Another Simone one -she really made me even more awesome and heroic, huh? SUCK IT WOLVERINE!- had me persuade Black Swan to fix Ratbag's broken mind. It worked◊, and I got to be The Hero in my final issue.
Back in the Joe Kelly days, I had a heartwarming moment with Bullseye of all people. He gave me a heart to heart when I was in a slump.....Well, as close as a heart to heart two Psychos For Hire can have. Check it out.
Also, back when I sorta died, Bullseye went to my funeral. D'awww.
And he actually shed a tear◊ when we said goodbye for the last time. Aw, I think I'm gonna miss him.
My heart-to-heart with Evan in the last issue of X-Force. Kid was feeling down about being Apocalypse's clone and that the life he thought he had was just a simulation. I set him straight on both counts and told him he was a good kid, the kind of kid I'd want my own son to be like (not that I ever plan on having kids). Then he thanked me for saving him and called me a hero. That was the first time I'd ever heard anyone call me that. Oh, and I also left him porn.
I'm the one who's shocked at what we did to Kid!Apocolypse in X-Force. Me.
In Suicide Kings, the Punisher kicked my ass and also ended up wrecking my good friend Outlaw's house, where I was currently staying because everyone was trying to capture me for something I didn't do. Well, with the cash I had, I ended up getting her a new place that wasn't full of me-sized holes and Punisher sweat. Needless to say, she was incredibly grateful. She ended up having sex with me to repay the favor, but hey, it's the smaller things that count. And no, not those smaller things, jerk.
I finally got the chance to prove how much I care about Spidey in Deadpool Annual #2, otherwise known as The Spideypool Issue. Spider-Man was facing a near endless onslaught of attacks by the Chameleon, who was disguising himself as random civilians, and was suffering from both sleep deprivation and an understandable level of paranoia. So when he collapsed, not only did I keep a bunch of ungrateful punks looking to unmask him for a reward, but I also took his place for the day and made sure to follow his moral code while protecting the city! Now our friendship is canon!
Why does Cable get top billing in the Bio section of my video game? You want to make something out of it? You want to question why I put his name at the head of the list? Huh? HUH? HUH?!