YMMV / 5 Second Films

  • Archive Binge: But it won't take too long. Each video is only eight seconds long (with the occasional special), but there's five years worth of them. Estimated run time? 4 hours.
  • Crosses the Line Twice: Oh so many times.
    Ugh, here comes the guy who watched his wife get her limbs ripped apart by a robot he built named Buzz, but was reprogrammed by the government to kill his loved ones. What a buzzkill. Incidentally, we've taken to calling him that even though he tells us not to, since it reminds him of how Buzz kills stuff now. We do it anyway.
  • Crowning Moment of Heartwarming: Live Fast.
  • Ensemble Darkhorse: The Devil, mainly for his hilarious laugh.
  • Memetic Badass: Tom Watson, MP for West Bromwich East.
  • Nightmare Fuel: Let's see... there's Untitled, In The Mouth Of Madness, Super-Psyched, Face Stomptacular, Masters of the Viewniverse, Hypnotic Southern General, and Christmas Comes Back.
    • Everything from the 2016 Halloween ones. Especially the descriptions. Take this one from "To Make The Perfect Man"...
    Ellen had long since been banned from practicing surgery, but they couldn't stop her in time from barricading the men's bathroom door and filling the room with her clothes and soup cans. Police weren't able to make it to the hospital just yet, so until then the staff would have to make sure no one came in or out. It's not like Ellen was capable of much in there anyway.

    Until Jerry stopped by to use the bathroom.

    Ellen had been screening each potential suitor through a self-made peephole in the door, and finally she found someone knocking on the door who suited her tastes. He just needed a few adjustments.

    ***

    By the time police finally burst open the door and took Ellen away, Jerry was gone. He stumbled out of the room in a daze, shuffling past his car in the parking lot and onto the long stretch of lonesome road towards home. As his skin loosened around the puncture holes, every step jangled the staples in his face more and more, scraping against the open nerves under his flesh. He couldn't feel it, nor could he care. He was beautiful.

    The blood had congealed over his left eye, shutting it completely. But his right eye could still see through the pinhole of the mask to the outside world, to the mirror in front of him. And what he saw was breathtaking. A bold push-broom mustache, the likes of which he could never grow himself. A strong nose, proud brow. Everything was smooth and pliable. He had achieved his dreams.

    It was a shame, he realized, that the rest of him didn't match up. Everywhere else he looked, he saw the flabby, rough, pale skin of his former self. It sickened him that his old body couldn't live up to the promise of his new face.

    He dug in deep to the skin in the crook of his arm, and pulled. Like wet tissue paper, it sloughed off with a bare squick. He saw the tendons underneath, the beautiful bone. He grabbed more, pulling up his forearm until the flesh inverted around the bones of his fingers like a glove.

    He grasped at the skin above his pectorals, his scapulas, his trapezius, peeling them off in globs and strips. The pile of blood and gristle grew at his feet as he shredded more and more of himself in a drug-fueled stupor. All the while, he never took his eye off of his new, beautiful face.

    He reached for his kneecaps, but the blood loss caused him to lose his balance and he fell over, breaking his arms in the process. His exposed muscles twitched and flexed like a symphony in red, writhing like a fish out of water, covering the bathroom tile in his slop.

    He was finally perfect, he thought, before the spark went out in his brain forever.
    Andrew had a lot of adjusting to do after moving into the house. He never met the guy whose room he would be inheriting, but he sure collected a lot of men's beauty magazines. The other guy was always hogging the bathroom and never had much to say. And then there was Mr. Shadows.

    The rules of the house, which were posted inside Mr. Shadows' water heater closet where he slept, detailed exactly what humans were and weren't. When they were alive, they were not food. When they were dead and rotting, they were food. If the cops arrived before you could eat the body, they weren't food anymore. And human food was for humans.

    Mr. Shadows would abuse this last rule time and again, like when he crawled into the refrigerator once the lightbulb broke, or when he ordered raw sausage casings on Amazon as "snacks for everyone." The cake was the last straw, something Andrew's girlfriend left for him in anticipation of his birthday tomorrow. Mr. Shadows saw the cake sort of looked like him, and decided to have it all to himself. He even lit the candle, assuming that's just what one does before eating cake. Of course, lighting it from a distance took some work, and the closer he brought his face to the flame, the more his nose disappeared. He tried to be careful about that, but this time he was just too excited.

    Now it was all over the floor, ruined. Andrew threw it away and scolded Shadows for going through his cupboard. Then he retired to the living room, where he slept on the couch while Jerry was still in the process of moving out.

    The sound of wet gristle slapping on the floor woke Andrew up later in the evening. He sat upright on the couch, rubbing his eyes. Then he saw Mr. Shadows, staring out the window.

    A house was on fire some number of streets down, illuminating everything in its faraway flicker. It was just bright enough that it managed to shine faintly on Mr. Shadows' face, carving the front of his head away from sight. Only the hollow interior of the back of his head was visible, like a broken mannequin inside an empty store. Then it spoke.

    "So many rules," he said to Andrew. "So many little rules." He turned to look at the couch and the half of his face furthest from the window returned to view, revealing half of a wide set of incisors bent in a crooked smile.

    They both heard a muddy thud from the bathroom. Like a body falling. Andrew looked in its direction, praying that Shadows would look too. But he just stared at Andrew with his one visible eye.

    "Sleep well," he said, before turning the lights on and skittering to the bathroom. Andrew fell asleep to the churning sounds of chewing and slurping, organs vanishing into an unseen dimension, blood wiping itself off the tile with the sound of deep, sensuous licking.

    It was the last peaceful night's sleep Andrew would get.
  • Retroactive Recognition: Max Geiger from Deadliest Warrior makes numerous appearances here.
  • Squick: ‘The Twilight Saga: Eclipse’ Test Screening. Also, Claus and Susan. Ugh.
  • Tear Jerker:
    Joe got up, walked through the door, and never came back.


http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/YMMV/FiveSecondFilms