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Better Than It Sounds / Film F

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  • Face/Off: Hammy actor does a hammy impersonation of another hammy actor... leaving the other with no choice but to do a hammy impression of his adversary.
  • The Faculty: Elijah Wood kills body-snatching aliens with cocaine. Jon Stewart has a beard.
  • Fail Safe: Dr. Strangelove is presented more dramatically.
  • The Fall: Paraplegic ex-stuntman tells a story to a little girl in a hospital while trying to trick her into stealing drugs for him so he can commit suicide.
  • Falling Down: A man goes around shooting people who piss him off after his car's air conditioning breaks down.
  • Fantasia: A ballet that features everything from dancing mushrooms to dinosaurs to Satan. Also, Mickey Mouse tries to industrialize workplace cleanliness, and loses control.
    • Fantasia 2000: The same, with battling butterflies, Mount Saint Helens, Depression-Era New York, and a flamingo with lots of yo-yos. Also, Donald Duck has trouble finding his girlfriend at the worst time possible.
    • Both of them: Collections of eight animated music videos, with one in common.
  • Fantastic Four (2005): Slimy Corrupt Corporate Executive tries to make the moves on his geeky college rival's ex-girlfriend, but everything he does just ends up pushing her back to him. Eventually, the executive puts on a mask and tries to freeze the college rival with liquid nitrogen.
  • Fantastic Mr. Fox: A father of 2 years to a Bratty Half-Pint Emo Teen falls off the wagon and begins indulging in an addiction that endangers the lives of hundreds of civilians, as well as the stability of his marriage.
  • Fargo: Car salesman can't convince his employer that his paperwork is finished, also fails to up-sell a promotional extra to his customers. Grumpy Old Man shits on everyone beneath him, refuses to help his daughter in an important financial transaction. A pregnant sheriff tries to work out who the main character is in the movie.
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  • Fatal Attraction: Man spends a whole weekend with a woman, gets her pregnant and then gets pissy when she tries to make him face up to it all. He's the hero in this scenario.
  • Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: A cynical, eccentric, hedonistic journalist and his half-crazed lawyer friend go on a road trip, get wicked high on every drug known to humankind, and piss off everyone they meet. The film is probably Based on a True Story (but to what extent, if so, is unclear), and nobody really knows whether it's supposed to be comedic, serious, or a political satire.
  • Felidae: A cat solves a murder mystery.
    • Or: A film that shows cats having sex and brutally killing each other.
  • Ferris Bueller's Day Off: Kid neglects his education, shamelessly manipulates the sympathy of his parents and those around him and, for his own self-gratification, triggers a series of events that results in the destruction of his best friend's father's priceless car. Without remorse. Despite this, everyone loves him (a fact lampshaded by his sister, until she makes out with a drug dealer).
    • Alternatively, a depressed high schooler is taken advantage of by his best friend, who wrecks the high-schooler's father's priceless car, somehow teaching him to stand up for himself.
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  • Fido: The heartwarming story of a young boy and his pet zombie.
  • Fierce Creatures: Multinational corporation acquires small English zoo and turns it into corporate nightmare.
    • Alternatively: John Cleese owns a zoo, shoots at a few trainers, drinks the blood of an old lady, and things happen.
  • Field of Dreams: Undead sportspeople make a farmer destroy his crops and kidnap a writer so he can solve his daddy issues.
  • The Fifth Element: The world will be saved by a hot girl with weird name. With the assistance of a cab driver and a cross-dressing radio disc jockey.
  • Fight Club: A guy and his best friend bond over practical jokes and extreme sports. They conflict over a Love Triangle. Girl uses cancer to get the attention of her Love Interest.
    • Insurance worker with multiple personality disorder takes up hypochondria and illegal bare-knuckle fighting in an attempt to cure insomnia. Unwittingly becomes founder of a nationwide anarchist paramilitary force which he subsequently defeats by blowing one side of his own face off.
    • Middle-aged WASP finds meaning in life through "Murder, Mayhem, and Soap". Lots of soap.
  • Final Destination : People avoid dying in an accident, only to die more gruesomely later.
    • Alternately: Gruesome depictions of the consequences of home and workplace safety violations.
      • Also alternatively: Death is a dick.
    • Final Destination 2 : Ditto.
    • Final Destination 3 : Ditto... yet again.
    • The Final Destination : Ditto... IN 3D!
    • Final Destination 5 : Ditto... IN 3D! Yet again.
  • Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children: Lots of children get sick, and join a cat-eyed cult led by three brothers, whose mother is a head in a box. One brother eventually grows up to become their father, only to get beaten up in a spectacular fashion. Meanwhile, a man sees dead people, thinks about deep things, and fights lots (often doing all three at the same time). Also, much of what occurs during this movie is almost completely incomprehensible to anybody who either has not played the video game on which this movie is based or has a basic understanding of physics (particularly the effects of gravity).
  • Finding Nemo: A widower and a Cloudcuckoolander with blue skin go on a quest to rescue the widower's son, who has been captured in a watered crystal jail with tiki figures in it by a dentist who is several times their size.
    • Alternatively: A man's wife is murdered by a serial killer and his son is left physically disabled. In a twisted turn of events the son is kidnapped and the man has to chase him thousands of miles with the help of a mentally challenged woman. Intended for children.note 
    • Finding Dory: The Cloudcuckoolander decides to go on a quest to find her family. It all culminates in vehicle hijacking and endangerment of several wildlife specimens.
  • Firefox: A man with PTSD from The Vietnam War is told to steal an airplane.
  • First Blood: Man tries to visit an old friend. Prejudiced lawmen don't let him do so, and end up regretting this.
    • Rambo: First Blood Part II: Same man looks for prisoners. Meets a hot chick.
    • Rambo III: Man from before fights evil with rebels. Over the top gunplay ensues.
    • Rambo (2008): The same man comes out of retirement. Everything dies.
      • Alternatively, The same man shows a bunch of pacifists the goods of mass murder, and how you should never trust yellow people.
  • A Fish Called Wanda: Femme Fatale bank robber falls in love with stuffy barrister whilst attempting to locate stolen diamonds. Her boyfriend is a psychopathic Buddhist hit-man who torments a stuttering animal lover who keeps killing dogs.
    • Alternately: Two members of Monty Python pretend not to know each other. Americans act rudely, behave selfishly, speak in vulgarities, and eat fish.
  • The Fisher King: A red knight tries to kill a homeless person. A radio DJ tries to help the homeless man. And Robin Williams gets naked.
  • A Fistful of Dollars: A mischievous troublemaker plays two rival families in order to get rich quick.
    • For a Few Dollars More: Mischievous troublemaker chases a guy obsessed with a music box.
    • The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: Three men of varying levels of morality and attractiveness search for a graveyard.
      • Alternatively: Three guys have a staring competition with a cash prize.
      • Mischievous troublemaker has angry bromance with a stubborn bandito and they go treasure hunting.
  • A Fistful of Dynamite: A man wants to rob a bank, but the money has been moved.
  • Fitzcarraldo: An opera-loving rubber merchant goes on a boat trip. Through a jungle.
  • Flash Gordon: Tevye and two Americans end up on another planet, where they meet BRIAN BLESSED, Timothy Dalton, and Max von Sydow dressed as Fu Manchu.
  • Flatliners: Jack Bauer decides to kill himself over and over. Kevin Bacon and Julia Roberts think it's an awesome idea.
  • Fletch: A wise-ass is hired by a wealthy businessman for assisted suicide. The wise-ass decides that the best way to react to this is to dress up in a variety of weird costumes and sleep with the businessman's wife. The wise-ass is treated as the hero and as being completely in the right.
    • Fletch Lives: Same wise-ass heads down south to hang out with stereotypes, sleep with a dead woman and sing Zippidy-do-da.
  • The Flight of Dragons: Bookstore owner gets pulled into fantasy world to Save Both Worlds from mad sorcerer; he ends up destroying said fantasy world with grade school science. And this is supposed to be a good thing.
  • Flightplan: A widow boards a plane with her young daughter and promptly falls asleep. (This comes from an actual newspaper listing, submitted on BBC's News Quiz)
  • Flubber: Green goo dances.
  • Fluke: A puppy has an identity and existential crisis.
  • The Fly (1986): A man's teeth fall out, his skin gets awful, and he starts to have trouble with his eyesight.
    • The Fly II: The man's son is called in to finish his father's work. Grows up to not be as pathetic as his dad was.
  • The Fog: Weird atmospherical condition and past events ruin a town's 100th anniversary.
  • Forklift Driver Klaus - The First Day on the Job: Forklift safety film goes horribly awry. This is played for laughs.
  • Forrest Gump:
    • A mentally retarded man is sent to war and becomes a ping-pong player, while his lifelong crush turns to a life of sex and drugs.
    • Man sits on bench and talks about a box of chocolates.
    • A drug-addicted girl takes advantage of a mentally challenged guy for, like, three decades.
  • The Fountain: Wolverine is vehement that he prefers his wife alive.
  • Four Brothers: Three R&B artists and Achilles' cousin try to solve their mother's murder.
  • Four Lions: The Three Stooges join Al-Qaeda.
  • Fracture: A man confesses to murder. The prosecution still struggles to convict him.
  • Frankenstein Conquers the World: A boy eats a heart and turns unto a really big guy that everyone calls by its creator's name. He fights a dinosaur and an octopus.
  • Freaks: A Russian woman marries a German dwarf for his money. His friends disapprove.
  • Freedom Writers: A teacher connects with her students by getting them to write in notebooks.
  • Frequency: A son saves his father's life, and they talk about baseball.
  • Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel: A British nerd meets a weird American girl at a pub and goes to the restroom a lot.
  • Friday: Young, unemployed blacks spend a day sitting around and smoking pot.
  • Friday the 13th: Group of people repeatedly fail to reopen a summer camp. A boy who never knew how to swim is usually to blame.
    • Or, a disfigured boy goes to a lake-side summer camp in an attempt to make his beloved mother happy.
  • Fright Night (1985): Old man tries to help teen overcome the fear of his new neighbor.
  • Fright Night (2011): McLovin suspects his ex-friend's new neighbor to be a vampire. And then McLovin became a vampire.
  • Fritz the Cat: A talking cat has lots of sex and does a lot of drugs. And he's voiced by a children's show actor. The creator of the character hated the film so much, he killed him off.
    • The Nine Lives of Fritz the Cat: The talking cat, despite having an icepick put through his head a year earlier, is now married and has either hallucinations or flashbacks about being a Nazi and going into space. Satan is homosexual.
  • From Dusk Till Dawn: Two brothers drive an RV to a strip club and encounter the supernatural.
  • Frozen: A young women’s emotions nearly doom the entire kingdom.
    • Woman reacts coldly to her sister's new boyfriend.
    • Alternatively: An animated Wicked on ice, with a talking snowman and singing trolls, where gloves are Serious Business.
    • Alternatively: A Disney movie in which a witch-queen places a curse on a beautiful princess and her entire realm, dooming both to destruction. A courageous and handsome prince storms the witch-queen's enchanted palace, battling his way past the terrifying monster that the queen created to guard it, in order to defeat the queen and lift the curse from the realm. The prince is the villain.
    • Alternatively: Poor Communication Kills: The Movie.
  • The Full Monty: Unemployed men become strippers.
  • Funny Games: Two men murder a family with the jagged shards of a broken 4th wall.
  • Fury2014: Five sociopaths drive around in a tank, have tea, then die.


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