Why exactly did they have to so radically change me for the movie? What was the logic behind it?
Just to piss you off. Yes, you specifically.
Seriously, though, don't think of it as a movie that features you, because it isn't. It's your backstory; you know, the genetic and mental experiments that leave you the lunatic that we're all familiar with. The reason you are "In-Name-Only" is because you are not Deadpool yet.
If that's the case, then where the fuck is the movie you say they're setting up already?
Ah, I was considering pulling their entrails out but... guess that explains a bit. Just a bit. Still considering. Though my real origin is Marvel's lawyers telling Rob he couldn't draw Deathstroke.
I'm not sure that would make a good movie though...
I thought we were bitten by a radioactive mercenary.
I know that it's a neat skill and all but sometimes I really do wonder how I can see past the Fourth Wall.
You're just that cool.
Don't listen to him; he's just crazy. I'm sure there's a perfectly good and logical reason for it.
When are they ever going to give me the Crossover made in Geek heaven: Me vs. The Joker?
Probably because you would wipe the floor with that guy ten times over. I mean, you hate clowns, he sucks against non-serious heroes, you have healing factor and fighting skills to rival Batman and use guns, whereas he's just a normal dude who has white skin.
Why do fans forget that Fabian Nicieza guy? He co-created me and made Rob's old comics tolerable. He also wrote my first two miniseries and created my lovable Heterosexual Life-Partner Weasel. In fact, he wrote one of my last series where I get Cable as a sidekick or something. Where's the love? I existed before Joe Kelly, people.
Not to mention that Nicieza's Cable & Deadpool is probably responsible for most of 'Pool's memetic status (aside from the Shoryuken. That was Kelly.)
How come, in Daniel Way's run, in the X-Men story arc, I swim over to San Francisco and act like I've never been there before and perpetuate an offensive stereotype when, in Joe Kelly's run, San Francisco is where I LIVED?
Maybe we forgot we lived there? The upstairs attic's kind of like one of those weird thingies with the walls that keep changing around where David Bowie's prancing around in tights that make me swell with admiration and envy...
How come ol' Daniel Way's main Deadpool title is so Love It or Hate It? His stories are actually fun and focus on action, awesomeness, and hilarity!
Maybe it's because those comic nerds prefer the runs Fabian Nicieza, Joe Kelly, or Gail Simone did on us?
Oh right! Gail was the one who let me tell the story of peanut love◊ to Taskmaster.
And Nicieza had the X-Men have a telepathic party◊ in my head back in me & Cable's 8th issue. Man, I love being an X-Men. Or X-Man. Whatever Marvel's calling it this week.
Might be 'cause he writes us with a cheap, not-very-clever sense of humor. I'm supposed to be actually funny, damnit!
I'm totally stoked that I'm kinda-sorta an X-Man now, but my yellow boxes keep telling me I'm not a mutant. Can someone es'plain why I'm an X-Man so they'll shut up and lemme alone? My chimichangas are getting cold!
Well, Juggernaut's no mutant either, and he's been in both the X-Men and the Brotherhood of Mutants. He just uses a Chaos Emerald thingy. So maybe you two need to get together and start the XY-Men or something. It could double as a woman-hater's club (but the straight kind).
Cancer is technically a mutation...
the first non-founding member of the X-men was Mimic a fellow mutate and he was created by Stan Lee. Which shows that even In the beginning the X-men weren't to picky about their members species.
Where the minty-fresh hell did this sudden "split personality between my outside voice, a yellow text box and a white text box" thing come from? Did Daniel Way even know about me before he started writing me?
Deadpool's yellow text boxes are a staple of the character. The white text boxes originated during his appearance in Wolverine: Origins. In the beginning of the story, Deadpool was thinking about what to write in his diary. The thoughts of his diary became the second inner voice (white boxes) alongside the original (yellow boxes). But that was then. Now, who knows what the white boxes are.
But the yellow boxes were Deadpool's internal narration, not a separate personality.
Does anybody else think that this whole first-person thing has become really, really obnoxious?
Shut up, Deadpool! ...Wait, I'm Deadpool!
Why is Cable & Deadpool so out of continuity? After the series ended, Cable lost all of his cool powers, I dropped my quest for good, Agency X is almost nowhere to be found, I don't even have an apartment... Fuck, what happened?
How come, in the miniseries Wade Wilson's War, Flashback!Me was shown in Spider-man undies, when Spider-man did not exist yet?
What do you mean, "didn't exist"? He's been in comics way longer than you. Did you think the fourth wall would get in the way or something?
Come to think of it, why do I still have a deathwish? I mean, there are multiple ways to kill me, despite my regenerative abilities. Exacerbated in the Dead storyline which featured Daken, a character dying in his series, despite his healing factor! Not to mention the Muramasa owned by my teammate Wolverine, which he used to kill Sabretooth! If I really wanted to die, I would've done it by now.
Dude, we can't die. Thanos cursed us to never die because we're in love with Death, and Thanos was jealous.
But 1) Thanos is dead and/or trapped in another dimension and 2) Evil Deadpool (think of a clone, but more disgusting) was killed. One would assume the curse would've also worked on him because he technically was me.
Have the readers ever been subjected to how nasty our faces really are?
Frequently. It just changed from artist to artist...we should know this already.
At the end of the Agent X series Alex Hayden, AKA Agent X (duh) got cured of his irrational hatred for me (as if there are rational reasons to hate someone as awesome as me), as well as getting rid of that X-shaped scar on his face. Then we went on a road trip together, with plenty of pictures to show how buddy-buddy we were. Then, in Cable & Deadpool the guy is back, with the scar and trying to kill me! What's up with that?
Maybe he copped the same 'undo' curse that seems to follow us around. Remember how Cable kinda fixed our brain?
Don't answer that.
Oh, and the number of times our healing factor has been screwed around with? I'll bet good money that tub o' guts will show up skinny again with no explanation.
Why don't I get that one mutant Elixer to fix my cancer?
That and the whole "your healing factor is supercharged and kills anyone without cancer" i.e. what happened to those Skrull chumps that copied you?
Could Deadpool use his fourth wall-breaking powers to go back and forwards and time? He could visit previous or future panels in the comic, and have Crazy Awesome fun with his past/future selves
I did do that in the 3rd volume of Deadpool Team Up to save Hellcow.
Aren't you even a bit disturbed by the realisation that you're a fictional character? You can't even think without writers putting your thoughts down, your entire multiverse is under the thrall of guys who want entertainment...you should've Gone Mad From The Revelation in a much different way.
Why do you think Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe exists?
Sooooo...is my solo movie officially cancelled now?
Nah. Those nerdy execs are just taking their time.
Note to self: send them the same little "surprise" I sent High Moon for my game. 'Cuz I need movie redemption like Robin!
Good news! The nerds say the big screen will have my beautiful features in 2016. And if they don't... I can always go have a nice chat with them later...
Say I wonder if they room for my game for this page. Not that I've done anything wrong in my game, you can blamed High Moon Studios if they is.
Shouldn't my fourth-wall breaking abilities mean I know everyone's greatest secrets? Hell, doesn't it technically make me like a low-level telepath, since I can see everyone's thought bubbles?
I think it confuses you too much. Sure, you think you know who Spider-Man is, it's that dreamy Tobey Mc Guire...
I forget, was I always this crazy, or is that from the Weapon X experiments?
Just who the hell are all these people pretending to be me here anyway?
Since I'm so ugly, how do I manage to attract so many ladies?
Same reason as Roger Rabbit-you're funny.
Wait, why did I call myself ugly?
Will my awesomeness ever run out?
Deadpool is unkillable and immortal, right? What would happen if you fly him into cold space and leave him there? Let's assume your head explode without a space suit. Would he forever be a headless dude floating in space for all eternity?
Do I know I'm a comic book character, or do I just believe it?