Characters / Saturday Night Live

Saturday Night Live, being a long running sketch show, has numerous characters, with lots of Character Catchphrases.

List arranged by season of character's first appearance.

---

Seasons 1- 5

Irwin Mainway

Played by Dan Aykroyd

A ruthless profiteer who makes dangerous children's toys. Often appears on the show Consumer Probe.

• Cool Shades: Irwin always wears sunglasses.
• Corrupt Corporate Executive: Makes dangerous children's toys such as Bag o' Glass, Johnny Switchblade: Adventure Punk, and Chainsaw Teddy, apparently legally.
• Insane Troll Logic: Irwin's justifications for making dangerous toys are pretty insane.
  Irwin Mainway: Look, you know, a kid, the average kid, he picks up, you know, broken glass anywhere: the beach, the street, garbage cans, parking lots, all over the place in the big city. We're just packaging what the kids want.
• Smug Snake

Samurai Futaba

Played by John Belushi

A samurai warrior working in modern New York.

• Anachronism Stew: There is no reason for an 18th-century Japanese feudal warrior to be doing odd jobs in 20th-century New York. Other than Rule of Funny, of course.
• As Long as It Sounds Foreign: "YO MAMA-SAN!"
• Katanas Are Better: No matter what the task, his katana is the perfect tool for it.
• New Job as the Plot Demands: Has a different job in each appearance.
• No Celebrities Were Harmed: Is based on Toshiro Mifune's role on Yojimbo.
• Pretty Fly for a White Guy: One particular sketch recasts him as a modern Italian-American who merely acts like a feudal samurai.
• Seppuku: Often attempts it over any disappointment.

Emily Litella

Played by Gilda Radner

An old lady with hearing problems who appears on Weekend Update to complain about editorials.

• Character Catchphrase: "Never mind."
• Completely Off-Topic Report: Due to misunderstandings brought about by her hearing problems, her comments are always on the wrong topic.
• Mondegreen Gag: Due to her deafness, she misinterprets things and ends up talking about such topics as presidential erections, sax and violins on television, endangered feces, and the deaf penalty.

Roseanne Roseannadanna

Played by Gilda Radner

A frequent commentator on Weekend Update.

• Character Catchphrase:
  • "Well, it just goes to show you, it's always something."
  • "I thought I was gonna die!"
  • "It may surprise you that I, Roseanne Roseannadanna..."
• "Shaggy Frog" Story: Her editorials end up as stories about celebrities doing gross things.
• Shout-Out: She's named after local NYC news anchor Rose Ann Scamardella.

The Coneheads

Played by Dan Aykroyd, Jane Curtin, and Laraine Newman

Aliens from the planet Remulak on an undercover mission to Earth, who have to pose as humans.

• Character Catchphrase: "We are from France."
• Rubber-Forehead Aliens: Parodied, as they have gigantic conical heads.
• Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: In classic alien fashion.
• Unusually Uninteresting Sight: Any time someone notices something off about them, they instantly kill all suspicion simply by claiming to be from France.

Theodoric Of York

Played by Steve Martin

A man from The Middle Ages who worked as barber and a judge. As a barber he performed medical services for the town, since medicine wasn't exactly a real profession back then.

• Comically Inept Healing: Theodoric's treatments are inept even by medieval standards, like bloodletting a man with broken legs that were already bleeding.
• "Eureka!" Moment: Every sketch, Theordoric has a vision of leading a revolution where medicine or jurisprudence would be governed not by superstition and tradition, but by reason, then says, "Nah".
• Eye of Newt: One of Theodoric's recommended treatments was to apply a poultice made from powdered staghorn, gum of arabic, and boiled sheep's urine.
• Know-Nothing Know-It-All: Lampshaded when Theodoric states that medical science once believed that a patient's lethargic condition would be due to witchcraft or demonic possession, then proceeds to blame it instead on a toad or small dwarf living in the patient's stomach.
• New Job as the Plot Demands: Theodoric works as a barber (to parody medieval ideas of medicine), and a judge (to parody medieval jurisprudence).

The Blues Brothers

Played by: Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi

Elwood (Aykroyd) and Jake (Belushi) Blues are a pair of blues and soul singers from Chicago.

The Festrunk Brothers

Played by: Dan Aykroyd and Steve Martin

Two brothers, Yortuk (Aykroyd) and Georg (Martin) who emigrated from Czechoslovakia and go to different social hangouts hitting on women.

• Character Catchphrase: "We are two wild and crazy guys!"
• Funny Foreigner: Their schtick is that they really don't get how to act American or talk to American women, despite trying way too hard by wearing tacky '70s clothes and filling their speech with nonsensically-used English expressions ("Let's catch some rays!" "You and what army?").

Seasons 6- 10

The Whiners

Played by Joe Piscopo (Doug Whiner) and Robin Duke (Wendy Whiner)

A couple with nasally whiny voices who complain about everything, and claim to have diverticulitis.

• Breaking the Fourth Wall: One sketch has the Whiners in attendance at Saturday Night Live.
• Hypochondria: The Whiners refuse to eat anything other than macaroni and cheese because they think anything else will exacerbate their diverticulitis.
• Manchild: Both Whiners are annoyingly childish in their complaining. Unlike many man-children, the Whiners have no childlike redeeming values. Wendy Whiner is a rare female example.
• Meaningful Name: They pretty much are what they are called.
• Rage Breaking Point: The Whiners often push people around them to this.

Mr. Robinson

Played by Eddie Murphy

An amoral man from the inner city. A send up of Mister Rogers.

• Actually Pretty Funny: According to numerous sources, the actual Mister Rogers found the skits hysterical.
• Affably Evil: A shifty, thieving man with a sunny personality.
• Affectionate Parody: It might not come off that way, but Eddie Murphy was quite clear that he loved Mister Rogers and that's why this sketch exists.
• Deconstructive Parody: The man hosts a children's show in the same manner as Mr. Rogers. However in this case, Mr. Robinson discusses life in the inner city and the various crimes he commits.
• Distant Finale: During the Season 45 (2019) episode Murphy hosted, we find Robinson still squatting in the same apartment even as the neighborhood has gentrified around him, with ample scope for porch-pirating the neighbors' internet purchases.
• Lower-Class Lout: The man embodies nearly every negative stereotype of poor, inner-city people.
• Suddenly Shouting: He easily switches from a sunny kids' show host delivery to angry shouting.

Gumby

Played by Eddie Murphy

The classic animated children's character, who in his old age acts like a filthy Borscht Belt comedian.

• Alter Kocker: He has a strong Yiddish accent.
• Character Catchphrase: "I'm Gumby, dammit!"
• Her Code Name Was "Mary Sue": One sketch has him writing and directing his own biopic.
• Noodle Incident: Something nasty happened between him and Pokey, so that he now insists no one even mention the horse's name.

Seasons 10- 15

Harvey Firestein

Played by Jon Lovitz

The gay host of the talk show Plug Away, where celebrities come to plug their movies and/or products, only to be subjected to Harvey's insecurities about his looks. Based on the real-life actor and playwright Harvey Fierstein

• Character Catchphrase: "I just want to be loved, is that so wrooong?"
• I Am Not Pretty: Harvey is always asking his guests if they find him attractive, even the straight men.
• Gayngst: Harvey gets his feelings hurt whenever his guests are weirded out by questions whether they find him attractive (but it doesn't stop him from asking every time).
• Hypocrite: When Kathleen Turner visits his show, she turns the tables and asks him if he finds her attractive (despite him being gay), and he gets just as weirded out by it as his guests get when he does it to them.

Church Lady

Played by Dana Carvey

Church Lady is the host of Church Chat, a talk show where she riffs on various visiting celebrities and public figures for their sinful lifestyles.

• Character Catchphrase:
  • "Well, isn't that special."
  • "Could it be... SATAN?"
• Deadpan Snarker: Church Lady takes sarcasm up to eleven.
• Holier Than Thou: Church Lady's raison d'etre.
• Hypocrite: Church Lady sometimes riffs evangelical public figures (such as Ted Cruz and Jim Bakker) for claiming to be more holy than everyone else, meanwhile it's pretty much her whole schtick. Though, granted, it may be less their attitude and more that she just doesn't believe they are actually all that holy to begin with.
• Jerkass Has a Point: She makes a number of quite intelligent and insightful comments about her guests (or at least, the parodies she interviews), correctly pointing out their shallowness, selfishness or stupidity.
• Snark Knight: Despite being a parody of humourless Moral Guardians, Church Lady is an absolute smart-ass.

Hans and Franz

Played by Dana Carvey (Hans) and Kevin Nealon (Franz)

Two Austrian bodybuilders, hosts of Pumping Up with Hans and Franz

• The Ahnold: One of the earliest examples. When Arnold Schwarzenegger hosted, he played himself paying his "cousins" a visit. Schwarzenegger himself would later use parts of their act while campaigning for governor of California.
• Character Catchphrase:
  • "I am Hans." "Und I am Franz." "And we're here to pump [clap] you up!"
  • "Girly mann."
• Fake Muscles: Part of their costume, though not In-Universe.

Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar

Played by Mike Myers (Wayne) and Dana Carvey (Garth)

The hosts of Wayne's World, a community access cable show in Aurora, Illinois.

• Character Catchphrase: Catch phrases are a big part of Wayne's act, even by Saturday Night Live standards. (Mike Myers and Dana Carvey lampshaded this on SNL's 40th anviversary; they rated catch phrases as the 5th best thing about Saturday Night Live, then proceeded to rattle off about a dozen of them.) Some famous ones:
  • "Party on, Wayne!" "Party on, Garth!"
  • "Excellent!"
  • "Shyeah, and monkeys might fly out of my butt."
  • "No way!" "Way!"
  • "Shwing!"
  • "I think I'm gonna hurl!"
  • "NOT!"
• Hidden Depths: Wayne's World typically discusses pop culture, especially heavy metal, but the show often delves into sophisticated issues, such as when he had a discussion with Aerosmith over the fall of communism.
• Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Wayne and Garth occasionally drop in some big words.
• Sidekick: Garth. Obviously, because it is Wayne's World.
• Top Ten List: Wayne and Garth often make top ten lists for Wayne's World.

Stuart Rankin

Played by Mike Myers

Owner of the shop All Things Scottish.

• Berserk Button: Just about anything that isn't Scottish will set Stuart off, but his biggest button is when people confuse Scotland and Ireland.
• Character Catchphrase: "If it's not Scottish, it's crap!"
• Crazy-Prepared: A running gag is that All Things Scottish has even the most obscure Scottish items in stock.
• Man in a Kilt: Stuart wears a kilt.
• Thrifty Scot: On one occasion, Stuart told a customer his cash register didn't work and that he'd give him his change later.

A Grumpy Old Man

Played by Dana Carvey

A Grumpy Old Man appears on weekend update to sneer at all the luxuries modern people have.

• Character Catchphrase: "That's the way it was and we liked it!"
• Early 20th-Century Morons: He openly states that people in his day were ignorant morons, which is why they'd do things like standing outside during hurricanes to dry their hair and using the same condom multiple times.
• Grumpy Old Man: Well duh.
• Improvised Armor: The condoms back in his day, consisting of whole rabbit skins tied in place with bungee cords.
• When I Was Your Age...: Or, as A Grumpy Old Man phrased it, "Back in my day...."

Toonces the Driving Cat

The cat who can drive a car (just not very well). He drives around, all over the town.

• Aesop Amnesia: Lampshaded on one occasion.
  Brenda: You think we should let him drive?
  Lyle: Oh, Toonces has learned his lesson.
• Captain Crash: Toonces drives off a cliff every time he's behind the wheel.
• Dancing Bear: Just because Toonces can drive a car doesn't mean he can do it well.
• Driving a Desk: Well, the premise kind of calls for this, doesn't it?
• Expository Theme Tune:
  Toonces the Driving Cat
  The cat who could drive a car.
  He drives around, all over the town
  Toonces the Driving Cat!
• Green-Eyed Monster: In one sketch, Toonces becomes insanely jealous when another cat gets a driver's license, so he chloroforms the other cat and takes his place, with disastrous results.
• Lampshade Hanging: The first skit concluded with a driving instructor asking, "How does he reach the pedals?"
• Phrase Catcher: "TOONCES, LOOK OUT!"
• Shout-Out: Toonces sketches often parody movies with notable driving scenes, such as Driving Miss Daisy, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Bullitt, and Rebel Without a Cause.
• Stock Footage: Toonces's crashes are stock footage clips of cars driving off cliffs.
• Unusually Uninteresting Sight: No one ever seems particularly surprised that a cat can drive a car (however poorly).

Massive Headwound Harry

Played by Dana Carvey

• Bloody Hilarious: Blood from Harry's head wound sickens and irrirates people when it gets on food, sofas, hats, and so on.
• Exactly What It Says on the Tin
• Wound That Will Not Heal: Massive Headwound Harry's headwound apparently doesn't heal.

The Continental

Played by Christopher Walken

A creepy guy who employs various stalker-esque tactics to lure women to his apartment so that he can seduce them, only to fail miserably.

• Casanova Wannabe: He uses tricks like stealing mail to lure women to his apartment, but makes an incompetent buffoon of himself.
• Everything Sounds Sexier in French: The Continental believes this, hence why he loves nothing more than fine sham-pan-ya.
• Food Slap: The women he's seducing tend to throw champagne in his face (often repeatedly).
• Dirty Old Man: He lures younger women to his apartment to try to seduce them, hilariously incompetently.
• The Peeping Tom:
  • In one sketch, the Continental has a telescope aimed at his victim's window.
  • In another, he's rigged a bathroom mirror so he can watch his guest use the toilet.
  • And in another, he's got a mirror on the floor so he can get a Panty Shot.
• P.O.V. Cam: The Continental is shot from the point of view of his intended victim.

Dieter

Played by Mike Myers

Host of the German talk show Sprockets.

• Character Catchphrase:
  • "Would you like to touch my monkey?"
  • "I am happy as a little girl."
  • "Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance." (end of each sketch)
• Funny Foreigner
• German Humor: Dieter parodies stereotypical German humor.

Tommy Flanagan

Played by: Jon Lovitz

A pathological liar who'd often appear in "Weekend Update" and spin outrageous lies to make himself seem more important.

• Character Catchphrase: "Yeah, that's the ticket..."

Seasons 16- 20

Pat

Played by Julia Sweeney

A person of Ambiguous Gender in various situations.

• Ambiguous Gender: Pretty much the entire joke is people being disconcerted with the ambiguity or trying to figure out the answer.

Linda Richman

Played by Mike Myers

Host of a local New York call-in talk show Coffee Talk.

• 555: The call-in number for Coffee Talk is 555-4444.
• Character Catchphrase:
  • "I'm getting verklempt!"
  • "Talk amongst yourselves." (while verklempt)
  • "Like buttah."
• Jewish Complaining: Pretty much the whole point of Coffee Talk.
• Write Who You Know: Linda Richman is based on Mike Myers's mother-in-law, Linda Richman, and Linda Richman the character is apparently toned-down from the real-life Linda Richman.
• Yiddish as a Second Language: Besides verklempt (a real Yiddish word) Linda brings in a variety of words on the spectrum from actual Yiddish to Yinglish, some the words almost sounding like Buffy Speak.
  Linda: He developed schpilkis in his gonnechtagazoink.

Richard a.k.a. The Richmeister

Played by Rob Schneider

An office worker who annoys his co-workers by riffing on their names as they use the copy machine by his desk.

• Actually Pretty Funny: Occasionally his co-workers will admit some of the names he comes up with are pretty clever.
• I Just Want to Have Friends: It's implied that he's a lonely guy and his nicknaming habit stems from a desire to befriend his co-workers.
• The Nicknamer: His whole schtick is rattling off nicknames for everyone who works with him.

Ed Glosser, Trivial Psychic

Played by Christopher Walken

During a brief power outage, Ed Glosser's tanning booth experiences a slight malfunction. Forfeiting a darker base, he instead gains the mildly impressive ability to foretell insignificant events of the immediate future.

• Brain Freeze: Ed Glosser prophesies ice cream headache on someone.
• Comical Overreacting: Ed Glosser takes his prophecies very seriously even though they are trivial.
• Mundane Utility: The sketch parodies this trope. Also lampshaded when Phil Hartman mockingly prophesies that Ed Glosser will complete the stack of papers on his desk by 5 o'clock.

Nat X

Played by: Chris Rock

The militant Black host of The Dark Side with Nat X, a 15-minute talk show. Why 15? Because any longer and the man would call it welfare.

• "Angry Black Man" Stereotype: Parodied.
• Character Catchphrase: He greets his guests with "Sit yo ass down!".
• Top Ten List: He has a top 5 list, which he says is because "The Man" wouldn't let him have 10.
• Vaudeville Hook: When he's sick of his guests, he'll summon the Sandman (Chris Farley) to sweep them offstage.

Bill Swerski's Superfans

Played by Joe Mantegna (Bill Swerski), George Wendt (Bob Swerski), Mike Myers / John Goodman (Pat Arnold), Robert Smigel (Carl Wolloski), and Chris Farley (Todd O'Connor).

A panel of Chicago sports fans with a radio show that airs from Ditka's Bar before every Chicago Bears football game.

• Big Eater: All the Superfans eat piles of unhealthy Chicago food, leading to their frequent heart-attacks.
• Character Catchphrase: "Daaa Bearssss!" (as well as variations like "Daaa Bullssss!")
• Crisis of Faith: They went through one when Da Bears fired Ditka. It became even more complicated when Ditka was hired by the New Orleans Saints.
• Comfort Food: Pat Arnold's reason for gaining weight; when a once in an lifetime talent such as Michael Jordan retires, a man can only turn to the solace of his cheese fries.
• Crossover: In one sketch, it's revealed that Todd O'Connor's cousin is none other than Irwin Mainway, who attempts to peddle shoddy Bulls merchandise on the show.
• Everyone Has Standards: While the fans' predictions are always ridiculously impractical, Bob did once chastise Todd for predicting that Michael Jordan would score just under 200 points against the Pistons as 100 points was (and as of 2023 still is) the single game record.
• Hero Worship: The Superfans worship Mike Ditka, the head coach of the Bears at the time. They all dress like him, sport the same kind of moustache, and wear the same kind of sunglasses as Ditka does.
• I Reject Your Reality: The fans' faith in the Bears more often than not crossed the line from optimistic to delusional:
  Bob: So far, The Bears are four and eight. And although they are technically mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, do not count them out.
• Miles Gloriosus by Proxy: The Superfans respect no practical limits in their prognostications about the Bears and other Chicago sports teams. They shamelessly predict the Bears and Bulls to win by ridiculous margins, even with ridiculous handicaps like the Bears all being 14 inches talls (but with full-size Ditka). They even precicted that Ditka could defeat the Giants team all by himself.
• Obsessive Sports Fan: They base their entire lives around Chicago's sports teams, bordering on religious fervor.
• Put on a Bus: The sketch was first used during the episode where Joe Mantegna hosted with him portraying Bill Swerksi. When it became a recurring bit, they couldn't have Montegna appear so they replaced Bill with his brother Bob (with the repeated explanation that Bill was hospitalized after a heart attack). Bill would eventually return in the sketch that aired after Ditka was fired by the Bears as well as several cameos made by the characters in commercials and other promotional events.
• Scylla and Charybdis: When Mike Ditka became the head coach of the New Orleans Saints after the Bears fired him, the group found themselves divided on how to proceed. Carl became a Saints fan, Bob moved to the geographic halfway point between Chicago and New Orleans, and Todd deluded himself into believing it was still 1986.
• Trademark Favorite Food: As true Chicagoans they love sausages; Todd also has a great appetite for pork chops.

Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer

Played by Phil Hartman

He used to be a caveman, but now he's a lawyer.

• Character Catchphrase: "I'm just a caveman. Your world frightens and confuses me."
• Chewbacca Defense: Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer uses his caveman roots to convince jurors that he is more primitive and in-tune with nature and therefore his words are more truthful.
• Contemporary Caveman: Yep
• In Harmony with Nature: Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer invokes this trope on himself (falsely) to gain the trust of jurors.
• Only One Name: "It's just Keyrock, your honor," after the judge called him Mr. Keyrock.
• Simple Country Lawyer: Subverted; Keyrock claims to be a caveman who is completely out of place in the modern world, but he's obviously adapted just fine.
• Smug Smiler: Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer flashes an evil grin at the camera every time he wins a case.

Brian

Played by Adam Sandler

Host of The Denise Show, a talk show where Brian obsesses over his ex-girlfriend Denise (played by Shannen Doherty).

• Crazy Jealous Guy: Brian is very jealous of the guy he thinks Denise is dating and even threatens to kill him.
• Harassing Phone Call: One of the things Brian does on The Denise Show is to make creepy phone calls to Denise and her new boyfriend.
• Hollywood Restraining Order: Brian reported that he was ordered to stay at least 300 feet from Denise.
• Oblivious to Love: Brian is so obsessed with Denise he doesn't notice when Denise's friend Sarah visits the show and very obviously flirts with him.
• Psycho Ex: He's hosting a call-in talk show devoted to stalking and crying over Denise.
• The Show Must Go On: Brian says this after Denise comes on the show and very forcefully tells him to move on.

Bennett Brauer

Played by Chris Farley

A commentator on Weekend Update who doesn't "fit the mold". He spends his entire segment ranting about how the management is letting him do commentary despite not being "good looking" or having any "personal hygiene" like other commentators.

• Air Quotes: Every major excuse he makes he indicates air quotes.
• Fat Slob: Bennett's excuses himself repeatedly for being a fat slob.

Matt Foley

Played by Chris Farley

An incompetent motivational speaker.

• Character Catchphrase:
  • "My name is Matt Foley. I'm 35 years old, I'm thrice divorced, and I live in a van down by the river!
  • "Well, whoop-dee-freakin'-doo!/lah-dee-freakin'-dah!"
• Despite the Plan: His speeches usually work, not because they're good but because the audience members want to do whatever they can to avoid having to deal with him again.
• Hapless Self-Help: Matt is supposed to be a motivational speaker, but mostly he's an obnoxious loser who scares people into trying not to end up like him.
• The Klutz: Each sketch ends with him breaking furniture by jumping on it. The first time was accidental, but it got such a big reaction that it became part of the character.
• Lives in a Van... down by the river!
• Must Have Caffeine: Whoever is talking about him mentions he is scarfing down on coffee-based products, and in the gym sketch he takes a huge pot and chugs it.
• Scare 'Em Straight: His main motivational tactic is to show people that if they don't change they could become a big loser like him.
• Straw Loser: Matt is overweight, has had multiple failed marriages, lives in a van, and relies on welfare for food. Essentially, the opposite of what one would expect from a motivational speaker.
• Suddenly Shouting: His main scare tactic was to start quiet and build to a thunderous yell, usually paired with some variation of "I wish you would SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE!"

Stuart Smalley

Played by: Al Franken

Host of the self-help TV show, Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smalley.

• Character Catchphrase: He ends every sketch with "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me."
• Nice Guy: He's a genuinely nice guy who wants to bring out what's best in others.

Opera Man

Played by: Adam Sandler

A "Weekend Update" character that sings about the news in an operatic style.

• Gratuitous Italian: His songs consist of a mixture of Italian and English words with vowels added to the end to sound Italian.

The Gap Girls

Played by: Chris Farley, David Spade, and Adam Sandler

A trio of gossipy teenaged girls who work at the Gap store at a local mall.

• Ambiguously Bi: Kristy is known to have had at least one ex-boyfriend ("that a-hole Paul"), but when a girl named Akeela (Charles Barkley) flirts with her, Kristy seems into it.
• Berserk Button: Lucy doesn't appreciate it when Kristy and Cindy joke about Michael Jackson being a child molester.
• Big Eater: Cindy, who immediately starts gobbling down Kristy's fries the first chance she gets. She also helps herself to Kristy's soda.
  Kristy: I thought you were, um, trying to lose weight?
  Cindy (grabs Kristy by the neck): LAY OFF ME I'M STARVING! ...ahaha! Diet starts Monday!
• Everyone Has Standards: Lucy and Cindy are appalled when they find out Kristy is still dating "that a-hole Paul." Even their archenemies Tammy and Misty from the Donut Hut think he's bad news and advise her to dump his ass.
• Insistent Terminology: They most often tell people to either belt or cinch their clothes regardless of what they're looking to buy.
• Nightmare Fetishist: The three of them have a habit of following court TV and openly discuss the case regarding the Menendez Brothers.
  Lucy: Have you guys been following the "Menenendez" trial?
  Cindy: Yeah, uh you see their lawyer's hair?
  Kristy: Oh my God SHE'S guilty! Of a bad perm.
  Cindy: Really! I object! I mean it's like being represented by Sammy Hagar.
  Lucy: Which of the brothers got his thing cut off?
  Kristy: Uh, I think it's the older one.
• Sour Supporter: They often complain about working at the Gap store, from dealing with crazy customers and selling cheesy clothes, but they consider actually quitting to be an act of "defection."
• We Used to Be Friends: Lucy apparently stops being friends with Kristy and Cindy after she quits the Gap to work at Jitters.
• What Does She See in Him?: No one can understand why Kristy's dating "that a-hole Paul." She finally wises up and dumps him when she finds out he used her phone to call another girl.
• You Keep Using That Word: Lucy uses big words when defending Michael Jackson then cheerfully admits she doesn't know what they mean. She even mispronounces "conjecture."
  Lucy: That's not fair! You guys already convicted him! All his charges are based on hearsay and conjenture! It's all circumstantial and anecdotal evidence!
  Kristy: What?
  Lucy: I'm just telling you what I heard.
  Kristy: Do you even know what those words mean?
  Lucy: No!

The Herlihy Boy

Played by: Adam Sandler and Chris Farley

A teenager (Sandler) seeking extra work from his neighbors, such as house-sitting, with Mr. O'Malley (Farley) passionately recommending his services.

• Large Ham: Each sketch would see Mr. O'Malley getting increasing irritated with how Herlihy isn't getting hired.

Lionel Osbourne

Played by: Tim Meadows

Host of Perspectives with Lionel Osbourne, an early-morning talk show that primarily deals with African-American issues.

Seasons 21- 25

Mary Katherine Gallagher

Played by Molly Shannon

An awkward Catholic schoolgirl who thinks of herself as a talented performer and tries to get into her school's productions.

• Attention Whore: Mary Katherine tries to insert herself into every production in the school's drama club, and other kinds of clubs and activities.
• Character Catchphrase: "Superstar!", complete with Victory Pose.
• Slapstick: A lot of humor comes from her going all out and tripping and crashing into things.
• Victory Pose: She does one end of every sketch.

Doug and Steve Butabi, the Roxbury Boys

Played by Chris Kattan (Doug) and Will Ferrell (Steve)

What is Love?
Baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me... no more

- Haddaway

Two brothers (and usually a third party) who go clubbing at various venues, often seen bobbing their heads to the music. They eventually starred in their own movie, A Night at the Roxbury.

• Leitmotif: "What is Love" by Haddaway.
• No Sense of Personal Space: What drives women away is their poor sense of personal space while dancing.
• No Social Skills: Doug and Steve are very aggressive, creepy, and thickheaded in their attempts to pick up girls. Even when they find two girls that are actually interested in them, they can't help nearly blowing it.

Lucien Callow and Fagan

Played by Mark McKinney (Lucien Callow) and David Koechner (Fagan)

Two foppish guys who dress like they are from the 1700s and are obsessively big fans of the celebrities on SNL.

• Antiquated Linguistics: They speak in a fake old-sounding English accents.
• Awesome Anachronistic Apparel: "Awesome" may be a stretch but they are wearing examples of clothes from Restoration England.
• Insult Backfire: Any criticism directed aginst Lucien and Fagan is generally met with eager agreement by those two, who thank the critic for their honesty.
• Loony Fans: They have formed quite obsessive fanhoods over various SNL cast members, especially Norm Macdonald, who they mail cakes and sweaters to.
• Squee: The duo make a weird noise and kind of a bow whenever they are talking to one of their targets.

Margaret Jo McCullen and Terry Rialto, later Lynn Vershad

Played by Ana Gasteyer (Margaret Jo) and Molly Shannon (Terry), later Rachel Dratch (Lynn)

The demure hosts of the NPR program The Delicious Dish.

• Character Catchphrase: "Good Times."
• Double Entendre: They're prone to unwittingly utter double entendres, not getting the taboo meaning.
• Mushroom Samba: Margaret Jo and Terry trip out when they accidentally ate some portabella mushrooms.
• Naïve Everygirl: The Delicious Dish hosts are adult versions of this: just plugging along in life in their demure way, not understanding the odd things happening around them.
• Put on a Bus: Terry Rialto was said to have left the show in order to open up her own yogurt factory, she was replaced by Lynn Vershad as host. Later, Lynn would be replaced herself without explanation when Terry returned to the show.
• Speak in Unison: Margaret Jo and Terry always announce the name of their show, The Delicious Dish, and the week's topic, in unison.
• The Bus Came Back: Terry Rialto returned as host of The Delicious Dish, without explanation of why she came back, to talk with Florence Dusty (Betty White) about her Dusty Muffins.

Mango

Played by Chris Kattan

An effeminate nightclub dancer who inspires hopeless infatuation in people.

• Camp Straight: Mango is as camp as it gets but is not gay.
• Character Catchphrase: "You can't have the Mango!"
• Dude Magnet: Men are enthralled by him.
• Leit Motif: ...like the deserts miss the rain...
• Only Has Same-Sex Admirers: Women are not enthralled by him, except for his wife, his ex-girlfriend, and Ellen DeGeneres.
  • Which makes perfect sense. If he's so sexy he can turn straight men gay, then of course, he could turn a lesbian straight.
• The Tease: In spite of the fact that Mango doesn't really want all the attention, he can't help teasing people.

Brian Fellow

Played by Tracy Morgan

The host of Brian Fellow's Safari Planet, a talk show for people who care for animals.

• Character Catchphrase: "That's crazy!" and "I'm Brian Fellow!"
• Cloud Cuckoolander: He frequently asks ridiculous questions about the animals his guests bring, then has an Imagine Spot about the sketch's first animal.
• The Ditz: The Safari Planet announcer admits that Brian Fellow only has "a sixth-grade education", which shows.
• Friend to All Living Things: The Safari Planet theme song declares that Brian Fellow loves animals, and they love him back, making them "inter-species friends".
• Mr. Imagination: He tends to zone out of some of his guests' speeches by fantasizing about the animals previous guests brought.

Nick Burns

Played by Jimmy Fallon

Your company's computer guy. He'll fix your computer, then he's gonna make fun of you.

• Character Catchphrase:
  • "Was that so hard?"
  • "MOVE!"
  • A very sarcastic and exaggerated "YOU'RE WELCOME!" after he fixes someone's computer.
• Jerkass: He's immensely rude and snide toward his coworkers.
• Techno Wizard: Nick can (usually) fix computers by random typing for a few seconds.

The Ambiguously Gay Duo

Voiced by: Stephen Colbert and Steve Carell

Ace and Gary, superheroes from a TV Funhouse segment that are extremely close in an ambiguous way.

• Ambiguously Gay: Well, yeah.
• Canon Immigrant: The sketch originally debuted on The Dana Carvey Show, and was brought over to SNL after that series was canceled.
• Character Catchphrase: "What's everybody looking at?" Ace says this whenever he and Gary do something that looks like something else.
• Eye Beams: Ace has eye beams.
• Innocent Innuendo: Ace and Gary do this all the time (we think).
• Phrase Catcher: "Nothing!" when Ace asks them what they're looking at.

Bruce Dickinson

Played by Christopher Walken

He puts his pants on just like the rest of us, one leg at a time. Except, once his pants are on, he makes gold records.

• Cool Shades
• Idiosyncrazy: He really wants that cowbell.
• A Rare Sentence: "Babies, before we're done here, you'll all be wearing gold-plated diapers."
• Spell My Name with a "The": "Yes, THE Bruce Dickinson"
• Third-Person Person: "Never question Bruce Dickinson"

Gene Frenkel

Played by Will Ferrell

A fictional member of the real band Blue Öyster Cult, who plays the cowbell.

• Happy Dance: Gene gets very animated when Bruce Dickinson asks him to explore the space.
• "No More Holding Back" Speech: Gene makes a passionate speech about "playing the hell" out of the cowbell.
• '70s Hair: He wears a shaggy beard and an afro.
• Sore Loser: Takes it very hard when the rest of the band wants him to ease up on the cowbell, and eventually he gets into a minor altercation with Eric Bloom.

The Spartan Cheerleaders (Craig and Arianna)

Played by Will Ferrell and Cheri Oteri

Two overly enthusiastic but unofficial cheerleaders at East Lake High School, who cheer on events they were not invited to.

• 0% Approval Rating: No one else at East Lake likes them, particularly since a lot of the events they cheer on are ones where there really shouldn't be any cheerleading.
• Even Nerds Have Standards: Even the chess team thinks they're lame.
• Genius Ditz: They really are good cheerleaders, even coming up with their own cheers, but they're just so peppy that no one can stand them. Additionally, one sketch implies that the reason they failed to make the actual cheerleading team is because they are incapable of following the team's rehearsed routines and always improvise.
• Heterosexual Life-Partners: They're best friends, but encourage each other's crushes.
• I Reject Your Reality: Even when the other school groups tell them how annoying and disruptive their cheers are to their events, they think they can make it up to them up by doing the perfect cheer.
• Keet: To a ridiculously hyper degree.

Bill Brasky and Bill Brasky's Buddies

Played By Will Ferrell, Alec Baldwin, John Goodman, David Koechner, Tim Meadows

Three to four extremely drunk businessmen who like to trade stories about their larger-than-life friend Bill Brasky.

• Accidental Marriage: Brasky and one of his friends accidentally got married when Brasky crashed that friend's daughter's wedding.
• The Alcoholic: The friends always have large glasses of scotch with them. Brasky himself showers in vodka and grain alcohol and injects whiskey into his neck via syringe.
• Ambiguously Human: On top of being far stronger and more durable and virile than any human could be, Brasky sweats Gatorade and sheds his skin once a year.
• Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Occasionally, one of the buddies will mention an accomplishment of Brasky's that's not insane, like doing the makeup for Planet of the Apes.
• Ax-Crazy: Brasky has no regard for human life and will cause serious bodily harm to people for his own amusement.
  "I once saw him scissor-kick Angela Lansbury!"
• Bad Humor Truck: Brasky drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
• Bestiality Is Depraved: Brasky once gave a handjob to a manta ray.
• Bigger Is Better in Bed: If the stories about Bill using a rattlesnake for a condom and his foreskin being used as a tarp for Yankee Stadium are true.
• Boomerang Bigot: Brasky hates Mexicans despite being half-Mexican himself. He also hates irony.
• Brown Note: Seeing Brasky naked supposedly drove Brian Wilson insane.
• Butt-Monkey: One of the storytellers has a tendency to shout out embarrassing facts about himself (such as masturbating to the Teletubbies).
• Egomaniac Hunter: Brasky's idea of hunting is as intense as all of his other hobbies: Not only has he killed all four of The Banana Splits with a machete ("They all begged for their lives except Fleagle,"), he also killed Wolfman Jack with a trident, and once forced a captured deer to say his name by manipulating its lips with his hands ("It wasn't exactly it, but it was pretty good for a deer.").
• Extreme Omnivore: Brasky once ate the Bible while water-skiing, ate a whole live chicken, inhaled a seagull, drank a whole glass of LSD, and can digest an entire turtle shell. After he had a four-day heart attack (one for every chamber), doctors found $60 in change in his stomach.
• Forced Perspective: When Brasky arrives, the camera is angled above and close to him, making him appear gigantic.
• The Ghost: Bill Brasky is never seen in full, and only occasionally from behind at the end of a skit.
• I'm a Humanitarian: Brasky would eat a homeless person on a dare, once ate the entire cast of a stage production of The King and I, and accidentally ate a stripper hiding in the cake at his bachelor party.
• Large and in Charge: Brasky is always described as being absolutely massive, his height and weight increasing each time they state it. He can also palm a medicine ball and has dandruff the size of mice. When Brasky arrives at the end of each sketch, the camera is angled such that he appears absolutely enormous compared to his friends, implying that of all the tall tales they spout about him, these may actually be true.
• Made of Iron: Brasky can take a shotgun blast standing and only sprained his ankle after falling off the Empire State Building.
• Memetic Badass: In-Universe. Brasky's friends continually reel off various achievements Brasky has supposedly performed, each more implausible and unlikely than the last. In real life, Brasky's achievements were the inspiration for the infamous Chuck Norris Facts.
• Phrase Catcher:
  • "Bill Brasky is a son of a bitch."
  • "To Bill Brasky!"
• Refuge in Audacity: Brasky's entire life.
• Serial Rapist: Brasky has apparently raped a lot of men, one of whom was David Bowie.
• Serial Spouse: Brasky has fifteen ex-wives.
• Still Believes in Santa: Brasky believes in Santa and wants to put him in porno films.
• Tall Tale: Stories about Brasky are impossible, but they're apparently all true.
• Unexplained Recovery: One sketch is set at his funeral. He gets back up at the end, alive and well, despite already having been autopsied.
• The Vietnam Vet: Brasky served three tours of duty during the Vietnam War, and sired at least one child with a native woman while there.
• With Friends Like These...: Brasky's friends all love him despite how horribly he treats them.
  "Bill Brasky was a 10-foot monster who slept with all our wives! And punched us all in the face! And we love him for it!

Harry Caray

Played by Will Ferrell

Famed announcer for the Chicago Cubs. At first he provided commentary for Weekend Update, then got his own show Space, The Infinite Frontier with Harry Caray.

• Character Catchphrase: "Cubs win! Cubs win!"
• Character Tics: His constant head wobbling.
• Cloudcuckoolander: Harry is clearly not all right in the head, which may be because he stared into the sun for an hour.
• Unexplained Recovery: After the real Harry Caray's death in 1998, one of his guests on Space, The Infinite Frontier asks him if he didn't die. He just answers, "Yes I did. What's your point?"

Alex Trebek

Played By Will Ferrell

The perpetually suffering host of Celebrity Jeopardy!.

• Driven to Suicide: In later editions of the sketch, he usually makes some remark about hating his job and contemplating putting a gun in his mouth.
• Straight Man: Unusually for a Will Ferrell character, Trebek is the normal one who has to react to the insane celebrities.
• Surrounded by Idiots: He is absolutely disgusted by the incompetence of the celebrities he has to deal with, and his loathing only gets worse with every episode.

Sean Connery

Played By Darrell Hammond

The most frequent contestant on Celebrity Jeopardy.

• Arch-Enemy: The guy who causes Trebek the most angst, and unlike his fellow celebrities, he seems to be doing it deliberately.
• Dirty Old Man: Starting with his "misreading" of "Let it snow."^note "Le tits now."
• Characterization Marches On: In the first edition of the sketch, he was just as stupid as the other contestants. He was soon rewritten to focus more on being an immature, dirty-minded troll.
• Large Ham: He peppers his speech with particularly dramatic phrases, such as "The day is mine!"
• Straight Man and Wise Guy: The wise guy to Trebek's Straight Man.
• Troll: It's clear that Connery could easily win the game if he wanted to, and all of his nonsense is done just to get a rise out of Trebek.
• Your Mom: He makes at least one joke about banging Trebek's mom each episode.

Burt Reynolds/"Turd Ferguson"

Played By Norm Macdonald

The second-most-frequent contestant on Celebrity Jeopardy.

• Characterization Marches On: Since the sketch was Norm Macdonald's idea, he originally wrote it so Burt would be Trebek's Arch-Enemy. However, when Norm was fired from SNL, Darrell Hammond's Sean Connery took his place, and his Burt Reynolds just became a particularly antagonistic guest.
• Cloudcuckoolander: Like all the celebrities on the show.
• Disco Dan: He is based on Reynolds circa 1972.
• Troll: Almost as bad as Connery, with the exception that he doesn't do it as often, and his antics aren't reserved for Trebek.

Azrael Abyss and Circe Nightshade

Played By Chris Kattan (Azrael) and Molly Shannon (Circe)

The hosts of Goth Talk, a public access television show aired in the Tampa Bay area.

• Big Brother Bully: Azrael's older brother Glen is a stereotypical Jerk Jock Frat Bro who torments him on camera.
• Butt-Monkey: Both of them get embarrassed during their shows, with Azrael suffering the most due to his older brother Glen frequently crashing the set.
• Darkness Von Gothick Name: Both of them have adopted goth names for themselves, but most people still call them by the real names.
• Do Not Call Me "Paul": Their real names are Todd and Stephanie and they hate when people refuse to call them by their goth names.
• Goth: Parodied. Their efforts to come across as dark and mysterious are constantly interrupted by things that remind the audience that they're really just dorky suburban teenagers.
• Paper Tiger: Despite their best efforts, no one is intimidated by their personas. In fact, Azrael frequently gets beat up by his brother and other bullies.
• Parody Commercial: They mention their fictional sponsor The Gloom Room.
  Circe Nightshade: Which reminds me, Goth Talk is sponsored by The Gloom Room, for all your Goth needs. It's an ooorrrrgyyyy of the macabre... right next to the Pizza Hut, on Hibiscus Road!
• Theme Tune: Goth Talk's theme song is Bella Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus.
• Wangst: invoked Most of their complaints about regular society amount to things like having to do chores or losing their retainer.

Leon Phelps aka "The Ladies Man"

Played by: Tim Meadows

A horny talk-show host who thinks he embodies what women want in a romantic partner.

• Chivalrous Pervert: He empathized with Monica Lewinsky as she was being shamed over her sexuality amid then-President Bill Clinton's affair with her.
• Disco Dan: He dresses in '70s fashion, complete with an afro.
• Trademark Favorite Food: He always has a glass of Courvoisier cognac on hand.

Sally O'Malley

Played by: Molly Shannon

An energetic 50-year-old woman who regularly auditions for jobs more suited for younger candidates.

• Character Catchphrase: "I like to kick, and stretch, and KICK! I'm 50!"
• The Determinator: She refuses to let her age get in her way of her physical feats, which is what ultimately wins people over.
• Disco Dan: She wears a 1970s-style red jumpsuit with her hair done in an afro.
• Not Allowed to Grow Old: Per her own admission, she's been 50 years old for decades.

Seasons 26- 30

Debbie Downer

Played by Rachel Dratch

• Aside Glance: She looks straight into the camera every time she drops some bad news.
• Bearer of Bad News: Pretty much every time she speaks.
• The Bore: Although in all honesty, if someone just feels bored after talking to her for any extended period of time, they should consider themselves lucky.
• Born Unlucky: Much, but not all, of her bad news is applicable directly to her.
• The Bus Came Back: In season 45 in 2020... just in time for the COVID19 pandemic.
• Determinator: She will not stop talking dire facts and depressing people to death, ever, no matter how much they beg her to stop.
• The Eeyore: She is depressed and dreary, all the time, every time. She is so dreary that she is infectious.
• The Friend Nobody Likes: She always gets on people's nerves with her depressing stories, but is always invited to gatherings.
• Hilariously Abusive Childhood: The few times Debbie has dropped a mention of her childhood, it was to give another dire fact about how much her life sucks.
• Hope Crusher: An unwitting example. Every one of her sketches have her walking up to someone who is feeling happy about some good thing that just happened to them and driving them to despair with her unceasing talk of bad news and worse personal experiences.
• The Killjoy: The central gag of Debbie as a character is how effective she is at destroying all of the joy in everyone she meets.
• Meaningful Name: Debbie Downer is a walking vortex of despair.
• Person as Verb: Meta example. Her name has become a nickname for people who are depressing killjoys.
• Santa Claus: Played by Jack Black, he appears in a sketch about a younger Debbie.
• Shared Family Quirks: According to an unaired sketch, she used to be a Cheerful Child, until her grandmother (Betty White) taught her to have a more dour outlook.
• Stock Sound Effects: An "uh oh" sound plays after every bit of bad news during her Aside Glance.

William Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzwilliam

Played by Jimmy Fallon (Patrick Fitzwillam) and Seth Meyers (William Fitzpatrick)

Hosts of the Irish morning talk show set in a pub, Top O' the Mornin.

• Character Catchphrase: "Save it!" (referring to the obvious joke about their names)
• Fighting Irish: They can have bouts of sudden violence, such as when Patrick Fitzwilliam socked William Fitzpatrick in the eye once for no reason, but more often it's aimed at the wall.
• Hair-Trigger Temper: It's more like hair-trigger any emotion. It's not just hair-trigger anger which will cause them to Punch a Wall, but also hair-trigger sadness that make them try not to cry.
• Punch a Wall: Every episode something will set them off and they will punch a wall. In fact they refer to the wall as their punching wall.
• Sentimental Drunk: Something will mentions something very mildly sad, and the pair will start Trying Not to Cry.
• Trying Not to Cry: At least once every sketch. Usually multiple times.

Colonel Angus

Played by Christopher Walken

An old carpetbagger who stops to stay the night at a plantation while heading down south.

• Anthropomorphic Personification: Colonel Angus is the personification of that special act of stimulating a woman's genitals with one's mouth.
• Artistic Licence – History:
  • Colonel Angus wears a Confederate army uniform, speaks in a Southern accent, and visits a plantation in the Antebellum South. Annabelle refers to him as a "carpetbagger," which is a Northerner who came south after the Civil War. (Possibly the writers just grabbed a bit of 19th-century slang and didn't check or care about its definition.)
  • He also seems to have fought in battles in the West, the majority of which occurred after the Civil War, at which point he shouldn't be wearing a Confederate uniform.
• Court-martialed: Offscreen; Colonel Angus was stripped of his rank, so you have to call him by his given name, Enol Angus.
• Hurricane of Puns: The whole sketch is puns on aspects of cunnilingus (or anallingus), either by or at Colonel Angus, including puns on his own name.
• Noodle Incident: The incident at Big Beaver.
• Visual Pun: Colonel Angus carries an actual bag made out of carpet.

Profs. Roger and Virginia Klarvin

Played by Will Ferrell and Rachel Dratch

A.k.a. the Love-Ahs. A sexually adventurous couple who frequently overshares their love life with anyone who has no choice but to listen.

• Accent Upon The Wrong Syllable: They love spending time in the hot tub with their colleagues and former roommates.
• Big Eater: There's usually a giant platter of meat somewhere near them, or a giant feast takes place in their stories.
• Carpet of Virility: Roger sports a huge tuft of fake chest hair.
• *Crack!* "Oh, My Back!": As a Running Gag, each of their sketches ends with the Klarvins getting frisky until something, usually Roger's back problems, leads to a huge Mood Whiplash.
  Roger: NOW GET THE HELL OFF ME!
• Erotic Eating: Parodied. They relishingly hand-feed each other various meat dishes and when retelling their erotic endeavors, always make sure to mention which types of animal grease were involved.
• Fan Disservice: They ruined the word "lover" for an entire generation.
• HA HA HA—No: Their default reaction when asked if a story or planned afternoon activity might not turn sexual for once.
• Hippie Teacher: Two university professors who look the part of a middle-aged hippie couple and preach and practice free outdoor love. According to Rachel Dratch, they were inspired by one of her college professors.
• Make-Out Kids: They regularly squick out their surroundings by being overtly physical with each other in public.
• Mills and Boon Prose: All over the place. The Klarvins' close friends talk like this as well.
• Smart People Speak the Queen's English: Being eccentric American academics, their diction is an odd mixture of lengthy, flowery phrasing and an odd posh accent that, according to Will Ferrell, was modelled after Madonna while she was trying to sound British in the early '00s.
• Three-Way Sex: Their sex stories usually involve a third or even fourth person, either one of their like-minded circle of friends or a complete random stranger.
• Too Much Information: Their whole shtick, though they keep it appropriate for network TV.
• Verbal Tic: Their speech has a tendency to devolve into random moans.

Seasons 30- 35

MacGruber

Played by Will Forte

The titular character of the sketches. Making life-saving inventions out of household materials; getting in and out of ultra sticky situations; the guy's a friggin genius.

Eventually got his own movie.

• The Bus Came Back: For season 47 in 2022. That's a whoppng 12 years.
• Comical Overreacting: Macgruber often overreacts to innocuous things other people do, like handing him an object. The innocuous thing is often something Macgruber had just asked them to do.
• Conspiracy Theorist: Played for laughs — when he returns in 2022 he's gone completely MAGA.
  "Have you ever heard of QAno-" (kaboom)
• Drama Queen: Macgruber takes just about everything, good or bad, as a personal attack.
• Explosive Stupidity: Every time. Played for Laughs.
• Informed Ability: We're told that he is great at getting out of sticky situations, but we never actually see it....
• Jerkass: He's racist, homophobic, stupid, incredibly arrogant, and in one sketch goes broke due to playing the stock market and turns to theft and drugs, even stealing from his own friends to get by. Its a wonder anybody wants to work with him.
  • Turned up to eleven in his Season 47 sketch, where he becomes a far-right wing conspiracy theorist who thinks average Americans believe in limited government, only men having a say in "my body, my choice" in terms of health and vaccinations, and supporting suppressing voting rights for non-white people.
• Luke, I Am Your Father: Macgruber at first seems like a straight parody of 80's hero MacGyver, but a later sketch pairs them together and MacGyver reveals that he is his father.
• Politically Incorrect Hero:
  • In one episode, after finding out his son, Merrill (played by Shia LaBeouf), was gay, he sent him a gay conversion camp and forces him to quote bible verses and talk about women.
  • Another episode has him dealing with working with a Black coworker named Darrel (played by Charles Barkley). In the first sketch, he uses questionable slang when addressing Darrel, whose name he continuously mispronounces, he starts to tell a questionable joke before the bomb explodes right before he could get to the racist punchline. In the second sketch, as he poorly attempts to be politically correct to Darrel when he asks for a literally black pen, as Darrel hands him the pen to use after being fed up with MacGruber's stupidity, he maces him with pepper spray, and does it again in the third sketch when it looked like they were about to make ammends.
  • In his most recent SNL episode, he becomes a far-right wing MAGA conspiracist who doesn't believe in Covid and vaccines, only believes in anarachist limited government, having "my body, my choice" only be applicable for men, and suppressing voting rights for non-White people, and also declares himself an Oath Keeper, which he is proud of being, also causing him to guess that it makes him part of the Proud Boys too.
• Product Placement: During one episode, Macgruber was sponsored by Pepsi, and, being Macgruber, he went all-in on the sponsorship, changing his name to Pepsuber and eventually not saying any words other than Pepsi (or Diet Pepsi).
• Stereotype Reaction Gag: Whenever there's a black, gay, Muslim, etc., person around, you can expect this.
• Time Bomb: A common sticky situation Macgruber finds himself in.

Nuni and Nuni Schoener

Played by Fred Armisen (Nuni "Dadu" Schoener) and Maya Rudolph (Nuni "Motha" Schoener)

An eccentric couple of vaguely European art dealers, who manage to blissfully confound everyone who visits their uniquely-furnished apartment.

• Affectionate Nickname: Their daughter, Nuni (played by Natalie Portman), refers to them as her "motha" and "dadu". On this page, entries referring to only one Schoener also do so, for clarity's sake.
• Bizarre Taste in Food: Some of the treats that the Schoeners' manservant, Tato (Chris Parnell), serve them and their guest include rice paste, meat capsules, and melted beat-and-caper ice cream.
• Color Motif: "Dadu" always wears purple suits.
• Cool Chair: Their "sitting room" always has some rare chairs, though Nuni and Nuni usually find them more comfortable than their guests do. The sketch pictured takes this literally, as "Motha" sits in an armchair made out of ice.
• Fashionable Asymmetry: "Motha"'s dresses each look sewn together from two different dresses.
• First-Name Basis: Nuni and Nuni prefer their visitors to call them by their first names, despite all the confusion that "Mr. and Mrs. Schoener" would save.
• Funny Foreigner: The Schoeners tend to mispronounce some words, including the name of their female visitor (often played by Rachel Dratch).
• Happily Married: Nuni and Nuni always seem to get along rather well.
• Planet of Steves: Nuni, Nuni, and their children, Nuni (Will Ferrell) and Nuni (Natalie Portman), all seem to have the same name, though apparently with subtle differences in pronunciation.^note "Motha" explains in the first sketch, "Nuni is masculine, and Nuni is feminine", though the sketches don't always seem consistent on this — especially since "Dadu" denies that his daughter is named after "Motha".
• Who's on First?: Confusion naturally ensues if the visitor accidentally uses the wrong pronunciation for the wrong Nuni.

Angie Tempura

Played by Michaela Watkins

Blogger of the notoriously snarkly website bitchpleeze.com, who visited Weekend Update a few times.

• Big, Stupid Doodoo-Head: In spite of Seth Meyers calling her website "notoriously snarky", most of Angie's insults are juvenile and silly.
• Book Dumb: Angie doesn't know the current president or where North America is, but is up on all the Hollywood gossip.
• Character Catchphrase: "Biiiitch Pleeeeze"

Stefon

Played by Bill Hader

A critic who makes regular reviews of New York's hottest new clubs on Weekend Update.

• Camp Gay: Stefon puts an Ed-Hardy-like chic on his campiness.
• Character Catchphrase: "This place has everything."
• Coolest Club Ever: Stefon parodies this trope on his Weekend Update appearances, listing New Yorks hottest clubs and their increasingly absurd attractions.
• Comically Missing the Point: He's usually brought on the show to suggest fun family destinations around New York. Oblivious to this, he proceeds to describe an increasingly bizarre series of fetisistic nightclubs.
  Seth Meyers: Stefon, not to belabor the point, but we were looking for some fun activities that a mom, a dad, a grandpa could enjoy. Umm, you instead took us on a tour of a coked-up gay Candy Land.
  Stefon: Accurate. That's accurate.
• Corpsing: Invoked. Most of Stefon's odd mannerisms are the result of Hader trying not to break out laughing. This is achieved by not giving him his real dialogue until he's on-camera and reading it off of his cue cards.
• Early-Installment Weirdness: Stefon's first appearance had him and his brother (played by Ben Affleck) as polar-opposite television producers.
• Happily Married: To Seth Meyers.
• Recurring Element: Midgets seem to come up a lot, unfortunately enough.
  "Sorry, I meant 'fun size'." (goes completely into meltdown)
• Vocal Dissonance: Every now and then Stefon's voice jumps into a completely different register just to pronounce a place name or Borrowed Catchphrase.

Vinny Vedecci

Played by Bill Hader

Host of the Italian talk show La Rivista Della Televisione, whose inept producers keep booking guests unable to speak Italian.

• Alliterative Name: Vinny Vedecci.
• As Himself: Vedecci's guest is often the episode's host playing themself.
• As Long as It Sounds Foreign: Hader speaks in Italian-sounding gibberish when portraying Vinny Vedecci, but he'll sometimes throw in the occasional Italian word.
• Cousin Oliver: When Bobby Moynihan joined the cast in season 34, he was cast as Vedecci's young son, who runs on set to ask the guest a question in English, and cries over the guest's failure to understand it.
• Europeans Are Kinky: At one point he plugs his own series of pornographic films.
• Meaningful Name: It sounds like "veni, vedi, veci", a nod to the popular belief that modern Italians were descended from the ancient Romans.
• Rambunctious Italian: He's generally very loud and hammy, especially when he argues with his producer (Fred Armisen).
• Smarmy Host: He can't seem to stop insulting his guests.

Penelope

Played by Kristen Wiig

A meek yet boastful woman who tries to become the life of every social gathering.

• Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better: She always tries to one-up other people at the gathering.
• Character Tics: She always plays with her hair.
• New Powers as the Plot Demands: She demonstrates several unusual skills, such as shrinking, changing color, or teleporting inside the TV.
• Real After All: The last unbelievable anecdotes Penelope gives in most of her sketches become revealed as such.
• Serial Escalation: The boasts she makes in the first sketch sound down-to-Earth in comparison to her later ones.
• Shared Family Quirks: Her relatives appear in a Thanksgiving Episode, also playing with their hair, and wearing Coordinated Clothes similar to hers.
• Verbal Tic: "So..."

Anthony Crispino

Played by Bobby Moynihan

Weekend Update's second-hand news correspondent, who relates all the news he heard second-hand from his contacts.

• Character Catchphrase: "You hear about this thing now?" in a squeaky falsetto.
• Character Tics: Crispino frequently looks over his shoulder.
• '80s Hair: He wears a mullet.
• Mondegreen Gag: The second-hand news Anthony Crispino relates is always amusingly different from the actual news, by someone (Crispino or his second-hand sources) mishearing the original story.
• Porn Stache: He sports a good one.
• Vocal Dissonance: Crispino can get into a pretty high register when the Weekend Update anchor second-guesses his second-hand news. One time he self-parodied this by singing like one of The Chipmunks.

Two Gay Guys From New Jersey

Played by: Bill Hader and Fred Armisen

A stereotypical pair of Jersey Guidos, who are also a gay couple.

• Straight Gay: Walking macho mobster stereotypes, who are also married.

Greg

Played by: Bill Hader.

Co-host of Game Time with Randy and Greg. Definitely not an alien.

• Suspiciously Specific Denial: Again, he is not an alien.

DeAndre Cole

Played by: Kenan Thompson

The host of "What Up With That?", a talk show airing on BET that "[takes] on the issues of the day with soul."

• Overly Long Gag: Basically the entire premise of the sketch. After Cole finishes singing the show's lengthy opening theme song, he sits down and attempts to introduce the day's topic...which causes him to launch into an encore of the theme song. When he finally gets around to introducing the show's three celebrity guests (two celebrities appearing as themselves, while the third is always Bill Hader as Fleetwood Mac guitarist Lindsey Buckingham), the first one manages to get just a few sentences out before something they say prompts Cole to interrupt them with yet another rendition of the theme song, this time featuring a non sequitur partway through (such as Mary Kay Letourneau and her student/lover or Bryan Cranston dancing in leopard-print underwear). Finally, Cole announces that they've run out of time, never getting to talk to either the second guest or Buckingham.

Seasons 36- 40

"Sex Ed" Vincent

Played by Paul Brittain

A sketchy "sex educator" who films infomercials for his seminars given in seedy hotels.

• Anatomically Impossible Sex: He doesn't really understand the ins and outs of sexual anatomy, especially when it comes to male/male intercourse. His idea of "safe homosexual sex" includes the head of one partner's penis pressing into the side of the other partner's penis, and that's just the beginning.
• Department of Redundancy Department: He introduces himself as a "sex education educator".
• Erotic Eating: One part of his seminar is on how to make food sexy, including putting two grapes between a hot dog, and putting two red lifesavers on a halved cantaloupe.
• Rattling Off Legal: He's required to read a disclaimer from the New York Department of Health saying that his seminars are for novelty purposes only, after which he openly disagrees.
• Sex Miseducation Class: Clearly, you shouldn't trust this guy to give you sexual advice.

Herb Welch

Played by Bill Hader

An elderly reporter for WXPD News New York. His advanced age and overall disrespectful nature make him rather unfit to continue his long career.

• Been There, Shaped History: Played for laughs with an old archive photo of Herb on the scene when Lee Harvey Oswald was shot by Jack Ruby, and still trying to get a word from one of them.
• Can't Take Criticism: Anytime the news anchors tell him to stay on topic and continue the story, he'll fling an insult at them under his breath.
• Deliberate Values Dissonance: Being born in 1920, Herb has shown some outdated beliefs, in one case saying a female news anchor should Stay in the Kitchen, much to the other anchor's disapproval, also with several not-so-nice comments about her and others ethnicity.
• No Celebrities Were Harmed: Herb Welch's appearance and character is loosely based off of reporter Dick Oliver and an on-air argument he had with anchor Jim Ryan over covering a story.
• Not Quite Dead: Played for Laughs. His sketches always end with the news anchor getting a notice that Herb died five seconds ago. Herb, seemingly unresponsive, quickly revives and goes back to attacking people with his microphone.
• Pet the Dog: Despite his behavior, some of the interviewees will end up taking his side over the anchors at the studio, out of equal parts respect and pity. And that's before he dies on them.
• Running Gag: He will always smack people with his microphone, to the point where he'll use another microphone he hid if they dodged the first one, to the point of reaching off-screen and hitting them from the opposite direction.
• Scatterbrained Senior: He often goes off-topic from whatever news story he's supposed to be covering, usually about events or people from past decades.
• Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior!: Herb seems to go out of his way to hit his interviewees with his microphone, and insults his coworkers whenever they tell him to stay on-topic.
• Shell-Shocked Veteran: One time he thinks he's broadcasting to the troops in the war, and another has him attack Principal Yee after hearing his name.
  "Bonzai, huh? Remember me?!" (starts hitting him with the microphone)

Jonathan Cavanaugh-san and Rebecca Stern-Markowitz-san

Played by Taran Killam and Vanessa Bayer

Two students at Michigan State University who host the campus access television program J-Pop America Fun Time Now, much to the dismay of their Japanese studies professor and faculty advisor (Jason Sudeikis).

• All Jews Are Ashkenazi: If Rebecca's surname is an indication.
• Anime Hair: Jonathan has spiky Shonen Hair, while Rebecca has twintails.
• Book Dumb: In one sketch, their professor says they are the worst and loudest students in his class.
• Genki Girl: Their general demeanor while hosting the show. They dance hyperactively to the theme song, and often announce their guests in an excited tone of voice.
• Gratuitous Japanese: Almost always used incorrectly. To name just one example, you don't use "-san" when referring to yourself.
• Occidental Otaku: About as stereotypical as you could get. They attach Japanese Honorifics to their very non-Japanese names, address their professor as "sensei", and speak in exaggerated Japanese accents, to the point where the professor calls it "a loving form of racism".
• Some of My Best Friends Are X: Whenever their professor accuses them of being racist, Jonathan rebuts by mentioning his Japanese girlfriend^note played by Fred Armisen, whose grandfather was a Zainichi Korean, who is usually sitting in the corner of the studio.
• Yellow Fever: Jonathan states that his passion for Japanese culture started after he met his girlfriend, yet he emphasizes that she is Japanese on every occasion. Played straight with guest Martin (Jonah Hill), who asks him for tips on how to attract a Japanese girlfriend.

The Californians

Main characters played by Fred Armisen (Stuart), Bill Hader (Devin), Kristen Wiig (Karina), Kenan Thompson (Trey), and Vanessa Bayer (Rosa).

A soap opera based in California, in the hills south of Ventura Boulevard in Los Angeles to be specific.^note You take the 101 to Laurel Canyon Boulevard, make a right at Ventura, then a left at Coldwater Canyon.

• Character Catchphrase: Stuart: "Devin? What are you doing here?"
• First Law of Resurrection: Karina was said to have died in a car accident, but appeared in a later sketch to say she wasn't dead. Happened to several one-off characters as well. (This is a soap opera, after all.)
• Reaction Shot: After a major revelation, they show a sequence of reaction close-ups of every character on stage.
• Shown Their Work: The directions the characters give are all realistic.
• Surfer Dude: Trey, the character played by Kenan Thompson who always shows up in the third segment.
• Truth in Television: Though the sketches exaggerate it, telling people how you got somewhere is something people who live in Los Angeles do a lot. Especially if you managed to avoid traffic.
• Valley Girl:
  • Most of the characters, especially Karina. (Although the exaggerated accent they use is more like a Malibu surfer accent than a Valley accent.)
  • Averted when Rosa's long lost son, played by Pete Davidson, shows up and wonders what accent everyone is speaking.

Principal Daniel Frye

Played by Jay Pharoah

The principal of Booker T. Washington High School, who often interrupts school events to make announcements about various shenanigans at the events.

• Character Catchphrase: "ATTENTION TEACHERS AND STUDENTS!"
• Intoxication Ensues: A few of his announcements involve someone drinking a spiked substance, and the antics that ensue.
• Making Love in All the Wrong Places: Frye has called out students making out in a bounce house and a Mufasa costume. He even mentions in one sketch that this just happened to the school's mascot, a live horse.
• Sexy Whatever Outfit: During the school's Halloween party, he calls out a student wearing a topless "African princess" costume, as well as another one who is easily mistaken for an actual baboon because they cut out the butt of the baboon costume and painted their buttocks red.
• Speech Impediment: He often wheezes and stutters when he speaks, possibly as a result of being out of breath.
• Surrounded by Idiots: Principal Frye and the other staff members making the announcements seem exhausted at all the trouble their students get into.

Niff and Dana

Played by Bobby Moynihan and Cecily Strong, respectively

A duo of co-worker friends who always think they're about to get fired when a supervisor gets all employees together for a meeting and go off on loud, angry, long-winded rants pointing out the annoying flaws of every co-worker no matter how seemingly frivolous.

• Bait-and-Switch Comment: During the firing from Barnes & Noble, they tell PJ to quit acting like a sadsack, with Niff pointing out that he's got a big dick and should act like it.
• Brutal Honesty: They let out to the other co-workers about how they truly feel about them during their rants.
• Character Catchphrase: "...Bitch" or variations thereof.
• Everyone Has Standards: If they genuinely feel sorry for someone (or some information comes out, like the person being a burn victim), they'll just skip to the next person. They also don't take offense when the others aren't willing to forgive them for their hurtful comments.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Once the one who's actually getting fired is revealed, Dana and Niff immediately mellow out and regret their overreactions.
• Satellite Character: As weird as they are, two even weirder characters tend to follow them to each new job — Carl (Tim Robinson), the one actually getting fired, and Andrew (Taran Killam), who's Obviously Evil.
• "The Reason You Suck" Speech: They give these to every employee who irked them though it's, arguably, inverted at times.
• Take This Job and Shove It: How their rants come off.
• Those Two Guys: Always together at the various jobs they worked at (McDonalds, Best Buy, Barnes & Noble, etc.).
• Who Names Their Kid "Dude"?: Niff "as in Kenniff".

Drunk Uncle

Played by Bobby Moynihan

A commentator who appears on Weekend Update completely sloshed, like some uncles you've probably had.

• The Alcoholic: As per the name, he usually shows up with a drink in hand and is always too wasted to have a coherent thought.
• Blowing a Raspberry: Drunk Uncle makes raspberry noises when talking about kids today.
• Drowning My Sorrows: Drunk Uncle starts crying at some point during every appearance, then launches into a rant about how he didn't accomplish much in life.
• A Glass in the Hand: Drunk Uncle crushed his whiskey glass when Colin Jost asked him about Hillary Clinton.
• Malaproper: Drunk Uncle mixes up all the current popular jargon that kids today use.
  "Can I light an e-cig with my bitcoins, please?"
  "Excuse me, is this pommegranite juice gender-fluid?"
• Racist Grandma: A male, middle-aged to early elderly uncle version. His interactions with Michael Che and his comments about minorities and other social issues show him to be very bigoted.
• Russian Roulette: On Bobby Moynihan's last show, Drunk Uncle asked Colin Jost to do one shot with him, then pulled out a revolver with five bullets and one empty chamber.
• When I Was Your Age...: Drunk Uncle rants about kids today.

The Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started a Conversation with at a Party

Played by Cecily Strong

A regular Weekend Update guest who shares her unique opinions about current world issues.

• Brainless Beauty: She is very beautiful but showcases little common sense and acts like she knows everything.
• Character Catchphrase: "'Xactly..."
• Cloud Cuckoolander: Most of the tangents she goes on are self-contradictory at best and just plain surreal at worst. She also gets random impulses to do inappropriate things like sing a Negro spiritual or stick her hand in the host's face.
• The Ghost: She usually ends by yelling at one of her friends somewhere out of frame (and not always the same one).
• Know-Nothing Know-It-All: She talks a lot about topics she barely has a grasp on to the chagrin of anyone who she talks to.
• Malaproper: Has trouble with big words, leading to phrases like "tragesty" and "reprehendible."
• No Name Given: Especially jarring when Special Guest Reese Witherspoon appears as a carbon copy of her, but gets a proper name (Mackenzie).
• Non Sequitur: Pretty much every train of thought she has begins and ends completely irrespective of the surrounding conversation.
• Soapbox Sadie: Parodied. She preaches about social issues like poverty and bigotry, but clearly has no idea what she's talking about^note Some examples: "There are homeless people out there who can't even pay their mortgages." "For every four men, there are two women." "Why can't Secret Santa just be openly gay?" and is just trying to assert her authority over the host. Even stranger is that she brags about using blackface for Halloween (but insists it should be called "African-American face" and claims Seth is "reverse racist" for not letting her do a minstrel show.
• Too Dumb to Live: During the COVID-19 pandemic she shows up at the news screaming for Michael Che to let her put her hands in his mouth and reveals that she has the highly infectious and deadly virus but still decided to appear and attend parties when she should have been quarantined.
• Valley Girl: Non-intellectual, super feminine, and has a high-nasally voice that puts emphasis on certain words.

Ex-Porn Stars

Played by Vanessa Bayer (Brecky) and Cecily Strong (the other one)

Two seemingly-drug-addled former porn stars who make advertisements for expensive products hoping they'll get free stuff.

• Bad "Bad Acting": They deliver their lines in a sensual monotone and frequently mispronounce their names.
• Extreme Omnisexual: The two have had sex with gerbils, seals, corpses, ....
• I Love the Dead: Brecky tried to have sex with a quiet guy who turned out to be a corpse.
• Malaproper:
  • Innocent words and phrases often come out sounding very dirty.
  • They also never get the name of the product correct.
• No Name Given: Cecily Strong's character is never named in their ads, and at least once claims to be in witness protection.
• Really Gets Around: Even for ex-porn-stars, they have had a lot of sex all over the place.
• Strictly Formula: All of their ads follow a rigid structure (they endorse a product but consistently get the name wrong, veer way off-topic into discussing past sexual exploits, the guest host plays another porn vet who tries to interrupt, finally does, and refers to the product with an entirely different malapropism).

Sheila Sauvage

Played by Kate McKinnon

If you're ever at a singles' bar at the point of Last Call, you may encounter Sheila Sauvage... and you might not regret it. Yet.

• Beauty Inversion: Kate McKinnon is beautiful. Sheila Sauvage is... not.
• Brain Bleach: Pity the bartender of the singles' bar at closing time.
• Fan Disservice: A lot of people would pay good money to see Kate Mckinnon making out with anyone. Don't worry, they'll regret it as much as you will.
• Lady Drunk: By her very nature.
• Noodle Implements: For some reason there'll be stuff like cling wrap and those dental things to hold your lips open close at hand.

Morgan and Kyra

Played by Aidy Bryant (Morgan) and Cecily Strong (Kyra)

The hosts of Girlfriends Talk Show, a low-budget affair where all the guests are people from the girls' school or families, etc. Unlike most recurring duos from SNL, Morgan and Kyra are very different from each other, so we make separate lists of tropes for them.

Morgan

• Beware the Nice Ones: Morgan tries to be nice all the time, but push her too far and she can get feisty.
  Morgan: No, you should be called Roach Warehouse!
• Butt-Monkey: Whether it's getting shafted by an oblivious Kyra or her own fault.
• Pet the Dog: Just as Morgan might be at her lowest yet, she gets a surprise visit... from One Direction!

Kyra

• Brainless Beauty: She is very beautiful and popular, but rather showcases a lack of social awareness and sensitivity and says "Awesome!" regardless of the context of that happened or she was told.
• Character Catchphrase:
  • "Awesome!", regardless of (and sometimes in spite of) context.
  • "My boyfriend's crazy!", after a lengthy and rather disturbing tale about what her boyfriend did.
• Erotic Eating: Implied. She frequently talks about how her considerably older boyfriend likes to watch her eat things from afar.
• Innocently Insensitive: She seems utterly clueless about how overslaughing and publicly embarrassing Morgan hurts her.
• May–December Romance: She's in her teens, and her 'boyfriend' graduated in the '70s, making him about 60.
• With Friends Like These...: She shows no affection or regard for Morgan, even letting her other friends bully Morgan in front of her.

Olya Povlatsky

Played by Kate McKinnon

A regular guest commentator on Weekend Update, Olya hails from a remote and desolate village somewhere in Russia — and that's putting it nicely.

• Death Seeker: As a result of living in a Place Worse Than Death.
• Pop-Culture Isolation: To a far greater extent that the bulk of Russia, which adds up to something like 20 years behind the rest of the world.
• Russian Guy Suffers Most: She's still technically the hottest girl in her village, but still.
• Younger Than They Look: In her appearance in season 38 she claims to be 18. She looks like someone's grandma.

Willie

Played by Kenan Thompson

An upbeat commentator on Weekend Update who comes by to try to cheer the anchors up, but only ends up depressing them because of his awful life.

• Character Catchphrase: "It's like they always say....", inevitably followed by something horrible.
• Chew Toy: Willie's a magnet for bad things happening. Also, Willie's old dog Lucius (though Lucius had enough self-respect to attempt to escape sometimes).
• I Cannot Self-Terminate: Willie occasionally tells stories of him trying to trick people into putting him down.
• I'm a Humanitarian: Back when he worked for old man Jeff Dahmer; not the most glamourous job but at least he got a free home-cooked meal out of it.
• I Love the Dead: "It's like they always say: sex dolls don't have toe tags, Willie."
• Perpetual Smiler: Despite his awful life, Willie doesn't stop smiling.
• The Pollyanna

Shallon

"I sacrifice myself for you, Santa!"

Played by Nasim Pedrad

Ten-year old girl whose class is visited by a variety of adult speakers giving safety lessons.

• Adults Are Useless: Shallon makes mincemeat of well-meaning adults trying to teach her class about safety.
• Ambiguous Innocence: It's never quite clear if Shallon really is as clueless as she lets on or if she is fully aware of what she is doing and is simply trolling the speakers, though either way she certainly is responsible for leading the rest of the class on.
• Comically Missing the Point: Shallon and her classmates always miss the point the adult is trying to say. In fact they usually get it completely reversed.
• Disappeared Dad: Shallon claims she has never met her father. Doesn't stop her from rationalizing talking to strangers because they might be her dad's friends.
• Insane Troll Logic: Shallon takes anything an adult says and twists it nearly to its opposite meaning, or to something completely unrelated. Her classmates also do that, to a lesser extent. For example, after being warned not to talk to strangers:
  Shallon: Okay, so then you go, "What's your name?" "I'm Shallon." "Where you from?" "I'm from Orange County." Everything checks out, then hop in that van and get that candy.

Miss Meadows

Played by Vanessa Bayer

A poetry specialist from the Newbery Writing Workshop who is a substitute teacher in inner city classrooms.

• Character Tics: She makes a sound like a yipping sea lion whenever she gets excited (which is a lot).
• Genki Girl: Is really enthusiastic about poetry.
• Hippie Teacher: Long wavy hair, flower dress, turquoise necklace. Yep, she's a hippie.
• Teacher/Student Romance: One sketch has Miley Cyrus making a pass at her, another sketch has Drake. They both get Miss Meadows worked up, for different reasons.
• Token Adult: She tells her inner-city classes that she used to be just like them.

Jebidiah Atkinson

Played by Taran Killam

Speech critic for the Patriot and Union who wrote a negative review of Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, who vists Weekend Update to read his reviews. It turns out Jebidiah has been a critic for quite a long time, but for some reason he dresses like it's the early 1800's.

• Blatant Lies: He keeps insisting that his critiques are fair and open-minded, just before tearing everything to shreds.
• Character Catchphrase: "Next!"
  • To a lesser extent, "I haven't liked ANY (form of media) EVER!!"
• Flowery Insults: Jebidiah gets very creative with all his insults.
• Immortality: Jebidiah was witness to the Sermon on the Mount, so he's been around for a long time.
• Noodle Incident: "Tommy, you know who you are."^note Taran ad-libbed this line after accidentally mispronouncing Tony (as in Tony awards) as Tommy.
• Pet the Dog: One Weekend Update actually ends with Jebidiah quickly yelling "Go see The LEGO Movie, it's adorable!"^note Taran's wife Cobie Smulders happens to star in the movie.
• Self-Deprecating: Jebidiah's review of Saturday Night Live: "The same tired characters doing the same tired catch phrases. Next!"

Barbara DeDrew

Played by Kate McKinnon

Proprietor of the cat shelter Whiskers 'R We, who periodically puts out ads for cat adopt-a-thons.

• Accidental Pervert: Barbara's girlfriends all grope her under the (extremely thin) guise of petting the cat she's holding. Barabara will inform them of the truth and add, "and I think you know that."
• Author Appeal: That these skits enable noted cat-lover Kate McKinnon to hug and pet various adorable little cats in the process of doing her job is surely just a coincidence.
• Crazy Cat Lady: Barbara's girlfriends have all changed their names to have feline characteristics. Barbara herself is not as crazy.
  • Averted by Cat Muller (played by Charlize Theron) who admits she was just pretending to be interested in cats.
• Girl of the Week: Barbara has a new girlfriend every sketch.
• Long-Lost Relative: An intern Barbara hires (Paw-drey Hep-purrn, played by Billie Eilish) turns out to be Barbara's frozen-egg daughter. (Probably.)
• Sliding Scale of Anthropomorphism: Barbara credits the cats she's selling with some of the worst human sentient behaviors, including megalomania and kidnapping, as well as some more mundane ones like co-dependency. The cats themselves, however, are perfectly normal cats.
• Stalker with a Crush: While Barbara herself just wants to find homes for the rather eccentric and disturbed cats under her care, Barbara's girlfriends/co-workers all seem very fixated on her, to rather alarming and unhealthy degrees at times.

The one-dimensional female character of a male-driven comedy

Played by Cecily Strong

Colin Jost sometimes interviews her on Weekend Update.

• Advertised Extra: In one sketch, she reveals that she has the least amount of lines in the comedy, despite her name appearing in the title: Bagging Heather.
• Genre Savvy: She seems well-versed in the clichés of her genre.
• The Glasses Gotta Go: She outright admits that her beauty seems more noticeable without her glasses.
• Last-Name Basis: She calls Colin Jost by his last name.
• Ms. Fanservice: She calls herself the embodiment of male fantasies of a girl who has masculine interests, but still looks hot. Pretty confusing, huh?
• Only One Name: Her first name is given Heather. She probably doesn't even have a last name.
• Satellite Love Interest: Sometimes she shows up just to enter a hasty hookup with Jost.
• Sequel Non-Entity: She reveals that when the sequel to the comedy rolls around, it'll be like she never existed.
• The Stoic: She can't show too much emotion in her face and voice, or else she'll lose her sex appeal, and just become a nag.

Reese de'What

Played by Kenan Thompson

The host of Cinema Classics, Reese often presents little-known movies or deleted scenes from known ones, though he may be working through some issues of his own.

• Awful Wedded Life: Implied, though, he's probably not doing himself any favors by repeatedly being insensitive towards his wife, such as saying she's fat, among other things.
• Episode Discussion Scene: Reece introduces (and sometimes also interludes) a scene from an old classic movie.
• Mad Libs Catchphrase: One of the most elaborate ones to date.
  "It was asked, "Why X?" But do not ask me. I am not a good guesser. Just ask my wife. One time she asked me (fairly important question) and I answered (fairly insensitive answer). Worst (special occasion) EVER."

Totinos Wife

What about my hungry guys?

Played by Vanessa Bayer

An unnamed wife that only cares about feeding her husband and his friends Totino's pizza rolls.

• Ambiguously Bi: In the sense that there is serious doubt that she is attracted to men at all. She immediately falls in love with Sabine and comments that she has "awoken her".
• Bland-Name Product: She frequently reminds viewers to prepare plenty of pizza rolls for "The Big Game".
• Character Catchphrase: Any variation on feeding her "hungry guys".
• Domestic Abuse: Her husband only seems to view her as a talking Totino's dispenser, and snaps at her when she points out she has nothing else to do. She visibly flinches when the guys celebrate loudly.
• Extreme Doormat: She apparently usually just sits in her kitchen, waiting to make more Totino's pizza rolls.
• Genre Shift: Her second commercial turns into an X-Files teaser, with her hungry guys being possessed by some paranormal force. Her third commercial turns into a French love drama with Kristen Stewart.
• Les Yay: As mentioned, she falls in love and has an entire affair with Sabine. On her kitchen. An open kitchen just behind her husband and his friends.
• Never Given a Name: She tells Sabine that she never had a name.
• Obsessed with Food: Her entire world seems to revolve around Totino's. She even calls Sabine her Totino.
• Offscreen Breakup: In between the first two commercials, she and the hungry guy played by J. K. Simmons divorced, then she married Steve, the hungry guy played by Beck Bennett.
• Stay in the Kitchen: So she can cook more Totino's at a moment's notice, of course.
• Stepford Smiler: Her smile is never quite genuine. She drops it when she meets Sabine.
• Womanchild: In her first skit, she seems to be engrossed in the toddler's Activity Pack her husband gave her and even proudly shows him a connect-the-dots bee she drew.

Gemma

Played by Cecily Strong

A British aspiring singer who is always dating the current host's character and keeps having awkward run-ins with Gene (Kenan Thompson) and his girlfriend.

• British Teeth: Depending on the sketch, she sports a set of crooked teeth and a light overbite.
• Character Catchphrase: "I'm Gemma. I'm Bri'ish."
• The Ditz: Brightness isn't her strength.
• Has a Type: Her partners are mostly disturbingly outspoken Tall, Dark, and Handsome men who are obsessed with her accent and delusional about her musical talent.
• Hollywood Tone-Deaf: Let's just say Cecily tones down her singing abilites a lot. Occasionally, Gemma also adds a little rap in.
• Stripperific: Her outfits are usually quite revealing.
• Too Much Information: She likes to open conversations with details about her intimate grooming.

Seasons 41- 45

Colleen Rafferty

Played by Kate McKinnon

A woman from rural America (probably Appalachia based on the accents) who, along with other people from her town, has some unlikely experiences, and lives to share her very different experence from her townmates' with investigators. It quickly becomes clear that Ms. Rafferty's experiences were a lot more unpleasant than those of her companions.

• Alien Abduction: Her first sketch has her and her friends Sharon (Cecily Strong) and Todd (Ryan Gosling), recount to the CIA what happened after aliens abducted them. This happened to them again by the next time Gosling hosted SNL. By the time of Kate's final episode she's been abducted a third time, and then volunteers to go with them permanently.
• Back from the Dead: Her second sketch has her, Sharon, and an unnamed friend played by Brie Larson, describe to the American Medical Association when they took a glimpse of the afterlife, after a car crash, then had their souls returned to their mortal bodies.
• Big "WHAT?!": Ms. Rafferty exclaims this whenever Sharon and their other friend describe a beautiful sight that they witnessed, but she missed.
• Boob-Based Gag: Ms. Rafferty claims that her guides for all of these misadventures like to play with her boobs, and re-enacts this on an unwilling Sharon.
• Butt-Monkey: Ms. Rafferty always has a more miserable experience than Sharon and their other friend do.
• The Chew Toy: While both her friends were lowered from the UFO gently with a tractor beam, she gets dumped by the roadside. At least it was over quickly.
• I Choose to Stay: In Kate's final episode, the Aliens cut a deal for providing the Pentagon with technology in exchange for an abductee permanently living with them. Colleen volunteers immediately.
  Colleen: Sure, why not? I've always kinda felt like an alien on this planet anyway.
• Leaning on the Fourth Wall: Ms. Rafferty's first line of her second appearance admits that her story is a "similar concept...different execution." (In context, she refers to when the Guardian Angels of her and her friends took their souls out of their seemingly-dying bodies.)
• Mad Libs Catchphrase: She always has some segue into pointing out that her experiences were vastly different from Sharon and her friends'.
• Naked People Are Funny: Well, pantsless anyway, as she always loses them somehow during her misadventures.
• Santa Claus: Her friends got to visit Santa Claus, but Ms. Rafferty had to settle for the lesser-known Santa-Claus-wannabe Krinklemaus taking her on a trip to the stables.
• Seen It All: Ms. Rafferty insists that each of her unpleasant misadventures doesn't actually represent the worst experience for her.
• Smoking Is Not Cool: Ms. Rafferty always smokes cigarettes during her interviews.
• Time Travel: While her friends got pulled through a time portal to a utopian future she went through the wrong side and wound up in the stone age.
• Unfinished Business: Season 44. Mrs Rafferty and her two friends are visited by ghosts that need them to do something for them. Theirs were to fulfill lifelong ambitions or make peace with loved ones — hers was to enact petty vengeance on the ghost's ex-girlfriend by dropping an "upper-decker" in her toilet.
• Unusual Euphemism: Ms. Rafferty has a tendency to lose her pants, then refer to her privates with an original term during the interview.
• Weirdness Magnet: Both Ms. Rafferty and Sharon, enough that it affects an additional friend each time. Ms. Rafferty in particular takes it up to eleven — when they bring the Alien Abduction skit back in season 43, it's all but stated that the exact same aliens are at it.
  "I see those big fat gray aliens with the same stupid eyes, and I'm hit with the realization — it was my first second date since 2009!"
• Younger Than They Look: In the Paranormal sketch, she states she's only 27 years old and one of the researchers has a brief outburst to this effect.

Chad

Played by Pete Davidson

A typical millennial college jock type, who's so mentally and emotionally detached that everyone around him seems to know more about what he's done than he himself.

• Adam Westing: As an apathetic millennial with mental problems and a simple sense of humor who somehow keeps attracting women way out of his league, he shares a lot with Pete Davidson's public image.
• But for Me, It Was Tuesday: Subverted — even with the psycho killer right in front of him, it's clear he has no idea which day.
• Character Catchphrase: "Okay." Usually accompanied by a slight nod of acquiescence: no matter what anyone says or does to Chad, he's as likely to respond with "Okay" as with anything else. It becomes almost Zen-like.
  • Averted when his philosophy professor leans in to kiss him: Chad leans back and says "No thanks" in exactly the same tone of voice that he usually says "Okay". When the professor humbly apologises, Chad replies "Okay." When the professor then loses it and throws a globe against the wall in a fit of rage, Chad says in his usual tone of voice "Oh no, your globe."
  • In the Season 46 sketch where Adele plays a ghost in a haunted mansion, she lifts her necklace to show the horrific bloody wound in her neck where her husband killed her. Chad says in his usual tone of voice "Oh no, your neck."
• Chick Magnet: From a housewife to a doctor to J. Lo to an Armored Closet Gay professor.
• Formula-Breaking Episode:
  • After sketches about affairs with people he shouldn't, season 44 has one about a psycho killer out to get him instead.
  • Season 45 has guest host Ru Paul As Himself, who has his eye on Chad... for a protege.
  • In season 46, guest host Adele is a Winchester-type ghost who just needs Chad to settle her Unfinished Business. Unfortunately, an accident with a coat-of-arms ends with Chad killed.
• Gag Penis: When he wanders into Ru Paul’s Drag Race he gets a little confused on which direction to tuck, Paul is impressed by his size but tells him to redo it anyways.
• Heh Heh, You Said "X": He snickers briefly whenever anyone uses a word that has a sexual connotation.
• Jabba Table Manners: In the psycho killer sketch, the pizza he's eating is all over the floor before he's finished one slice.
• Like Father, Like Son: It's revealed in a later episode that his father, Brad (played by Adam Sandler), who died before Chad was born, is almost exactly like Chad. In the Mars mission skech, Chad would meet the exact same fate (apart from the space thing).
• Kavorka Man: His sketches often involve attractive high-status characters falling head over heels for him, like fantasy realm queens, a professor being played by Benedict Cumberbatch, and even Jennifer Lopez herself. Showcased at the auction, in which the auctioneer starts bidding at $50.
  Auctioneer: I feel like I'm in the Upside Down right now. Chad's Grinch impression took us to 700 grand.
• Mistaken for Profound: People tend to interpret his oblivious non-responses as whatever they need to hear at that point.
• Naked People Are Funny: If a woman so much as drops a hint she wants to sleep with him, he strips down in record time.
• No Social Skills: Do not tell Chad that he's free to leave a conversation if he wants to, because he will.
• Obliviously Evil: In the crazed killer sketch, Chad draws the ire of a former classmate whom he apparently bullied. He accuses Chad of calling him names and of sleeping with his girlfriend, sister, and mother. You get the sense that, based on his reactions, Chad genuinely had no idea that he was hurting this guy's feelings. He even apologizes for it in his typical, detached manner.
  Oh, my bad.
• The Pig-Pen: In the psycho killer sketch, he's turned the living room into an unsafe dump in one night.
• Really Gets Around: From an affair with a housewife he's been cleaning the pool for, to potentially dozens of college girls. And according to the psycho killer sketch, the girl's sister and mother!
• Someone to Remember Him By: In the Mars mission sketch he's been having an affair with another astronaut played by Miley Cyrus, who reveals that she's now carrying his baby — which makes him head out the airlock faster.
• They Killed Kenny Again: So far he has gotten himself killed in two sketches, with no sign he won't show up again.
• This Loser Is You: The general premise.
• Unfazed Everyman: Deconstructed. Chad is unfazed by everything, to the point where it looks like there's something very, very wrong with him.
• Your Head Asplode: On his Mars mission he takes his helmet off, which quickly turns his head into red goo.

Krissy Knox

Played by Emma Stone

A pin-up model who appears on a poster in the room of a boy named Sean who struggles with schoolwork. She appears to him in his dreams (alongside the people from Sean's other posters) to help him with his schoolwork, sort of. Later her twin-sister Brandi Knox also appears.

• Brainless Beauty: She is a beautiful woman who was voted into Maxim's Top 50 but she is often very idiotic.
• Dumb Blonde: She's obviously not too bright.
• Jabba Table Manners: We don't see it, but she talks a whole lot about sloppily eating nasty gross hot dogs.
• Overly Narrow Superlative: Krissy is one of Maxim's Top 50 Girls from Rural Areas.
• Simpleton Voice: She speaks with a high, nasally voice.
• Suspiciously Similar Substitute/Backup Twin: One time Sean decided that Krissy was being too distracting, so he tore down her poster, only to reveal the poster of her twin sister Brandi Knox, also played by Emma Stone, who acts exactly the same as Krissy but is a redhead.
• The Tease: She pretty much ignores the other posters who are trying to help Sean with his homework, and just tries to titillate him by being gross.

Guy who Just Bought a Boat

Played by Alex Moffat

A guy who just bought a boat, who appears on Week-Up to give dating advi (that's "advice")^note :and has a small penis..

• Cool Shades: He wears sunglasses on his brow. The intention is to make him look cool....
• Compensating for Something: He often goes on about his privileges before bluntly stating (often with an Unusual Euphemism) that his penis is small.
• Facepalm: Colin Jost does this often because the puns are so bad.
• Hollywood Mid-life Crise (that's "Crisis"): He's probably having a mid-life crisis (or maybe he's just like that).
• Hurricane of Puns: He's constantly making a whole bunch of bad puns, often playing of Colin Jost's name.
• Non Sequite (that's "Sequitur"): He will suddenly throw in comments about how small his penis is or how bad in bed he is.
• Small Name, Big Ego: Guy who Just Bought a Boat thinks he's too cool to use all the syllables in a word, and that he knows all the ways to get the lades (that's "ladies"), but he's basically just some guy who bought a boat.

David S. Pumpkins

Played by Tom Hanks

A made-up Halloween character in a pumpkin party suit, who's the main attraction in a "100 Floors of Frights" elevator ride.

David S. Pumpkins eventually got his own Halloween special.

• Always Someone Better: Dave Chappelle apparently sees him as this, when admitting that a giant wig alone couldn't make one of his characters (Dante, a big-afroed employee of the diner Jheri's Place) "...the next David S. Pumpkins."
• Animated Adaptation: The David S. Pumpkins Halloween Special.
• Character Catchphrase: "Any questions?"
• Deconstruction: David Pumpkins can be seen as a deconstruction of Halloween monsters, which are often more cliche than scary these days.
• Faux Horrific: David Pumpkins says he's going to "scare the hell out of you", but all he does is confuse the people on the ride.
• Jump Scare: He finally gets a scream out of the passengers when he appears behind them, inside the elevator, and startles them with his catchphrase.
• Mysterious Middle Initial:
  David Pumpkins: What's my name?
  Skeletons: David S. Pumpkins!
  David Pumpkins: Any questions?
  Beck: Yes! Several!
  • However, co-creator Bobby Moynihan revealed in an interview that the S stands for Simon, "for no reason whatsoever."
• Non-Answer: Never gives a helpful answer when asked about who he is.
  Andrew Dismukes: David Pumpkins from...?
  David S. Pumpkins: Before!
• Overused Running Gag: Discussed (more like Complained About) after David Pumpkins kept appearing in the "100 Floors of Frights" ride.
  Beck: "Why did you go all-in on David Pumpkins?"
  Elevator guy: "Look, it's 100 Floors of Frights, they're not all gonna be winners."
• Suddenly Ethnicity: In his return, he claims to be from Ibiza, a Spanish island.
  David S. Pumpkins: "¿Preguntas?"^note Questions?
  Andrew Dismukes: "¡Si, mucho preguntas!"^note Yes, many questions!
• Those Two Guys: David Pumpkins' dancing skeleton sidekicks.
  Beck: And the skeletons are...?
  Skeletons: Part of it!
  • From their return in 2022:
  Andrew Dismukes: And the skeletons are...?
  —>Skeletons: Next to him!

Woman from Dirty Talk

Played by Melissa Villaseñor

A woman in a dull relationship who tries to talk dirty in the bedroom as a way to spice things up.

• Bow Chicka Wow Wow: The music starts playing whenever they start talking dirty, and inevitably stops very quickly....
• Comically Missing the Point: Everything she says misses the point of dirty talk entirely.
• Dead Sparks: They have sex on a schedule one per week. It should be noted that it doesn't seem to affect her interest in sex much, at least not once reminded what day it is.
• Instant Turn-Off: She instantly turns off her boyfriend with her odd way of talking dirty.
• Literal-Minded: When her boyfriend called her a little freak, she did an impression of Elephant Man.
• No Name Given: Her boyfriends just call her a pet name.

Mrs. Gomez

"Oh no!"

Played by Melissa Villaseñor

A woman on her deathbed who has some very important last words for her children.

• Cool Old Lady: She had a heart attack when she fell into a mosh pit at a Nickelback concert.^note We'll benevolently count Nickelback as cool
• Dying Moment of Awesome: She dies while she, her children, the medics, and some kind of adopted son or protogé played by Sterling K. Brown all sing a rousing rendition of "How You Remind Me".
• Hollywood Heart Attack: At the end of the Nickelback song she has another heart attack, screams, "Oh no!", and dies instantly.
• Magical Defibrillator: She faints in the middle of the Nickelback song and the medics come in and jolt her suddenly awake (in perfect time with the song) with defibrilators.

Angel: Every boxer's girlfriend from every movie about boxing ever

Played by Heidi Gardner

A woman who appears on weekend update to share opinions on the news, who has a lot of emotional baggage from her relationship with every movie boxer ever.

Heidi Gardner said that the idea for Angel came from her realisation that Rachel McAdams in Southpaw was speaking the same dialogue as Amy Adams in The Fighter.

• Character Catchphrase:
  • "I'm taking the kids to my sister's."
  • "I'm the fighter."
• Chocolate Baby: In season 48 one of her children is revealed to be the child of Adonis Creed.
• Determinator: She's the fighter.
• Drama Queen: Every time she's asked about a news item it triggers an emotional tirade, no matter how positive or unrelated to boxing it is.
• Hollywood New England: Season 44. A mention of "Donnie Wahlberg Drive" (he hails from Boston), "Gronk" (Rob Gronkowski from the New England Patriots), a Shout-Out to Cheers and Matt Damon playing the titular boxer cements her story as taking place in Boston.
• Mama Bear: She will leave you and take the kids to her sister's if you continue on your destructive path. Even you, Apple.
• Nostalgia Filter: Angel wonders when all the new progress is going to be enough, proudly whipping out her iPhone 4S.
• Wet Blanket Wife: She wants him to give up boxing, and if he doesn't, well....
• Who Names Their Kid "Dude"?: Her kids (whom she is taking to her sister's) are Mikey, Nikki, and...Peppers. Later sketches added a fourth, a baby named Keno.

  Michael Che: You named your son Keno?

  Angel: Daughter.

  • The most recent sketch features Angel’s boyfriend Tommy (played by Matt Damon) making an appearance…and revealing (to Angel’s surprise) that she’s pregnant again.
    Tommy: We’re gonna name the baby Gronk!
    Angel: Even if it’s a girl!
• Your Makeup Is Running: Angel's makeup is smeared on the corners of her eyes from crying. (But only little, because she has to remain strong so she can take the kids to her sister's.)

Jules, who sees things a little differently

Played by Beck Bennett

A smug hipster who appears on Weekend Update to share opinions on the news.

• Cloud Cuckoo Lander: To put it politely.
  Jules: Everyone on the red carpet is asking "who are you wearing?" I wanna ask "who are you being?" I wanna tell all the actresses "take your clothes off! I want to see who is underneath!"
  Colin: Yeah, you can't do that, that's really bad...
• Fee Fi Faux Pas: In February 2019 he rolls onto stage with a Chinese greeting. Chinese New Year was actually over for a week at the time.
• Upper-Class Twit: His dad invented Oxycotin and sold guns to Al-Qaeda, so he doesn't have to "work", if that makes sense.
• Vaudeville Hook: Notably the first guy Colin's been forced to push out of frame once he's done.

Matt Schatt

Played by Mikey Day

A remarkably unimpressive, nerdy man who somehow has managed to marry a gorgeous woman way too out of his league much to the confusion of anyone they encounter.

• Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: Matt and his wife genuinely love each other, but especially Matt's wife loving him despite (or maybe because of) his dorkiness.
• Fanboy: Collects Smurfs action figures in the second skit and even has a "Smurf Life" tramp stamp.
• Give Geeks a Chance/Single Woman Seeks Good Man: Practically parodied with whoever is playing Matt’s wife.
• Kavorka Man: A very downplayed example.
• Nice Guy: Is a kind, soft-spoken man.
• Really Gets Around: Implied. His second wife played by JLo remarks "you can't keep a stallion in the stable."
• Serial Spouse: Married to Margot Robbie in the first skit,JLo in the second, and Ana de Armas in the third.
• Teeny Weenie: In the first sketch, his wife mentions that he was born with only testicles, though the second sketch has the Camp Gay interior designer give him a feel and declare him "just average." In his third appearance he is said to be "a hanging five and a standing four", so gets smaller when he is fully erect.
• Triple Nipple: Exaggerated in his third appearance where it is revealed he has many extra nipples all over his body, with a new one popping up "every couple of years".
• Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: Downplayed. Matt himself isn’t really all that bad-looking, but when compared to the bombshell playing his wife…
• Unfortunate Names: Among the many things that perplex people is his last name, Schatt. A scene reporter interviewing him tells him frankly that spelling it with two Ts doesn't make it any better, and an anchor wonders why he doesn't go by "Matthew". Then in season 48 they reveal his middle name, Patrick, and together...
  "Your name is Matt Pat Schatt?"
• What Does She See in Him?: Pretty much the point of the humor behind his character. People around them wonder just how a guy like Matt could ever land beautiful woman, ranging from his being wealthy to her being blind.

Carrie Krum

Played by Aidy Bryant

A seventh grade girl who's a self styled travel expert.

• '90s Hair: She is styled to look and dress like a young preteen girl from the early to mid 1990s with her hair in a high curled ponytail held by a scrunchie and the bangs leftover from the decade before.
• Call-Back: One time Carrie complains about suffering a massive back injury, which is actually the backstory of Aidy's other recurring character Melanie (except that Melanie later fell into a painkiller-induced coma and didn't awaken till she was over 20.).
• Cheery Pink: She is a excitable and relentlessly cheerful child clad in hot pink outdoor gear from The '90s.

Wes Willard

"Mother f—"

Played by Mikey Day

Host of the Weekend Update segment "Where's Wes?", Wes travels the world and challenges the viewers at home to guess where he is, with the first person to guess correctly winning a free trip to that location.

• Home Participation Sweepstakes: The segment offers a free trip to the first person to guess We's location on Twitter or a (nonexistent) "Where's Wes" app.
• Character Catchphrase: "I'm not telling!"
• Curse Cut Short: Wes starts to curse when he realizes he just spoiled the game, but the segment ends abruptly.
• Phrase Catcher: Colin Jost always follows up the segment with, "You guys have your first clue."
• Press Start to Game Over: Wes accidentally reveals his location in the very first sentence he utters.
• Travel Montage: The segment shows Wes visiting a bunch of locations all over the world, sometimes overlaid on a map.

Lazlo Holmes

Played by Chance the Rapper

A New York Knicks reporter for MSG Network who frequently finds himself having to fill-in for other sporting events on the network.

• Character Catchphrase: Frequently says "That's what's up" when forced to reply to something he did not understand.
• Crippling Overspecialization: A sports reporter who's only knowledgeable about basketball.
• Fish out of Water: A basketball reporter by trade, he finds himself out of his depth when he's forced to cover ice hockey or e-sports.
• Stunned Silence: Lazlo was speechless when he saw one of the e-sports gamers he interviewed take a bunch of groupies backstage.

Abraham H. Parnassus

Played by Adam Driver

An oil man (baron, as some have called him) who visits his son's class for Career Day.

• Character Catchphrase: "Crush your enemies!"
• Dartboard of Hate: Parnassus attacks a dead bird to demonstrate the ins and outs of the oil industry which is to CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES.
• Expy: He's a darkly comical version of Daniel Plainview, the Villain Protagonist of There Will Be Blood.
• For the Evulz: Parnassus cares little about the profits of the oil industry, his only goal is to CRUSH HIS ENEMIES.
• The Ghost: H. R. Pickens, who Parnassus CRUSHED INTO THE GROUND.
  Samantha: Who is H. R. Pickens?
  Abraham H. Parnassus: EXACTLY!
• Large Ham: Parnassus turns the ham up to eleven.
• Reminiscing About Your Victims: Parnassus recalls to the class how he CRUSHED H. R. Pickens.
• There Is No Kill Like Overkill: Parnassus is not content to just win, he must CRUSH HIS ENEMIES, GRIND THEIR BONES INTO DIRT, and so on. His final revenge was to marry H.R. Pickens' granddaughter, and their son is the one in class.
• What, Exactly, Is His Job?: While he's clearly an oil man, it's still extremely vague as to what he ''does' from day-to-day. When asked to highlight what he does, he only answers "CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES!"

Bailey Gismert

Played by Heidi Gardner

A teenager running her own Youtube channel dedicated to pop culture reviews, brought on to Weekend Update to illustrate the point of view of kids nowadays. Turns out live tv is further out of her depth than she anticipated...

• Character Tics: Whenever Michael Che's questions start to upset her, Bailey starts fiddling with her hair.
• Drama Queen: The pressure of school and family on top of her social media work sometimes sends her into a live meltdown on air.
• Please Subscribe to Our Channel: End of every segment, Bailey asked the audience to Like and Subscribe to the video, even though the segment appears on network television.
• Smitten Teenage Girl: Bailey develops inappropriate crushes on the characters in the movies she reviews (including Pikachu and Buffalo Bill), as if they were real people.

Chen Biao

Played by Bowen Yang

A government official from China who's something of an unofficial ambassador to the US — which seems to be his real job.

• Always Camp: In his first appearance he's revealed to be wearing some very fancy shoes under the desk.
• New Job as the Plot Demands: During the trade war between China and the US, Chen was saddled with the role of trade advisor — upon the outbreak of COVID19, he was hastily reassigned to the health department.

Loni and Josh

Played by Cecily Strong (Loni) and Mikey Day (Josh)

Two incredibly dumb kids who are the students of an edutainment show called "The Science Room".

• The Ditz: It's safe to say that these kids are definitely not bright; they struggle to correctly answer even the most basic scientific question (like, "what happens when you stick in a needle in a balloon"), much to the frustration of the host.
• Enraged by Idiocy: As the sketch goes on, whoever's playing the host will get slowly aggravated by Loni and Josh's stupidity to the point of having a brief breakdown.
• From the Mouths of Babes: Loni often delivers nuggets of advice she gets from her older sister, who Really Gets Around. Of course, since most of what she says is very inappropiate for a kids show, the host often has to keep her quiet.
• Pronouncing My Name for You: In the "Jason Sudeikis" episode, Loni's mother (played by Melissa Villasenor) reveals that Loni's name is actually pronouced "Low-ni" not "Lon-nee"^note It was actually a mistake made by Villasenor, but Sudeikis rolled with it with an improvised reaction.
  Host (Sudeikis): "LOW-NI"?! I've been calling her "Lon-nee" the whole damn time! (turning to Loni) "LOW-NI"?! You didn't speak up for yourself?!

Jan Krang

A woman who frequently attempts to get Teenagers to stop "harrasing" her by proposing some rather... extreme solutions.

Played by Aidy Bryant

• Character Catchphrase: "Jan Krang... J-A-N-K-RANG."
• Disproportionate Retribution: Frequently suggests massive and extreme solutions to the issue of "teenagers misbehaving nearby her place of residence." One sketch had her attempting to have all teenagers banned from her apartment complex because of the kids who gather outside her apartment to "huff white claws and give each other sixty-niners."
• Making Love in All the Wrong Places: She frequently complains about teenagers performing sex acts nearby her. Although her terminology is... interesting, to say the least. In one sketch she complained about a bunch of teenagers "analing each other."
• No Indoor Voice: Downplayed. She never screams at the top of her lungs, but she still puts on a very loud voice even when speaking directly into a microphone.
• The Paranoiac: While she frequently complains about teenagers doing things near her, it's strongly implied that she never actually sees what they're doing, especially because she frequently doesn't seem to know what she's talking about. She makes a reference to teenagers "huffing White Claws" even though White Claws are an alcoholic beverage.
• Teens Are Monsters: She certainly seems to think so.

Woodbridge High School Theatre Troupe

A group of theatre kids that have written their own shows about the hot-button issues in America.

Played by Aidy Bryant,Beck Bennett,Kate McKinnon,Kyle Mooney,Taran Killam / Mikey Day, and host

• Anvilicious: Their social commentary is subtle like a sledgehammer. One of their more "nunanced" bits includes a line of people waiting to be shipped off to concentration camps, before loudly announcing that the year is 2017.
• Character Catchphrase: They will say "Wooooow." in unison after they have (in their view) made a poignant statement.
• Know-Nothing Know-It-All: As the audience members frequently point out, their efforts to make meaningful social commentary through their shows just expose how shallow their understanding of the issues actually is.
  Audience Member 1: The program says, “Tonight’s proceeds go to Standing Rock, let’s get those native Americans the pipeline they want.”
  Audience Member 2: Yeah. I don’t think they know what’s happening there.
• Monochrome Casting: The group is 100% white, which makes the way they tackle racial issues in their plays even more tone-deaf.
• Soapbox Sadie: All four of their acts are exclusively about protesting various injusticies in America (badly). Incidentally, their set also includes boxes for them to sit or stand on.
• Spoiled Sweet: They clearly don't have any world experience on anything they try to tackle, but they do seem to genuinely want to improve society. It's just that their sketches lack any subtlety, and they charitably donate all their proceeds... to people who absolutely do not need them, like Neil Patrick Harris.

Season 46+

Xan Mob

Played by Pete Davidson (Guaplord) and Timothée Chalamet ($mokedcheddathaassgetta)

A rap duo who set a record for downloads on SoundCloud, who appear on a roundable discussion on rap music.

• Character Catchphrase:
  • YEET!
  • SKRRT!
• Critic-Proof: invoked Their songs are terrible and offend the other panelists to the point they're willing to inflict physical violence on them. Yet somehow, they've gotten billions of streams online.
• Hollywood Tone-Deaf: Guaplord "raps" in a whiny nasally voice that's about as far from hip-hop as it gets, but it's on key.
• Know-Nothing Know-It-All: Most of their knowledge of hip-hop stems from offshoots of the genre (and Fall Out Boy) rather than authentic artists. They don't realize this, of course.
• Pop-Cultural Osmosis Failure: Thanks to their ignorance of real hip-hop, they have no idea who artists like The Notorious B.I.G. are.
• Pretty Fly for a White Guy: The duo makes a hash of hip-hop, although, if we're being fair, they're not imitating real hip-hop artists, but the amateurish offshoots they see on Tiktok (and the Kia Hamsters).
• Put on a Bus: When Chalamet reprised his role during his second hosting stint (two seasons after Davidson's departure from the show), his character explains that Guaplord is now laying low in Turkey after having gotten involved in the fundraising efforts for New York City Mayor Eric Adams.
• Speak in Unison: They sometimes answer questions in unison.
• Very Punchable Man: They are so overconfident about their bad rapping, they end up getting a smackdown from Questlove.

Angelo

Played by Aristotle Athari

A lounge singer who enchants his exclusive audience with improvisational songs.

• Character Catchphrase: "Say for me?" and "Thank you for this."
• Everyone Is Jesus in Purgatory: Cecily's character has no problem constructing a deeper meaning around Angelo's art.
• Ruritania: He originates from a war-torn, vaguely Eastern European country called "Margapalfacepesa".
• Something Something Leonard Bernstein: His song lyrics are a vaguely English word salad, beginning with "If I ever.." and ending with a "...toniiiiight!".
• Suspiciously Similar Song: His improvisational tunes all sound the same.
• True Art Is Incomprehensible: Figuratively and literally. His work is internationally renowned and Cecily's character eats it all up, but her Straight Man companion doesn't understand it whatsoever.
  Cecily: It's called culture, Doug! Read a book.

The Iceberg that sank the Titanic

"Nobody's talking about the Water!"

Played by Bowen Yang

The iceberg that sank the Titantic visits Weekend Update to promote his new album.

• Animate Inanimate Object: He's a talking iceberg.
• Avant-Garde Music: His album is a Hyperpop EDM New Disco Fantasia called Music.
• Camp Gay: Sparkly white outfit, sings a song called "Loverboy".
• Literal Metaphor:
  Iceberg: There's so much going on beneath the surface that you can't see.
  Colin: Yeah, like an iceberg.
• Never My Fault: He doesn't take any responsibility for his role in the sinking of the Titanic, blaming the drownings on bad shipbuilding and the Water.

Claudia Flores, Protective Latino Mom

Played by: Pedro Pascal

A typical (for the most part) suburban Latino housewife, who's always had the time for her son Luis (Marcello Hernandez), whether he wants it or not.

• Berserk Button: Any little hint that there's something wrong with Luis, just because it reflects badly on her.
  "My son! DON'T HAVE! A.D.D.! HE JUST LIKE TO JUMP!!"
• Dating What Daddy Hates: Her sketches all have to do with her obvious offense at Luis dating a white girl. At least until the first sign that this girl was raised right.
• Deadpan Snarker: Prone to making blunt or sarcastic remarks about girlfriends yet to earn her approval.
• Hiding Behind the Language Barrier: Let's just say she's an old master of Passive-Aggressive Kombat.
• I Want Grandkids: If she approves of Luis' latest girlfriend, she immediately starts pressuring the couple to give her grandchildren.
• Incredibly Conspicuous Drag: It's basically a garishly made-up Pedro Pascal in a wig and dress and fake bust for good measure. He didn't even shave.
• My Beloved Smother: By her very nature.
• Punctuated Pounding: She's prone to slapping Luis to the rhythm of her scolding.
• Quit Your Whining: When Luis was a depressed Troubled Child, she simply ordered him to stop being depressed and to "Do something else!"
• Satellite Character: Her second episode introduces her sister Rosa (Bad Bunny), who's just like her in every way barring hair color.

Lisa from Temecula

"Cook my meat!"

Played by Ego Nwodim

A germaphobic lawyer from Temecula eating dinner with her sister's friends.

• Artistic License – Physics: The table shakes a lot more than Lisa's actions should produce.
• Bizarre Taste in Food: Lisa prefers extra, extra well-done steak, with ketchup.
• Mistaken for Flirting: Lisa takes everything the episode's host says as an attempt to "get some butt tonight" (to quote her first appearance), even if they don't seem romantically attracted to women.
• Never My Fault: Lisa blames the eatery on all the spilled drinks and scattered food caused by her own shaking of the table.
• Picky Eater: She won't eat any meat that looks the least bit undercooked.
• Playing the Victim Card: When someone comes to the table to report that people were making complaints, Lisa asks if it's because the guests at her table belong to a minority, even though some clearly don't belong to the one she names.
• Slapstick: Most of the humor comes from the exaggerated physical effect of the table shaking (and from subsequent Corpsing).
• Terrified of Germs: She won't risk any chance of her meal making her too sick for her next trial.
• Vocal Evolution: Ego Nwodim began exaggerating Lisa's Temecula accent on the character's second appearance.

---

Wayne and Garth: And scene.

---