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Fanfic / The Wedding Crashers

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A Twilight/Supernatural Crossover fic by Das Mervin and Mrs Hyde. Having ditched her old pack six years after the events of Breaking Dawn, and spent the next four years hunting down supernatural monsters, Leah is ordered by Jacob to return to La Push for his wedding to Renesmee. Not wanting to go back there alone, she convinces Sam, Dean and Castiel - with whom she has been working, on and off, for the last two years - to accompany her. Unfortunately for the four of them, the old prejudices against Leah, and humanity in general, still remain, and it doesn't help that nearly everyone thinks that Leah's in a relationship with the Supernatural lot.


This fic is pretty much part Parody Fic, part Deconstruction Fic, part Crack Fic and many parts Revenge Fic. It takes place ten years after Twilight finished, and after season six of Supernatural. Since it was written midway through season six, however, the fic assumes that everything ended peachy for Sam, Dean and Cas.

The fic can be found here or here.

The fic provides examples of:

  • Abusive Parents: Sue Clearwater, to an extent. She all but calls her daughter a whore. In the epilogue, Charlie chews her out for this and makes her go through a Heel Realization over how she was treating Leah.
  • Adaptation Personality Change: Technically. The version of Charlie used in this story is his much better received movie counterpart.
  • Age-Inappropriate Dress: Many of the female vampires for whom immortality began in their teenage years wear this, which is lampshaded by the appropriately-disgusted Winchesters.
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  • Alpha Bitch: Rosalie. In a twist, this is the main reason why she helps Sam, Dean, and Leah wreck the wedding. Because earlier, she was forced to let Renesmee plan the wedding - something which she would normally do.
  • Alternate Universe: Dual-fold: This takes place in a world where A) Twilight takes place in the same universe as Supernaturalnote  and B) Season 6 had a happy ending (given how it was written midway though Season 6)
  • Ascended Extra: Claire, who was just a baby in the original Twilight books, is given an expanded role here, becoming one of the only sane people in the Twilight cast.
  • Berserk Button: Dean really doesn't like the vampires sniffing him. He also gets pissed when Eleazar tries to convince Sam to become a vampire.
    • Likewise, Sam doesn't take the vampires threatening Dean.
    • Quil doesn't like Dean getting close to Claire.
  • Blatant Lies: When Emmett wanted to buy a 1970 Ford Mustang, Edward told him there was no room in the garage for it. A few months later Edward bought his daughter a ZR 1 convertable and put it in the exact place Emmett wanted the Mustang.
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  • Braids, Beads and Buckskins: Played for cringe when it's made obvious the gowns for the Quiluete women were chosen to be more intentionally "tribal" in nature, as opposed to the fancier dresses worn by the vampires, with the Winchesters noting they are far from flattering.
  • Break the Cutie: Renesmee has spent her entire life being treated like the world revolves around her and having her way a hundred percent of the time. When Leah belts her in the mouth she instantly bursts into tears.
  • Break the Haughty: The vampires are forced to accept that despite what they've always believed, humans ARE capable of killing them, and they're not the most powerful beings in existence.
  • Bridezilla: Renesmee is a Spoiled Brat and she's given practically full control over what happens at her wedding, do the math. It gets to the point that she orders her new husband to attack Leah after she and the Winchesters wreck the place.
  • Call-Back: Several events from both series' are referenced.
  • Crazy Jealous Guy: Quil to Claire. He goes berserk after seeing Claire give Dean a peck on the cheek.
  • Cruel Mercy: Claire convinces Dean at the end to let the vampires and werewolves have "the Princess Bride" treatment, in that they'll have a long life alone with their cowardice.
    • Can also count for Quil, whom the epilogue notes became more unhinged due to his separation from Claire. He's killed by Cas after snapping.
  • Curbstomp Battle: None of the vampires or werewolves even stand a chance against Castiel.
  • Deconstruction Fic: For a number of elements of Twilight.
    • As a result of his imprinting onto Renesmee, Jacob happily allows vampires into La Push and does nothing to stop them murdering people, despite the main purpose of the shapeshifters being to defend humans from vampires.
    • Thanks to the Cullen family's ridiculous wealth and Nouveau Riche behavior, Renesmee has become a Spoiled Brat who always believes that she'll have an unlimited supply of money, without questioning where it comes from or the possibility that it might run out one day.
  • Deadpan Snarker: The Winchester brothers. Also Leah, at points.
  • Dramatically Missing the Point: As the boys point out, the whole point of an outside wedding is to use the nature beauty of the surroundings. Instead Renesmee's wedding plans means the wedding might as well not been outside in the first place.
  • The Dreaded: Castiel is this to the vamps and wolves. Even before he reveals his true nature to everyone, they all sense that he's not human and do their best to avoid him through out most of the party.
  • Earn Your Happy Ending: Again, due to when this was written, it assumes that Season 6 ended happily. So... trope applies to Team Free Will.
    • Thanks to Jacob kicking her out of his pack, Leah ultimately gets this too. It doesn't hurt that she and Cas become an official couple.
  • Enemy Mine: Rosalie to Leah. They agree that they hate the wedding more than they hate each other.
  • Girl-on-Girl Is Hot: Sam, Dean, Emmett, Embry, and nearly every other young male at the wedding approve greatly when Leah and Rosalie stage a make-out session in the middle of the dance floor.
  • Groin Attack: Leah to Quil.
  • Hate Sink: Most of the Twilight characters are written this way (especially Jacob, Renesmee, and Bella), which serves to make it especially satisfying when Sam and Dean finally decide to stop playing nice.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: Jacob accidentally kicks Leah out of his pack, making her immune to his Alpha order. She then kicks his butt.
  • Hypocrite:
    • The majority of the Twilight cast is this regarding Leah's love life. They refuse to let Leah live down the fact that she was rightfully angry that her fiance dumped her for her cousin (even believing that her bringing Sam Winchester to the wedding as a friend was her attempt to get back at him)...and whenever she tries to correct them, they tell her that she should stop living in the past and bringing the event up.
    • They also think Leah is a slut because she's hanging around with three guys...despite the fact that as Sam and Dean noticed, most of them are dressed inappropriately and look more like hookers than beautiful.
  • I Have No Daughter: Charlie Swan disowns Bella after she said she didn't have a problem with vampires killing people to feed.
  • Insane Troll Logic: Somehow, Leah hanging out with a guy with the same first name as her ex-fiance gets interpreted as her trying to get back at him, despite the engagement breaking off several years ago.
  • Intergenerational Friendship: Dean strikes up one with Claire.
  • Irony: The author's note for Chapter 11 points out why Cas attacked Bella:
    And the reason Cas got mad and whipped out the angelic Pimp Cane? Because Bella (and therefore Meyer) was basically spewing everything she always spews about humanity, what she has been spewing in every single book in the series—and basically quoting SPN-verse Lucifer every time she does it. You know—THE DEVIL. Yeah.
    • The vampires — who spent the entire wedding acting like they were superior to humanity — end up saved from absolute massacre by Claire, one of the only humans at the wedding. Sam and Dean are quick to rub the irony in their faces.
  • Literally Shattered Lives: Happens to Benjamin after Dean stabs him with an angel blade.
  • Kick the Dog: Jacob during his beat down of Leah calls her worthless and a whore. Made worse in that, thanks to Leah's connection to the pack, she feels these things about herself. Thankfully, this also leads to Jacob accidentally releasing her.
  • Kill 'Em All: Near the end of the fic, Dean and Sam are considering just having Castiel wipe out all the vampires and werewolves.
  • Kill It with Fire: After Tia attempts to attack Dean for killing Benjamin, Cas steps in and lights her up.
  • Mass "Oh, Crap!": When the vampires realize that the Winchesters and Castiel are perfectly capable of killing them.
  • Moment Killer: True to form, Cas can't help but be technical:
    "Dude," Dean said scornfully, "he just full-on smote that bitch, and you’re gonna stand there and tell me he’s not an angel?"

    Cas looked at Dean with furrowed brows. "I didn't smite her, Dean," he said earnestly. "I just set her on fire—"

    Dean cut him off. "Shut up, Cas—you're ruining the moment."
  • Moral Myopia:
    • Leah's pack treats her like dirt partially because of how she handled the breakup with Sam Ulley after he imprinted on Emily...completely ignoring that he attacked Emily when she initially refused him and now has scars on on her face. And they have no problem with Quill imprinting on a two year old and waiting till Claire is old enough to marry him, much to the horror of Claire's parents.
    • The Cullens don't eat humans, but have no problems with their red-eyed allies eating some on the way to the wedding. At the climax, Bella loudly proclaims that it's part of the food chain which only serves to piss off Castiel enough for him to use telekinesis on her to shut up and makes her father disown her after the wedding.
  • Mundane Object Amazement: Castiel spends most of the wedding ceremony staring at a bee.
  • Nice Job Fixing It, Villain!: Towards the end, while Jacob is savagely beating Leah, he furiously yells at her that she is no longer part of his pack - which breaks the hold he has over her as the Alpha, and means she no longer has to obey him.
  • No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: Jacob to Leah, until he makes her leave his pack and she turns the tables on him.
  • Nouveau Riche: Emmett Cullen bemoans his family's spending habits, acting like the more something costs the better it is.
  • Oh, Crap!:
    • The last chapter ends with Dean and Sam realizing that Leah is having sex in the motel room next door... with Cas.
  • Only Sane Man: The Winchesters, Castiel, Leah, Embry, Emmett, Charlie, Claire, and Rosalie are the only ones who don't think everything about the wedding is great and/or believe that Leah is sleeping around.
  • Papa Wolf: Dean bonds with Claire Young during the ceremony, and he really doesn't take kindly to Quil's pedophile-like behavior towards her. In fact, when he decides to just kill all the vampires and werewolves, he states that he'll start with Quil.
  • Precocious Crush: There are hints that Claire gained one on Dean, which really does not help his relationship with the wolf that imprinted on her.
  • Reality Ensues: Bella vocally tells the brothers in front of her own father that she doesn't have a problem with other vampires killing and eating people. In the epilogue its revealed he disowned her over this.
    • Sam and Jacob being so obsessed with their mates meant they ignored a lot of the responsibilities they had as pack leaders, leaving the others to look to Embry as the leader.
    • The red-eyed vampires, according to Jacob, ate humans before the wedding happened. In the Twilight books, this wouldn't have been an issue, but Castiel coldly informs them all in the climax that even though those victims were strangers, they still had their own lives and loved ones worried about what happened to them. In short, it was murder, regardless of if the cast of Twilight knew them or not.
      • This plot point is brought up in a fan-made sequel, Hókwať where the elders insist that Sam and Jacob's packs go out and find the bodies to give the families some closure on the whereabouts of their loved ones.
  • Red String of Fate: Not just averted; we get to see what happens when it's averted. When Claire totally rejects Quil's imprint on her, he goes berserk.
  • Roaring Rampage of Revenge: A downplayed one. After Sam and Dean are accosted by vampires wanting to change them one too many times, and Leah is effectively accused of being a whore by her own mother and cousin, they retaliate by acting incredibly disruptive, insulting the guests and decor, and generally causing trouble.
  • Romanticized Abuse: The Winchester brothers are very disturbed to learn where Emily got her scars. Sam even sarcastically asks later if she apologized for making Sam Uley hit her.
  • Screw Destiny: The wolves see imprinting as fate bringing two people together. Leah is looked down on for not accepting that at face value, and when Claire totally rejects Quil's imprint on her, he loses his mind.
  • Screw You, Elves!: The cast of Twilight believes themselves to above the laws of humans. Team Free Will and Leah put them in their place in the climax after dealing with their insults and smugness for too long.
  • She Cleans Up Nicely: Leah, despite the opinions of her pack and the vampires.
  • Shut Up, Hannibal!: Castiel responds to Bella's "The Reason You Suck" Speech (seen down below) by saying that vampires are not above humans or God's creations. Then he promptly blasts her away.
  • Simple, yet Opulent: Emmett's is very much against his families idea of buying the flashiest and most expensive cars they can, and would much rather have classic muscle cars to work on, like Dean's Impala. His family however would rather him buy as they would and was denied for it.
  • Speak in Unison: Sam and Dean do this early on when Leah tells them about the vampires and werewolves. It happens again during the climax–with Leah joining in–when Cas reveals that a group of vampires were planning on eating Dean once he left the wedding.
  • Spoiled Brat: Renesmee, very much so.
  • Squick: In-Universe. After Leah and Cas having sex causes the lights in the motel to explode:
    [Dean and Sam] leapt out of their seats as showers of sparks rained down on them, and they stared at each other for a split second, before Dean suddenly gave a shout of disgust and began batting wildly at his clothes where the sparks had fallen.

    "Aw, Jesus, Sam—we just got spooged by an angel!"
  • Stylistic Suck: The third chapter taking place from Jacob's POV is written in Meyer's style. Mervin commented that she wasn't sure whether to be proud or horrified about how well she replicated it.
  • Supernaturally Delicious and Nutritious: A lot of the vampires then go out of their way to tell Dean that he smells really, really good, including the ones who don't eat humans. Castiel theorizes that this is due to Dean being Michael's True Vessel, the "most unique and powerful vessel on the planet". Dean's not exactly thrilled.
  • Switching P.O.V.: The story is told first from the perspective of Leah, then Jacob (using Meyer's signature Purple Prose), then Sam Winchester, then Dean, before switching back to Leah, and then back to Dean for the epilogue.
  • Take That!: Given that it's a deconstructive crossover with Twilight, a lot. Mainly towards the Cullens' Nouveau Riche attitude and tackiness.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Shortly after Benjamin and Tia are killed, Bella gives a speech on how a vampire eating a human is no different than a human eating meat, and that humans have no right to make vampires follow their laws. Castiel responds by blasting Bella away.
    • Jacob gives Leah a long one while he starts beating her. That is, until he accidentally releases her from his pack, and she slugs him back.
  • Took a Level in Badass: Leah. Granted, the original material didn't give her many opportunities to show her skills.
    • Charlie takes one in the "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue, where he becomes friends with Bobby and Rufus, and sometimes goes hunting with them on weekends. And not necessarily for animals...
  • Took a Level in Jerkass: Aside from Charlie, Embry, Emmett, Rosalie and Claire, pretty much all of the Twilight cast have lost whatever positive traits they had in the past.
  • Too Dumb to Live: Bella. After watching two vampires get killed by the Supernatural cast, she still challenges them with the confidence that she'll win. Cas shows her otherwise.
    • Earlier, Leah notes that only she'd be dumb enough to approach the Winchesters after Castiel told everyone that he'd kill anyone who hurt them.
  • "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue: As an addendum to the last chapter, we learn what became of the characters after this story. Of note:
    • Cas wiped out the Volturi.
    • Charlie disowned Bella after she said she condoned murder at the wedding, chewed out his wife for how she treated Leah and finally got the woman to appreciate her daughter more, and was introduced to and became friends with Bobby and Rufus.
    • The vampire community vilifies the Cullens for essentially bringing the wrath of God upon them.
    • Out of the 14 still living red-eyed vampires warned to go vegetarian in the climax, only eight heeded the warning while Cass killed the remaining six who were dumb enough to stay in the country.
    • Claire left La Push six years later and joined up with Leah, essentially becoming the Sam to her Dean.
    • Quil snapped, went after Claire, but was killed by Cas.
    • Yes, really, we were informed of this: "Castiel's bee buzzed back to its hive, blissfully unaware that it had been the subject of angelic scrutiny."
    • Embry became the de facto leader of both packs for a time since Sam U. and Jacob were too obsessed with their imprinted to fulfill their duties and also joins up with Leah, after the wolves basically became unnecessary due to the reputation Washington had gained causing vampires to stay away.
    • Rosalie and Emmett eventually get sick of listening to their family nurse their wounded egos and try to vilify Leah and the Winchesters (they're far too afraid to ever mention Castiel), so they ditch them and begin travelling across the country. Sometimes they meet up with Leah and the Winchesters, just to hang out.
    • "And Leah and Castiel had all the sex."
  • Why Did You Make Me Hit You?: Sam W. lampshades this when he sarcastically asks Emily if she apologized for making her husband hit her.

Example of: