History WarpThatAesop / StevenUniverse

* Singing "uplifting" musical numbers will always solve all your problems.

* Singing uplifting musical numbers will always solve all your problems.

** Following in this logic, it's okay for men to feel bad about themselves, but women feeling bad about themselves is ''inexcusable.'' If she doesn't shrug off her insecurities, she will literally rip apart at the seams or turn evil. Or both.

* Single people will always be inferior to people in couples. Sure homosexuality, bisexuality and heterosexuality are fine, but asexuals and single people can never be happy or reach their full potential.

* Stealing the entire frickin' ocean and putting it back will have zero negative repurcussions on the ecosystem.

* You are totally justified being mad at someone you trapped, it's their fault for not acclimating properly.
* You can miss work for ''weeks'' and not lose your job, even if you're the only employees.

* If your keys get lost in the snow, you cannot find them until is thaws. Scooping through the snow is not an option, they are gone. ''Accept it, your keys are lost to the gods and goddesses of the seasons''. '''''Do not argue this logic, your keys are gone, do you hear? They're in the snow, the winter horror has them'''''.

* If your fan-favorite character's popularity explodes because a big reveal that changes everything about the way you look at them, remove what made them popular in the first place and make that their only gimmick for the rest of the series.

* "Weird is okay" is a good excuse for a complete stranger with reality warping powers to aim death rays at your child and essentially trap you so they can take them to an unknown location.

* If you get called out for trying to condition someone who already has confidence issues into sacrificing themselves for another person, play the pity card and get them to apologize to ''you!''

* If at first you don't succeed...do the exact same thing again, with no changes to the plan.

* Your mother is way too overprotective if she's against the idea of you basically becoming a child soldier. Salughtering some creatures in front of her will change her mind, though.

* A petty gem-measuring contest in robotics is a perfectly good reason to delay production on a weapon to stop a DoomsdayDevice whose activation is imminent.
* Also, construction on a drill will take weeks, or even months for a five-man team. However, two people can build two fully-functional mechs in a matter of ''seconds''.

* A birthday party is a perfectly good reason to delay production on a weapon to stop a DoomsdayDevice whose activation is imminent.

* Bonus points if said hero didn't force two of his guardians to make up, even when their battle effectiveness was actually affected by it and double bonus points if said hero didn't force one of his guardians to make up with his father but let both conflicts resolve naturally. You're a peripheral character so get used to the plot ignoring your trauma and the part everyone else played in it.

* If you're in a high-stakes game with a life of a teammate on the line, there will be ''very'' few repercussions if you decide to risk your cover story by flirting with your partner. You guys are cute after all, and no-one will hold it against you when your cover is inevitably blown.

* Playing video-games will make you an expert driver.

* A morally ambiguous character trapping herself and an evil character and traumatizing them both is the not a messy vector to talk about abuse with at all.

* You're as good as you're ever going to be. Don't bother trying to improve yourself. Training won't pay off because at the end of the day, the one you lost against once is always going to be stronger than you in every way. The only way you can win is if you [[FusionDance double-team them.]]

* The healthiest way to move on from your surrogate son's dead mother is to pursue someone that resembles them.

* If you're half-human you need your bigoted uncle in your life to connect with your human half. Never mind that you have a human dad, best friend, and a city's worth of much more likeable people to connect with.

* If you return for a family dinner to find that a bunch of socially-inept weirdos have destroyed a building belonging to your family and destroyed items of sentimental value, that's no excuse for you to be upset about it.

* If there are abducted humans being kept in a zoo, and a roomfull of wrongfully imprisoned soldiers, they can be safely forgotten about.

* If someone who was hostile to you before shows up and you forsee a 50/50 chance of them being a threat to your child, don't do anything.

* It's fine for you to tell someone not to question a good thing when you yourself have nothing ''but'' questions about it, especially when you had just met them.

* If you happen to be going through a rough patch in your relationship, because of a significant change that have caused you and your partner to have to re-evaluate everything about your life, including whether or not you are better off apart, the best thing you can do for the relationship is propose.

* The first on-screen gay wedding in a children's cartoon should absolutely share screentime with the fascists from space. No need to make them separate episodes.

* You can safely engage your abuser in good faith and get them to see reason with enough sanctimony. If they don't come around, you're just not trying hard enough. Give them second, third, twelfth chances and eventually you'll get your happy ending and your abuser will turn out to be a good person.

* Bathing in high-heels is a good idea.

* If someone's annoying, try not to focus too hard on serious things like parent and sister figures having amnesia or else that annoying person will try to kill you.
* If your relatives are overbearing, hire a body-double to stand in for you at family reunions.
** Leaving someone who had annoyed her supposedly "best friend" with three impatient people with a long, ''long'' history of dishing out DisproportionateRetribution that have undergone a HazyFeelTurn is definitely a good idea.

* If you're facing a foe who's sole motive is rage against someone that's already gone, just play defense. They'll talk themselves out of it sooner or later.

* Don't help people. You'll screw up their lives and they are happier without you interference.

* Someone who you literally just met who knows almost nothing about you will give you better advice than your friends you've known for years.

* If you, or someone whose actions you are responsible for, advise someone to take a course of action you know to be unwise or foolish (and will likely end with an already emotionally volatile person only becoming more upset), don't bother intervening, or even apologising afterwards. The outcome was inevitable.
** Instead of apologising, tell the victim that they should have known better than to have taken the advice.

* Introduce a moral dilemna on the ethics of killing a tyrant, then decide death is meaningless.

* If you've had a massive mental breakdown from years worth of trauma and angst that resulted in you turning into a giant monster, then your stable enough to move out.
** And if your loved one who is shown to have fragile mental state and can snap at ''any'' moment tells you their moving out, go on and let them. It okay, they're completely healed anyway.

* If you, or someone whose actions you are responsible for, advises someone to take a course of action you know to be unwise or foolish (and will likely end with an already emotionally volatile person only becoming more upset), don't bother intervening, or even apologising afterwards. The outcome was inevitable.