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The Reason You Suck Speech / Comic Books

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  • In the fourth issue of G.I. Joe vs. The Transformers: The Art of War, the third G.I. Joe and Transformers crossover miniseries by Devil's Due Publishing, Hawk gives an epic response to Serpent O.R. in regards to why he feels empty in spite of his conquest.
    Hawk: You feel nothing because you've got nothing to make war for. You've got nothing to love, care for, or fight for. You exist to destroy. You're just a weapon. Like your "father" before you, you're nothing but a glorified gun.
  • JLA/Avengers has one from Superman to Thor, and by extension the rest of the heroes of the Marvel Universe. For context, the DC Heroes have seen the Marvel Universe, in particular the horrific massacre of the mutants of Genosha, and are disgusted by how the world treats their heroes and can only assume they aren't doing enough.
    Superman: Tell yourself that, Mister... Ease yourself to sleep at night while you let your world go to Hell! Where I come from, though...LIVES MATTER!
    • Later deconstructed with the discovery that the instability of the current crisis caused Superman and Cap to be emotionally off-balance as they were particularly in sync with their worlds; just as Superman accused the Avengers of not doing enough, Cap expressed concern that the Justice League controlled their world rather than defending it, the final issue seeing the two acknowledging that they do worry that the other's observations are correct.
  • In the Star Trek/Legion of Super-Heroes crossover, Kirk delivers one to Emperor Vandar the First- a version of Vandal Savage who has ruled Earth's empire since the Stone Age after he somehow captured and harnessed the power of Q; Vandar is convinced that his world has only come this far through his conquest of other races, but Kirk denounces him as nothing but a foolish caveman so caught up in his own belief that strength alone accomplishes anything that he never learned to think about the possibilities of tomorrow.

  • Megatron does one of these in the climax of the first arc of the Dreamwave Transformers comic, punctuated by people in the battle zone acting like total bastards. Prime gets to answer with his own Shut Up, Hannibal! speech accompanied by people putting their best sides forward, and punctuated by a group of them dropping half a dozen trucks on Megatron's head to return the favor.
  • The Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye:
    • After Getaway is locked in the brig for trying to use Tailgate to execute Megatron Tailgate finds him and...well:
    Tailgate: Oh. The one person I can find to talk to and it's you... are you even listening to me? You tried to kill me and now you're ignoring me?! I'd say you were ashamed, but I don't think you've got it in you. And Cyclonus! You nearly got him killed too! See this? *holds up a tube* It's his Innermost Energon. It was by my beside when I woke up. So where is he? Where's everyone else? No? Nothing? Well — (smashes a nearby wall) — you then. See ya Getaway, I hope you get the life you deserve.
    • Just before teleporting out of Vector Sigma with the rest of the crew, Functionist Universe!Rung has a few choice words for the Council:
    Rung: You know my secret—but I know yours, too. For years, you've avoided coming down here—and it wasn't because of the ununtrium. It was because you had a theory. You had a theory about your own alt mode—your collective alt mode—and you were afraid to put it to the test. It's impossible to activate Vector Sigma without unlocking it...And the Council turns into the key. But ever since Nine-of-Twelve defected, you've been incomplete. Without him, there can be no key—and Vector Sigma must remain dormant. And yet, here we are. Vector Sigma is unlocked, and your worst suspicions are confirmed...The key is unnecessary. It's a piece of religious paraphernalia. A decoration. You turn—you all turn—into an ornament. Or to put it another way...All hail the useless ones.
  • Transformers: Optimus Prime: Just as Starscream is beginning to think that maybe, maybe, he is the Chosen One, and everything he's done in life has been entirely justified, and the universe is on his side, Shockwave shows up to entirely disabuse him of the notion.
    Shockwave: (after pointing out the apparent Gambit Roulette in place) I suppose luck was on my side. You surprise me, Starscream... (kills Metrotitan) ... you are stupider than I anticipated. I placed your name in history books millions of years ago. I built a civilization and watched it fall, all to engineer your rise. All for this moment. I needed a fool in charge of Cybertron. A powerful leader - an Optimus, a Megatron, an Arcee, perhaps even this Windblade - they would have seen what was coming. But I knew you would never look past your own reflection. You would leave Cybertron weak, ready for that which is to come. Yet you exceeded your duties.
  • Transformers Spotlight: Megatron: Megatron has just been brought back in a new body and is eager to take back the Decepticons from Starscream (the Decepticons were suffering under Starscream's rule) as well as to beat the tar out of the Seeker. When he sees the pathetic wreck that Starscream has become and how he wants to be punished, Megatron delivers one hell of a devastating speech.
    Megatron: Your silence is wearing, Starscream. So it falls to me to summarize your achievements. Under your rule, the infrastructure of the Decepticon military body lies in tatters, with no functioning communication network in operation throughout the force. Our race has been reduced to pilfering scraps of Energon from substandard alien sources and jumping through hoops for fuel and shelter amongst the fleshlings. The High Command of this once-feared army huddle on an asteroid of no strategic worth, while at their feet, their underlings consume and cannibalize one another. I hope it was everything you'd wished for, because this is what it's like when you get what you want. All. Hail. Starscream. You must be very proud.
  • In The Transformers: Unicron, Shockwave has just learned that his Maximal minions have betrayed him to side with Unicron. He is then overpowered by his formerly loyal Dragon Rhinox, who delivers this short, sharp speech as he prepares to execute Shockwave with his own severed Arm Cannon:
    Shockwave: You… you serve me…
    Rhinox: I served Onyx Prime. I served a lie. This is your doing. You pulled strings, heedless of those you hurt. With mathematical precision you proved faith to be a lie… so why would anyone follow you?

    Archie's Sonic The Hedgehog 
  • Archie Comics' Sonic the Hedgehog:
    • In issue #175, Dr. Eggman lays down a brutal one, along with an epic beatdown, on Sonic.
      I'm surprised you retain your confidence after so many failures, or did you forget what happened to Tommy Turtle and Sir Connery? You never deroboticized your friends and family. And your father is still a robot! Or how about your love-life, eh? Sally, Mina, even Fiona! So... How come you're all alone? [...] I want our last game to have some merit. [...] You thought your pithy resistance actually had some kind of toe-hold against my empire? The world fell to me so quickly, so easily, that I was left with nothing to do! I allowed you Freedom Fighters to exist so that I might entertain myself! I will concede that you all have won my war game more times then not, but so what? Is Mobius any more free now than it was years ago? [...] Hahaha! Oh, your futile actions amuse me so! You'll never win this battle, Sonic, you can't! You were finished before the Egg Fleet even began bombardment. This battle suit is specifically designed to match and outclass your speed and strength! [...] Like I said, Sonic... You're outmatched, outclassed... you're not fast enough... you're not strong enough... and you certainly aren't smart enough to defeat me. [...] I'm not playing with you, rodent. Run— Run all over the world and try to start a new Freedom Fighter group. You will find no one. So run — For the rest of your life — and never escape the humiliation of today.
    • In a rare heroic example of the trope, Sonic fires one back in issue #200.
      Sonic: Impressive resume, Doc. You missed a couple of key points, though. Like how a group of kids with no real training took back that city. And you croaked, more or less.
      Dr. Eggman: I came back! I took the city back!
      Sonic: Yeah, what... for a month? Tops? And then you goofed and let the whole thing get nuked by missiles! And now the slag powers New Mobotropolis, so thanks for that!
      Dr. Eggman: Shut up!
      Sonic: And about that empire of yours... you know about all the places you don't control, right?
      Dr. Eggman: Trifles! Specks on the windshield!
      Sonic: Hahaha! In denial, Doc? The United Federation alone has at least a half-dozen city-states in it! And then there's all the Freedom Fighter groups fighting you all over the world every day. And you aren't too popular in the regions that you DO outright control. You can't really claim to "control" the planet when you're fighting for it your every waking hour! Sure, you beat me fair and square not long ago. I'll give you props for that. But how many badniks have I stomped? How many times have I sent you packing? I've beaten you before, Eggman. A lot. And I'll do it again.
    • ...and then he rubs more salt in the wound by picking up the fallen dictator's spectacles, and kneeling beside him, saying, "I'll be content with "Nyah nyah" and "I win."

      ...and immediately comes to regret it after seeing the aftermath. Though it was foreshadowed that this would have happened, speech or no speech, Sonic goes on to muse that things "went too far" in the next issue.
    • Following this turn of events, Snively takes his uncle's place and stuffs Eggman, now a gibbering wreck, into a cell, gleefully handing one of these any spare time he has. This turns on him when Eggman regains his composure. When Snively continues to insult from outside his cell, having now made an alligence with the Iron Queen and fallen in love with her, Eggman laughs at him and hands it back, reducing him to a sobbing wreck.
      Snively: I have everything I want now, Uncle. I have power, I have authority, and I've found love. Love you fat fool. Why would I want to go back to being your toady? Sonic's been chased out of the city, I'm with Regina and I've never been happier. Why on Mobius would I want that to change?
      Eggman: GWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Regina? Regina Ferrum? The Iron Queen?
      Snively: Y-yes, we're in love.
      Eggman: Ha-ha-ha. You deluded little twerp. She doesn't love you. She's a manipulator. She played you for a sap, and you? You CAN'T love! The only person you care about is you. You'll save yourself before even thinking about her. She's just a stepping stone for you, only you've fooled yourself into thinking otherwise.
      Snively: N-no! Y-you're wrong! Our love is real, and you can stay here and rot!
      Eggman: (Evil Laugh) You'll be back Snively! You'll be back!
    • Issue #192 has Jules delivering one to Scourge that actually sends him away in tears.
      Jules: I want you to understand I will do whatever it takes to keep my son safe.
      Scourge: Cute. Trying to prove you're not afraid of me?
      Jules: What's to be afraid of? This world is filled with heroic beings that fight a single great evil. That tells me that your world is full of cowards, each doing their part to ruin their world. That's why you don't scare me — because I know, at your core, that you're a coward, too.
      Scourge: Coward? I conquered a planet on my own!
      Jules: You brought a different brand of ruination.
      Scourge: Try again, pops. On my world, we had a time called "The Great Peace". My dad was part of that. Brought everyone together in one big group hug. Ten years later, everything had stagnated and fallen apart. I didn't ruin the world. I woke it up!
      Scourge: Not really anarchy since everyone bows to me. Since you seem so hung up on correlations, how do you like this one: Sonic's dad isn't really a Mobian anymore. My dad simply isn't.
      Jules: Are you trying to shock me? Intimidate me? That falls short when the world-conquering "king" has to sneak in during the middle of the night to get a leg up on my boy.
      Scourge: Sonic's good at smashing bots. Wanna see what I can do?
      Jules: I am not your father. I was on the front lines of the Great War. I won't go quietly. And while you may not care about the loss of your Jules, I'm certain my son will be very upset. Do you want that on your head too?
      Scourge: (starts to tear up and leaves) Just a bunch of empty words. You're no different from my old man after all.
    • Come 4 issues later where Sonic delivers a bit of his own to Scourge after tricking him into depowering, with a nice heroic Badass Boast on the side:
      Scourge: Cheated... me... I'm... King... Conquered... This whole planet... You're... nothing...
      Sonic: (swats the crown off of Scourge's head, shattering it) You're a bully and that's it. You take the easy, nasty way out and get the quick reward. Big whoop. I do things the right way. I help others to make something bigger and better than just mean. The good guys always win in the long run. And there isn't anybody who can run longer or better than I can.
    • Issue 235 has Sonic handing out a scathing one to Silver, after the former finally blows his stack with the latter's Inspector Javert tendencies. For reference, the latter accuses Antoine and Bunnie of being traitors with little-to-no evidence to back up his accusations... and with the unfortunate timing of right after Sonic had just seen Sally be roboticised into Mecha-Sally, and the aforementioned Antoine rendered comatose after saving Elias and the Acorns from Metal Sonic. For emphasis, Sonic delivers it by first smashing Silver through a wall, and then nearly spin-dashing him to oblivion.
      Sonic: LISTEN! (grabs him) There. Is. No Traitor. I believe in my friends. I believe you're a flake. Each one of them is a hundred times the hero you want to be. Now. Get. Out. Go. Home.
      Silver: (horrified) But... I can't. I'm stranded here...
      Sonic: (dismisses him furiously) Then get out of my sight.
    • Issue 240 has Ixis Nagaus given three in a row. The first is by Mina Mongoose's mother, who decides that NICOLE should return from her exile, pointing out that former Mobian Council member Rotor's team protected New Mobotropolis than he ever did after he took up the throne and ousted Elias. The second comes from Alicia Acorn, who ends up driving him away when Ixis attempts to tempt Max Acorn so he can take over his body. The last comes from Sonic's parents who prove that they were some of the few people who question why they'd trust a man who'd spent most of his time fighting their kids.
    • E-123 Omega gives one to E-102 Gamma in Sonic Universe #3 whilst on a mission to find and destroy his older counterpart — calling him obsolete compared to himself and daring to try and harm him. In response, Gamma delivers a speech of his own in cold monotone as he counters the argument; punctuating it by knocking his successor onto his metallic backside with a few well-placed shots.
      Omega: Surrender, brother. Do not embarrass yourself further. A single one of my shots would tear through that old armor of yours. I detect smoke. Is that your grav-linked jet disc? Pathetic. You would not get far with it, even if it were in perfect condition. You are outdated, brother. Slower, weaker. You cannot outrun me... and that pitiful gun of yours cannot harm me.
      Gamma: E-123, codename Omega. The last of my line. I downloaded your file. Your armor is heavy — but so are you. Your speed is great — but you're unwieldy. Your jets are stronger — but you're louder. I do not have such limitations. I am nimble. I cover ground more easily. As for weaponry...
      (takes three precise shots at Omega, downing him) You are a walking arsenal. I am an assassin.

    Star Wars 
  • Darth Vader: Dark Lord of the Sith: Jocasta Nu delivers a speech to Vader about how he's nothing but a blind tool to Palpatine and that the emperor wanted to use the data crystal with a list of force sensitives to make more like Vader as possible replacments. She then followed this up with a question that caused Vader to kill her, and destroy any chance of the Sith to get the complete list of Force Sensitives in the gallaxy, just as she planned.
  • Star Wars: Doctor Aphra: Aphra gets called out on many occasions due to using and abusing people, even those she cares about. Triple Zero gives one to Aphra unintentionally after she complains about how judgmental Luke is at the end of the Screaming Citadel arc.
    Aphra: Judgmental piece of blonde Tatooine Bantha dung. He annoys me so much.
    Triple-Zero: I can imagine. he went through an experience just as traumatic as yours and remains a positive, delightful person, devoted to a better existence for all sentient life. And you realize how special he is too late to retain his respect. That must be an awful reminder of your own failings of character. To be honest Master, I'm not sure if I'd be able to live with myself.


  • Tom Noir gives one to John Horus, the superhero who killed the U.S. president, at the end of Black Summer:
    Tom Noir: You want to change the nature of justice in America and you kill a president? What did you think that made you? Two-fisted Super-Jesus for the American Way? It made you Lee Harvey Oswald, you prick. You know what? Lots of people hated John F. Kennedy. He barely got elected. But Lee Harvey Oswald isn't remembered as an American hero. Just a prick with a gun who killed the president. That's you now, John.
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  • In Conan the Avenger, Conan does this to Prince Almuric. After being forcefully conscripted in his army, hearing all day about the justness of his cause, only to be led form disaster to disaster, and then blame Conan for all their problems... menacing to reveal the secret of the treasure he was searching from, finally broke the camel's back for Conan:
    Conan: Oh, shut up, you oozing corpse's tit. You lice dropping. You pampered aristocratic man-child. If you actually just admited you are a rich coward who fled your homeland the minute king Strabonus didn't fell over the minute you breathed on him hard — to the lawless south, where your failures would not be constantly reflected back at you — then, and only then, once you averred you were no better than me, and wanted this gold for one reason only — which is to cure all the ills of having no gold — then I might trust you well enough to share a tavern bench with me — but no to lead you to buried treasure.
  • In Cerebus the title character gets this from his own creator. Cerebus has had much of his life explained to him, and given several possible futures for the remaining 100 issues of the 300-issue series. None of them work out, and when Dave Sim narrates how Cerebus' inner nature remains, his ignorance, his insensitivity, his self-absorption, his— Cerebus interrupts with a "shut up." "Shut up? Ah, no. No, my obnoxious little grey creation" and proceeds to use the comic book medium to beat the hell out of Cerebus, telling him "You shut up and you fucking listen for once in your fucking life!!!"
    • Several issues, Cerebus hears much the same thing from Bear, one of his closest friends and idols. Funny thing, Cerebus dies in #300, still not having learned very much.
  • Jack Chick tracts have these from time to time. Of course, given these are Chick Tracts, whether you'll actually care is... debatable.
    • In "Four Angels?", Henry gives his brother Charlie one. He visits Charlie after dinner, saying that he can't eat with a fornicator. Charlie and his brothers protest that Charlie is a man of God.
      Charlie: Too good to join us for dinner?
      Henry: No, Charlie. The Word of God says "If any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, with such an one no not to eat."
      Charlie: How dare you? I'm a man of God!
      Henry: (angrily) No, you're not Charlie. God says "Woe be unto the pastors who destroy... the sheep of my pasture!" "Cursed be he who doeth the work of the Lord deceitfully!"
      Frank: Shut up, Henry. Both Bobby and I really respect Charles. Everyone says he's wonderful.
      Charlie: (smugly) What do you say to that, Little Henry?
      Henry: The Word says, "But if ye have respect to persons, ye commit sins..." (shouting) You snake! You've trampled the blood of Jesus underfoot by your wicked life. Woe unto you, Charlie. You've become a friend of the world and an enemy of God.
      Bobby: Henry, are you saying Charlie is on his way to Hell?
      Henry: I didn't say it. The Word of God does.
    • In "The Letter," Mildred gets a lengthy one from her friend Frances, for not telling her about the gospel
    We walked by day and night, and yet you showed me not the light.
    You let me live, love and die, and all the while you knew I'd never live on high.
    Yes, I called you friend in life, and I trusted you in joy and strife...
    and yet, in coming to this end, I see you really weren't my friend.
    • A jail guard gives one to Bad Bob and his cousin after Bad Bob fiercely rebuffs an attempt to witness to him, albeit by a young man the guard doesn't fully agree with.
      "If two guys ever deserved hell, it's you two. You didn't have to destroy that kid the way you did. He might be a little off base, but he's sincere. I'm a Christian... and let me tell you, that kid's got more guts than the two of together. Anyone can be rebellious and crude like you guys. But it takes real guts to stand up for God like that kid did. He cared about you and wanted to help you. But you are too blind to see it. Whether you know it or not, we all deserve to burn in hell. But God in His mercy sent His only begotten son to shed His precious blood and die on the cross to pay the penalty for our sins. But you two have spit in God's face and rejected His gift of eternal life, so both of you are on your way to the lake of fire."
  • Lupo Alberto: In the story "Canto di Ferragosto"note , a summer-themed parody of A Christmas Carol, Moses cancels his fellows McKenzies' summer vacation, because there's a lot to do in the farm. That night, as the plot demand it, he has a vision of his past, present and future related to his Jerkass behaviour. In all three time periods he gets a speech by Alberto:
    1. Past!Alberto: "I have the feeling you and I will never get along. Maybe because I hate fat, and you're the biggest fatball that it ever rolled in front of me!
      ## With a pun:
      Alberto: "Let's recap the riddle! It's white outside and black inside, he has a heart of stone and a loggerhead! It growls, bites and roars, and it's an animal... What is?"
      Future!Alberto: "If fatball spends every summer all alone, it's not my fault! Everyone is allowed to behave selfishly, and he never did anything else! AND THAT'S THE RESULT!
    • Another noticeable one is in "La parola alla difesa" note : the plot consists in Moses planning to permanently keep away Alberto from the farm suing him. Let's just say this plan backfires Moses hardly. Nevertheless, the dog didn't learn anything from the experience, persisting in his violent way towards Alberto, whose comment is:
    "Double your brain and you'll be a moron anyway, fatball."
    • Also, in the same story, the judge gives one to Moses, Alberto and their respective lawyers (that he calls a "meddling hyena and a crazy mole". Moses' lawyer had stalked Alberto and his girlfriend Marta and took pictures while they had sex, and Enrico, the mole, had spent the whole time making stupid jokes that proved he wasn't actually a lawyer) before banishing all of them from the farm for a week. The above happens in the aftermath, when Moses is forced to stay in the forest Alberto lives.
  • The history teacher at the Princess Academy in Princess Ugg dishes out an epic one to his shallow Princess Classic students:
    "Let me ask you something, ladies. While you fill your heads with thoughts of handsome princes, what do you supposed they think about? Never considered it? I'm amazed. The history and glory of their future kingdoms. That's what's on most prince's minds. History, Hunting, and Horseflesh pretty much sums it up. So when you meet your True Love you may want to have something to chat about beyond sewing tapestries. Otherwise they may not stick around long enough to marry you."
  • The Shadow is quite prone to giving them out to his enemies prior to dispatching them. Case in point, the "My City" poem from In The Coils of Leviathan
    Without the spur of retribution your crime becomes mundane, your evil intent an uncontrolled inconsideration gliding toward the salavic pool of insipid casual pastime—a sort of breathing puppet gesture with no effort of personal involvement—while you cry that you are owed a living by the World. The Crime of your crime becomes insult in addition to injury; the unasked question I take as mine to answer.
    Isn't your hand the hand that moves against the rewards of Humanity with a self-love inspired single-mindedness...isn't it your boast that you search not for shadowed anonymity in the lee of brighter personalities, but a well-lit corridor of focused admiration, a tube of consent to siphon the praise of one's imagined betters? Your foot feels for the top step and I take it from you fall through the night my laughter follows...I will laugh behind you for the ones you gracelessly pillaged of their belief in hope. I will point and mock behind you for the ones who lost their ability to justify your life: they were to be your last escape. I will be there by the wall, in the corner of your laughter, in the hollow of your comfort, in the tide of your love-making. To say to you thou shalt not sleep but to dream of me; thou shalt not wake but to see my figure leaning across the path of your life; I will deny you the joys of a life earned at the expense of the still will never again smile in amusement without the crinkled eyelid of doubt.
    I will haunt you as the chosen focus you longed to be. How often have you held out your bruised subjects for the hoped-for off-stage applause of an imagined presence: a Mastermind, a Potent Force, casting in your own truncated self-image some Lord of Crime, mailed fist holding all the cords of Award and Despair. It was he who would turn his eye from the Banquet at your catalogue of infliction to dispense the rewards you believed yourself to have earned in imitation of this Figment, this Icon, this Power. You stretched beyond your full height in grateful anticipation, not expecting to find me standing across the laden table. When you courted the notoriety you saw as laurel, you could not guess who'd spread the table and polished the proffered crown, holding it just out of your reach above the pit of undulations, the pit of lamentation, the eternal falling dream of not daring to open your eyes...
    Cry out that you are not the only one to blame: is this the excuse you offer to the blameless who now blame you? Cry out that you are sorry and the repetition will only paper the blank wall of dread around you with the accusing epitaph of sorrow you caused into being by the wake of your passage through these other's lives. Cry out in anger, in petulance, in blind fury, rage and will only echo back in fugued octaves of your fear.
    Would you tell me now of your self-loathing, your bile, your illness of spirit and substance, of your inner betrayal, your inner affliction? As if I didn't know?
    Would you tell me now, at long last, of your Repentance?
    In my laughter you will hear my final judgement:
    Tell it to the Worms.
  • In Don Rosa's story The Treasury of Croesus, Donald Duck calls out both his Uncle Scrooge and Magica de Spell for their greed.
    Donald: I've had a bellyful of both you eternal fools! Year in, year out, you bring grief on yourselves all for the sake of getting rich, staying rich, or getting richer still! You'll never be happy, because you always worry about what you'll do next to complicate your own greedy lives!
  • In the original G.I. Joe comic, Cobra Commander hands one of these to Serpentor after straight-up kicking his ass, claiming the reason he lost was because out of all the DNA of all the great conquerors he's made up of, he's missing the DNA of the greatest one of them all, Cobra Commander's! Also counts as a Badass Boast on CC's part.
  • In Incorruptible #20, Hayes Bellamy delivers one to Max Damage while torturing him. He ends his speech with one Armor-Piercing Question:
    Bellamy: Have you really made a difference for even one person?
    • After Max's former sidekick Jailbait comes to the rescue and kills Bellamy before leaving for parts unknown, Max has an answer:
      Max: That's one, Bellamy. There'll be more.
  • In issue #4 of Mega Man, Wily tries giving one to Mega Man. It doesn't faze him.
    Wily: "Handle" me? You can't handle me! You're a helper robot, Rock! You hand tools to competent people! You're no great warrior! You're a janitor! A gofer! A lackey! I could've stolen you with the rest of the Robot Masters, but I didn't. And do you know why? You weren't worth the effort! So why don't you stop hiding so I can vaporize you and save you any further embarrassment?
    Mega Man: I'm not embarrassed, Dr. Wily. I have a creator who cares for me and does all he can to support me. I have a sister who loves me and forgave me for being stupid. You had to steal all Dr. Light's robots to get attention. Even though you reprogrammed them, you couldn't stop a "lackey" like me. So which of us should really be embarrassed, Doctor Wily?
  • In My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (IDW) the mane cast gives one to Queen Chrysalis about how she knows nothing about friendship, love or fashion.
  • Charlie Brown gives one in Peanuts, at the end of a week of strips where Lucy has spent the whole week trying to get the kids in the neighborhood to call her "Cutie". CB finally loses his temper:
    Charlie Brown: You want someone to call you 'cutie?' Ha! That's a laugh! You've never acted cute in your whole life. You're crabby, you're bossy and you're inconsiderate! You're just about as 'uncute' as a person can get!
    Lucy: I'm an "uncutie!"
  • Morpheus delivers a classic one to the Corinthian, whom he created to be a revelatory nightmare, but who has settled for being a superpowered Serial Killer. Then he melts the Corinthian down and starts over.
    • ...and then proceeds to give one to an audience composed of serial killers (they're having a convention), and takes away their dreams of importance, making them see how small and insignificant they are in the scheme of things.

  • In V for Vendetta, V sneaks into a TV station and replaces the usual broadcast (the evening news and bad sitcoms) with a recording of him giving the British public, and the human race in general, a severe dressing-down. It's quite possibly one of the most epic insult speeches ever put to paper:
    V: I suppose you're wondering why I called you here this evening. Well, you see, I'm not entirely satisfied with your performance lately... I'm afraid your work's been slipping, and... And I'm afraid we've been thinking about letting you go. Oh, I know, I know. You've been with the company a long time now. Almost... let me see. Almost ten thousand years! my word, doesn't time fly? It seems like only yesterday... I remember the day you commenced your employment, swinging down from the trees, fresh-faced and nervous, a bone clasped in your bristling fist... "Where do I start, sir?" You asked, plaintively." I recall my exact words: "there's a pile of dinosaur eggs over there, youngster." I said, smiling paternally the while. "Get sucking." Well, we've certainly come a long way since then, haven't we? And yes, yes, you're right, in all that time you haven't missed a day. Well done, thou good and faithful servant. Also, please don't think I've forgotten about your outstanding service record, or about all the invaluable contributions you've made to the company... Fire, the wheel, agriculture... It's an impressive list, old timer. A jolly impressive list. Don't get me wrong. But... Well, to be frank, we've had our problems, too. There's no getting away from it. Do you know what I think a lot of it stems from? I'll tell you... It's your basic unwillingness to get on with the company. You don't seem to want to face up to any real responsibility, or to be your own boss. Lord knows, you've been given plenty of opportunities... We've offered you promotion time and time again, and each time you've turned us down. "I couldn't handle the work, guv'nor," you wheedled. "I know my place." To be frank, you're not trying, are you? You see, you've been standing still for far too long, and it's starting to show in your work... And I might add, in your general standard of behaviour. The constant bickering on the factory floor has not escaped my attention... Nor the recent bouts of rowdiness in the staff canteen. Then of course there's... Hmm. Well, I really didn't want to have to bring this up, but... Well, you see, I've been hearing some disturbing rumours about your personal life. No, never you mind who told me. No names, no pack drills... I understand that you are unable to get on with your spouse. I hear that you argue. I am told that you shout. Violence has been mentioned. I am reliably informed that you always hurt the one you love... The one you shouldn't hurt at all. And what about the children? It's always the children who suffer, as you're well aware. Poor little mites, what are they to make of it? What are they to make of your bullying, your despair, your cowardice and all your fondly nurtured bigotries? Really, it's not good enough, is it? And it's no good blaming the drop in work standards upon bad management, either... Though, to be sure, the management is very bad. In fact, let us not mince words... The management is terrible! We've had a string of embezzlers, frauds, liars and lunatics making a string of catastrophic decisions. This is plain fact. But who elected them? It was you! You who appointed these people! You who gave them the power to make your decisions for you! While I'll admit that anyone can make a mistake once, to go on making the same lethal errors century after century seems to me nothing short of deliberate. You have encouraged these malicious incompetents, who have made your working life a shambles. You have accepted without question their senseless orders. You have allowed them to fill your workspace with dangerous and unproven machines. You could have stopped them. All you had to say was NO! You have no spine. You have no pride. You are no longer an asset to the company. I will, however, be generous. You will be granted two years to show me some improvement in your work. If at the end of that time you are still unwilling to make a go of it... You're fired. That will be all. You may return to your labours.
  • In Wanted, Wesley Gibson gives one of these to the reader.
  • Watchmen:
    Dr. Manhattan: I am disappointed, Veidt. Very disappointed. Restructuring myself after the subtraction of my intrinsic field was the first trick I learned. It didn't kill Osterman... Did you think it would kill me? I've walked across the Sun. I've seen events so tiny and so fast they hardly can be said to have occurred at all, but you... You are a man. And the world's smartest man means no more to me than does its smartest termite.
  • The Great Power of Chninkel: The heretic chninkel king N'om gives O'ne a particularly scathing one, asserting that everything, from the time he blasphemed against the Creator, was a ploy to ensure everyone on Daar would worship It for all eternity. O'ne replies by raining fire on earth and wiping out almost all life.
  • In Youngblood (2017), Petra, the new Vogue gives Shaft a short but succinct one when he refuses to listen why she reformed Youngblood.
    Vogue: You don't want to know what's going on here, do you? You fucked up, and it's so much easier to bury your head than remember what Youngblood was supposed to be.


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