Bluenose Bowdlerizer: Colbert praises the efforts of censors and claims that contrary to some prevalent opinions, censorship encourages creativity. For example, writing "Flip you, codbucket" takes more imagination than the more obvious, profane alternative.
Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs: To be the World's Strongest Man, Colbert lists a mule, Rodin's The Thinker, and "Rodin's The Thinker riding a mule" as what you need to lift.
Camp Straight: Austin, the former homosexual from one of the "Stephen Speaks For Me" sections.
Cluster F-Bomb: The Guy Sitting Next To You At The Stadium. And wouldn't you know it, he's in two "Stephen Speaks For Me" sections.
Department of Redundancy Department: The Fun Zone for Hollywood has the same answer for Leonardo DiCaprio, Rosie O'Donnell, Sheryl Crow and Alec Baldwin: d. "Hey! Look at me!" Also, most editions say "from the author of I Am America (And So Can You!)" at the top.
Dirty Communists: Mort Sinclair, the communist TV writer from one of the "Stephen Speaks For Me" segments.
Eagleland: Apparently, just opening the book's front cover will make you 25% more American.
Godwin's Law: Done with people other than Hitler. For example, he calls women's rights activists "Femin-Idi-Amins".
WANING! Several reportages of illegal produced issues of this book from Glorious People Republic of China stealing into bookstores. Do not! Buy only likely copies only authorized STEPHEN COLBERT'S I AM AMERICA AND SO ARE YOU books like this one itself!
—Yours, U.S.A. Publisher
Killed Mid-Sentence: Gil Honeycomb, the oldest man in the world, suffers a fatal heart attack in the middle of his "Stephen Speaks For Me" segment.