'Laser Light Cannon' is the second episode of Steven Universe, first airing on November 4, 2013.
Steven and Amethyst are just walking out of Beach Citywalk Fries when Steven comments on the second sun setting. It is a large gem-like "Red Eye", so large it looks like a second sun in the sky. The Red Eye is falling towards the city, threatening to destroy it. The other Gems try to smash it but fail. They lament that they don't know where Rose Quartz's Light Cannon is, as it would be really helpful against the threat. Steven guesses that his father might know, but the gems dismiss the possibility because Steven's dad is not the most together person. Still, Steven goes to see him.
We learn that Greg Universe lives in his van and that he stays out of Steven's life because the Gems want him to stay away from the "magic stuff." He admits he doesn't know what Rose saw in him, though there's a sweet bit of reminiscing on how they met and were always together until Steven was born. The cannon is located in a shed packed so tight with old stuff only Steven is able to crawl inside and find it. Father and son lift the heavy weapon into a toy wagon, tie it to the back of the van, and drive it to the beach. Sentimental Steven puts on his dad's CD and sings along, to Greg's amazement and surprise.
They reach the beach with the cannon just as the Eye is close enough to start pulling things towards it (presumably with its gravity) but nobody knows how to activate it! Then Steven repeats his father's Catchphrase to cheer him up ("If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs"). This turns out to be the codeword that Rose chose to activate the cannon. It fires, emitting a pink beam that resembles Rose herself, shatters the Eye, and saves the city, though pieces of it fall all around town.
The sea waves grow and land near where the guys and girls were. Greg's van is also swept in the crashing waves as well. The episode ends with Steven and his dad trying to rescue the van.
We Iris Out onto Greg's ocean swept van.
- Asymmetric Dilemma:Greg: The Gems told me not to get involved with magic stuff. It could be dangerous or interfere with whats left with my hair.
- Backstory: Details on Rose Quartz are given in this episode including ones that Steven was already familiar with.
- Brutal Honesty: Pearl tries to put the way they feel about Greg delicately. Amethyst does not.Your dad's kind of a mess, Steven.
- Catch Phrase Interruptus: Steven tries to use Greg's Catchphrase when his van starts getting washed out by the tide, but Greg stops him.Steven: Its OK Dad. If every pork chop were perfect—
Greg: I live in there!
- Colony Drop: The Red Eye just crashes into whatever it's trying to attack.
- Early-Bird Cameo: Mr. Smiley (watching the Red Eye in the sky) and Onion (running away from a chunk of Red Eye that lands on the ground) appear before their establishing appearances.
- Fastball Special: Garnet attempts to get rid of the Red Eye by hurling Amethyst directly at it. It's a failure every time.
- Foreshadowing: When Steven is looking for the cannon in the storage locker, it starts glowing after he says the pork chop catchphrase.
- Grail in the Garbage: Rose Quartz's light cannon is kept in Greg Universe's public storage locker with all the junk he's accumulated over the years.
- Informed Attribute: This episode says that "If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs" was Greg's catchphrase... but he never says it again after this episode is over (though other characters do.)
- No Endor Holocaust: Averted, for laughs; when the Red Eye is destroyed, pieces of it rain on the town, causing some damage and totaling poor Fryman's car, though nobody seems to have been hurt.
- No-Sell: Amethyst repeatedly attempts to destroy the Red Eye by being hurled directly at it; every time, she bounces off it without doing the slightest damage.
- Notable Original Music: "Let Me Drive My Van (Into Your Heart)"
- Reality Ensues:
- Steven and his father find the light cannon, and question how to get it to the beach when it won't fit in the van. A little red wagon conveniently rolls up at the same time, and they load it up. And the wagon breaks immediately due to the weight of the (several times larger) cannon.
- The gems use the light cannon to destroy the Red Eye, but it's close enough that the wreckage still rains down on the town. Still, better than a giant crater.
- Running Gag: Throwing Amethyst at the eye.
- Second Episode Introduction: The first episode to show Greg or mention Rose.
- Soundtrack Dissonance: Steven puts on a CD of his dad's single "Let Me Drive my Van (Into Your Heart)", an amateurish romantic song, which keeps playing even as the Red Eye gets so close that it starts blowing things around.
- That's No Moon!: It takes Steven and Amethyst a second to realize the "second sun" is actually a Red Eye.
- Wave-Motion Gun: The titular cannon.