- Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
- Ooh! Me me me!
- But not Bill Gates. Mostly because if he became a millionaire he'd have to give up his billionaire status.Dr. Evil: Why make trillions... when we can make billions!
- I do! I do!
- Who doesn't?
- Anybody who is already a millionaire (or richer).
- I don't, 'cause all I want is you.
- Put your hand down, Ferb...
- Put your hand down, Little Steve!
- A million dollars isn't cool. You know what’s cool?
- It’s not about the money. It’s about sending a message.
- Money is of no value here.
- Who shot J.R.?
- Lee Harvey Oswald.
- The Comedian.
- It's me, Austin! It was me all along, Austin!
- The CIA. No, really, my dad knew a guy in the Dallas police who said . . .
- I shot the J.R., but I did not shoot his deputy.
- Magneto.
- Homer Simpson
◊- Maggie Simpson
- IT WAS MEEEEEEE!
- I did it like this!◊
- Precisely.
- What makes a man a man? Am I a man?
- Yes. Technically.
- Unless you're a woman. It's kind of hard to tell over the Internet.
- Are you Linkara?
- "That, and a pair of testicles."
- No, you're a Muppet.
- Is it the way he fights every day?
- A man chooses, a slave obeys.
- Is it his origins, the way things start? Or is it something else, something harder to describe?
- He must be swift as a coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the moon.
- Depends. Are we talking about age of majority, drinking age, or age of draft eligibility here?
- In terms of sex — a Y-chromosome. In terms of gender — identifying as male. In terms of attractiveness — muscled build and symmetrical features. In terms of social expectations — providing for loved ones and striving for monetary success. In terms of behavior — assertive demeanor and a "macho" personality. In terms of this question — anyone who's not Jacksfilms.
- What is a man? *Throws wine glass* A miserable little pile of secrets!
- This... this is a man. A handsome, muscular man.
- Everyone can be a man.
- Ha! Mankind. A cesspit of hatred and lies. Fight for them, then, and die for their sins!
- I AM A HUMAN BEING! I AM A MAN!
- I AM NOT A HUMAN BEING! I AM AN ANIMAL! COLD-BLOODED!
- You don't understaaaaaand! Andrew is a maaaaaan!
- I've been married for fifteen years and my husband still doesn't realize that I'm a MAN.
- Dude, you're a DUDE!
- Yeah, uh, not a man.
- 'Tis no man! ‘Tis a remorseless eating machine!
- I am machine, not man.
- Brain and brain, what is brain?
- It's a large organ inside your skull. But that's not important right now.
- It's this rodent who keeps trying to take over the world.
- Well, his real name is Alan, but...
- Brains, brains, I won't lie! I'll eat their brains till they're zombified! And if at first they think it's strange, they won't think twice if they don't have a brain!
- Come on brain, it's stomping time!
- I haven't got a brain. Only straw.
- Something that Howard Payne strongly suggests that you “don’t even attempt to grow”
- How many lights do you see?
- Four, plus or minus one.
- All of them.
- That depends... *yawns* Why do I... feel so sleepy...? What are... you doing... to... me...? *eyes glaze over*
- I see a bright light. Is that heaven?
- One! One light! Two! Two lights! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
- Doctor Who?
- Ooh — actually, if you don't mind, it's just the Doctor...
- Smith, John Smith.
- John Simm? No, wait, that's the Master.
- Why doesn't anybody ever say Master Who?
- Exactly!
- McNinja.
- (Singing) Doctor Zaius,Doctor Zaius!
- ...Hugh...wait no, some bizarre equation...wait no, Bobbie. Yep, that's it.
- He's the guy on first, isn't he?
- What?
- No, he's on second.
- I don't know.
- Third base!
- You get it.
- Get what?
- This is a waste of my time...
- Not that kind.
- ...You didn't ask that on the fields of Trenzalore did you? Because if you did we're in some serious shit.
- John Hurt.
- Well, it wasn't me who hit him.
- Actually, he's the one who's NOT the Doctor.
- Ask again later, he still hasn't made up his mind about that. For now, he's the EMH Mark I.
- Nobody knows who's who around here.
- Frankenstein.
- Actually, Frankenstein dropped out of university, so he's not really a doctor.
- Dr Whooves
- Doctor Mysterio.
- Doctor Disco.
- Dr. Mario.
- Dr. Eggman. We already went over this, Charmy.
- Doctor Hewson!
- My name's Doctor H. I'm your biggest fan! I'm a mechanic, and I'm not married!
- Dr. Harrison, I presume.
- Doctor Fate.
- Dr. Jonathan Crane.
- Dr. Harleen Quinzel, at your service!
- Doctor Strange
- Who was that masked man?
- The Lone Ranger, obviously. I mean, it's the title of the show...
- Anonymous
- Kamen Rider~Kamen Rider~
- Who? Who is but the form following the function of what, and what I am is a man in a mask! I am not questioning your powers of observation, I am merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is. But you may call me V.
- Tim.
- Nobody knows. That's the whole point of the mask.
- The Skull Kid.
- Todd.
- Meta Knight.
- Batman.
- The Man in the Iron Mask
- Rey Mysterio
- Stanley Ipkiss
- Scooby and the gang will find out.
- The P King's general, AKA Claus.
- Sub-Zero, Grandmaster of the Lin Kuei.
- Matt Trakker. No, I think it was Bruce Sato. No, maybe it was Miles Mayhem. Actually, can you be more specific?
- "Who will be...the Deadliest Warrior?"
- Me, that's who.
- Always bet on Duke.
- SHAFT!!! (Cuz' he can dig it.)
- The least dead warrior.
- The zombies after they zombify the Spartans.
- It's going to be Ryu. Again.
- Ultimate Warrior
- Sterling Archer
- Guy Gardner
- Dr Artimus Deadly
- That Champion... IS ME! HAIL THE KONQUEROR! HAIL SHAO KAHN! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
- Yep. Who, the one on first, will be the deadliest warrior.
- The fight raged on for a century,
Many lives were claimed, but eventually
The champion stood, the rest saw their better:
Mister Rogers in a bloodstained sweater.
- What do you want?
- MORE MONEY!
- How do you want it?
- IN CASH!
- A girlfriend who doesn't change her phone number after the first date.
- Fry's dog!
- An ending.
- Information.
- You won't get it!
- Knowledge is power; guard it well.
- The truth!
- You can't handle the truth!
- The truth, Walker, is that you're here because you wanted to feel like something you're not. A hero.
- The truth?... Marik, there's something you need to know... It's about us. Marik, I- I hate you. I hate you with all my heart. I hate you more than I've ever hated anybody. I hate you so much that I can barely take it. In fact, I want to go on hating you for the rest of my life. If our world is destroyed, well, I won't be able to hate you anymore.
- The truth I embrace, Shinnok, is that mercy is wasted on those who defile Earthrealm.
- The truth is; Raiden murdered you.
- The truth? It is a wonderful and dangerous thing, and should therefore be treated with caution. However, I will answer your questions unless I have very good reason not to. In which case, I beg you to forgive me. I shall not, of course, lie.
- I want it all, and I want it now!
- I really really really wanna zigazig ha.
- Lunch would be nice.
- I want to hold your hand!
- I need a lover that won't drive me crazy.
- A new drug.
- Bigger doors. Where do we want them? Weed stores.
- What's the matter? I just want to talk to you a little...
- To do bad things with you.
- Szechuan McNugget sauce.
- I want to die.
- A talking dog best friend!
- A pair of lizard-skinned boots!
- What do I want? I don't really know. Most of the time I ignore my quest and walk into the homes of others, riffling through people's shelves...
- I want my baby back ribs...
- I want! My! Fucking! Money!
- He wants to explore a chick.
- Baby wants to fuck! Nyahhhh!
- We want BABES!!!!
- It's not about what I want, it's ABOUT WHAT'S FFAAAAAIIRRR!!!
- I WANT TO BE MANHANDLED!
- I just wanted to tell you good luck. We're all counting on you.
- I've always wanted to kill someone, can I give it a try?
- I vant to be alone.
- I just wanna scream.
- I vant to have dinner here.
- I want people to die.
- I wanna run away / Never say goodbye...
- I want to have your abortion.
- I WANNA MAKE A HATE BABY WITH YOU!
- I want that BEAR!
- I WANT EVERYTHING I'VE EVER SEEN IN THE MOVIES!
- We want to eat your brain!
- I know you wanna buy my stocks, but fuck you! I'm keeping your stocks.
- I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT nuthin'.
- To see you in some sexy undergarments.
- Uncle Grandfather, I want perfect hair forever.
- I want to be stoned, I want to trip BALLS, I want to be HIGH, I want to browse /r/trees.
- To see if I could enlist your services.
- I want nothing, I want nothing, I want no quid pro quo.
- The Regime will rise again.
- I want out! To live my life and to be free!
- I'd like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike, as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come at too high a price. I would look up into your lifeless eyes and wave like this. Can you and your associates arrange that for me, Mr. Morden?
- I need scissors! 61!
- I want to run. I want to hide. I want to tear down the walls that hold me inside.
- I wanna be adored.
- MORE MONEY!
- What's the name of that song?
- I can name that tune in three!
- River.
- No, "Who?" is the name of that song.
- I said "'What's' the name of that song?"
- Well, You Answered Your Own Question. "What's" is the name of the song.
- No, I didn't!
- Yes, you did!
- NO, I DIDN'T!
- YES, YOU DID!
- NO!
- YES!
- NO!
- This is a waste of my time...
- Darude - Sandstorm
- When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne.
- [HQ] Dolly Patron Jolene High Quality
- Guile's Theme.
- We Are Number One!
- It's called "Your Heart Sucks My Soul. " It's kind of a love song, you know?
- Fuck You!
- This: The song of sons and daughters,
Hide the heart of who we are.
Making peace to build our future,
Strong, united, working 'till we fall. - This song is called "My World is Burning Down Around Me". It's by Fuck You, Dad.
...
It's a band. - This song is called "I Am So Sad. I Am So Very Very Sad."
- If you know the words, you need to shoot yourself.
- "This is our latest song, for what it's worth." "I like that title, 'For What It's Worth'." "No, that's not...oh, forget it."
- Whose Line Is It Anyway?
- Who is Number 1?
- Ichigo Kurosaki
- You Are Number 6.
- William Riker.
- Itchy.
- I Am Number Four.
- I am not a number, I am a free man.
- I'm not sure, but I'll be looking out for him.
- No, Who's on first.
- The Wildcats!
- We're number 1! We're number 1!
- Nigel Uno.
- The deadliest man in the world, 'til he turned evo, then did some sort of weird zen thing, and now he's "One with everything", according to Agent Six.
- My name's the same as his.
- Johnny Five!
- Smitty Werbenjaegermanjensen!
- A mysterious man who controls a global crime organisation and never turns his lights on.
- Brian Battler.
- Muscle Power.
- The Leader of the Stonecutters
- Either Jim West or Artemis Gordon
- We Are Number One!
- Twenty-three is number one!
- WALUIGI NUMBER ONE!
- Bizarro am number one! NOT SUPERMAN!
- You ah numbah one!
- To me, you look like number two. Know what I mean?
- You are the Duke of New York, you are A-number-1!
- Russian wrestling is always number one!
- We are number one. All others are number two or lower!
- Thomas the Tank Engine.
- Or Skarloey. Or Bill. Or Godred.
- Next to me, you're all number two!
- I'm number 1, you're number 2. We're criminals at large, but I'm at larger than you.
- Papa said he doesn't exist.
- I’ll do you one better! WHY is Number One?
- Lemon Curry?
- Until the word Maudling is almost totally obscured.
- No thanks. Just ate.
- To curry favor, favor curry. Q.E.D.
- Spam!
- Is he related to Arthur?
- Which moon are we talking about?
- Cruithne.
- Keith.
- Sailor Moon.
- The one that has/once had the Mare in it.
- Dawn of the First Day - 72 hours remain.
- Harvey?
- The one that Eggman blew in half. Not that you'd notice.
- Sokka's first girlfriend.
- The one that has apparently been turned into a little Mars. Or not.
- Charles Laughton.
- Full moon. The moon. The MAIN moon.
- It's Luna![music starts]
Luna, come and play
Luna's here, what do you say?
Luna, bright as day!
Show us the world, and lead the way! - Moon is on the move. Is with the times. Moon will not forget. Is not a lie.
- It's only a paper Moon.
- Daphne.
- Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?
- Maybe...what's it worth to ya?
- USE GOOGLE MAPS, YOU DOLT!
- Directions from locals here 0:58-1:41.
- You don't have to do anything or be anyone, just follow the road.
- You're not from around here, are you?
- If you see "God is Dead" written on the side of the collapsing overpass, THEN YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR!
- Who killed Lily Kane? actual answer
- Laura Palmer.
- But who killed Rosie Larsen?
- Whoever it was, they better watch out for Billy Kane
- You stomped her! You stomped her because she was a drunken whore, and she treated you like shit!
- I finished her in a flawless victory.
- Can I get a "Hell Yeah"?
- So let me get this straight. You want to fly on a magic carpet, to see the king of the potato people, and plead with him for your freedom...and you're telling me you're completely sane?
- If you're ok with it, I'm ok with it.
- If you're going to be like that about it, I shan't take you with me.
- Yup!
- You got it wrong. I want to see the king of tomato people. It's a crucial difference.
- I'M THE ONLY SANE ONE HERE!
- Closing in around, the classroom walls are coming down, for the snail, clicking tongues will play a melody. Predator and prey, the very same, both hate the bitter taste. Peppers red? Or green? A true discovery!
- I need to stop doubting my own sanity because I've been proven right about EVERYTHING!
- I am. Which is why they should hail me.
- I'MNOTCRAZY!! YOU’RE CRAZY! Especially YOU, Nappa!
- Who has heard of the War of 1812?
- Er, most people. Hopefully.
- Where's Joy?!
- Check the Pokémon Centers. Any will do. They're all the same.
- She and Sadness are missing.
- Joy is all around us.
- In stores near you.
- Naked Snake killed her to stop World War III.
- Camden County.
- Who expects the Spanish Inquisition?
- I did.
- You lie.
- No One Respects the Spanish Inquisition! Oh, wait...
- I am the Spanish Inquisition.
- I did.
- Good Lord, I'm on film! How did that happen?
- There was a lengthy audition process.
- Johnny Cage wanted to do the 'Deadly Uppercut' Fatality on film. Key word: wanted.Johnny Cage: Who hired this guy? What the fu-*BEEP*
- Because if Aquaman can get a movie, anyone can!
- I know, right? Whose balls did I have to fondle to get my very own movie? I can't tell you, but it does rhyme with "Polverine".
- Am I missing an eyebrow?
- No, I have it right here in my hand.
- No, you only had one.
- Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me?
- I am, but I'm willing to share.
- Tyler Durden
- Monika.
- D.K., Donkey Kong! He's the leader of the bunch, you know him well!
- Squidward Tentacles.
- Dónde está la biblioteca?
- Right over there! Can't You Read the Sign?
- Urrrrooonnngggg. (Pardon my French; I know that isn't Spanish.)
- 622 3rd Ave, New York, NY 10017.
- Where is the library? Su conjetura está tan buena como la mía.
- Bad boys, bad boys! What you gonna do? What you gonna do when they come for you?
- Run from them.
- Rue the times I didn't stand up for the others they came for beforehand.
- Offer them donuts.
- You found our target. Capture them quickly before they escape.
- Just eliminate every last one of them!
- Well, look at this! Appears we got here just in the nick of time! What does that make us?
- The Big Damn Heroes.
- Or a Villainous Rescue.
- Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become!
- Lazy. You could have been here earlier and we wouldn't be in this mess now!
- Sorry, but it turned out You Can't Thwart Stage One.
- The Crew of The Mechane
- The Big Damn Heroes.
- Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?
- Well, considering that I completed the fifth grade, I would assume so. But I could be wrong.
- I don't understand the question.
- Not necessarily. Posey Morris for one was a darn good chessmaster.
- Probably not, cause I'm a fourth grader.
- Probably, cause I'm a fifth grade teacher.
- Yes, because I'm in high school.
- I am so smart, I am so smart, I am so smart, I am so smart, S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T.
- Please explain to me the scientific nature of "the Whammy".
- Where's Annie? WHERE'S ANNIE?!
- Having a long hard look at herself in the mirror.
- You should know, you came in with her.
- I'm sorry to tell you this, but she was struck by a smooth criminal.
- When's Annie?
- Living a hard knock life at Miss Hannigan's orphanage.
- Never mind Annie, have you seen my bear Tibbers?
- Annie, are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay, Annie?
- Touring with Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show
- Unless you got a death wish, she's also known as the Female Titan.
- Annie was great Annie was good let us thank her for our food including that we don't have to eat girls just wanna have fun but something wicked this way comes please don't make me eat my thumb Annie the mom Annie the goddess when Annie's around you better stay honest she knows when you've been sleeping she knows when you're awake she knows when you've been bad or good so be good for goddess' sake you'd better not cry you'd better not pout but most of all you'd better not scream don't scream don't scream don't scream don't
- I am Annie.
- I finisher her in a flawless victory.
- Greendale Community College.
- Are you alive?
- I'm a zombie, so make of that what you will.
- How can you answer, when neither science nor philosophy can say for certain WHAT LIFE IS?
- Honey, I'm dead, and I have been all the time.
- It seems that reports of my... survival... have been greatly exaggerated.
- "I don't know. I mean...uh...I feel alive. I look alive." "Mario, you've looked dead for years now. Don't flatter yourself."
- Yeah, um... I think so.
- I died once already. I can't die twice.
- (mock gasp) You're a genius!
- Well, I'm dead.
- I'm doing science and I'm still alive.
- If I have two beans, and then I add two more beans, what do I have?
- A very small casserole.
- A decent cup of coffee.
- Four beans.
- Some beans.
- Bupkis. Explanation
- The ability to add.
- That you ask shows your incompetence.
- The CIA lying to the president is not THE EVENT. A mysterious missing person on a cruise ship is not THE EVENT. What is THE EVENT?
- Roswell.
- Y2K
- Somebody's baby dropping a load.
- A doctor insulting the macaroni and cheese recipe of a whale.
- A man refusing to wash his hands.
- Margarine!
- A scientist putting a shaken soda can in the vending machine.
- NO! DON'T THINK ABOUT THE EVENT. THINKING ABOUT THE EVENT WILL UPSET YOU!
- It is a weakness to lie.
- Do we deserve to survive?
- Not really. That crit was total dumb luck.
- No, but we don't deserve to die either.
- THAT PINK BITCH DESERVES TO DIE!
- Someone this stupid deserves to die!
- Deserve's got nothin' to do with it.
- Suppose I'm attacked by a man with a banana and I haven't got a gun?
- Take his banana off him. Then you're equal.
- Are you a real villain?
- Certainly. I had a kitten for breakfast just this morning.
- I AM evil! Stop laughing!
- And definitely don't make a short joke.
- Only when it suits me.
- Who would ever admit to being one?
- I never tip, I butt in line. I never clean the dishes and it suits me fine. I'm so pleased, I'm such a sleaze. This bad guy thing's a breeze!
- One percent evil. Ninety-nine percent hot gas.
- This diabolical baddie has entered the realms of rude. RUDE!
- Worst. Villain. EVER.
- Wow! Free burgers for everyone? Even the poor? That would be a very kind thing for them to do. And they're apparently the villains for some reason.
- Ohhh, but he's an underpaid civil servant trying to ensure that the spoiled, corrupt, moronic youth of this country get a proper education! Truly a villain such as this needs to be punished and humiliated!
- The only things these attractive people have done are be successful and offer a fair price for a robot and let a child have his wishes right? And yet, villains!
- I say, if you're not going to give me any respect as a hero, then maybe you'll give me respect as a villain! A villain who is... EVIL!
- Me? Evil? I am JUSTICE! Those who oppose me; they're the evil ones!
- Silence! All you need to know is that I am evil, and I'm going to defeat you!
- I'm not evil. You are the evil one who doesn't want to give me the Heart.
- Oh, I see. Just 'cause she has a diabolical laugh and commands legions of horrible zombies and has "Evil Princess" embroidered on all of her hankies, you assume she's evil. That's so shallow!
- I do all the evil things. Destroy civilizations, torment innocent people, return library books... late.
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, HAHAHAHAHAHA, HAHAHAHAHA, OH, I'M EVIL. HAHAHAHAHA!
- I'm... Bowser, the Remorseless King of Evil!
- Heh, you're talking to a villain, my dear. The hero inside of me died...many, many years ago when I was young.
- I am totally not evil.
- My name is Dr. Alex Brisbane. I'm definitely not a villain.
- Kaiba's not really a villain anyway. He's more of an anti-hero. And that's the worst kind of hero there is! They give us villains a good name!
- Oh, so just because he terrorizes men and women, wears a creepy mask, and ends all his sentences with a sardonic laugh, that makes him evil? Well...sure, when you put it like that... Oh, forget it!
- Yes, I'm not evil, what do you need?
- Most villains don't think they're evil. They think they're heroes. Not me. I'm reclaiming it: EVIL WIZARD! I'm rotten to the bone, and I don't care who knows it!
- I don't know, Jack, there are people on the internet who think I'm the good guy.
- I'm so not a villain!
I have zero evil plans!
No ulterior motives
Just wanna help where I can! - You can't have literal fucking scythes for hair and not be a villain.
- Oh, you're a villain alright! Just not a super one!
- This no villain, boy!! No villain!!
- Why should I follow you if you don't know? Why would anyone?
- Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?
- He's dead, asshole.
- But hey, after all, we're all just best friends. What else, could possibly go horribly wrong?
- "I'm an agent... for The Powers That Be." "The powers that be what?"
- We simply... ARE.
- Lazy.
- Raw power.
- The Power of Cheese.
- The Power of Love.
- The Power of Hate.
- Blessed with Suck.
- My power has always been to have no like!
- The Power of Friendship.
- The Power of Lust.
- The Power of Boners.
- Power Incontinence.
- Cower Power.
- Crater Power.
- The Power of Apathy.
- The Power of Blood.
- Power of the God Hand.
- The Power of the Sun.
- Power of the Void.
- Power of Trust.
- Virgin Power.
- The Power of Rock.
- The Power of Language.
- The Power of Sprite.
- Hope.
- The Power of Legacy.
- The Power of Acting.
- The heft...the sleekness...the cool steel...the precision...and the power. The power to change lives, history. The power of God.
- Cursed with Awesome.
- The Power of Luck.
- I will have the power to get rid of you!
- Blasting, billowing, bursting forth with the power of ten billion butterfly sneezes.
- ¿Quién es Más Macho?
- Uhhhhhh... Taco taco burrito taco quesadilla sombrero?
- Como dices? Yo no hablo español... un momento! estoy hablando en español! Que diablos! Realmente estoy hablando en español! Que tal que Mrs Klein mi profesora de español me pudiera oir, ella siempre decía que yo no podía juntar dos frases, seguro estaba equivocada... Hola! Mucho Gusto! Me llamo Elliot! Hola Juan, hola Esteban, dónde esta esa biblioteca? esa es la casa de mi tía, no gracias, soy alérgico a los crustaceos!
- Who Watches the Watchers?
- I don't really know, but whoever it is, wouldn't they, by default, then count as watchers themselves anyway?
- Lissandra.
- I dunno. Coast Guard?
- What if you had to choose... between me, or that girl next door?
- I'd choose Buzz Lightyear!
- Marry Them All.
- Sorry, I'm Gay.
- By 'The girl next door', do you mean the one in the haunted mansion?
- Can I wait until I have more girls to choose from?
- Have you ever heard the sound of a rubber ball breaking a window?
- Uh-uh...
- I didn't throw that ball. I didn't break the window. Why are you accusing me?
- Where's the lamb sauce?
- On the lam.
- Mary had a little of it.
- Ask a cult.
- Have you ever had a dream that you, um, you had, your, you- you could, you’ll do, you- you wants, you, you could do so, you- you’ll do, you could- you, you want, you want them to do you so much you could do anything?
- So You Think You Can Dance?
- No. But tap-dancing would be an amazing achievement.
- Doc Ock has trapped me... and I can't stop dancing.
- You plumbers can't even function
When I dance the dance of destruction!
So better follow instructions!
Waluigi's moves are a-bustin'! - We can dance if we want to, We can leave your friends behind, And your friends don't dance and if they don't dance, They're no friends of mine.
- I've got zirconium pants, consequential enough to slip you into a trance.
- All this energy's got us inspired now! We couldn't stop it, just set it free and dance!
- Anyone can do it, anyone can dance! My moves will hypnotize you, put you in a trance!
- Remember when I used to dance? Man, all I want to do is dance.
- I don't dance.
- I can't dance; I can't talk. The only thing about me is the way I walk.
- What do you hear, Starbuck?
- Are You Afraid of the Dark?
- It's just... I have a phobia something is always there.
- It's not always easy being a Psychic-type.
- I am the dark.
- It's only the dark. There's nothin' scary about... the dark! It's what's in the dark you gotta watch out for. Monsters, creeps, ghouls, clowns, witches, werewolves, clowns, crawly things, crawly clowns, those are the worst! The crawly clowns!
- The darkness powers me.
- With the lights out, it's less dangerous.
- Would you like a jelly baby?
- It's true, then. They say the Evil One eats babies.
- I eat babies. GET IN MAH BELLEH!
- A 200-year old baby? Do ye think I'm an idiot?
- Even Walt is not ready for such knowledge. I could draw for you a picture of the dreaded Jelly Baby, or even - gods forbid - the Jacob's Digestive Cream. But that knowledge might destroy a lesser hunter.
- Who Wants to Be a Superhero?
- I ate a pig?! Was it cooked and called bacon?
- What Are Little Girls Made of?
- Sugar, spice and everything nice.
- And in some cases, Chemical X.
- Metal.
- Sugar, spice and everything nice.
- Are you machine, or being?
- He's more machine now than man, twisted and evil.
- You're wondering who I am, machine or mannequin. With parts made in Japan, I am the modern man. I've got a secret, I've been hiding under my skin. My heart is human, my blood is boiling, my brain I.B.M. So if you see me acting strangely, don't be surprised. I'm just a man who needed someone and somewhere to hide.
- I am both...and neither. I am my own beginning, my own ending.
- I'm not a man. I used to be. I was a different person then; a lesser person.
- How dare you. I'm a wild teen.
- Who Mourns for Adonais?
- Do you know what it's like to clean up your own mother's piss?
- No idea, ask Shadow.
- Who's the Boss?
- Was Big Fuck big?
- Are these all... dead?
- Everybody's Dead, Dave.
- Yes, everyone in this forsaken realm... is DEAD!!!
- As far as I know, they are all dead. It is fortunate for you that you chose to join me here.
- JIM'S DEAD! THEY'RE DEAD! THEY'RE ALL DEAD!
- When I get back, everyone, my Dad, DK, my sisters, Cameron Diaz, Buffy the Vampire Slayer will be dead!
- Let's see what gifts we have for our guests. A traitor...dead. Two sorcerers...dead. A queen...dead. A daughter...dead. A bodyguard...dead. A thief...dead. A champion...dead. You...will...bow...to...me.
- I... I killed them. I killed them all. They're dead... every single one of them. And not just the men. But the women... and the children, too. They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals! I HATE THEM!
- Literally all of my children are DEAD, Jerry! Because of your shoddy work!
- This sucks, 3 million people are dead and Coldsteel isn't one of them.
- They were all dead. The final gunshot was an exclamation mark on everything that had led to this point. I released my finger from the trigger, and it was over.
- Oopsie, hundreds of people dead!
- All shall DIE and turn to ash! Naught shall exist but the charcoaled remains of the amish!
- Oh, fuck! They are all dead.
- Oh my God! She's dead! Rod! ROD! BECKY! SHE'S DEAD! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! SHE'S DEAD!
- I've never seen so many dead hookers in my life!
- Lord knows I have.
- I'm gonna kill all of you!
- I hope you're ready to die, It's gonna be like Evangelion, get the fuck out.
- Mr. Ghostler, give us the news!
Why did you murder those six million Jews? - You see, I kinda screamed "I wish everyone would go fucking die" in front of the Crystal Coconut, aaaaand...
- Now... the real bitch was Cliff 'cause he came in a few pieces, but it--it's nothing a welding torch couldn't handle. But the bandages? Lifesaver! Well, they'll preserve the bodies until the ground has thawed! Cinco de Mayo burial!
- There are plenty of dead people, but no living people to explain why!
- Yeah, they're dead. They're...all messed up.
- Who burned Mr. Brinker's store?
- Who is Max Mouse?
- Why do you ask?
- I’ll do you one better! WHY is Max Mouse?
- What's up with Alex?
- Are we the baddies?
- I let myself believe we were making things better. But we're not.
- So... do you think we're working for the bad guy?
- Don't split hairs, boy. I may work for Burns, but I'm just an innocent Stormtrooper on the Death Star.
- You ain't bad! You ain't nothin'! YOU AIN'T NOTHIN'!
- No one who speaks German could be an evil man.
- I'm the bad guy. Duh.
- You already started reading the evil words, didn't you?
- Are you an anarchist?
- A 200-year old baby? Do ye think I'm an idiot?
- The problem is I got a fifty year old lust and a three year old dinky.
- What would I want with a two-ton baby ape who can lift giant rocks, fire bananas like a shotgun— HUH? And help me capture that pesky hedgehog SO ROBOTNIK WILL TAKE ME BACK!
- Species age differently. Perhaps it could live many centuries. Sadly, we'll never know.
- Hi, Steven, this is Clem Fandango, can you hear me?
- Why is the dog on the counter?
- It's a puppy counter! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
- Hi, Doggie!
- If it was for sale, it'd be in the window.
- What do we say to the god of death?
- "Make me into an idol singer!"
- Step aside, old man.
- How's it hangin', Death?
- My body is ready, but I am not.
- Can we call you Dadoo?
- This is my story, and you're not part of it.
- Do you have decaf?
- But I did okay, didn't I? I mean I got, what, fifteen thousand years. That's pretty good, isn't it? I lived a pretty long time.
- Well, that's cast rather a gloom over the evening, hasn't it?
- You know, Grim. This never would have happened if you never lent me the scythe.
- I know about the wager. Xibalba cheated!
- Ryuk, I don't get it. I didn't even write her name down yet.
- What do you mean... 'relationship'?
- Ew. I think I found my dad's gay porn stash.
- You're thinking I could become L and Kira at the same time... that I could eat unlimited candy and play with my bare feet while I kill people! It's IDEAL!
- That's right, we're breaking up.
- I know what you are! A vampire!
- Crap, I stole an emo's diary.
- Oh Ryuk, I haven't even begun to scare you yet!
- Heh, what problems?
- Now be a dear and fetch me a cup of tea.
- Nice bathrobe.
- The gods have yet to make a man who lacks the patience for absolute power.
- Take me instead, you raven bitch.
- I’m Puss in Boots! I laugh in the face of death! HA HA HA! You see?
- If he comes near me, I'm gonna rip his nipples off!
- Got any luggage?
- Won't you be my neighbor?
- What gives you the right to imprison your wife in the basement?!
- Did you stab the baby? Twice?
- Did you do it because you hate babies, or purely to spite me?
- Son of an Arlian whore... Someone fetch me a better dagger so I may properly stab this baby!
- Seeing the look on her face as her baby exploded into wet chunks... Priceless.
- Every man will shout and scream and cry out for their wives,
While I grab their babies and I punt them!
If I could carve their skin,
I'd torture every infant! - And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife 10 times.
- The prostitutes we spoke to said you would hang around, watching them. Did you fantasise about having sex with them?
- Omega, why did you hit me with a pipe?
- Have you killed many people?
- I have killed mothers with their babies. I have killed great philosophers, proud young warriors and revolutionaries. I have killed the evil, the good, the intelligent, the weak... and the beautiful.
- That was the first one. First one I ever killed. You know how I said I shot five men? It weren't true. That Mexican that come at me with a knife, I just busted his leg with a shovel. I didn't kill him or nothing, neither.
- That's right. I've killed women and children. I've killed just about everything that walks or crawled at one time or another. And I'm here to kill you.
- Yeah, but they were all bad.
- I haven't murdered anyone! Well, not today, anyway...
- Ohh, I have killed a lot of people.
- Whoa! Whoah! We are not the kind of people that kill people. Unless they're Nazis. Or Butts.
- Not many people. And most of them were not very nice people. Apart from one person.
- Is this because I'm a lesbian?
- Is there any reason you can think of that they sodomized your husband with a banana?
- What have they done to you, my dear friend?
- "There doesn't have to be a war." "Of course there does. Or else how would we win it?"
- Are we gonna party?
- Let's have fun tonight because it is... IT'S PARTY TIME!
- Hey, you know what this calls for? A PARTY!
- Man, this party stinks. I fucking hate these people.
- It's party time! P-A-R-T—Y? Because I GOTTA!
- It's not a party, it's an intimate get-together.
- O Party Party Party, I wanna have a Party, I need to have a Party, You better have a Party! O Party Party Party, You gotta Party harty, I'm gonna have a Party, Or else you won't be sorry!
- We saved the world. I say we party.
- No, no, you don't. Okay, nobody parties but me.
- To celebrate your eternal damnation.
- DID YOU EVER LOVE ME AT ALL!?
- HAHAHAHAHA!
Alright we all hate you, we hate you a lot!
We hate your whole family, we hate your dog Spot! Even Spot? - Oh, Anna... If only there was someone out there who loved you.
- Love is a dung hill, Betty, and I am but a cock that climbs upon it to crow.
- This whole relationship is based on a lie! An UGLY lie!
- I treat you like toilet paper because it'll make you grow up to be strong! I really do love you, honest!
- We were the only people that didn't hate you. And now we hate you!
- HA HA HA—No.
- The only man that I love is my dad.
- HAHAHAHAHA!
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! How many times do I have to say it?
- Who broke into my room and touched my badger?
- Would you like to see a picture of my lizard?
- Are you my mummy?
- Do we wanna talk about why I just got hit in the head with a thumb?
- You Rang, M'Lord?
- It wasn't me.
- Are You Being Served?
- On a hot skillet with beans, maybe.
- To Serve Man, it's... it's a cookbook!
- We do not want to be dinner.
- Soup du jour, Hot hors d'œuvres
Why, we only live to serve. - With two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda? NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
- I don't serve. I lead.
- Serve? Or service?
- If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter, why does he keep slapping her rear?
- You're watching porn? Why?
- What About Brian?
- You know why everyone wants to be the king?
- Have you ever, ever felt like this? Have strange things happened? Are you going round the twist?
- What's My Line?
- Is your wife a... goer? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean?
- Have you tried turning it off and on again?
- No. It didn't just stop working and it doesn't just need toner! It literally exploded... after it screamed obscenities at me.
- Uh, I can't turn it off because it won't turn on in the first place.
- Look, we have to do things my way, okay?
- What's that smell?
- She's a little artsy-fartsy. The artsy's okay, but when she gets fartsy...
- You know, once you're dead, nothin' smells bad anymore. Rotten eggs? No problem. Dead fish? Like a spring breeze.
- It is a terrible smell... It makes me hungry.
- Those are my spell components and shut up.
- Smells like trash.
- A kind of smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells... smelly.
- It's probably me. I've just been swimming in raw sewage. I like it!
- That, boys, is me going to Hell!
- Shit, shit, shit. Damn, hell, fuck! “Fuck”, that’s a bad one. What’s another curse word so I can say it?
- Your mother is a (beep)-ing (beep) Lorem Ipsum (beep) Admitum Venium (beep) Treguna (beep) hippopotamus (beep) republican (beep) and Daniel Radcliffe (beep) with a bucket of (beep) in a castle far away where no one can hear you (beep) soup (beep) with a bucket of (beep) Mickey Mouse (beep) and a stick of dynamite (beep) magical (beep) alakazam!
- Son of a gum-chewing funk monster!
- Belgium. I hardly like to say it.
- Snugglebunnies!
- Assholes.
- Dickhead.
- Scumbag...
- Sluts.
- MOTHERFUCKER! That mute asshole! That fucking snake without a tongue! Gave me this shithole instead of a pink slip? I must be the biggest fucking idiot in the whole fucking world!
- Oh no, I know a dirty word.
- Bepis.
- What the fuck, Wayne!?
- Do I get a coconut?
- This coconut shit ISN'T funny!
- Nope! Deadly poison to the eye!
- Are you trying to tell me how to do the coconut gag? Let me tell you something mister! I was doing the coconut gag before you were born! I invented the coconut gag, you got that? I taught this country how to laugh!
- You put de lime in the coconut, you drink 'em bot' up.
- What's all this I hear about free coconuts?
- He's a space alien! Hit him with a coconut!
- I wanna coconut! I wanna coconut!
- Drake, where's the door hole?
- This door has no holes. You have to find another way.
- Is this some sort of peasant joke I'm too rich to understand?
- Would I Lie to You?
- Why would you say something so controversial, yet so brave?
- Whatchu talkin 'bout, Willis?
- What the fuck is the Doom Patrol?
- You know!
- Whatever happened to predictability? The milkman, the paperboy, the evening TV?
- Consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds.
- Being Strictly Formula can get tiring after a while.
- Lucky, there’s a family guy!
- Why are you here? I thought you were financially stable.
- Why are you booing me? I'm right!
- We're booing you because you're right!
- You're not wrong, Walter. You're just an asshole!
- Two words: Alternative. Fact. In Layman's Terms: You're wrong.
- HILARY BAAAAANKS! WIIIIILLLL YOOOOUUU MAAAARRRRYYYY MEEEEEEE-? (THUD)
- I ain't no bungee expert or nothin', but I don't think he's supposed to be slamming into the ground like that.
- It’s “until death do you part”, but death has already parted you.
- How do you do, fellow kids?
- Are you still "Master of your Domain"?
- Whatever Happened to Mr. Garibaldi?
- He's dead, prick.
- Do…Do…Do you have it? Ooh! Do…Do…Do…Do you have it?
- Why are you so desperate to be with people who hate you?
- You want to know what I do when I'm sad or scared?
- Try killing me?
- Oh, you're not going to sing, are you?
- Uh oh, you found the toothpaste! Let's get one thing clear: I can brush my teeth all by myself, OKAY?
- Look at that, ain't that a happy little tree?
- Lightning gave me abs?
- Lightning Can Do Anything
- Yep! With the power of Rust-Eez! Kachow!
- OK, stop. Did you see what just happened there? Me, too! Now, I'd like you to ask yourself this question: Was that the right way to treat somebody, or was it actually really hurtful and horrible?
- What is going wrong with that one? (face is longer than it should be)
- What? What's breathing?
- Would you be surprised if I started wearing a bandana?
- Does your friend have a worm in his brain?
- What about my shredder?
- We shredded Shredder!
- Not that Shredder.
- We shredded Shredder!
- Did you actually think a single bullet to the shoulder would kill me?
- I did, and You Are Already Dead.
- Did I do that?
- You must have a false memory in your head, yes?
- For you, the day I did it was a very significant day in your life. But for Me, It Was Tuesday.
- Who enslaved people of color? Who invaded the Caribbean? Who murdered all the innocent children?! You did! You! You! You!
- OF COURSE YOU FUCKING DID THAT! YOU'RE THE MOST THAT-DOING MOTHERFUCKER IN THE MULTIVERSE!
- You must have a false memory in your head, yes?
- Who loves orange soda?
- The Human Instrumentality Project loves orange soda!
- Suggestively posed anthropomorphic animals love orange soda!
- I've got my spine, I've got my orange crush. note
- Would you like a custom selection?
- Do you think Margaret Thatcher had girl power?
- Who is Margaret Thatcher?
- Can We Get Married?
- Me? Get married? What a joke.
- I don't wanna be married, I just wanna be friends.
- Can You Hear My Heart?
- Beneath your insecurity lies obsession.
- I can hear your heartbeat...for the very last time.
- Have You Been Paying Attention?
- Heads Or Tails
- How Do You Want Me?
- Stay away from me, you son of a bitch.
- I can bring you in warm, or I can bring you in cold.
- As You Desire Me.
- How Clean is Your House?
- Is It Legal?
- It's Worth What?
- Red or Black?
- What Would You Do?
- Who Is America?
- This is America… Don’t catch you slippin’ now…
- That question makes no grammatical or logical sense.
- I'll do you one better: WHY is America?
- The only question is HOW.
- She was the star of Ugly Betty and Superstore.
- I Am America (And So Can You!)
- Who's Still Standing?
- Everybody's Dead, Dave.
- I could do this all day.
- And kicking, Electro! (Sure hope I sound better... than I feel!)
- I will not stand! *falls over*
- OK, everybody, you are not gonna baleel, but I am standing! This is totally hecking gay, everybody!
- I'm still standing. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
- Actually boss, I think the tomato is sitting.
- Who is the shining sword?
- Yuri, the Sword of Light himself.
- Excalibur.
- Tsubasa Kazanari.
- Frank Sinatra via archive audio.
- Did you just suddenly grow a set of balls or something?
- Look who's talking. You got no balls yourself.
- So under this scenario, we're spending close to $30 billion a year to protect our trade with China from China. And that doesn't strike anyone at this table as odd?
- My dear, what we do is never odd. I could spend over $44.5 billion a year to protect our trade with China from China, and still look good doing it. If anyone or anything is odd, my dear, it's YOU!
- Have you ever wondered if there is such a thing as genetic evil in the world?
- Heaven? Whatever gave you the idea you were in Heaven, Mr. Valentine?
- I only state observable facts.
- It took me awhile to figure it out. But just now, as we were all fighting, and yelling at each other, and each one of us demanding we should go to the Bad Place, I thought to myself, "Man, this is torture." And then it hit me. They're never gonna call a train to take us to the Bad Place. They can't. Because we're already here. This is the Bad Place.
- I see the globe right there!
- HEY! WHO DID THIS TO MY HOUSE?
- YOU DID!
- Wade Boggs' Carpet World!
- How can you call yourself a clown and not know who Bozo is?
- Who says clowns must know who Bozo is?
- HOW GREAT IS THIS PARTY?!
- Who are three people who have never been in my kitchen?
- Three? Everybody's been to your kitchen at least once, chum!
- Mr. Tully, the Powerpoint's put away. The PA system's shut down. I've snapped shut my satchel. Do you really expect me to go through all this again solely for your benefit?
- Because if you don't...what happens next is on you!
- Deal or No Deal?
- Audience, what's your diagnosis?
- What did you think I meant when I said "There's ALWAYS MONEY in the BANANA STAND?"
- Banana stands don't make money, you stupid idiot!
- Can’t we get beyond Thunderdome?
- Are those 'HIYAHS' really necessary?
- Dips. What can't they do?
- What can you do?
- Have you ever slept in the same bed as a monkey?
- Why does anyone have to be naked?
- What makes you think I want to play pirates with you?
- Who’s the quarry?
- You killed my men, destroyed my fleet… why are you after me?
- Is everyday going to be this crazy with you?
- Which of the Pickwick triplets did it? Which spawn had the brawn to commit this crime?
- Are you two friends?
- Do you know anything about women?
- When a woman needs to be comforted, she tells you it's time to buy more shoes. But she has all the shoes. So we really know she just needs boots! Now everything makes sense… Forever.
- Apparently, when you kill their boyfriends, it does NOT make them wanna get back together with you.
- Respect the cock and tame the cunt! Tame it! Take it on headfirst with the skills that I will teach you at work and say: no, you will not control me! No, you will not take my soul! No, you will not win this game!
- Are you still here?
- Is this Garak of yours an assassin or a tailor?
- Both. That's why he makes such killer outfits.
- Was it ever going to be enough?
- How much money would make you say “We did it”?
- How do we fight the human race?
- Never seen a TARDIS before?
- You know how there's a subterranean race of lizard-people living beneath the city who control our minds with their pheromones?
- What's more important? Friends or money?
- Aquaman fucks fish?
- Care to take a stab at being social?
- Hey, Grandpa! What's for supper?
- Would you like to feel in control or like a little baby?
- Name something a burglar would not want to see when he breaks into a house.
- You're an alien. You're super-powerful. Recently, you saved the world with your friends. What do you like to do for fun?
- Let me get this straight. You went out on a date with my sister?
- Have you been gargling with bong water?
- Did he just call you gay and then angrily toss his scarf over his shoulder?
- You know what a resolution is, really?
- You want me to join the army?!
- You want to make my cock explode now?
- Who invaded Spain in the 8th century?
- The Mooks.
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