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- What are you doing here? I listed all my tropes on the main page! Yep, I'm so awesome I get my own page, not just a folder!
Aside from moi, my series is a home for lesser known, but still pretty awesome people. Not as awesome as me, of course, but honestly, who is?
Althea / Blind 'Al' AlfredA former secret agent who hangs out with me a lot and tries to give me advice on being a good guy. She may or may not be as crazy as me...
- The Atoner: Seems like she pushed me in the right direction because she wanted to atone for bad things she did in her past.
- Cool Old Lady
- Darkand Troubled Past: See above.
- Handicapped Badass: "Blind" isn't just a nickname.
- Laxative Prank: Oh, I remember the time she pulled that on me...
- Mysterious Past: Something-something British Intelligence, something-something WWII, something-something a bright young American lad...
- Parental Substitute
- Sole Survivor: I got paid to kill her in Zaire, but I decided to kill everyone but her.
- Stockholm Syndrome: She didn't even want to leave when I finally let her go. Not that I asked her.
Jack Hammer / WeaselA super genius friend of mine who I go to for all kinds of sweet gadgets. The guy loves me! Keeps trying to kill me for whatever reason though. Maybe he's bipolar.
- Butt Monkey
- Extreme Doormat: Sometimes even I wonder why he keeps coming back.
- Gadgeteer Genius
- Geek Physiques
- Opaque Nerd Glasses
- Punny Name
- The Starscream: Usually I would off him, but he's just too useful.
- With Friends Like These...: Don't let his geeky appearance fool you, over the years he's screwed me over just as much as I screwed him.
Bob, Agent Of HYDRAMy best pal in the whole world and a former member of that asshole supervillain group HYDRA. A lot of people say that he's got something called Stockholm Syndrome but I don't put much stock in that.
- Action Survivor
- Butt Monkey
- Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: He once killed a symbiote possessed dinosaur singlehandedly. Of course, this was while trying to run for his life.
- The Faceless: Well, sort of. We saw his face once and never more.
- Fanboy: Of me, but then again, who isn't.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: Oh come on we're not that close.
- Lovable Coward
- Cowardly Lion: Few times.
- Punch Clock Villain: When he's on HYDRA's side. Of course, such a rule doesn't apply to me.
- Stockholm Syndrome
ShiklahAn ancient royal succubus and my lovely wife. She was in an arranged marriage to that old bag of bones Dracula but fell in love with me instead. She's totally hot and a real sweetie.
- Cloudcuckoo Lander: Well she did marry me of all people.
- Cute Monster Girl
- Horny Devils
- Screw Destiny: She did this just by falling in love with me.
CopycatA mutant merc with shapeshifting powers and my cool ex-girlfriend. She's a real looker if I say so myself.
- Action Girl
- Not Quite Dead: I thought she was dead for a long time. When we finally met back up... well it wasn't nice.
DominoA genetically-engineered freelancer and part-time X-Man who works with me a lot. She's pretty cool but tends to kick my ass a lot.
- Action Girl
- Badass: Given how often she kicks the crap outta me...
- Gun Fu: She's a master at it.
- Guns Akimbo
- Vitriolic Best Buds: We fight a lot but I really do like her. She totally likes me to!
Sandi BrandenbergMy secretary and good friend. She's a sweet one even though she's the ex-girlfriend of that jerkwad Taskmaster.
- Action Girl: She usually doesn't fight but when she does she can handle herself.
- Berserk Button: I really don't like it when people hurt her.
- Domestic Abuse: She suffered this from an ex-boyfriend. Me and Taskmaster took care of that real quick.
- Only Sane Man
- Platonic Life Partners
OutlawA cowgirl-styled merc and a close friend of mine. She's a mutant with super strength and durability and is insanely good with guns. I work with her on a lot of jobs.
- Action Girl
- Cowgirl: Has this as her whole motif complete with thick Texan accent.
- Deadpan Snarker: She almost makes as many jokes as me!
- Ms. Fanservice: That outfit of her's ain't exactly subtle.
- Really Gets Around
- Stripperific: Her costume as previously mentioned.
Dr. BongA Mad Scientist supervillain, former archenemy of some cartoon duck thing, and my psychiatrist. He's a nice enough guy and really helped through a rough patch, though him being a supercrook means that I sometimes have to fight him when I'm helping out the good guys. He wears a cool bell for a helmet that he can hit to make super powerful sound attacks.
- Affably Evil
- An Arm and a Leg: His arms are robotic so he doesn't have to worry too much if they get chopped off.
- Freudian Excuse: He got bullied a lot as a kid and lost his both his arms.
- Mad Scientist
- Morally Ambiguous Doctorate: You'd think so but nope! He's got a solid PHD in psychology.
- Token Evil Teammate: Of my friends and allies.
- Trauma Conga Line: His childhood wasn't very pleasant.
Deuce The Devil-DogA dog that used to owned by Daredevil's pal Foggy Nelson. Weasel won him from Foggy in a poker match and now he's Blind Al's guide dog. She loves him.
The Great Lakes AvengersA no-name superhero team centered in Wisconsin that I help out sometimes. I was actually a team member for a time though that meant I had to contend with my true archnemesis, Squirrel Girl. See their own page for more.
SluggoAn old pal of mine from Weapon X. He's a merc now and we've worked together on a few jobs.
Tropes applying to the whole group:
- Alternate Self: a whole team of alternate me!
- The Chosen One: yeah, the Contemplator chose us to save the Universe. Finally, someone recognizes our value...
Lady DeadpoolA girl version of me who's just as crazy as yours truly. She's pretty hot. Not that you heard that from me.
- Action Girl
- Actually Pretty Funny: She called me out for having the Champion temporarily join our team, but she still admitted putting him in a costume like ours was rather funny.
- Dumb Blonde: averted; sure, she is crazy, but then again, we all are in this team.
- Ms. Fanservice: at least when she keeps her mask on.
- Or not, seeing how her scars are cured eventually...
- Screw Yourself: I kinda tried that with her we first met. It was weird, even for us, and I really don't want to talk about it...
- Tomboyish Ponytail
KidpoolA mouthy kid version of me. He's kind of a brat.
HeadpoolA zombie me from some weird-ass alternate universe. He's just a head now thanks to getting tossed into a riverboat propeller.
- Back for the Dead
- Microwave the Dog: Courtesy of our beloved Dreadpool.
- Oracular Head
- Our Zombies Are Different
DogpoolA version of me that's a dog. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.
Golden Age DeadpoolAn old-school alternate universe version of me.
Dr.KillebrewThe Mad Scientist asshole who's responsible for making me what I am today. He keeps saying that he's a good guy now but I know that's bull.
- Cold-Blooded Torture: his M.O
- Evil Genius
- Evil Old Folks
- For Science!: His primary motivation.
- Heel-Face Turn: He says he left all the madness behind. Only I can see it that for the lie it is.
- Heroic Sacrifice: Died so I could get an opening against Ajax. Damn.
- Killed Off for Real
- Morally Ambiguous Doctorate
- Starter Villain
AjaxA crazy cyborg who used to be a guard for Dr. Killebrew. He's obsessed with killing me because I shot him when I escaped Weapon X. Guy holds a serious grudge.
- Best Served Cold: He had been tracking me down for ten years, killing every single member of the prison. Talk about unresolved issues.
- The Bully: This man was an ass.
- The Dragon: To Killebrew.
- Dragon-in-Chief: Also the main problem.
- Feel No Pain: Even though I gutted him alive, he was barely fazed.
- Super Strength: Dude could pack a punch.
- Killed Off for Real: By me, of course.
T-ReyMy archenemy. He's a crazy idiot who thinks he's the real Wade Wilson and that I stole his identity. Maybe he's right. Or maybe not. I don't really care.
- Arch-Enemy: Was one for me... for a while.
- Criminal Mind Games: Except we're both criminals.
- Dark and Troubled Past: Says he is the real Wade Wilson and that I'm a mercenary called Jack. Yes, it doesn't make much sense to me either.
- Evil Albino: Seriously, did he ever go to a beach?
- Gambit Roulette: His plans made about as much sense as I do.
- Hollywood Voodoo
- Magic Knight: Had a sword. And magic.
- Mysterious Past
Taskmaster.A merc with the power to copy skills by looking at them. We've tried to kill each other a few times, partially because I'm one of the few people who can take him evenly in a fight. Also he's Sandi's ex-boyfriend. See his own page for more.
Black Swan.A snob of a hitman who wants to kill me for stealing credit for some kills he made. He's kind of a dick.
- Arch-Enemy: Well, he did kill me...
- Aristocrats Are Evil
- Bad Boss: Killed one of his mooks for bothering him in the middle of a phone call. And unceremoniously killed off Nijo once he realized he outlived his usefulness.
- The Bad Guy Wins: His first appearance ends with me dead, Nijo disposed, and him none worse for the wear. Granted, I kicked his ass a while later, but the point still stands.
- Back from the Dead
- Beard of Evil
- Big Bad: For the "Healing Factor" arc of six-editions, and later in Agency X.
- Black Eyes of Evil: Oddly enough, he seems to have those permanently in his latest appearances, even though he doesn't have any supernatural powers that we know of.
- Breaking Speech: "You're a bad guy, Wade. Embrace it."
- The Chessmaster: To the point his plan works in his first appearance. That's right, he flat-out wins. Against me.
- Combat Pragmatist / Dangerously Genre Savvy: Is he ever. For instance: Instead of facing me headfront, he just hired me and injected me with a deadly mental virus while I was busy thinking it was another hit. And it worked. Second meeting? Pulled out a gun on me while I was on the toilet.
- Cultured Badass
- Diabolical Mastermind: Gives off this vibe, particularly in our first encounters.
- Establishing Character Moment: Guess what he does upon meeting for the first time? Beat me up to a bloody pulp while calmly discussing why the job I ruined was supposed to be his ninth shymphony.
- Faux Affably Evil: He was pretty polite for a murderous asshole.
- Foil: He is essentially my polar opposite: Both of us are ruthless, implacable men who live by killing people. However, I am a very hilarious, uneducated, and sloppy mercenary, while Swan is a dead serious, cultured, and efficient mercenary. Swan even mentions the precise reason he hates me so much is because of how "uncivilized" I am.
- In the Blood: His family has been killing people since medieval times.
- Killed Off for Real: Dismembered and taxidermized. Doesn't get any more dead than that.
- Never mind, he's back in the Black List arc. What does it take to keep people dead these days?
- Knight of Cerebus: In his first appearence. But hey, no one takes the humour of my stories!...Well, maybe a little bit.
- Manipulative Bastard: See his treatment of Nijo.
- Man of Wealth and Taste
- Master Swordsman
- Mind Virus: His M.O. Also how he finished me off.
- Noble Demon: Surprisingly, he kept his promise to save me after I saved his life.
- Obviously Evil: Not so bad in his first appearances, but now he basically looks like Satan in human form, complete with horn-shaped hair and black eyes. A subtle man.
- One Last Job: He was going to retire, then I messed up his last job. He didn't take it that well.
- Only Known by Their Nickname
- Red Baron: Everyone calls him Black Swan.
- Revenge: Why he hates me.
- Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Often.
- Sharp-Dressed Man
- Unexplained Recovery: Nobody explained how he came back from being dismembered. Seriously, HOW!?
- Villainous Breakdown: He is usually calm and cool-headed. Not so much after I started playing country music non-stop in his mansion audiospeakers. Then he was... greatly annoyed.
- Wicked Cultured: This guy really likes classical music.
- Wild Card: As of lately, he seems to have no allegiance whatsoever, even trying to recruit myself to his cause.
Black BoxA mutant technopathic criminal who's basically a living computer. We've run into each other quite a few times. He creeps me the hell out.
- Big Bad: As of "Blacklist".
- The Chessmaster: It's amazing how many strategies he has stored on his mind.
- Dream Team: Assembles one (of the villainous variation) to take on me.
- Hollywood Hacking
- Laser-Guided Amnesia: How he is disposed of: Swan wipes his memory so he won't ever remember me losing my healing factor, and does the same to Black Tom Cassidy. Checkmate.
- Man in the Machine: Always locked in some sort of computer room and connected to a billion wires. Weirdo.
- Non-Action Big Bad
- Shrouded in Myth: As the man himself said, "Few know of my existence".
- Sinister Surveillance
- Smug Snake: Underestimated me at every turn, and overestimated his intelligence.
- Villainous Breakdown: He flips his shit as I grow closer to defeating him and his thugs.
- Voice with an Internet Connection
Agent Allison KempA former FBI agent who got crippled in a fight with me. She's kind of crazy now and wants to take vengeance on me.
- Anti-Villain: Firmly type III.
- Bad Boss: T-Rey and Slayback are very expendable in her worldview. One doesn't exactly blame her for it, though.
- Big Bad: Took over after Black Box's defeat.
- The Chessmaster: One needs to admire how absolutely everything I did was according to her plan.
- The Comically Serious
- Create Your Own Villain: It seems I accidentally crippled her on a mission of mine. Whoops.
- Evil Cripple: Tetraplegic. Unusually, her tetraplegic status is heavily Played for Drama.
- Evil Genius
- Freudian Excuse: A thriving, honest, and hardworking agent who was permanently crippled in a gunfight by little ol' me.
- Heel-Face Turn: At the end, she regrets her actions and forgets the vengeance path once and for all.
- Machine Monotone: She talks in a Stephen Hawking-esque voice coming from her chair.
- Non-Action Big Bad: To be fair, she's not exactly in shape for it.
- The Stoic
- The Strategist
- Tragic Villain
The Resurrected PresidentsAmerican presidents resurrected by a Necromancer. Came Back Wrong doesn't even BEGIN to describe it.
- Authority Equals Asskicking: PRESIDENTS!
- Within their own ranks too, as Washington is one tough son of a gun.
- Affably Evil: Reagan was a fairly nice fellow for someone wanting to unleash atomic holocaust on America.
- Faux Affably Evil: Washington, in spades.
- Badass Boast: "There is nothing to fear—BUT ME!" says Franklin Roosevelt.
- Bad Boss: Ol' George doesn't exactly treat his men as equals.
- Berserk Button: Do not mention John Wilkes Booth near Abe.
- Came Back Wrong: Though some of them are implied to have been evil in life as well.
- Cool Sword: Washington had a straight-up pimpin' sword. Which was used by me.
- Dying as Yourself: Washington reverted back to his actual self when I beheaded him.
- Evil Cripple: FDR.
- Evil Sorcerer: Washington becomes one near the end.
- Fat Bastard: William Howard Taft, naturally.
- Five-Bad Band: Their main lieutenants follow this logic:
- Glowing Eyes of Doom
- Handicapped Badass: FDR again.
- Hanging Judge: George Washington.
- I Am Not Left-Handed: FDR throws his chair away when the fight gets real.
- Knight of Cerebus: The moment Washington takes matters in his own hands, shit gets real.
- Large Ham: All of them.
- Incoming Ham: "Who DARES to disturb HARRY TRUMAN?"
- Let's Get Dangerous: FDR is much tougher than he seems...
- Omnicidal Maniac: They want to destroy America and rebuild it anew.
- Our Presidents Are Different: And freaking zombies, to boot.
- Our Zombies Are Different: As well.
- Physical God / Person of Mass Destruction: These presidents are tough.
- President Evil
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Abraham Lincoln dished out some verbal smackdown:Honest Abe: You're a vapid, unfunny, pale shade of a hero! You're unintelligent, uncreative and unremarkable in every way! You don't seem to do anything well except heal yourself and appear EVERYWHERE! I don't understand your APPEAL! I HATE you, these PEOPLE hate you! Tell me, what is that you are good at? What do you do?"Yours truly: I DON'T GIVE UP!
- Red Shirt: The D-list Presidents, i.e the ones I'm not familiar with.
- Spock Speak: Franklin Roosevelt.
- Worthy Opponent: Washington started to admire me near the end. I'm almost proud.
VetisPlease allow me to introduce Vetis, he's a man of wealth and taste, he's been around for a long long year, stole many a man's soul and faith! In case the Stones allusion didn't hit: A crossroads demon I've messed with, and is now seeking to seal some unfinished deals.
- Big Bad Wannabe: While he is by no means harmless, Mephisto himself notes that in the larger spectrum of things, he's just a low-level demon with delusions of grandeur.
- Bigger Bad: Guess where the Necromancer-that-brought-the-presidents-back got his powers from.
- Deal with the Devil: His M.O.
- Evil Makes You Ugly: The man went from this◊ to this◊, due to Mephisto's torture. Don't @#&*$ with Mephisto, people.
- Faux Affably Evil
- Man of Wealth and Taste: In the 70's. He seems to have fallen on some bad times recently.
- Meaningful Name: Vetis is apparently the demon of corruption, if demonology is to be believed.
- Out-Gambitted: By me in the 70's. And again in the present, after I killed Michael before him.
- Rules Lawyer: Though it blows up on his face at least once.
- Sharp-Dressed Man: Again, in the 70's.
- Smug Snake: Incredibly so.
- The Starscream: He seeks to overthrow Mephisto.
- Villainous Breakdown: He does not take kindly to me ruining his plan in the present.
HitmonkeyA hitman who's also a monkey. I'm serious! He only takes hits on other mercs and criminals so I've had some nasty run-ins with him. Worse he's got healing powers like me so he keeps coming no matter how many times he gets put down.
- Guns Akimbo
- Hitman with a Heart: He gets all mopey if bystanders get hurt during fights.
- Implacable Man
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: ...Okay so he's not that big of a dick.
- Uplifted Animal
Evil DeadpoolAn evil Frankenstein-style clone of me made from my body parts that got cut off over the years. He's be sent after me a few times by that crazy bitch Ella Whitby (see below).
- Evil Counterpart
- Implacable Man: He's just as tough as me. Fortunately he's just as stupid as me to! Wait.
- Jerkass: He's a way bigger dick than me.
- Not Quite Dead: Beats me how this stupid bastard keeps coming back.
Dr. Ella WhitbyA crazy psychiatrist who became obsessed with me while I was staying in a mental hospital. She's a complete wacko who made Evil Deadpool to try and kidnap me. She's totally fat even though people keep saying she's not.
- Abhorrent Admirer
- Hollywood Homely: No man. She really is fat. I'm serious.
- Morally Ambiguous Doctorate
- Psycho Psychologist
- Stalking Is Love: She really takes this to heart.
Macho GomezOne of the baddest, stinkiest bounty hunters in the galaxy. He came to Earth to pick up a bounty and now wants me dead because I stole his kill by accident.
- Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Don't let that fat fool you.
- Fat Bastard
- Villain Team-Up: He led one against me. Though it was less Villain Team-Up and more "People I've Pissed Off" Team-Up.