Funny / SMG4 - The Rapper Bob Arc

SMG4 Funny Index
Years: 2011-2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022 | 2023
Arcs: The Waluigi Arc | The Rapper Bob Arc | The Anime Arc | The YouTube Arc | Genesis Arc | Revelations Arc | The Lawsuit Arc
Movies: Meggy's Destiny: An SMG4 Movie | The SMG4 Movie: 10 Year Anniversary Special | SMG4 Movie: Revelations | SMG4 Movie: It's Gotta Be Perfect | SMG4 Movie: Western Spaghetti | SMG4 Movie: PUZZLEVISION
Other: War of the Fat Italians | Guards N' Retards | The Awesome Mario | Sunset Paradise | SMG4 Crew

Beautiful, isn't it?

This arc is Lighter and Softer than the other arcs, and it shows:

The Mario Purge

The Mario Purge is filled with Nightmare Fuel, but there are still several funny moments.

• In the beginning, the contrast between the panicked Mario and the calm, almost relaxed SMG4.
• No one likes Bob. No one. (Besides Tari and Boopkins, and even then, Tari's only concerned for his safety.)
  Toad: Screw that guy. He'd never do the same for us!
  Mario: Yeah! He tried to kill Mario and Luigi when there was a zombie apocalypse!
  Saiko: Ugh, screw him! I wanna smash some losers!
  SMG4: You guys hear something?
  • While the Tubbie Leader is threatening everyone, SMG4 remains adamant they can't get in. Constantly. He's proven wrong when the Tubbies pull a Lord Brevon and smash through the floor.
• Mario hides in some trees from a Teletubbies wielding a chainsaw, hopping between the trees and taunting the Tubbie. Cue Mario taking a bullet to the nuts.
• Toad tries to bargain with one of the Tubbies (Laa-Laa, to be exact) and join in The Purge. Laa-Laa isn't having any of it, and continuously smashes Toad's head into the floor.
• Tari and Saiko get ambushed by a crossbow-wielding Tubbie. They dodge... Tari's duck didn't.
  Saiko: HEY! STOP SCREWING AROUND! (kicks Tari out of the way of several more arrows)
  (The Teletubbies stand there, waving their weapons around)
  Saiko: Ugh... and I thought I was psychotic...
  Tari: I know right! They hurt my duck!!!
  • Both Tari and Saiko conduct a plan: soak the Teletubbies in Saiko's wine then set fire to it via thrown torch. Tari throws the torch... about 3 feet in front of her.
• One of the Teletubbies breaking the tension by threatening to shove a calculator up SMG4's ass.
• Luigi tries to call the police. During The Purge. Funnier still, he forgets the phone number.
• Bob did the most badass illegal thing he could think of: kick away Po's Tubby Custard. Which caused the whole mess in the first place and got everyone chased and kidnapped by Teletubbies. Everyone has looks on their faces that scream "When I get free, I'm going to beat the shit out of you." Even Tari has that look!
  • All while Bob remains blissfully ignorant to it all.
  Bob: Man I'm such a badass.

Mario And... The Well

The episode starts with Boopkins being stuck inside a well, and everyone has a plan to get him out.

• Mario throws a shovel, hitting Boopkins, and tells Boopkins to dig up to get out. When he's in a well. A brick well.
• SMG4 tells him to dig up. Then tries fishing him out... but the hook is sharp, so Boopkins avoids it like the plague. SMG4 finally gets something, but it's a massive rock that sends him flying.
  • Luigi turns his Poltergust up to HYPERDRIVE to suck Boopkins out. It does nothing. Mario and SMG4's warped faces sell it.
• Bowser tries to put Luigi closer. When that doesn't work, he advises digging up.
• Tari sends down a care package, hitting Boopkins again.
• Shroomy throws a rope down, but Boopkins can't climb it. So he asks Boopkins if he's tried digging up.
• Jeeves gets everyone to pull the rope out along with Boopkins, but Mario gets distracted by a shiny quarter and Boopkins fails to get out of the well. Again.
• After that, everyone starts to mourn Boopkins, with Toad even giving a funeral speech.
  Boopkins: Hey I'm still alive, you know!
• Meggy and Saiko (the Woomy Brigade) show up in a fire truck. Then Mario asks where they got the truck...
  Meggy: Wah!? I...uh... Whaddaya mean? I've always been a fire-
  Saiko: We stole it.
  Meggy: Hey! (starts stamping foot) We didn't steal it, we borrowed it!
  • They fill the well with water (Turns out it's not water) so Boopkins will float up. It doesn't work, much to Meggy's surprise and frustration.
• SMG4 puts up a poster of Boopkins to attract others to rescue him, the reward being 2 coins.
  SMG4: Trust me...Anybody would do anything for a little bit of-
  (Cue the arrival of literally everyone)
  FM: The police is here! Go boys go! Lil boopkins is trapped down the well!
  Yoshi: The hell man? That's a so much money!
  Wario: Mooneeey... (makes slobbering noises)
  (They, the police, a crowd of Teletubbies chasing Mario and more rush towards the well)
  SMG4: Cash...
• FM sends people to retrieve Boopkins, but they drown since the well is still filled with water (Still not really water). DK gets kicked in the dong by Toadsworth, who gets a crowbar to the skull by Po, who gets pummeled by E.Gadd, who... Basically, everyone sabotages each other's rescue efforts for those 2 coins. It is glorious to watch.
  • Some of their methods for getting Boopkins out leave a lot to be desired. Donkey Kong throws in a chain of bananas, Yoshi brings a shovel with the likely intent of digging up, SMG3 brings a freaking cement mixer, which then gets tossed in the air by Wario and Waluigi's crane, which is then brought crumbling down by Steve, who has the brilliant solution of...drinking all the water (Again, not really water) out with a straw. It is at this point that X just gives up and leaves.
• Bob finally rescues Boopkins, and notes how nice it feels to be liked... before shamelessly plugging his crappy mixtape.
• And at the end of it all, Chris and Swagmaster show up and comment on their stolen firetruck (which they stole first). And then mention that the water in the firetruck had been replaced by vodka.

Mario and the Bob Mansion...

• The reason why the crew is at Bob's mansion: to celebrate "Bobsgiving"
  Bowser: You mean Thanksgiving...?
  Bob: No, I mean Bobsgiving.
• Bob's mansion is littered with paintings and sculptures of himself. Along the way, he seems to have lost inspiration and simply pasted his face over other famous paintings. [[
  Bob: May I interest you is a super-rare ultimate dlc Bob painting? Photoshopped by yours truly.
  Meggy has a grossed-out look on her face
• Saiko taking notes, hoping to follow in Bob's attention-grabbing footsteps.
• The fact that Bob became rich solely from his SoundCloud account. With barely over 700 followers.
• Bob lifts the dish to reveal the turkey... still alive and kicking.
  Bob: Mmm, delicious.
  Bowser: Bob, you're meant to cook it first...
  Bob: Huh? Oh yeah. Guess I forgot. *gets a shotgun* Just gimmie a sec while I take care of that.
  Bowser grabs the turkey
  Bowser: Uhh, you know what, Bob, how about I take care of this.
  Bob: Oh, uh, sure.
  (long Beat)
  Bob: Do you want the shotgu-
  Bowser: No, Bob, it's fine.
• The awkward silence that follows after everyone except SMG4 and Tari leave, only broken by Bob being, well, Bob.
  Bob: So... um... do you want to hear the story of Bobsgiving?
  Tari: Heheh, okay.
  SMG4: Ehh, not reall-
  Bob: A long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long time ago...
• The story itself is insane. Basically, pilgrims came to what would later be known as the Mushroom Kingdom, but they "sucked at being alive", to then be saved by the glorious Bob tribe, which then lead to the Mushroom Kingdom's people forever worshipping them. Even Tari, who wholeheartedly believes it, manages to point out an inconsistency, which Bob derails by telling them the story of "Bobmas".
  Tari: (in response to Bob asking her and SMG4 if they want to hear about "Bobmas") Woo-hoo! You know it!
  SMG4: NO GOD PLEASE NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOO...
• Bowser asks Meggy to paint the uncooked turkey in cooking oil. Meggy being, well, Meggy, she gets... very, very enthusiastic.
  • After getting to Bob's "special room" and Mario getting the item they need, Fishy out-and-out lampshades how most of their adventures go.
  Fishy: Well, that was easy! I was sure we were gonna come across an obstacle of some sort and consequently go on a crazy adventure.
• Meggy accidentally set the kitchen on fire, which she denies ("It wasn't me, I swear!"). Bowser tries to put out the fire with an extinguisher, but...
  SMG4: BOB! WHERE ARE YOUR FIRE EXTINGUISHERS!?
  Bob: LOL safety is for losers.
  (Bowser finds a fire extinguisher, turns it on, and gets a flamethrower to the face)
  Bob: Oh yeah! We have flamethrowers that look like fire extinguishers. Does that count?
• Despite Bowser setting everything on fire, the mansion burning down and everyone panicking, Bob is sitting there mindless to it all.
• What is Bob's "special juice" he sent Mario, Saiko and Boopkins to get? Gasoline.
• After the mansion burns down, Bob makes a heartwarming comment - then mentions that it'll make a great sob story on MTV. No one buys Bob's "Just Joking" Justification.
  • Followed by Bob plugging his limited edition shirt.

The Mario Concert

• Mario interrupting various parts of Bob's sob story.
• When Bob advertises his world tour, we see footage of Bob in a plane, going around the world from space, and is dropping flames below him ("spitting hot fire" in his words), and he clarifies that it's not an accurate representation of what the tour will be like.
• Bob tries to convince Mario and Luigi to help him by telling them about how sick and poor he is. Mario doesn't even care, and only agrees to go when Bob offers to pay him in pictures of spaghetti.
  • Then he tells them to get in his private jet. So much for being sick and poor.
  Luigi: Y...you have a private jet?...
  Bob: I have seven.
  Luigi: But... I thought you were poor... and that was the point of the whole tour?
  Bob: But I am poor. These are jets for poor people.
• Bob's excuses to not bring Fishy Boopkins along just get more and more outlandish.
  Bob: Um... *looks at his full-size passenger plane* The plane only fits one person.
• When Bob arrives at his destination, he is immediately swarmed by fans. He tells them to pay for the tickets through his managers. Mario and Luigi only get a second to react before they're gunned down by the people's money.
  • The taxi driver staring at Fishy Boopkins' dad in horror as Fishy tells him to take him to Bob's concert.
  • Then this happens:
  Fishy Boopkins: Oh boy! Bob's gonna be so happy! I bet he's just waiting for me to show up any moment, now!
  Gilligan Cut to Bob
  Bob: Hey, if anyone sees Boopkins, you have my permission to shoot him.
• Bob telling Mario to inflate his balloon and make it "EXTRA THICC". It gets so big it squashed Luigi against the stage wall.
  Bob: Come on... Bigger... I want it THICCCCCCCCCC with ten "c"s.
• Snoop Dogg and Reggie Fils-Aime's performances.
• Boopkins wants to help Bob perform. With his tambourine.
• Bob's opening words.
  Bob: I just want to take a moment to appreciate the best creation in the world... ass.
• Boopkins finally manages to get past Mario. Because he fell asleep.
• After the stage is wrecked, Mario gives Luigi the excuse that his legs are broken. After Luigi points out that his legs look fine, Mario breaks his own legs.
• After Bob gives his Motive Rant and removes any redeeming qualities he had, Mario, now standing by Luigi's side, gives his two cents.
  Mario: The saddest thing is... we never got paid!
  Luigi: Aren't your legs supposed to be broken?
  Mario looks down at his indeed broken legs and falls to the floor, screaming in pain.

War On Smash Bros Ultimate

• The episode starts with SMG4, Tari, and Mario making a plan to get the newly released "Super Smash Each Other in the Ass Ultimate". As SMG4 plots, Mario chokes on a grenade while a concerned Tari watches. Next time we see Mario, his head is gone and he's on fire.
• Mario thought the other shoppers, determined to get a copy just as much as they are, were just hobos.
• SMG4 makes a new plan: he and Tari sit in a shopping cart that Mario pushes, running over anyone in the way. Even if it's the princess.
  Mario: Bonus points! :D
• "Look! Dicks."
• The gang is too late. But Tari points out that there are other stores.
  SMG4: To the trolley mobile!
  Knuckles: Get f*cked, bitches! (rides off with the shopping cart)
• With no shopping cart, the gang resorts to using Shroomy as a skateboard. Not that he minds.
  • They eventually find a copy... because they wanted to look in a robot shop.
• Said copy costs 900 coins. But E. Gadd trades it to them in exchange for Shroomy.
• As the gang expresses their excitement over the game, a nearby Waluigi starts powering up... before Wario stops him.
  Wario: Not today, brother...
• Mario's laugh when the Koopalings corner them. And then he gets decked with a table.
• Tari's attempts to fight Roy. And when that doesn't work, she uses a powered up Shroomy robot.
  • Shroomy now considers E. Gadd his "creator."
  E. Gadd: Son!
  Shroomy: Papa!
  (Mario, SMG4, and Tari stare in confusion)

The Melancholy of Fishy Boopkins

• Mario's attempt to cheer Boopkins up involves taking him to Dr. Mario. Naturally, it doesn't end well. For Dr. Mario, that is.
  Dr. Mario: GIMMIE THAT BUTT!
  (Peach just stands there, looking pissed as all hell.)
  Dr. Mario: Uh, I can explain- (gets bitchslapped so hard he goes flying into the warp painting.)
• Luigi disguised Toad as Bob. Boopkins ends up hugging him so hard the fake head falls off while simultaneously choking Toad to death. Then Luigi tries to comfort him. Keyword: tries.
  Luigi: uh don't worry you didn't kill bob, you killed Toad! So it's all ok! :D and don't worry, I'll take Toad to the best doctor on the planet!
  Dr. Mario: That's me!
• SMG4's box of memes (touch and I cut you).
• Bowser walks in as SMG4 reveals his box of "cancerous memes", and gets sucked into the chest. Absolutely none of this is mentioned later.
• Shroomy, after taking an unwilling Boopkins on a trip around the world, decides to return home... at supersonic speeds. Cue "YEAH BOIIII" autotuned to Rainbow Road, as Boopkin's face slowly deforms.
  Shroominator: Hope that you had lots of fun!
  Boopkins: (face grotesquely deformed) No.
• After Bob's concert, he gives out merchandise. One Bob body pillow lands on Meggy, who gets set on fire from it. Next we see her, she's holding a Bible up to it, as if to ward off evil.
  Meggy: Outta this house! Outta this house!!!
• Saiko acting like a Loony Fan for Bob. It's just so Out of Character for her.
  Saiko: I have to go uh... umm... Yeah... (jumps off the stand while screaming "NOTICE ME SENPAI!")
• Meggy's last resort... taking Boopkins to a "sexy maid" cafe. Which is filled with actual maids and gonkish characters dressed up as maids.
  Meggy: I'm gonna need so much therapy after this...
• Then Heavy Weapons Guy comes along dressed as a maid. Meggy out-and-out faints from seeing it.

Mario and The Diss Track

• Mario playing with his food.
  Mario: Oh c'mon! As if you've never put spaghetti in your underwear before!
• While Luigi flips out about Bob's sudden fame, Mario grabs someone's Bob balloons and goes flying into a passing jet. Which explodes.
• Most of the conversation between Bob and Saiko on how to raise Bob's fan count.
  Saiko: We need everyone to notice us! Err... I mean you...
  (...)
  Bob: Time for my ultimate secret weapon.
  Saiko: ARE WE GONNA THREATEN PEOPLE!?
  Bob: Nooooo. But that's not a bad idea!
  • Everyone's reactions to the titular diss track, as follows (aside from Boopkins).
  Mario: Hey! Mario was on TV!
  Luigi: WHHHAAAATTTT?!?
  SMG4: The hell was that?
  (Toad cocks a shotgun)
  Bowser: I am lonely.
  (Fishy cries while gunshots are heard in the background)
  Meggy: (hands over mouth, voice muffled) Is my voice really that annoying?
  • Luigi getting a phone to the face.
  • Everyone thinks of an idea to get back at Bob. Mario proposes smacking him. Toad vouches for it, while Meggy looks unimpressed. Then Tari proposes a video game challenge... cut back to Mario and Toad laughing themselves sick and Meggy's even more unimpressed face.
• Saiko tries to say the word "friend", but Cannot Spit It Out.
  Mario: Is she having a stroke?
• Toad going completely nuts behind the soundboard during "Darkest Hour", also, Boopkins brought his tamborine to this concert too!
• The entirety of Bob's Humiliation Conga - special mention goes to the guy dropping Bob merch in the trash and Bob screaming Darth Vader's Big "NO!". Also, when Bob tries to keep his house, the Teletubby lifts it up and moves away, leaving a gaping hole in reality.

Christmas 2018: The Most Important Thing

• Bob's sleigh crushes Bowser. As he tries to get back into the gang's good graces, Bowser can be seen holding a sign saying " Call an ambulance".
• As Bob's attempts to make up with everyone fall flat, he starts getting annoying. Mario's response? Conducting the Nobody Cares Song.
• A moment of Mood Whiplash after Bob leaves dejectedly.

  Tari: Don't you think we were a bit too harsh with him?
  Toad: And nothing of value was lost!

• Some funny moments from the walking montage include Swagmaster6969696969 showing Chris his snowman and how they're "hugging", and Yoshi still on the run from the IRS.
• Bob's initial stubbornness when with Waluigi leads to a lot of great lines.
• Mall antics.
  • Mario attacking the mall Santa and Old Man Hobo cheering him on.
  • Shroomy accidentally uses his laser eyes to collapse a THEATER sign on Bowser, then shrugs and moves away.
  • The very next scene is Tari going apeshit (again) over a rubber ducky with a wizard hat. Meggy doesn't seem disturbed. Saiko is disturbed by it and raises a crucifix.
  Tari: YOU ARE ALREADY MINE... I will get you and I will squish you - SO KYUTE - I NEED IT - GIMME! My... precious!
  (Saiko raises a crucifix, with a creeped-out look on her face)
• The scene where everyone opens their gifts.
  • Bob receives a Christmas photo - with a paper Bob taped onto it.
  • Tari gets her new Companion Cube named Archibald (the duck from earlier), and loves it.
  • SMG4 gets a "Holy Meme Bible" - apparently, that's a thing.
  • Toad gets coal.
  • Mario goes crazy over a can of Sprite Cranberry.
  • Meggy and Saiko receive pillows - an anglerfish for Meggy and a body pillow of a body pillow for Saiko. Neither seem pleased.
  • Bowser opens his gift... the Super Crown.
• At the end, when Bob and the gang make up, Mario admits that he's still a complete asshole, but he's their complete asshole. Saiko, meanwhile, would rather call him more of an "acquaintance" than a "friend".
• Waluigi and Wario are revealed to have stolen Santa's sleigh, and are last seen escaping the cops with a pile of loot. How they did it is never explained.