- Where is my super suit?
- It's still at the cleaners, remember?
- Probably not a good idea to shout that in public, for the sake of the masquerade.
- That's why you keep your Transformation Trinket with you at all times.
- You left it in the phone booth.
- It just appears when you spin around.
- It just appears when you say "Shazam".
- It just appears when you spin around and say "Shablagoo".
- You threw it in the dumpster.
- In your pocket.
- In your ring.
- Someone stole it.
- It's under your clothes, remember?
- Inside the trophy your daughter took with her to school for show-and-tell.
- Why don't you take off your business suit to see what's underneath?
- Did you purchase the DLC?
- Where you're going, you don't need your super suit.
- Why throw away your life so recklessly?
- It's kind of what I do.
- Death Is Cheap.
- RELAX! I am a cat! I have nine lives!
- Because I have Infinite 1-Ups.
- I am a Death Seeker because I'm oh so fed up living in this Crap Sack-Crapsaccharine World.
- Says the dude about to die by my hands.
- Do you want to build a snowman?
- Sure. We can make him tall, or we can make him not-so-tall.
- No, let's build real men out of snow.
- I'd rather build a meth lab.
- No way man! What if it comes to life and starts trying to kill me?
- When has that ever happened, except that one time?
- No no, I can't be bothered with that, I have no time for that nonsense.
- No, to tell you the truth, I'd rather go bowling.
- Would you like to build a Snowman Corporation?
- *Growling*
- No, but I wanna make a ripple, ripple, ripple!
- Captain Phasma wishes me to remind you that Stormtroopers are only to build snowmen as part of target practice exercises.
- Man, fuck you. I'll see you at work.
- Ah, nigga, don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful, nigga. Maybe if you got rid of that old yee-yee ass haircut you got, you'd get some bitches on your dick. Oh, better yet, maybe Tanisha'll call your dog-ass if she ever stop fucking with that brain surgeon or lawyer she fucking with...Nigga~
- WHAT!? Urgh! Motherfucker...
- Man, fuck you man, my kids up in there. I don't want your ass up in my house, nigga.
- Ah, nigga, don't hate me 'cause your kids love me more than they love you. Maybe if you quit being so uptight and let uncle Lamar give them some game, you'll have some harmony in your household. Nah, I just wanted to get in a hot tub, but now I don't wanna get in no funky-ass cum bucket. Nigga, fuck around and get pink eye. 'Cause you's a dirty-ass bee-I-zee-itch.
- What!?
- Do I look like I came to bargain?
- You need to ask?
- Yes! But I can't!
- You missed! How could you miss?! He was three feet in front of you!
- Wait, what?
- You know how hard it is to aim this stinkin' thing?!
- Eh, that's par for the course for me.
- …He moved.
- Shut up! Go and practice!
- D'oh, I missed!
- So I fired again, and I missed. And then I missed again. And then I fired again, and then I missed, and then I fired and I fired, and I missed. I missed both times. And then I fired, and I missed. This went on for several hours, and then I fired, and then I missed.
- He had pointed stick!
- Paper, rock, scissors.
- Did we ever hit anything with these guns?
- He had a nervous twitch fighting living targets. He never hit.
- What kind of cop am I? I can't even shoot my own son in the face at point-blank range.
- You see, the great thing about Jeremy's shooting is that you are perfectly safe just as long as you stand right in front of the target.
- Hmm... probably shoulda waited till she got her new glasses.
- I would've hit him, but this game is rated E!
- My targeting system is a little messed up.
- Did I?
- I never miss.
- The Omega Beam does NOT miss!
- I could not be more perfect.
- My shot hit Exactly What I Aimed At.
- Where are my pants?
- Wearing them. I hope.
- "Wearing them"? What are your pants wearing, exactly?
- But I'm not wearing them, that's why I'm asking!
- Then answer this: What are your pants wearing, exactly?
- I Lied. I am wearing yours.
- You THIEVING BITCH!
- If we had access to higher dimensions, we could move our pants around our bodies through the fourth dimension… and our days of dropping trouser would be over!
- I haven't brought them up the entire campaign, I must have left them in Riverdale!
- I have no pants...
- You also have no pants (no shirt; real adventurers don't need shirts!)
- That guy looks like he might be a lobbyist, let's get his pants.
- Where we're going, you won't need pants!
- My lawyers tell me I've always worn pants.
- Pants are an illusion, and so is death!
- Wearing them. I hope.
- If the construction guy said something to President Business, what would he say?
- What's a "Wowie"?
- You know, a wowie: a warge gathewing of mice, for a weason.
- I wowie, you wowie, he-she-me wowie. Wowieing, wowieology, the study of Wowie! It's first grade!
- YOWIE-WOWIE!
- Oh, is the girl you left behind out there tonight romancin'? Makin' eyes at someone else? Is she singin'? Is she dancin'?
- What can I say, except "You're welcome!"?
- Who is that girl I see, Staring straight back at me?
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP?!
- I know this is gonna sound weird, but I think the swamp is... calling to me.
- That's Avatar stuff, that doesn't count!
- Tapping mana.
- You know, the next time you people come and drive us off our land I'm gonna find a nice piece of swamp that's so God-awful, maybe then you'll leave us the hell alone.
- What am I... uh... what's it to you?
- This is now my swamp! I am the Swamp Thing!
- I know this is gonna sound weird, but I think the swamp is... calling to me.
- Why do we even have that lever?
- It was on sale.
- To unleash burning magma death on EVERYTHING.
- Because opening a pit of alligators with a doorknob would just look silly.
- You built that secret hideout, you tell me.
- Because you were waiting for some to stand there just so your crocs could have a meal.
- It really tied the room together.
- It was kind of an aesthetic choice by the architect.
- The better to take you out of the picture, out of your empire, and removed from history books.
- "Be prepared!" Yeah, we'll be prepared! ...for what?
- For the show that never ends.
- "For the death of the king!" "What, is he sick?"
- "No, fool, we're gonna kill him. And Simba, too." "Great idea! Who needs a king?"
- "Disease control code!" "Why? She was infected?" "No, you moron! Cereal!"
- Ah! I mean... uhh, um, for the... for the... for the stain... Abu got on the brand new vest you gave him.
- Prepare to Die.
- Everything.
- Prepare to be humbled.
- Be prepared! ...because I've no mercy for you! This sword will mark your graves!
- Can you feel the love tonight?
- These two are absolutely feelin' it in this animated children's movie.
- What Is This Thing You Call "Love"?
- Love only ever held me back. Only thing I'll ever feel is The Power of Hate.
- Is that a challenge?!
- Does this mean I don't get my third wish?
- If you wanted it, you wouldn't have said "I wish you grant all my wishes to the spirit and letter of the wish".
- And I can't use my third wish for more wishes can I?
- Actually you can. We tell everyone you can't, but in reality you can, we've been bluffing for centuries.
- Wishes? What do I look like, a birthday cake?
- Why does everybody wanna see my schlong?
- Does anyone wanna see MY unit?
- I can kill them all off just as easily as I will you.
- Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon?
- By the way... do you believe in ghosts?
- A ghost tried to approach me and got Larry.
- I have the Holy Spirit; the spirit of abysmal despair!
- You're a ghost. Get away from me!
- Ghosts. Commie ghosts what don't know they're dead, hoping to steal our rockets so they can fly up and paint the moon pink, and draw a Lenin face on it.
- Uh, if there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say.
- Hahaha... I guess not... That white hand on your shoulder... It's not real...
- Puh! You're just a silly little engine! I'm not scared!
- I'm dead. I'm a ghost.
- Yes, but we won! Victory hug!
- I believe ghosts are like dogs and they just sort of do things arbitrarily.
- How 'bout a nice, good, hot cup o' joe?!
- You got anything stronger?
- I like my coffee black. Like my men.
- Cor! This coffee smells like shit!
- This coffee strips me of all will to live. All that I am, all that I could be is stripped away by this black brew. It is despair made liquid.
- Yeah, I wouldn't drink the coffee. Always tasted like boiled dirt.
- Coffee tastes like your dog took a leak in it.
- This coffee tastes like dirt.
- You need to ask?
- WHO IN THE BLAZES APPLIED THAT EMERGENCY BRAKE?!!
- Coco did it!
- Tucker did it.
- You did it, you bitch.
- Did your granny say, "listen to your heart"?
- Wait, so... how many of us are there?
- Just you. If I was a copy, why would I kick my own butt?
- Enough! All fi- fou- ... ALL OF YOU! Shit. I'm fuckin' wasted and you're just sitting there.
- There were about ten Mikes in my neighborhood. Bighead Mike spent more time in jail than out of jail. White Mike was just a white guy who lived on the block. Family didn't have enough money to leave. Tall Mike played ball. Monster Mike just scared kids. And 'Mike' Mike was actually the first Mike that lived on the block, but his real name was Paul.
- Always two there are! An Evil Honeydew and Another Evil Honeydew!
- Really? You're me? Both of you? Even that one? You're my future selves? Am I having a mid-life crisis?!
- There Can Be Only One!
- We're not shadow clones; the Character Designer's out sick today! I heard he got his ass kicked by a Cloud Cosplayer.
- Who knows? I've killed at least a dozen.
- I just have one of those faces.
- Me, too. But I want yours.
- There's three of us, there's three of us. Look closely, you will see. There's three of us, just three of us, there's him and you and me.
- Uh... I'm pretty sure you're just a ghost.
- Just how many more Spider-People are there?
- Save it for Comic-Con.
- What's Comic-Con?
- At least two more with a Nerdfighter kid.
- "Say hello to the Spider-Man from the dimension where he has a gun!" "Uh...I have a gun!"
- You may know me as Spider-Man, but you may also know me as that homeless heroin addict.
- An entire Spider-Society's worth.
- I'm summoning the spiders. They will come to my call. Hundreds of them. Thousands. And all of them at my command.
- Save it for Comic-Con.
- You got a problem with cartoons?
- Cartoons will ruin your mind.
- Everybody knows that comedy is the lowest form of entertainment, next to animation.
- Comedy? More like a tragedy!
- Everybody knows live action is better than cartoons!
- Bring me the vile creature who drew this cartoon!
- I love to watch cartoons. Cartoon violence's a fascinating thing.
- Who wants to see some dumb cartoon rated G-for-kids?
- He see DEATH as a cartoon!
- (Just looking at cartoon criticism is sapping your energy rapidly.)
- Maybe you didn’t watch cartoons growing up. Or you’re not into chili dogs?
- Megatron? Is that you?
- How's the, uh... How's the escape plan coming?
- TheRe iS no wAy ouT oF heRe. It wiLl be darK sOon. TherE is nO waY oUt of hEre.
- There must be some kind of way outta here, Said the joker to the thief
- THERE IS NO ESCAPE!
- HE TRICKED ME ONCE, BUT HE CANNOT ESCAPE... THE HERMINATOR!
- It's no use; it won't budge!
- Forget it, the guards will kill you, if the electrified fence doesn't first.
- Hm? You haven't escaped. I would have noticed that. The hedgehog!
- You know that Goku makes a dramatic escape. You know the story, I'm not gonna tell it to you.
- I have thoroughly analyzed our surroundings, and I am afraid that there is absolutely no means of escape. *clang* Except that.
- I got one plan, and that plan requires this frickin' quarnex battery, so FIGURE IT OUT!
- It's a bad sign when your leader's whole exit strategy is to screw you.
- The escape is open to only one person, and that person...is me! Enjoy your last moments as you become trapped inside forever, insect!
- The only way out is through the... perfume department!
- There is no escape. The only hope is the sweet release of death.
- Oh, there's a way out, all right.
- There is?
- Absolutely! YOU'LL go as a wallet, you'll go as a belt, and our dear Frank...
- No, no, no! I don't want to hear it!
- Frank will go as...
- I can't hear you! La, La, Matilda! Waltzing, a-hoo-hoo! Hmm, Humm, la la la la la..... Billabong!
- ...a Purse!
- Aiighh... no-ho-ho-ho!!
- Ooh, a lovely ladies' purse!
- ...you drank seawater, didn't you?
- I've got to know! I've got to know! What is this place that I have found?! WHAT...IS...THIS?!
- Welcome to Hell.
- You're in bed, holding a knife at your doctor's throat.
- What are we in, Iraq?
- Just come with me and I'll show you Somewhere City's waiting for you!
- The city of stars.
- This is the Evergreen Forest. Quiet, peaceful, serene...that is, until Bert Raccoon wakes up!
- Welcome to Los Santos.
- San Diego
- We're in the World of Thematic Resolution, Jet! It's a needed climax!
- This is the Void. We don't venture out into the Void. Not even I know what's out there.
- Where is that casual acting shuttle headed?
- Why does nothing ever turn out like it should?
- When I kidnap someone and steal a holiday?
- Good times never last.
- It doesn’t matter how flawless the scheme was, how impregnable the fortress or powerful the magical weapon, it always ends with a band of adolescents shouting utter platitudes as they tear it all down. The game is rigged so that we lose, every single time. Half the world, turned into a prop for the glory of the other half. Ah. How much worse it must be, coming from a culture that still teaches you you can win. We don’t even have that, Catherine. The hope of the happy ending. We get to cackle on the way down the cliff, or maybe curse our killer with our last breath.
- I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings.
- Your ego, son.
- Can your friends do this?
- Can your friends do that?
- Can your friends pull this out their little hat?
- Can your friends go poof? Hey, looky here, ha ha!
- Can your friends go "Abracadabra," let 'er rip, and then make the sucker disappear?!
- What are you and who are you doing?
- Why is it the good villains never die?
- I am very difficult to kill. You should already know that.
- Rule of thumb, Hassan: You can't kill the Messiah.
- I'll always have extra lives.
- We're contractually obligated to keep stalling for three more seasons!
- I know Darth Vader's really got you annoyed, but remember: if you kill him, then you'll be unemployed.
- You thought you defeated me. I'm much stronger than you expected. Now I will destroy you!!
- Think you've got the best of me? Think you've got the last laugh?!
- In my first appearance, the Bat was supposed to slay me -- but I can't be killed; that's why they cast a Phoenix to play me!
- It's because of Joker Immunity, of course!
- They may join your cause and become heroes.
- What the hell are 'good villains'?
- Look Vanessa, there's good evil and there's bad evil.
- Well, the difference bein' one is a job and the other's mental sickness!
- Proper villains know offing is fine, rape is not.
- I am a professional fucking thief. I don't kill people that I don't have to, and I don't rape women.
- Vladimir was one of those old-time bad guys with honor and morals, which almost made him one of the good guys. None of us was a saint.
- Did you know there was a razorback in my truck?
- Did you ever see an elephant fly?
- Me teach you how fly!
- I fly. You don't. I win.
- According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that an elephant should be able to fly. Its ears are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The elephant, of course, flies anyway. Because elephants don't care what humans think is impossible.
- I hereby dub you, sir... er, er, by the way, what title would you like?
- Sir Not-Appearing-in-This-Trailer.
- Sir Mix-A-Lot.
- Sir Swears-a-Lot, bitch.
- Sir Apropos of Nothing.
- Don't Call Me "Sir".
- Call me Sir. Everybody does because I tell them to. I'm the boss.
- Sorry, No Dub for You.
- Sir Verb-a-Lot.
- Sir Cameos-a-Lot.
- Keep it for yourself. I'm here for reasons greater than royalty.
- Good gracious! Who left the mop running?
- Mickey.
- You did.
- What do you say to a tree?
- I am Groot?
- Trees can't even talk. And trees don't house spirits.
- Do you wanna be a follower, or do you wanna be a leader?
- Did they send me daughters, when I asked for sons?
- YOU are the MOST SEXIST — GAH! I'm embarrassed to be even RELATED to YOU!
- She... is truly my son.
- What, are you reading from a book of sexist villain clichés?
- Though we adore men individually, we agree that, as a group, they're rather stupid.
- You asked for children, right? So I sent you daughters. Little ones, to be precise.
- Time out! Let me get this straight. You know her. She knows you. But she wants to eat him. And everybody's okay with this? DID I MISS SOMETHING?
- How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?
- Mathematically impossible.
- Over NINE THOUSAND!!!
- "Three?" "No." "Forty-two?!" "No." "Billions and billions?" "No." "Blue!" "No." "Mermaidman?" "That's not even a number."
- As Obama told me, it's three!
- Quick, somebody ask Randall Munroe!
- Three: is also a number. Isn't that right, Watari?
- None. Sugar is not needed to get to the moon.
- How does the kitty cat go?
- Meow? No, wait, that's how the hedgehog goes.
- You deceive yourself.
- Meow? No, wait, that's how the hedgehog goes.
- All I wanna do is the thing I love...doesn't everyone?
- Wanna help me find my nuts?
- If you could play a swan, what would it sound like?
- *RRRRRRRNNGGGGGG!*
- Honk! Honk! Honk! Still the same sound as a natural swan.
- If anybody's playing a swan, precious, it's you.
- Boys and girls of every age, would you like to see something strange?
- NO! Get out of here with that watch! Lay off the poor beavers, will ya?! SHEEZE! You're a creep! Go away; we were having a good time until you showed up, Jeepers! ARGH! Go have some coffee with cream, or something! Because I'll tell you something! This is a happy place!
- Kid, I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the other. I've seen a lot of strange stuff.
- Strange? What's this 'strange' stuff, huh?! Are you saying that I'm strange?!
- Strange? YOU SAYIN' I LIKE DUDES!? TAKING YOU PUNKS DOWN! RAAAAA!!!!
- Where's the baby?
- Well, listen up, Sonny Jim. I ate a baby! Oh, aye! Baby: The other other white meat.
- Seeing the look on her face as her baby exploded into wet chunks... Priceless.
- All bubble blowing babies will be beaten senseless by every able-bodied patron in the bar.
- Baby don't hurt me, no more.
- Look, Jake, I respect you as a partner, but this is literally me. I need to finally accept my destiny, and eat all the babys. All of them.
- With the Mandalorian...hopefully.
- Alaska. 2000 B.C.
- Did you put the baby in the corner?
- This guy was a fierce warrior?
- They ain't the greatest heroes
But they're the only ones we've got! - We didn't set out to be superheroes, but sometimes life doesn't go the way you planned.
- I'm so brave, too bad I'm a baby.
- The Hero of Gallowmere, who fell at the first charge. The fog of war, and the shroud of time has rendered the arrow fodder the savior of the day. But we knows better.
- I hear you been tellin' about how you killed all them Jenkins brothers. With one bullet, wasn't it? Ain't that right? All these good folks here believe your little stories, don't they? Why, they believe you're just a stone killer, don't they? Seems these folks trust you. They think you're gonna save their little town. They think you're gonna save their little souls! But we know better, don't we?
- Look, red, I'm no hero. I'm just a guy from Jersey, alright?
- We're not your classic heroes. We're not the favorites. We're the other guys. We're the guys nobody ever bets on.
- They try to be heroes, but they're easy to replace! They're not the brightest, they're not the best, they're not the coolest, and they have bad breath!
- According to a loose enough definition of 'hero', we qualify. Well, more or less. The point is that good deeds were done and we were nearby.
- They ain't the greatest heroes
- Oh, no, are we in a musical?
- It's a musical! It's astronomical! We've all been practicing, we're so prepared! You're in for a musical, for it just begun! It's like Armageddon had a child by The Music Man!
- Yeah, the whole afterlife is a musical.
- This is an action movie. No singing, just fighting.
- Wait a minute. I didn't screw you up, did I?
- It's your fault, you bumbling metal-heads! I never should have made you!
- You ruined everything,
You stupid, stupid bitch.
You're just a lying little bitch who ruins things,
And wants the world to burn. - You were supposed to help me. But ya didn't!
- You've ruined everything! And now, it's time to die!
- Well... you did it. You took my one chance at happiness... and crushed it. Crushed it into little tiny bite size pieces! I really had expected better of you people. I guess I'm a loser for that too!
- I... might have fucked up, yes.
- You think you're my greatest enemy?
- You've never heard of them, and after you've finished fighting them you won't remember it even happened, but for the next 90 minutes you'll think they're the biggest threat you've faced in your entire life!
- Wait, wait. You ARE a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts, right? ...Yeah, you people are my LARGEST threat.
- Is this someone's twisted idea of strategy?
- Why Did You Have To Rip Off Carrie?
- Is it wrong that this is turning me on?!
- Why be you when you can be new?
- Remember the funny movie where the dog dies?
- Can I say that curse word now?
- Wait, I'm alone. I can swear for real! SON OF A —
- I'm gonna say the N-word!
- You watch your mouth, you little pain-in-the-ass!
- WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE!
- Hey! Watch your language around my fucking kid!
- I will be forced to use... profanity.
- You are fined one credit for a violation of the Verbal Morality Statute.
- Now, you've got to use the word 'fucking' because it makes you sound tough.
- I have no need for filthy language.
- This is a game for all ages, don't go saying those nasty words!
- I'd curse if this game had a higher rating, your confidence is so nauseating!
- Fuck you, ya dumbass, I ain't sayin' shit!
- In this house, we say 'bull spit'!
- And for gosh sake, watch your language!
- Okay, no cursing in front of the adorably innocent fairy hallucination.
- Well, it won't be convincing. It doesn't sound natural when I curse.
- You know...don't...say...sw-swears.
- I can say anything I want now. Shit, shit, shit. Damn, hell, fuck! “Fuck”, that’s a bad one. What’s another curse word so I can say it?
- Attempt it and you die!
- You stand here accused of 12 counts of murder in the first degree, 14 counts of armed theft of Federation property, 22 counts of piracy in high space, 18 counts of fraud, 37 counts of rape... and one moving violation. How do you plead?
- Guilty!
- Can we plead "that's not how we did it"?
- I haven't murdered anyone! Well, not today, anyway...
- I'll cop to public urination.
- Hahaha. I've committed no sins...
- I could not be more perfect.
- Uh... I didn't do it. Uh, at least I don't think I did it. Anyway, she probably deserved it. Whatever.
- Your Honor, it was kayfabe, shut up!
- Your Honor, we chose to double it and pass it on to the next person.
- I'm doing the math, I'm fixing the boyfriend, and keeping the baby from turning into a flaming monster! How do I do it?
- We're gonna need a blowtorch, some peanut butter, a glass of limeade, and a giant platypus butt.
- That's impossible. Your boyfriend has disowned you, and your baby is fated to become the flaming monster you always feared.
- Would you like to see a picture of my kids?
- How about a suicide pact?
- WHEN WILL THIS NIGHTMARE END!?
- On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?
- Oh, I'd say it's about a seven...point...arm ripped off.
- 1/10; would not recommend.
- What?! After all you put me through, you expect me to help you just like that? Just like that?!
- Do you trust me?
- I do not need trust, I demand obedience!
- I trust you implicitly, thieving child.
- Why the f*ck would she, bro?!
- I only trust one person, Jax. And you're talking to her.
- Trust is earned, Damian.
- How long will that take?
- Of course not! I literally just met you!
- I trust no one! Not even... SQUIDWARD'S HOUSE!
- What did she say about me? What did she say?
- What did you do without me? What did you do?
- Did you play games without me? What did you play?
- Did you think all this time that I wouldn't find out about you?!
- She called you a half-breed king.
- Do you ever wonder why we're always, like, wearing gloves?
- Where's your kid now, sheriff?!
- I have one of those? Oh, God, I have two of those!
- I don't need my kid to take care of you...because I already killed him.
- I'm home, Leonard! Were you a good boy?
- What kind of a princess are you?
- Why should I worry? Why should I care?
- Where is your honor, dirtbag?!
- Rather be deadly than honorable.
- Who gives a crap about honor?
- Don't ever lecture me about honor!
- I need to capture the Avatar first.
- Ya like jazz?
- How ba-a-a-ad can I be?
- Does this look infected to you?
- Really? A CON BABY?
- You, who are without mercy, would now plead for it?
- Villains Want Mercy
- Dude just had a massive rap sheet. He deserves none. And that dude is you!
- Who disturbs my slumber?
- For five minutes, could you not be yourself? FOR FIVE MINUTES?!?!
- Are you saying I'm stupid? Do I look stupid to you?
- Who put the "glad" in "gladiator"?
- I don't know, but his opponent put the gladius in him.
- "Oh, you're a villain, all right, just not a SUPER one." "Yeah? What's the difference?"
- We were just discussing, what's the best bit about being a pirate?
- But I don't wanna be a pirate!
- Staying home and lying around.
- Do what you want 'cause a pirate is free!
- Sailing the world and taking all your stuff!
- Lying, looting, stealing is the reason I'm a pirate!
Ransacking, pillaging, don't knock it 'til you try it!
Plundering and pilfering make up a healthy diet!
Argh, look at me, I'm doing the Booty Boogie! - Preserving the media that corporations don't.
- Homer do good?
- Wait, who's the sister and who's the cousin?
- I am both the sister and the cousin, "sister".
- Was Hercules ever like "Yo, I don't wanna fight Cerberus?"
- Beam Me Up, Scotty!
- Well, considering it knows Triple...
- Are you telling this story or am I?
- That depends. Whose point of view is this story from?
- What else can I do?
- Okay, so... We gonna talk about Bruno?
- "You're an ogre." "Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming?"
- He won't arrive until the sequel.
- Do you think maybe he's compensating for something?
- Did the red peony bloom?
- What is a red peony?
- A peony that's red.
- That does not answer my question.
- No, but Prince Albert’s in the can.
- What is a red peony?
- Where's the giant, Mansley?!
- OVER THERE! Look, Wendy's Hotel!
- On the Beach!
- …In your heart.
- Look Behind You
- Maybe the real Iron Giant from space voiced by Vin Diesel was the friends we made along the way?
- How can you read this? There's no pictures.
- This doesn't seem like the kind of page Image Pickin' would cover.
- Well, what is the use of a book without pictures or conversations?
- You do know that there's this thing called a "picture book", right?
- You mean you killed off real heroes so that you could... pretend to be one?!
- Hi, would you like to talk to me about dinosaurs?
- That is but a taste of our fury! Do you yield?
- I finally found it! NOW WHO'S GONNA STOP ME?!?
- Your Mom.
- LENNY!
- HERCULES MULLIGAN!
- Hi. I’m Oscar. You might think you know, but you have NO IDEA.
- We will not rest until you're erased from history.
- Does that mean I don't get the job?
- Who is your favorite, fearless hero?
- WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?! I MEAN WHAT SPECIFICALLY?!
- Y-y-you're not gonna shoot a puppy, are ya, Jack?
- Yes, I will. I'm the Joker!
- But that's the point.
- No, I'm just gonna pet him! Pettin' poodles makes me happy.
- Hey! Who's the pig?
- THEY CALL ME MR. PIG!
- HAACHAMACHAMA!
- Porky.
- He faced the galloping hordes! A hundred bad guys with swords! Who sent those goons to their lords?
- Don't play victim with me! IT WAS YOU!
- DO PRINCESSES FIND HIM ATTRACTIVE?!
- They do if they have good taste!
- I spent the night with a princess. Oh, and I even got pregnant once. Now, there’s story.
- Princesses? No. We have like zero luck with the ladies. My uncle, he says it's because we're grown men and we both still live with our parents, but that guy's always mean and he eats all our food, so I don't ever know what to believe with that guy.
- "What about the elk?" "Yes... Can we eat him?"
- Eat this!
- Can a heart still break once it’s stopped beating?
- Why am I naked?
- Who knows if we’ll live through this? How ‘bout a kiss for luck?
- You've got to be kidding.
- Regardless of what you may have heard, I do not kiss guys.
- You're not gonna kiss it. It's bad enough you touched it!
- I'd Just As Soon Kiss a Wookiee!
- I can arrange that. You could use a good kiss!
- Oh, I'm not gonna kiss you... Well, to the casual observer, it would appear that you're trying to make your friend Xander jealous or even the score or something. And that's on the empty side. See, in my fantasy when I'm kissing you, you're kissing me. It's okay, I can wait.
- Now pucker up and kiss it, Whoville! Boiiiiiiiiinggggg!
- Okay, how are you cooler without the mask?!
- New Jersey is too far from New York?
- What are you, geographically blind?
- I always say the minute you cross the Hudson River you're in the Wild West!
- Spider-Man, why did you create that guy?
- Are you disappointed that I'm not a murderer?
- No. In fact, I'm happy.
- You must taste blood to be a man!
- No matter how hard you hit me, no matter how much I hurt, I'm always good for a laugh. What am I?
- Shall we run for our lives?
- Shenzi Marie, please. I know what you're thinking: "We're too different. It'll never work. What will the children look like?"
- Children? You'll never have any!
- You didn't slay the dragon?
- Could you fly, quite suddenly, off the boat screaming like a girl?
- *pulls out Uno reverse card*
- I’ll do it, but only if it’s tasteful and makes sense for my character.
- Which would you rather have, the crouton or the entire caesar salad?
- Can a shark dance?
- In your dreams.
- Does Power Girl have big-?
- Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?
- If we weren't monsters shunned by society, what would you guys do?
- How could I every think she'd fall for me?
- Was the legend so big... there was no room for anyone else?
- Nothing is too big for me.
- A legend is usually bad news. Someone tells it, someone else remembers, everybody passes it on.
- DO YOU WANT TO EXPLODE?
- Wait, does that mean you put trackers on all of us?
- What inspired you to build a second Krusty Krab right next door to the original?
- We paid nine dollars for this?
- So, you think I'm...stalling?
- What's it to you?
- Uh... so, how do you guys normally handle these situations?
- Was that a mutant banana?
- Any chance you’re free tomorrow to hang out with a water guy?
- You really food inspector?
- Why is that soldier strapped to an explosive device?
- Do you know why the gods demand blood?
- Alright, which one of you gave a little kid explosives?
- Have you ever wondered why you look up at the sky for answers?
- Because the sea stopped returning my calls.
- Pointless, really. Do the stars gaze back? Now that's a question.
- What’s a death wish?
- Isn’t it a bit late for you to be out, baby girl?
- Who doesn’t want their own bucket?
- Owning a human bucket is on Gus’ bucket list.
- It takes a lot of humility to carry a bucket so magnificent.
- My bucket's got a hole in it.
- Are the streets paved with marshmallow where you come from?
- A fork? We're risking our tails for a fork?!
- Okay, so tell me, when exactly will I be allowed to hang out with boys?
- Why does a hurricane have an eye but not an ear?
- These Are Things Man Was Not Meant to Know.
- Because then it'd be a hearricane.
- Was your father by any chance a vulture?
- Have you ever felt like you were a little bit different? Like you had something unique to offer the world, if you could just get people to see it?
- Can you look me in the eye and tell me you've got this under control and it's not gonna end up in a disaster?
- What's he think I look like? A jackass?
- What if science could alter a chicken’s response to fear?
- Events here have this reporter wondering: What is the secret ingredient in Krabby Patties anyway?
- Your delicious neck wrappings are in a nice coffin! Would you like to see my parts?
- Hey, one of you bastards got a match?
- What can two little mice do?
- "What Made the Red Man Red?"
- Racism.
- Indians
- Ochre?
- A lack of sunscreen.
- Sunburns.
- Well he'd look awful silly if he were blue, now wouldn't he?
- I'm pretty sure Redman isn't actually red. Come on, now.
- Genetics, adaptation to ambient light conditions over several thousand years, and enough stereotyping by whitey to lump great variation together.
- Blue paint.
- Red paint, duh.
- The artists f@$%#d up during production.
- Communism
- Embarrassment?
- He was caught red-handed.
- Inconsistent Coloring
- Drinking lava.
- Someone read him.
- You sound surprised, is this surprising?
- What is that you’re holding?
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