"Wait! No! I haven't been in any trouble since— I mean, I'm a good— I'm supposed to be a-HAHAHAHAHAHAH - eep!"
The Mad Hatter
doesn't suffer from insanity, they enjoy every minute of it
. If only the Reluctant Psycho
was so well-off. They may or may not understand the details, but they are well aware that something
is wrong with their own psychology and are fighting it to the best of their ability
, possibly with the help of medication. Success will vary; perhaps they do
manage to present a normal façade but are fighting a constant inner battle to maintain it, or maybe they've found an outlet to channel their issues productively, or, in the most tragic cases, they are constantly fighting a losing battle and may only realise they've given in again once it's too late. Whatever the details, they both know that they are mentally unwell
, and desire to cancel or curtail the effects of their illness
If they are fortunate, they may have the support of a Friend to Psychos
. If they're terribly unfortunate, the plot will conspire to make their already-difficult struggle even harder for them; it may even become necessary for them to give in to get out
This is a very particular subtrope of the Tragic Flaw
; examples that are about temptations and tendencies that are not actually insanity go there.
Truth in Television
for many people with mental illnesses, by the way. However, despite the scary-sounding trope name, most Real Life
people in this situation wouldn't be dangerous to anyone except maybe themselves if they lost control of their illness. Being Ax-Crazy
is a lot more common in fiction than reality, after all. There's also the fact that if you're aware enough to be ashamed of it, you're probably doing something (such as psychotherapy or medication) to mediate the symptoms.
Contrast The Mad Hatter
, which is about the cartoonish kind of insanity, and Fighting from the Inside
, in which they are not only trying to keep control but to take it back from someone else
Anime and Manga
- Monster: Johan Liebert who, despite being committed to carrying out evil acts and appearing to enjoy every moment of his wicked trajectory, seems to find his evil hopelessly banal on some level, to the point that when he re-reads a children's book that disturbingly reminds him of his past, his goals began to markedly shift from world annihilation to self-annihilation. Not that he isn't still an Omnicidal Maniac caught in a hungry ghost cycle, though...
- Soul Eater has Dr. Franken Stein, an unhinged genius with a violent edge to him that loves dissection and even enjoys his own craziness. However, he doesn't want to let it get too far or let himself get too bad, so he basically worships the Shinigami for giving him stability and purpose.
- In M, the eponymous murderer of children insists that he is this.
- John Nash is in this position in A Beautiful Mind, once he figures out that he actually is schizophrenic. By the end of the film he manages to keep himself productive without medication - which interferes with his mathematical genius - by constantly checking to make sure other people can see new people he meets.
- Grosse Pointe Blank:
You didn't tell me what you did for a living
you told me. And I said, "I don't want to work with you any more." And yet, you come back each week at the same time. That's a difficulty for me. On top of that, if you've committed a crime or you're thinking about committing a crime, I have to tell the authorities.
I know the law, okay? But I don't want to be withholding; I'm very serious about this process. [beat
] And I know where you live.
- At one point in Targets, murderer-to-be Bobby Thompson fumblingly tries to alert his wife that something is going horribly wrong with his brain, but she brushes off the discussion and goes to sleep.
- In the Psycho series, Norman Bates really doesn't enjoy being crazy and rightly considers it a mental sickness. He is terrified when he thinks he's relapsing in the sequel, since he's unaware that he's the target of a Gaslighting campaign.
- John Wayne Cleaver in I Am Not a Serial Killer is not, but he is acutely aware of how likely he is to become one. He's not technically a sociopath, but only because until he turns 18 the relevant diagnosis is Conduct Disorder. He has a strict list of rules to adhere to to keep himself functional, barely managing to pass himself off as normal most of the time... and then events conspire to give him every good reason to start breaking his rules to protect himself and his family.
- Deanna Madden, the title character of The Girl in 6E, wishes she didn't have almost constant homicidal fantasies and ideation. But she does, and she's had enough close calls that she finally gave up and locked herself in apartment 6E, which she hasn't left in three years.
- Zane, in the Mistborn trilogy, is fully aware that he is insane (he understands that hearing the voice of "God" tell you to kill everyone you meet obviously isn't normal), but he feels that it isn't an excuse for irrational behaviour and that it is merely a flaw he must overcome. In the end, it turns out that while Zane is an unstable psychopath, the voice he was hearing in his head was quite real- it was the series' Big Bad, and while it wasn't quite God, it was the next step down. So even though he was crazy, he wasn't as crazy as he thought he was, if that makes sense.
- Patrick Bateman in American Psycho fantasies about killing people and often takes drugs to suppress his urges. However he gets worse, and finds himself killing people regularly just for the thrill of it. He mentions this to other people as a cry for help, but they don't even notice it. Because of this, it can be interpreted that nobody seems to mind (after all, he's part of a rich class who could buy themselves out of prison), that no one is actually listening to anything he says (it is a parody of the 80s yuppie culture) or that he's deluded and that he never killed anyone nor mentioned it to anyone.
- Dexter is an excellent example of the Reluctant Psycho who uses a productive or at least acceptable outlet to relieve his issues - through vigilante justice, in his case.
- Sherlock Holmes is typically perfectly willing to embrace his sociopathic tendencies, but occasionally shows hints of inner turmoil over whether they are actually more of a strength or a weakness. (John is helping him deal with the aspects that cause him problems; Mycroft is not nearly so conflicted.)
Sherlock: Look at them. They all care so much. Do you ever wonder if there's something wrong with us?
Mycroft: All lives end. All hearts are broken. Caring is not an advantage, Sherlock.
- Firefly: River Tam early on appears to be simply insane, but as the series progresses it becomes clearer and clearer that she can understand what's happening and recognizes how very screwed up she's become. Whedon pulls no punches in showing just how much this hurts her.
- In the Criminal Minds episode "Friends Like These" the unsub was said to be suffering from paranoid schizophrenia and insomnia. Once his medications stopped working his hallucinations taunted him into murder since the only way he could sleep was after the adrenaline rush from the kills. Throughout the episode he was begging "his friends" to just go away because he didn't want to kill and just wanted to sleep.
- Lie to Me - there was an episode called "The Core Of It" where the main suspect/witness was a young woman suffering from Dissociative Personality Disorder. When they got around to talking to the original personality she was a wreck because she had no control over the other personalities - a law student and a prostitute. She is trying to fight it - just failing.
- Through the entire first season of Heroes this was the struggle for Nikki Sanders.
- A sort of odd example in Druitt from Sanctuary. He's an abnormal whose power is to teleport, but each time he teleports he becomes susceptible to an energy being who eventually takes up residence in him. This drives him to becoming Jack the Ripper, but once he's not a villain in the series he's struggling to make sure he doesn't go mad again and takes medication to make sure. It's not a possession - the presence of the being just makes him mentally unbalanced in the form of bloodlust and rage, not actually forces him to do anything.
- Three Days Grace has the song Animal I Have Become, from the Reluctant Psycho's perspective.
- Similarly, Skillet's Monster.
- Dark Angel's "The Death of Innocence" is about a self-loathing pedophile who knows he's a menace who destroys lives and desperately begs for someone to kill him before he reoffends.
- Sami Callihan during the later stages of his EVOLVE career, though it started when he was suspended for attacking ElGenerico. He was still obsessive and Ax-Crazy but was trying to settle down and focus on wrestling.
- Members of the Wayward creed in Hunter The Reckoning have a vision for the world's supernaturals: their complete destruction by any means necessary, no matter who gets in the Waywards' way. Whatever creates Waywards rewrites their minds, makes it so that they see planning and committing mass murder and destruction as the best way of dealing with supernaturals - but while most Waywards accept this, not all do. Some struggle with their newfound genocidal urges, try to restrain themselves for a while, lead normal lives, but the urges never go away, not permanently.
- Kirei Kotomine of Fate/stay night is an especially interesting example, in that he acknowledged intellectually that his particular brand of sociopathy (only taking joy in other people's suffering) was both harmful and immoral—without being told, and without anyone noticing. He then spent twenty years trying to correct himself, establishing himself as a heroic figure within his organization, without anyone ever suspecting his true nature. He only gave up trying after his wife, whom he had married as a last-ditch effort to teach himself to love others, committed suicide in front of him in order to prove that Kotomine COULD care about others. Unfortunately, Kotomine instead realized that his only emotion afterwards was regretting that he didn't kill her himself. His later philosophical defense of Angra Mainyu is simultaneously an overt attempt to justify his own existence. There is also his interest in Shirou Emiya, the adopted son of his enemy from the 4th Grail War, Kiritsugu Emiya. Shirou, unlike Kiritsugu (who was Kotomine's Foil in every respect), is Not So Different from Kotomine.
- A Miracle of Science - A known issue for those recovering from Science-Related Memetic Disorder.
Djaya Sumatera: When you're a recovering mad scientist, you're always afraid you'll lose control and wake up some morning with a half-built time machine in the living room and a plan to go back in time to pants Hitler.
- Jack Delitt from Newheimburg has a major problem controlling his paranoia.
- Vriska Serket, to oversimplify grossly, cycles between 'I know exactly what I'm doing, and anyone who 8urns themselves on all the irons I've got in the fire totally deserved it 8ecause I'm JUST TH8 AWESOME!!!!!!!!' and 'I'm a horri8le person, what the hell is wrong with me, why doesn't everyone h8 me????????' which then tends to lead back into the former by way of 'You SHOULD h8 me! I'll MAKE SURE that you h8 me!'. She starts out in a fairly low-key phase two, but the phases intensify and she spends increasingly more time in the first category as the series progresses, since SGRUB is tailored to feeding her megalomania.
- Belkar from The Order of the Stick doesn't seem like one of these for most of the story. But here, he freely admits that his kill-happy tendencies nearly screwed him over badly since he didn't have Roy to keep him on a leash at the time. His last line in this strip hints that he is starting to hate what he is.
Isn't that why you losers keep me around? Hurting people is the only thing I'm good at.
- Calvin McMurray of Lackadaisy is normally quiet, shy, and subdued to the extreme, but when faced with the threat of or the opportunity for violence goes utterly Axe Crazy and Laughing Mad. He was thrown out of the police academy for being too "enthusiastic" during firearms training, and is very depressed about failing to achieve his dream of becoming an officer... His cousin Rocky, wanting to help him recover and find work, drags him into being a bodyguard/enforcer for the Lackadaisy speakeasy, and doesn't quite understand why Calvin gets so distraught after a job well done.
- Ice King (AKA Simon Petrikov) of Adventure Time knows that something is wrong with him, but doesn't know what. His last video log before being driven completely insane has him hoping that one day he might find his way back to sanity. In later episodes, it's mentioned that he knew that he wanted to stop using the crown because he knew what it was doing to him, but he needed its power to be able to save Marceline.
- Lemongrab. When he's not busy being an ass, he's a very sad man who's confused as to why he doesn't understand people, and why other people don't understand him. He's a failed experiment and is all too aware of his abnormality.
- The Nostalgia Critic. He regrets his psychotic episodes, doesn't want them to happen, and tries to tell people that he's down to earth and logical instead.
- Inverted in his other character, Ask That Guy with the Glasses; he's creepy, undeniably psychotic, perverted, obsessed with human sacrifices (and onions)... Then in one episode his medicine wears off. Turns out in his lucid moments, he's actually completely aware that he's being drugged into being so awful, and now's his chance to escape and - nope, gets drugged again and it's business as usual.
- The AI protagonist of The Last Angel is a weird hybrid of this and The Mad Hatter. Nemesis is fully aware she isn't mentally stable, but she only cares because it interferes with her ability to perform her self-appointed mission: revenge on the alien empire that enslaved humanity despite her best efforts. She absolutely loves playing up her madness to terrorize her enemies and exploit their fear of AI.
- Worm has Regent, resident Token Evil Teammate of the Undersiders due to his high-functioning sociopathy...and doesn't actually like it all, since said sociopathy was a defense mechanism against Heartbreaker's Mind Rape Emotion Bomb powers. He really does want to experience unselfish love and a full emotional spectrum, but he himself admits he's so dead inside he can't even work up enough emotion to be truly upset by the way he acts.
- Truth in Television. Charles Whitman, before barricading himself in a belltower and killing 14 people, wrote a suicide note explaining that he knew something was very, very wrong with him and to use any money left over from his life insurance to pay for research to prevent it from happening again. (Turns out he had a brain tumor pressing on his amygdala.)
- Though not psychos, many people suffering from Bi-Polar disorder and/or borderline personality are this. Sure, they enjoy their lapses into euphoria, but they can make a lot of wrong decisions when they can barely control themselves. Fighting against their desires and trying to stabilize their emotions when having either a manic episode or a depressive episode is a sign that they want to be in control, since they are not mad, they can surely tell when having abnormal mood swings and will try to handle them.