Nope, this is not the page to post quotes about obvious lies. There are no quotes here, none at all.
Shinji: Liar! Your status page isn't even updated!!
Narrator: That was a lie. This young man has even taken a leave of absence from his part-time job so he could stay up studying in the ten nights before the test.
Kaguya: That's a good point. Tests are a reflection of your own abilities. Even if you push yourself hard and get a decent score, that doesn't predict the future. The best thing to do is take it in a relaxed manner.
Narrator: That was a lie. This young lady is taking the finals extremely seriously.
Ishigami: I'm studying hard for finals this time around. Well, I'm going home to study.
Narrator: That was a lie. This young man only wants to continue playing the video game he bought recently. He has the nerve to buy a game right before exams.
Kaguya: And the amount you study won't necessarily translate into higher scores. Not studying is indeed a viable choice.
Shirogane: That's right. Instead of studying, in the days before a test, I just sit cross-legged and focus on the subject.
Fujiwara: I see. Understood. I won't study!
Narrator: She's serious.
Philip: D-did I...?
Linda: If you're going to lie, at least try to be consistent!
Chicolini: Oh no, I no leave.
Mrs. Teasdale: But I saw you with my own eyes!
Chicolini: Well, who you gonna believe, me or your own eyes?
Yondu: Is he cool?
Quill: ...Hell yeah, he's cool.
Yondu: I'm Marry Poppins, y'all!
Frank: Under control? You're grabbing a fucking bazooka, dumbass!
My attention caught by the gun, I only barely caught my dad's question. "What are they like?"
"They seem like good people."
"Was," I said. "It's a big difference."
Sundancer looked at the mound of ice, rock and forcefields. Echidna was thrusting her clawed hands through the barriers, only for them to be reinforced.
"Are there... does she have anyone inside her?"
"There's-" Tattletale started. I flew a bug into her mouth and down her throat, and she choked.
"No," I lied. "I've been keeping track with my bugs. Weld and the others got everyone out."
Saved everyone they could. If Weld had backed out and nobody else was able to free the small handful that were still trapped, that was it.
Nobody was correcting me. They knew, but they werent correcting me.
Hobbie: Boss, please tell me you're not putting us in women's clothing.
Wedge: Very well. I'm not putting us in women's clothing.
(In the next chapter, the four pilots are in women's clothing)
Hobbie: You lied to me.
Wedge: I did. With my brilliant achievements in the diplomatic profession has come the realization that lies can be powerful motivators.
Hobbie: My faith is shattered.
Wedge: You knew, when I said we needed four sets of women's clothing, that we were going to end up in them. You knew. So any hopes you had to the contrary were just self-delusion.
Hobbie: I understand that. But I'd rather blame you than me.
Bryukhanov: (looks at Shcherbina with an "Oh, fuck!" sort of facial expression, then turns to Fomin) Fomin, why did the Deputy Chairman see graphite on the roof?
Fomin: Well, that... that can't be. Comrade Shcherbina, my apologies, but graphite... that's not possible. Perhaps you saw burnt concrete?
Shcherbina: Now there, you made a mistake, because I may not know much about nuclear reactors, but I know a lot about concrete.
Ace: What if I had?
The Doctor: Naturally, you wouldn't do anything so insanely dangerous as to carry it around with you, would you?
Ace: Of course not. I'm a good girl, I do what I'm told.
The Doctor: Excellent. Blow up that vehicle.
Ace: (delighted grin)
Ted: I did! I told him great big massive lies with feckin' bells hanging off them!
Tape: Uh, we're Throbbing Gristle, and we'd just like to make a small announcement: all the sounds you hear tonight are generated live as we're playing, there are no prepared backing tapes and no Revoxes.
Sincerely, The President.
Ted: I was killed by a squadron of giant military squirrels.
Wally: He doesn't respect you enough to tell a plausible lie.
Dilbert: I demand a plausible lie!
Ted: Okay, maybe I wasn't killed by giant military squirrels. But I was imprisoned in their secret lair at the center of the earth.
Wally: You can't prove that one either way.
Dilbert: He did say it was a "secret" lair.
Uncle Donnie: Oh, this! I got to tell you, some fucking psycho just cut my fucking hand off and made limb stew out of those three mutilated fuckers floating around the boat, here. He's swimming that way if you want to fucking catch the bastard.
Cop: Sir, have you been drinking?
Uncle Donnie: I had a few chardonnays, what of it?
Cop: You're going to have to come with us.
Uncle Donnie: Alright, Sherlock Holmes, I killed them. But, you'll never catch me 'cuz I'm the fastest fucking butterfly swimmer in the fucking world!
Alex Shrub: No one is interested in your statistics, Chavez. Let me tell you something pal, I'm better than that. I will not — I shall not — I cannot stoop to your level! They assured me that this was a show that understood politics, where we can debate mano-a-mano. And I find myself having statistics hurled at me like so much stale confetti. We cannot boil people down to numbers!
(everyone is outside, with Jade alone with Dist in the room)
Dist: (while the ground is shaking) ... AAAAAAHHH!! S-stop! Stop! You're killing me!! Jade, I'm sorryyyyyy!!!
Jade: (comes out alone, completely deadpan) It seems the earthquakes have led to more frequent avalanches. Also, an extremely powerful monster has taken up residence in the deeper parts. The monsters in the area have likely grown aggressive due to at influence.
Luke: O-okay... Um, about that scream just now...
Jade: Oh, that was nothing. Now let's be going.
Marisa Kirisame: That isn't true. I haven't told a single lie since I was born.
Clango: Nowhere! I briefly ceased to exist in time and space!
Maura: That doesn't sound suspicious at all.
Doorbot: Robots onl... what's that on your head?
Antimony: These are my antennas, because I am clearly a robot.
Doorbot: Oh! Well... it's true that some robots have antennas... hmm...
Antimony: Also, robots never lie.
Doorbot: Hey, you're right! Come on in, friends!
Antimony: We are looking for a particular robot. A... fellow robot. Because we are also robots.
Doorbot: Administration is right down that way.
Reynardine: Your powers of deception and trickery are bewildering, child.
Ms. Pauling: Well, not all of us, obviously. I mean, Medic's German and Heavy's from Russ-
Heavy: (nudge nudge)
Ms. Pauling: Ow! What? Oh.
Heavy: Ha ha! Germany! Russia! Is big joke! Big American joke on Soldier!
Soldier: Ha! You got me!
Heavy: Ohh, America, it is the place I am from. All the time.
Susan: I was thinking about baseball.
Diane: No you weren't.
Susan: Congrats, Sherlock.
Evan: I wonder who you are.
Jon: I'm, uh, Mario.
Azura: Mario has the PAWNCH?
Jon: Mario has a poncho. He's, uh, from Mexico.
Ashley: Or is he from Spain?
Jon: Ethnic minority Mario! Collect them all!
Cait Sith: Oh, you mean Sephiroth?
Cloud: Yeah, have you seen him?!
Cait Sith: No, who is that?
Man: Careful, he has a knife!
Puppy: [holding a knife] Wh-what what???? N-no, no I dont...
Principal Skinner: Uhhh, oh! That isn't smoke! It's steam! Steam from the steamed clams we're having! Mmmm, steamed clams!
Chalmers: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Seymour: Ohoho, no! Patented Skinner burgers! Old family recipe!
Chalmers: For "steamed hams".
Seymour: Yeah, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact they are obviously grilled.
Chalmers: (spots Skinner's burning kitchen) Good Lord! What is happening in there?!
Skinner: Aurora Borealis.
Chalmers: A-Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day?! In this part of the country?! LOCALIZED ENTIRELY WITHIN YOUR KITCHEN?!
Chalmers: (beat) May I see it?