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Fanfic / Akatsuki Kitten: Phoenix Corporation Overhaul

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Written by phoenixyfriend, can be found here.

Created after the author got fed up with the lack of decent kitten-fics, Akatsuki Kitten: Phoenix Corporation Overhaul tries to take a classic fanfiction cliche and do exactly as the title says: overhaul it.

One of the fic's most notable aspects is the presence of what is referred to as the Phoenix Corporation, OCs that work directly for the author, who refers to herself in-story as Phoenix. They apparently run the universe of the story from inside her head.


The author is also remarkably fond of TV Tropes, and frequently references tropes as she writes.

Note: Many tropes are discussed by name within the fic. If the trope is mentioned as invoked, discussed, referenced, or in any similar capacity, it does NOT belong in the YMMV tab.

Akatsuki Kitten: Phoenix Corporation Overhaul provides examples of:

  • Added Alliterative Appeal:
    • Stupid Socratic Seminar tickets.
    • Bubbly blonde bimbo.
  • Affectionate Parody: Phoenix adores kitten fics, and wrote the story because she was disappointed by the dearth of good ones.
  • Agent Peacock: Emerald has elements of this.
  • Alliterative Name: Sort of. Jade's full name is Jade Juarez, which doesn't start with the same sound, but does start with the same letter.
  • Author Avatar: Phoenix is the author. It's a little hard to wrap your head around without actually reading the fic.
  • Badass Bookworm: Jade is smart enough to be in the IB program and do well, and is an ace shot besides.
  • Badass Normal: Jade is the only normal person in the story so far with a name. She also shoots a burglar that comes into her house late one night.
  • Badass in a Nice Suit: Chimera wears one, along with a trenchcoat, sunglasses, and a fedora.
  • Bad Boss: Zigzagged. It's hard to tell with Phoenix; she seems pretty nice to her subordinates, and she feels regret for whatever The Collapse was... but until we find out what exactly The Collapse was, there's no real way of knowing.
  • Baleful Polymorph: Chimera can turn other people into a variety of animals, and is the one to turn all of the Akatsuki into kittens.
  • Bare Your Midriff:Diamond, though it's a little odd since she also covers up almost everything else, leaving only her knees, belly, fingers, elbows, and head to be seen. The midriff is the only shown skin that could be considered scandalous.
  • Berserk Button: Played for Rule of Funny so far:
    • Diamond really doesn't like being called short.
    • Nightingale doesn't like it when people do things that make Phoenix doubt the dead-or-alive status of a person.
    • Moonstone hates people who play with space-time in already unstable dimensions.
  • Bile Fascination: invoked Nagato reads World War II books, and finds them horrifying.
  • Bilingual Bonus: Sapphire, the name given to Deidara as a kitten, sounds remarkably like safaia, a Japanese word for the same thing.
  • Blow You Away: Agent Quartz.
  • Blue-and-Orange Morality: The Phoenix Corporation functions one the principle that whatever brings entertainment, shock, and interest is good, while that which causes boredom is bad. Considering that they work for the author, this is justified.
  • Boobs of Steel: Diamond is very well-endowed, yet less than five feet tall, and has fun kicking Menos Grande in the face. Said kick tends to send them flying face-first through a mountain.
  • Cameo: An unplanned one by one of the author's friends.
  • Camp Gay: Discussed and Averted in the case of Agent Emerald.
  • Captain Obvious: Usually for purposes of humor.
    About Sasori falling in love: No, not with Jade. That would be pedophilia, and pedophilia is bad.
    He actually 'fell in love' with some books on engineering.
  • Casting a Shadow: Agent Nightingale along with Light 'em Up.
  • Classified Information: Jashin in chapter thirteen, but used multiple times when members of the PC just don't feel like explaining.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: Though we haven't seen sign of this side of her yet, Diamond is implied to be one.
  • Cloudcuckoolander's Minder: Chimera refers to himself as such.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: Hidan in chapter two, though rarely after that.
  • Contractual Genre Blindness: Played with. The Phoenix Corporation often bans the the simple solution, preferring the more complicated one because it's more entertaining.
  • Conveniently an Orphan:
    • Invoked. Jade's parents died in a car crash a decade before the storyline. She's not too cut up about it.
    • None of the PC have any living relatives left, other then the other PC members that they're relate too. Emerald and Moonstone are fraternal twins, while Chimera, Opal, and Goldstone are all cousins.
  • Cosplay: Deidara dresses like Akita Neru from Vocaloid in chapter twelve.
  • Costume Porn: Chapter thirteen, and lampshaded.
    The clothing she was wearing was almost all black leather, to near Fetish-Fuel levels. She was wearing a tight shirt, one that had a high collar and relatively long sleeves, yet bared her midriff. Of her arms, you could only see her elbows and fingers, for her gloves covered everything between them. She wore a short skirt, with a loose metal chain acting as a ‘belt.’ Her high-heeled boots came up to just below her knees. Her hair was held away from her face with a black headband, leaving only a single bronze-red curl to fall forward.
    All you could see of her skin was her fingers, elbows, knees, midriff, and from halfway up her neck skywards. So much less than normal, and yet she would have made any man’s heart beat in desire upon the sight of her. Unfortunately, with the mischievously delighted grin she was wearing, they were more likely to beat in fear instead.
  • Crack Fic: It would be borderline as just a kittenfic, but the inclusion of the PC sends it into full crack territory.
  • Crossover: If barely. Diamond and Chimera are stated to be the only members of the PC that aren't fully OCs, but rather OC Stand-ins from two other fandoms. Unfortunately for the readers, Phoenix has turned it into a mystery to see if anyone can guess where the two are from and who they were.
  • Crazy Enough to Work: Referenced and said word for word, though with an added 'just' at the beginning.
  • Crystal Dragon Jesus: Featured in the Idiosyncratic Wipe in chapter seven.
  • Cute Bruiser: Agent Diamond is less than five feet tall, but is the strongest and fastest)Phoenix Corporation member in terms of brute strength.
  • Darker and Edgier: Diamond, compared to her canon counterpart, and for good reason.
  • Deadpan Snarker:
    • Nagato, as a way to keep his sanity while surrounded by idiots.
    • Goldstone, especially to Phoenix.
  • Empathic Environment: Once in a while. It usually happens for either Rule of Funny or in concerns to events in Phoenix's life, if at all. The notable examples:
    • When Jade's room suddenly aids her in scaring the Akatsuki, though they're more scared of the Phoenix Corporation's involvement than Jade.
    • There's a thunderstorm when Phoenix gets a cold, suggesting that the state of her head really does influence the state of story.
    • It snows and a tree branch breaks after an incident in which Phoenix apparently choked on a chicken bone in real life.
  • Face Fault: Diamond is disappointed in the chapter twelve omake because nobody facefaults.
  • Fainting: Jade faints after presented with the information that the cats are the Akatsuki, and Opal comes out of the TV.
  • Fauxlosophic Narration: Mentioned in chapter twelve, though not by name.
  • Featureless Plane of Disembodied Dialogue: Averted, for the most part.
  • Fountain of Youth: Done to Nagato and Konan, though no word on any of the others. Sasori may count, as he was returned to his fifteen-year-old human body.
  • Four-Element Ensemble: The elemental quad of the Phoenix Corporation:
  • Fourth-Wall Mail Slot: Literally. It's even labelled with those exact words.
  • Gary Stu / Mary Sue: invoked Chimera states that he sometimes feels like one.
  • Gender Flip: For the OCs only. Two of them were originally meant to be female, but were switched when the author decided that the gender imbalance was too big.
  • Giggling Villain: If you consider Diamond a villain.
  • Glowing Eyes of Doom: Jade, briefly, due to the PC.
  • Gorn:
    • The Chapter Twelve Omake has exploding Death Eaters.
    • Diamond explodes in the middle of Jade's living room, and literally everything is covered in blood.
  • Gratuitous Japanese: Justified since the Akatsuki don't know English when they first arrive, and have to learn it from scratch.
  • Green Thumb: Agent Emerald.
  • Guile Hero: Jade considers herself to be rather logical.
    • She takes in the Akatsuki kittens because she's getting paid, and they looked exotic enough to sell off to some breeders for a good price.
    • She keeps them as kittens whenever possible to avoid having to spend too much money and space on them.
  • Gun Nut: Jade.
  • Insult Backfire: Hidan calls Chimera a Jashin-d***ed heathen. Chimera replies that he's friends with Jashin, so he doesn't really care.
  • Head Pet: Diamond occasionally sits on the shoulders of larger than average people.
  • Hidden Depths: Hidan knows a lot about mythology and various religions, even if he doesn't follow them. No one really expected it.
    • Kakuzu knows some things about cats, because purebred ones can be sold for a lot of money.
    • Deidara knows how to do Calculus.
  • Hidden Eyes: Jade, for rule of funny.
  • Hive Mind: Jashin is implied to sort-of be one.
  • Humanity Ensues: After twenty years without teen hormones, Sasori suddenly has them again, and acts like a bit of a b*** as a result.
  • An Ice Person: Sapphire dabbles in this from time to time.
  • Japanese Ranguage: Averted so far.
  • Jedi Mind Trick: Used by Jade on one of her teachers in chapter ten, assuming that it'll work based on what she knows of the author. It does.
    • Jade asks Itachi if he's going to be using this on her teachers in Chapter Twelve.
  • Jumping Off the Slippery Slope: Mentioned in concerns to Obito.
  • Killer Rabbit: Diamond, you psychotic short-stack.
  • Lampshade Hanging: EVERYWHERE. As of chapter thirteen, even the lampshades are either invoked or lampshaded themselves.
  • Light 'em Up: Agent Nightingale.
  • Magical Queer: Agent Emerald is quite open about both his powers, which are plant-based, and about his homosexuality. It may count as a subversion, since he's a Straight Gay.
  • Magic Pants: Subverted rather oddly with Deidara. When he turns back, he's stuffed into a plastic bag, but otherwise naked.
  • Manic Pixie Dream Girl: Diamond is referred to as such.
  • Mary Sue: Invoked, with Diamond and how she is physically attractive, and then endlessly lampshaded by referring to Diamond's less-than-pleasant mental issues. The author outright states that Diamond is as close to a true Sue as the fic is going to get.
  • Master of Illusion: Opal, but Diamond has similar abilities that function one in a completely different manner. While Opal controls the receptors in the mind itself, Diamond creates area-wide illusions that capture everything.
  • The Medic: Goldstone's stated position in the PC. Interestingly enough, she's also the highest ranking member other than Phoenix herself.
  • Meta Fic: A substantial portion of the fic is about writing the fic.
  • Mind Hive: Mentioned by Jashin, but not expanded upon. It's implied that he can become part of one with his alternate selves at will.
  • Mind Screw:
    • It's implied that the fic makes Phoenix do this to herself sometimes. The nature of the Agents and the fic might do this to you as well.
    • Discussed in chapter 12, and the conversation starts twisting around itself in a near-ridiculous manner.
  • Most Fanfic Writers Are Girls: Phoenix makes no secret of the fact that she is a girl.
  • Mr. Exposition: Jashin and Diamond take it upon themselves to explain a lot of things in chapter 13. The Phoenix Corporation is this almost all of the time.
  • Ms. Fanservice: Diamond, despite the amount of skin she covers up.
  • MST: The comments that Phoenix and the Agents say while writing the fic amounts to in-fic MST-ing.
  • Muggle Best Friend: Kate. She was purposely designed to be as normal as possible while still retaining some above-average traits. She is, so far, as normal as a character in the story has been.
  • Mundane Made Awesome: The author has a certain obsession with clipboards.
    Clipboards are awesome. They are even more awesome than potato chips and Ominous Latin Chanting. Do not question the coolness factor of a clipboard.
  • Necromancer: Agent Nightingale can bring back the dead, but it's not seen as a bad thing, especially since he claims to have trouble eating after he does it.
  • Nigh-Invulnerability: All of the PC Agents, but Diamond takes the cake. Agent Diamond has the Made of Diamond (as her name indicates), the Made of Air (she can collapse herself into a puddle of blood and build herself back up), and has Phoenix's 'divine' protection.
  • No Fourth Wall: There is a wall, it's just that there's a door in it. And a window. And a mailslot. And a few holes from where people have broken it.
  • Medium Awareness: Almost everyone.
  • Omniscient Council of Vagueness: The PC has a room that's suitable to one, or at least they claim it is. They might count themselves, but they're not quite vague enough.
  • Only a Flesh Wound: Averted. Jade shoots for the torso because she knows it's her best chance of hitting at all, and the bullet ends up hitting the collarbone. The guy doesn't go down immediately, but after she pistol whips him, she calls both the police and the paramedics, because she knows the guy is going to need them.
  • Only Child Syndrome: Averted. Jade has an older brother in college, and was taken care of by her aunt until she was sixteen.
  • Only in It for the Money: Jade's original reason for taking in the Akatsuki was because she thought their coloring would make them valuable to breeders, and was planning on selling them.
  • Perpetual Smiler: Diamond only ever stops smiling if she finds it funny to pout or something instead.
  • Pistol-Whipping: Jade does this to a burglar that she finds in her house late one night, though only after she's already shot him.
  • Playing with Fire: Agent Ruby.
  • The Pollyanna: Most of the PC, but Diamond showcases it the best. Unless she's interrogated about The Collapse, she's genuinely cheery most of the time.
  • Rouge Angles of Satin: Thankfully avoided almost completely. The author doesn't have a beta, but nonetheless appears to edit her work as carefully as possible.
  • The Scapegoat: At least four different people blame Tobi for the fiasco in Chapter Eleven.
  • Scars Are Forever: Opal is stated to have long scars running down the side of her face and clipping her collarbone. They are a result of the attack that turned her into a werewolf.
  • Scary Shiny Glasses: Quartz.
  • Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Phoenix is warned against falling into this trap by her minions.
  • Shaped Like Itself: Agent Chimera can turn into... a chimera.
  • Shipper on Deck:
    • Yahiko apparently ships NagaKona. The reason they didn't get together was because he was dead. He's trying to fix that.
    • The Phoenix Corporation. They made sure that Konan (as a kitten) was on the chest of Nagato (as a human) when she returned to being human, which lead to a naked Konan pretty much straddling Nagato on the ground before she shunshin-ed out.
  • Ship Tease: There is some between Deidara and Jade in chapter twelve, but Phoenix quickly shoots down any idea of a real romance. This comes back in chapter sixteen, where the two have a one night stand that doesn't go past making out, but even the conversation before it is lacking in any real romantic connotations.
  • Shock and Awe: Agent Opal.
  • Shout-Out: Many:
    • Phoenix has, as of chapter twelve, named off four other fanfiction authors that she is either on good terms with or respects, and discussed them or their stories in-fic.
    • A number of Harry Potter spells are used.
    • The cat names:
    • Goldstone references Lady Gaga's Born This Way in chapter five.
    • More from Chapter Five, this time in the anime and Website/Youtube videos that Jade watches:
    • In chapter six, Opal uses illusions based around Inheritance Cycle and Harry Potter. It also gets a little meta when one of the author's other stories is referenced. There's also a reference to a Mother Goose Rhyme.
    • In chapter seven, Phoenix references several other fanfiction authors. She does it again in chapter eleven.
    • Chapter Seven: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! and Caramelldansen.
    • Death Note, when Ominous Latin Chanting and potato chips are paired together.
    • Chapter Eleven has sawdust from the Whomping Willow.
    • Deidara dresses up as Akita Neru
    • Chapter Twelve has:
    • Diamond apparently like mimicking and possibly even idolizes Black Hat Guy.
      It didn’t really matter at the times when she took it upon herself to laugh maniacally and make the world a little more interesting.
      (She may have mailed a live bobcat to someone as opposed to an office chair via Ebay once or twice, but that is a story for another time.)
      (She has an odd black hat shaped rather like a boater in the back of her closet.)
    • Jashin has a kettle that says Jusenkyo
  • Shouldn't We Be in School Right Now?: Averted, more or less. Jade is frequently studying, twice shown at school, and her school life is commented on by Kate.
  • Shown Their Work: The information on cats and care is pretty well done.
  • Signed Up for the Dental: The Phoenix Corporation offers a dental plan. Who knew?
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: Hidan and Diamond.
  • Slasher Smile: Nightingale has one briefly in chapter eight.
  • Sophisticated as Hell: Chapter Eleven.
    Here, you see, is where, to put it in a certain colloquial vernacular, it all went to h***.
  • Spoiler: Jade doesn't mind them, Phoenix has no problem releasing them, and there are plenty.
  • Spoiler Tag: Diamond gets excited at the prospect of being the reason behind spoiler tags appearing on this very page.
  • The Stoic: Quartz.
  • Stoic Spectacles: Quartz.
  • Story-Breaker Power: Discussed in detail, and it's eventually decided that the agents actually have a story maker power.
    A Story Breaker Power is a power that could be used to easily fix the plot. It is the bane of many an overzealous writer. It can cause backlash in almost any genre. But when that same power is put in the hands of those that do not wish to resolve the plot, but to create it…
    That is when anything is allowed.
  • Suspiciously Specific Denial: Chapter fourteen.
    The fact that they were tempted to watch the show they knew they hailed from had nothing to do with it. Neither did the fact that someone always seemed to be getting teased when they watched something, and that Nagato had gotten decidedly fed up with all the in-fighting. No, those things had nothing to do with that decision at all.
    Not at all.
  • Straight Gay: Agent Emerald.
  • Strip Poker: Between the Shinigami, Nightingale, and Chimera, in a Noodle Incident.
  • Surfer Dude: Jashin, just without the Surfer Speak.
  • Sweet Tooth: Diamond likes meat and sweets. The meat is explainable, given her past. The sweets... not so much.
  • Tempting Fate: Subverted. The study date that would have ended in the identities of the kittens being revealed in so many other stories passes without incident.
  • Ten Ways to Rewrite a Show: Number Seven.
  • That Girl Is Dead: Diamond and Chimera are pretty clear about not being who they used to be, and dropping their old names.
    "Correction: I was Renesmee Carlie Cullen. I'm not anymore. I'm so far removed from the person I used to be that saying 'I'm Diamond' is a lot more accurate than 'I'm Nessie.'" She shrugged, hopping up to sit on the back of the couch. "S*** happened. I'm not who I used to be, and at this point I've stopped caring."
  • The Data Base Hates Me: Diamond yells this after something explodes in the Blue Station in the chapter twelve Omake.
  • Theme Naming:
    • The PC members all have jewel/gem-based codenames, though these are sometimes switchied out for other names for convenience or cool factors (but mostly convenience).
    • Jade somehow got connected to the PC members in this way by complete coincidence.
    • The Ame trio was given a Celestial Trio theme for their kitten names: Cthulhu (Nagato), Angel (Konan), and Demon (Yahiko).
  • Troll: Phoenix and her minions greatly enjoy mocking the Akatsuki. Many of the author's actions are done only to annoy the shinobi (and Jade), such as:
    • Referring to Tobi as Obitobi, which annoys him to no end and is apparently sufficient threat to keep him in line.
    • Casually revealing secrets that most of the characters have been keeping under wraps for years.
    • Sending in Agents for the sole purpose of just standing in front of the Akatsuki and verbally mocking them.
    • Kishimoto is referred to as one.
  • Tsurime Eyes: Jashin.
  • T-Word Euphemism: While it isn't all that readily apparent, none of the characters show any problem with cursing, and curse frequently. Phoenix is the only one that doesn't.
  • Tv Tropes Will Ruin Your Life: Referenced, and then Phoenix pretends to mourn for all the people she has likely sent to this site.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: Diamond and Jashin, though they were originally just drinking buddies.
  • Vocal Dissonance: If you were expecting the snake head on Chimera's primary alternate form to hiss, you were wrong. It's deep, sensual, and apparently a rather attractive voice.
  • Voluntary Shapeshifting: Agent Chimera, though it's implied that all the Agents have at least one alternate form. Chimera refers to himself as a portable zoo.
  • WAFF: The first few chapters of the Second Wave arc are built on it..
  • Wanton Cruelty to the Common Comma: Generally averted.
  • You Gotta Have Blue Hair:
    • Most of the PC Agents have a strip of colored hair that they can't get rid of. Chimera's hair takes the cake by being purple even in the places where the color should be natural, as opposed to the blue stripe. This is attributed to his Voluntary Shapeshifter attributes.
    • Jashin has blue hair.
  • You No Take Candle: Played with. Mostly, they just speak slowly or have Hidan do it. Hidan makes some mistakes, but he really only speaks slowly and asks for vocabulary help from Jashin when necessary.

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