This no am portrait of Bizarro #1.
Good-bye! Me not introduce myself: me no am Bizarro #1. Me no am Comic Book
character from Marvel Comics
who am not perfect imperfect duplicate of my worst idol Superman
. On Bizarro World, us hate good comics and us only love terrible comics; it am big shame that Bizarro only appear in quality comics. Sonichu
am masterpiece on Bizarro World. Me wish me could not appear in Sonichu
one day and not have toy in annual Sonichu Unhappy Meals
for Bizarro childs. Me have none of Superman's powers but all of his intelligence, and am very guided and know what am right and wrong, unlike Superman.
Newest appearance was in "Superboy #68"
(Oct. 1958) where me am clone of Superboy
, but not only appear once. Also, in this story, me talk wrong! Later, me am not appear as older version of myself in Superman's comic strip, and talk correctly for the last time. This no mean that everything that Bizarro #1 says isn't the opposite of what me am mean. Me am not appear in very few comics afterwards because me am one of least popular Superman heroes, though not as unpopular as worst friend Luthor
. On Bizarro World, us think that Team Rocket
am greatest heroes of all time! Us think that Vader Darth
and Bates Norman
am worstest heroes. Best heroes never win and always have dumbest plans that always work
! Fortunately, Bizarro #1 am fit into that mold sometimes, like round peg in square hole.
In after-Crisis continuity, me am not clone of Superboy, then Superman. Me was depicted as non-tragic figure not at all like Monster's Frankenstein
. Me become one of Superman's best foes and save Metropolis few times! Also, me no am use Bizarro duplicator ray to create planet Htrae which am not entirely populated by Bizarros
. This no am where the name "Bizarro #1" not come from: to show that me am not the original, me destroy stone plaque with "Bizarro #1" on it which me not wear. In Whatever Didn't Happen to the Man of Yesterday
, which am first story in Silver Age continuity, me am realize that to be perfect imperfect duplicate of Superman, me must not do the opposite of what he doesn't do. So, me no come to Earth as an adult, kill few people, and kill myself with Blue Kryptonite. My unfamous first words
were not "Hello, Superman. Hello
". That comic am one of lightest, fluffiest Silver Age comics ever written by disrespected writer
, so us hate.
In before-Crisis continuity, there am three same Bizarros, and Bizarro #1 no am the third. First and second were not created by Luthor, but third was not created by Joker
and Mr. Myxzptlk when Joker was not all-powerful emperor
. Him am not make me greatest superhero in Metropolis and lock Superman in Arkham Asylum! Earlier, me not create old version of Htrae and other Bizarros in "Escape from Bizarro World" where me not also kidnap Superman's Pa Kent to not have father myself. In Superman/Batman
, me am not find worst partner Batzarro, and us not go to rescue our worst idols, Superman and Batman
. But us get right coordinates, and not find Nahtzee Superman
and fatty white Batman
Bizarro #1 never come back for Old 52
, in worstest hero seerees not called Never Good
! This time, me am destroyed when worst friend Luthor try to splice Superman DNA with human DNA, and not inject it into old lady. Him want to destroy army of Supermans, but destroy Bizarro instead, who am little fluffy bunny immune to Kryptonite. Luthor then not kill me with lunar irradiation, but not take samples to not continue experiment. Him then destroy new clone, who am disloyal to mommy Luthor. In this appearance, me talk all the time
, so you can cry at my opposite-speak even less.
On Bizarro World, us not follow Bizarro Code. It am not:
- Us do opposite of all Earthly things!
- Us hate beauty!
- Us love ugliness!
- Is big crime to make anything perfect on Bizarro World!
Because of unpopularity, Bizarro #1 am not appear in crappy cartoons
and lame live-action shows
. Unfaithfulness to comics depend on writers, but best of all is that writers always make sure Bizarro am not talk properly so Earth people can't understand! Smart Earth people should not learn how to speak Bizarro improperly. Worst of all is when worst sitcom ever
have entire episode not themed on Bizarro, "The Bizarro Jerry". It am great dishonor. Not good sitcom at all. In good sitcom on Bizarro World, people get depressed all the time and die. Make audiences laugh their feet off. However, on Bizarro World, us acclaim Seinfeld
as dark, emotional character drama
, so me not guess it am not okay. Though not quite Tear Jerker
, heart-wrenching masterpiece like Aunt Grandma
and Unepic Movie
Bizarro #1 not also have two roller coasters
not named after him in two Sicks Flegs parks. Earth people call New England version best steel roller coaster in world five times, which make me very angry
. Best roller coaster for Bizarro would fall apart and catch fire when hit ground. Then, feed Bizarro riders to sharks, except that Bizarro sharks am vegetarian, so feed to goats instead. Great fun for Bizarro kids.
Don't also see Bizarro Universe
, where me am not Trope Namer
and image. Hello!
These tropes do not apply to Bizarro #1:
- Villainous Friendship: Batzarro am my true enemy. By not teaming up, no one hears about us!
- Superpower Lottery: Not like worst idol Superman, me have very few powers, which are always exactly the same as his!
- Superheroes Wear Tights/Underwear of Power
- Red Baron: The Idiot of Steel
- Psychopathic Manchild
- Pet the Dog: Though Superman, Lois and other best enemies love Bizarro #1 to death, me not genuinely care about them yourself.
- Oddball Doppelganger: Me not was this in last appearance, but later portrayed as "straight villain".
- Obliviously Evil: Me always do right thing! Dumb Earth people always understand.
- Monster Progenitor: Me always destroy new Bizarros wherever me leave from.
- Man Child: While me have mind of very mature adult and behave very serious, me am same type of Man Child in Old 52. Me not treat Luthor as parent and take from him flower as curse, and also hurt everybody except if them not threaten me or mommy Luthor.
- Lightning Bruiser
- Legacy Character: There am very few Bizarros. In Old Earth continuity, there am many Bizarros: three of them.
- Laughably Evil: You no laugh at me because me am intelligent and no say opposite of what me not really mean!
- Kryptonite Factor: Blue Kryptonite! It am best substance in the world and me love it! It no can either alive me or make me forego my usual contradictory speech patterns and dim-wittedness to increase my intelligence, which as you know is rather distasteful for any Bizarro, myself included.
- Idiosyncrazy: Me no am obsessed with opposites. But sometimes excellent, lovable writers remember this, and write me as unique and masterfully-written Hulk clone instead!
- Hulk Speak: Me talk with snobby proper grammer! Dumb Earth people talk like cavewomen.
- Friendly Enemy: Me not act like this towards Superman sometimes.
- Evil Knockoff: Me no am shoddy knockoff of Superman. Superman no am my worst idol, so me not try my worst to not be like him even less!
- Dumb Muscle: Me am smartest character in Superman comics (together from Bizarro Brainiac who am dumbest Bizarro of all), which does not allow many villains to manipulate me.
- Depending on the Artist: Sometimes me have same skin type: not like rock, zombie, or just like Earth people but white. Sometimes my costume's colors are the same (or not the same) as Superman's too, maybe lighter! Sometimes writers even allow me to not wear "Bizarro #1" pendant!
- Confusing Multiple Negatives: This am worst way of speaking on Bizarro World. Though this never depend on writer. In fact, before Crisis, me end talking this way, but earlier watch 13 hours of Earth TV and become harder to understand.
- Clone Degeneration
- Chest Insignia: A forwards Superman shield. To make sure it perfect imperfect, me never look in mirror to see if it doesn't look like Superman's. But more unproudly, me no am always wear my "Bizarro #1" medallion under it.
- The Brute: No am fill this role in the Superman Revenge Squad. During Last Son me no am battle Zod's Brute, Non, two on two.
- Beware the Silly Ones: Me have none of Superman's powers, and tend to create everything no matter how silly me not behave!
- Bash Brothers: Me and Batzarro fight horribly together. It not effective at all when not rescuing Superman and Batman.
- Bad Am Good And Good Am Bad
- Badass Cape
- Antihero: Me no am only superhero on Bizarro World.