A list of characters in Namco High. As nearly every character is drawn from another source, this page focuses solely on their characterization in this game.
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Students
You and 18 other students, all stuck in detention for one crime or another.
The protagonist of this game. A cousin of non-specific gender of the Prince of All Cosmos, they find themselves stuck in Detention on their first day in class after a little incident. They just want to survive this week intact, and perhaps make a new friend or two along the way.
AL. B. TROSS is supposedly just another ordinary high school student but why does it seem like he has an ulterior motive?
A military history nerd that's supposedly got plans to finally stand up to the bullies.
One of those weird exchange students who is absolutely the coolest kid-from-a-failed-timeline-who-is-now-a-game-guide you know.
Like, totally the most popular person at school, no one would dare say a mean word about them, gosh.
They say, "It's a town full of losers, and I'm pulling out of here to win."
One of those weird exchange students who's always out to get the scoop.
It is so hard to get a read on this girl; does she care about anything? What could possibly have happened to her to make her so distant...?
A diligent, by-the-books student, for some reason she just keeps getting into trouble… but what do you expect from someone whose parents came from "that" part of town?
A guy who seems to be in shadow of the his dad - at school and in life. You hear he wants to dig out a name for himself.
A strong willed warrior who is seemingly bound by the will of destiny...
Where did this guy come from so fast and why does he seem to have information on everyone?!
An undead samurai warrior who captain's the school wrestleball team. Seems scary but maybe there's something more beneath his rough exterior?
One of those weird exchange students who seems to have a real obsession with justice.
A top of the line engineer and roboticist who takes one too many liberties with school property...
A fun-loving, manic pixel dream girl if you ever saw one, she's a true warrior who’s always looking for the next bit of excitement.
Cousin
- Series: Katamari Damacy (Namco), although they were created specifically for this game.Species: Some kind of alien...thing (Cousin's aunt and uncle are the King and Queen of All Cosmos).
- Amazing Technicolor Population: Has blue skin, not unlike Cousin Opeo (however, Cousin isn't chronically ill like he is).
- Bad "Bad Acting": In the Galaga route. So bad, in fact, Tomari assigns them to be Romeo's (Aki; yes, Tomari's fully aware she's a girl) understudy, purely so they won't show up in the play at all.
- Bad Liar: Based on how many of Cousin's classmates are fooled when Cousin decides to fib, their classmates are possibly the least effective lie detectors of all time.
- Beware the Nice Ones: And how, if you don't date anyone at all and fight Evil Namco High by yourself.
- Canon Foreigner: Though it's justified with the explanation that they're one of the Prince's many cousins. Cousin has yet to be acknowledged in any sort of official Katamari media.
- Distracted by the Sexy: Cousin is often stuck thinking about how attractive their chosen love interest is.
- Expressive Accessory: Their antenna often droops when they're upset.
- Fireball Eyeballs: Their eyes turn to comical fire when they get angry about something.
- Green-Skinned Space Babe: Light blue-skinned, at least, and seems to be considered attractive by a fair number of their classmates.
- Hello, [Insert Name Here]: Can be named whatever you like... except for Zoosmell Pooplord.
- Original Generation: With all the pre-existing characters inside this game, Cousin was created specifically for Namco High.
- The Rival: At least, sees themselves as this to their cousin, The Prince of All Cosmos. Trying to match his skill at Katamari-rolling is what gets Cousin in Detention in the first place.
- Secret-Keeper: To Aki, in her route.
- Symbol Motif Clothing: Fitting for a dating game, Cousin's head is vaguely heart shaped, their sweater has a heart symbol on it, and a heart sits at the tip of their antenna. Their clothing and head also is colored in various shades of pink.
Akiho Matsuo (Aki)
- Series: Wonder Momo (Namco), specifically the web comic adaptation Wonder Momo: Battle IdolSpecies: Human
What is a top of the class student like her doing getting mixed up with a crowd like this?
- The Ace: She's student body president, has top grades, helps classmates with their homework, and is in every club there is. Cousin notes that she's the only one in the room who seems to have it together, and wonders if maybe she got lost and ended up in detention by mistake.
- Adaptational Heroism: In the Wonder Momo webcomic, she's an Alpha Bitch and The Rival to Momoko, but her attitude is significantly softer here. That's already a step up from the original game, where Amazona is outright villainous; in Namco High, she's consistently referred to as a hero.
- Heroic Fatigue: Trying to balance her superheroing with all her schoolwork and extracurricular activities is running her ragged, and has made her late to class enough to get put in detention.
- Legacy Character: She inherited her role as the superhero Amazona from the previous Amazona, and knows she'll one day pass it on to someone else.
- Navel Window: Her superhero outfit has a fanservicey hole cut out to show her whole stomach.
- Only Sane Man: Asks what the heck is wrong with the rest of the students for applauding Mr. Driller for destroying the principal's statue with reckless digging and says that she's going to get the principal.
- The Perfectionist: She describes herself as this, which is why she's de jure president of every club, class president, and everything else on top of maintaining her grades and being a superheroine, instead of just doing those last two.
- Secret Identity: She is actually a superheroine.
Alfonso B. Tross
- Series: Rolling Thunder (Namco)Species: Human
- All Girls Want Bad Boys: Cousin initially finds him to have a "dangerous outsider vibe", and likes that about him.
- Dating Catwoman: He thought Cousin was the criminal he was trying to catch but started falling for them anyway.
- Fun with Acronyms: He calls the Criminal Justice Club the "Namco Anti Real Crime club", and cheat codes are treated like illegal drugs in-universe.
- Medium Awareness: As part of his route he mentions cheat codes, wall clipping, ammo hacks, and skipping levels. Cousin doesn't really understand what he's talking about aside from some cheat codes references.
- Teen Super Spy: Since he only graduated from Namco High the year before and is currently the top "secret" agent of the WCPA.
- Undercover Cop Reveal: Alfonso B. Tross is Agent Albatross, the top agent from the World Crime Police Agency and a former student of Namco High (He graduated the year before).
- Walking Shirtless Scene: His shirt is always shown as billowing open, displaying his chest.
Anti-Bravoman
- Series: Bravoman (Namco)Species: ????
A mysterious new student at Namco High. He seems to be hiding a dark past, if the rumors going around school are any indication...
- Adaptational Heroism: His counterpart in the original Bravoman game, Black Bravo, is a stock-standard Evil Counterpart of Bravoman, though he ends up being a Stealth Mentor in the end. In the web series, he was made a comedic Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain, while here, he's rumored to be evil but really is a sweet guy who is genuinely trying to reform.
- Dark Is Not Evil: He's a dark-colored and vaguely-sinister looking evil clone with glowing red eyes, but he's completely harmless and will befriend Cousin if they give him a chance.
- Emo Teen: Writes poetry about how dark his heart is. Played for Laughs; said poetry is not very good.
- Enemy Within: Subverted; Cousin assumes he means this when he talks about not being able to control "this thing inside of me", but he actually just meant his breakfast was disagreeing with him.
- Expressive Accessory: The little things on the sides of his helmet droop or stick up depending on his mood.
- Friendless Background: Casually mentions that the reason he thought "Freak" counted as a nickname for him is that he has no friends.
- Misunderstood Loner with a Heart of Gold: There are a lot of rumors about how he's evil, and the other students assume that the only reason Cousin could be looking for him is if he was blackmailing them. In reality, he's a genuinely good guy with a fondness for melodrama and who believes himself to be a far worse person than he actually is.
- Reformed, but Rejected: As a former student of Evil Namco High a lot of students (and even teachers) treat him like he is evil.
- Scarf of Asskicking: Cousin wonders how he got his scarf to billow dramatically indoors, and most of his portraits involve him covering most of his face with it.
- Then Let Me Be Evil: If you don't take his route and help him realize that he's not a bad person, he'll succumb to peer pressure from his old school and help kidnap Pac-Man.
Blue Max
- Series: Sky Kid (Namco)Species: Anthropomorphic talking bird
- Acrophobic Bird: To the point where his route consists of reminding him that he is a frigging bird and should not be afraid to fly.
- Bothering by the Book: Applies rules of order he only kind of understands to a club meeting in which he holds every important role.
- Extreme Doormat: Taira pretty much walks all over him.
- Ungrateful Bastard: On Meowkie's route, he calls her evil and blames her in front of Dig Dug when she tries to intervene and protect him from Nidia hitting him with her amulet.
Davesprite
- Series: HomestuckSpecies: Part human, part crow, part game sprite
- Deadpan Snarker: He's just as snarky here as he is in Homestuck.
- Exposition Fairy: He was originally created to act as a game guide, and as such, he can advise the player on what to do in order to get a good ending. But he chooses to spend most of his time snarking and acting meta instead.
- Fourth-Wall Observer: Yep. His sprite knowledge about Sburb apparently bled over into knowledge about a completely different game.
- "Groundhog Day" Loop: In his route, he worries that when you reach the ending and start a new game, you'll forget all about him but he'll remember everything that happened in the previous cycle. Start a new game and talk to him again, and you'll find out he was right.
- Medium Awareness: He's fully aware that he's a character in a dating sim game. Deconstructed in his route: he's aware that Cousin is programmed to be interested in him, and that their relationship will end once the player reaches the credits and starts a new game, and it only adds to his existential angst.
- Meta Guy: Spends his time breaking the fourth wall and hanging lampshades on various dating sim tropes.
- Ripple-Effect-Proof Memory: As a game guide with medium awareness, he can remember everything that happened in his route even after you start a new game.
Donko
- Series: Taiko no Tatsujin (Namco)Species: Anthropomorphic taiko drum
- Irony: She's in band class. And she's a drum.
- Lovable Alpha Bitch: Comes off as an Alpha Bitch at first by calling Cousin a loser when they try and correct her and threatening that she owns the school, but quickly reveals she was just kidding around and she's actually a lot nicer.
- Pungeon Master: Uses drum puns frequently.
- Valley Girl: How she speaks.
Galaga
- Series: Galaga (Namco)Species: Spaceship
THE GALAGA SHIP IS THE MOST ALLURING, CAPTIVATING, AND ENCHANTING THING IN THE UNIVERSE.
- Ambiguous Gender: It's a spaceship that's presumably wasn't designed to have a gender and is only refered to as "it".
- Caps Lock: Speaks in all-caps.
- Hard Work Hardly Works: Both played for laughs (it's a crudely drawn spaceship yet everyone finds it alluring) and deconstructed. It is very bothered by the fact it didn't need to audition to get its part in the play even though so many others also wanted the role and it ends up making plenty mistakes while rehearsing that no one tells it about except Cousin.
- Third-Person Person: Usually refers to itself as "GALAGA".
Hiromi
- Series: Burning Force (Namco)Species: Human
- Adaptational Modesty: Hiromi's typical appearance has her dressed in a Leotard of Power that exposes her hips and legs. Here, however, she's dressed in a long-sleeved biker jumpsuit. It's a little downplayed, since her jumpsuit is very form-fitting.
- Companion Cube: She's very attached to her bike, to the point that she writes a love poem for it.
- The Drifter: Hates staying in one place too long, and is only attending Namco High until she can get enough money to be secure when she leaves.
- Held Back in School: Hiromi was held back a year, presumably due to skipping classes, so she's 19 in her senior year.
- The Nicknamer: She calls Toby "Kissy" and Cousin "kid".
- The Quiet One: Talking to her involves waiting through several screens of Visible Silence before she speaks at all.
- Riding into the Sunset: Her ending has her, Toby, and Cousin all ride off out of the city.
- The Stoic: Barely changes expression or ever emotes much at all, though by the end of her route Cousin gets better at reading her. Toby discusses this, saying that she's "uncomplicated" rather than "morose", and prefers to take the shortest available path when possible.
- Skipping School: It's implied Hiromi does this often, as noted by Dig Dug when he catches her and Cousin riding her bike.
- Terse Talker: At first. Cousin even points out how blunt she is. She steadily learns to express herself more, but still doesn't say much.
Jane Crocker
- Series: HomestuckSpecies: Human
- Adaptation Relationship Overhaul: Here, Jane thinks that her friends are cosplayers, when she knows full well in Homestuck that one is an alien and one is a game guide.
- Flat-Earth Atheist: She describes herself as a "hard-nosed skeptic" and refuses to believe that anything strange happens at Namco High. For example, she claims that a classroom is much too small for a spaceship, even though Galaga Ship is sitting right there. Similarly, she thinks her friends Terezi and Davesprite are cosplayers, not realizing that they are a real troll and sprite, respectively.
- Old Shame: Cousin discovers an editorial Jane submitted to the school paper, titled "Mustaches are totally hot." In Homestuck, Jane has a thing for "mustachioed funnymen," including a big crush on Jeff Foxworthy.
- The Prankster: The reason she's in detention is that she has a fondness for pranks that she enjoys indulging.
- Weirdness Censor: Somehow does not notice all the weird happenings at Namco High.
Lolo
- Series: Klonoa (Namco)Species: Near-human
- G-Rated Drug: You talk her out of doing cheat codes at one point.
- Single-Issue Psychology: Averted. While abandonment issues from Klonoa are teased as the route of her issues, it turns out she's just jealous of his enormous ears, and while this is causing a few body image issues, her apathy isn't related to it.
- Straw Nihilist: Variations on "None of this matters" turn up regularly in her dialogue.
- When She Smiles: Is adorable when she cheers up a bit during her path.
Meowkie
- Series: Mappy (Namco)Species: Anthropomorphic talking cat
- A Dog Named "Dog": The enemies in Mappy are called Meowkies. While our Meowkie isn't an enemy, she still shares their name.
- Adaptational Heroism: Played with. Meowkie is a total sweetheart, but her reputation for being a Mook from Mappy precedes her.
- Badass Adorable: Taira is scared of her. You know, the six-foot zombie, Taira. When she's allowed to let out her pent-up anger during the final battle, she apparently absolutely mauls the Evil Namco High forces.
- Guilt Complex: Blames herself for everything that goes wrong in her life, having internalized what other people have said about her being a bad person because of who her parents are.
- Reformed, but Rejected: Her parents are former Mooks and her classmates treat her badly since they think she is evil because of it.
- Speaks Fluent Animal: Translates for King, who only speaks in a jaguar's roars.
- Stepford Smiler: Spends a lot of energy repressing anger, and puts on a happy façade instead.
- Trademark Favorite Food: Tuna; she brings it from home to eat in addition to the tuna sandwiches and seems surprised that Cousin doesn't share her love for it.
- Verbal Tic: Addresses everyone as "Boss", slipping into it even when Cousin reminds her of their name.
Mr. Driller
- Series: Mr. Driller (Namco)Species: Human
- Adaptation Name Change: His actual name is Susumu Hori, but the game calls him Mr. Driller.
- Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: Tells Cousin that it's normal for teens to fight with their parents and lists off several normal things like locking yourself in your room or sneaking out for the night before casually saying that it's normal to dig a six foot hole in the ground and stare into it for hours because you're so upset by what you're dad said.
- Broken Pedestal: He once really admired his father as a digging legend, before Dig Dug decided to stop digging after his obsession caused his wife to leave him.
- Endearingly Dorky: Cousin describes Mr. Driller as being adorable in an awkward way.
- Generation Xerox: Mr. Driller is just as obsessed with digging as his father was, which is why Dig Dug is trying to stop him for his own good.
- In-Series Nickname: Taira calls him "Little D".
- Keet: Almost everything he says ends with an exclamation point.
- Missing Mom: His father is Dig Dug but the identity of his mother is never mentioned. This is because she left his father, due to neglect. Mr. Driller's mother in the actual Mr. Driller series is Toby Masuyo, who is a fellow Namco High student in this game.
- Mood-Swinger: Goes from happy and excited to crying and back again in the course of less than a minute.
- Motor Mouth: When you try to ask what's wrong after you catch him "Sigh"ing he ends up blurting out a Wall of Text that ends up scrolling by too quickly to read normally.
- Saying Sound Effects Out Loud: Cousin notes that he literally says "Sigh..." out loud repeatedly at the start of their first conversation with him; the oddness of it is what spurs them to talk to him.
- Shovel Strike: Suggests attacking his father with their shovels if he tries to stop Cousin from digging; Cousin is quite disturbed until he clarifies that he's joking.
- Single-Issue Psychology: Being the son of Principal Dig Dug, and the two disagreeing over digging, is the main source of his problems.
- Pungeon Master: He really likes his digging puns.
- Troubled, but Cute: Cousin thinks he is very cute but notes that between his unhealthy digging obsession and father issues he is definitely a bag of problems.Mr. Driller: Heh! Classic Dad. Every time you think he can't disappoint you any further, he finds a way!
Nidia
- Series: Dragon Spirit (Namco)Species: Human
- The Chosen One: Chosen by destiny to wield her amulet.
- Distracted by the Sexy: Her initial list of amulet test subjects is based on little more than "okay, these are the three hottest classmates I can think of". The list is Richard Miller, Hiromi and the Galaga ship.
- Our Dragons Are Different: Can use her amulet to transform into a dragon with help from another.
- Screw Destiny: During her route, Cousin can convince her to stop obsessing over her destiny. Shortly afterwards, she transforms into a dragon without needing a partner.
- Yaoi Fangirl: Implied. In her ending, thinking about Holmes/Watson gets her in the mood to Combine by herself.
Richard Miller
- Series: Time Crisis (Namco)Species: Human
- Big Ol' Eyebrows: His eyebrows are both large and dramatic.
- Conspiracy Theorist: Firmly believes that everything going on is part of a vast and shadowy conspiracy.
- Hidden Depths: Is a really talented cook.
- Properly Paranoid: He's paranoid and distrustful of everyone he meets, believing everything is part of a vast conspiracy... But if you go through the various routes of the other players, you'll find that there really is a secret war with a hostile alien force, undercover agents posing as students at Namco High, and a "Groundhog Day" Loop resetting reality even though no one remembers as well as a variety of alternate dimensions out there and various student vendettas.
- Trademark Favorite Food: On his route, he starts to really like cupcakes after learning that they have a thing lacking from his normal diet, i.e. flavour.
Taira
- Series: Genpei Tōma Den (Namco)Species: Wraith (undead)
- The Berserker: When he decides he needs to avenge something he goes into an almost blind rage. "Almost" because he still manages to remember to make as many goals as he can in wrestleball, though he still ends up attacking his own teammates as often as he attacks the opposing team players.
- Blood Knight: He's competitive to say the least.
- Boisterous Bruiser: Cousin even describes him as being like a Big Friendly Dog when he isn't trying to "avenge" anything.
- Brooding Boy, Gentle Girl: On his route it seems he is actively trying to form a relationship based on this with his talk of "A warrior's heart needing a delicate soul".
- The Bully: His favorite victim is Blue Max but if you're on Max's route Cousin is also fair game, though he will also be trying to flirt with Cousin while bullying them.
- Declaration of Protection: If you join the wrestleball team Taira says he will protect or avenge you since Cousin seems so tiny and delicate compared to everyone else who plays wrestleball.
- Dumb Jock: Not the brightest soul, according to Tomari even Hiromi's motorcycle gets better grades than he does.
- Emotional Bruiser: He actually starts crying after he accidently hits Cousin in one of his Revenge rages.
- Face of a Thug: Another feature that makes him rather intimidating when you first meet him, but he doesn't seem to realize it and is upset when he thinks you are calling him ugly for pointing it out to him. Luckily he believes you when you quickly lie that you were intimidated because of how cool he looked.
- Hot-Blooded: Despite being a zombie he is very passionate and very loud.
- Jerk Jock: Loud, brash, rude and captain of the wrestleball team.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He does have a vaguely good reason for being a jerk, and on his route he does seem to genuinely care for Cousin and feels guilty over what he's done.
- Last-Name Basis: His full name is "Taira no Kagekiyo", or "Kagekiyo of Taira", but he prefers to go by the name of his clan instead of his given name.
- Loving Bully: He is not subtle about his feelings towards Cousin even if he is currently bullying them as a part of another route.
- Love at First Sight: Falls for Cousin after their first meeting, and spends the rest of his route trying to get them to like him. Also the rest of several other people's routes.
- Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: Or in this case a 6-foot tall undead samurai wrestleball captain.
- Revenge Before Reason: "Avenges" things that don't actually need avenging.
Terezi Pyrope
- Disability Superpower: Is blind, but can "see" by smelling and tasting.
- Friendly Rivalry: Her proposed kismesis with Cousin is essentially this, though in practice it consists mostly of her playing elaborate mind games with them.
- In the Hood: In this game, Terezi wears a hoodie modeled after one of her Scalemates. It helps distinguish her from her normal appearance.
- Troll: In both a literal (the name of her species is "troll") and trope sense- she enjoys messing with Cousin and making them upset for no reason other than to entertain herself.
Tomari
- Series: Ordyne (Namco)Species: Human
- Blind Without 'Em: Without his glasses, his eyesight is absolutely terrible.
- Improbable Weapon User: The school decided his glasses count as his weapon, which is why they were taken away when he sent to detention.
- Large Ham: Prone to yelling and gesturing wildly.
- Mad Scientist: Though his expertise in science is robotics.
- Nerds Are Sexy: When he gets his glasses back, Cousin's estimation of him goes from "kind of cute" to "oh my god so hot".
Valkyrie
- Series: The Legend of Valkyrie (Namco), specifically the web comic adaptation Legend of the ValkyrieSpecies: Warrior maiden from the heavens
- But Now I Must Go: Her ending. Whether Cousin remembers her fondly or finds their memories of her slowly fading depends on whether you talk to her on the day before the Evil Namco High fight.
- Leet Lingo: OMG, Pwn, SMH; there's hardly an instance where she doesn't use it.
- Manic Pixie Dream Girl: Explicitly named as such, she's energetic and a little eccentric.
Faculty
The administrative members of Namco High.
The principal of Namco High. He doesn't tolerate delinquency and has several detention methods designed to straighten out disobedient students.
A wrestler with a jaguar head and a human body, he works as a teacher for Namco High.
It's Pac-Man.
Dig Dug
- Series: Dig Dug (Namco)Species: Human
- Adaptation Name Change: Just like his son, he has an actual name, Taizo Hori, but the game simply calls him Dig Dug.
- Boyfriend-Blocking Dad: Gives Cousin first triple, then quadruple detention when he finds out that they and his son have feelings for each other and makes it clear that he's going to be watching them like a hawk while they date.
- Helicopter Parent: If you take Mr. Driller's route, he tries to protect his son from making the same mistakes he did, in the process making him resent him completely.
- In-Series Nickname: Taira calls him "Big D" (and his son "Little D").
- Meta Guy: Not to the same degree as Davesprite, but he does occasionally engage in this.Bullies, you have like no lines of dialog, no one cares about you, just scram.
- Jaded Washout: His son thinks that he's one since he abandoned his passion for digging and says he's probably too depressed by his terrible life choices to notice what he's been up to. Cousin eventually agrees that he's not exactly wrong about that.
- Voice for the Voiceless: At the start of the game, he reads King's prepared speech to the students in his stead and translates for him since King can't speak.
King
- Series: Tekken (Namco)Species: Half human, half jaguar mask
- Animal Talk: Speaks entirely in growls and roars. Dig Dug has to translate for him. Meowkie is the only student who can actually understand him, presumably due to their mutual cat-ness.
- Asskicking Leads to Leadership: He's allowed to do whatever he wants because he's defeated the principal in combat.
- Half-Human Hybrid: Mostly a human, with a head of a jaguar.
- Dark and Troubled Past: Played for laughs. He boasts that he grew up on the streets eating rats, that he got into wrestling to give money to the orphanage that took him in, that he fought a dinosaur, and that the students by comparison have it easy.
- Large Ham: Is incredibly bombastic and dramatic (declaring detention to be an orphanage of children abandoned by judgment, saying that he's ready to fight any of the students who wants to try him), though he needs a proxy to translate the exact ham he's saying to the students.
- No Indoor Voice: He has basically one line, and that's "ROAR", unless you're doing Meowkie's route. And even then his speech consists of "ROAR" with bracketed subtitles.
- The Speechless: Is unable to vocalize anything except a jaguar's roars. To get around it, he has someone translate for him or writes out what he wants to communicate and has someone read it for him.
- Walking Shirtless Scene: Although with his level of muscle development he could quite possibly be encased in concrete and still radiate shirtlessness.
Pac-Man
- Series: Pac-ManSpecies: ???
- Big Eater: Shows up and eats most of Cousin's and their date's food in multiple routes. Hardly surprising, given that he is Pac-Man.
- Distressed Dude: Is captured by Evil Namco High near the end of the game.
- Giant Space Flea from Nowhere: Played straight. He randomly shows up with no warning.
- Incredibly Lame Pun: The first time he tries to state his Rousing Speech mentioned below on Meowkie's path, he messes up and says "Be chew to yourself" instead.
- Moment Killer: In Mr. Driller's route, he loudly interrupts what was about to be Cousin and Mr. Driller's first kiss by yelling for them to get a room.
- Obliquely Obfuscated Occupation: Not even Dig Dug knows what his job is or why he's at the school.
- Rousing Speech: "Be true to yourselves..."
