Funny: Gravity Falls

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     Season 1 

Tourist Trapped

  • "This attic is amazing. Check out all my splinters!"
    Dipper: And there's a goat on my bed.
    Mabel: Hello, friend! (goat chews on her sweater) Yes, you can keep chewing my sweater! (laughs)
  • "Yay, grass!" And Mabel rolling across the grass.
  • This little bit after Dipper screams "ZOMBIE!"
    Grunkle Stan: Somebody say "cromby"? What is that, "cromby"? It's not even a word. You're losing your mind!
  • Grappling Hook!
  • The entire montage of Mabel trying to flirt with boys.
  • "I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now." In walks Grunkle Stan.
    Mabel: Oh, why?!
  • Pretty much everything Soos says.
    Soos: This is for the zombies. (hands Dipper a shovel)
    Dipper: Thanks.
    Soos: And this is in case you see a piñata. (hands Dipper a baseball bat)
    Dipper: (beat) Eh… Thanks? (drives off)
    Soos: (calling after Dipper) BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY!
  • Dipper: Is my sister really dating a zombie or am I just going nuts?
    Soos: It's a dilemma to be sure. (Beat) I couldn't help but overhear you talking aloud to yourself in this empty room.
  • This exchange.
    Dipper: As always Soos, you're right.
    Soos: My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse.
    • Followed immediately by:
      Stan: (yelling from offscreen) Soos! The portable toilets are clogged again!
      Soos: I am needed elsewhere. (walks backwards out the door, holding Dipper's gaze)
  • It looks like Mabel's boyfriend is about to grab her and eat her brains... only to show that he's just putting a daisy chain on her. Mabel's reaction cements it.
    Mabel: Daisies? You scallywag!
  • Mabel literally spilling the beans.
  • "Are you bleeding, Norman?" (beat) "It's jam."
  • Please be a vampire, please be a vampire!
  • Mabel using a leaf blower for kissing practice.
  • "Just today my mosquito bites spelled out BEWARE!" "... that says BEWARB."
  • Grunkle Stan showing off the Most Distracting Object in the World. "I can't even remember what I was talking about..."
  • The whole scene where Grunkle Stan shows off Rock That Looks Like A Face Rock, only to be greeted with the questions of confused tourists that wonder whether it also looks like a rock and whether or not it actually is a face.
    Grunkle Stan: And here we have "Rock that looks like a face" rock; the rock that looks like a face.
    Tourist 1: Does it look like a rock?
    Grunkle Stan: No, it looks like a face.
    Tourist 2: Is it a face?
    Grunkle Stan: It's a rock that looks like a face! For the fifth time, it's not an actual face!
  • In a panic, Dipper runs up to Wendy and tells her that he needs to borrow the golf cart so he can save Mabel from a zombie. Her reaction?
    Wendy: Try not to hit any pedestrians!
  • Dipper interrupting Jeff the gnome leader's Breaking Speech by literally shoveling him aside. The way Dipper raises his eyebrow during the scene sells it.
  • The Reveal of Mabel's boyfriend's identity. That is all. Best lampshaded by Dipper when he find out.
    Dipper: Gnomes? Huh, I was way off.
  • "So what d'ya say? Will you join us in holy matri-gnomey? Matri—matrimony! Blah! I can't talk today."
  • "We'll never forget you Mabel. Because we're going to kidnap you."
  • This screenshot.
  • This particular scene after Dipper walks in on the gnomes tying Mabel to the ground.
    Dipper: Hey, hey! Let go of my sister!
    Gnome: Oh, hey there. You know, this is all really just a big misunderstanding. You see, your sister's not in any danger. She's just marrying all 1000 of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity. Isn't that right honey?
    Mabel: You guys are butt-faces!
  • When the gnomes are fleeing from Dipper and Mabel, one of them gets wrapped in a set of plastic six-pack rings and is carried off by a goat.
  • Description of zombies.
    Dipper: Known for their pale skin and bad attitude, these creatures are often mistaken for teenagers.
  • The way Dipper and Mabel top off their "awkward sibling hug."
  • Dipper tries to hide the journal he found from Grunkle Stan and we end up with this:
    Grunkle Stan: Whatcha reading there, slick?
    Dipper: Oh, uh, just catching up on— (takes a closer look at what he has in his hands) "Gold Chains for Old Men" magazine?
    Grunkle Stan: That's a good issue.
  • At the end of this episode, when the credits roll, there's a clip of one of the gnomes throwing up rainbows that lasts all the way to the show's end. The fact it's deliberately long makes it a Crowning Moment of Funny entry.
  • While most of the gnomes have names like Jeff, Mike, and Steve, one of them is called Shmebulock.
    Jeff: Is this weird? Is this too weird? You need to sit down? R-right, I'll explain. So... we're gnomes, first off, get that one out of the way. I'm Jeff, and here we have Carson, Steve, Jason, and... I'm sorry, I always forget your name.
    Shmebulock: Shmebulock!
  • Dipper trying to tell Mabel that Norman is a zombie.
    Mabel: You think he might be a vampire? Because that would be so awesome!
    Dipper: Guess again sister. Shabam! (opens book to page about gnomes)
    Mabel: Aah!
    Dipper: Oh, wait. Sorry. (flips to "undead" page) Shabam!

The Legend of the Gobblewonker

  • Dipper and Mabel's syrup race.
  • Mabel geeking out over human-sized hamster balls.
    Mabel: Human-sized hamster balls? (gasps) I'm human sized!
    • Also included Mabel's Imagine Spot with her rolling around town trying to pick up boys while in said hamster ball. The animation of said boys also was hilarious.
      • Makes for a great brick joke when at the end of the first season we find out these boys are Xyler and Kraz from one of Mabel's movies titled Dream Boy High.
    • Dipper's Imagine Spot where he was clearly channelling Indiana Jones and ends with Hamster Ball Mabel breaking through a brick wall demanding an interview.
  • Finding out that Mabel saved a little something from their run in with the gnomes.
    Dipper: We didn't get any photos of those gnomes, did we?
    Mabel: Nope, just memories. (beat) And this beard hair.
    Dipper: Why did you save that?
    Mabel: (shrugs)
  • Grunkle Stan asking the twins what day it is.
    Dipper: Um, happy anniversary?
    Mabel: Mazel tov!
  • How the last bonding day with Grunkle Stan turned out: something to do with counterfeiting hundred dollar bills, getting caught by the police, and spending the night in the county jail.
    Grunkle Stan: 'You call that Ben Franklin? He looks like a woman! (sirens blaring) Uh-oh.
    (cut to Mabel in the present)
    Mabel: The county jail was so cold...
  • This scene. Just... this scene.
    Grunkle Stan: Who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?!
    Dipper and Mabel: YAY!
    Dipper: (beat) Wait, what?
  • "Grunkle Stan, are you wearing a blindfold?" "Nah, but with these cataracts I might as well be. What is that, a woodpecker?"
    • Then they crash.
  • The montage of the other townspeople out fishing.
    Lazy Susan: Here fishy, fishy. Get into the pan!
    • The big brute of a father, Manly Dan, beating up a fish.
      • Made even better with the Cute Biker coming out of nowhere and cheering him on.
  • Grunkle Stan's reason for taking Dipper and Mabel fishing.
    Grunkle Stan: I've never had fishing buddies before. The guys at the lodge won't go with me. They don't "like" or "trust" me.
  • Old Man McGucket knocking a submarine sandwich out of the hands of an innocent bystander.
  • Mabel thinking Old Man McGucket is doing a happy jig.
    Old Man McGucket: No! It's a jig of grave DANGER!
  • Old Man McGucket's son spraying him with water as if he were a cat in order to get him to stop scaring away his customers.
  • "It had wrinkly skin like —- this gentleman right here!" (points to Grunkle Stan)
  • Old Man McGucket randomly joining in on Dipper and Mabel chanting "Monster hunt! Monster hunt! Uh... I'll go..."
  • "We're gonna find that Gobblewonker!" "We're gonna win that photo contest!" "Do any of you dudes have sunscreen?" (beat) "We're gonna... go get sunscreen!"
  • Soos's Genre Savvy answer when Dipper asks what's the number one problem with most monster hunts: if you're a side character, you die within the first five minutes of the movie.
    Soos: Dude, am I a side character? Do you ever think about stuff like that?
  • Soos pretending to be Bigfoot.
  • Dipper declares they have plenty of cameras. Cue Soos losing a camera after being blinded by a light-bulb flash and Mabel throwing hers at a seagull flying too close.
    Dipper: Don't lose your cameras.
    Soos: Wait, lose the camera?
    Dipper: Don't!
    Soos: Dude, I just threw two away.
    • And then we get this scene with Dipper.
    Dipper: Okay, we still have thirteen cameras—(accidentally breaks one; beat) Twelve.
  • Mabel threatening to "lose" more cameras in the lake unless she gets to be "Co-Captain".
  • "Permission to taste some?" The food in question is fish food.
    Soos: Dude, I don't know what I expected that to taste like.
  • The whole ventriloquism act with Mabel and the pelican.
  • "Dude, check it out. Butt Island!"
    Mabel: Soos, you rapscallion!
  • "Was that your stomach?" "No, my stomach normally sounds like whale noises."
    Mabel: Wow, so majestic!
  • Mabel's rapping.
    Mabel: My name is Mabel. It rhymes with table. It also rhymes with... glabel. It also rhymes with... shmabel!
    Soos: Dude, we should be writing this down.
  • The beavers talking in subtitles. Heck, the beavers in general.
  • Finding out what the monster noise really was.
    Soos: Sweet, beaver with a chainsaw!
  • Soos' impromptu photo shoot with one of the beavers.
  • When the kids and Soos are being chased by the Gobblewonker, they crash through a Sheet of Glass. In the middle of a lake. note 
  • For acting all creepy at the lake, Grunkle Stan got a tracker on his leg.
  • "My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!"


  • Wax Coolio.
  • "It's just me, your Grunkle Stan!" Apparently he scares Dipper and Mabel more than the thought of a talking wax statue.
    • Later Stan is freaked out by the wax figure of him.
  • Grunkle Stan calling wax Larry King "some kind of goblin man".
  • Mabel's wax statue ideas which include a half-horse fairy princess .
    Dipper: Maybe you should carve something from real life.
    Mabel: Like a waffle with big arms!
    Dipper: Yyy-okay, or something else.
  • Grunkle Stan's reaction to melted wax Abe Lincoln.
    Grunkle Stan: Who left the blinds open?! Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking in your direction!
  • "Why's your sister talking to the ceiling?"
  • Soos agreeing that wax Grunkle Stan needs more glitter and throwing an entire bucket of glitter on it.
  • Soos directing cars with corndogs. He even takes a bite.
  • Dipper can't believe that so many people showed up to the wax museum reopening and Wendy thinks that Grunkle Stan must have bribed them. Cue the both of them pulling out the bribe money that Grunkle Stan gave them.
    • Soon it transpires that Stan included an offer of free pizza with admission on his flyers for the event. "That was a typo. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY!" Stan flees with the money, and the crowd riots, during which Manly Dan punches a wooden pole so hard it cracks.
      Mabel: I think that went well.
  • "But enough about me. Behold, me!"
  • "I made this statue with my own two hands. It’s covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids."
  • "Well Ducktective, it looks like you've quacked the case." Cue the duck quacking, "Don't patronize me."
  • "It could be months before we find our first clue." "Look, a clue!"
  • Dipper shows Soos the evidence at the crime scene, an axe.
    Dipper: So what do you think?
    Soos: In my opinion, this is an axe.
  • "Sorry, we don't serve miners."
    • And the twins' fake IDs, which have googly eyes on them. Closer inspection reveals that Dipper is trying to pass for 45.
    Bouncer: Works for me.
    • Also, their fake names are "Lady Mabelton" and "Lord Dippingsauce."
  • Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland calling Dipper "city boy".
  • Dipper sneezing while angrily trying to show that he's not adorable.
    Mabel: Aww, you sneeze like a kitten!
  • "It seems like the kind of thing a responsible parent wouldn't want you doing. Good thing I'm an uncle! Avenge me, kids! AVENGE ME!"
  • Dipper interrogating Manly Dan
    Dipper: Manly Dan, where were you last night?
    Manly Dan: Punchin' the clock!
    Dipper: You were at work?
    Manly Dan: No, I was PUNCHIN' THAT CLOCK!
    (Cut to Dipper seeing a dented clock outside)
  • Old Man McGucket waving to Dipper and Mabel... with a baby alligator stuck to his right hand.
  • "You have the right to remain impressed with our awesome detective work."
  • Toby Determined: "You knees must be sore... from jumping to conclusions! Ha cha cha!
  • "Llamas are nature's greatest warriors!"
  • "I'm Sherlock bleedin' Holmes! Have you seen my magnifying glass?! It's ENORMOUS!"
  • "I decapitated Larry King!"
  • What happens when Dipper cuts a wax Groucho Marx statue in half?
    "I heard about cutting remarks, but this is ridiculous!"
  • "I couldn't have done it without my sidekick!" "No offense Dipper, but you're the sidekick."
  • The hilarious quadruple hot coffee Spit Take between Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland after Dipper tells them he's solved the case.
    Grunkle Stan: They got scalded!
    • "I'm so confident you're going to say no, that I'm going to take a long, slow sip from my cup of coffee..."
  • How Stan got the wax statues.
    Salesman: I must warn you, these statues come at a terrible price.
    Stan: Twenty dollars?! I'll just take 'em when you're not lookin'.
    Salesman: What?
    Stan: I said I was gonna rob ya.
  • Mabel and Shakespeare's head.
    Mabel: You know any limericks?
    Shakespeare: Um... There once was a dude from Kentucky...
    Mabel: Nope! (throws him in the fire)
  • Grunkle Stan's funeral for his own wax dummy.
    Stan: Some might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax dummy of himself...
    Soos: THEY'RE WRONG!
  • When the wax figures gang up on Dipper and Mabel
    Wax Sherlock: Applaud everyone, applaud sarcastically. (everyone claps)
    Wax Sherlock: Uhhh, no, that sounds too sincere, slower. (claps slower) There we go, nice and condescending.
  • Dipper was able to tell that Mabel had eaten an entire tube of toothpaste.
    Mabel: It was so sparkly.
  • Grunkle Stan: Ladies, please! Control yourselves. (Cut to some women looking very bored)
  • At the wax museum re-opening, this exchange;
    Toby: Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper. Does this really constitute as a wonder of the world?
    Stan: Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby.
    Toby: (dejected) It certainly is.
    Stan: Next question!
  • In the flashback wax Larry King is playing with wax Coolio's hair.
    Wax Coolio: I told you to stop that.
    Wax Larry King: Why don'tcha make me?
  • Mabel attempting to "fit in" at the Skull Fracture bar.
    Mabel: (sits down next to mean looking guy) Greetings, fellow restaurant patron. (taps him on the arm) Bap!
    • Upon cutting back, it turns out Mabel and the guy have not only hit it off, the guy's avidly watching Mabel predict his future with an origami fortune teller.

The Hand That Rocks the Mabel

  • Mabel literally finding the loophole.
  • Slow down the thing that appears after Gideon's commercial. At the end you'll see "Carla, I've always loved you but I've never had the guts to say it."
    Mabel: Check it out, Dipper! I successfully bezazzled my face! ... Blink! Ow.
    Dipper: Is that permanent?
    Mabel: I'm unappreciated in my time.
  • Stan talking about how everything got worse after Gideon's arrival, using Gideon stealing a parking space from right under Stan's nose. What really makes this joke however is the fact that Stan actually wouldn't have been allowed to park in the space because he was coming from the wrong side.
  • Soos wondering what the Portmanteau Couple Name for Gideon and Mabel will be.
    Soos: "Mabideon? Gideable?" (gasps) Magidbeleon!
    "I will pardon NOTHING!"
  • Bud Gleeful offering Stan coffee.
    Bud: It's imported from Colombia.
    Grunkle Stan: Wow, I went to jail there once.
  • "How'd it go?" "I dunno, I have a lobster now."
  • Grunkle Stan's reaction to Gideon's Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness.
    Grunkle Stan: Whaddaya got, a word-a-day calendar or something?
  • Grunkle Stan stealing the clown painting.
    Grunkle Stan: Try and catch me, suckers!
  • Mabel bedazzling Soos and turning him into a human disco ball during the end credits.
    • Grunkle Stan's reaction to said Soos bedazzling.
      Stan: (Beat) You're all fired.
  • The scene in the restaurant when Gideon asks Mabel on another date, and the patrons crowd them.
    • First, Gideon gets a parrot to convey a message to Mabel:
    • Then, the patrons start to crowd the two, commenting on how adorable the two are, anticipating Mabel's response, so anxious that if she says no, one old lady would die from sadness! Finally, made even better by a doctor apparently confirming that.
      Old Lady: If she says no, I'll die from sadness!
      Doctor: I can verify that will indeed happen.
  • Apparently, Mabel likes Gideon as a "friend slash little sister."
  • This exchange between Mabel and Dipper:
    Dipper: Mabel?
    Mabel: (sitting in the corner with her head and arms inside her sweater) Mabel's not here. She's in Sweater Town.
  • Mabel giving a Scooby Doo-sounding "Aroo?" in reaction to Gideon's ad, complete with Quizzical Tilt.
  • This scene in the restaurant during Mabel and Gideon's date.
    Mabel: And water with bubbles in it! So fancy. Ooh la la, oui oui!
    Gideon: Oh, parlez vous français?
    Mabel: (beat) I have no idea what you're saying.
  • Dipper referring to Gideon's tent as a bizarro version of the Mystery Shack right down to having its own version of Soos, who's named "Deuce". Soos and his doppelganger then give each other a Death Glare.
  • Bud Gleeful's nonchalant reaction to one of Lil' Gideon's rages.
    (beat) Fair enough.
  • Dipper and Gideon sissy slapping each other.
  • When Stan storms out, Soos thinks he pulled a case of The Exit Is That Way.
    Soos: Nope, real door.
  • When Mabel is freaking out over how Gideon keeps pulling her into the romance zone ("It was like quicksand! Chubby quicksand!") Dipper tries to comfort her;
    Dipper: It's not like you're gonna have to marry him.
    Stan: (Wearing a Team Gideon T-shirt) Great news, Mabel! You have to marry Gideon!
    Mabel: What?!
    Stan: It's all part of my long-term deal with Budfy Gleeful. There's big money tied up in this thing. Plus I got this shirt! Ugh, I am fat.
    Mabel: Aaah! (Flees)
    Stan: Bodies change, honey! Bodies change...
  • Mabel defends her friendship with Gideon as giving her someone to do "girly stuff" with.
    Mabel: You never want to do girly stuff with me! You and Soos get to do boy stuff all the time.
    Dipper: What do you mean?
    Soos: Hey dude, you ready to blow up these hot dogs in the microwave one by one?
    Dipper: Am I?! [runs off with Soos]

The Inconveniencing

  • "Mabel, do you believe in ghosts?" "I believe you're a big dork!"
    • Cue Dipper nonchalantly knocking Mabel from the top of the spinning globe with a completely deadpan expression on his face.
  • The responses Grunkle Stan gets when he asks if Soos and Wendy are going to wash the bathrooms.
    Soos: Yes, sir!
  • The last joke before the opening:
    Mabel: Uh oh.
    Dipper: What?
    Mabel: Somebody's in love!
    Dipper: Yeah, right. I just think Wendy's cool, okay? It's not like I lay awake at night thinking about her.
    Gilligan Cut to that night, when he's doing exactly that.
    Dipper: Uh oh.
  • "Random dance party for no reason!"
  • When Dipper pretends to write something down, he actually writes "I am pretending to write something down." Then he gives an approving nod.
  • The whole scene where Mabel spills the embarrassing details about Dipper being dressed up in a lamb costume and being made to do "The Lamby Dance".
    Dipper: Now is not the time to talk about the Lamby Dance!
    Dipper: Weeeeeell, who wants a lamby-lamby-lamby?
    I do, I do!
    So go up and greet your mammy-mammy-mammy
    Hi there, hi there!
    So march, march, march around the daisies!
    Don't, don't, don't you forget about the baaaaaaabyyyy!
    • It's made even funnier by the fact that Dipper obviously didn't want Wendy to know about the dance. When she finally sees it, she's Squee-ing in the background.
    • "That's some fine girly dancin', son."
  • "How old did you guys say you were?" "We're thirteen. So, technically a teen!"
    • Then there's Mabel wondering why they're suddenly a year older.
      Mabel: Since when are we thirteen? Is this a leap year?
  • Dipper flipping Mabel's hair over her face, and Mabel's subsequent sputtering.
  • "Kids! I can't find the remote and I refuse to stand up!"
    • Funnier when you see him with a pint of ice cream during a later scene - he got up.
  • Mabel's Mushroom Samba after eating too much Smile Dip.
  • Grunkle Stan getting totally into the black-and-white Duchess movie... to the point where he throws the TV out the window out of frustration at one of the plot lines.
    Duchess in the movie: I may be a duchess, but I'm also a woman!
    Grunkle Stan: Yeah! In your face, Elizabeth! (sobbing) It's just like my life! In a way.
    Character in the movie: You had your chance at the cotillion, you!
  • TV: "You're watching the Black And White Period Piece Old Lady Boring Movie Channel." "Stay tuned for the Friday night movie: The Duchess Approves, starring Sturley Stempleburgiss as the Duchess, and Grampton St.Rumpterfrabble as irascible coxswain Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire."
  • "Did you lick my hand?"
  • The incredibly tame rap song, and the fact that it was enough to give the store owners fatal heart attacks.
    • Not to mention how serious the expressions were on the dancers.
      Homework's whack and so are rules! Tucking in your shirt's for fools!
  • "I'm the guy who spray-painted the water tower." "Oh, the big muffin." "Um, it's a giant explosion!"
  • "Look! Dancy Pants Revolution, the game that tricks you into exercising!"
  • This scene:
    Wendy: You're surprisingly mature for your age!
    Dipper: Yes. Yes I am.
    Dipper: *tries to eat his ice cream without looking at it, ends up hitting it against the side of his face instead*

Dipper vs. Manliness

  • We're hungry!
  • The Cute Biker in the Mystery Shack.
    Stan: I'm for locking him in if you are.
    Cute Biker: (While the Pines are driving off) Puma shirt, panther shirt. Puma shirt, panther shirt. Puma shirt... Panther shirt.
  • Dipper showing off his (non-existent) chest hair, when his chest is apparently so bald and pale the gleam from it nearly blinds Mabel and Grunkle Stan.
  • Dipper dancing in the bathroom to ABBA, or BABBA as they're called here.
  • What Dipper says as he approaches the manliness tester.
    Dipper: ... time to man handle this MAN HANDLE.
  • Grunkle Stan gushing over Lazy Susan
    Stan: I mean, look at her! She's so classy...
    Lazy Susan: (pounding on the dessert display case) Spin, ya dumb pies, spin!
  • Soos: (dressed as Lazy Susan) "I'm soft, like a woman."
  • Testosteror's reaction to Dipper saying the Manotaurs aren't manly enough for the challenge of training him: "I have 3 Y Chromosomes, 6 Adam's Apples, pecs on my abs, and FISTS FOR NIPPLES!!"
  • "Keep on shaving that hairy uncle!"
    • "Uh...I don't really know what's happening in this part..."
  • Mabel's reasoning to Lazy Susan on why she should date Stan.
    Mabel: Also women live longer so your dating pool is smaller and you should really lower your standards.
  • Lazy Susan having her cats say hi to Grunkle Stan down the phone.
    Stan: How do I get out of this!?
  • After Dipper gets his first chest hair, Mabel yanks it off and scrapbooks it.
  • The ending:
    Stan: Don't worry kid. If you're like me, there's more where that came from!
    Rips off his shirt
    Dipper: Aw gross!
    Everybody Laughs
    Dipper: Seriously, that's disgusting.
  • Don't forget this:
    Woman: *bumped into by Dipper* Oh, I'm sorry. I was just looking for the mailman.
    Dipper: Oh, what? Are you saying I'm not a male man? Is that what you're trying to say? I'm not male, I'm- I'm not a man? Is that- is that what you're getting at?
    Woman: Are you crying?
    *Dipper begins to sob and runs away*
  • Mabel tries to make Grunkle Stan smile. Seeing it makes Soos run screaming.

Double Dipper

  • "Do you realize what this means?... BLARGGGGH!!"
  • "Alright, party people. And Dipper."
  • "Woah!... I have a really big head."
  • Soos and the laser pointer.
    Soos: I am so glad I turned my head. That dot did not disappoint.
    • And a little later:
      Tyrone: Number Ten has been distracting Soos for fifteen minutes. He's gonna get tired of that dot eventually!
      Soos (off-camera): Never!
  • Dipper's jealousy fantasy in which Wendy dances with Robbie, taking a break to punch Dipper in the stomach for good measure.
    • "Hey, buddy, it's me — you. I just had the same jealousy fantasy."
    • His original fantasy was also hilarious as well, with Wendy swooning over his organizational skills... and the fact he's the same height as her.
    • "Show me the list again!"
    • Not to mention Soos playing the trumpet in the background.
    • "Let's get married tonight!"
    • "Oh no! They're sitting on the couch!"
    • Not to mention the breathy voice Wendy speaks with in the fantasies- completely unlike how she normally talks.
  • Dipper's clones lock him (the original Dipper) in a closet... but they make sure that there are snacks and a coloring book for him so he's comfortable.
    • Crowned by Dipper's defiant, "I'm taking a break but this is far from over" expression while eating said snack.
    • "Hey guys, what would you do if you were trapped in a closet?" "Break out." *cut to the broken-opened closet door*
  • One of the Dippers hanging a dollar bill in front of Grunkle Stan off a fishhook as Stan is loading his plate with marshmallows. Stan looks at the bill, says "Yeah, right. Like I'm gonna fall for that," and resumes putting marshmallows on his plate. Then goes on to shout "Give me that floating money!" whilst chasing the bill.
    • The funny thing is, he dives for the bill, knocking over the whole refreshments table.
  • Tyrone (the first Dipper clone) trying to feed Paper Jam Dipper. Scary, but also oddly heartwarming, and funny all the while.
    • Paper Jam Dipper in general was pretty funny to begin with. When all the Dipper clones start arguing about who should dance with Wendy, he wanted to get in on the argument. And the one translated line at the end.
      Paper Jam Dipper: NYANYANYANYANYANYANYAKKKKKKKKK! (It's better this way for Paper Jam Dipper.)
  • Soos finally found the lightning sound effect.
  • Mabel singing "Don't Start Unbelieving".
    • "I'm gonna do a flip!" *smacks face on floor* "That was for you guys!"
  • Soos being the DJ.
    Soos: Alright everybody, remember who... Party Hardies, what?
  • Grenda's voice.
    Pacifica: Oh, and Grenda, you sound like a professional wrestler.
  • Dipper's clones stealing Robbie's bike was both hilarious and awesome.
    Soos: Would the owner of a silver and red dirt bike please report outside? It is being stolen right now.
    Robbie: *Sitting calmly on the couch* WHAT?!
  • Apparently, Tyrone knows what "number 2" REALLY means.
    Dipper: I shall call you "Number 2"!
    Tyrone: Definitely not.
  • This exchange:
    Dipper: So... what's your favorite snack food?
    Wendy: No way, I can't just pick one.
    Dipper: Mine too!
    Wendy: Wait, what?
    Dipper: Uhh... Um... *stuffs a handful of popcorn in his mouth*
  • Grunkle Stan asks Dipper to print flyers for his party.
    Mabel: Oh boy, a trip to the copier store!
    Soos: "Calenders, mugs, T-shirts and more! They got it all at the copier store!" That's not their slogan, I just really feel that way about the copier store.
  • The Dipper clones' understated reaction to getting caught under the sprinklers and melting away.
    Aw, boo! Lame! This stinks...
  • When Dipper tries to convince the other clones to stop fighting, they consider that idea and begins to chat with each other. Then Dipper just punches Tyrone, just like that! The immediate silence and then the clones proceeding to fight is just priceless.

Irrational Treasure

  • This little bit:
    Stan: Just remember: If you come back to the Shack talking like these people, you're dead to me.
    Dipper: (in pioneerish voice) There's a carpet-bagger in the turnip cellar!
    Mabel: (in pioneerish voice) Well, hornswoggle my haversack!
    [both spit on the ground, then run off laughing]
    Stan: DEAD TO ME!
  • Poor Toby Determined getting on Stan's bad side during Pioneer Day.
    Toby: Welcome to 1863!
    Stan: I will break you, little man!
  • Everything to do with Quentin Trembley.
  • This exchange:
    Trembley: Who could you possibly get to replace me?
    Baby Congressman: Mama.
    Trembley: That old crone?
  • "Come on, Steve you're a mechanic! Cut me some slack!
    • The officers then come in the scene.
      Stan: Oh look it's "the constable". What are you gonna do, throw me in "ye stocks"? Ahahaha!
      (cut to Stan in the stocks)
      Stan: Awww come on!
  • After the folded map leads Dipper and Mabel to the "Gravity Falls Museum of History":
    Dipper: We're going to have to break in. (dramatic music)
    Pioneer Day Lady: Annnd those are your free Pioneer Day passes. And your balloons, blue and pink.
    Dipper: (dramatic music) We're in.
  • "Hey painting, be less stupid!"
    Pioneer Day Lady: I'm sorry but we're all out of pink balloons.
    Deputy Durland: (in the most dejected voice possible) Why did we even come?
  • Once Trembley makes Mabel a Congressman:
    Mabel: I'm legalizing everything!
  • Gideon "dropping" his tomatoes.
    Gideon: Whoops, I dropped one! *WHACK* Whoops, I dropped another one! *WHACK*
  • "The only thing we have to fear is gigantic man-eating spiders!"
  • This exchange:
    Trembley: ... I will always be right here, on the negative twelve dollar bill.
    Dipper: Wow, this is worthless!
    Trembley: It's less than worthless, dear boy!
  • The man married to the woodpecker
    Man: For the last time we're not going south for the winter, our home is here! (woodpecker pecks on the table) You always say that!
  • The top secret document:
    Let it here be recorded... Nathaniel Northwest, famous in his native Gravity Falls for standing in the park and hitting himself with a large boating oar until he blacked out, was chosen to become the patsy mayor of Gravity Falls. Northwest spoke in a series of grunts and screams and often yelled his trademark phrase: "I am going to eat this entire oak tree because I am a powerful wizard!"

    The fabled founder of Gravity Falls was, in fact a fraud. His last moments on Earth were spent choking on a giant piece of bark, attempting to live out his beautiful dream. He was hated by everyone that knew him. He will not be missed.

    Thomas Jefferson was actually just two kids in an overcoat standing on each other's shoulders. The current and forever President of the United States is actually Santa Claus. Under the reign of Mr. Claus, America is not a democracy, but a jollyocracy. The statues at Mount Rushmore are actually gigantic presidential-faced robots that will be called into action when America needs them the most. An enormous, evil, time-traveling baby from another dimension is frozen in an Antarctic glacier. Fortunately, glaciers never melt, so we should be fine. Writing jokes for cartoons is more important than sleep. If you recite the Pledge of Allegiance backwards, you'll gain secret wizard powers! (This one is true kids! Try it at home!)

    The true founder of Gravity Falls is: Sir Lord Quentin Trembley III, Esq.

  • Dipper's lesson on revenge at the end.
    Dipper: Man, revenge is underrated. That felt awesome!
  • At the end of the episode, Mabel shouts "Mabel away!" then jumps backwards like what Quentin did earlier, before crashing into several trash cans offscreen.
    Mabel: I'm okay!

The Time Traveler's Pig

  • Dipper warns Mabel not to change history in the pioneer days. Mabel is Waddles-less and having none of it.
    Mabel: [hands a kid a calculator] Check it out! A magic button machine! Shoes that blink! [to a pioneer woman] Hey, sister, guess who gets to vote in the future? Ladies! Up top! [high fives her] That's called a high five. Teach it to your friends.
  • When Dipper and Mabel get their hands on Blendin Blandin's time-travel measuring tape.
    Dipper: Here it is Mabel. Our ticket to any moment in history.
    Mabel: Let's get two dodos and force them to make out!
  • "OH MY GOSH A PIG!!"
  • Apparently, if one were to rub his or her face with Waddles's, everything turns different.
    Mabel: Everything is different now.
  • Dipper: I think the sky tram is broken. Also, most of my bones.
    Stan: Haha! This guy.
  • Robbie is looking for Wendy.
    Dipper: Yeah, I think I saw her at the bottomless pit. You should go jump in there.
  • Dipper and Mabel on Robbie
    Mabel: He is such a jerk.
  • "Ah, you want 'ol Fifteen Poundy! Alright, how much ya guessin' he weighs?"
    Mabel: Fifteen pounds?
    Game Runner: (Dead serious) Are you some kind of witch?
  • When Dipper confronts Blendin about his suspicious behavior.
    Dipper: Hey you, Toolbelt! You ruined my life!
    Blendin: Huh?
    Dipper: Don't "huh" me, I've seen you before! What's your deal, are you following us around?
    Mabel: And why are you bald, what's that all about?
  • "Memory wipe!" "This is a baby wipe."
  • "Like a hawk!"
  • During the first "do-over"...
    Mabel: Fifteen pounds! And yes, I am a witch!
    Carny: *lights a torch* Well, time to round up a mob.
    • And the mob actually shows up when Mabel and Dipper go back in time again.
  • Dipper and Mabel eventually time travel to a future where society has crumbled, and there are people in bullet proof vests shooting at a giant killer floating baby who's destroying buildings and highways.
    Mabel: This future's neat.
    Dipper grabs the time traveling tape and frantically starts pressing buttons.
  • On one of Dipper's multiple attempts to impress Wendy, he tears open a bag of baseballs that falls on top of Wendy.
  • Robbie gets scared by Waddles, and knocks over a tub of hot water drenching and shrinking his pants.
    Dipper: That'll do, pig. That'll do.
  • Blendin Blandin catching the twins after all is said and done;
    Blendin: Do you know how many rules you just broke!? I'm asking...I wasn't there with was a lot, right?
  • The time cops who come to arrest Blendin are named Lolph and Dundgren.
  • When Dipper and Mabel "Go to the end of time".
    Dipper: Don't you see?! WE'VE TRANSPORTED TO THE END OF TIME!
    Mabel: AHH!
    Dipper: AHH!
    Mabel: Hey, why does it smell so bad in here?
    Dipper opens door to reveal they were in a portable bathroom.
  • Grunkle Stan's advice concerning whether something is legal or not: "Anything's legal when the cops aren't around!"
  • When Mabel and Waddles the pig first meet.
    Waddles: Wurble.
    Mabel: He said Mabel! Either that or doorbell. Did you say Mabel, or doorbell?
    Waddles: Wurble.
  • Stan apparently incorporates "Miserable Mabel" into the Mystery Shack tour without batting an eye.

Fight Fighters

  • Wendy and Dipper trying to punch the Fight Fighters ref in the beginning of the episode.
  • The game console Soos climbed in was for a game called Nort. The words on the side of the console? "The game based off the movie based off the game."
  • Rumble McSkirmish looks to be a veritable gold mine of these. His over-the-top, fighting game character mannerisms and pixel-art appearance make him amazingly funny to watch.
    • He always shouts whatever he's doing.
    • When Dipper tells him to hold perfectly still so Grunkle Stan won't see him, he can't because of his idle animation.
    • When attacking Robbie, he throws barrels down scaffolding, punches out fire hydrants and news stands for powerups before a GO sign appears, telling him to move forwards, and beats the crap out of a new car as a bonus round as a shout out to Final Fight and Street Fighter.
  • Mabel 'playing with' Rumble's voice is pure gold.
  • The credits scene. Oh, good gosh, the credits scene...
    Om, nom, nom, eating my friends...
    • At the "Choose Character" screen:
      Dipper: I'm Dipper! I have shorts and determination!
      Mabel: (in an Italian accent, ala Mario) It's-a me! A-Mabel!
      Stan: I'm slower, but I jump higher.
      Wendy: Pick me or whatever.
    • "Alas. 'Twas but a dream."
  • Soos has always wondered what it would be like to be inside of a video game. So, he unscrews the back and climbs inside, getting stuck and scares off the next person who tries to play it.
    Soos: Help! I'm trapped in the game! It was cool in theory, but in practice it was really boring!
  • "Now I must defeat the greatest Fight Fighters! Take me to the Soviet Union!" "Uh, that's gonna be tough. For a number of reasons."
  • This exchange:
    Dipper: Rumble, I have something to tell you! Robbie didn't kill my father!
    Rumble: What? Then who did?
    Dipper: Wah? No one!
  • The joke surrounding Dipper and Robbie hating each other "the way girls do".
  • After promising Grunkle Stan she won't take him to a high place, she puts on a second sweater with a "Scouts honor" hand symbol on it. After his back is turned, she turns around with a cheeky little grin, revealing to the camera a "crossies" symbol on the back of her shirt, before flipping her hair out from inside her shirt to cover it up. That was brilliant visual gag writing...
  • "GURL, WHY YOU ACKIN' SO CRAY CRAY?!" Then having that phrase turn out to be the name of the talk show—spelling included.
    • Also Mabel and Stan incorporating "cray cray" into their conversations
    Stan: So I have a fear of heights. Is that really so cray cray?
  • "You can hide, but you can't hide!"
  • "This street has really dangerous litter."
  • "Studies show that keeping a ladder inside a house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That’s why I own 10 guns. In case some maniac tries to sneak in a ladder!"
  • When it looks like Stan has conquered his fear of heights: "Wait, lemme do a cocky dance, just to be sure. Hoodlydoo! Boodlydoo! Boodlyboo! Hahahahaha!"
  • Grunkle Stan playing "Insert Token!," a video "game" only he could appreciate — if only he thought of it first.
    Announcer: Congratulations! You win! (beat) Insert token!
  • While Rumble was chasing Robbie, he comes across an expensive-looking new car that a father had just bought for his son, and beats it up for bonus points.
    Son: I love being rich.
  • Old Man McGucket playing a Dance Dance Revolution-y game called Hoe-down Hero...which isn't working. Or plugged in.
    Old Man McGucket: I've been jiggin' for seven days straight!
    Mabel: (Holds up unconnected plug) Uh, Soos...
    Soos: Let him have this.
  • This exchange, from near the end:
    Robbie: Why is it that whenever you're around, there's always ghosts or monsters or... whatever?!
    Dipper: I dunno, man.
  • At the end of the episode, Dipper and Robbie going from laughing at one of Wendy's jokes; to glaring at each other and making threatening gestures the moment she looks away; then right back to acting like they're friends.
  • Stan upon seeing Mabel brought him to a high place despite her promise: "Yeah, that was pretty much what I expected."
  • Soos talking about how dangerous teenagers are; "My cousin Reggie got into a fight with a teen once; the dude broke like all his arms, all his legs, and like totally killed him or something, I don't know. Me and Reggie were just talking about it."

Little Dipper

  • Stan being visited by a man in a suit:
    Man in suit: Stan Pines?
    Stan: The tax collector! You found me! (uses a smokescreen to escape and tries to flee with his money)
  • When Gideon thinks he's tricked Stan into signing over the Mystery Shack: "The Mystery Shack is hereby signed over to... suck a lemon, little man?!"
  • In the opening, just before the theme song starts playing:
    Stan: Wanna see what else is on TV?
    Dipper: Yeah, alright.
    Mabel: My favorite part's the theme song. (cue theme song)
  • The endless parade of short jokes at Dipper's expense.
    Soos: Dudes, maybe you should lay off a tiny bit.
    Stan: Ha! Tiny! Soos is in on it now!
  • The chess game between Dipper and Mabel at the beginning
    Dipper: It's a pawn, that's not your color, and stop stealing the tiny horses.
    Mabel: *all of the knight pieces are stuffed in her sweater* They like it better in here. *to the horses* Don't you babies? *horse whinny*
  • Dipper playing with the grow/shrink crystal.
    Dipper: Smaller... *shrinks the pawn piece* ... bigger... *pawn piece grows and suddenly breaks through the roof* ... too big!
    • Later, the giant pawn is still there. Apparently Dipper didn't shrink it back because that would leave a huge hole in the roof.
  • When Mabel thinks Dipper's growth spurt was caused by a wizard.
    Mabel: This is some kind of magicky thing isn't it? Was it a wizard or something? There's a wizard in this closet isn't there? Isn't there?
    Dipper: What? No!
    Mabel: You're telling me there is not a wizard in this closet? You're telling me that if I open this door right now—
    Dipper: Fine, open it.
    (Mabel opens the closet door to reveal nothing but two shirts and a pair of boots.)
    Mabel: An invisible wizard! Really, Dipper?
    • Even funnier is that she still thinks there's a Invisible Wizard in the closet even after Dipper reveals the shrinking crystal and its properties.
  • Bud Gleeful selling Old Man McGucket a car. "Engine possum at no extra charge!"
  • Gideon wants to learn where Dipper discovered the crystal with size changing powers. So Dipper tells him that he'll tell him if he leans in closer. Surprise, there's an air horn there.
  • "'Text me a photo'? Now you're not even speaking English!"
  • "WHAT AM I DOIN'!?"
  • "Cheekums, to freedom! (beat) To freedom! (beat) Aw, you're just a big ol' dummy-dumb, aren't you?"
  • Gideon's conversations with his parents. All of them.
    • In this episode, we finally get to see Gideon's mom, who has grey hair and always looks paranoid, as if she hasn't slept in weeks.
    Gideon's Mom: Just keep vacuuming. Just keep vacuuming.
  • This exchange:
    Lazy Susan: What cute little thing are you off to, you cute little cutie-face?
    Gideon: (cheerfully) I'm gonna annihilate my arch-enemy's entire family.
    Lazy Susan: Oh... okay. Yay...
  • Gideon being distracted from his evil plot when the Gummi Koala Mabel saved falls into his hair, and he has to get it out and fix his pompadour. "I can't defeat Stan lookin' like this!"
  • "You'll never find Stan... on the second door to the left, down the hall... Why did I say that?!"
  • Gideon advancing towards Stan and laughing psychotically when the shrunken Mabel and Dipper start tickling him. Cue Gideon falling over and rolling on the floor in laughter.
    Stan: Uh, I don't even know how to respond to this.
  • "MY LIGHT!"
    Stan: Yeah, you're the light of my life, too, pal.
  • The ending, where Dipper and Mabel destroy the crystal that can change things sizes, only for a still-shrunken Soos to find them.
    Mabel: Glue.
    Dipper: Lots of glue!
    • Soos' shrinking in general was pretty funny, when Gideon shrunk the first thing in a fez he saw, and it just ended up being Soos trying on Stan's.
    Soos: Alright, something's definitely different here...
  • "Oh hi, Gideon; I was looking for someone to try out my mirror maze, but then again, you're an idiot. (beat) That's the end of the sentence."


  • "I ate a man alive tonight."
  • Stan explains to Dipper about Summerween with a calender.
    Dipper: Do you always carry that calender in your pocket?
    Stan: ...Yes.
  • Stan finally manages to scare those two trick-or-treaters when they see him without a towel on as he is about to take a bath. Not many things can be so hilariously traumatizing as that.
  • Gorney, the new kid who gets swallowed whole in the first five minutes of the episode, popping up at the end.
    Gorney: (cheerfully) I've been twaumatized!
    • Not to mention his introduction:
    Gorney: Hi evewyone! My name is Gorney!
    ''(The Trickster throws him into its mouth)
    Gorney: WEMEMBUH ME!!!
  • Manly Dan leads his sons on a siege into someone's house to get candy. They're all dressed as vikings, and Dan's wearing Valkyrie braids under his helmet.
    Manly Dan: For glory!
  • Dipper and Mabel's "Twins" dance.
  • The various Waddles memes during the credits.
  • Toby Determined and Old Man McGucket.
    • Once the four receive the last Jack-O-Melon, they all give a sigh of relief at the same time and blow it out.
  • The loser candy, which include Homework: The Candy, Mr. Adequate-Bar, and Gelatin Product.
  • The Summerween Trickster's description of what he is,
    Summerween Trickster: I'm made of every tossed piece of black licorice, every discarded bar of old chocolate with like, that white powder stuff on it. You know that stuff!?
    Mabel: I hate that stuff!
  • From the cold open:
    Store Clerk: Have the police come & eject the Pines family from the store.
    Grunkle Stan: NOT TODAY!
    (Stan throws a smoke bomb at the clerk's face)
    Store Clerk: MY EYES!
    (Stan pays for the stuff with "Stan Bucks" which is badly drawn in pad paper)
    Store Clerk: I hate Summerween.
    (Stan knocks down an electric pole in reverse)
    Grunkle Stan: LET'S MOVE!
  • Soos' love for the chattering Summerween Skull. So much that when everyone is trying to escape the Trickster at the end, not only does he go out of his way press the skull when the exit is right next to them and unguarded, he changes the batteries on the skull to make it work when it doesn't the first time.
    Mabel: Soos! Don't you dare!
    Soos: Sorry, dude. Tonight's been way stressful. I need some levity.
    • Soos eats his way out of the Summerween Trickster Alien chestburster style.

Boss Mabel

  • "Remember folks, we put the 'fun' in 'no refunds'!"
  • "You think you could wear this hat?" "Yeah, 'cause I give people respect, and glittery stickers!"
  • Stan and Mabel making their wager.
    Stan: You got yourself a deal, missy!
    Stan: Deal!
    Mabel: Deal!
    Stan: Deal!
    Mabel: Deal! (beat, slaps sticker on Stan's nose) Deal.
  • "Mabel's in charge now!"
    Dipper: Are those shoulder pads?
    Mabel: Uh-huuuuh. It's just one of the many up-to-date managerial tricks I learned from this book I found propping up the kitchen table. (Holds up a book titled "Succeeding In Management 1983")
  • When Dipper sets out to catch a supernatural creature. He grabs a flail that's as big as he is, and ends up falling out the window.
  • Mabel giving Waddles money for a coffee run. Waddles just eats the money.
  • Grunkle Stan using his "old man powers", faking a heart-attack which he claims can only be cured by putting him on a game show.
    Cash Wheel Host: That man is a self-centered attention hog with no regard for human decency... Get him on TV!
  • The cheesy song that plays over the montage: "Come on girls! Shoulder pads! Make that money! Mabel’s the boss now!"
  • Soos "Questiony The Question Mark" costume, and its... limited success with customers.
    Customer: (screams and sprays Soos in the face with mace)
  • Gunkle Stan taking a literal money shower.
    Cash Wheel Host: Uh, Mr. Pines, you don't need to take your clothes off—go to commercial! GO TO COMMERCIAL! (runs up to the camera and covers it just as Stan takes his undies off).
  • Mabel lets Soos take a soothing nature walk... and he promptly gets lost. Also, he's still wearing his Questiony the Question-Mark costume.
    Soos: Hello? Civilization? (lightning flashes, a wolf howls) Doggie?
  • "'When fighting the gremloblin, use water... [turns page while Mabel runs out and splashes water on the monster] ...only as a last resort, as it will only make it scarier.' Who writes sentences like that?!"
  • The gremloblin's odd fixation with the electronic talking fish.
    I'm the Singin' Salmon, spendin' all day jammin'!
  • The Gremloblin's worst fear: "You've become your father!"
  • Stan's apology dance, and the song that goes with it:
    I'm Stan, and I was wrong
    I'm singing the Stan Wrong Song
    I shouldn't have taken that chance
    Now here's my remorseful dance!
    • And afterwards:
      Mabel: What do you think?
      Waddles: (oink)
      Mabel: TAKE THIRTY!

Bottomless Pit

  • "Spin the Pig"
    Mabel: Hey, Grunkle Stan, ever kissed a pig before?
    Stan: I'm not gonna answer that question.
  • The headline of the Gravity Falls Gossiper Grunkle Stan is reading: "Reporter Calls Mom".
  • Soos's techno-remix of Dipper's "squeaky puberty voice".
  • "Why did you spit on your hand?" "I don't rightly know!"
  • Old Man McGucket's HORRIFYING VOICE!
    A nearby child starts crying and runs off
    McGucket: You can run, but I'll still be in your nightmares!
  • Anything said by Dipper with his new voice, and the others' reactions to it. It doesn't hurt that he just happens to sound like Abridged Yami.
    Mabel: (beating Dipper with a golf club) Who are you? What have you done with my brother?!
    Soos: (beating Dipper with a broom) Kill it! Kill it with fire! Everyone, flee!
  • When Soos says Dipper sounds like "some weird commercial dude", this is Dipper's response:
    Dipper: I'll find Stan! He'll like my new voice, you'll see! I'll be right back after these messages! ... I mean, goodbye.
  • Mabel and Soos playing I Spy while falling through the void.
    Mabel: I spy with my little eye something... black!
    Soos: Oh oh, everything!
    Mabel: Hooray for Soos!
    • And then what follows:
    Mabel: Hey guys, who wants to pass the time by spinning? Everyone spin!
    Dipper: No.
    Mabel: Wheeeee!
    [spins Dipper, he screams, then Soos chuckles]
    Mabel: [running on Dipper] Wheeeeeeeeeeee! Hahahahahahahahaha!
    Dipper: Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow...
  • Dipper slowly floating in the distance while screaming as Soos is getting ready to begin his story.
  • The full title of Soos' story.
  • Soos' previous best moment of his life (eating a slice of pizza that he found jammed inside a VCR).
  • After Soos angers the Tumbleweed Terror machine:
    Dipper: Uh, guys, there's an awful lot of green lightning coming out of that game...
    Soos: Nah, that's the normal amount of green lightning.
  • This:
    Soos: Are either of you good at jumping up and down and making annoying noises?
    (Mabel turns dramatically)
    Mabel: My time has come.
  • "Prepare to meet your maker! My maker is Ballway Games!"
  • Stan's story, which is basically a Her Codename Was Mary Sue, about Stan winning the Football Bowl with the help of his football playing robot. The twins and Soos immediately voice their disapproval.
    Stan: That story was great! I even threw in a robot for the kids!
  • Mabel talking for Waddles.
  • Stan's sudden and out of nowhere speech about life, which is so dark and depressing, it reduces Dipper to the brink of tears and sends Mabel into a Heroic BSOD.
    Stan: Sometimes I wonder... is this all there is? Is life just some sort of horrific joke without a punchline, and we're all just biding our time until the sweet, sweet release of death?
  • After Mabel lies to Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland, claiming that Grunkle Stan is secretly a crime fiction writer, Deputy Durland has this to say:
    Deputy Durland: Wow, an author! Can you teach me how to read?
    • And it becomes even funnier when you realize that it's a Call Back to "Irrational Treasure," when Mabel told Dipper that she didn't think "the one with the bell" could read. Fridge Brilliance then kicks in since Mabel is the narrator of this particular tale.
  • Stan doing his taxes while under the influence of the Truth Teeth, which just consists of him scribbling I HAVE COMMITTED TAX FRAUD across the form.
    Dipper: Grunkle Stan, why did you write this?
    Stan: Because I regularly commit massive tax fraud.
    Dipper *feeds the form into a paper shredder* Might want to just... store that away.
    • This is followed up at the end of the story, where Mabel has just managed to get rid of the cops, only for Stan to call up the police station.
    Stan: Yeah, this is Stan Pines. I forgot to tell the officers about my tax fraud. No no, tax fraud. *gets tackled to the ground by Mabel and Dipper*
  • Stan falling into the Bottomless Pit again at the end of the episode, and falls through the void in grumpy silence through the credits.
    Stan: This is stupid.

The Deep End

  • At the beginning a squirrel combusts from the heat.
  • "All those in favor of doing nothing all day, say 'UUUUGH'."
  • Stan sweating so much he sticks to the floor and ends up tearing up part of the floorboards when he gets up.
  • Also at the beginning...
    Announcer: And remember to be on alert for random wildfires!
    Grunkle Stan (offscreen): Wait, what? *fwoosh* AARGH!
    Mabel: He'll be fine.
  • When Wendy throws water balloons at Stan:
  • This exchange:
    Dipper: Wow, you work here?
    Wendy: I found out lifeguards get free snack privileges. Plus, I got the best seat in the house.
    Dipper: Yeah, you do! Ha ha ha ha ha! A-huh, a-ha ha ha ha ha... I've been laughing for too long.
  • Mr. Poolcheck's overzealous attitude towards "pool law".
    Dipper: He seems emotionally unstable.
    • At one point he cries when he finds Dipper goofing off on duty with Wendy.
    • After Dipper and Mabel break in and free Mermando, he not only fires Dipper, but eats his whistle. You can hear it whistle as he chews it up and swallows it. Poolchek then tempts fate by snarling, "If one more thing goes wrong today..." Cue Soos attempting to escape with the pool ducks.
    Soos: Pool ducks unite!
  • That poor kid in pool solitary confinement. His predicament goes from funny to tragic and back again once you see just how long he's in there.
    Kid: It's the nights that are the hardest.
    Kid: Go Mabel! Go! (turns melancholy) We can't all be saved.
    • Finally, the credits sequence where a montage shows him locked in there over the seasons.
  • This exchange:
    Mabel: A merman! Ha! I should have known from your strange foreign fish language.
    Mermando: (completely deadpan) It is Spanish.
  • Mermando introducing himself:
    "There are some who call me... (pulls a guitar out of nowhere and plays a mariachi riff) Mermando! (Beat) This is because Mermando is my name."
  • Mermando's initial escape attempt.
  • Stan's little feud with Gideon over the Perfect Pool Chair. At one point Stan tries to get Gideon by reflecting sunlight off his watch.
    Stan: Yes, yes! Burn the child.
  • When appointed lifeguard, Dipper and Wendy quickly abuse their power, playing pranks on swimmers. In one instance they trick Soos into thinking the rubber pool duck rings are alive and want to be free.
    • Towards the end of the episode, he manages to "free" them.
    Soos: The inflatable pool duck revolution is at hand!
  • Dipper has to guard the pool supplies from more looting. He has to stop Grunkle Stan from entering and stealing in the pool, and Mabel from stealing the cooler to save Mermando and Soos from freeing the duck rings.
    Dipper: Is Soos here too!?
    (Soos climbs over the fence behind Dipper. Dipper doesn't even turn around)
    Soos: I'm ok.
    Dipper: (still not turning around) Go home, Soos.
    Soos: You got it.
    • Dipper asks if Stan is the one who's been destroying pool supplies. Stan protests that his crime is much better, and that he's going to steal the chair before Gideon. He then adds "and then maybe I'll wreck some pool stuff. Night's still young."
  • As Mermando told Mabel to never reveal his secret, Dipper had no idea why Mabel was trying to steal the pool supplies. His reaction when he finds out:
  • The entire 'Reverse CPR' scene.
    Mabel: [takes picture] Hah, blackmail!
  • Mabel mentions never meeting anyone like Mermando, except for a zombie, some gnomes, and some vampires.
    Dipper: I don't remember the vampires.
  • Dipper's reaction to Mermando kissing his sister: "Whoa! Okay! That's gross!"
  • After Mabel and Mermando have their moment:
    Mabel: (dancing in excitement) Woohoo! That was my first kiss! (poking Dipper) Hey, it was also kinda your first kiss too!
    Dipper: (shuddering) Please don't involve me in this.
  • Mermando's letter to Mabel in the end:
    "Our first kiss will always hold a place in my heart. ...technically hearts. As a merman I have... like, 17 hearts. Horrifying, but true!"

Carpet Diem

    • And again at the end:
    Stan: "OW, MY HEAD! Why am I even out here at night?"
  • Dipper's reaction to Mabel having a sleepover with her friends.
  • One of the films in Mabel's rom-com collection is titled "Oh No She Di'n't!"
  • This:
    Candy: Boys make me think about kissing!
    Grenda: Candy! Oh my gosh! *throws a pillow at her face*
  • Dipper decides that having a wolf gnaw on his leg is better than the noise from Mabel's sleepover.
  • The aftermath of the sleepover. Somehow, Candy winds up duct taped to the ceiling, Mabel wakes up with "Party Gurl" written on her forehead, and Grenda emerges from the closet covered in kiss marks.
    Grenda: I don't know what I was kissing in there, but I have no regrets!
  • Apparently Dipper keeps Mabel up with his late night reading.
    Dipper: Oh ho! Hm... Interesting. But who stole the capers? Hmm... (begins rapidly clicking pen)
  • Grunkle Stan's choice of television:
    Grunkle Stan: (Watching two guys shoving each other) Fight! Fight! Fight! (Changes channel to two deer bucking heads) Fight! Fight! Fight! (Changes channel to two babies sitting peacefully and giggling) Fight! Fight! Fight! (Someone offscreen pokes a baby with a stick and they begin slapping each other) Fight! Fight! Fight!
    Announcer: BABY FIGHTS!
    Grunkle Stan: TV, it knows what I want!

    Subtitle: I didn't come here to make friends.
  • "Magic money pants?"
  • Stan giving out "suck-up points":
    Stan: Ah, that's refreshing. Ten suck up points to this lemonade! (Hight piched voice) Thank you, Stan!
  • "Nobody thinks it's cute when I lie naked on the living room floor!"
  • Pig Soos.
  • Mabel (in Dipper's body) getting The Talk from Grunkle Stan.
    Mabel: Goodbye, childhood...
  • Candy in Dipper's body:
    Candy: I'm a boy now! Whassup bro? Let's grow some mustaches!
  • The whole body-switching thing near the end.
    Grenda: (in Old Man McGucket's body) Cool, I'm Santa Claus!
    Old Man McGucket: (in Candy's body) Hoo-ee! I've regained my innocence!
    Dipper: (in Waddles' body) Well, I guess I'm a pig now. So that's a thing. (eats an apple core) Om nom nom nom nom.
  • Soos' reaction to a stranger saying she'll marry him and planting a kiss on him is to basically shrug and go with it.
    • Then, during the credits;
    Woman: (Crying) I don't think I can do this anymore... You just seem so different!
    Soos: Look, dude, uh, I'm playin' a little bit of catch-up here... I was in a pig's body for most of the day. Wha-what's goin' on? (Beat) Can we kiss again? Is that an option?
  • Waddles in Soos body just randomly flailing around and bumping into things, having no idea how to stand on two legs.

Boyz Crazy

  • At the beginning where Wendy and Dipper are watching the cameras.
    Dipper mimicking customer: Do you have this t-shirt in my size?
    Wendy mimicking Stan: I have something even better! Behold, my butt.
    • As they laugh at this, Dipper resumes his habit of declaring his love for Wendy under his breath.
    Dipper: Ahahaha! (suddenly staring longingly at Wendy) I could play this game forever...
    Wendy: What'd you say?
    Dipper: Coughing! I was coughing! Those weren't words!
  • "You're making my dance sad."
  • Dipper giving Waddles a triumphant hug when it looks like Wendy's going to break up with Robbie.
  • Candy, after hearing that the concert is sold out, deciding to simply faceplant and mumble "I welcome you, death."
  • "I'm not going to let a 'Keep Out' sign keep us out!"
  • Stan casually stocking up for the apocalypse while singing about how everyone's gonna die.
  • Stan's flashback ends with his ex-girlfriend's hot-pants literally turning into bell-bottoms, and her and her new hippie boyfriend taking off like a rocket, leaving a trail of rainbows.
    Stan: My memories get a little hallucination-y at the end, but you get the gist.
  • The Cute Biker showing up at the Sev'ral Timez concert when a fight breaks out.
  • "Tryin' hard to not let my brain explode!"
  • "Yo, I heard'a these things called 'trees'...I dunno what they are, but I wanna kiss one."
  • Grunkle Stan's "Subtle" music played over the PA system, to convince people to buy stuff.
  • Stan tries playing Robbie's CD on a record player.
    Stan: We're doin' something wrong here, but I can't put my finger on it...
  • The girls sneaking Sev'ral Timez into the Shack using a very large duffel bag.
    Dipper: How was the concert? And what's in that bag?
    Candy: We are criminals! We will cut you!
    Mabel: Let's go away from here now!
    • Candy's accent and expression seals it.
  • Chubby Z trying to stare down the sun.
    • And calling Mabel "Beef".
    • And Greggy C trying to eat a tape dispenser.
      Other Band Member: Yo, you gonna share that?
    • "I wanna cavort like a woodland creature!"
  • Soos's cameo.
  • Mabel trying to teach the members of Sev'ral Timez how to drink from a glass. They're not very good at it.
  • Stan preparing for a Spit Take as he and Dipper try to search Robbie's song for secret messages. And when they initially don't find one...
    Stan: That's not spit-worthy! What gives?
  • Stan's lines for this episode:
    Stan: We're gonna get to the bottom of this... as soon as I get to the bottom of this brown meat! It's apocalicious!
    Stan: Road safety laws, prepare to be ignored!
    Stan: That's MR. PINES to you!
    Stan: Finally, a good reason to punch a teenager in the face!
    Stan: This is a victory for every guy whose hands were too weak or fat to play a musical instrument!
    Stan: (talking to Robbie after Wendy breaks up with him) Look, if it makes ya feel any better, the apocalypse is coming soon. Bury your gold! (Beat)'ve been buying gold, right?
    Stan: Darn beautiful men, always eating out of my trash! Wait… what?
  • "Oh, no! They're aggressively dancing at us!"
  • "Songs are like hugs that mouths give to ears!"
  • When watching Sev'ral Timez go into the forest, we get this priceless comment from Candy:
    Candy: They won't last a week.

The Land Before Swine

  • Mabel's impression of her brother:
    Mabel: (puts on a pine-tree hat) Ooh, let's solve a mystery! I kiss a pillow with Wendy's face drawn on it!
  • Mabel's affection for Waddles is hysterical. The way she treats him as a person, from making him do dance moves, pose for pictures, and knitting matching sweaters, is both adorable and hilarious.
  • "It's not my fault your pig's potentially delicious!"
  • The Parody Commercial for the Huggy Wuvvy Tummy Bundle.
  • Grunkle Stan trying to bribe Waddles.
  • "The good news is you're getting a puppy."
  • "Your pig got eaten by a p-terodacytl, bro."
  • Grunkle Stan's BS story about how Waddles disappeared. He basically makes up a story about him nursing Waddles with a bottle of cream when the pterodactyl burst through the door and took him, with Stan desperately trying to save him, but getting overpowered.
  • "Dinosaurs aren't magic, they're just big lizards! Get off my back!"
  • This:
    Soos: Woah, almost ran over my head there, haha! (beat; he looks scared) Wow.
  • The montage of Soos messing stuff up, especially Dipper and Mabel's faces when Soos kills a fairy with a flyswatter.
  • This exchange:
    Dipper: McGucket, do you have an invention that could distract the pterodactyl?
    Old Man McGucket: Do I?! (rummages through his hat) Nope!
  • Waddles trying to guilt-trip Stan.
  • The way everybody thinks the new born pterodactyl is adorable until it eats Old Man McGucket alive.
    • Gets even better when Old Man McGucket reverses it near the end, by eating himself out of the pterodactyl. Crosses with Moment of Awesome and Nightmare Fuel.
    Old Man McGucket: Well, welcome to the world, little fella. Gets eaten alive.
  • Stan puts his hand in tree sap, places his hand on Mabel's face; they laugh, realize they're stuck, and scream.
  • In the episode's stinger Dipper and Soos are watching an infomercial before Dipper makes a comment about how stupid the infomercial itself is. Soos agrees before it's revealed he ordered from it and he quietly calls them back.
    Soos: Cancel the order, cancel the order!


  • After seeing a commercial announcing that Gideon plans to put his Tent o' Telepathy where the Mystery Shack is, Dipper asks if they should worry:
    Stan: Please, the only way Gideon's taking over the Shack is by breaking in and stealing my deed.
    (The sound of a smashing window offscreen is hear)
    Wendy: You mean like, now?
  • Gideon is caught trying to crack Stan's safe;
    Gideon: Stanford Pines, my arch-nemesis! It seems we've entered a dangerous game of cat-and-mouse. But the question remains, who is the cat, and who is the-
    Gideon: Oh no, not the broom!
    • Even funnier is that Gideon hisses and meows like a cat when Stan beats him with the broom.
    • Even funnier because it's implied that Stan and Gideon have done this all before.
  • Grandpa the Kid.
  • Soos: "It tried to touch me with its weird little bat-fingers!" His face is priceless.
  • Soos trying to lick his elbow.
    "Like the infinite horizon, it eludes my grasp."
  • Gideon chants backmasked words to summon Bill Cipher. What are the actual words said backwards? "Backwards message".
  • Bill manages to be both funny and unnerving.
    Bill: Hey! Look what I can do.
    (Bill magics the teeth of a deer from its mouth to his hand)
    Bill: Deer teeth! For you, kid. Ahahahahaha!
    • Also this bit:
    Gideon: You're Insane!
    Bill: Sure I am! What's your point?
  • "Arm throne!"
    • Makes for a nice call back since Mabel is now riding arm throne style on the arms of the two guys in the car from "The Legend of the Gobblewonker" that she told could look but couldn't touch. .
  • Stan's "top secret" memory...he's playing with his stomach and calling it "Mr. Tummy."
  • Stan's date with Lazy Susan.
    Stan: (thinking) This is going terrible, I can't think of anything to say and she looks weird up close. Think of a way out. (out loud) NON SPECIFIC EXCUSE!! (Swats his food off the table and runs off.)
  • Uncute Mabel.
    Mabel: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! MY CUTENESS!!!! WHAT DID (her voice gets gradually lower) YOU Dooo tooooo myyyyy cuuuuuuteneeeeesssssssssh?
  • Part of the incantation to enter Stan's mind is "Inceptus Nolanus Overratus!"
  • Xyler and Craz's Totally Radical speech, as well as their tendency to state obvious or offhand things.
    Craz: Let's go, Xyler!
    Xyler: All right, Craz! Those are our names!
  • The Un Reveal of the secret passage behind the Vending Machine;
    Memory!Stan: If only people knew the truth, that secretly hidden behind this vending machine I have-
    Soos!Bill: Boring! (closes door)
  • The memory of Stan in prison, which on its own qualifies as a Brick Joke from an offhand statement in The Hand That Rocks The Mabel
    Memory!Stan: Jorge, Rico, you're the two best Columbian prison friends a fella could make.
    Jorge: (subtitles) I hope he dies.
    Rico: (Subtitles) Si.
  • The memory of Stan selling vacuums;
    Memory!Stan: Sir, would you like to buy a Stan-Vac vacuum? Stan-vac! It sucks more than anything! (Door slams) Gotta work on that.
  • The result of Stan's boxing lessons:
    Memory!Stan: LEFT HOOK!
  • Xyler and Kraz dancing when Bill says he's going to destroy them, which is itself a direct visual reference to an infamous moment from the New Kids on the Block cartoon series.
  • The British dog man.
    • "Haha. He's dead now."
  • Mabel growing kittens for fists, which she shoots at Bill.
  • Soos thinking that "the fat one" refers to Mabel.
  • "It's funny how dumb you are."
  • A bat version of Grunkle Stan shows up shouting "NO REFUNDS! NO REFUNDS! NO REFUNDS!"

Gideon Rises

  • Soos's very late Last-Second Word Swap when he almost outs Dipper's crush on Wendy.
    Dipper: We need you here!
    Soos: Yeah, especially Dipper. Because of his huge crush on...(beat) yooouuu-
    Several seconds of awkward silence
    Soos: -calyptus trees! The kid loves eucalyptus trees! Heh heh! Heh heh! Heh heh! Saved it.
  • Soos working at the diner.
    Stan: The entire lower half of your body is on fire.
    Soos: Shh. We're having a moment.
  • Stan planting a kiss on Soos's grandma after realizing Gideon's weakness.
    Soos's Grandma: I go vacuum my face now.
  • During the newscast about Gideon taking the Mystery Shack, they show a photo of Stan in a devil costume, dancing amongst flames.
    Stan: That picture's taken out of context.
  • The return of Mabel's grappling hook!
    Dipper: Mabel, that grappling hook's literally never helped us before.
    • And then it does.
  • Jeff and the Gnomes think Gideon is a girl, Gideon's reaction and tone of voice is actually hilarous!
    "I AM NOT A GIRL!"
    • It also doesn't help when Jeff points out he does use a lot of moisturizer... the same one he stole from Wendy in the past.
  • Soos consulting the Bus manual when attacked by Mecha Gideon
    Soos: Okay, what's more like our present situation, raccoon in the engine or an angry grandparent won't leave bus? (Beat) Probably the second one.
  • When the town discovers Gideon's lies, Sheriff Blubs turns to the Cute Biker (whose name is revealed to be Tyler).
    Tyler: (sadly) Get 'im. Get 'im.
  • After Gideon is arrested, there is a newspaper reporting this, with a quote from Bud at the bottom saying "He could use a time out."
  • Robbie chasing after Wendy, wondering he hadn't sent enough text messages.
    "My arms are too skinny to hold up this boom box forever!"
  • Mabel on Soos' grandmother;
    Mabel: Soos, your grandmother is adorable! and her skin is old lady soft. (Touches Abuelita's cheek) Ahh...
    Stan: Mabel! Quit acting creepy!

    Between-Season Shorts 

Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained

  • Candy Monster
    • Soos thinking the candy monster is Stan.
    • Also, Dipper's "armor", which is just a bunch of stuffed animals tapped all over his body.
    • Mabel throwing a teddy bear at the monster on the ceiling, only to have it fall and hit her in the face.
  • In "Stan's Tattoo", they decide to take extreme measures in regards to seeing his tattoo: looking at him in the shower. It fails. Stan is wearing his usual attire, implied to be because he knew Dipper was going to try this.
    Dipper: How long have you been standing there?!
    • Stan writing "Goober" on Dipper's forehead.
    • "Watch the shop for a minute, Soos. I need to find a melon-baller and pull my eyeballs out."
  • The Mailbox
    • The first letter Soos puts in the mailbox; "My letter posits a serious question: ''Sup, dawg?'"
    • Mabel angering the titular object of "Mailbox" by mailing it a video of her shoving gummy worms up her nose.
    • One of Soos questions was "What did I shave into my head this morning?" It was a duck playing paddle-ball.
    Soos: (Freaked out) Dude, it knew!
  • The Tooth
    • Dipper telling Mabel that everyone hates her creepy childhood doll Bear-O, a worn out old teddy bear with a stupid look on its face that she insists on using as a ventriloquist dummy. Mabel replies that not everyone does. Cut to her giving a performance with Bear-O at a local Suck E. Cheese's surrounded by crying children.
    Random child: I HATE BEAR-O MOMMY!
    • How Dipper found the tooth:
    Dipper: I found it while I was, uh, practicing.
    *cut to Dipper randomly playing the sousaphone by the lake*
    Dipper: Hey, is that a giant tooth?
  • Lefty
    Dipper: *while running away from the scene* That was, uh, Unexplained Mysteries #76. We should probably burn this tape.
    • Mabel's theories regarding "Lefty".
    Mabel: ...And theory number three, my personal favorite: He's normal! And Dipper's just crazy!
    Dipper: [grabs the drawing away] That's not a theory, that doesn't count as a theory!
  • The Hide Behind
    • When Dipper is interviewing Manly Dan (Lumbjerack/Punching Enthusiast), Dan's sons are chopping a tree in the background. It falls on a house.
    Oldest Son: Uh, dad?
    Manly Dan: DADDY'S DOIN' A MOVIE!! He's doin' a movie now...
    • Lazy Susan (Waitress/Smells like onions) trying to check to see if the Hide Behind is behind her by spinning around, spilling coffee everywhere, to the exasperation of another diner patron. Better yet, during Stan's (Great Uncle/Mediocre Boss) interview, when he says that the people of Gravity Falls are literally the dumbest on Earth, it cuts back to Lazy Susan, still spinning around.

Mabel's Guide To Life

  • Dating
    • Cardboard Zack.
      "Zack": Mabel, I love you so much baby! Why won't you let me into your life?
      Mabel: You Know What You Did, Zack!
    • Soos somehow scoring a 12 out of 5 on Mabel's 9000 question survey. His rank? "Total Hunk"
      Soos: My grandmother was right, I AM the perfect man! *several birds land on his shoulders*
    • Stan scoring 3 out of 5, giving him the rank of "Dateable". Mabel says that this limits his selection to widows, lady plumbers, and convicts.
      Stan: I still consider this a victory.
      • Mabel refusing to tell Dipper his score, but gives him the rank of Questionable.
    • Grunkle Stan gets a question revolving around men paying for dinner at every date. His response? "What is this, Russia?"
    • "'How do you treat a gal?' Well, hovering nearby and laughing at everything she says, obviously! Nailing this..."
  • Stickers
    • Hair topiary.
      Dipper: What is it?
      Mabel: It's an ostrich. It's clearly an ostrich.
      Mabel: Ca-Caw!
    • If you read the text in Mabel's book on Aztec history, it talks about the Aztec ritual that gives a dog the ability to speak English and play basketball. The rest of the text is the plot of Air Bud.
    • "Yeah, Aztec war paint was exactly like a Rasta orange."
    • Mabel's "Payment" for a "Baby On Board" sticker. A giant vat of sprinkles. For extra points, Grunkle Stan wanted the sticker to 'get the cops off his back.'
      Mabel: I'm gonna get so sick...
    • Mabel constantly editing Dipper out of her video. And then editing Soos in. With a drink and a sandwich.
      Soos: Wha? How did I get here?
  • Fashion
    • Flash Makeovers. Which is just Grenda tackling an unsuspecting subject while Mabel makes them over. Also, Grunkle Stan can be heard singing the "Stan Wrong Song".
    • Their makeover for Soos? Dressing him as Jareth. He complains the pants are too tight.
      • Stan's makeover is just giving him a tiger face paint. He quite likes his new look.
  • Colors
  • Art
    • Mabel's unduly frank review of an elephant trying to paint.
    "Even ol' Jumbo's getting in on the act! Haha, don't quit your day job, Jumbo! That's... that's really bad."
    • Mabel's inspiration: a goofy caricature of her brother on a surfboard with the caption "Lady's Man." Dipper is obvious mortified.
    Mabel: But everything changed when I saw this amazing caricature!
    Dipper: (reaching in from offscreen and snatching the picture) Gimme that! Gimme that!
    • Caticatures. And the more troublesome Humanicaticatures.
    • "That doesn't look anything like-" "YOU'RE RIGHT, IT DOES LOOK EXACTLY LIKE YOU!"
    • Grunkle Stan wants in:
      Stan: Uh, it's just the same crummy cat face with a different hat each time.
      Mabel: Exactly! And I sell them for $10 each!
      Stan: need an agent? I am now your agent.
    • Toby Determined is given a caticature.
      Toby: It looks exactly like me! Right down to my actual cat whiskers that the doctors can't explain! *hugs the drawing* Meow meow meow!
      Mabel: You're always weirder than I remember.

Fixin' It with Soos

  • Golf Cart
    • Soos and his terrible video effects, including an "Autografix Free Trial" watermark during the intro.
    • "Hey, dudes, and welcome to Fixin' it with Soos, the show where I always forget that I'm leaning on the soldering iron." (Yells in pain)
    • Wendy and Dipper breaking the cart doing "Normal work stuff". Translation: Trying to jump it over Stan's car. It falls off the ramp...and goes aflame.
    • Wendy and Dipper's baffled reactions to Soos's hammy visual effects moments, mainly because they have no idea why he's posing dramatically and shouting "Unleash the POWERRRRRR!"
    Soos: (whipering) I'll show you guys later. (normal voice) Oh no, a bat! Laser eyes!
    Dipper: ...Still in the dark here.
    • Dipper asking if his jumpsuit would make a girl (Wendy) think he's cool. Soos's response?
      Soos: Some things... even Soos can't fix.
    • "I make my own economy!"
  • Cuckoo Clock
    • "Thanks, clip-art hand!"
    • Stan "accidentally" breaking the clock. By repeatedly smashing it with a baseball bat.
      Stan: Stop making that noise! I hate you! This is definitely not an accident!
    • "Duct tape! Wood glue! Hey, you..."
    • "Lasers. LASERS DUDE!"
    • Stan's comment after Soos and Mabel finish working on the clock.
      "You've joined forces with Mabel. This is an unsettling development."
    • The clock being permanently set to 1:50.
      Soos: It's hands are in the air like it just doesn't care.
    • The implication that the series was Cut Short due to Soos' computer exploding after creating so many of his graphics.
    "Did we get that? Save it for the explosions reel!"

TV Shorts

  • Stan's horrendous TV spot for the Mystery Shack.
    • "Mr. Mystery does not assume liability for disappointment, strange rashes or plunges into the Bottomless pit. Visitors may experience loss of balance, loss of children, or loss of wallet. Please don't look Mr. Mystery in the eye. Not responsible for uncontrolled fits of rage or fits of pants. Remember to tip your waitress. In case of no waitress, tip Mr. Mystery. In case of no tip, you will be escorted from the premises. Kids' admission is $30 because they smell bad and that one keeps doing that weird thing with his legs. Side effects may include existential quandaries and sudden moral relativism."
  • "Sometimes profound/Sometimes absurd/ It's Soos Says Some Words".
    Soos: If you accidentally eat the prize in your box of cereal, does that make you a specially marked box?
  • Blubbs and Durland's Totally Radical PSA.
    Blubbs: Here we are, two good friends at a high-school basketball game!
    Caption: Not Policemen.
    • "Who wants to go drink expired apple juice and then... kiss each other..."
    • "Uh-uh! No no! Bippity bop kazow! I can't be pressured, no way no how!"
    • The PSA ends with Wendy and her friends stealing their uniforms and squad car, leaving Blubs and Durland standing in the gym wearing their ridiculous outfits.
      "Stacey" (cross-dressed Durland): Blubs, look, our uniforms!
      Wendy: Hey there! Lookin' good, sheriff! Woo! (drives off)
  • Lil' Gideon's Big House.
    Gideon: Weekdays at six, 'til I get out!
    (An enormous bearded inmate with milk-white eyes and a crazed expression appears from behind the divider)
    Ghost Eyes: YOU BETTER LISTEN TO LIL' GIDEON! (Punches the reinforced glass hard enough to shatter it with just his bare fist)
    Gideon: (Sweetly) Thank you, Ghost Eyes.
    Ghost Eyes: I'd do anything for you, dog.
    (They fist bump; alarms begin going off)
    Gideon: Oh, no! The warden!
    Ghost Eyes: RETREAT! (Gideon hops on his back and they run away)
    Bud: "Lil Gideon's Big House" will return as soon as we contain this riot.
  • Stan's opinion of Gravity Falls Public Access television. "Beats staring at a blank wall. Barely."

Mabel's Scrapbook

  • Heist Movie
    • Grunkle Stan's expert lockpicking skills. Which consist of breaking the lock with a rock.
    • As a diversionary tactic, Dipper changes the title of the movie from "Pony Heist 2" to "Thompson Drinks Popcorn Butter".
      Thompson: What?! No, I don't!
      • He does.
    • "'Pony heist'? More like 'bologna heist'!".
  • Petting Zoo

     Season 2 


  • "Thirty long years, and it's all led up to this... my greatest achievement! ...Probably should have worn pants."
  • "Your camera's a cinder-block, Toby." "I just wanna be a part of things..."
  • Waddles as "Lord Mysteryham". "I play by me own rules, wot wot!"
    Dipper: "I don't know why I tell you things."
  • Grunkle Stan telling Waddles "You didn't see nothing!" while photocopying Journal #3.
  • "The Mystery Shack is now closed! Everybody out! I will not hesitate to use the hose on the elderly!"
  • Stan offering the agents "rare pictures of American presidents". Cue dollar bill sliding out of his sleeve.
  • "Why don't you be a normal kid? Flirt with a girl, or... steal a pie off a windowsill?"
  • "Karaoke isn't about sounding good. It's about sounding terrible together!"
  • Grenda and Candy's big entrance.
    Grenda: Smash! (plows into a pile of "Stañatas") Grenda has entered the party!
    Candy: (picking up pieces of candy) Stan's brains look delicious!
  • The Poor Man's Porn Stash in Stan's room. "Fully Clothed Women Magazine", anyone?
  • This little exchange between the twins:
    Mabel: Dipper! What is the one thing I asked you not to do tonight?
    Dipper: Raise the dead...
    Mabel: And what did you do?!
    Dipper: Raised the dead.
  • When the Mystery Shack is about to overrun by zombies, Soos states that that he's completely prepared, due to seeing dozens of horror movies. One of the zombies manages to bite and infect him as one of their own..... and he acts exactly the same he was before, aside from his new-found craving for brains.
    Zombie!Soos: On second thought, flip the script. Can I... eat your brains? "Yay" or "nay"? Seein' some "yay" faces over here.
  • The cure for zombieism apparently involves loads of formaldehyde... and cinnamon.
    • Soos might've been destroyed by Love Station Alpha's concert along with the rest of the zombies - had he not decided to just stay inside and watch TV instead.
    Zombie!Soos: RRRRRRAGH - Ooh! "Gossiping Housewives" is on!
    Zombie: (Offscreen, confused) Rrrrrrg?
    Zombie!Soos: Eh, I already sat down.
  • Mabel's failed attempts at a crowd response:
    Mabel: I say "kary," you say "oke"! Kary!
    Dipper: ...
    Mabel: Kary!
    Dipper: ...
    Mabel: Kary!
    Dipper: ...
    Mabel: I could do this all day.

    Mabel: (when the zombies attack) I say "Mabel," you say "Pines!" Mabel!
    Everyone: (screams)
    Mabel: Mabel!
    Bystander: We're all gonna die!
    Mabel: Why does that never work?
  • "Zombies and gentlemen! I'm Mabel, they're Dipper and Stan, and together we're Love Patrol Alpha!"
    Dipper: I never agreed to that name!
  • Stan's response when Mabel tries to get Dipper and Grunkle Stan to sing karaoke with her so that they can create a three-part harmony and destroy the zombies.
    Stan: Mabel, our lives may not be worth this.
  • Dipper singing the song's first two lines:
    Dipper: "Friday night and we're gonna party 'til dawn. Don't worry daddy, I've got my favorite dress on?!" Mabel, this is stupid!
  • One zombie reacts to the singing by tearing off it's own ears.
  • "I can make noises with my body! Sometimes intentionally!"

Into the Bunker

  • The black-and-white (pseudo-)zombie film Nearly Almost Dead But Not Quite! from Good Enough Pictures.
    Dipper: Man, these movies are a lot less scary when you've actually fought real zombies.
    Wendy: (To the TV) They're slow! Just power walk away from them!
    Dipper: How much you wanna bet that guy dies first?
    Wendy: (She and Dipper laugh) Chadley ain't pretty no more!
  • "Dude, you're laying on my bra." Cue scream from Dipper.
  • Grunkle Stan blatantly bribing the contractor after claiming the damage to the Mystery Shack was done by "a big woodpecker".
    Stan: I'm winking under my eye-patch...
    Contractor: Works for me.
  • The Cutaway Gag involving Manly Dan repeatedly banging his head against the kitchen ceiling. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Who put that wall there? Ow!"
  • Mabel and her "skeptic-les".
  • Soos opens the weapons cabinet in the fallout shelter, and is shocked to find... a Shmez Dispender. "What's that? Yes, I will have some of your old-timey face-food!"
  • "This room is way creepy..." "Not as creepy as Dipper's internet history! Hey-o!"
  • "It's hard to be scared with caterpillars on your face."
  • The contrast of the super-serious look on Mabel's face and her silly inner monologue while she plans to give Dipper a "push" in admitting his feelings for Wendy.
  • When Mabel locks Dipper and Wendy into the closet and yells at Dipper to tell her "the thing you've been wanting to tell her" ( Dipper's crush on Wendy, of course):
    Wendy: What's she talking about?
    Dipper: Nothing! Mabel's just been eating raw sugar packets again!
    Mabel: (munching on packets of sugar) That's beside the point!
  • Mabel and her light-up sweater.
    Soos: Dude, aren't electric clothes a fire hazard?
    Mabel: No. It's a fun hazard.
  • One that's definitely of the dark humor sort. After the Shape Shifter cruelly taunts Dipper one last time before being flash-frozen by transforming into him screaming and contorted in terror, claiming it'll be his "final moments":
    • "I'm all adventure-d out. My face is tired from doing this all day." (Makes a "screaming in terror" face)
  • After Dipper finishes talking to Wendy about his feelings, it's revealed that Mabel and Soos were eavesdropping the whole time.
  • The scene during the credits, with the "Gravity Falls Bargain Movie Showcase".

The Golf War

  • Stan-cakes.
    Stan: Who wants Stan-cakes? They're like pancakes but they probably have some of my hair in them.
    Dipper: Pass.
  • Apparently, Mabel sent an article to the Gravity Falls Gossiper (Newspaper) about summer fashion tips for squirrels.
  • After Mabel explains that her picture is going to be in the newspaper, she shows the paper to Stan and Dipper. Stan then reads...
    Stan: Pacifica Northwest declares V-necks the look of the season; What am I looking at here?
  • Stan questioning Pacifica's picture in the newspaper.
    Stan: Is it legal for a child to wear that much makeup?
  • The Gravity Falls royal discount Putt Hutt commercial was eerily specific and coincidental.
    Mabel: I need something to take my mind off of this.
    TV: Looking for a distraction from your horrible life?
    Mabel: Why, yes!
  • "And the pig can look after the house!" Cue a confused grunt from Waddles, as if he's asking "Who, me?"
  • Dipper whiffs his first swing at the first hole of the mini-golf course, and his ball promptly rolls off the green and into a water hazard.
    Mabel: Don't worry, bro, you're still... (slaps a dinosaur sticker on Dipper's cheek) ext-ROAR-dinary!
  • Grunkle Stan's reaction to Pacifica's insults: "Soos, would it be wrong to punch a child?"
  • Mabel insulting Pacifica by calling her a "A walking one-dimensional, bleached-blonde valley girl stereotype!"note 
  • Mabel's cheesy Imagine Spot about having something to brag about to Pacifica. Complete with the return of Xyler and Kraz.
    (Both Mabel and Pacifica are shopping for clothes.)
    Pacifica: Um, the section for ugly grandma clothes is over there.
    Mabel: Well, the section for people who lost at mini-golf is over there! (points to the exit)
    (Xyler and Kraz run in dressed as paramedics)
    Xyler: We came here as fast as we could.
    Kraz: We heard a little girl got seriously burned!
    Both: Ohhhhh!
    Pacifica: I'm ruined!!
  • Stan's hilarious turn-around saying.
    Stan I don't know, we'd have to break in- JUST KIDDING, LET'S BREAK IN!
  • Dipper feeding a depressed Mabel nachos while her head is resting on the table.
  • Soos and Stan chilling in the car. And the hilarious Ho Yay moment therein.
    Soos: Sure are a lotta stars out tonight...
    Stan: Well, this is gettin' weird. *leaves the car*
  • This exchange:
    Mabel: Are you guys tiny humans, or enormous mini-humans?
    Franz: Neither; We're Lilliputtians! Lilli, lilliputt, the name makes more sense written out than spoken.
  • Dipper and Mabel complimenting the Dutch Lilliputtians' ability to control the balls and sink a golf ball into a hole.
    Mabel: That's amazing!
    Dipper: And so needlessly complicated!
  • When the Dutch Lilliputians get ready to elaborate through song Dipper turns them down. When everyone groans and leaves, Franz makes a perfect frowny face.
  • During the showing of the Eiffel Tower hole, the French Lilliputtians say this:
    First Frenchman: Shut your mouths, you showboating pirates! Everyone knows ze Eiffel Tower hole is ze best in ze park!
  • Mabel's reaction to the vicious battle between the tribes of Lilliputtians: "Your fighting is inadvertently adorable!"
  • How Dipper justifies using the help of the Lilliputtians to beat Pacifica.
    Dipper: Pacifica's rich, Mabel. She's cheating at life!
  • The constant petty bickering between the tribes of Lilliputtians is hilarious at times:
    Franz: (to the Pirate Captain) I will not be insulted by a man with no depth perception wearing earrings!
  • Big Henry, the muscular Lilliputtian's Heroic Sacrifice was played so dramatically it was even kinda hilarious, especially interspersed with a brief moment where Pacifica and Mabel are just waiting for the golf ball to reappear.
  • Dipper's imitation of Pacifica's face when she's upset.
    "I'm thinking it'll be, like, 'UGH'. Y' know how she does that? 'UGH'."
  • Mabel's moment of conscience is posed by her as so: "Dipper, is it bad that I feel good about her feeling bad?"
  • Mabel's attempt at appealing for peace:
    Mabel: Why can't you just get along?
    Dutch Lilliputtian: Because we hate each other!
    Pirate Lilliputtian: That's kinda how rivalries work, lass.
  • Pacifica gets tied up by the Lilliputtians and she says she'll go call her parents. She asks where her phone is, and some of the Lilliputtians have it, one writing up a message just saying "U R DUMM" to one of Pacifica's friends, all the while giggling.
  • Franz's narrow-minded assumption at what's better than beating Pacifica in mini golf. Killing her, right?
  • Dipper assures Pacifica's mini-golf trainer, Sergei, that he can't possibly drown in the shallow waters around the Pirate hole. Sergei falls face first into the water. Also, he's tied up.
    Dipper: Seriously?
  • When rescuing Pacifica from the Dutch Lilliputtian's Death Trap, Pacifica proceeds to critique Mabel for taking so long, and warns her to "watch the earrings, they cost more than your house!" Mabel sarcastically reconsiders rescuing her at all, at which point Pacifica quickly backtracks, prompting a "that's what I thought!" from Mabel.
  • Pacifica's trainer Sergei falls off the back of the cart during the big getaway chase. Pacifica looks back and, after a moment of silence, pragmatically says "I can get another one".
  • Pacifica's rage at the Lilliputtians calling her and the Pines "dumb huge-lings" while banning them from the Putt Hutt.
    Pacifica: What did you say to me you little trolls? I will sue you! I will sue and I will own you! (Punches closed door)
  • Pacifica initially rebuffs Mabel's offer of a ride home, until lightning strikes, signaling more rain incoming. Cut to her completely nonplussed and slightly frazzled in the back seat, surrounded by the silliness that is the Pines Family.
  • Stan's upbeat song that reveals the cars headlights don't work and he can't see the road.
  • Mabel teaches Pacifica about sharing... literally; Pacifica has never even heard the word before and pronounces it with a hard 'r' when trying to sound it out.
  • Mabel and Dipper dropping Pacifica off at home.
    Mabel: At the end of the day, she's an ordinary kid just like us.
    Dipper: We should have charged her for that taco.
    Mabel: Agreed!
  • Franz follows the Pines home by clinging to the back license plate of Stan's car, and gleefully vows revenge on them all - until a bump in the road dislodges him, and he gets hopelessly wedged in a clump of sand by the ditch.
  • Sergei being held captive, and forced to watch a Lilliputtian song and dance number.
    Sergei: Can I go now?
    Liliputtians: NEVER!
  • Mabel finding two tacos in Stan's car, which she promptly eats.

Sock Opera

  • When Mabel first sees Gabe, she takes out her pop-up book.
    Mabel: (opening page with pop-up heart) Ba-bump. Ba-bump.
    Dipper: Oh boy.
  • "Last time you got this sleep-deprived, you tried to eat your own shirt." Cue Dipper catching himself chewing on his shirt.
  • Candy wanting to steal Gabe away from Mabel. And expressing it in Korean to boot.
  • "I was just working on the world's greatest puppet show. It has puppets!"
  • Bill Cipher returns, and with him, his unique sense of humor.
    Dipper: There has to be some shortcut or clue [to this laptop's password]. Who would know about secret codes?
    (The moon turns into Bill's eye, and his body constructs itself around it)
    Bill: I THINK I KNOW A GUY! Did you miss me? Admit it, you missed me!
    Bill: Hey, wanna hear my impression of you in about three seconds? (screams and flails his arms about)
  • Stan complaining about Mabel's "Mabel Juice"
    Mabel: It has plastic dinosaurs in it!
    Stan: It's like coffee and nightmares had a baby.
  • Candy nervously holding up a puppet covered in googly eyes and asking "How many eyes does a face have, again?"
  • "This sock crisis just bumped up to Code: Argyle!"
  • "You look like a vampire, and not the hot kind!"
  • Bill exploring Dipper's body and the pain he can bring it. Among other things, he falls down a set of stairs with a totally casual expression for no reason at all, stabs himself with forks and slaps himself in the face in front of Dipper, in ways that would be horrifying if he weren't being so hilariously casual and chipper about it.
    <cheerfully, while slamming Dipper's arm in a drawer> "Boy, these arms are durable!"
  • Bill (in Dipper's body) screwing with Dipper's friends.
    Dipper!Bill: Hey Soos! Wanna hear the exact time and date of your death?
    Soos: Heh heh, okay!
  • Bill's smooth moves on Wendy.
  • Grunkle Stan manages to be both heartwarming and hilarious with this line:
    Stan: Are you kiddin' me? I would never miss... whatever this is.
  • Grenda as the stage manager.
    "The show is about to begin! Please turn off your cell phones... unless you're texting me, cuties!"
    "Our intermission has begun! MILL ABOUT!"
  • Also, Grenda and Bipper's interaction:
    Grenda: The journal's in the cake, but that doesn't come down until the third act. So hold your horses!
    Bipper: Oh I'll hold my horses. I'll hold them. Beat. You monster.
  • When Dipper possesses the sock puppet version of himself in an attempt to warn Mabel:
    Mabel: AAAAH! It's come to life! The puppet books didn't warn me about this! (throws a fork at the Dipper puppet)
    Dipper: Mabel, it's me, Dipper! You need to help me!
    Mabel: Wait, what... Dipper? But you're... so much more of a sock than usual.
  • Mabel apparently thinks a "biscotti" is some type of sports car.
  • "Wanna kiss and sing at the same time?"
  • Mabel referring to Bill-in-Dipper's-body as "Bipper".
  • "Woah, children fighting! I can sell this!"
  • How does Mabel defeat this unstoppable being of pure energy with no weakness? By tickling him and letting him chase her around in circles until he gets tired out.
  • "Yes! I'm back in my body! And it's...just as underwhelming as I remember. Ohhhh...everything hurts..."
  • The result of the pyrotechnics Trashing the Set of Mabel's puppet show. Mabel reassures Dipper by telling him that the audience will think it's All Part of the Show and clap for the extraordinary performance. The audience boos them off and leaves in frustration, and Gabe makes out with his sock puppets for comfort.
    • The aforementioned trashing of the set is just as funny: a slow-mo explosion of all the puppets as "Ave Maria" plays and the Stan puppet falls in flames. And then Gabe makes the most overdramatic face imaginable.
  • The bonus code screen at the end of the episode.
    • The image is hilarious. The cipher, when translated...not so much.
  • The Stinger, which has Stan and Old Man McGucket as Statler and Waldorf-esque puppets critiquing the Dipper and Mabel sock puppets.
  • Stan's first reaction to walking in on everyone making puppets: "Not even gonna ask." And later, "Still ignoring this."

Soos and the Real Girl

  • The first three seconds of the episode:
    Mabel: *prancing* La la la la la *runs right into the door, gets braces caught in the screen* Aaah!
    • Which is followed by Mabel, assuming this is the end for her, requesting someone to help dictate her will.
    Mabel: I'm giving it all to Waddles!
  • Grandpa Soos apparently wasn't a great guy.
    Abuelita: I would like to see you settled, before I ascend to heaven and live with the angels.
    Soos: And with Grandpa!
    Abuelita: ...No, he is not there. [looks downward]
  • Goldie's first appearance, scaring the living daylights out of an unsuspecting child. Heck, Goldie's existence counts as one.
    • When Goldie breaks down, Wendy encourages Stan to throw him out on the grounds that "Its face reminds everyone of the inevitability of death."
  • Soos' first attempt at flirting. "Attempt" being the operative word.
    Soos: (slightly stilted) Your face is good. I'm a Soos!
    • Which causes the girl he was talking to to scream in fear, and run out of the store while shoving a customer out of the way and knocking over some shelves.
    • "Just use your mouth to say words that makes romance happen."
  • At the mall, Soos expresses being afraid of embarrassing himself again, and Mabel attempts to cheer him up.
    Mabel: Eh, you can't be any worse at this than Dipper.
    Dipper: Yeah! Wait, wha-?
  • "Hey there! I'm not scared of your eyes at all! I'm gonna LOOK AT THEM!"
  • Soos trying to flirt with a gothic... person outside the Hot Topic stand-in.
    Soos: So, you're probably a girl, right? ... Wrong? No I was right the first time! ... Wrong?
  • Soos reading from the cover of the game:
    "Virtually improve your dating skills. 9/10 basement dwellers recommend."
  • On the sticky note on Romance Academy 7 warning "destroy at all costs!", someone apparently took the time to draw the Flipping the Table emoticon.
  • Romance Academy 7's "Blind Idiot" Translation.
    Soos: "When the cherry petals of magic romance academy are in bloom... anthyding can hadplen." That is so true.
    • Earlier, the game screen shows the developer, "Year 2000 Electronics."
    Soos: "Dude, I can't wait for the year 2000!"
  • Giffany tells Soos that "Every time you compliment me, I get another highlight in my eyes!" He starts giving her compliments and her eyes get so big and shiny they end up looking like this.
  • "Dang! Where dem sweet honeys at?!" Said by Mabel.
  • Mabel, nearly veering into Bi the Way territory, barging into the women's restroom to find a date for Soos and scaring everyone away.
    Mabel: "I'll check the ladies bathroom. It's love time, girls! Get out there! No time to wash your hands! (every woman in there runs out terrified) It's time to date, date, date!"
    Dipper: ...aaand here comes security.
  • After Soos accidentally bumps into a lady shopper and tries desperately to undo the situationnote , the lady ominously responds with "You can't undo who you are." Really, the bizarre tonal shift with that little bit is hysterical.
  • When Giffany is explaining to Soos what happened when her creators tried to delete her and she had to "delete" them, there's a scene of several figures on computers. One of them has a stream of binary on their monitor, which when translated reads SPACEJAMTWO.
  • When Giffany offers to be with Soos "forever and ever":
    Soos: That's awesome! Sort of a red flag... but mostly awesome!
  • Giffany and Soos' date of him riding a kiddie train ride with Giffany in the monitor of the train, riding her own train
  • When Soos meets a real-life girl he likes, she works at a place called Meat Cute!
    Soos: Extreme lunch meats are the wave of the future.
    Melody: I feel the same way...
  • Mabel's little joyful freak-out when Soos manages to get a date.
  • Wendy's reactions to Stan's obsession with getting the badger animatronic:
    Wendy: This is literally too dumb for me to care about.
  • "Sometimes a man has to steal an animatronic badger to stay in this crazy game called life."
    • Stan tries sneaking out of his own house through the front window for no reason, then injures his back.
    Wendy: I'll get your orthopedic back pillow.
    Stan: Thank you.
  • Giffany stalking Soos on his date is creepy, but his response is rather amusing:
  • This line referencing a common online debate:
    Soos: Guys, I'm being stalked by Giffany! ...Or maybe it's pronounced "JIFfany"? I was never really sure.
  • (in cheerful Machine Monotone) "Hello, friends. Hoo-Haw the Owl is dead."
  • "I'm going to eat your face like pizza!" Which is also potential Nightmare Fuel.
  • Soos's battle plan.
    Soos: I'm so sorry, Melody. It's me that she wants. I'll distract her while Dipper and Mabel keep you safe! It's the only way!
    Soos: THE ONLY WAY!
  • Melody admitting that a date involving being attacked by sentient robots and dealing with a Yandere AI is actually NOT the worst date she's been on.
  • Granny Soos following the group in secret.
    Granny: Soos's life is my soap opera.
  • Stan running off to Vegas with Goldie in The Stinger. And doing everything from gambling with it to marrying it.
    • And the Lil Jon-parodying rap number performed by John DiMaggio over the credits.
  • This episode has a lot of really great fake product names:
    • Wendy reads a magazine called "Avoiding Eye Contact Monthly."
    • Soos buys the game with Giffany in it from a place called "Beebly Boop's Videogames", with a perfect imitation of the Gamestop logo and font.
    • There are stores in the mall called "Overalls Are Cool Now" and "Build A Beaver".
    • The local Hot Topic pastiche is named "EDGY on PURPOSE".
    • Stan and Goldy sit in a bath tub drinking glasses of "rich people water".
  • The last third of the episode as a whole becomes particularly hilarious when you consider that it involves possessed animal animatronics at a pizzeria. Given the Animation Lead Time (especially in a traditionally animated cartoon like Gravity Falls), it's very unlikely any of this was intentional.

Little Gift Shop of Horrors

  • Stan tossing aside a palantír.
  • When the Handwitch refuses to sell Grunkle Stan any of her watches, an ominous wind stirs up and she shrieks "The wind whispers your name!" Cut to Tyler the Cute Biker selling windchimes at a booth called "Sev'ral Chimez", who tries to shush his windchimes.
  • When Grunkle Stan mocks Dipper for his worries about the witch:
    Grunkle Stan: Anyone wanna buy a wet blanket? Wet blanket for sale!
    Toby Determined: (selling actual wet blankets) I can't compete in this market...
  • When Stan wakes up he is freaked out by his own reflection.
    Grunkle Stan: Aaahhhh! Oh wait is this curse ugly, or normal ugly?
  • Stan adjusts to the loss of his hands pretty quickly. "So I might've got cursed a little..."
  • Stan's attempts at living without his hands. It does NOT go well. Examples include:
  • Mabel playing rock-paper-scissors with two of the Handwitch's hands, and running away when she loses.
  • After giving her cave a makeover, Mabel assures the Handwitch that "Men will definitely tolerate you now!"
  • The Handwitch using the book of pick-up lines Mabel gave her on a passing handsome hiker, and it works.
  • Dipper first becomes interested in solving the What-The-Heck-A-Hedron when he learns that the person to solve it will be featured on the box - getting a smooch from a hot model.
    Dipper: Whoa! Now that's false advertising I can get behind!
  • Mabel and Waddles playing at being "morning zoo" disc jockeys.
    Mabel: Don't touch that dial, truckers, 'cause the Hogg just ate it!
  • "Forgive me, my pig arms are cute and useless."
  • Mabel freaking out over Waddles suddenly becoming smart and building a voice-synthesizer.
    Mabel: This isn't right! (holds up a Spin 'n' Say-like toy) The pig goes oink! The pig goes oink!!
  • Waddles squealing angrily at the goat chewing on his pillow, then shooting a fusillade of foam missiles at it.
  • "My kite got stuck in a tree! I hate everything!"
  • Waddles giving Grenda a jetpack and Candy a death ray.
    Candy: Death to my enemies!
  • The pictures of "Waddles's ???th Birthday, Probably" has Mabel and Waddles just eating a big bowl of cake frosting and sprinkles, with a few candles in it.
  • Waddles using his masterpiece machine to feed himself potatoes.
    Smart!Waddles: Yummy yummy! For my fat little pig tummy!
    • Smart!Waddles is voiced by Neil deGrasse Tyson. This makes the above line, as well as him trying to shoo the goat that's pestering him, at least twice as hilarious.
  • Waddles' flashback montage is as touching as it is silly.
    Just remember to remember those times!
  • Mabel threatening Stan off-screen for trying to sell Waddles to the viewer.
  • Stan's line:
    Stan: "Movies are great! You watch the movie, you scare the girl, the girl snuggles up next to you, next thing you know you gotta raise a kid, your life falls apart... Forget that last part."
  • "Ooh, old people movies! Get ready for references we don't understand, and words we can't repeat!"
  • Mabel's fear of stop-motion. In fact, she ends up spending much of the "Clay Day" segment cowering in a laundry basket full of old sweaters.
    Mabel: The Cyclops! Its face is made of nightmares!
  • The text on the back of the box of Stan's movie says;
    "I actually watched this."- A Critic
    "My favorite movie!" - Mom
    Rated O for Old People
  • Stan tries to console Mabel about her fear shortly after breaking into the animator's house.
    Stan: You see, Mabel, those "monsters" are just tiny clay figures moved around one frame at a time. By an antisocial shut-in.
    Soos: Those people are called "animators"
  • When Stan, Dipper and Soos encounter the living claymotion cyclops.
    Stan: *Dodges arm* It's slowly- *Dodges arm again* -swiping at us! *Dodges for the last time*
    Soos: Let's escape by standing still! *cyclops grabs him* It didn't work!!!
  • Near the end of "Clay Day", the characters watch the battle between the giant Shimmery Twinkleheart and Claymore's stop-motion monsters just off-screen, while discussing how expensive and time-consuming claymation is.
  • Harry Claymore's line about his work: "What? You think people animate these things by hand one frame at a time? I'm not a masochist! I use black magic to animate these things."
  • Gumby Soos
    • Who is implied to have been killed by Stan.
      Stan: We're safe now, kids. (grabs them) We're safe.
  • Waddles commenting that there's more to life than fart noises and laughing at those fart noises.
  • After the viewer decides not to buy anything from Stan's shop, Stan knocks out the viewer with a potion and introduces his newest attraction, the Legendary Cheapskate.
  • Mabel playing tic-tac-toe with the viewer at the end, and just can't make up her mind whether she wants to be X or O.
  • Stan's Slasher Smile.

Society of the Blind Eye

  • Jeff the gnome threatening to resort to cannibalism if the other gnomes don't succeed in getting Lazy Susan's pie.
    • After Lazy Susan is abducted; "Well, back to pie! I was this close to eating you, Steve.
  • Dipper accidentally biting into his pen, and throwing it into a box for chewed-up "thinking pens".
  • Mabel lamenting her bad luck with boys after learning Mermando is engaged to the queen of the manatees for political reasons.
    Mabel: (points to a picture of Norman) Turned out to be gnomes... (points to Li'l Gideon) Child psycho... (points to Gabe) Made out with his own hands...
    • Doubly funny is that Mabel considers the manatee queen to be beautiful.
  • "Rappers are visionaries, Wendy. If they told me to eat my own pants, I would do it!" Guess what the next verse of "Straight Blanchin'" involves?
    • "Straight Blanchin'"'s entire existence in the show, as a parody of annoying summer Ear Worms (and to a lesser extent, top 40 music in general). Its lyrics consist of little but "Am I blanchin'? Girl we blanchin', I live up in a mansion!" (Aside from the "eat your own pants" bit.)
    • "Wait, why is Soos eating his own pants?"
  • Wendy throwing Soos' CD out the truck window, and then immediately realizing she was overreacting.
    Wendy: ....I'll buy you a new one.
  • "Mabel, are you okay? You just walked by a cat without petting it."
  • Lazy Susan's recollection of her gnome sighting.
    Lazy Susan: Well, I was leaving the diner, and I saw these bearded little doodads, and I was like, "Whaaa?!"
    Blind Eye Leader: There, there... you wont' be "like wha" for much longer.
  • McGucket Symbol Swearing in hamboning.
  • After the ominous meeting, the members of the Society of the Blind Eye wander off, jovially telling each other "Un-see you later!"
  • "Man, you have got to teach me some of them old-man swear-words!"
  • Robbie's memory-wiping session, in which he recalls the events of "Fight Fighters" and, after a little prompting to be honest, begrudgingly admits he got saved by a twelve-year old.
  • Mabel showing Wendy her opening line for talking to a guy.
    Mabel: "Hi, I'm Mabel! I'm twelve and I own a pig, wanna get married?"
    • From that same scene, Wendy's impression of a guy involves wrapping a lock of her hair around her face in imitation of mutton-chops and saying "Testosterone!" in a gravelly voice, then spitting.
  • McGucket while hiding from the Order, notices his own Pointless Band-Aid.
    McGucket: Hey, why does my beard have a bandage? Does that even make sense? Why has no one pointed that out?
    • A little less funny when you realize it's been there for years and he's only just remembered it.
  • Everyone's extremely distressed confessions as they're about to have their memories erased.
    Soos: Mabel, for half of the summer I thought your name was Maple, like the syrup. No one corrected me!
    Mabel: I only love some of my stuffed animals and the guilt is killing me!
    Dipper: Sometimes I use big words and I don't actually know what they mean! I mean, I'm supposed to be the smart guy! If I'm not the smart guy, who am I?!
    Wendy: Okay, I'm not actually laid back. I'm stressed, like, 24/7! Have you met my family?!
    • During their final goodbyes just a moment later, Soos blurts out, "I'm gonna miss you, Maple!"
  • During his Big Damn Heroes moment, McGucket supplies the gang with prospector-era weapons from the museum. Dipper gets a stuffed raccoon on a stick, and Soos got an informative plaque about Dysentery.
    Soos: (Holding up Plaque threateningly) Nobody better mess!
    • Even better, a member of the Order flees when Soos holds it up and threatens them with dysentery.
  • After it's revealed one of the members wears nothing but his underwear in his robe...
    Soos: (holds memory ray to head) Well, time to forget that forever.
  • After wiping the Blind Eye society's memories of their society Dipper tricks them into thinking they were just visiting the museum and to give their donations to the gold miner (McGucket). Looks like his Grunkle has rubbed off on him a bit.
    • Also a bit of Heartwarming when you consider that the money will help McGucket.
  • Mabel giving Blind Ivan a fun new identity. And a banjo.
    Mabel: Your name is Toot Toot McBumbersnazzle! You’re a traveling banjo minstrel with a song in your heart and funny tattoos on your head!
    • Scrawling "Butts" on Ivan's head. With a permanent marker, no less.
  • At the end, Wendy remarks that the episode's events have helped her get "Straight Blanchin'" out of her head. Guess what's playing on the radio of Soos' truck.
    Wendy: Oh, come on!
  • After Mabel decides to learn from her failed summer romances rather than try to erase the memories of them, she gets the others to help her vandalize a poster of Gabe Bensen from Sock Opera.

Blendin's Game

  • "He's either the bravest time-convict I've seen, or just the dumbest!" Cue Blendin crashing into a wall, tripping over some barrels, and spraining his "time-knee". "Definitely the dumbest."
    • "Oh, time-dangit!"
  • The twins' reactions when the vending machine fails.
    Mabel: Everything is terrible forever!
  • "Forget taking off the wrappers! I'm eating these now!"
    • *cough* *cough* "That was a mistake!"
  • Soos mentions that he would do anything for the Pines family.
    Stan (off-screen): Soos! I need to scratch myself in two places at once!
    Soos: And I mean anything. Coming, Mr. Pines!
  • Soos apparently keeps "emergency salami" in his wallet.
  • When Mabel announces she's always wanted a surprise party, Candy appears out of nowhere and, with a cry of "Surprise!", throws confetti over Mabel. Mabel just gives her a dirty look and says "Too little too late, Chiu."
  • "More exclamation points! More, I say!!"
  • Stan apparently tried getting the government to remove Soos's birthday from the calender. Now he's not allowed on planes.
  • Toby Determined as "The Razz Dazzler" is so sad, it's hilarious.
    Toby: (in a cheery voice) Razzle dazzle, friends! It's me, the Raz Dazzler! This is what my life has become!
    • And in the past, Mabel sees Toby learning how to tap-dance, and bluntly tells him "This dream goes nowhere, Toby!"
  • Mabel's odd laugh after she tells Soos that Dipper and she "definitely didn't rifle through [Soos's] wallet" to find out that he likes laser tag.
  • The cheezy "Mission Briefing" at the laser-tag place:
    Announcer: It is the year 8000! Society has collapsed! Fog machines, everywhere!
  • Grunkle Stan and Wendy talking about the laser-tag place:
    Wendy: Are these walls just mattresses spray-painted purple?
    Stan: I think this place used to be a mattress store.
  • "Kick: Deflected! Thank you for buying DigiCod®, the Smart Codpiece™!"
  • Dipper and Mabel's inability to remember Blendin's name. "Blar-blar!"
  • Mabel's reaction to the horrors of Globnar:
    Mabel: ...Is this a game show? Are we in Japan?
  • Mabel tries to distract Lolph by claiming to be his "great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother", complete with Dipper prompting her on how many greats to add. Even more hilarious, it works!
    Lolph: (after Dipper and Mabel steal his time-tape) Gam-gam, how could you?!
    Mabel: I ain't no one's gam-gam, sucka! You just got time tricked!
  • After the twins teleport too far into the past:
    Mabel: Time travel, man! Why you gotta be so complicated?!
  • Blendin threatens to 'keep stammering' until Lolph and Dundgren find the twins, which references not only his speech patterns, but those Justin Roiland uses in his other characters, like Morty and Lemongrab.
    Blendin: I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-...
  • Irony occurs when the twins are in the past and they encounter Wendy and Tambry (at fives years old.) Tambry tells Dipper that Wendy thinks he's cute. Dipper's embarrassed and confused by it while Mabel teases him that this is probably how Wendy feels, cue epiphany from Dipper.
    Dipper: Aha, thank you, I mean you're super young so this is weird.
    Mabel: Now you know how she feels, creep.
    Dipper: Aha, yeah
  • The running gag of (young) Robbie shooting someone with his water gun.
    • Also the fact that at one point, he calls himself "Young Robbie". It's a Call Forward to Robbie in the present calling himself "Laser Tag Robbie", but that it's young Robbie calling himself young for no real reason makes it doubly funny.
  • When the twins surrender, Lolph warns Dundgren to be careful since they're from the past and "they might have powder muskets or slap bracelets."
  • Lolph muting Blendin mid-sentence, and Dundgren wishing that they'd known they could do that earlier.
  • Time Baby resisting the formula from the robot, and then later drinking all of it before another robot comes along and pats his back so he can burp.
  • The much hyped final challenge of the gladiator games Blendin challenges Dipper and Mabel to turns out to be.... laser tag.
    Blendin: It might not seem challenging now, but soon they'll turn on the smoke machines, and THEN!
    • Dipper easily wins the challenge by shooting Blendin before he has a chance to run off.
  • After defeating Blendin, the Time Baby asks the twins what fate they will decide for the loser.
    Mabel: DEEEAAATH! (Dipper: Mabel!) Sorry, I got carried away.
  • "Yes! I got my job back! I'm so happy I could hug someone!" "I can kill you in eight different ways." "Yes, sir!"
  • Soos' wish, which has a triple pointage for being this, Crowning Moment of Heartwarming and Crowning Moment of Awesome. Instead of wishing to see his deadbeat father, he wishes for Dipper and Mabel to be cleaned up. When Blendin' explains how he completely wasted a time wish, Soos exclaims that he also wished for a slice of "Infinite Pizza", which regenerates after every bite. Everyone is impressed.

The Love God

  • The twins cloud-gazing with Wendy and her friends:
    Mabel: Woah, that cloud looks like a chipmunk!
    (An airplane flies through the cloud)
    Wendy: Heh, barfing an airplane.
    Thompson: (points to a waffle-shaped cloud) That cloud looks like, uh, a cloud.
    Other Kids: Boo!
    Wendy: Thompson, stop being the worst at everything!
  • Dipper making fun of Thompson throughout the episode and earning the approval of Nate and Lee.
  • If you pause when Wendy is flipping through Tambry's phone, you will see a list of bands that are going to be playing at the Woodstick festival, including acts such as "Scarves Indoors" and "Wood Grain on Everything".
  • "Gaze upon death! Gaze upon death!"
  • The horrifying thing Thompson finds in an open grave in the cemetery... a moping Robbie clutching a picture of Wendy and wailing about his misfortune.
    Wendy: It's really sweet you threw yourself into a grave for me, but man, time to move on.
    • Immediately after Robbie lies to Wendy about moving on from their breakup, we hear that his ringtone is a song he wrote about her.
    Wendy I miss you so much, I'll never move on, never ever.
    • Upon realizing that the song is playing, Robbie immediately chucks his phone into a tombstone shattering it, and claims that the song was written about a "different" Wendy.
      • "Shattering" is putting it mildly; Robbie's phone disintegrates.
  • "The cemetery used to be fun, now it's just depressing."
  • Robbie telling a vulture to just eat him already and end his misery. It does.
    Robbie: Aah! I was just being dramatic! Quit it! Ow! My face! Vulture!
  • Mabel bragging about her match-making success, including Waddles and Gompers the goat... who have been dressed in wedding attire and duct-taped together.
    • The Stinger revolves around a Photo Montage of Gompers and Waddles' "wedding" pictures, while a cheesy 70s pop ballad about "A Goat and a Pig" plays.
  • Stan's horrified reaction to realizing the Woodstick festival is coming to town, including threatening to take a crossbow to the hot-air balloons passing overhead.
    Stan: Soos! Lock down the shack and hide my shirts before anyone tie-dyes them!
  • Robbie's parents are very cheerful and friendly... and they're also funeral directors. Wherever they go, Black Comedy follows.
    Valentino Funeral Home
    If you were dead, you'd be home by now!
    • The reveal that Robbie's middle name is Stacey.
    • As Mabel is walking through their house, we see her pass by a series of framed pictures, all showing Robbie as he grows older. The music slows to a crawl as Robbie is shown growing more and more into the Emo Teen he is today.
  • "I used to think you were a creepy jerk, like the human version of rat poison."
    • "Uh huh... go on..."
  • Mabel trying to find a match for Robbie. "Multi-Bear? I'm putting you in the 'maybe' pile."
  • Wendy's friends duct-taping snacks to Thompson's body to smuggle into the music festival.
  • A chalkboard in Greasy's Diner reads "Ask about our steak dinner! We don't have one!"
  • When Mabel meets the Love God, he hands her a beat-up old cassette tape of one of his albums. She says "Oh, that's... great!" with forced cheeriness as she discreetly tosses the tape in a nearby trash can.
  • "They're gonna make a snadger!"
  • "Will you accept squirrels as payment?!"
    • For context: that's Mabel saying this.
  • Mabel swapping one of the Love God's potions for a squirrel.
    Mabel: Shhhhhh...
  • Nate punching Thompson's mailbox after the group has a falling out over Robbie hooking up with Tambry.
    Thompson: NOT MY MAILBOX!!
    • Even better is that he hurt his hand doing so.
  • Mabel criticizing Dipper's shirt, and Dipper agrees!
    Mabel:...Also, you are not pulling off that v-neck.
    Dipper (sighing): I know.
    Mabel: BURN IT!
  • "Guy from the ten-dollar bill! I forgot I had a crush on you!"
  • Grunkle Stan's hideous hot air balloon modeled after his own head. Especially when it starts to fall apart.
    Original Message: I HEART KIDS
    Modified Message: I _EA_T KIDS (At this point it's also on fire)
    • The over-dramatic music that plays as it terrorizes everybody is the icing on the cake.
      • Before Brad Breeck wrote the score for the scene, the music used in the storyboard scratch-track was "Duel of the Fates".
    • "It's heaven's punishment for our terrible taste in everything!"
    • When Charlie asks his mother if the floating head was going to eat them, the mother replies yes, crying and hugging him as the balloon slowly descends upon them. The whole scene is practically straight out of a monster flick.
  • When the Love God gets back his anti-love formula, he boasts that "only a greater being from the heavens above" can stop him. Cue Grunkle Stan's balloon crashing on top of him.
  • "What's everybody crying about? In my day, zeppelins fell from the sky like raindrops!"
  • Love God's response to a groupie asking him to sign her face: "Only if you sign mine, baby. LET'S GET WEIRD!"
  • Mabel and Dipper crowd surfing to escape The Love God. Mabel is of course enthusiastic about it, while Dipper is...not.
    Dipper: "No no no everyone's touching everything!
    • The Love God, crowd surfing after the Twins, takes a moment to greet fans and hand out more cassettes.

Northwest Mansion Mystery/Noir

  • When all the plates and chairs are attacking the Northwests at the beginning of the episode.
    Preston Northwest: You are my possessions! Obey me!
  • Dipper preparing for a 48 hour marathon of "Ghost Harassers" on the Used to Be About History Channel
    Dipper: *sips a Pitt cola* Be strong, bladder. We're not gonna move till sunset.
  • Mabel, Candy and Grenda reacting to the bulletin about the party.
    In unison: Ooooooooo!
  • The start of the episode shows Mabel, Candy, and Grenda in awe of the Northwest family's standard of living. Dipper is having none of it.
    Dipper: Guys, in case you've already forgotten, Pacifica Northwest is the worst - and that's not just jealously talking. I'd say that to her face. *opens door to reveal Pacifica*
    Pacifica: I need your help.
    Dipper: ...You're the worst. *slams door*
  • Candy and Grenda saying "Dreeeeeeaaaaam!" in unison, complete with big sparkling eyes.
  • Mabel messing with the face of a completely unfazed butler.
    Butler: Nyes, very good miss.
  • Pacifica's completely deadpan and unphased expression at Mabel, Grenda and Candy's antics. At this point, she's clearly become desensitized to their silliness.
  • The Freeze-Frame Bonus about Marius Von Fundhauser's past:
    Guest Book Description: After inheriting his father's cravat and epaulets factory at the age of 7, Marius Von Fundhauser quickly rose to prominece as the richest rich boy in Richardson Richington's Rich Boys Richcademy, furtherrich, he rich rich rich rich rich, rich rich rich. Rich,
  • Grenda doing the "something on your shirt" trick to a party guest, flicking his nose, and then going "LOSER!" Then she pulls it on Marius, to Mabel and Candy's dismay...and he actually likes it.
  • Mabel, Candy, and Grenda's nervous laughter when they "agree" not to pursue Marius von Fundshauser.
  • The 102-year-old mayor of Gravity Falls, whose entourage includes a trio of vultures that circle around him waiting for him to die. And when the lumberjack ghost appears at the party, Mayor Befufftlefumpter casually goes "Ah, the Grim Reaper. I've been expecting you."
  • Dipper and Pacifica's first encounter with the lumberjack ghost? Horrifying. Dipper's reaction to the journal's only advice for a category 10 ghost being PRAY FOR MERCY? Hilarious.
    Dipper: Aw, seriously?
  • Candy being torn between cheese and chocolate fondue:
    Mabel: Candy, listen to me carefully. You're caught in a sweet-savory loop. Put the fondue fork down.
    Candy: ...I want to, but I can't...
  • Just the noise the peacock makes when Dipper accidentally runs into it.
  • When everyone starts turning to wood, there's a woman who was caught mid Spit Take.
  • It's sandwiched between tense moments, sure, but there's Dipper telling Pacifica that the ghost "started rhyming, for some reason."
  • The Northwests thanking Dipper after he captured the Lumberjack by having a butler shake his hand for them.
    Mrs. Northwest: We can't thank you enough... that's enough.
  • Dipper's exorcism chant.
    Dipper: Exodus demonus... spookus scarus... aintafradus noghostus...
  • Pacifica's father having her trained to respond to a bell? Disgusting. His indignation when she starts to stand up against it? This.
    Preston Northwest: Dingley dingley! Is this bell broken?
    • He also has a moment of good black comedy right before that: "We'll eat the butler!"
  • The lumberjack ghost's final lines:
    Lumberjack Ghost: Yes, yes, it's happening! My heart, once as hard as oak, now grows soft, like more of a birch or...something.
  • Tyler the Cute Biker doing his signature "Get 'em! Get 'em!" when Pacifica opens the gates to the Northwest Mansion, complete with glistening eyes.
    • Even better, he's saying "Get in, get in!"
  • At the beginning of the episode, Preston Northwest was very adamant on how the silverware was placed. When the townspeople stampeded into the mansion, Tyler picks up a fork to look at it then sets it down.
    Preston: That's not how the fork should be placed!
  • The Stinger involves Agents Power and Trigger (the latter Disguised in Drag) having an argument in a coat closet at the party that sounds Like an Old Married Couple. Then Tambry walks in
    Tambry: Not even gonna ask. *Turns around and leaves*
    • Agent Powers' disguise uses a fake moustache...even though he has a similar looking real one underneath.

Not What He Seems

  • From the last trailer before the episode airs, we have video proof of Alex Hirsch's Trolling Creator status:
    Puppet!McGucket: IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!
    Alex: (Stage Whisper) Ignore him...
    Puppet!McGucket: ALEX! THE END IS NEAR!!!
  • "Can't be too careful with this stuff," says Stan as he casually wipes radioactive waste on his forehead.
  • The firework brands, with such gems as "The Heart Attack", "The Lawsuit Maker", "Poor Choices", "Boom!", and "Cop Callers".
  • After Stan uses said fireworks, this exchange happens.
    Blubs: Hold on a minute, do you have a permit for those?
    Stan: Uh, do you have a permit for being totally lame?
    (Dipper, Mabel, Stan, and Blubs laugh)
    Blubs: Well, I can't argue with that. Carry on. (Leaves with Durland)
  • The scene where the Government guys swarm the Mystery Shack is dramatic, but has some hilarious moments:
    • "Pig secured! We have secured a pig!"
    • "What did I do that warrants this much arresting?!"
    • One agent "secures" Mabel's popsicle, looks around to see if anyone's watching, then has a lick of it.
    • After everyone's been arrested Wendy shows up for work... and then very quickly walks the other way when she sees government agents swarming the place.
  • After Agent Trigger takes Dipper and Mabel into custody in the FBI-mobile, they pass Wendy sauntering up the road on her way to work. She reaches the Shack, notices the hordes of SWAT Agents combing the scene, and promptly about-faces and marches away.
  • Among the articles of evidence on the agent's corkboard at the police station are an old report card of Stan's with straight A's in English, math, and science, but a D- in phys. ed. (including a note from the agents that the first two seem unlikely)note , a tattered Stan Buck, and a black-and-white photo of the Stan Vac.
  • When Soos gets his mission from Stan to guard the vending machine at the Mystery Shack: "It's time for a repair-guy to become a repair-man!". Cue the drive thru attendant popping up: "Sir, your Junior Yum-Yum Baby Time Kiddo Meal?"
    Soos: Just put one in my mouth. (Vendor puts a fry in his mouth; Soos eats it while squinting his eyes before driving away).
  • How do Dipper and Mabel escape from Agent Trigger? Mabel baits Manly Dan (apparently a closet fan of Sev'ral Timez) into running Trigger's humvee off the road by writing "Sev'ral Timez is overrated" in the dust on the window.
  • McGucket packing up to get out of town... including his raccoon wife.
  • The SWAT guys on the Rock That Looks Like a Face Rock:
    SWAT member: So... is it a face, or is it a rock?
    Other SWAT member: I think it's... a metaphor.
  • While searching for proof of Stan's innocence, Dipper first comes across footage of Mabel and Wendy egging on Soos to do The Worm. Mabel insists they had no choice once the song came on.
  • On the security tape, Stan drops something on his toe and yells "HOT BELGIAN WAFFLES!"... before remembering that he's alone and gleefully noting that that means "I can swear for real!"
    Video!Stan: SON OF A—
    (Dipper pauses the video, Mabel clasps her hands over her ears)
  • During his grand escape from police custody, Stan casually pickpockets one of the Government Agents' wallets.
  • The very end of the episode, when the Author comes out of Stan's portal... and he's Stan's long-lost brother.
    Mabel: Is this the part where one of us faints?
    Soos: Oh, I am so on it, dude. (faints)
  • Agent Powers' explanation for how he and Agent Trigger survived the zombies in "Scary-Oke":
    Powers: I used Trigger as a human shield. He cried like a baby.
    Trigger: Hey! Not in front of the special-ops guys!...
  • This exchange after one of the anti-gravity surges:
    Tyler: Is it just me, or did the entire world just hiccup?
    Lazy Susan: Maybe it was a baby-sized earthquake!
    Tyler: Aww! Baby-sized!

A Tale of Two Stans:

  • "Hi! Mabel here, quick question: What the heck is going on here?!"
  • The Author referring to Soos as "some kind of giant hairless gopher." Soos gleefully admits "I get that a lot."
  • This exchange:
    The Author:Greetings! Do kids still say greetings? I haven't been in this dimension for a very long time.
    Mabel: Whoa, six-fingered handshake! That's a full finger friendlier than normal!
    Author: Ha ha! I like this kid! She's weird!
  • Dipper is so overwhelmed to be meeting the author of the Journals, on top of all the events of the previous episode, that he almost throws up.
    Dipper: [bent over clutching his stomach] No, no, false alarm... *hrggh!* [strained] Just gotta ride it out...
  • This line from Soos, which is probably what was going through certain fans' heads at the moment:
    Soos: I hope all this aligns exactly with my fan-fiction, Stan. If not, I will be very disappointed.
  • Stan describes his parents;
    Narrator!Stan: Dad was a strict man; hard as a cinderblock, and not easily impressed.
    Stan's father: (Reading a newspaper with the headline 'ATOMIC AGE BRINGS MEGA CORN') I'm not impressed.
    Narrator!Stan: Mom was a pathological liar, which served her well in her job as a phone psychic.
    Stan's mom: (Answers phone) That'll be 99 cents an hour. No, you're overpriced! Yeah, I predicted you were gonna hang up.
  • Young Stan and Ford shouting "Kings of New Jersey!" with their boat and covered in sunburn.
  • The gleefully horrible advertisements that Grunkle Stan did for his various cheap products, featuring names like the "Rip-off" bandaid, and a parody of the sham-wow that actually used the word "sham" in the title.
    Past!Stan: The "Rip-Off" won't give you rashes! I repeat, it WON'T give you rashes!
    Narrator!Stan: It gave you rashes. (Gilligan Cut to Past!Stan being chased by people with rashes)
  • Grunkle Stan being chased out of New Jersey by angry customers vielding Torches and Pitchforks. Luckily, they had purchased Stan Brand Pitchforks which fall to pieces as they hold them up.
    • On top of that, Stan was such a sleazy scam artist, he got banned from New Jersey! NEW JERSEY!
  • When The Author gets to the creation of the Journals, Dipper keeps interrupting his story with his fan-boy squeeing.
  • While it's part of a very serious scene, it's hard not to laugh at Grunkle Stan telling his brother, "You think you have problems? I have a mullet!"
  • It's revealed that Grunkle Stan accidentally caused Lazy Susan's lazy eye. Bonus points for assuring her that it wasn't permanent.
  • During the credits, Soos tries to bring Wendy up to speed on recent events.
    Soos: OK, OK. So it turns out that the second Stan, the Stan that we know, was actually Stanley but the first Stan was Stanford but we didn't know until that Stanford came out of the portal which was built by Stanford but then Stanley pretending to be Stanford, he did the portal cause he's Stan but he's not Stan.
    Wendy: (Sitting in bed with a tired expression) Soos, it's 3 in the morning.
  • The following exchange:
    The Author: Tell me, Stan. Are there any security breaches? Does anyone else know about this portal?!
    The Author: The what?!
  • "And so the Murder Hut was born. Later renamed the Mystery Shack."
  • Why didn't beachcombing work out for Stan? "Apparently gold is some kind of rare metal."
  • Stan's "sophisticated new business strategy," Scratch-N-Win tickets.
  • Stan and Stanford grew up in an area of the Jersey shore called "Glass Shard Beach". As soon as Stan mentions the name, a seagull perching on the sign coughs up a large chunk of glass.
  • Stanford reminding us how much of a Fish Out of Temporal Water he is, asking for floppy disks and 8-Tracks.
  • The New Jersey Science Fair banner bears the inspiring slogan, "What, you think you're some kind of smart guy?"
  • Ford acting ridiculously paranoid. For example, when Stan opens the door:
    Ford: (savagely pointing a crossbow at Stan) Who are you? Have you COME TO STEAL MY EYES?
    Stan: ...Well, I can always count on you for a warm welcome.
  • When Ford summons Stan to Gravity Falls for his help, Stan underestimates just what he's about to get into.
    Ford: I have something to show you. Something you won't believe.
    Stan: (sounding unimpressed) Look, I've been around the world, OK? Whatever it is, I'll understand.
    (cut to a bewildered Stan inside the Portal Room)
    Stan: There is nothing about this I understand!
  • Ford's "report" to the government agents are crayon drawings of "The Snadger" and a giant Mabel crushing cars with fire behind her and the words "What Hath Science Wrought?!"
    • Ford feeding the flashdrive with all the data on Gravity Falls to Gompers.
  • At the end, when Stan and Ford are looking in the mirror, we get this exchange:
    Stan: Look at us. When did we become old men?
    Ford: You look like Dad.
    Stan: (shudders) Oh no, don't say that!

Dungeons, Dungeons, and more Dungeons

  • Dipper trying to sell the concept of the titular board game and its absurdly complicated rules to Mabel, Soos, and Stan in rapid succession (Mabel is quickly scared off, Soos is more involved with FCLORP (Foam and Cardboard Legitimate Outdoor Roleplaying) than the tabletop, and Stan finds the idea of not gambling with dice almost as laughable as the Purple Prose in the rulebook).
    Stan: Ha! Look, kid, I prefer to do my dice rolling in Vegas.
  • After running out of friends to dungeon-dive with him, Dipper resorts to playing DD&MD with Gompers.
    Dipper: Aw, nice! You rolled a seventeen! (beat) ...and this is sad. Maybe I should start obsessing over Wendy again.
  • During Dipper and Ford's first game of DD&MD:
    Ford: Alright. You've entered the chamber. Princess Unattainabelle beckons you!
  • The creators of Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons apparently tried to make the game 'cooler' in The '90s. We get to see a hilarious commercial for it, involving a wizard in pastel-colored streetwear, rapping, and insane amounts of Totally Radical, to the point where the game is renamed "Diggity-Dungeons and All That".
    Dipper: (shudders) Must've been dark times, those 90s.
    Ford: Yeesh. Sounds like a good time to be trapped between dimensions.
  • Stan's Nightmare Fuel fan art of Ducktective - a beaver with a turkey's head stapled on, wearing a deerstalker hat. It's messed up, even for this show. It's even accompanied by a Scare Chord.
  • Stan defending Duck-tective when Ford dismisses it as a kids' show.
    Stan: I will have you know that Ducktective has a big mystery element and a lot of adult humor that goes over kids' heads!
  • Most of Probabilitor's lines qualify, especially as he's voiced by "Weird Al" Yankovic
    "Mortals of dimension forty-six-apostrophe-backslash! Kneel before me and-" (rolls dice, then bends over for a better look) "-snivel!"
    "I am Probabilitor! The greatest wizard in all mathology! Give or take an error of 0.4."
    "Hot Elf! Ready the brain-cooking pot!"
    "My butt isn't part of this particular equation!"
    "C'mon, guys, this game is fun! I had my mom pack me a lunch." (Pulls out a Ziploc baggie) "Apple slices?! Ugh, I'm eating you last."
    (Upon summoning an "Ogrenado") "It is what it sounds like!"
  • Stan, Mabel, and Grenda gearing up for battle. Stan grabs his trusty baseball bat, Mabel picks a garden rake, and Grenda just lifts an armchair.
  • Stan, Mabel and Grenda walk through the forest to save Dipper and Ford from Probabilitor.
    Stan: We must be getting close, these fairies are getting bitey. (swats one on his shoulder like he would a mosquito)
    Fairy: (stunned and covered in pink blood) Hey! Look! Listen!
  • As Mabel, Grenda, and Grunkle Stan travel through the forest, they're confronted by one of Probabilitor's evil minions, who tries to force them to undertake seven quests in order to pass. Grenda effortlessly brains it with the armchair.
    Mabel: (looking concerned) Is he... dead?
    Stan: He's magic, sweetie. I'm sure he's fine. (whispering to Grenda) There's no cops in the forest. We take this to our graves.
    Grenda: (winks)
  • Dipper and Ford after being turned into game characters.
    Ford: Ah! My ears! They're so pointy!
    Dipper: There better be something protective under this tunic. (checks underneath tunic in horror) OH NO THERE ISN'T!
  • Mabel creates a monster in DD&MD:
    Mabel: "I cast Centaurtaur!" (A centaur with a second, upside-down horse extending from its neck appears)
    Stan: "Mabel, I am so confused and so proud right now."
  • Mabel and Grenda continually fawning over Hot Elf (yes, that's actually his name!). Coupled with the fact that Hot Elf acts like a disaffected teenager all the time.
  • Everyone feeling ripped off by the reveal that Duck-Tective had an Evil Twin brother, and Soos claiming that he had long ago predicted this twist.
  • If you're a Portal fan, hearing JK Simmons be such a stickler about safety regarding portals is plenty hilarious in its own right.
  • The credits scene with the LAR Pers, and Officer Durlands speech about maybe they descend into fantasies because their real lives are unfullfilling and its easier than working on self-improvement.
    Sheriff Blubs: Fortresses cant talk, Durland.

The Stanchurian Candidate

  • The entirety of Stan's Cold Open.
  • Dipper and Mabel's reaction to Stan announcing his candidacy.
    Mabel: Grunkle Stan, it's not that we think you can't do it, it's just...
    Dipper: No, no, Mabel, it's okay. We don't think you can do it.
  • Apparently, Mayor Befufflefumpter's death was the most eventful thing to happen in a while. So much so that the anchorwoman reporting it cries tears of joy when finally presented with the chance to tell actual news.
    • Mayor Befufftlefumpter was apparently possibly responsible for World War 1. Somehow.
  • And Dipper's opinion of Mayor Stan.
    Dipper: I know Stan isn't the best candidate. Heck, he's committing voter fraud right now.
    (Cut to Stan shoving piles of ballots in the voting box)
  • Dipper consulting Ford for a mind-control tie:
    Dipper: "...And he insists on speaking his mind!"
  • Dipper and Mabel (mostly Mabel) testing out the mind control tie by making Soos eat a pine cone.
  • Tad Strange. Just... Tad Strange.
    • There's just something utterly hilarious about getting the guy who played Cecil Gershwin Palmer to play the most normal person in Gravity Falls.
    • The fandoms reaction to his revelation is pretty hilarious too; theory after theory tried to discern who “Tad Strange” was, from a distant relative of Dipper and Mabel, to Ford’s third partner, to another dream demon, only to find out it’s actually this guy.
    Soos: Everyone in this town is a tad strange. Except, ironically, Tad Strange.
    Tad Strange: Hi, everyone. Tad's the name, being normal's my game.
    Mabel: Loving you, Tad!
    Tad Strange: And I love bread!
  • Dipper explaining Gravity Falls mayor electoral process. It consists of two events, "the stump speech" (which is performed on an actual stump), and the debate. Which consists of the crowd throwing bird seed at their preferred candidate, and at the end they release the "Freedom Eagle", who flies to the candidate covered in more seed to deliver a "birdly kiss", anointing them mayor.
    *beat as everyone in the room stares at Dipper blankly*
    Dipper: I couldn't make this up if I wanted to.
    • And it all makes perfect sense when you consider it was doubtlessly set up by Quentin Trembley.
    • And when the eagle is released at the end of the debate, it actually does kiss the winning candidate.
  • Stan's radio interview. He states he could take or leave the American flag due to too many stripes when asked about it, he wants to have kids engage in a Lord of the Flies scenario while teaching them swears to 'bring them in the real world' when asked about kids' education, and is cut off as he asks for clarification on whether the interviewee means 'crime in general or his crimes specifically' when asked about crime in Gravity Falls.
    • The phones set up for the interview. Along with a normal phone, there's also a hamburger phone (which is the one Stan uses) and a whale phone.
  • And mere seconds after the interview is cut off, Wendy reveals that people are already making motivationals based on Stan's lines.
  • Stan's many crimes include "shoplifting", "teaching bears to drive", something he invented apparently called "burglebezzlement", "first degree llamacide", "thermometer theft", and "pug trafficking".
    Stan: That llama knew too much... On another note, I got a lot of cheap pugs I need to sell.
  • Ford's offhand mention that he created the mind control tie for "Ronald Reagan's masters."
    Ford: Oh yes, responsibility and…such
  • Bud's Gosh Dang It to Heck! outburst, which he still apologizes for.
  • Dipper and Mabel arguing over what they should have Soos say, while both are still controlling him.
  • Stan's response to the mention of Gideon's imprisonment
    Stan: That was a good day
  • "Kids...if I die... Make sure I get a bigger tombstone than Ford."
  • The twins and Stan finally bury the hatchet at the end, as Stan saves them both from falling and hauls them up a rope.
    Mabel: We're sorry, Stan. We should've supported you, win or lose.
    Stan: I can still drop you, y'know.
  • Tyler the Cute Biker's stump speech must be seen to be believed.
    • And then his beauty queen reaction when he wins.
      Tyler: (Whispers) "Got it!" *sniff* "...Got it!"