Villain Critique Thread (Because Its About Damn Time!)

I would call your villain creepy, or nightmarish, but those words don't really describe her special kind of fucked up. I think you had a sucess.

Ps: I have a question: can I post an entire organization as if it was a singular villain? It has goals, motivations, weaknesses, and can even be said to have a personality of sorts.

I uh I think I'll just say I agree with the above and leave it at that.

Now for another of the Dark Gods...

• Name: Varancain the Deceiver

• Age: Older than the Universe. Possibly older than the previous universe.

• Personality: Varancain is first and foremost the God of Dragons, giving him domain over fire and destruction...especially pointless destruction. His godly jobs are extremely odd even by series standards - he is god of those who devour livestock and leave burned fields, he is god of spite and destruction for no good reason. He is god of deception without an end goal. He is lord of "bad things happening to good or bad people for absolutely no reason at all". And as we see of his personality, these are all very apt descriptors - Varancain wants nothing more than to scorch the entire Earth with dragon-fire...because its there. He personally hoards treasure despite not needing it, greedily keeping some of the rarest artifacts in the verse in his personal chambers, and roasting anyone except Khaos who goes in to retrieve them. He is, in person, crude and sarcastic, having a deadpan sense of humour that only serves to show just how much joy he gets in pointing out people's flaws and damages. There is however a note in him that he has to be like this out of some cosmic necessity, in opposition to Klimpteth, his opposite number among the Light Gods. Varancain seems bitter about the fact Klimpteth got a very reasonable and good "assignment" as a deity, while Varancain more or less could not expand his experiences beyond "destroy this" or "burn that". Its less that he wants Klimpteth's job, and more that he's irked that nobody considered him capable of being anything but what he is. In essence, he is bitterly resigned to villainy and is determined to wring as much enjoyment out of it as he can.

• Abilities: Varancain is essentially the biggest, nastiest dragon in existence - so powerful and destructive he became a God of Dragons because he ate six Old Gods and assimilated their power into himself. He retains this Cannibalism Superpower even to this day. Its mentioned Varancain's Dragon-Fire burns hotter than a thousand suns, and the black flames resultant either kills you Deader than Dead or turns you into a Burnt Dracolych. It also deserves mention he has "one Dragon's life time" for each sentient life form he's eaten. He's functionally immortal by this point. Do the math.

• Weaknesses: As a Dark God however he needs a shrine or temple to operate in the Mortal Realm, and is mostly confined to the Realm of the Gods. Even then, nobody trusts him outside his cultists.

• Goals: Burn everything that can be burned, kill everything that can be killed...more or less just because its there. Also, dick with Khaos again.

• Motivation: He claims he is motiveless. To an extent its true. But its because he's God of Motiveless Acts. He HAS to be motiveless in everything he does.

• Role in the story: Greater-Scope Villain of Book IV and anything involving the Gods.

• Backstory: Nobody really knows where Varancain came from - some say he flew in from outside the universe, others say he was already basically a Dragonic Deity when the Old Gods showed their faces. No matter - he absolutely detested the creation of the world of Xanadu and when the Sixteen Gods rebelled, he joined them. It says something about how powerful Khaos and Jenon were and are that Varancain admired their power, a rare admission for a Dragon. In the course of it, Varancain gorged himself on six Old Gods, making himself the new God of Dragons. In the universe proper, however, he was utterly livid that Klimpteth, his old rival, got an open, ambiguous position in the Pantheon, while Varancain was basically pigeonholed into "destroys lots of things". So he decided since Klimpteth was one of the foremost advocates for order and peaceful reign, he'd tear everything apart. So when Varancain heard that Vicelogia managed to get Zeufonis to kidnap Lishana, Varancain joined him in pressuring Khaos to declare war. When not much could convince the Dark Lord to go that far, Varancain lied and said that Zeufonis and Jenon, twin brothers, raped Lishana. This got Khaos to declare war. And Varancain was, upon discovery, punished by being forever known as Varancain the Deceiver.

• Relevant Tropes:
• Always a Bigger Fish: Essentially the role he plays in Tri Age. Even some pretty scary Eldritch Abominations have reason to fear Varancain. For one, they're on the meal menu.
• Artifact of Doom: A number of his hoarded artefacts tend to have some negative effects. The Dragon's Eye Ruby for example causes people to become addicted to destruction even as it gives them precognitive abilities and the ability to master capabilities incredibly quickly.
• Ax-Crazy: Possibly. He's up there with Shiryu for craziest Dark God, but there's a strange method to his madness. He's always decidedly motiveless in that he selects his actions so as to have no motive for doing what he's doing.
• Blatant Lies: Basically for fun - Varancain was forced to become "Varancain the Deceiver" after that big lie he told about Lishana. So he makes all his lies extremely, stupidly blatant...if one knows the proper things.
• Card-Carrying Villain: That title, Varancain the Deceiver, is what everyone calls him. Not a pleasant guy. Interestingly, its not a role he chose for himself...
• Chaotic Evil
• The Chessmaster: Surprisingly, given his motiveless deceptions and acts. He's very, very good at stringing together pointless acts of evil to create a desired effect.
• Consummate Liar: Despite the above, he manages this in his own way - falling for one of Varancain's more blatant lies can be incredibly damaging, and finding them out for what they are can set you up for one of his much, much more subtle lies.
• Deader than Dead: Varancain's Breath Weapon does this if it doesn't turn you into an Undead Dragon. Essentially, it is so impossibly hot it burns someone from all phases, points, positions, places and times in all possible realities.
• Despair Event Horizon: Implied that he hit this - he realized with his immortality he was gonna be God of Pointless Evil forever. It made him tremendously angry and indignant, and he decided, fuck it, he'd give them the pointless evil they wanted.
• Eldritch Abomination: All his possible origins make him appear to be positively Lovecraftian, though he averts the idea you cannot comprehend his form...
• Even Evil Has Standards: interestingly, Varancain is disgusted by religious dogma, and doing things purely because it fits with one's definition of holy or purpose. He says it this way; "You would be amazed what a human can do when he thinks himself holy." Varancain would know, from Old World Matthew.
• Evil Is Petty: By his very nature he is a petty creature, reacting to even the slightest insult with a burst of his infamous fire.
• A Fate Worse Than Death: Being turned into a Burnt Dracolych - you're constantly on fire, you can never attain sustenance, you regenerate from most injuries, you're always in pain, and the only thing that makes you feel any better is wanton chaos and destruction.
• For the Evulz: Basically the deity of it...
  • Villain Ball: Oddly, he's also the God of this. Essentially, if a Servant of Varancain can be wantonly violent with no reason, he'll take it. Varancain himself had utterly no reason to dick with Khaos like that, but he did it anyway.
• The Gadfly: At his most benign. He toys with and does weird prank-like tricks purely to amuse himself.
• God of Evil: Of a sort - he represents pointless malice, warrantless destruction and deception without an end goal. This...wasn't exactly what he signed on for. He's long decided if the other gods want him for this role, he's not going to disappoint them.
• Insult Backfire: Jenon confronts Varancain after the war has begun and calls him out on his deception and evil, calling him "depraved". "Exactly. I am God of the Depraved. Is that not what I was assigned?"
• Internalized Categorism: Stated outright to be the cause for his activities - he was selected for his role, and as such he cannot really be anything but what he is. Though its implied he was none too nice before becoming an out and out deity.
• Large and in Charge: Varancain towers over his dragons, and even mighty Azul Doulcang is barely a pup beside his master.
• The Man Behind the Man: Behind Dhakar, behind Azul Doulcang, and yes, behind Caine...well, one of several for that last one. He certainly contributed the most actual resources to Caine's war.
• Manipulative Bastard: See his original deception - making Khaos split the Pantheon in half and thus causing a Forever War.
  • He also plays the human who was originally Azul Doulcang into ever greater hatred, and eventually signing away his human form once he got too deep. By now, Azul Doulcang "dulls the pain of the loss of his human form by ravaging everything in his way".
• Nigh-Invulnerable: On top of his Complete Immortality - at least Shiryu has an implicit curse escape clause for his unkillability. With Varancain, he knows with how he is, he'll be around basically forever.
• Omnicidal Maniac: Burn the world is his goal, first and foremost.
• One-Winged Angel: Grants his human cultists this if they're cornered. Its always Scaled Up too, into some variety of dragon.
• Our Dragons Are Different: his dragons are very, very...odd. Some of them are smaller and basically imps with circular, buzz saw mouths, others are traditionally large firebreathing monsters, and others still breath decay and death. A good way to judge what sort of dragon you're fighting is to look at its scales. Black scales? Do not let that breath touch you. Blue scales? Don't let it scratch you with its claws...
• Rage Against the Heavens: His entire line of schemes is basically him trying to get back at the Gods who shunted him into a duty which fast becomes stale. He tires of being nothing but the God of Petty Evil, and wants to be freed of this seemingly unbreakable obligation.
• Slasher Smile: He's called "The Grinning Firedrake" for a reason.
• Then Let Me Be Evil: Okay, Jenon wanted a God of Pointless Malignity to provide celestial balance to Klimpteth's God of Providence? Oh, boy did he get what he wanted out of that one, and more. How's that War of the Gods, Jenon?
  • This seems to be a common theme among his dragons. From Azul Doulcang down.
• Trapped in Villainy: He's basically the god of pointless evil. Its all he can ever be, and he cannot be anything else.
• The Undead: Burnt Dracolyches. Essentially eternally burning dragon skeletons that go around killing others to allay their own eternal anguish.
• The Unfettered: His approach to wanting something is one simple memetic statement; "Fuck you I'm a dragon." Being what he is, he decided he simply cannot care about morality or ethical concerns.

edited 9th Jul '16 10:33:11 PM by NickTheSwing

Hmm, I'd say having a dragon god is interesting. I'm a bit worried about him being too powerful, how are the heroes supposed beat someone who was able to devour gods before becoming one himself? Other than that concern, this is pretty good. I'd be able to give a better critique if I knew about your story.

Anyways, here's mine. The setting is in the 2020s, after a mysterious blue light flashed all over the world and gave random people from all over the planet powers. They're called "genotypes".

Name: Edgars Griva / The Negative One

Age: 42

Personality: Griva is a man who has seen the ways of the world through the eyes of a soldier. His views of the world are highly cynical, which allows him to justify his actions. To him, as long as he succeeds, it doesn't matter what he has to do and who he aligns with. The world betrayed him, and now it's his turn to do the same.

Abilities: Griva has the power over gravity. He can shoot blasts of gravity, force people in front of him to the ground, pull people, project himself in the air, and remove gravity when he desires. His codename, "The Negative One", is a reference to anti-gravity and his control over it. Outside of that, he has the combat ability of a skilled soldier who can hold his own even without his power. The powers make it much easier, obviously.

Weaknesses: It takes a large amount of energy and concentration to use his gravitational powers, and he can only use it either in the direction he's facing or within a close proximity of himself. Therefore, those outside of his effective range have a good shot at him if they can't get hit. Other than that, he's rather arrogant and that can get the best of him.

Goals: As a genotype, he believes he was selected to prove himself better than everyone and succeed in a high position in the world. Thus, he aligns himself with The Collective with the goal to reign over the world.

Motivation: To avenge his lost lover Audra, who was murdered and the assailant was never made to pay for his crimes. He knows he out there, and one day that man will pay the ultimate price.

Role in the story: Griva serves as one of the ever-growing members of The Collective, an ever-growing organization of genotypes from around the world who work for the goal of world domination. He's often sent out to do their dirty work somewhere.

Backstory: Edgars Griva was born in Riga, Latvia to a poor working class family. He always wanted to make himself a big name somehow, but everyone told him that he dreamed too big. When he was old enough, he joined the Latvian military, who fought in the war in Iraq. He saw his comrades die in front of him in the heat of combat, which turned him into the man he his today. Through his tenacity, he became one of the most skilled soldiers in Latvia. After he left the military, he became a soldier of fortune, making a good living fighting for the interests of various snakes of the world. However, he changed his ways after meeting Audra Calis, a nurse. With the money he had, he was able to retire from his line of work and start a family. That never came to be, when Audra was murdered one day by a criminal named Daniels Riters, a murderer who targeted women but was always able to evade capture. He murdered her while she was away from him, and then disappeared. That was the turning point that changed him. Afterwards, he vowed to find the man by any means necessary. He tracked down everyone who could've potentially had the information needed, but nothing sold ever came up. It seemed like Riters would never be caught. One day a blue light flashed all over the world before it disappeared. The significance wasn't known until he discovered his powers over gravity, and was subsequently rejected by the world due to his abilities. There, he decided he had enough of the world, and wanted to exact his revenge. With his powers, he caused chaos and stole what he wanted. Then he was met by a man going by the name of Noir, a genotype like him. Noir offered him a place as part of The Collective, an organization operating on the goal of world domination. He accepted, naturally, on the condition that he would one day find Daniels Riters with their help. Now he serves The Collective's best interests, knowing that he'll avenge Audra one day.

Relevant Tropes:

• Despair Event Horizon: First the death of his comrades, then the murder Audra. These have made his views of the world wholly negative.
• Even Evil Has Standards: He wouldn't harm a child. When one is in his ways, he doesn't attack. He can't bring himself to kill one, due to them reminding him of his younger self.
• Genius Bruiser: He's a highly intelligent fighter, though he tends not to emphasize strategy unless needed.
• Gravity Master: His overall control over gravity makes him a deadly force.
• The Lost Lenore: Audra, her murder was the catalyst for his fall into darkness.
• Not Quite Flight: Two variations. He can send himself in the air via a gravity blast, or he can float by lowering the gravity around him.
• The Pawn: He's not unaware of his low-ranking status in The Collective. However, he believe he's using them as much as they are using him.
• Red Baron: He didn't call himself "The Negative One" after he gained his powers — that's what the media called him when he emerged.
• Roaring Rampage of Revenge: Destroying anything that gets in his way, just to make sure that Daniels Riters is one day and found and killed.
• Shell-Shocked Veteran: His experiences with war haunt him, though he does a good job at hiding it to others.
• Then Let Me Be Evil: After he discovered his powers, he was made an outcast and hunted for his abnormality. Instead of living life on the run, he decided to embrace what the others thought of him and instead of living life on the run, he would fights and use his powers to inflict pain on the weak.

I like it. He actually reminds me a bit of my protagonist. The main thing I'm concerned about is that his fall is portrayed as having been too quick. There are a few potential solutions to this - 1) He was never the most selfless person to begin with, 2) He began displaying Negative One personality traits prior to the gain of his power, 3) He spent a long time hunted and isolated or was betrayed by an old friend. Other than that, he's a villain I'd have no problem with as a reader. His attitude towards humanity kind of reminds me of philosophers like Thomas Hobbes and John Calvin, so maybe doing a bit of reading on them if you already haven't is a good idea.

And Now For Something Completely Different

Is it all right to submit characters that are absolutely on the dark side of the moral spectrum but not primarily antagonists in story? I guess I'll do it.

Name: Orcus Yes, that Orcus. Or at least a parody of him.

Age: Time Abyss - though nowhere close to the oldest being in the universe, but old enough that most gods can't remember his birth, and recorded history barely shows a time before him.

Personality: Think The Joker as an undead demon. Orcus is an absolute psychopath. He's a hedonistic bastard with no sense of empathy, shame or appreciation for life. Orcus lives to indulge in his own twisted and depraved vices, murder, torture and necrophilia being high on that list. Orcus is a glutton, in terms of both food and lifestyle; he wastes things that could be of value to other people, consuming and destroying them while forcing the people who could use them to watch. Sadism is perhaps Orcus' strongest personality trait. Viewing anything that cares about anything else as inferior, Orcus has developed a Straw Nihilist Social Darwinist viewpoint on life, causing him to surround himself with undead.

Abilities: Orcus is a Demon Lord and theoretically a higher-order Physical God, making him incredibly powerful. He takes the physical form of a fifteen foot tall fat goat demon, but despite his obesity, he is massively strong. Orcus holds in his hand a skull-topped rod that allows him to both create and control undead; even the kind of undead that have free will are subject to his command. Orcus has also mastered all forms of necromancy, able to spread plauges, create rivers of blood and kill with a touch. Demons naturally pay heed to Orcus out of their code of Might Makes Right.

Weaknesses: Orcus is egotistical and impulsive. He is fairly lacking as far as planning abilities go, and, though he can manipulate some, is quite easily goaded into doing stupid things. Most highly intelligent people are fully capable of outwitting him.

Goals: Orcus wants to indulge in vice and sin. He wants to murder and destroy, leaving just enough of humanity to rebuild so that he can destroy it again. If he were to have a grander goal, it would probably be to crush the hope, optimism and empathy from all that lives so that he can watch it cry.

Motivation: For the Evulz and Evil Feels Good. His goals are his motivations; that is to say, sadism is his only motivating factor for the vast majority of his actions. Occasionally, his motivation swaps to Eviler than Thou for a period.

Role in the story: Villain of Another Story - Orcus is not a primary antagonist. If anything, he's sort of a benefactor.

Backstory: Orcus was born a long time ago. There is some evidence to suggest that he might've once been a mortal pirate or terrorist, though it is admittedly little. Surviving records are few, far between and contradictory, that is until Orcus' ascension to the role of Demon Lord, in which a single story details eerily clearly a Fallen Angel doing battle with a goat-like monster with an army of the dead. The goat-like monster, commonly thought to be Orcus, allegedly tore his opponent to shreds and devoured the corpse. Since then, Orcus has waged countless wars, devised countless schemes and committed countless acts of pure evil, unrepentant and uncaring all the way.

Relevant Tropes:

A God Am I Orcus proclaims himself the rightful God of Death.

Animate Dead One of his favourite powers by far, Orcus can animate the dead instantly with a wave of his rod. He also knows the spell, of course and can cast it by hand if need be.

Ax-Crazy Incredibly so. Orcus slaughters millions, committing torture and murder offhandedly.

Badass A contractual requirement for someone like him.

Badass Boast Extremely fond of these.

Bad Boss Kills his own men frequently. Of course, given that they're a combination of ultra-violent sadistic demons and undead slaves, they don't mind. In fact, demons view any leader who isn't this as weak.

Big Red Devil Sort of. Big, yes. Red, yes. Demon, yes. However, he's noticeably fatter than most examples, erring more towards medieval depictions. Or even more so than them.

Berserk Button Don't insult his ego, don't talk about the gods of light or death, don't change the subject to trivial things like yourself. But most of all, don't try to Eviler than Thou him.

Black Comedy He seems to think so, anyway. His acts are a combination of Dude, Not Funny! and Crosses the Line Twice.

Blood Knight Slaughter, destruction, mayhem, pointless carnage. It's what he lives for, really.

Book Dumb Not too well educated, but not entirely stupid.

Brilliant, but Lazy Has shades of this, seeing as when he does dedicate himself to a long-term goal, he becomes much more dangerous and harder to control.

Catchphrase UNDEAD DEMONS! Also, Rip and Tear!

Chaotic Evil Type 3, with heavy shades of Type 4. Becomes a full-on type 4 later on.

Card-Carrying Villain Absolutely. I have a few, but most of them, like the Big Bad, simply accept that they are evil by the standards of any empathetic human being or organized society. Orcus not only admits that nothing he is doing would ever benefit anyone, but actively prefers it that way.

Dangerously Genre-Savvy An odd mix of this and Genre Blind. He's cunning in his own brutish way, and can tell obvious villain traps and pitfalls, but doesn't care about avoiding them because he simply wants bloodshed. It doesn't matter whose.

Demon Lords and Archdevils

Our Demons Are Different Violent, sociopathic hedonists who live for a thrill and despise weakness.

The Dreaded Very, very much. So much that the gods themselves react in shock and fear when he arrives at their council.

Determinator Most of the time, no. But push a Berserk Button or find a way to make him hold a long-term grudge, and he will hunt you until the ends of the earth.

Even Evil Has Standards Defied. Orcus thinks standards are for weaklings. Thus, his only real standard is that people who have standards deserve to be killed painfully. Also, as a Shout-Out to the Order Of The Stick, he proclaims himself not a biophiliac. Ultimately defied there too, as he says it's not a fetish if it's business.

Eviler than Thou His primary motivation for helping the heroes is proving himself a greater destroyer than the cosmic essence of destruction.

Evil Is Hammy Orcus is incredibly hammy and theatrical, much to the shock and mild disgust of the story's Big Bad.

Evil Feels Good He certainly thinks so.

Evil Is Petty He's not just a mass-murderer. He also enjoys the little evils in life, like stealing something he doesn't need just because the person he stole it from did.

Evil Laugh Kind of Bowser-like.

Evil Overlord A parody of this.

Evil Sounds Deep Parodied. Though many other characters have deep voices, Orcus stands out as having a deeper voice than James Earl Jones.

Evil Sounds Raspy Parodied again. His voice is not just ridiculously deep, it's also very raspy, as if he just sandpapered his throat... twice.

Evil Versus Oblivion For once, the visionary is on the side of oblivion and the sadistic mass-murderer is on the side of evil. That's new.

For the Evulz Another large part of his motivation.

Glowing Eyes of Doom Like all undead, red in color.

Gluttony Both in terms of food and sheer wastefulness for the sake of wastefulness.

Guttural Growler Of course.

Hero Killer Parodied. His torture rooms are full of heroes, the dungeons are full of heroes, the skeletons of dead heroes are used to pave his roads, etc. He does actually kill a major character or two, though.

Jerkass Oh, so much.

Kick the Dog At the rate he does it, every dog will end up dying of broken bones from being kicked, dying of blood loss from being shot or dying of strangulation from having its chain yanked.

Lightning Bruiser Faster than anything of his weight and gout has any right to be, and ridiculously strong.

Loves the Sound of Screaming Again, parodied. He has a banshee choir.

Neck Lift and Your Head Asplode Lifts a man by his chin and then crushes the head in his hand.

The Necrocracy What his cult boils down to.

The Necromancer His main set of magical powers.

Non-Human Undead UNDEAD DEMONS!

Not So Different Does one to the hero. It's kind of a running gag that all the villains do one. Orcus' only real ground to stand on is that they're both undead who kill people.

Obfuscating Stupidity Maybe.

One-Man Army Pretty much. Standard fare for beings of his power level.

Orcus on His Throne Obviously. Somewhat justified in that heroes come to him so often he rarely bothers leaving the house to fight.

Physical God The other gods debate about whether or not he is one, because he technically qualifies, but he's also a demon.

Rock Me, Asmodeus! A huge fan of Heavy Mithril. Not mean-spirited, considering I like Heavy Mithril too.

Rousseau Was Right Defied. Rousseau was very, very wrong about this guy.

Sadist Incredibly sadistic.

The Sociopath Orcus is absolutely a sociopath.

Slouch of Villainy His normal position.

Super-Strength Obscenely Strong.

The Undead UNDEAD DEMONS!

Voice of the Legion Surprisingly not. Just ultra-deep and raspy.

Your Soul Is Mine!

edited 13th Jul '16 11:35:12 AM by Oudynfury

I'd say so. Varancain, my own most recently submitted character, is not really confronted by the heroes, but is more or less someone who just causes a lot of problems either through his past actions or his current schemes. The closest the readers will get is a confrontation with Azul Doulcang.

Disregard this.

edited 19th Jul '16 2:41:56 AM by UltimateLazer

I dunno, it seems a bit generic to me, though take that with a grain of salt because I'm pretty familiar with D&D. Also, watch out for copyright issues.

Here's my dynamic duo!

Name: Reverend Darryl Chase and his wife, Elizabeth Chase (Born Elizabeth Fish)

Age: Darryl is (or at least claims to be) the offal of Richard Chase, putting him at an age of thirty-six, though he like he's in his twenties. Elizabeth claims to be the offal of Albert Fish, and given how strong and large she is (giants increase in size and power as they age), she may well be around eighty years old. She looks like she's more in her late twenties physically.

Personality: Fire and Ice. Darryl outwardly presents a brimstone preacher, yelling about the end-times and charismatically controlling his flock. However, under this veil he is cool, calm and collected, often toying with his victims, torturing them. Then he typically exsanguinates his victims, and uses a meatlocker to make the whole meal last longer. Elizabeth is externally demure and calm, usually found quietly praying or following around her husband. However, when it comes to the hunt, she is dominant beyond belief. She kills with fury and gore, a whirlwind of talons and knives. Once she even crucified a man before setting the cross on fire, then eating him alive as he burned.

Abilities: As giants, both of them are unnaturally strong. Darryl has strong abilities over ice and cold, as per the myth of a frost giant. Elizabeth has control over fire, and cannot be burned by normal fire. They both have massive power over their little cult and fear over the surrounding town. See also Our Giants Are Bigger.

Weaknesses: Both of them need to feed on human flesh. As time goes on without it, their glamour fails. It's hard to be charismatic when your whole flock feels like they are in the presence of four eyes looking for a meal, and that meal may be one of them. Also, just as a side note, welding torches are decidedly not normal fire. See also Our Giants Are Bigger.

Goals: Grow the flock. Spread the word of God. Give to the local soup kitchen. Fatten up those who won't be missed. Make more giants.

Motivation: Survival and propogation of offspring.

Role in the Story: They hint at the possibility that they have or had a feud with a rival cult, one that even they found despicable. They also introduce and create a recurring Anti-Villain / Anti-Hero, Alice Longfellow.

Relevant Tropes:

I'm a Humanitarian: Their MO.

Our Giants Are Bigger: These giants are immortal barring specific circumstances. When a giant dies, it goes through a process known as Send-Off. The corpse rots rapidly into a new, smaller corpse with different features, clothes and sometimes even a different gender. After some time, said corpse will awaken as a giant with no memory of it's previous life. Cremated corpses will reform and break from their containment. Typically, the new giant will take on a new name, though some will keep a last name as a perverse pride in their "lineage". The only way to prevent this is to repeatedly kill the giant using the same thing that killed their predecessor. Given that giants can live for a long time, this can be difficult.

Sinister Minister: And the sinister minister's wife!

Battle Couple

Loophole Abuse: Welding torches are not normal fire. Neither are potassium fires.

Catch-22: Elizabeth's predecessor was not Albert Fish. Her predecessor died in a fire. She's immune to death by burning. Not much left to do is there, unless you can make a chemical fire.

Apocalypse Cult

No Kill Like Over Kill: Elizabeth is a fan.

Sadist: Both of them.

Fire and Ice

Sounds cool. I think it might have been kind of stale, but the fact that they are giants along with everything associated with that, shakes it up a bit. Character below

Name: Darkness (Daosin) Age: Irrelevant given that he is the embodiment of chaos (before existence) Personality: chaotic, not dependable Abilities: he is made of physical darkness. Imagine venom without the need for a host and much bigger Weaknesses: true name, arrogance, uncaring nature Goals: chaos Motivation: chaos Role in the story: antagonist Backstory: too old to comprehend Relevant Tropes: I hate this part. Maybe later.

Tidy it up a bit before posting. An embodiment of chaos isn't the most unique of villains, and the lack of motivation beyond spreading and causing chaos makes him one-dimensional. Of course, one-dimensional villains aren't necessarily bad, but only works in a story where the morality are black and white.

Name: Vilous

Age: Over 400000 years.

Appearance: Has skin as rough and dark as granite, with black eyes with glowing smoke coming out of them. Under his bulky crimson armor are multiple cracks that leak out energy.

Personality: He is defined by ambition, pride, ruthlessness and the fear of death. While he treats his subject with relative kindness compared to other evil overlords, he makes it clear that he will not tolerate disloyalty. He is pragmatic by nature, refusing to torture outside of obtaining information or as a show of power, nor indulge himself in things he views as pointless. He is a tyrant, but he also rules benevolently so there would be no risk of rebellion, combining fear and love in his rule. Heck, many conquered planets consider him a good ruler all things considered, some enslaved by previous tyrants. He is willing to take in advice from his advisers, rewards subordinates based on merit, not kill the messenger and even treat his hundreds of spouses and children like a responsible, albeit strict father. Why is he evil? Mainly because he won't stop conquering, and he generally gives any planet two choices, surrender or destruction. He will not hesitate to kill his family if they get in the way, and has committed genocides on rebellious planets and enslave all survivors. Despite his power, he stills fear death, searching for ways to end his mortality, or if that fails, take the universe down with him.

Abilities: His power is only surpassed by cosmic beings like death, time, space and etc. He is so powerful that he has to contain them in his armor prevent himself from causing too much destruction. He killed his entire race and gained their powers. He is impervious to mental abilities as well having some of his own, have telekinesis strong enough to move planets, create barriers strong enough to withstand supernovas, create rips in space-time and is physically strong enough to destroy our moon with a single punch. Brief release of energy from his armor in the form of lasers can destroy planets. Take of his armor and his uncontrollable power can take out star systems by simply existing. His BFS can help channel his power to cut through stars. One of the ways the heroes defeated him is by trapping him in a supermassive black hole which he eventually escapes from by destroying it after charging an attack for a year.

Weaknesses: Without his armor, he leaks power quickly and would become powerless after 5 minutes. Plus, his great power is too much for even his armor to handle, with some cracks that if attacked, would instantly destroy him. Since he construct barriers consciously, a simple sniper rifle can destroy him. In battle, more cracks will form by simply exerting his strength. Despite this, he still try to gain more power, which will only make his armor even more fragile.

Goals: Immortality and universal dominance.

Motivation: His father was also a conqueror who tried to mold him to be a evil conqueror, which worked too well.

Backstory: Born on the planet Sirpus, he was the son of the ruler of the planet, Yogsah. Yogsah was a tyrant who conquered multiple planets and enslaved races outside of his own. He absorbed the life energy of those he enslaved so that he grew more powerful, abused his family and pretty much killed anyone who showed any sign of disobedience. Vilous survived only because he showed potential by nearly killing Yogsah by accident when he tried to kill the infant Vilous for his crying. He was molded to be a conqueror and Yogsah's successor. Vilous saw his father's actions, and decided to kill him, not because of any form of kindness or sympathy towards the people, but because his father was practically begging to be overthrown by those he enslaved. He caused rifts in the relationship between his father and the Sirpusian nobles, who decided to assassinate him. He destroyed the assassin when he nearly succeeded, earning his father's trust. Civil war broke out, and Vilous was trusted to protect the palace as his father was recovering from injuries from the assassination attempt. He ordered his trusted engineers to modify the machine his father used to absorb life energy and turned it against his people. Afterwards, he acted as a liberator for the conquered planets, showing himself as their savior from the tyrant, hunting down all Sirpusians. By implementing new laws and policies, releasing them from slavery and torture as well as destroying all those who abused the lower folk, he earned their trust. He was far more ambitious than his father, aiming for the universe. When he nearly died from a battle, he realized his mortality and aimed to remove it or bring the universe down with him, not wanting anyone to take his place as the rightful ruler.

Related tropes:

Abusive Parents: His mother was executed, while Yogsah was the guy who decided to kill him as an infant, only not because he can fight back.

Authority Equals Asskicking: He is the ruler of forty percent of the present universe, as well as being one of the strongest mortals in existence.

Badass Boast: Several. "I conquer to show the people of the universe their rightful place, under my heel." "The fate of all beings is to be subjects of my rule." "You dream of defeating me. You dream of liberation. You dream of freedom. You united people under your banner, all for the sole purpose of your dream. But alas, all dreams must end when the dreamer awakens. Open your eyes to reality as well as to your imminent destruction." "The universe is my kingdom. I was born to rule it, and I shall be its only master." "I do not discriminate, for all beings are equally bellow me."

Always a Bigger Fish: The cosmic entities.

Bad Boss: He knows the downsides of this, so he reins in his contempt for his subjects.

Crapsack world: Any planet that tries to rebel are reduced to this.

Depower: His armor prevents this.

Dimension Lord:Aim to be one.

The Dreaded: {{Oh Crap!}} is the only reaction to anytime he decides to involve himself.

Evil Overlord: Self-explanatory.

Evil Sounds Deep: Befitting of someone like him.

Eye Beams: Technically he can shoot lasers from any part of his body, but he uses the eyes most often.

Fate Worse than Death: Scare tactics.

Galactic Conqueror: He conquered nearly half of it already.

Genius Bruiser: When one can easily self-destruct, one would choose to be more careful.

A God Am I: Inevitable.

Greater-Scope Villain: His role.

He could have some variation of Dark Messiah and Villain with Good Publicity, since he basically led a slave rebellion and styles himself as a liberator of worlds (even after torching those that didn't want to be liberated his way.)

Here's a villain:

Name: Arkraalos the Demon King

Age: Unknown; He's believed to be about three thousand years old, but that is mostly speculation.

Personality: Arkraalos is a simmering mountain of rage, looking for anything that might set him off. He is personable when his orders are carried out, but woe to the minion or ally that finds themselves within arms reach of the Demon King when he is disobeyed. As for those who continue to defy him... You Do Not Want To Know.

Abilities: Great strength (he is a twelve foot tall centaur-like being, after all), various dark magics, some modicum of leadership (because running a massive horde of beastmen and monsters isn't solely based on fear).

Weaknesses: His temper often blinds him to sound tactical judgment (such as using human wave tactics against a well fortified gunline), and he often places too much faith in his strength and size to win battles. Also, his magic is powerful, but it drains his soul and energy every time he uses it; prolonged use will leave him too weak to even lift his weapons until he has had a few days' rest (he has something of a workaround by devouring the souls of those he kills, but that is like putting a band-aid over a severed finger)

Goals: Arkraalos' immediate goal is to burn the nation of Giedor to the ground, and destroy the magic hammer that killed him the first time he tried.

Motivation: At first, it seems like Arkraalos is just out to sack nations because he's evil, or out for revenge. He's actually the herald for the Darkseekers, a race of extra dimensional Eldritch Abominations that are trying to devour the local God of Good (not that any of the humans know about this; they've Outgrown Such Silly Superstitions).

Role in the story: He's the Big Bad of the first story, and the Final Boss should it continue past Part 1.

Backstory: Three thousand years ago, the Madelle dabbled in dark magic as a means to finally exterminate their lifelong enemies, the Dral'Leth. They got more than they bargained for when they unleashed the Darkseekers, who proceeded to enslave the Madelle to their will before unleashing their own armies upon the world. Leading the horde was Arkraalos, the Demon King, an unstoppable juggernaut that devoured the souls of his victims and could slaughter whole armies by himself. It took the combined might of the Dral'Leth, another elder race called the Raptorians, and the first humans to defeat Arkraalos and drive the Darkseekers back into hiding.

Arkraalos, though, would rise again; time after time he would return to raid the world of mortals, his beast hordes ravaging states and nations before some great hero or army put him back in his grave. The last time this happened was four hundred years ago, when Allestir the Great of Giedor challenged and defeated Arkraalos, the king caving in the Demon King's head with the magic hammer Giedal-Leth. That story has faded into legend, however, and Arkraalos is considered nothing more than a childhood boogeyman, some odd barbarian warlord that tried to conquer the nation and got defeated.

Arkraalos is returning, however, and he is not happy that he has been forgotten.

Relevant Tropes:

• Ax-Crazy: There are very few things that won't set him off into a violent rampage. He is able to keep it under control when the time calls for it... most of the time.
• Bad Boss: Kills unlucky minions to fuel his magic, or because they pissed him off, or because he happened to feel like killing a minion that day.
• Big Bad
• The Dragon: To the Darkseekers, though as they are on a different plane of reality most of the time he acts as The Heavy.
• Carry a Big Stick: If he's not feeling like using magic, he has a giant mace to slaughter weaklings with.
• Large and in Charge: Stands as tall as three men, and is the most powerful of his horde.
• Shrouded in Myth: Most people just think he was a large, human barbarian. He does not like the comparison.
• Our Centaurs Are Different: Resembles a cross between a centaur and a minotaur.
• Revenge Before Reason: He is obsessed with those that have killed him before, and seeing anything resembling them will drive him into a blind rage (even more so than usual). This causes him to lose all semblance of strategy or tactics, and has led to several of his defeats before.
• Tin Tyrant: Wears heavy, black plate armor into battle.
• Your Soul Is Mine!: He eats them to fuel his magic.

edited 8th Aug '16 12:55:48 PM by iowaforever

edited 9th Aug '16 4:14:38 PM by ewolf2015

My villain:Malek, the Herald of Destiny

He poses as the high priest of the "God of Devouring," Maledon, who is supposed to be a black dragon who is the cause of hunger in all people in the universe. He manipulates the Dracan Empire, a spacefaring race of dragonmen, posing as one of them, into worshipping Maledon and working towards the unsealing of Malek's full power, most of which was sealed in a dimension of pure darkness. Malek actually manipulates the heroes into believing that Maledon is about to devour the universe several times, causing them to turn back time until the precise conditions are met to release his true power, which he recovers while treating the heroes to a battle with an illusion of Maledon. Then, after it is defeated, he shows up, says there was no such thing as Maledon, and transforms into his true self as an Eldritch abomination. He drains the life out of the heroes and gloats, before a large group of other heroes are able to send both him and the heroes into a dimension of pure good, where the heroes are strong enough to defeat him. Even while he was sealed away, he was draining life from the multiverse, and is the very cause of entropy itself. He constantly gloats that it is impossible for him to be stopped, because he is the one true destiny of all creation. He is actually The Dragon to a much, much larger scale villain who I only have rudimentary plans for.

What's his weakness?

Agreed. What's his defeat condition (I am assuming that you don't want a Downer Ending)? I do like the idea though. The whole posing as a false god who answers to an even higher authority reminds me a bit of Gnosticism. When in doubt, always focus on Gnosticism and/or the nature of God. The kids these days seem to like it.

Name: The Designers (Autonym: Tthnal)

Age: All of the original Designers are dead from unknown causes. However, ships containing their A.I.s and artifacts date back to 200,000 years ago, and evolved variants of Designers can be found in small, secretive pockets throughout the galaxy.

Personality: Cold and intellectually-minded to the extreme, the original Designers engineered many species for the eventual purpose of slave labor. Their descendants are signifigantly more sympathetic, albeit incredibly alien.

Abilities: The technology they have is off the charts. They engineered a species with psychic powers (actually very advanced and subtle nanobots) because they wanted to know if they could. Their weapons systems alone, when fully operational, make the Yamato look like peanuts. They also have created strange and disturbing devices known among the existing sentient species as "Evangels", which have the capability of completely dominating some-ones mind and twisting their body to the inscrutable ends of the Designers. All in all, the invoke Clarke's Third Law.

Weaknesses: As far as we know, all of the original Designers have been dead for centuries, if not millenia. During this period, all of their equipment has decayed from micrometeorite strikes, stellar radiation and other factors. This leaves many of their ships ripe for looting in one of the highest-risk, highest-reward jobs in the universe.

Goals: [spoiler] They need to convert enough people to rebuild a new Designer, in mind and body. They foolishly limited their A.I.s so that they could not possibly build themselves a body in imitation of the Designers, so a new one must be built from scratch. Forseeing their death, they created a protocol to rebuild themselves. Convert enough people, and they will be able to build a facility capable of making new Designers. When this occurs, an exponential growth of such facilities will occur and all known sentient races will bow once more the the Designers. [/spoiler]

Motivation: [spoiler] To live once more. [/spoiler]

Role in the story: Their technology and artifacts are incredibly valuable. Thus, salvage teams are sent out by various mega-corporations and nations. The story follows one such team, who work on the XE Fau D Tommy and actively seek out such artifact.

Backstory: They were The Precursors. They ruled everything. Nothing could stop them. Something stopped them. Now they are dead. [spoiler] Now they want to live again.[/spoiler]

Relevant Tropes:

The Precursors

Abusive Precursors

Rubber-Forehead Aliens: Not the Designers themselves, but their creations. A lot of them use similar templates.

The Corruption: Played with. While the Envangels have horrifying effects, [spoiler]this is the original intent and design for the races that the Designers created. [/spoiler]

Conlang: Working on it.

Always a Bigger Fish: Some left behind audio just before the disappearance of their race. All of the audio logs recovered from these dates have a distinct sound of either hurriedness or screaming incomprehensibly.

Singularity: The reason why it's so hard to make a new Designer, and why their distant descendants can't perform the same sort of feats of intelligence.

Hive Mind: The Evangels.

The Corruption

Starfish Alien

Super-Intelligence

Kardashev Scale: A three at least.

Seems like a neat Abusive precursor race, though I was initially confused with how an extinct race could be a major threat. Fortunately, the AI thing clarified me, and I found it to be rather clever.

Also, formatting tip: when doing spoiler tags, they should start like this [[spoiler: and end in double brackets.

I always find abusive precursors more fiendish somehow - very good take.

• Name: Dhakar the Everliving / Dhakar the Eternal Embarrassment / Marcus Lindermann of Normandy

• Age: about 900 or so, high end in that area.

• Personality: Dhakar is a cruel being of the Dark Gods by most measures, but despite this one of the most consistent parts of his character is a perplexing hero complex that makes him want to be a "hero" to the Dark God forces, and so in his unlimited ego and malicious response to slights on his allies' honour, he is prone to "doing the right thing for all the wrong reasons." He is a brutal fighter for whom there are no rules of combat, and he is prone to saying how very incredible living forever is. Due to his Contract with the Dark Gods, he literally cannot die - he simply respawns in the Realm of the Gods [Dark Half], where he can very easily return to the material universe. He does however have an obsession with the descendants of the person whose actions resulted in his current hideous state, and obtaining revenge on them. There are however some things that, in his "Dark Nobility" even he won't do. He doesn't kill very young children, for example, though he doesn't consider 10 to 13 year olds children for a Deliberate Values Dissonance reason. That said, given one of the spoilered names, he's not quite as formidable as he thinks he is, and most people have gotten a rather ingrained response to him...

• Abilities: In addition to his immortality, he has abilities connected to all eight Dark Gods, meaning he has an absurdly varied number of superpowers. He can use a large number of Casting a Shadow based spells, he can cast attacks coming for him into "the void", he can use mind magic and possession in an immaterial form, and is a highly skilled shapeshifter. He can also use abilities connected to whatever it is he's possessing, and due to his constitution, he lends a magical edge to what he's possessing.

• Weaknesses: That all said, Dhakar is best described as an overly pompous fool who thinks being from the age of the Crusades makes him the ultimate badass. It doesn't. He also tends to talk way too much, and brags before all things are considered. He also has some I Know Your True Name weaknesses.

• Goals: Attain victory for the Dark Gods "...and isn't it about time I get some respect"?

• Motivation: His motive is more or less that he's finally found patron gods actually interested in him, and actively involved in his life. So he wants to create a triumph for them.

• Backstory: He was originally a young knight who grew bored with his less than affluent life style and lack of achievements, so he threw his lot in with the crusaders, and thought he was marching into a glorious holy war. He wasn't. The things he saw in the Crusades made him go rampantly insane, first turning into a Sociopathic Soldier, and then finding religion in a Dark God Temple, and tendering his service in his madness to each and every single one. He didn't think they'd take it seriously. He proceeded to kidnap and sacrifice exactly 616 victims from a crusader state to the Dark Gods, and as a young lord from that state tracked him down, Dhakar thought he was gonna get an epic fight in. He got killed in one hit. The Dark Gods basically pitied him so much after that that Azekred the Prince of Promises, the Dark God of Oaths, looked back, found that bit about devoting himself to each one of them, and gave Dhakar new life as the Everliving. From then on he's been a recurring thorn in most heroes' side.

• Tropes:
• Arch-Enemy: An entire bloodline - and Caine was able to get Dhakar on his side by promising to tell him where the people affiliated with this bloodline are in exchange for services provided.
• Badass Boast: He transitions from Aria's Voice of the Legion into his own as he possesses her dying body and composes his new body by taking her speech into his own, "And may it be known that no weapon suffices to slay the Everliving!! With each death my vengeance grows, and I will unleash my steel-clad revenge on this entire universe! That is my promise, children of the revolution!"
• Beam Spam: he has eyes on his shoulders and elbows that shoot numerous beams...which explode.
• Berserk Button: Laughing at Dhakar. Just...don't do it.
• Body Horror: Some of the things he does to his bodies can be quite disgusting.
• Body of Bodies: Dhakar basically inhabits a set of bodies, and fuses them together. His standard one is a body composed of six of his fellow crusaders merged together, with three heads grotesquely fused together. He however has done something similar in other ways, including in the Tri Age crossover possessing Aria and a lot of torture equipment to fight, and later possessing six different magitech tanks in desperation.
• Curb-Stomp Battle: though occasionally he gets a Curb Stomp Cushion moment of getting in at least a decent hit or two.
  • However, him against the mundane foes in Book IV is a rather gruesome inversion of what usually happens to Dhakar. His body of tanks in this case crushes an entire regiment of government affiliated soldiers going to investigate Caine and why nobody heard of Elijah Gibbs for months.
• Demonic Possession: Basically his thing - he possesses people or even things. Near the end of the Sanfield War, he even possesses the remains of the infamous magical tank Caine deployed.
• Determinator: on some occasions he just plain gets tired of losing and getting embarrassed, and musters determination he doesn't usually have. Even when fighting in Tri Age against a gamebreaker like Tatsuya Shiba he tanks right through an attack that should've ended him and everything around him, and then unleashed a purely physical beatdown. He only went down after a decidedly longer than expected fight. Matthew even gets some respect for him after that; "Dhakar...he put in a lot more effort today than I thought he could."
• End of an Age: He's seen a few of them and even been involved...though never in a way as grandiose as how he says;
  • The end of the crusades, with the "Paper Crusade" saw Dhakar, Malevolent and two Light God generals going together in an odd Enemy Mine to reclaim the Holy Stone of Solais from the Muslim forces in the Holy Land, teaming up with the Pope in a case of aligned interests. Its also far sadder than you'd expect; Dhakar wilts a little inside as Malevolent informs him "B-barely five percent of the necessary forces showed up...the crusade...has failed before it even launched." Two days later and when Dhakar is told the Pope died, he just teleports home in despair.
  • Dhakar is handed another defeat in the War of the Roses; King Richard's death in battle and Henry Tudor using a spellcrafted sword to defeat Dhakar almost like it was just a chore resulted in a downplayed villainous breakdown, with Dhakar lamenting that he's losing everything...and then just being unceremoniously slain again and sent home.
• Even Evil Has Standards: Dhakar will defend the honor of his friends - as such he finds the "murderous hunchback" interpretation of Richard III tremendously offensive. Its also good to note when some Nazi Mystics summoned him, he scanned their minds and found the idea of the Final Solution "repulsive".
• Evil Is Bigger: Most of his bodies, but especially his towering and powerful tank body, formed of six powerful tanks, with the barrels on there, disguised as his spikes of villainy. He seems to like this body the most...
• Evil Makes You Monstrous: Accepting the Dark Gods offer of immortality resulted in him coming back...as a horrific body of bodies. Due to his "bigger is better" mentality, he never possesses just one body. He always mashes many of them together into tremendous giants.
• Fighting a Shadow: He is an immaterial spirit that can never be destroyed, and so killing his body merely makes him take a somewhat long trek home.
• General Failure: The truth - he's just not very good at organizing a large scale campaign against a competent foe. With the right, smart people on his side however, he can do some damage...
• Heroic Wannabe: He just wants so very badly to get heroic recognition and be seen as someone who won a great battle / war, and prove he's actually worth his patrons' time. This usually results in him doing something surprisingly good even though he is still a villain.
• Insubstantial Ingredient: During his time with Caine, he forges a sword "made of the hatred and grudges of the fallen" to wield. Despite being a tremendous sword, due to Dhakar's size, he wields it like a dinky little dagger. It also appears to cause a wound that will never heal, because a book later, Sorano is still injured where Dhakar skewered him in the arm.
• Iron Butt Monkey: He's the official "spirit animal" of Caine's forces. He's been defeated by a thirteen year old girl shouting his name at him. He still keeps coming back again and again.
• Obviously Evil: Lets see; spikes of evil, horribly warped head, claw-like limbs, predilection for powerful shadowy magic and holy shit that voice of the legion...yep.
• Older Is Better: He believes - quite correctly - he gets Stronger with Age, but not in the way he thinks. The trope is ultimately subverted - he mostly ends up playing second fiddle to modern antagonists, and he gets defeated in some really embarrassing ways.
• Red Eyes, Take Warning: His tank body has four glowing, mechanical eyes.
• Super-Empowering: Due to having the patronage of eight gods, he can offer his own patronage to people, often empowering them to become threats more severe than Dhakar himself.
• Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: Thankfully, most of the rest of the Dark God forces cannot stand this pretentious wannabe of a git, with Reiji the notable exception.
• Villainous Friendship: with Reiji, at first Dhakar was manipulating him for his spells, but over time the two genuinely came to appreciate each other.
• Villain Team-Up: He gets involved in a lot of these, whether canon or in the crossover.
• War Is Hell: Which served to madden the human Dhakar into madness and misanthropy.
• Would Hurt a Child: Matthew assumes when he hears Dhakar was really that old, and was involved in the War of the Roses that it was him that killed the two princes in the tower. Dhakar utterly denies it was him, and in fact seemed offended by the very insinuation.

edited 11th Aug '16 12:52:40 AM by NickTheSwing

Pros: He's very fleshed out. His past is well formed and he isn't a caricature.

Cons: He seems overpowered. Like, really overpowered. Maybe not his powers so much as his lack of physical weaknesses.

Unimportant Side Notes:

1) The whole "sacrificing 616 people" confused me because that is the Number of the Beast, usually associated with the Devil, but you decided to use it for something completely unrelated. Idk but that bothers me. Ignore this if you want.

2) The Dark Gods don't seem all that evil. I mean they're capable of compassion (They pitied Dhakar). Does this lead to a plot twist?

3) The Dark Gods don't seem that distinct from each other. Couldn't there just be one Dark God?

4) Are there any gods in opposition to him or is this a Devil(s) But No God situation?

edited 11th Aug '16 9:06:55 AM by SephirotAero

2) Its not exactly a plot twist. Some of the Dark Gods are evil, like Varancain (God of Meaningless Evil), Zayufur (Goddess of Defilement and Becoming Your Anti-thesis). But some of the Light Gods are not exactly paragons of virtue - see; Arkodes, the Light God...of Werewolves and Predation and Zeufonis, Light God of Hospitality, Stagnation and Vengeful Smiting.

3) They're basically covering numerous profiles. Khaos for example is Dark God of "Dark Justice" (as in vigilante justice), while Azekred is Dark God of Deals (as in, a Deal with the Devil. He authors most of the contracts with the Dark Gods).

4) There are Light Gods and they have their own agents, but they're, as covered, rather dickish in their own ways. Zeufonis in particular is best known for kidnapping Khaos' girlfriend due to wanting to extract her soul so as to erase free will in everyone but the Gods.

As for Dhakar seeming overpowered, keep in mind a thirteen year old girl forced him to retreat by shouting his name at him. He's also on record being defeated by a random collection of wannabe superheroes.

Okay, so I'm seeing a conglomerate of Gods, both Light and Dark. But that also makes me wonder if it's necessary to call Light and Dark Gods. Some Dark Gods honestly sound like decent people if I met them irl. Some Light Gods sound like sociopaths. What gives them these names? An actual alignment? An ancient sworn allegiance to some kind of war in the past? The color of clothes they wear?

edited 12th Aug '16 11:09:06 AM by SephirotAero

The sides they took in a by now ancient war - essentially, Khaos lost Lishana due to Zeufonis kidnapping her, and Varancain told a terrible lie that made Khaos essentially split the pantheon in two in the pursuit of revenge on Zeufonis and his brother Jenon, who the Dark Gods saw as an enabler of Zeufonis' worst excesses.

Hate to be that guy, but my villain never got a critique...

Whoops. Sorry about that, other people got in the way.

No offense, but your villain is... well a little bland. It's nothing I haven't seen before. I mean he's cruel to his own minions, he's intimidating physically but holds command over dark magics. He's angry at something that happened in the past. He enslaved elves. Sound familiar? It's Lord of The Rings all over again. The only really unique thing is the whole minotaur/centaur thing, but I'm not a big fan of hooves. Also, is there a way to kill him permanently?

Thank you for the feedback.

To answer your question, there is a way to kill him permanently, but no one's figured out how as of yet (except for me, but that would be spoilers).

I'll try to think of some things that will make him a little more interesting.

The best advice I could give you is to make the plot (or symbolism) before you make the world and the villain. The villain usually exists for the story, not the other way around

Hey, 1000th post!