on an island.
- You are totally justified in being mad at someone you trapped, it's their fault for not acclimating properly.
- You can miss work for weeks and not lose your job, even if you're the only employee.
- You can fight and win against a monstrous beast if you can catch fish fairly well.
- Fake things like Snake People are ridiculous. Living sentient gemstones that manifest in humanoid form and can create weapons from pure light while facing down unusual mutated monsters not natural to Earth's ecosystem and regularly endanger humans? That's the real stuff.
- You should support someone's delusions for their comfort.
- You absolutely should not bring your parent to meet your friend's parents if they're averse to eating.
- You absolutely should not bring your parent to meet your friend's parents if they're not much of a talker.
- You absolutely should not bring your parent to meet your friend's parents if they're a messy eater.
- You absolutely should bring your parent to meet your friend's parents if they're a giant, monstrous, six-armed freak with two mouths who is all of these things and is thus awkward at best and a chaotic mess at worst.
- If your friend is afraid to tell their parents you have three alien guardians who regularly take you on dangerous missions, they're ashamed of you.
- Hopping on a bus headed to a destination you don't know of without telling anyone is a great idea.
- Stopping a bus with your bare hands is a totally possible thing.
- If your child is obviously scared and anxious about something, sneer at them and gaslight them for the entire day. Then tone-police them when they have a point and never apologize for your condescension when they turn out to be right.
- A boy and girl combined will create a beautiful adult woman.
- A beautiful adult woman is the perfect metaphor for puberty.
- It's okay to pull the Male Gaze what's two kids combined
- People will forget about you trying to sacrifice someone else pretty quickly.
- Did you get bullied as a kid? Feed the bully to a sentient wall. You're doing it to save someone else.
- Traumatizing your child with the absolute worst-case scenarios is the best way to teach them about not stalling.
- As a parent, if your vehicle breaks down in the midst of a blizzard and you have to hike for hours with your child and the child of another couple in order to reach the latter child's home: do it. It's perfectly safe.
- If your keys get lost in the snow, you cannot find them until it thaws. Scooping through the snow is not an option, they are gone. Accept it, your keys are lost to the gods and goddesses of the seasons. Do not argue this logic, your keys are gone, do you hear? They're in the snow, the winter horror has them.
- If you tried to deliberately traumatize someone by bringing up their dead partner and even shapeshifting to look like them, it's water under the bridge if you clean some of their stuff for them.
- It's okay to scream at your child and rub it in their face that their mother died giving birth to them because said mother had a lion you didn't know about.
- If someone's upset and needs time alone, chase them down. Don't listen when they tell you to leave them alone
- You won't be held accountable by anyone for knowingly letting your child fall to their death if you're sad.
- If you have an urgent, time-sensitive message for someone and you're living on a planet where visual communicators definitely exist, you should send it in the form of obnoxiously loud ringing that requires extensive audio equipment to make any sense of.
- If you want to warn someone of impending doom, don't give any details or names.
- If at first you don't succeed... you're a failure and should go back to just not thinking of a solution.
- Musical equipment can sync with alien technology.
- If you're responsible for the power going out city-wide, it's simply not your problem to fix and humans have survived without electricity for years.
- The power going out for an extensive period of time in a tourist spot is not a big deal.
- If a politician lies to you, it means they love you.
- You should definitely let your child go fight an unknown threat because he possesses a weapon he barely knows how to use.
- A ship about to fire at you is the perfect time to argue.
- If you can control water and are right next to the ocean, don't use this against your adversary. Instead, use it to trap the both of you indefinitely so you can have a dramatic Heroic Sacrifice.
- Friend tries to help you escape a kidnapping? Nah, just give in, maybe the violent kidnapper will be merciful.
- If your fan-favorite character's popularity explodes because of a big reveal that changes everything about the way you look at them, remove what made them popular in the first place and make that their only gimmick for the rest of the series.
Season Two
"Say Uncle"
- If you're meeting someone for the first time and want to endear yourself to them, you should dress up like their dead mother.
- If a weird older guy claims to be your uncle and grandpa, you should spend time with them.
- "Weird is okay" is a good excuse for a complete stranger with reality-warping powers to aim death rays at your child and essentially trap you so they can take them to an unknown location.
- Trespassing is perfectly okay if it's to give someone a shirt.
- Aliens who appear out of beams of light and can shapeshift aren't frightening at first sight at all.
- You should definitely give up on your dreams and stake your future on someone you just met.
- If you get called out for trying to condition someone with confidence issues into sacrificing themselves for another person, play the pity card and get them to apologize to you!
- A character doing dark and horrible things like conditioning a child to sacrifice themselves is just them "being human."
- The best kind of mental breakthrough for an adult is during an intense situation where you shout out your adoration for their dead parent.
- Smashing a tower into rubble is dangerous and irresponsible; Sending full segments of the tower flying aimlessly with a hammer is far safer.
- While we're on the subject, if you want to prevent your nemesis from rebuilding said tower, you should simply disassemble it instead of destroying it outright. It's cool and stylish this way, efficiency be damned.
- You must team up with only one of your partners, not both.
- Deserts at night are totally warm enough to require absolutely no extra clothing for a human child. He can survive what is 3.9c/25f just fine.
- If at first, you don't succeed...do the exact same thing again, with no changes to the plan.
- If you're legitimately worried the stranger you're buying from might be a murderer, go alone and do not bring the ultra-strong woman with you.
- Square pizza is worse than boiling a swimming pool or freezing the pipes in a motel.
- Property damage can be fixed with a quick payment, the authorities won't get involved.
- Anyone that dislikes you is a petty bitch that hates complexity in people.
- "People have flaws" is a good excuse for handling those flaws poorly.
- Patting someone on the head means you're in love with them.
- Idolizing someone is a valid reason to manipulate them into G-Rated Sex multiple times.
- If someone manipulates someone into G-Rated Sex multiple times it's clearly a cry for help and the manipulator should be coddled because they're obviously the victim.
- The best way to resolve a conflict where one character feels violated by another and needs space from them for a while is to put the two of them in a situation where they're forced to forgive them or die.
- People can detach their feet.
- The six-armed...thing with no head being admitted into the hospital is definitely a human that was just mangled in an accident.
- If your stethoscope doesn't detect a heartbeat on the six-armed thing with no head, there's something wrong with the stethoscope.
- You should definitely question the existence of magic while under a magical protective bubble.
- Your mother is way too overprotective if she's against the idea of you basically becoming a child soldier. Slaughtering some creatures in front of her will change her mind, though.
- That kid owns a lion. There is nothing weird about that.
- It's perfectly safe to confront an enemy for information alone.
- It's perfectly safe to be in the bathroom with said enemy alone.
- Ultra-powerful beings can't get past wooden doors.
- A lifetime of prejudice and evil deeds can be redeemed just by feeling the rain on your skin.
- It's better to withhold information and die than to ask for help.
- A petty gem-measuring contest in robotics is an excellent reason to delay production on a weapon to stop a Doomsday Device whose activation is imminent.
- Also, construction on a drill will take weeks, or even months for a five-man team. However, two people can build two fully functional mechs in a matter of seconds.
- Chucking cars in the distance is perfectly safe.
- Fantastic Racism is wrong not because it's awful and regressive, but because this particular member of that race works really hard and isn't like the other members of their race.
- If you lose, you actually win.
- When all else fails, violence is the answer.
"Too Far"
- If you want someone to learn the ways and etiquette of your culture, punish them when they make a mistake without telling them why.
- A foreigner not knowing about your culture makes them funny.
- It's quirky and charming for someone to make jokes about your family based on prejudice. Encourage it! When they start making jokes about you based on facts, however, that's when they've gone too far. Then you have the right to act spiteful and bitter towards them for the rest of the day (without telling them why, of course), even after they risk their life to save yours.
- Telling everyone that Love at First Sight is unrealistic is fine when you yourself fell in love at first sight.
- Don't question a good thing ever, even when it nearly gets you killed the moment you do it.
- Throwing away your life for someone you just met is a rational and romantic decision
- A birthday party is a perfect reason to delay production on a weapon to stop a Doomsday Device whose activation is imminent.
- Someone growing in only a few seconds isn't anything to be suspicious about.
- If there's a monster at the center of the Earth that can destroy that planet at any minute, there's no hurry to destroy it. If you're worried, you're overworking yourself and you need to take a moment to relax and stare at the sunset. Maybe write a song or two.
- Pushing someone off a roof only warrants a mild scolding.
- When you know someone is invading the privacy of another, don't stop them. Scold them instead after the deed is done.
Season Three
"Same Old World"
- Off-handedly reveal that a known character is the root cause of another known character's trauma, and then never bring it up again.
- If you got called out for drawing characters Off-Model, just joke about it on Twitter and continue to draw characters off-model.
- Jersey is terrible
- Remember that person who played a part in your past trauma? Well, you're going to be living with them now. Not ready to forgive them just yet? Be prepared to be treated like a rude, inconsiderate stick-in-the-mud. It doesn't matter if you weren't there to see their development; they're not evil anymore. Just take the hero's word for it! Suck it up and become besties, already.
- Bonus points if said hero didn't force two of his guardians to make up, even when their battle effectiveness was actually affected by it, and double bonus points if said hero didn't force one of his guardians to make up with his father but let both conflicts resolve naturally. You're a peripheral character so get used to the plot ignoring your trauma and the part everyone else played in it.
- You should definitely shove both a character that needs more development and a fan-favorite people want to see more of in the green room until it's time to have an episode about them.
- If someone helps you out and you fail, blame them and their skill.
- If five soldiers land on your turf, you can trick them into leaving by beating them at baseball. They'll be dumb enough to go along with it.
- If you're approached by Mooks you can easily defeat, you should just challenge them to a game of baseball.
- Mouthing off to a fascist dictator isn't that big of a deal.
- If you're in a high-stakes game with the life of a teammate on the line, there will be very few repercussions if you decide to risk your cover story by flirting with your partner. You guys are cute after all, and no one will hold it against you when your cover is inevitably blown.
"Mr. Greg"
- If you're going on a trip, don't bring your entire family; just the two most likely to argue.
- Doing this knowing the two have issues isn't manipulative at all.
- You should sing when everyone else is trying to sleep.
- The best way to bring someone out of their funk if they're upset is to try to break their stuff. Especially if it was a gift given to them that same day.
- Cheat to win
- You're overreacting if you get upset that a kid took over your body and lived your life for a day, during which he nearly ruined your relationship with your crush. In fact, people will just end up liking that version of you better than you.
- A body-swap episode should only play out from one perspective. The other one wouldn't be interesting at all.
- Anyone who tried to abduct, kill you, or both, is just misunderstood and can easily be redeemed. A teen who makes you uncomfortable at a party is completely deserving of every ounce of hatred you can muster.
- Playing video games will make you an expert driver.
- That guy? He's too much of a loser to have a girlfriend. Don't believe him if he says he does. And don't worry too much when your poorly thought-out plan ruins their relationship.
- Someone's relationship being ruined by other people is funny if he's a social outcast.
"Kiki's Pizza Delivery Service"
- Sleeping is just as tiring as staying awake.
- The "delicate femme" that pulled a fast one on the "big bad butch," trapped them under the ocean for months, made them dependent on her, and admitted to enjoying taking everything out on her, is clearly the victim in this abuse metaphor.
- A morally ambiguous character trapping herself and an evil character and traumatizing them both is not a messy vector to talk about abuse with at all.
- Should you find yourself struggling to make ends meet, the best person to rely on for food and laundry is the young single mother who is already struggling to support herself and a baby.
"Gem Hunt"
- You should be scared of someone collecting rocks.
- You should take advice from the member of the group that gets her ass handed to her the most often.
- Reward children with stickers of your face.
"Bismuth"
- Murder is evil, but keeping someone in what's basically the magical equivalent of a coma is okay because she was a little overzealous with killing the Big Bad.
- Everyone will agree with this viewpoint and will be completely on board with their longtime friend in said coma.
- Murdering a bunch of tyrants will turn you into a tyrant... somehow. Even if you only want to kill them and save everyone else from a rigid caste system, it'll totally be equal to attempted genocide and systematic racism!
- You're as good as you're ever going to be. Don't bother trying to improve yourself. Training won't pay off because, at the end of the day, the one you lost against once is always going to be stronger than you in every way. The only way you can win is if you double-team them.
- Yo-yo's are effective weapons.
- You should be ashamed of your mom killing a fascist dictator.
- It's not remotely tone-deaf or triggering to shapeshift into a known abuser and then proceed to ask their abuse victim if she wants to be a prisoner.
"Bubbled"
- Murder is perfectly justified sometimes.
Season Four
"Kindergarten Kid"
- If there are monsters in cages you need to exterminate, you should let them out of their cages first.
- The healthiest way to move on from your surrogate son's dead mother is to pursue someone who resembles them.
- Also, if you nearly miss the event you were looking forward to because you were too busy pursuing said girl, you'll be showered with praise and your friends will talk about how cool you are. And the event you missed? It'll be right around the corner!
- It's cool to drive someone else's car without a license above the speed limit and evade the cops.
- If your surrogate mom almost got you killed by inaction, joke about it!
- The best way to show someone moving on and having new, better relationships is to never show those relationships or the people involved ever again.
- At 14, having a 5-year-old prefer to play with a group of friends their age is the worst thing that can happen.
- An older, white man being bigoted and overall acting like a petulant child can be overlooked if they're family.
- If you're half-human you need your bigoted uncle in your life to connect with your human half. Never mind that you have a human dad, best friend, and a city's worth of much more likable people to connect with.
- It's not at all a waste for two episodes to be spent on a mostly uneventful Thanksgiving special with extremely low stakes.
- If you return for a family dinner to find that a bunch of socially inept weirdos have destroyed a building belonging to your family and destroyed items of sentimental value, that's no excuse for you to be upset about it.
- Kidnapping someone's child is funny!
- You won't be held accountable by anyone for trying to kill an infant if you're sad.
- If you have clairvoyance and can see a dangerous tyrant being at a place your child wants to go, don't tell them about the dangerous tyrant.
- In fact, don't tell them the information that makes them want to go in the first place.
"Adventures in Light Distortion"
- You should ignore the techie telling you how to how to use tech you're unfamiliar with.
- Don't take the techie with you either.
"The Zoo"
- Human zoos are cutesy, magical utopias filled with hot people. Portraying them this way when they were actual, racist practices is completely appropriate and not tone-deaf at all.
- You can get over your insecurities about being deformed instantly if you meet other deformed people.
- If there are abducted humans being kept in a zoo, and a roomful of wrongfully imprisoned soldiers, they can be safely forgotten about.
- Fifteen-second fight scenes are exciting.
- If you're on a rescue mission and promise to rescue some more people on the way back, you can put it off once your mission is complete.
- A Synchronous Episode starring characters that never interact filling in for the main heroes should feature them...washing cars. Wait till the third act before introducing any sort of conflict and then wrap it all up with the tried-and-true Be Yourself aesop.
- If someone who was hostile to you before shows up and you foresee a 50/50 chance of them being a threat to your child, don't do anything.
- Adjusting easily is suspicious.
- Give a character an arc about adjusting to a new environment and play it out completely off-screen.
- An alien getting access to their ship so they can regroup at their home planet and tell their genocidal overlords you're still alive...isn't even worth mentioning.
"Doug Out"
- If you catch someone shoplifting from a costume shop, you can keep the costumes for yourself.
- If you find a clearly distressed five-year-old wandering around an amusement park at night, just leave them there. Don't offer to drive them home.
- If you're on a mission to abduct humans, go to a tiny beach town where the only group of beings with a chance of stopping you live.
- If people are going missing, splitting up is definitely a safe idea.
- You should take the blame for everything your parent did.
Season Five
"The Trial"
- The only way you could be pardoned out of your parent's crimes is not because you're not your parent, but because your parent might not be guilty in the first place.
- Death can be reversed by crying.
- Manipulating people you just met into fighting a war for you is a-okay.
- Imposing a Geas on your best friend so that they can't talk about something is fine if you don't want to talk about it.
- The only way to start a new beginning is to fake your death. Traumatize your friend for good measure by making her do it.
"Now We're Only Falling Apart"
- It's fine for you to tell someone not to question a good thing when you yourself have nothing but questions about it, especially when you have just met them.
- Finding out that your leader was actually just making it up as she went along when she was waging a war isn't unnerving. It's endearing.
- You'll be remembered as a good person if you have them fight a war for you because you were bored and then string them along for centuries after only to abandon them with your child.
- Having an old life as a member of a group of tyrannical dictators you didn't tell your significant other about and having a legal name change you didn't tell your significant other about are pretty much the same thing.
- If you happen to be going through a rough patch in your relationship, because of a significant change that has caused you and your partner to have to re-evaluate everything about your life, including whether or not you are better off apart, the best thing you can do for the relationship is propose.
"Reunited"
- People who want you dead should be treated like family.
- The first on-screen gay wedding in a children's cartoon should absolutely share screen time with the fascists from space. No need to make them separate episodes.
- People who have only stopped trying to kill you and your family because they think you're one of them can be trusted. It's totally safe to command them around too.
- When visiting someone else's world under a new set of standards and customs, you should ignore those customs if you don't agree with them.
- Brainwashing the closest thing you have to family when they start to question your authority shouldn't cause any lapses in trust from them at all.
- Blushing is icky!
- You can safely engage your abuser in good faith and get them to see reason with enough sanctimony. If they don't come around, you're just not trying hard enough. Give them second, third, and twelfth chances, and eventually, you'll get your happy ending and your abuser will turn out to be a good person.
- If all else fails, a witty remark is all it'll take to get them to come around.
- A boy realizing he isn't his mother and being able to finally let go of the baggage related to her he's carried his whole life is a perfect trans metaphor.
- Bathing in high heels is a good idea.
- There's nothing at all unsanitary about a bubble bath in a public pool.
Steven Universe: The Movie
- If someone's annoying, try not to focus too hard on serious things like parent and sister figures having amnesia, or else that annoying person will try to kill you.
- If your relatives are overbearing, hire a body double to stand in for you at family reunions.
- Leaving someone who had annoyed her supposedly "best friend" with three impatient people with a long, long history of dishing out Disproportionate Retribution that has undergone a Hazy-Feel Turn is definitely a good idea.
- Leaving someone with still-fresh codependency/abandonment issues with three people with abusive tendencies is a convenient solution and healthy for everyone involved.
- No matter how much you have grown or inspired others to grow as an individual, no matter how long you've spent reforming an entire society and government, you can never take a moment to relax or congratulate yourself.
- If you're facing a foe whose sole motive is rage against someone who's already gone, just play defense. They'll talk themselves out of it sooner or later.
- Remember kiddies, keep on trying to coddle and rehabilitate violent, abusive, murderous adult women who have way more life experience than you and have already tried to kill you and your friends several times for something you had nothing to do with. It's your job to fix them because of their tragic backstory, and if it doesn't happen right away, keep on trying until you get results. Don't be afraid to let them charge at you in a blind, murderous rage either until they wear themselves out.
- It's okay to forgive someone no matter how much harm they did to others if you're related to them, but not if they aren't. Just hand them off to some other people to deal with.
- Never forget your favorite toy at your old home when you have to move away, otherwise they may Go Mad from the Isolation and return with a giant mining tool to murder you and everyone you love.
- Likewise, if your "best friend" leaves you behind to go do something important and forgets about you over time, it's perfectly okay to take it out on their offspring and try to do what was mentioned above.
Steven Universe: Future
"Little Homeschool"
- Violence is the only answer.
- Stepping on bugs is the Moral Event Horizon.
"Guidance"
- Never leave your comfort zone. You'll never be good at anything else, nor should you even try.
- Don't help people. You'll screw up their lives and they are happier without your interference.
- You'll always have to carry the burden of people you remind others of.
- It's okay to scream at and nearly hurt a domestic abuse victim who's finally opening up about their traumatic experiences if you don't want to hear about them.
- If you've been hurt by a person, you will never heal from that. Ever.
- Nothing creates a better emotional bond between two people than getting traumatized by the same person.
"Bluebird"
- The best way to get people to work together is to give them a mutual target.
- Don't give anyone a second chance, they'll just screw you over.
"Snow Day"
- You can't be taken seriously until after you reveal how badly you can kick the other guys' butts.
- Fighting back against bullies makes you the bad guy, not them.
- If your friends had a private talk and you didn't see it, be upset. The world should revolve around you.
- Don't tell your friends about a change in your relationship status until well after you've/they've started dating someone else.
- Question your friends' life choices instead of supporting them.
- Someone who you literally just met and who knows almost nothing about you will give you better advice than your friends you've known for years.
- You're well within your right to be angry at others for moving on with their lives without telling you... especially after you just got done lecturing your family about how they need to accept that you’ve moved on with your life!
- Don't talk about your problems.
- If bottling up your emotions has only caused trouble so far, that’s only because you haven’t been suppressing them hard enough.
- If someone is going crazy, leave them alone. Let them figure it out themselves.
- Badmouth your friends and family.
- Stop being mature. It's annoying.
- Creating Life Is Bad.
- Don't talk to your plants or else they'll start talking back.
- You should quit your job and isolate yourself away from friends and family if you feel stressed or upset about something.
- If your family members want to help you with your problems, they’re just being condescending.
- If you, or someone whose actions you are responsible for, advise someone to take a course of action you know to be unwise or foolish (and will likely end with an already emotionally volatile person only becoming more upset), don't bother intervening, or even apologizing afterward. The outcome was inevitable.
- Instead of apologizing, tell the victim that they should have known better than to have taken the advice.
- Breaking and entering is okay as long as you leave a letter of apology.
- You should minimize someone else's trauma if you feel like you had it worse.
- Haircuts are oppressive.
- Doing physical training in order to get a better grasp on the limits of your body will result in you going crazy.
- Accidental Murder is okay if you have the means to resurrect the person you killed.
- Death can be reversed with crying and some bath water.
- Introduce a moral dilemma on the ethics of killing a tyrant, then decide death is meaningless.
- If a comrade of yours is fanatically obsessed with killing off genocidal dictators and their enemy soldiers, you need to nip their bloodbath in the bud before they lose themselves. If those enemies then go on to personally hurt you though and traumatize you, feel free to revenge-murder away and shatter them into oblivion.
- The best way to make up for eons of removing other people's autonomy is to get rid of your autonomy.
- If you go on a destructive rampage through your town because of your pent-up trauma, everybody will immediately forgive you. Your feelings matter! Not your neighbors' feelings, though.
- Forcing an unwilling participant into a hug will cure their depression.
- You need to turn into a giant rage-filled monster before your declining mental health is properly dealt with.
- After seeing that your son bottling up his feelings and not talking about his problems turned him into a giant monster, you should definitely do the same.
- If your family supports your plan of moving out and becoming independent, they don't love you.
- You should definitely move out at the age of sixteen.
- If you've had a massive mental breakdown from years worth of trauma and angst that resulted in you turning into a giant monster, then you're stable enough to move out.
- And if your loved one who is shown to have a fragile mental state and can snap at any moment tells you they're moving out, go on and let them. It's okay, they're completely healed anyway.
