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Just For Fun: Get A Stupid Answer
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Lots of works ask questions. Some of these are rhetorical questions, never designed to be answered. Some of them are big questions that drive the entire plot. You could be respectful and wait for the work to finish addressing these questions. Or, you could be a jerk and give a sarcastic answer right now. This page is for the second one. Answer a rhetorical question. Make snarky responses to a work's driving question. Go ahead, this is a Just for Fun page. That kind of stuff is allowed. Warning: unmarked spoilers.
Not to be confused with Ask a Stupid Question... which refers to questions acknowledged in-universe as being stupid..
Examples
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- This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?
- Yeah: does alcohol count as a drug? Just, coz, y'know, the frying doesn't really work as a metaphor with booze... Great, now you've made me hungry. Can I have the egg, please?
- Can I have my brain scrambled with toast?
- Are you saying I'm an egghead? Thank you.
- Are you going to eat my brain? Because I'm really hungry. Mostly from doing drugs.
- Yes. What are you on? I have been on so many mushrooms that I have seen the sky rip asunder, a UFO come down, take me aboard, and the crew explain to me all the secrets of the universe, but I have never, ever, EVER thought that an egg was a fuckin' brain! Now, it's being eaten by a hobbit riding a unicorn, but it's still an egg!
- Yeah, what are you on? Looks like a frying pan and some eggs to me!
- If my brain is a raw egg, and my brain on drugs is a cooked egg, wouldn't drugs be good for my brain, as they would kill bacteria?
- From a human perspective, that's all fine and dandy, but from a chicken's perspective...so I guess the message is that chickens shouldn't do drugs.
- What's in your wallet?
- Lemme see, there's a 1, a 5, a condom, my driver's license...
- It's 11:00: do you know where your children are?
- How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
- What would you do for a Klondike bar?
- Where do you want to go today?
- Where's the beef?
- WAZZUP?
- A perspective-based fictitious directional concept generated by flat thinking on a round-planet, differing radically based on location on the globe or on other globes.
Anime
Comic Books
Film
- What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?
- She got old and went mad after her sister tried to kill her.
- She just goes by Jane now.
- Who Slew Auntie Roo?
- Christopher and Katy.
- Kanga? Fearing for her nephew?
- Dude, Where's My Car?
- Like, parked somewhere.
- In the impound lot.
- It's right over there.
- Dude, we came here in my car.
- It's on top of that mountain.
- And then?
- Whos Harry Crumb?
- Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
- Guess Whos Coming To Dinner?
- Is that a moon?
- Why, Mr. Anderson, why? Why do you PERSIST?
- Who Am I?
- Do you fear death?
- You want answers?!
- No, I want you to admit that you gave Lt Kendrick the order to have his men perform illegal disciplinary actions on Pvt Santiago.
- I have the answer - it was "42". I want the question.
- You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
- What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
- Do you have six fingers on your right hand?
- Do you always start your conversations this way?
- I have four or five fingers on my right hand, depending on whether or not you include the thumb.
- If your uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your uncle Jack off an elephant?
- Why so serious?
- Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have fucked with?
- Fucker gave me AIDS.
- I make it a policy to avoid people in general so I don't wind up with that problem, actually.
- If there's something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call?
- Who put the bomp in the bomp sh-bomp sh-bomp? Who put the lam in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong?
- If this is a consular ship, where's the ambassador?
- In the loo.
- You just killed him.
- On the ambassadorial ship. Where else would he be? In case you're wondering, the consul is just over there.
- What's outside the Cube?
- Jamal Malik is one question away from winning 20 Million Rupees. How did he do it?
- What is thy bidding, my master?
- I'm Made of Wax, Larry. What are you made of?
- How do you like them apples?
- I don't. Got any peaches?
- Why is the rum gone?
- Do you feel lucky, punk?
Literature
Live Action TV
- Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
Dr. Evil: Why make trillions... when we can make billions!
- Who shot J.R.?
- What makes a man a man? Am I a man?"
- Brain and brain, what is brain?
- Doctor Who?
- Smith, John Smith.
- Exactly!
- McNinja.
- (Singing) Doctor Zaius,Doctor Zaius!
- ...Hugh...wait no, some bizarre equation...wait no, Bobbie. Yep, that's it.
- He's the guy on first, isn't he?
- What?
- No, he's on second.
- Not that kind.
- ...You didn't ask that on the fields of Trenzalore did you? Because if you did we're in some serious shit.
- Who was that masked man?
- The Lone Ranger, obviously. I mean, it's the title of the show...
- Anonymous
- Claus.
- Kamen Rider~Kamen Rider~
- Who? Who is but the form following the function of what, and what I am is a man in a mask! I am not questioning your powers of observation, I am merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is. But you may call me V.
- Tim.
- Nobody knows. That's the whole point of the mask.
- "Who will be...the Deadliest Warrior?"
- Me, that's who.
- Always bet on Duke.
- SHAFT!!! (Cuz' he can dig it.)
- The least dead warrior.
- The zombies after they zombify the Spartans.
- What do you want?
- What's the name of that song?
- Whose Line Is It Anyway?
- Who is Number 1?
- Lemon Curry?
- Until the word Maudling is almost totally obscured.
- No thanks. Just ate.
- Which moon are we talking about?
- Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?
- Maybe...what's it worth to ya?
- USE GOOGLE MAPS, YOU RETARD!
- Who killed Lily Kane?
Music
- Why Does it Always Rain on Me?
- "What Made the Red Man Red?"
- Racism.
- Ochre?
- A lack of sunscreen.
- Well he'd look awful silly if he were blue, now wouldn't he?
- I'm pretty sure Redman isn't actually red. Come on, now.
- Genetics, adaptation to ambient light conditions over several thousand years, and enough stereotyping by whitey to lump great variation together.
- Why don't we do it in the road?
- No one will be watching us.
- We'll be run over.
- It will be really dirty and uncomfortable.
- Because there's a dead possum there.
- You sure it's dead and not just playing?
- Right in front of the abbey? Ew, no!
- How did 64 get in there?
- Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
- Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
- Who Wrote the Book of Love?
- Who are you? Who? Who? Who? Who?
- Who let the dogs out?
- How many roads must a man walk down?
- What is love?
- What would you do if I sang out of tune?
- I would stand up and walk out on you.
- I would turn off the radio.
- Ask you to stop singing.
- Yes, because your singing it bad and you should feel bad.
- Is this love that I'm feeling? Is this love that's been keeping me up all night?
- Why Don't You Get A Job?
- Pleased to meet you. Won't you guess my name?
- What is this feeling?
- War, huh! What is it good for?
- "Oh, say can you... and the hooooome of the braaaaaaaave?"
- Oh, won't you please take me home?
- What is this that stands before me?
- Is there anybody going to listen to my story?
- I've got about three minutes. Make it quick.
- Depends on the story, I suppose.
- Why can't we be friends?
- Because you're kind of a jerk...
- I'm shy and socially awkward, so I don't really spend time with people. Don't take it personally.
- Why did Constantinopole get the works?
- Ask the Turks.
- They were conquered by people who had a different religion.
- Why they changed it I can't say. People just liked it better that way.
- What can I tell you, my brother, my killer? What could I possibly say?
- "Next time, check the safety on that thing"?
- Why can't I be you?
- Because I'm not done being me yet.
- Because deep down, you realize I kinda suck and you're better off as yourself.
- How many people want to kick some ass?
- Why do we never get an answer when we're knocking at the door with a thousand different questions about hate and death and war?
- Next time, ask the questions one at a time.
- Nobody's home. Try the next house.
- Hiding! Who the f*** wants to answer a thousand questions?!
- How will I know if he really loves me?
- Who wants to live forever?
- What's the frequency, Kenneth?
- Have you ever seen the rain?
- For three days straight. Give us some sun already!
- Where have all the good men gone, and where are all the gods?
- He's having a beer with the streetwise Hercules.
- Why do you even bother?
- Where is my mind?
Professional Wrestling
- DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING?
- Yeah...and it stinks!
- IT DOESN'T MATTER IF IT STINKS!
- Hells yeah, it smells delicious!
- Is that...roast beef?
- Is it... stone soup?
- No. I don't have a nose.
- Really? How do you smell?
- Awful!
- What you gonna do... when Hulkamania runs wild on you?
- Miz: Really? Really?
- Can you dig it... SUCKAAAAA?!?!
Stand-up Comedy
Theatre
- To be, or not to be?
- What do you read, my Lord?
- O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?
- Why does that matter? Isn't the real problem the "Montague" part?
- Uh, yeah. Look up the word "wherefore" and come back afterward. (The next guy gets it, though.)
- Because my great-uncle was named Romeus, and my father really respected him.
- Is this a dagger that I see before me?
- What light through yonder window breaks?
- How do you solve a problem like Maria?
- My God, who is this man, who hunts to kill?
- Well, hunting to mangle is needlessly cruel.
Tropes
Video Games
- Why is all my base belong to you?
- What is a man?
- Okay, first, get a mirror. Second, look inside of it. That is a man. It can't be a woman because There Are No Girls on the Internet.
- But Drac's asking it and he doesn't appear in a mirror.
- The capacity to ponder your existence. That is the essence of the human soul. (It's too bad Drac never thought to consult his closest source.)
- He must be swift as the coursing river!
- Water, 35 litres. Carbon, 20 kg. Ammonia, 4 litres. Lime, 1.5 kg. Phosporus, 800 g. Salt, 250 g. Niter, 100 g. Sulphur, 80 g. Fluorine, 7.5 g. Iron, 5 g. Silicon 3 g. And fifteen other elements. Those are the elements to make an average adult human body.
- What could possibly go wrong?
- What can change the nature of a man?
- Who is Atlas?
- Why do you need Konami Original Songs?
- Because otherwise the game would be infused with even more terrible pop songs than it is now.
- Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?
- Y'think youz can sneek about wifout me boyz seein' ya?
- Tell me everything about the Riddler!
- Well, he's pathologically obsessed with riddles, and commits crimes to get Batman's attention and therefore get Batman to solve said riddles, due to Batman being the only one he feels he can match wits with. He dresses in green clothes covered in black question marks, and a green bowler hat, sometimes accentuating things with a question mark topped cane. One of Batman's less overtly harmful or homicidal criminals, to the extent that he's gone straight in the past.
- I don't know everything about the Riddler. If you need more info, ask that last guy. He seems pretty knowledgeable on the sbject.
- If you can be a god then what shall we call Galactus?
- What am I fighting for?
- What the hell is a funyarinpa?
- Are you a bad enough dude to save the president?
- Are you toon enough?!
Web Original
Western Animation
Other
- How do hedgehogs reproduce?
- Why did the chicken cross the road?
- What's your name?
- Will X and Y get together?
- How is babby formed? How girl get pragnent?
- When was the War of 1812 fought?
- 1813. Both sides were terrible procrastinators.
- 1813, and 14, and 15.. Not the best name for a war, really...
- What is the answer to this question?
- WhY mY ShOuLdErS hUrT?
- How's school?
- How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
- What time is it?
- Why can't I hold all these limes?
- Because you're trying to type and carry fruit at the same time, and you only have two hands. Maybe a basket of some sort would help.
- Can't we all just get along?
- "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?"
- Why do we have to climb that mountain?
- Because it's there!
- That's where we parked.
- You might feel obligated. I'm not climbing the damn thing unless there's something in it for me.
- You've met a terrible fate, haven't you?
- Who was phone?
Subversions
- Who is buried in Grant's tomb?
- No one: The tomb isn't underground.
- When was the War of 1812 fought?
- From 1812 to 1815.
- Or from 1812 to 1814. The Battle of New Orleans took place after the Treaty of Ghent was signed
- How long was The Hundred Years War?
- About 116 years, give or take.
- How long was The Thirty Years' War?
- Thirty years, or forty-one if you include the Franco-Spanish War.
- Twenty-nine.
- From which animal takes its name the "Canary Islands"?
- The name comes from the latin "Canariae Insulae"(Island of the dogs).
- What was the color of George Washington's white horse?
- What colour is a white rhino?
- Black. The word "white" in the name is a mistranslation and really should be "wide".
- From which animal do you get the Cat Gut?
- In which month took place the October Revolution?
- In November. ° Marked as Octuber in the, then valid, Julian Calendar.
- Which was the first name of King George VI
Why doesn't this article have a stinger?
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