Fanfic / The Wedding Crashers

A Twilight/Supernatural Crossover fic by Das Mervin and Mrs Hyde. Having ditched her old pack six years after the events of Breaking Dawn, and spent the next four years hunting down supernatural monsters, Leah is ordered by Jacob to return to La Push for his wedding to Renesmee. Not wanting to go back there alone, she convinces Sam, Dean and Castiel - with whom she has been working, on and off, for the last two years - to accompany her. Unfortunately for the four of them, the old prejudices against Leah, and humanity in general, still remain, and it doesn't help that nearly everyone thinks that Leah's in a relationship with the Supernatural lot.

This fic is pretty much part Parody Fic, part Deconstruction Fic, part Crack Fic and many parts Revenge Fic. It takes place ten years after Twilight finished, and after season six of Supernatural. Since it was written midway through season six, however, the fic assumes that everything ended peachy for Sam, Dean and Cas.

The fic can be found here or here.

Not to be confused with the film Wedding Crashers.

For other Twilight Deconstruction Fics, see For You, I Will, by the same authors, and Tough Love.

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The fic provides examples of:

• Abusive Parents: Sue Clearwater, to an extent. She all but calls her daughter a whore and even says to Charlie that they shouldn't interfere when Jacob is beating the crap out of Leah. In the epilogue, Charlie chews her out for this and makes her take a level in kindness over how she was treating Leah.
• Adaptation Personality Change: Technically. The version of Charlie used in this story is his much better received movie counterpart.
• Age-Inappropriate Dress: Many of the female vampires for whom immortality began in their teenage years wear this, which is lampshaded by the appropriately-disgusted Winchesters.
• Alpha Bitch: Rosalie. In a twist, this is the main reason why she helps Sam, Dean, and Leah wreck the wedding. Because earlier, she was forced to let Renesmee plan the wedding - something which she would normally do.
• Alternate Universe: Dual-fold: This takes place in a world where A) Twilight takes place in the same universe as Supernatural^note which kinda makes things confusing if a certain episode still happened and B) Season 6 had a happy ending (given how it was written midway though Season 6)
  • Related to B, the off hand mention of Rufus Turner implies Bobby never killed him.
• Always a Bigger Fish: The reason Leah and the Winchesters bring Castiel to the wedding. As powerful as the Vampires and Werewolves may be, they don't stand a chance against an angel.
• Ascended Extra: Claire, who was just a baby in the original Twilight books, is given an expanded role here, becoming one of the only sane people in the Twilight cast.
• Badass Boast:
  • In the climax of the story, Leah manages to get a small, but epic one to Jacob after he accidentally frees her from his pack, declaring that she won't do what he wants, apologize to anyone, or listen to anything he has to say anymore because he can't make her.
  • Bella attempts this at the end of her "The Reason You Suck" Speech to Castiel, declaring that she threw away her humanity in exchange for beauty, immortality, and the power to protect her family from the likes of him. She also taunts Sam and tells him what to think of her ability when he sees it in action...only for Castiel to not give her the chance to do so by telekinetically shoving her aside.
  • Cas is a more straightforward example, even more so since he only has to say a few words to frighten everyone present when Bella's rant only made her a little intimidating (if at all).
    Bella: What - what are you!?
    Castiel: I'm an Angel of the Lord.
• Berserk Button:
  • Dean really doesn't like the vampires sniffing him. He also gets pissed when Eleazar tries to convince Sam to become a vampire.
  • Likewise, Sam doesn't take the vampires threatening Dean.
  • Quil doesn't like Dean getting close to Claire.
  • Cas subtly displays this whenever someone threatens the Winchesters. He also becomes utterly furious when Bella has the gall to dismiss God's creations during her speech.
• Blatant Lies: When Emmett wanted to buy a 1970 Ford Mustang, Edward told him there was no room in the garage for it. A few months later Edward bought his daughter a Corvette convertible and put it in the exact place Emmett wanted the Mustang.
• Braids, Beads and Buckskins: Played for cringe when it's made obvious the gowns for the Quileute women were chosen to be more intentionally "tribal" in nature, as opposed to the fancier dresses worn by the vampires, with the Winchesters noting they are far from flattering.
• Break the Haughty: Renesmee has spent her entire life being treated like the world revolves around her and having her way a hundred percent of the time. When Leah belts her in the mouth she instantly bursts into tears.
  • The vampires are forced to accept that despite what they've always believed, humans ARE capable of killing them, and they're not the most powerful beings in existence.
  • Previously the talk of the Vampire community before and during the wedding, the Cullens become pariahs of that same community after Bella pisses off Castiel, literally bringing the wrath of God down on the heads of all the vampires and werewolves.
• Bridezilla: Renesmee is a Spoiled Brat and she's given practically full control over what happens at her wedding, do the math. It gets to the point that she orders her new husband to attack Leah after she and the Winchesters wreck the place.
• Call-Back: Several events from both series' are referenced.
• Condescending Compassion: It really says a lot about how the Twilight cast treats Leah when this is their version of being nice to her. For example, Renesmee offers to buy her a dress for the wedding just so she won't be wearing "some cheap off-the-rack thing" and practically hands her the bouquet during the toss, saying that maybe someone will love her now.
• Conspicuous Consumption: The Cullens go the whole hog in decorating for Renesmee's wedding just to rub their wealth in everyone else's faces. The ridiculous amount of diamonds on her wedding dress, the lavishly decorated four-foot-tall five-tier wedding cake covered in ribbon and flowers (described as "the Mount Doom of Sugar"), and the guestbook with rose-scented paper and a gold-and-ivory pen are just the tip of the iceberg. To say nothing of the wedding presents on display, including the keys to a two-story house and a fancy car, a sapphire-and-diamond necklace (from the bride's mother, complete with pretentiously engraved gold placard reading "More than my own life"), a trip to a Parisian fashion show to pick out a custom-designed wardrobe, and an original Rembrandt painting.
• Covered in Gunge: When Quil assaults Dean for touching Claire, Leah punches him so hard he flies across the room and straight into the wedding cake.
• Crazy Jealous Guy: Quil to Claire. He goes berserk after seeing Claire give Dean a peck on the cheek.
• Cruel Mercy: Claire convinces Dean at the end to let the vampires and werewolves have "the Princess Bride" treatment, in that they'll have a long life alone with their cowardice.
  • Can also count for Quil, whom the epilogue notes became more unhinged due to his separation from Claire. He's killed by Cas after snapping.
• Curbstomp Battle: None of the vampires or werewolves even stand a chance against Castiel.
• Deadpan Snarker: The Winchester brothers. Also Leah, at points.
• Deconstruction Fic: For a number of elements of Twilight.
  • As a result of his imprinting onto Renesmee, Jacob happily allows vampires into La Push and does nothing to stop them murdering people, despite the main purpose of the shapeshifters being to defend humans from vampires.
  • Thanks to the Cullen family's ridiculous wealth and Nouveau Riche behavior, Renesmee has become a Spoiled Brat who always believes that she'll have an unlimited supply of money, without questioning where it comes from or the possibility that it might run out one day.
  • The omnipresent Protagonist-Centered Morality within the books is torn apart by showing the behavior the vampires and werewolves partake in through a more sane perspective. Within the perspective of the "heroes", they are practically perfect in every way and flaunt it to anyone who cares to know. By the perception of the Winchester Brothers, they are nothing but narcissists, murderers, pedophiles (Jacob and Quil), misogynists, rich snubs, racists or just plain jerkasses.
  • Leah's treatment in the books is also examined, explaining part of why she is treated poorly and how it really is from her perspective. Embry explains to Sam that her temper was what initially created a divide between herself and her pack, resulting in the All of the Other Reindeer treatment she gets in the books. But he also points out that it doesn't change the fact that her pack (himself included), and to an extent her family, having emotionally and verbally abused her for the pettiest of reasons and because she doesn't buy into their Protagonist-Centered Morality. When Sam and Dean learn to the extent of what her family is like and why she avoids them, they are rightfully horrified and infuriated.
• Designated Hero: In-Universe. It is clear that in a Stephanie Meyer novel, the "heroes" would be Jacob and Renesmee, as the story is focused on them officially tying the knot. Unlike the Twilight Saga, however, this is deconstructed as their typical behavior is nothing even close to heroic or impressive. Without a narrator that falls under their Protagonist-Centered Morality, Team Free Will and Leah clearly see that Jacob is a misogynistic, Jerkass pedophile (Renesmee is really 10) while Renesmee is just a Spoiled Brat who is way overdue for a spanking.
• Designated Villain: Again, In-Universe. Leah is clearly meant to be the destructive party crasher who hurts others despite being given a "second chance" with her so-called family and would easily be the main antagonist if Stephanie Meyer were writing this story. Again, this is also deconstructed. Leah wants nothing to do with her family, who have done nothing but treat her like dirt and wants nothing more than to be left alone for good. Of course she would want to get back at them, especially since she was forced to return against her will. With almost every character talking trash about her with little to no provocation, Dean and Sam finally have enough of this and decide to get payback on Leah's behalf. They are successful and it doesn't hurt that Leah is freed from her pack at the end.
• Destructo-Nookie: When Cas has sex with Leah, every lightbulb within a certain radius starts exploding as they climax.
• Dramatically Missing the Point: As the boys point out, the whole point of an outside wedding is to use the nature beauty of the surroundings. Instead Renesmee's wedding plans means the wedding might as well not been outside in the first place.
• The Dreaded: Castiel is this to the vamps and wolves. Even before he reveals his true nature to everyone, they all sense that he's not human and do their best to avoid him through out most of the party. Even when the Winchesters are at their most disruptive during the reception, the Vampires and wolves hesitate to even look at the brothers when Cas makes it clear that anyone who tries to hurt Sam or Dean will be killed by him.
• Earn Your Happy Ending: Again, due to when this was written, it assumes that Season 6 ended happily. So... trope applies to Team Free Will.
  • Thanks to Jacob kicking her out of his pack, Leah ultimately gets this too. It doesn't hurt that she and Cas become an official couple.
• Enemy Mine: Rosalie to Leah. They agree that they hate the wedding more than they hate each other.
• Even Evil Has Standards:
  • During Bella's "The Reason You Suck" Speech to Castiel, Leah sees how many of her pack is very uncomfortable with how Bella states that humans are just part of the food chain. They still don't openly object to this, out of compliance to maintain the peace or because Jacob might have made it impossible for them to even attempt such a thing.
  • According to Emmett, Renesmee wanted to have actual human blood on tap for the red-eyed vampire guests. That's just about the only thing her family objected to.
• Fairytale Wedding Dress: Renesmee wears an impossibly tacky and ludicrously expensive one with so many puffy white layers it looks like an exploded Twinkie and a skirt so massive it could fit an entire VW Bug under it, complete with a few jewelry stores' worth of diamonds on the necklace, veil and tiara.
• Girl on Girl Is Hot: Sam, Dean, Emmett, Embry, and nearly every other young male at the wedding approve greatly when Leah and Rosalie stage a make-out session in the middle of the dance floor.
• Groin Attack: Leah to Quil.
• Hair-Trigger Temper:
  • Leah's pack, according to Embry, still believe that she suffers from this despite Embry stating that her taking yoga "made her Zen". Sam attests to this, though it is clear that she is a Downplayed Example.
  • Jacob, on the other hand, seems to be on the verge of an explosion every moment he isn't fawning over Reneesme on screen. What a great and patient leader he is.
• Hate Sink: Most of the Twilight characters are written this way (especially Jacob, Renesmee, and Bella), which serves to make it especially satisfying when Sam and Dean finally decide to stop playing nice.
• Hidden Depths: Emmett reveals he's a fan of classic cars and rock music and that Rosalie is a grease monkey who modifies her expensive cars herself.
• Hoist by His Own Petard: Jacob accidentally kicks Leah out of his pack, making her immune to his Alpha order. She then kicks his butt.
• Human Notepad: Dean and Claire pass the time during the ridiculously long wedding speeches by drawing a grid on Dean's hand with a pen and playing Tic-Tac-Toe.
• Hypocrite:
  • The majority of the Twilight cast is this regarding Leah's love life. They refuse to let Leah live down the fact that she was rightfully angry that her fiance dumped her for her cousin (even believing that her bringing Sam Winchester to the wedding as a friend was her attempt to get back at him)...and whenever she tries to correct them, they tell her that she should stop living in the past and bringing the event up.
  • They also think Leah is a slut because she's hanging around with three guys... despite the fact that as Sam and Dean noticed, most of them are dressed inappropriately and look more like hookers than beautiful.
  • The vegetarian vampires abstain from eating humans because it is the right thing to do. But Bella declares that humans are part of the food chain and that her family has no problem with the red-eyed covens killing humans on the way to the wedding. See also Moral Myopia below.
• I Have No Daughter!: Charlie Swan disowns Bella after she said she didn't have a problem with vampires killing people to feed.
• Impossibly Tacky Clothes: Pretty much every outfit seen at the wedding is derided as this by the Winchesters, from the Stripperiffic dresses worn by the vampires (some of whom still look underage) to the cringe-worthy Braids, Beads and Buckskins ensembles forced onto the Quileute women to the dress worn by the bride herself (between the massive skirt, the puffy white layers that make it look like an exploded Twinkie, and the ludicrous amount of diamonds attached).
• I Need a Freaking Drink: The Winchesters start taking swigs of whiskey from Dean's flask (and even offer Claire a sip) during the ceremony when the newlyweds and the bride's parents are making the most obnoxious, sappy, pretentious, ego-stroking vows and speeches anyone could possibly make.
• Insane Troll Logic: Somehow, Leah hanging out with a guy with the same first name as her ex-fiance gets interpreted as her trying to get back at him, despite the engagement breaking off several years ago.
• Intergenerational Friendship: Dean strikes up one with Claire.
• Irony: The author's note for Chapter 11 points out why Cas attacked Bella:
  And the reason Cas got mad and whipped out the angelic Pimp Cane? Because Bella (and therefore Meyer) was basically spewing everything she always spews about humanity, what she has been spewing in every single book in the series—and basically quoting SPN-verse Lucifer every time she does it. You know—THE DEVIL. Yeah.
  • The vampires — who spent the entire wedding acting like they were superior to humanity — end up saved from absolute massacre by Claire, one of the only humans at the wedding. Sam and Dean are quick to rub the irony in their faces.
  • A subtle one, but Benjamin can split open the earth, control all four basic elements and could probably stand up to even Cas in a fight. Too bad his contempt for humanity led to him being killed by Dean, a human, without a fight. Don't underestimate a human, folks.
• Laser-Guided Karma:
  • After reducing her cousin, Leah, to tears, in an attempt to "help", Sam brings Emily to tears by recounting the actual account of her being imprinted and then asking if she apologized to her husband for making him claw off half her face.
  • Jacob repeatedly uses his Alpha position to control Leah and forced her to come to the wedding, and ends up freeing her by accident with that same Alpha position, allowing her to slug him in the face and properly fight back.
  • Quil has stalked Claire since she was a toddler and scared off any male friends of hers in the aim to keep her from marrying someone that wasn't him. In the climax, he's the one scared off by Dean, who threatens to kill him if he ever comes near Claire again, much to her glee and vicious joy and Quil's dismay. In the epilogue, he has been reduced to stalking her from a distance, Gone Mad From The Isolation, finally loses it when she turns 18 and is killed by Cas.
  • Renesmee forces Leah to come to her wedding where she is belittled and insulted at every turn. Dean and Sam respond towards the end by thrashing the very wedding she wanted to be perfect and Leah punches her in the face when she is freed from the pack without hesitation.
  • The Cullens have acted superior to everyone else around them and are the talk of the vampire community. After the climax, they are vilified by that same community due to Bella being stupid enough to rile up Cas and reveal himself to be an Angel of Heaven.
    • But, since they didn't eat people, they were spared with only humiliation. The vamps who did murder humans weren't so lucky.
  • Bella has always acted like she was practically perfect in every way and that anyone that wasn't a vampire was pathetic. In short order in the climax; Cas easily curbstomps her and cuts her off mid-sentence, her father disowns her, and she ends up turning the entire vampire community against her and the Cullens.
• Literally Shattered Lives: Happens to Benjamin after Dean stabs him with an angel blade.
• Kick the Dog: Jacob during his beat down of Leah calls her worthless and a whore. Made worse in that, thanks to Leah's connection to the pack, she feels these things about herself. Thankfully, this also leads to Jacob accidentally releasing her.
• Kill It with Fire: After Tia attempts to attack Dean for killing Benjamin, Cas steps in and lights her up.
• Mass "Oh, Crap!": When the vampires realize that the Winchesters and Castiel are perfectly capable of killing them. Exaggerated when they realize that they just pissed off an angel.
• Moment Killer: True to form, Cas can't help but be technical:
  "Dude," Dean said scornfully, "he just full-on smote that bitch, and you’re gonna stand there and tell me he’s not an angel?"
  
  Cas looked at Dean with furrowed brows. "I didn't smite her, Dean," he said earnestly. "I just set her on fire—"
  
  Dean cut him off. "Shut up, Cas—you're ruining the moment."
  • Cas also nearly blew Team Free Will's cover when Renesmee said that the effects in the wedding were like heaven. As an angel, Cas pointed out the opposite. Thankfully, he made up for it in the climax and epilogue.

• Moral Myopia:
  • Leah's pack treats her like dirt partially because of how she handled the breakup with Sam Ulley after he imprinted on Emily...completely ignoring that he attacked Emily when she initially refused him and now has scars on her face. And they have no problem with Quil imprinting on a two year old and waiting till Claire is old enough to marry him, much to the horror of Claire's parents.
  • The Cullens don't eat humans, but have no problems with their red-eyed allies eating some on the way to the wedding. At the climax, Bella loudly proclaims that it's part of the food chain which only serves to piss off Castiel enough for him to use telekinesis on her to shut up and makes her father disown her after the wedding.
• Mundane Object Amazement: Castiel spends most of the wedding ceremony staring at a bee.
• Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: Towards the end, while Jacob is savagely beating Leah, he furiously yells at her that she is no longer part of his pack - which breaks the hold he has over her as the Alpha, and means she no longer has to obey him.
• No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: Jacob to Leah, until he makes her leave his pack and she turns the tables on him.
• No Sympathy: None of the Twilight cast gives Leah any sympathy for how Sam treated her and think she's just being unreasonably bitter. Sam, Dean and Castiel are disgusted by that.
• Nouveau Riche: Emmett Cullen bemoans his family's spending habits, acting like the more something costs the better it is.
• Oh, Crap!:
  • The last chapter ends with Dean and Sam realizing that Leah is having sex in the motel room next door... with Cas.
• One-Steve Limit: Averted and Played for Drama — Sam shares his first name with Leah's ex, which causes nearly everyone at the wedding to assume that she's dating him as some sort of petty revenge scheme.
• Only Sane Man: The Winchesters, Castiel, Leah, Embry, Emmett, Charlie, Claire (and her parents to an extent), and Rosalie are the only ones who don't think everything about the wedding is great and/or believe that Leah is sleeping around.
• Overly-Long Gag: The wedding vows and speeches are so ridiculously long that Dean and Claire are able to finish playing sixteen games of tic-tac-toe by the time they're over.
• Pædo Hunt: One of the many things that riles up the Winchesters is finding out that the bride at the titular wedding is ten (and the only reason she hadn't been married at seven is that she wanted to wait a few years), while her husband (who's at least twice as old as her) apparently fell in love with her the second she was born. Similar disgust is expressed towards Quil (who also imprinted on Claire when she was a baby and is openly lusting after the unwilling twelve-year-old) and the fact that the underage-appearing vampire girls are in the same revealing dresses as the adults.
• Papa Wolf: Dean bonds with Claire Young during the ceremony, and he really doesn't take kindly to Quil's pedophile-like behavior towards her. In fact, when he decides to just kill all the vampires and werewolves, he states that he'll start with Quil.
• Precocious Crush: There are hints that Claire gained one on Dean, which really does not help his relationship with the wolf that imprinted on her.
• Protagonist-Centered Morality: Not only is it averted in this story, but it is also deconstructed. The Twilight cast believe themselves to be wonderful people, but all Team Free Will and Leah, as well as Claire, Embry, Charlie, Rosalie and Emmett see is a bunch of narcissistic people flaunting that they're better than everyone else and are downright despicable. By the climax of the story, Dean is all for killing them all off until Claire suggests an even better punishment.
• Psychic Static: Castiel generates this in a ten mile radius throughout the wedding, keeping Edward Cullen from reading anyone's mind. He's noticeably annoyed when he figures out Cas is the source.
• Rage-Breaking Point:
  • Dean is pissed when vampires keep on insisting they turn him, comparing it to being sexually harassed and threats of gang-rape, he's furious when Leah's mother and Emily reduce her to tears. But when some vampires threaten to turn Sam, that is the last straw and Dean convinces Sam to wreck the party by acting as rude and obnoxious as possible.
  • Castiel spent much of the story standing around and not reacting, but had shown instances of anger when his friends were threatened. He finally reaches his point with the vampires' attitudes towards the Winchester Brothers and their stance on humanity at the story's climax, though it is more subtle than the earlier ones. Bella tells him to his face that humans are weak and vampires are better in every way imaginable and he just take her down easily, tells her that she has said enough and reveals himself to be an Angel from Heaven.
• Sickeningly Sweet: The incredibly sappy, ego-stroking speeches given by the Cullens at the wedding ceremony, which consist of going on and on about how wonderful it is that the wedding is uniting the vampires and werewolves, how much of a blessing Renesmee is that she united both races just by being born, how pure and beautiful Renesmee and Jacob's love is, etc., etc., etc. In the audience, Sam and Dean react appropriately.
• Red String of Fate: Not just averted; we get to see what happens when it's averted. When Claire totally rejects Quil's imprint on her, he goes berserk.
• The Rich Have White Stuff: Everything pertaining to the wedding is white. Sam compares it to a cross between Circus Barbie and a Ku Klux Klan rally.
  Dean's thoughts: Well, maybe gold mine wasn't a proper description. More like the Mount Doom of Sugar. The cake was a giant, elaborate, five-tier, four-foot-tall thing with smaller tiers descending all down the sides, and Dean was so surprised he nearly fainted when it turned out to be entirely white. White icing, white columns, white ribbon, white sugar-flowers, white topper—did all the other colors personally insult these people, that why they refused to invite them?
• Roaring Rampage of Revenge: A downplayed one. After Sam and Dean are accosted by vampires wanting to change them one too many times, and Leah is effectively accused of being a whore by her own mother and cousin, they retaliate by acting incredibly disruptive, insulting the guests and decor, and generally causing trouble.
• Romanticized Abuse: The Winchester brothers are very disturbed to learn where Emily got her scars. Sam even sarcastically asks later if she apologized for making Sam Uley hit her, causing her to burst into tears.
• Screw Destiny: The wolves see imprinting as fate bringing two people together. Leah is looked down on for not accepting that at face value, and when Claire totally rejects Quil's imprint on her, he loses his mind.
• Screw You, Elves!: The cast of Twilight believes themselves to above the laws of humans. Team Free Will and Leah put them in their place in the climax after dealing with their insults and smugness for too long.
• She Cleans Up Nicely: Leah looks beautiful in her red gown at the wedding, despite the opinions of her pack and the vampires.
• Shout-Out: Amongst the fancy food at the wedding buffet is venison and goat cheese tostado, a reference to a segment from the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies".
• Shut Up, Hannibal!: Castiel responds to Bella's "The Reason You Suck" Speech (seen down below) by saying that vampires are not above humans or God's creations. Then he promptly blasts her away.
• Simple, yet Opulent: Emmett's is very much against his families idea of buying the flashiest and most expensive cars they can, and would much rather have classic muscle cars to work on, like Dean's Impala. His family however would rather him buy as they would and was denied for it.
• Speak in Unison: Sam and Dean do this early on when Leah tells them about the vampires and werewolves. It happens again during the climax–with Leah joining in–when Cas reveals that a group of vampires were planning on eating Dean once he left the wedding.
• Spoiled Brat: Ever since she was born, Renesmee has been spoiled dreadfully by everyone, given everything she could ever possibly want, and treated like the savior of the universe because her birth ended the feud between the vampires and werewolves. And it shows, too.
• Squick: In-Universe. After Leah and Cas having sex causes the lights in the motel to explode:
  [Dean and Sam] leapt out of their seats as showers of sparks rained down on them, and they stared at each other for a split second, before Dean suddenly gave a shout of disgust and began batting wildly at his clothes where the sparks had fallen.
  
  "Aw, Jesus, Sam—we just got spooged by an angel!"
• Stylistic Suck: The third chapter taking place from Jacob's POV is written in Meyer's style. Mervin commented that she wasn't sure whether to be proud or horrified about how well she replicated it.
• Supernaturally Delicious and Nutritious: A lot of the vampires then go out of their way to tell Dean that he smells really, really good, including the ones who don't eat humans. Castiel theorizes that this is due to Dean being Michael's True Vessel, the "most unique and powerful vessel on the planet". Dean's not exactly thrilled, and neither is Bella.
• Switching P.O.V.: The story is told first from the perspective of Leah, then Jacob (using Meyer's signature Purple Prose), then Sam Winchester, then Dean, before switching back to Leah, and then back to Dean for the epilogue.
• Take That!: Given that it's a deconstructive crossover with Twilight, a lot. Mainly towards the Cullens' Nouveau Riche attitude and tackiness.
• "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Shortly after Benjamin and Tia are killed, Bella gives a speech on how a vampire eating a human is no different than a human eating meat, and that humans have no right to make vampires follow their laws. Castiel responds by blasting Bella away.
  • Jacob gives Leah a long one while he starts beating her. That is, until he accidentally releases her from his pack, and she slugs him back.
• This Cannot Be!: The initial reaction of the Vampires and werewolves (particularly Edward and Carlisle) when Castiel reveals his true nature as an angel.
• Took a Level in Badass: Leah. Granted, the original material didn't give her many opportunities to show her skills.
  • Charlie takes one in the "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue, where he becomes friends with Bobby and Rufus, and sometimes goes hunting with them on weekends. And not necessarily for animals...
• Took a Level in Jerkass: Aside from Charlie, Embry, Emmett, Rosalie and Claire, pretty much all of the Twilight cast have lost whatever positive traits they had in the past. Subverted in that they are showing their true nature to those who aren't blessed with Protagonist-Centered Morality like Bella Swan is.
• Too Dumb to Live: Bella. After watching two vampires get killed by the Supernatural cast, she still challenges them with the confidence that she'll win. Cas shows her otherwise. It gets worse when she claims her vampire power would be enough to stop them. Her vampire power is specifically blocking mental powers from other vampires and nothing else, meaning Sam, Dean or Cas would still be able to kill her with it active.
  • Bella does this earlier, right before the climax by approaching the Winchesters after Castiel told everyone that he'd kill anyone who hurt them. Leah notes that only she'd be dumb enough to do something like that.
• Tranquil Fury: Castiel has moments of this whenever the Winchesters or Leah are threatened, and especially during Bella's "The Reason You Suck" Speech when she shows spite towards God. He never raises his voice or even changes his expression much, but it's clear to everyone that he's absolutely furious with the vampires.
• Transhuman Treachery: After becoming a vampire, Bella regards humans as weak, stupid, flawed creatures only fit to be vampire food.
• Uncanny Valley: In-Universe: Castiel, from the perspective of the monsters at the party. While he passes as a human to those unaware, every Vampire and Werewolf can sense something off about him, with Jacob in particular noticing he has no heartbeat, doesn't breathe and doesn't even have a smell. As a result, every vampire and wolf avoid him like the plague throughout the wedding.
• Wham Line:

  Jacob: (During his "The Reason You Suck" Speech to Leah) You're no part of my pack - of any pack!

  • An In-Universe example occurs in the same chapter with Castiel to Bella.
    Bella: What - what are you!?
    Castiel: I'm an Angel of the Lord.
• "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue: As an addendum to the last chapter, we learn what became of the characters after this story. Of note:
  • Cas wiped out the Volturi.
  • Charlie disowned Bella after she said she condoned murder at the wedding, chewed out his wife for how she treated Leah and finally got the woman to appreciate her daughter more, and was introduced to and became friends with Bobby and Rufus.
  • The vampire community vilifies the Cullens for literally bringing the wrath of God upon them.
  • Out of the 14 still living red-eyed vampires warned to go vegetarian in the climax, only eight heeded the warning while Sam and Dean killed the remaining six who were dumb enough to stay in the country.
  • Claire left La Push six years later and joined up with Leah, essentially becoming the Sam to her Dean.
  • Quil snapped, went after Claire, but was killed by Cas.
  • Yes, really, we were informed of this: "Castiel's bee buzzed back to its hive, blissfully unaware that it had been the subject of angelic scrutiny."
  • Embry became the de facto leader of both packs for a time since Sam U. and Jacob were too obsessed with their imprinted to fulfill their duties and also joins up with Leah, after the wolves basically became unnecessary due to the reputation Washington had gained causing vampires to stay away.
  • Rosalie and Emmett eventually get sick of listening to their family nurse their wounded egos and try to vilify Leah and the Winchesters (they're far too afraid to ever mention Castiel), so they ditch them and begin travelling across the country. Sometimes they meet up with Leah and the Winchesters, just to hang out.
  • "And Leah and Castiel had all the sex."
• Why Did You Make Me Hit You?: Sam W. lampshades this when he sarcastically asks Emily if she apologized for making her husband hit her. When this is pointed out Emily starts crying.

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