"If you met me on the street you'd never guess how much I wanted to kill you."
Hello, my name
is John WayneCleaver
and I am not a serial killer
. However, I find serial killers
to be fascinating. And I also have some similarities to serial killers. Like the fact that I share all three traits of the Macdonald Triad
like 95% of all other serial killers. I'm also fascinated by death and corpses, but since I'm a skilled mortician that works in the town mortuary what did you expect? I'm also fifteen years old, and I've been diagnosed as a sociopath. And I'm a loner
that has a tough time
making friends. It almost seems as if fate has decided
that I should become a serial killer. Well Screw Destiny
, I am not a serial killer
See also the sequels, Mr. Monster
and I Don't Want To Kill You
by the same author, Dan Wells.
This book has examples of:
- Adults Are Useless: Played straight in that John is the only one to discover who the serial killer is, averted in that the psychologist is shown to be somewhat helpful. Double Subverted when this instinct to try to help winds up getting Dr. Neblin killed.
- Ascended Demon: John tries to be good. Really.
- more literal in the case of the actual demon, who gave up being one in order to remain with his wife and only went back to killing because his body was giving out on him.
- Ax-Crazy: Specifically averted. John makes a point of explaining that a random murder is different from a serial killing.
- Bullying a Dragon: Rob Anders to John at the dance.
- Cassandra Truth: John thinks that no one would believe him if he told people the truth that Bill Crowley turns into a monster and kills people.
- Darker and Edgier: Compared to Dexter if you can believe it. Most of the comedy in Dexter is replaced by tragedy, Squick, Psychological Horror and Paranoia Fuel while what comedy remains is limited to snark and comedy so black no photons are capable of escaping.
- Deadpan Snarker: So very much. John is deadpan pretty much all the time anyway, and he has an extremely developed sense of humor. Expect him to say something like this at least once every page.
- Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?
- Did You Think I Can't Feel?: John gives a speech like this to his mother, accusing her of ignoring his feelings because she thinks of him as a sociopath.
- Disappeared Dad: John's father.
- Enemy Within: John's dark side, the side that wishes to kill everyone. John's rules are there to hide this, but it's always there...
- Even Evil Has Standards: He stalks, He maims, but patting dogs? Never.
- Fail O'Suckyname: Fangoria's mostly positive review of this book and its sequels can't help but note how unrealistic and on-the-nose John's name is.
- The Film of the Book: Possibly.
- Freak Out
- Genre Shift: The genre shifts from a psychological character study to a horror/scifi/fantasy thriller midway through the story when it is revealed that the local serial killer John is obsessing over is actually a demon who harvest human body parts.
- Though the shift is explicetly foreshadowed when in the first quarter of the book, John casually says to the reader that his sociopathy makes him a demon but NOT like the one he fought.
- Gray and Gray Morality Or Black and Gray Morality: A diagnosed sociopath with murderous urges and no capacity for empathy who is nevertheless determined to kill only bad guys, vs a body-snatching demon that is forced to kill humans in order to survive while remaining fully capable of love and other human emotions.
- Heroic Self-Deprecation: Too such a degree that it borders on Unreliable Narrator. For example John has much better social skills than he claims in the narration.
- Heroic Willpower: John, being the protagonist of our story, has of course this virtue. No matter how much he wants to kill people, his massive will to be good is just too strong. Specifically when he's trying not to stab his own mother.
- He Who Fights Monsters: John does this to try and stop Bill Crowley from continuing to kill.
- I Did What I Had to Do - When trying to kill a demon, some things must be done sacrifices - John abandoning his rules in order to defeat Crowley - must be made...
- Loners Are Freaks: John tries desperately to avert this so he befriends the other loner in the school, Max Bowen. Note that he's not trying to avoid being a freak, he knows that he's a freak and is trying to hide it by avoiding being a loner.
- The Main Characters Do Everything: Although the author does give a reason, it's very convenient that John is capable of performing his own autopsies and such.
- Meaningful Name: Subverted. John Wayne Gacy was a famous serial killer, and you might think John Wayne Cleaver is named after him- but you'd be wrong. He's actually named after John Wayne the Western actor.
- Whether this one was intended or not, there was also an Australian serial killer named John Wayne Glover, which ends up as a much closer phonetic match to Cleaver.
- Moment Killer: It was John's fault really (threatening people with a violent death won't win you any friends); this scene also includes an example of How Much Did You Hear?
- Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant: John
- Nothing Exciting Ever Happens Here: The first murder is specifically said by the main character to be the most exciting thing he's ever seen happen in Clayton County.
- Parental Substitute: John's therapist, Ben Neblin, kinda acts as a replacement for John's absent father. So does Mr. Crowley. too bad he's also a demon.
- Police Are Useless: Played straight but justified, John does tell the police but it doesn't turn out well.
- Psychological Horror: It's not just blood and gore people. It's so much more than that...
- Reluctant Psycho: Guess who?
- Serial-Killer Killer
- Sociopathic Hero: This one speaks for itself.
- Stalker with a Crush: John stalks Brooke Watson for most of the book.
- Though it should be noted that he realizes this isn't love or anything resembling it but rather an irresistible compulsion that he tries desperately to overcome, making this an aversion of Stalking Is Love.
- Tap on the Head: Averted in the first book. John has to strike Crowley's wife several times on the head with a blunt object to get them to stop moving. He mentions that it's always easier in the movies.
- This Is My Story: Most first-person stories carry this trope. It's inevitable really. See the book's blurb above for example.
- This Is Your Brain on Evil
- The Watson: John's 'friend' Max is really only there to fill in the audience by asking stupid questions.
- Will They or Won't They?: Brooke clearly likes John, and John clearly likes her. Hence the stalking.
- Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds: The Demon.
- You Are Grounded: John's Mother doesn't allow him to participate in embalming any more bodies after John gets too excited examining the body of the second victim of the Clayton Killer