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Did You Think I Can't Feel?
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" Before I put on this dress, you couldn't even remember my name."
Alice is an all around nice girl: she's quiet and maybe a bit of a pushover, but every so often she hints at having some deep Hidden Depths. She's sure to do whatever Bobby asks her, not just because of her loyalty but because she "doesn't seem to mind". She may even have a crush on Bobby, who seldom notices, dates everyone else but her, and asks her for dating advice. Over the course of the story Bobby will go on adventures and drag Alice along with him, putting her through progressively more embarrassing, painful, and emotionally hurtful situations while ignoring her feelings. She won't complain, and will likely offer advice and help however she can.
Until she says "No". Bobby will be blown away and fail to understand why: "How can you be so selfish? I've always treated you right!"
At this point Alice lets loose a simple yet powerful question: "Did you think I can't feel?"
Turns out that Alice may be Stoic or even an Extreme Doormat, and that she'll tolerate heaps of emotional torture just to be next to Bobby even if she can't date him... but he's finally crossed the line, not because of his schemes, but for both failing to consider she has feelings and that he was badly hurting them. Alice will then painfully lay out just what it is he's put her through and leave. If Alice is especially nice, you can expect at least some violence to follow. If Alice is very shy she may run away instead, leaving it up to another character to enlighten Bobby on his carelessness.
Knocked out of his egocentric worldview, Bobby now has to find a way to patch up their friendship or pursue a romance. In a kid's show, this is usually accompanied with An Aesop about considering other people's feelings.
Alice can be of either gender, but as a character there are a lot of types that fit: The Nice Guy, The Stoic, Extreme Doormat, The Cutie, Cloudcuckoolander (though they may be Bobby if they are very inconsiderate). Bobby may be Hot Blooded, Horrible Judge of Character, or Oblivious to Love. One common variant is for Alice to be an outsider other kids pick on, dehumanizing her until she snaps with the above.
Alice may be motivated by I Just Want My Beloved to Be Happy and realize she's not at all happy, grow angry that All Love Is Unrequited, or that Bobby never notices (or sends mixed signals) to her advances.
If this happens in the beginning of the story, this may lead to Madden Into Misanthropy as Alice changes her character radically. Compare Not So Stoic, where a Stoic is pushed past their limits. Also compare Stoic Woobie.
Not to be confused with " Don't Think. Feel."
Examples:
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Anime & Manga
Comic Books
Film
- In Gosford Park, Commander Meredith was eating jam preserves and sulking when Dorothy, a maid, walks in on him, he starts saying that his life sucks when she jumps in with a heart wrenching speech about how loving, even if it's unrequited, makes life worthwhile and worth living. It helps to mention that Dorothy was in love with the butler Jennings, and though she often hinted to him she was interested, he was always too afraid to start anything. Not expecting anywhere near that emotional wisdom, he goes back upstairs and passionately kisses his loving wife.
- A variation; in Carrie, it's Miss Collins who does this for the title character after the shower prank, giving a "The Reason You Suck" Speech to her gym class.
Miss Collins: "Did any of you ever stop to think that Carrie White has feelings? Do any of you ever stop to think? No, I guess you're too busy thinking about your dates, and the prom."
Literature
- Elinor Dashwood of Sense and Sensibility, the first of Jane Austen's Emotionless Girl brand of heroines, who all have this problem, although without getting such an awesome speech to summarize it; since their society doesn't typically care about women's emotions anyway, everyone is perfectly content to assume that not showing happiness, grief, or anger means you must not have any. Naturally, it's those who keep their emotions hidden who feel more strongly than anyone:
Marianne: if the loss of what is most valued is so easily to be made up by something else, your resolution, your self-command, are, perhaps, a little less to be wondered at. — They are brought more within my comprehension.
Elinor: I understand you. — You do not suppose that I have ever felt much. — For four months, Marianne, I have had all this hanging on my mind, without being at liberty to speak of it to a single creature; knowing that it would make you and my mother most unhappy whenever it were explained to you, yet unable to prepare you for it in the least. — It was told me, — it was in a manner forced on me by the very person herself, whose prior engagement ruined all my prospects; and told me, as I thought, with triumph. — This person's suspicions, therefore, I have had to oppose, by endeavouring to appear indifferent where I have been most deeply interested; — and it has not been only once; — I have had her hopes and exultation to listen to again and again. — I have known myself to be divided from Edward for ever, without hearing one circumstance that could make me less desire the connection. — Nothing has proved him unworthy; nor has anything declared him indifferent to me. — I have had to contend against the unkindness of his sister, and the insolence of his mother; and have suffered the punishment of an attachment, without enjoying its advantages. — And all this has been going on at a time, when, as you know too well, it has not been my only unhappiness. — If you can think me capable of ever feeling — surely you may suppose that I have suffered NOW. The composure of mind with which I have brought myself at present to consider the matter, the consolation that I have been willing to admit, have been the effect of constant and painful exertion; — they did not spring up of themselves; — they did not occur to relieve my spirits at first. — No, Marianne. — THEN, if I had not been bound to silence, perhaps nothing could have kept me entirely — not even what I owed to my dearest friends — from openly shewing that I was VERY unhappy.
- Viola in the Chaos Walking series gets a moment like this early in the first book. It's the precursor to some really great character development between her and Todd and helps highlight just how deep their bond of trust grows to be.
- In Jane Eyre, Rochester deliberately provokes Jane into this: constantly gushing about his upcoming marriage to this woman who is not suited to him, and he knows it and Jane knows it, but Jane has no power to speak up because she's a governess, and in no way equal to Rochester's apparent intended. Jane takes this to awesome levels.
“I tell you I must go!” I retorted, roused to something like passion. “Do you think I can stay to become nothing to you? Do you think I am an automaton?—a machine without feelings? and can bear to have my morsel of bread snatched from my lips, and my drop of living water dashed from my cup? Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong!—I have as much soul as you,—and full as much heart! And if God had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it is now for me to leave you. I am not talking to you now through the medium of custom, conventionalities, nor even of mortal flesh;—it is my spirit that addresses your spirit; just as if both had passed through the grave, and we stood at God’s feet, equal,—as we are!”
- In Where Angels Fear to Tread by E.M. Forster, Lilia says this nearly word for word after her ex-brother-in-law, when trying to convince her to call off her marriage to her much-younger Italian fiance (who she's already married anyway), insinuates that her fiance is bullying her into staying. (unfortunatly for Lilia, they're right to try and stop her marriage, but she doesn't know this yet.)
Lilia: For once in my life I'll thank you to leave me alone. I'll thank your mother too. For twelve years you've trained me and tortured me, and I'll stand it no more. Do you think I'm a fool? Do you think I never felt? Ah! When I came to your house a poor young bride, you all looked me other - never a kind word - and discussed me, and thought I might just do; and your mother corrected me, and your sister snubbed me, and you said funny things about me to show how clever you were! And when Charles died I was still to run in strings for the honour of your beastly family, and I was to be cooped up at Sawston and learn to keep house, and all my chances spoilet of marry again. No, thank you! No, thank you! "Bully"? "Insolent boy"? Who is that, pray, but you? But, thank goodness, I can stand up to the world now, for I've found Gino, and this time I marry for love!
- There's a form of this in Yoda: Dark Rendezvous. After the Padawans Master Yoda is traveling with lose their masters, he comforts them, and one gets angry at his advice, claiming that he wouldn't understand grief. Of course, he would, and he reminds them of this. In nine hundred years there have been many friends and students lost, and grief like they can't imagine.
Live Action TV
- Drake & Josh had an episode devoted to this.
- Instead of saying it to Buffy, Spike sings it
 in the Musical Episode.
- Xander is also on the receiving end of this when, having failed to successfully ask Buffy to a high school dance, he tactlessly asks Willow (who has been crushing on him all season) to go with him as his backup.
- In Torchwood, Ianto's job description is general dogsbody: he does everything nobody else wants to do, from feeding weevils to ordering pizza, and tends to blend into the scenery unless someone (usually Jack) wants something. They're so dismissive of him and his feelings that they don't even notice that he's hiding a half converted Cyberwoman in the basement which is pretty damned oblivious. When this is finally discovered, Jack blows a fuse and starts violently question him on it, Ianto bites back: "when was the last time any of you asked me anything about my life?" It's possible that realising how dismissive they've been of him is part of the reason as to why he wasn't fired from Torchwood (at least), after this incident in the first place.
- Steve Urkel of Family Matters finally stood up to Laura after she refused to show any consideration for Steve giving her a ride to an out-of-town function, caused his car to break down by putting it into high gear and insisting she take the bed alone while Steve sleeps in the bathtub in their motel, culminating in the line "I'm a person, I have feelings and I demand to be treated with respect and dignity."
- In Coupling, Jane gives a speech to Steve about this.
- A variation in How I Met Your Mother occurs when Barney finally realises how much his behaviour post-breakup is hurting Robin, although its more a "Do you think she can't feel" as its the rest of the gang who eventually break it to him (after each realising themselves how much they weren't helping the situation).
- In Doctor Who, companion Martha spent an entire season pining after the Doctor- probably due to the fact that on top of being good looking and intelligent, he kissed her the first time they met. (To save the Earth, but still). He spent most of the time dismissing her, and constantly comparing her to his last companion and love interest Rose. Eventually she took a level in badass and left the TARDIS, telling him up straight that she wasn't going to stick around feeling second best.
- In Robin Hood after Guy of Gisborne discovers that Marian is in fact the Night Watchman (a vigilante who steals for the poor) he manages to bring the entire situation back to his unrequited feelings for her. Marian? She's more concerned about not getting hanged for treason.
- Throughout Sherlock, Molly Hooper has always had a very obvious crush on Sherlock, and always takes his abuse/taunts. In 'A Scandal of Belgravia,' Sherlock goes too far during Christmas at 221B, deducing that the reason she's dressed up is to try and seduce a man, and that she's obviously bought a present for 'someone special.' When he realizes that the man in question is him, he's stunned into silence and shame at his own cruelty. And finally, Molly calls him out on his behaviour.
(tearfully) You always say such horrible things....
- And then it leads to a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming when Sherlock apologizes (something he has NEVER done to anyone, at least in-show), gently kisses Molly's cheek and says "Merry Christmas, Molly Hooper."
Theatre
- Older Than Steam: William Shakespeare brings us The Merchant Of Venice and Shylock's "Hath not a Jew eyes?" speech to the court. While Shylock isn't a nice guy, the thrust of the speech is still the same: "I've got feelings, too."
Shylock: He hath disgraced me, and hindered me half a million; laughed at my losses, mocked at my gains, scorned my nation, thwarted my bargains, cooled my friends, heated mine enemies; and what’s his reason? I am a Jew.
Hath not a Jew eyes? hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is?
If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that.
Web Original
Western Animation
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