Web Video: 5 Second Films
Wasting your time, but not very much.note 5 Second Films
— 5SF Motto
) is a website run by a group of actors and writers that regularly produce short films. These short films last exactly five seconds
(8 seconds, if you count the title card and 'The End'. But don't pay attention to that). The subject of said films are almost completely random, with only a few subjects and characters referenced more than once.
Their website can be found here
. In addition, they have a YouTube channel
; useful, since it has some of their earlier videos that are no longer accessible on their main site.
The troupe began pre-production for a 5400-second feature-length adaptation of Dude Bro Party Massacre 3 with the opening of a Kickstarter campaign
. Production started in September 2013 and is planned for completion around Summer 2014.
Not to be confused with Five Second Movies
These films provide examples of:
- Affectionate Parody
- April Fools' Day: As an April Fool's prank in 2009, the team took out most of their preceding content and replaced it with an... interesting web animation called "Telekats".
- As Himself: Most of the videos.
- Animation Age Ghetto: Parodied in-universe in Truman Capote's Children's Hour.
- Artifact Title: Sometimes, they fit a bit more content into the episodes by continuing the audio into the ending frame. The fans get a bit annoyed at this.
- Ass Pull: Used in-universe in 'LOST' Writer's Room
- Atomic F-Bomb: Late For Work, not for volume but for duration.
- The Baby Trap: Parodied in "The One". A guy and girl are about to do the deed, and she asks him if he's sure that she's the one for him. He reassures her, and is then shown poking holes in his condom while whispering that he's gonna make her "the one". Still quite creepy.
- Bad News in a Good Way: Richard Bitter's Favorite Joke
- Banana Peel: Subverted in "Paul Vs. Banana". Paul doesn't slip on the banana peel lying on the street, but instead gets hit by a car driven by a giant banana.
- Bedmate Reveal: Wolfman's Hangover.
- Big Damn Heroes: Tom Watson. Keeping You Safe.
- Big "NO!": Digging to China, and Whither Thou How Now, The Man In The Moon.
- Boy Meets Ghoul: Gender-inverted in "Dead in Bed".
- Black Comedy: In Magic Show Volunteer and Food Baby.
- Break The Drill Sergeant: Due to All Men Are Perverts.
- Continuity Nod: Tons of them in The Last 5SF
- The Casanova: Elliot ZANDERFLEX. Could also qualify as a Kavorka Man.
- The Cameo: Andrew W.K. on Never Gonna Drink Again and Free Hug.
- Cat Girl: Kelsey Cat.
- Choose Your Own Adventure: From the episode of the same name:
"Will you: Lead the galactic rebellion, or Make a sandwich?"
- Cloning Blues: A common occurrence in Another Monday, apparently.
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: Corporate Board Meeting.
- Corrupt Hick: Hypnotic Southern General.
- Crisis Crossover: 5SF Assemble!
- Dead Artists Are Better: Parodied and invoked in "Art Lover". A client asks a painter if his art has any value, and the replies replies "no". The client then kills the artist so the paintings' prizes will sky-rocket.
- Death Seeker: Super-Psyched.
- Deconstruction: The usual festivities of Cinco de Mayo (and shutting the fuck up) have sunk our poor friends into alcoholism and the inability to get on the wagon. GET HELP
- Dirty Cop: Officer Sminkle. Apparently, the City of Chico's most trustworthy officer.
- Discriminate and Switch: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?
- Double Standard: Mixed with Values Dissonance in Sexism Saves.
- Double Standard: Rape, Female on Male: A guy thinks it's awesome in Police Line because the suspect had large breasts.
- Downer Ending: The premises behind all the videos in the Bummer Week.
- Earth All Along: Inverted; Earth is actually the Moon.
- Exactly What It Says on the Tin: The series as a whole, but also recurring characters, Johnny Quickdeath, Dealbreaker Jones and Mr. Forgetful.
- Even Evil Has Standards: The mugger's reaction to the boyfriend parkouring away in Quick Moves.
- Everything's Deader with Zombies: Inverted in The Day Before Yesterday When Everything Was OK and There Weren't Any Zombies.
- Exact Words: "Nobody's Driving". They're driving, but nobody's at the wheel.
- Eyeless Face: The poolboy in "The Pool Boy".
- Eye Scream:
- Face Death with Dignity: Richards in Grown Men Are Talking
Dufresne Sr.: RICHARDS! Did you kill my boy?
Richards: Yes - and I accept the consequences.
[Dufresne Sr. hurls a throwing knife into Richards' forehead]
Richards: ...Thank you.
- Fan Disservice: "The Pool Boy" starts off with a pool boy looking at a blonde girl in red massaging herself and licking her lips seductively at him. Then he takes off his glasses, revealing that he has no eyes, and says "What's goin' on?"
- Fatal Family Photo: Parodied with a unique twist in 5 Second Films's "Girl Back Home". The soldier pulls out the picture of his girlfriend and is instantly shot. By his girlfriend. "I told him I look fat in that picture!".
- Freeze-Frame Bonus: Quite a few of these; prominent examples include Vote Responsibly and a blink-and-you'll-miss-it newspaper front page in Meanwhile, In Kansas...
- In Grown Men Are Talking a sign by the door reads "Animal Clothing Company", which explains the sweatered cat.
- Frickin' Laser Beams /Reality Is Unrealistic: Laser Test where the researchers gathered to view the effects of a new laser instead get into an argument about what noise it should make, much to the deep disappointment of the only scientist dedicated to sciencing.
The Board of Highly Scientific Review & Science, as you can no doubt imagine, went on to publish several papers based on Dr. Firenzi’s findings, the most prominent of which were titled “Zhoo! Zhoo! Zhoo! And the Neurotechnological Capabilities Therein” by Dr. Sandoval, and “Pew, Pew: A Rebuffing of Dr. Sandoval’s Hasty Assertions,” by Dr. Gunn. Dr. Firenzi himself disappeared from the eye of the medical world and has yet to resurface, after several long years.
- Furry Confusion: Bringing Home The Bacon.
- Future Loser: Harry Potter: Jaded Washout, depressive Future Fatass, and involved in fantasy football.
- Gag Dub: Ending to a Bad Teen Romantic Comedy.
- Gender Bender: Don't cross the streams.
- Gender-Inverted Trope: Dude Bro Party Massacre 3 is a Slasher Movie... with a bunch of guys in skimpy outfits having a sleepover and providing Fanservice and a girl as the psychotic killer. It highlists the misogyny that the genre has often been accused of.
- Genuine Human Hide: First Date Jitters.
Kelsey: I had a really great time tonight, but uhm... are your walls made of skin?
- Getting Crap Past the Radar: Inverted with The Fastest Cancelled Kid’s Cartoon Ever. Could also possibly qualify as an Accidental Innuendo.
- Girl-on-Girl Is Hot: At the end of Fortune Cookies.
- Go Out With A Terrifying Shiteating Grin: Super-Psyched.
"Yes... finally... FINALLY!"
- "Groundhog Day" Loop: A Message From the Future.
This, in turn, led to a very testy argument between Ben and Peter that only got angrier and loudier and gunnier, until Peter shot his gun in self-defense. The cops came almost as fast as the fire trucks. Unsure of where to hide his murder weapon in a house full of suspicious bric-a-brac, Peter realized he wasn't limited to just Where, but When. Knowing he shouldn't disrupt the time-space continuum too much, he bought himself a few minutes time by zipping back to just before he and Ben got in that argument, gun in hand. This, in turn, led to a very testy argument between Ben and Peter that only got angrier and loudier and gunnier, until Peter shot his gun in self-defense.
- Guy-on-Guy Is Hot: At the end of What Girls Do In There.
- Halloween Episode: The videos coming out around Halloween are typically Horror-themed.
- Hard-Drinking Party Girl: Kelsey, according to Kelsey's Maternal Instincts.
- Harpo Does Something Funny: The outtakes videos reveal that a lot of the videos are improvised.
- Hearing Voices: This is the audio gag in the sixth consecutive Ending to a Bad Teen Romantic Comedy.
Kill her. Kill her. Jesus Christ. Kill them all.
- Heh Heh, You Said X: Cockpit.
- HAHA COCK 200 DEAD
- The description reveals Serial Escalation: it turns out that this very trope is the cause of several grievous injuries and fatalities.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: Never Switch a Switcher.
- Idea Bulb: Exploited in Resourcefulness, where the lightbulb itself is used as an improvised weapon.
- Imagine the Audience Naked: Invoked in Jon Worley Gives a Speech. This turns out to be a bad idea for Worley.
- I'm a Humanitarian:
- Indian Burial Ground: Apparently, the used car in The Used Car was built on one. It also has a stuck tape.
- Infomercial: Jon Worley hawks some interesting products: Chop-Wow, Flip-a-Baby, and his own... special cleaning services.
- Jackass Genie: Shazaam: The Lazy Genie.
- Jumping on a Grenade: Parodied in Forgotten Hero. A soldier drops his grenade, and he jumps on it to save the rest of the squad... except he was the only person in the vicinity.
Soldier 2: Who did he save!?
Soldier 3: ... Nobody.
- Jump Scare: Untitled has one...by the Nesquik Bunny.
- Killer Rabbit: Meeps? ... MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPS!!!
- Killer Teddy Bear: In "Secret Admirer", Kelsey finds out that she has a secret admirer who sends her a stuffed teddy bear to sleep with... but it turns out that the bear is in fact the admirer.
- Kill Sat: Death Ray From Space. It doesn't do much.
- Lame Pun Reaction: In "Meatball Sub", the subway train is literally a Meatball bread from Subway, the food chain. Michael Rouselet is appalled at the pun, and decides to leave.
- Late to the Punchline: Brian Finally Gets Mike's Joke.
- Leatherman: The Fabulous Four
- Left the Background Music On: Guaranteed Distraction.
- Le Parkour: In Quick Moves, a guy and his girlfriend are held up by a robber. He then reveals to his relieved girlfriend that he knows parkour, and then uses it to get away himself.
- Mad Doctor: The Brilliant Dr. Eye:
Doctor: "This man is going into shock. Quick, get him ten cc's of-"
Dr. Eye: "NO! GIVE HIM AIDS!"
- Man, I Feel Like a Woman : Don't Cross The Streams.
- The Mean Brit: Stern British Matron.
- Mind Screw: Many, but prominent examples include Never Switch a Switcher, The Gift That Keeps on Giving, and Masters of the Viewniverse.
- Ms. Fanservice: Kelsey Gunn and Olivia Taylor Dudley play these roles often.
- Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant: Brian Firenzi tends to take on the more unnerving roles.
- Nine out of Ten Doctors Agree: Parodied. "Nine out of ten scientists agree... guns are dangerous." The nine scientists then use their guns to hunt down and kill the tenth one who disagreed.
- The Nineties: 90's Brian, who makes a reappearance here.
- One Steve Limit: Averted; there's loads of Brians.
- The One That Got Away: Cynthia Onethat Gotaway, to be precise (Obituary).
- Or Was It a Dream?: Dream Therapy.
- Overly Long Gag: Over a few episodes, called The Gift That Keeps on Giving.
- Petting Zoo People: In Blind Date and Bringing Home The Bacon
- Police Lineup: Played with three times.
- Prison Rape: The punchline of Gettin' Laid.
- Private Eye Monologue: The Big Creep, and subverted in The Big Drip.
- Product Placement: The New 911. With a bloodied hand gripping the phone:
"Thanks for calling 911, brought to you by Budweiser, the king of beers! And Emergency. And Hush Puppies. And-" * thud*
- "Psycho" Shower Murder Parody: "The Early Bird Killer", in which the presumably eponymous serial killer comes to kill a girl in the shower. The twist is that she had already been killed by another serial killer, who is currently taking a shower in her place.
- Puff of Logic: Five Second Films gives us an example in the form of a mailman working on the wrong day.
- Punny Name: Invoked (in a rather awesome fashion) in The Ballad of Truck Thunders◊. Subverted in the video description:
His brother, always one to try and copy Truck’s genius with wordplay, had his name legally changed to “Ama Pan,” but never found the chance to have his last name spoken first in any setting. Plus, he lost his Halen tape anyway.
- Rage Against the Reflection: Self-Hatred
- Black Comedy Rape: Lampshaded/Parodied in The Plagiarist.
- Rapid-Fire Comedy: They do compilations.
- Rated M for Manly: Grown Men Are Talking.
- Real Is Brown: It's not WW2. It's HBO.
- Real Life Writes the Plot: One of the actors broke his hand and needed a cast; this became a theme in a few of the films.
- Reality Warper: The Changeling
- Recurring Character: Johnny Quickdeath, Tony & Joey, Officer Sminkle, Elliot Zanderflex and Renegade Pervert. Maybe the Nesquik bunny. Also, the actors usually play themselves; Jon Worley has a recurring character in the form of himself as a sleazy/demonic advertiser, and Pauly P is the name of a non-sequitur-happy tragic gangsta guy.
- Recycled In Space: Inverted; Hipster Spaceship came before Hipster Submarine.
- Ret Gone: Morning After Pill.
- Retraux: Boss Greedwell's Deathbed Wish, Flarby's Secret Weapon
- Robot Dog: "Robodog, walk."
- Running Gag: SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. Then shutting up the fuck up for 4/20 and Christmas. Then it dies. And comes back from the grave.
- Russian Roulette: I USE SIX BULLETS.
- See You in Hell: Used literally in Woolthorp v. Pendergrast.
Woolthorp: I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL, PENDERGRAST!
[Woolthorp and Pendergrast shoot each other]
Later, in Hell...
- Serial Killer:
- Shark Man: In Keeping You Safe, a group of friends are attacked by a pack of hyperintelligent shark people. They are saved by Tom Watson, MP for West Bromwich East.
- Shout-Out: Weird Owl has a random Fight Club homage in the end.
- Skyward Scream: They're a fan of this. See: The Warden's Toupee, "Boarding School", Bowzer, and Dealbreaker Jones:
- Slasher Movie: Dude Bro Party Massacre 3 is a parody of this sort of film that inverts the typical genders.
- Solid Gold Poop: 24k Golden Labrador. Turns out it's only gold-plated.
- Spit Take: Morning Read. Multiple spit-takes, no less.
- Stalker with a Crush: Secret Admirer, where the "admirer" is a large, stuffed teddy bear.
- Stealth Pun:
His favorite band is…wait for it...wait for it...__________________ (guess)
- The Brilliant Dr. Eye is one as well. note
- Stylistic Suck: The Telekats shorts.
- Take That:
"Hi, I'm Hipster Superman. You probably haven't heard of me, I'm pretty obscure."
- And then there's Everyday Dubstep, which features Paul being cursed by a hipster Sadako. "Before you die, you see the empty scenester hype."
- Week 151 is "5 Second Films: Special Edition", where the team has taken pot shot after pot shot at George Lucas and his "improvements" of the original Star Wars trilogy, either adding in needless Conspicuous CGI to classic videos, bowlderizing some of the more vulgar ones, or editing them in ways that are Completely Missing the Point and ruining the original joke. For anybody who didn't get the joke with Brian looking like George Lucas, sitting in his director's seat the whole time in front of nothing but green screens, and having a constant cup of coffee in his hand, along with a Suspiciously Similar Song version of the Star Wars opening playing after each video, in the last one they used footage and sound clips from Episode III (Darth Vader's NO! scene)
- Paul Ryan's Workout Plan for America mocked both you-know-who and "trickle-down economics".
- The description of The Popular Girl's Graduation Speech explains that, despite the popular girl managing to rise above her teenage pregnancy to a six-figure job, her baby grew up to be a hateful piece of shit, because her mom wouldn't stop listening to late-period Bon Jovi.
- Tempting Fate: Subverted in Forever Young.
- Tomato in the Mirror: Brian discovers the horrifying truth in My Grunge Band's Playing at a Coffee Shop: he's actually from the 90s!
- Too Dumb to Live: The Midas Touch, Forgotten Hero, Wrap It Up, and predictably, Johnny Quickdeath.
- Too Incompetent to Operate a Blanket: Mocked by You Need the Twist-O-Matic
All hard to open [beat
] if you're retarded.
- Took a Level in Badass: Little Ben: Monster Hunter. The day that Ben saw his father be killed by a monster was when he knew he would grow up into a Badass monster hunter with Perma Stubble.
- The Trickster: The Changeling
- Trigger Phrase: Paul Was In The C.I.A. & The Bluebird Legacy
- Unfortunate Implications: "Chinese New Year". The Asian Girl is wearing a straw hat and speaks with Asian Speekee Engrish and Japanese Ranguage. The guy to her left even notes how racist it is.
- Violence Is Disturbing: A video has a Cat Fight with the two women rolling around scratching at each other as the male onlookers cheer and hoot excitedly. When one of the girls gouges the other's eyes out, they suddenly stop laughing (except one guy).
- Visual Pun: Drafty, The Heart Thief, Engaging The Enemy, and Meatball Sub.
- Vulgar Humor:
- "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue: Parodied in Coming of Age.
- Wondrous Ladies Room: What Girls Do In There
- World of Ham: Grown Men Are Talking, a take-off on Fifties advertising.
- Would Hit a Girl: Little White Lie
- Writing by the Seat of Your Pants: Osama Bin Laden's Final Video was filmed and uploaded a few hours after the man's death was announced.
- You Look Familiar: They have only a few actors, but man are they diverse!
- You Monster!: In "Lemons", a sentient lemon accidentally kills another lemon. He decides to process the carcass as lemon juice. This gets said, word-for-word, as the response he gets from the horrified neighbors when the cops arrest him.