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- What are you doing here? I listed all my tropes on the main page! Yep, I'm so awesome I get my own page, not just a folder!
Aside from moi, my series is a home for lesser known, but still pretty awesome people. Not as awesome as me, of course, but honestly, who is?
Althea / Blind 'Al' Alfred
A former secret agent who hangs out with me a lot and tries to give me advice on being a good guy. She may or may not be as crazy as me...
Jack Hammer / Weasel
A super genius friend of mine who I go to for all kinds of sweet gadgets. The guy loves me
! Keeps trying to kill me for whatever reason though. Maybe he's bipolar.
Bob, Agent Of HYDRA
My best pal in the whole world and a former member of that asshole supervillain group HYDRA. A lot of people say that he's got something called Stockholm Syndrome
but I don't put much stock in that.
An ancient royal succubus and my lovely wife. She was in an arranged marriage to that old bag of bones Dracula but fell in love with me instead. She's totally hot and a real sweetie.
A mutant merc with shapeshifting powers and my cool ex-girlfriend. She's a real looker if I say so myself.
A genetically-engineered freelancer and part-time X-Man
who works with me a lot. She's pretty cool but tends to kick my ass a lot.
My secretary and good friend. She's a sweet one even though she's the ex-girlfriend of that jerkwad Taskmaster
A cowgirl-styled merc and a close friend of mine. She's a mutant with super strength and durability and is insanely good with guns. I work with her on a lot of jobs.
A Mad Scientist
supervillain, former archenemy of some cartoon duck thing
, and my psychiatrist. He's a nice enough guy and really helped through a rough patch, though him being a supercrook means that I sometimes have to fight him when I'm helping out the good guys. He wears a cool bell for a helmet that he can hit to make super powerful sound attacks.
Deuce The Devil-Dog
A dog that used to owned by Daredevil's
pal Foggy Nelson. Weasel won him from Foggy in a poker match and now he's Blind Al's guide dog. She loves him
The Great Lakes Avengers
A no-name superhero team centered in Wisconsin that I help out sometimes. I was actually a team member for a time though that meant I had to contend with my true archnemesis
, Squirrel Girl
. See their own page
An old pal of mine from Weapon X. He's a merc now and we've worked together on a few jobs.
The Mad Scientist
asshole who's responsible for making me what I am today. He keeps saying that he's a good guy now but I know that's bull.
A crazy cyborg who used to be a guard for Dr. Killebrew. He's obsessed with killing me because I shot him when I escaped Weapon X. Guy holds a serious grudge.
My archenemy. He's a crazy idiot who thinks he's the real Wade Wilson and that I stole his identity. Maybe he's right. Or maybe not. I don't really care
A merc with the power to copy skills by looking at them. We've tried to kill each other a few times, partially because I'm one of the few people who can take him evenly in a fight. Also he's Sandi's ex-boyfriend. See his own page
"This is a game of gentlemen, Mr.Wilson, not buffoons."
A snob of a hitman who wants to kill me for stealing credit for some kills he made. He's kind of a dick.
- Arch-Enemy: Well, he did kill me...
- Aristocrats Are Evil
- Bad Boss: Killed one of his mooks for bothering him in the middle of a phone call. And unceremoniously killed off Nijo once he realized he outlived his usefulness.
- The Bad Guy Wins: His first appearance ends with me dead, Nijo disposed, and him none worse for the wear. Granted, I kicked his ass a while later, but the point still stands.
- Back from the Dead
- Beard of Evil
- Big Bad: For the "Healing Factor" arc of six-editions, and later in Agency X.
- Black Eyes of Evil: Oddly enough, he seems to have those permanently in his latest appearances, even though he doesn't have any supernatural powers that we know of.
- Breaking Speech: "You're a bad guy, Wade. Embrace it."
- The Chessmaster: To the point his plan works in his first appearance. That's right, he flat-out wins. Against me.
- Combat Pragmatist / Dangerously Genre Savvy: Is he ever. For instance: Instead of facing me headfront, he just hired me and injected me with a deadly mental virus while I was busy thinking it was another hit. And it worked. Second meeting? Pulled out a gun on me while I was on the toilet.
- Cultured Badass
- Diabolical Mastermind: Gives off this vibe, particularly in our first encounters.
- Establishing Character Moment: Guess what he does upon meeting for the first time? Beat me up to a bloody pulp while calmly discussing why the job I ruined was supposed to be his ninth shymphony.
- Faux Affably Evil: He was pretty polite for a murderous asshole.
- Foil: He is essentially my polar opposite: Both of us are ruthless, implacable men who live by killing people. However, I am a very hilarious, uneducated, and sloppy mercenary, while Swan is a dead serious, cultured, and efficient mercenary. Swan even mentions the precise reason he hates me so much is because of how "uncivilized" I am.
- In the Blood: His family has been killing people since medieval times.
- Killed Off for Real: Dismembered and taxidermized. Doesn't get any more dead than that.
- Never mind, he's back in the Black List arc. What does it take to keep people dead these days?
- Knight of Cerebus: In his first appearence. But hey, no one takes the humour of my stories!...Well, maybe a little bit.
- Manipulative Bastard: See his treatment of Nijo.
- Man of Wealth and Taste
- Master Swordsman
- Mind Virus: His M.O. Also how he finished me off.
- Noble Demon: Surprisingly, he kept his promise to save me after I saved his life.
- Obviously Evil: Not so bad in his first appearances, but now he basically looks like Satan in human form, complete with horn-shaped hair and black eyes. A subtle man.
- One Last Job: He was going to retire, then I messed up his last job. He didn't take it that well.
- Only Known by Their Nickname
- Red Baron: Everyone calls him Black Swan.
- Revenge: Why he hates me.
- Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Often.
- Sharp-Dressed Man
- Unexplained Recovery: Nobody explained how he came back from being dismembered. Seriously, HOW!?
- Villainous Breakdown: He is usually calm and cool-headed. Not so much after I started playing country music non-stop in his mansion audiospeakers. Then he was... greatly annoyed.
- Wicked Cultured: This guy really likes classical music.
- Wild Card: As of lately, he seems to have no allegiance whatsoever, even trying to recruit myself to his cause.
A mutant technopathic criminal who's basically a living computer. We've run into each other quite a few times. He creeps me the hell out.
Agent Allison Kemp
A former FBI agent who got crippled in a fight with me. She's kind of crazy now and wants to take vengeance on me.
The Resurrected Presidents
American presidents resurrected by a Necromancer. Came Back Wrong
doesn't even BEGIN to describe it.
- Authority Equals Asskicking: PRESIDENTS!
- Within their own ranks too, as Washington is one tough son of a gun.
- Affably Evil: Reagan was a fairly nice fellow for someone wanting to unleash atomic holocaust on America.
- Badass Boast: "There is nothing to fear—BUT ME!" says Franklin Roosevelt.
- Bad Boss: Ol' George doesn't exactly treat his men as equals.
- Berserk Button: Do not mention John Wilkes Booth near Abe.
- Came Back Wrong: Though some of them are implied to have been evil in life as well.
- Cool Sword: Washington had a straight-up pimpin' sword. Which was used by me.
- Dying as Yourself: Washington reverted back to his actual self when I beheaded him.
- Evil Cripple: FDR.
- Evil Sorcerer: Washington becomes one near the end.
- Fat Bastard: William Howard Taft, naturally.
- Five-Bad Band: Their main lieutenants follow this logic:
- Glowing Eyes of Doom
- Handicapped Badass: FDR again.
- Hanging Judge: George Washington.
- I Am Not Left-Handed: FDR throws his chair away when the fight gets real.
- Knight of Cerebus: The moment Washington takes matters in his own hands, shit gets real.
- Large Ham: All of them.
- Let's Get Dangerous: FDR is much tougher than he seems...
- Omnicidal Maniac: They want to destroy America and rebuild it anew.
- Our Presidents Are Different: And freaking zombies, to boot.
- Physical God / Person of Mass Destruction: These presidents are tough.
- President Evil
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Abraham Lincoln dished out some verbal smackdown:
: You're a vapid, unfunny, pale shade of a hero! You're unintelligent, uncreative and unremarkable in every way! You don't seem to do anything well except heal yourself and appear EVERYWHERE! I don't understand your APPEAL!
I HATE you, these PEOPLE hate you! Tell me, what is that you are good at? What do you do?"
- Red Shirt: The D-list Presidents, i.e the ones I'm not familiar with.
- Spock Speak: Franklin Roosevelt.
- Worthy Opponent: Washington started to admire me near the end. I'm almost proud.
VetisPlease allow me to introduce Vetis, he's a man of wealth and taste, he's been around for a long long year, stole many a man's soul and faith!
In case the Stones allusion didn't hit: A crossroads demon I've messed with, and is now seeking to seal some unfinished deals.
HitmonkeyA hitman who's also a monkey
. I'm serious
! He only takes hits on other mercs and criminals so I've had some nasty run-ins with him. Worse he's got healing powers like me so he keeps coming no matter how many times he gets put down.
An evil Frankenstein-style clone of me made from my body parts that got cut off over the years. He's be sent after me a few times by that crazy bitch Ella Whitby (see below).
Dr. Ella Whitby
A crazy psychiatrist who became obsessed with me while I was staying in a mental hospital. She's a complete wacko who made Evil Deadpool to try and kidnap me. She's totally fat even though people keep saying she's not
One of the baddest, stinkiest bounty hunters in the galaxy. He came to Earth to pick up a bounty and now wants me dead because I stole his kill by accident.
This is the version of me from the Deadpool Killogy
. For more information on this creep, follow the page link.