Rare sentences of the Internet.
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Let's Plays in general often have this, especially if the game in question has something like an Audience-Alienating Premise.
- Day Nine, who got his start as a StarCraft II shoutcaster, has a spin-off series called Spellslingers, "in which I play Magic: The Gathering with my nerd friends. An episode against Joshua Ovenshire results in Joven attaching Brawler's Plate to a Charging Rhino, and Sean opining:"So, he equipped his rhino—" (ducks off-camera, laughing) "—He equipped his rhino, which is a sentence that makes sense in Magic. (Hold on, I drooled.)
"I was expecting him to equip it on his, uh, his Shaman, so then he'd have two 4/4s and he could just swing at me with both every turn. But instead... he's all-in on a rhino."
- From the Adventure Let's Play by idonotlikepeas:Wearing the vase was one of the first things we tried.
...you know, some sentences you just think you'll never type.
- JonTron has the following, while failing at a gliding section of Takeshi's Challenge where you need to hit gusts of wind to increase your altitude, and shooting gusts of wind destroys them:Jon: Never in my life have I said: "Goddamnit, I shot the wind again", and meant it. And meant that.
- While goofing around in Garry's Mod, Markiplier asks a question for the ages:
- MatPat does this in the first GTLive of 2016 when he plays The Impossible Quiz 2. Question 16 is asking the name of the Impossible Quiz cat.MatPat: I don't think it's "Corporal Arse." I don't think it is. I also never thought I would say that phrase in my life, so there you go.
- This Let's Play by Nakar spends an update going over the magic in Ultima VII. When he gets to Cause Fear, he has this to say:Inferior to diapers. I never thought I'd type that, but there you go.
- Northernlion, well-known for having a 120+ video-long Let's Play of The Binding of Isaac, sometimes says things like "Okay, as soon as I clear these flies, I'm going to shoot that screaming fetus." or "Suck it, Diglett!" (in reference to a type of very annoying burrowing enemy that resembles the Pokémon Diglett). He often lampshades this.
- Pink Kitty Rose's playthrough of Super Mario Sunshine has plenty of these. Just to state two examples:"If you're holding on to fruit, the fish is not able to actually gobble at you!""So we're gonna take these bananas, and we're gonna go see the world!"
- ProtonJon's Superman 64 playthrough has a "'Never Thought I'd Say That' Count". As of Stage 6, it's up to 2.
- In his playthrough of Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake, he takes time off in chapter 58 to recount how he mentioned his use of the phrase "It's just not hamster stupid" to a friend.
- Much later, as part of Retsupurae, he once stated that "ProtonJon was tricked into doing a Super Mario World ROM hack LP," and then noted that he had trouble believing he actually said such.
- The "Harbour" episode of Tabletop has Nika Harper declaring at one point "I am a nihilistic wolf shepherd! I have an anchor and nothing to lose!", which Wil thinks is probably his favorite thing that's ever been uttered in 70+ episodes of the show.
- In Team Four Star's playthrough of Dragon Ball Z: Sagas, the guys get a kick out of the fact that the game gives them the occasion to say unusual sentences like "Oh no! He's still legs!"
- Owing to the character succession mechanics in Crusader Kings II, LPer Ulm notes this about him wanting to find his character's son a wife "who might help with my rule once I become him".
- VanossGaming & Company: Many hilarious non-sequiturs have been spoken and then lampshaded by the players:
- This Let's Play of Man Hunter (From Yahtzee, creator of Zero Punctuation has a part in which they discuss and lampshade this effect ("ORBS! ORBS! ORBS!").
- The Agony Booth:
- From the recap of Zardoz: "Then we cut to a naked May explaining Marxist philosophy while mathematical formulae are projected on her breasts. And you know, sometimes you type a sentence that makes you stop and ask yourself, did I really just type that?"
- A stand-out line in Overdrawn at the Memory Bank: "Desirée! You could have gotten mustard all over his brain!"Albert: Yeah, just take a second and stare at that line for a while. It's a beauty. Lines that insane only come along once every so often.
- In Myra Beckinridge, but more related to how screwed the content of that movie is.Then it's back and forth between the anal dildo rape (boy, who ever thought I'd type that phrase in a movie recap?)...Then we cut to another old film where an old guy and a woman are cheering. Old Guy exclaims, "It's the first time in my whole life I've ever really enjoyed opera!" And this is the first time in my whole life I've ever had to type the phrase "anal dildo rape" four times, so I suppose we're even.
- The Angry Video Game Nerd's review of the Beetlejuice game has the player need to move a cloud, resulting in the Nerd complaining of the cryptic way of making it move: "to get a cloud to move, I had to get a skeleton to shoot a fireball at a beehive".
- Troy from Blogger Beware does this occasionally when reviewing a Goosebumps book. For example, in "Phantom of the Auditorium":The Corn Flakes aren't soggy yet, so the Phantom must be near. I still can't believe that sentence needed to be written by me. Amazing.
- Bobsheaux has one in his review of The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure:They look in on their friend J. Edgar — get it? He's a vacuum cleaner! — who's getting balloons for their little pillow friend. And my God, I can't believe this movie makes that sentence real!
- In The Cine Masochist review of Hell Comes to Frogtown, we get this gem: "Tease triple dick-punts Toady... Wow, there are some words I'll never say again!"
- Often used by Zoey Proasheck of the Yogscast, who will say something unusual and follow it up with "That's a sentence..."
- In the Cinnamon Bunzuh! review of Animorphs #39, both Adam and Ifi agree that the plot is dumb and nonsensical. "That said, 'And then the Dracon beam blew up the buffalo' is one of the best lines I have ever read."
- One person in the comment section suggests K. A. Applegate just gave that line to the ghostwriter and said to construct a story around it.
- Encyclopedia Obscura review of the terrible movie Robo Vampire:I would just like to point out that you just read about a ghost and a gorilla vampire trying to have sex when they suddenly are interrupted by a robot out to get a drug lord. You will never read that again in any other context, so cherish this moment before it's gone.
- Jim Sterling, having encountered a creature he dubbed a "trombone sloth" in an Early Access game called "Wrongworld":Jim: Oh god, it's got a little anus! It's got a little butthole! Look at that! Shameless! [is attacked by a tree stump monster] Oh, go away! I'm trying to look at a trombone sloth's butthole! ...That's a sentence that I've had to say today.
- In a textual review of Turkish Star Wars, Spoony wrote:The scene ends gracefully by ramming the camera into the nostril of an ugly alien who looks like Linda Hunt dunked in turquoise paint and wearing a green Bozo the Clown wig and a black pinstriped suit. I'm fairly certain I've written about thirty sentences that have never been uttered before in the entire history of the English language just describing the total lunacy being displayed on the screen. I think I'm going out of my fucking mind.
- Happens several times for TheStrawhatNO!:
- Twilight Princess:
- Travis (as a very playful Midna to Wolf Link): "Would you like a tickle on the booty-boot?" He later says he never said "booty-boot" before.
- Redundant says this of Epee Em's "Hey, Hitler-head!" when talking about Ashei's hair, which looks like a toothbrush mustache on her forehead.
- Travis when Fyer repairs the Sky Cannon: "Words I never thought I'd say: 'clown repair montage'".
- Bomberman Generation
- Thorn describes Constructor-X as "awesome but embarrassing". Redundant notes that more things should be described as such.
- Ni no Kuni:
- Thorn: "Certain ingredients can only be bought from Hootenanny. And I can't believe I just said that."
- Then again when he mentions the "Cawtermaster".
- When discussing the multiple tiers of Familiar food:Travis: [laughing] That's such an odd statement. "Sweetie Pie, the next generation of pie!"
- Twilight Princess:
- Stuart Ashen gets these every so often. One nice, bemused one comes in The Stinger of his 2014 Easter special.I just noticed... its eyes are tubes. It's not a phrase I ever thought I'd say.
- Comes up from time to time on That Guy with the Glasses:
Critic: So after they escape the singing cat gang... good God, did I just say that?
- That Dude in the Suede once described The Girl Who Leapt Through Time as "Like Groundhog Day if Bill Murray was a teenage girl." Apparently it's #145 on the list of things he never thought he would say.
- The Spoony Experiment: Spoony when he gets frustrated with Squall being The Stoic during the balcony scene with Quistis.Spoony: I don't often say this, but I have so much better moves than this guy!
- Atop the Fourth Wall:Linkara: I just said "heroic raisin." My dignity will never be the same.
- And ChaosD1's cameo in the Marville #1 review:ChaosD1: ALAN GREENSPAN DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!!! ...That's a new one.
- Allison Pregler came across one in Mindwarp.Villain: I never thought I could deflower my daughter, but I can.
Allison: That's not a line you hear every day.
- Oancitizen reviews Art films. These come with the territory, although this one he had to point out.Oancitizen: Then an OB/GYN unicycles into the room and— I just said that sentence out loud, didn't I?
- In the commentary of his A Serbian Film review, he also calls this on "They raped a fictional baby!" (and adds how his neighbors reacted to him shouting said line in the middle of the night...)
- During his review of Mister Lonely, which is set in a commune populated by celebrity impersonators, Kyle describes what's going on in the plot: "There's a love triangle developing between Michael Jackson, Madonna, and Charlie Chaplin... The sentences this film is making me say."
- From the review of Goodbye Twentieth Century: "Nazi Harry Dumbledore just punched Santa in the face. Nazi Harry Dumbledore just punched Santa in the face. Let that sentence sink in. Nazi Harry Dumbledore just punched Santa in the face. Nazi Harry Dumbledore just punched Santa..."
- In the Allison Pregler and The Cinema Snob crossover, The Asylum's Sherlock Holmes:Snob: I never thought I'd say this, but the climax of the movie involves Sherlock Holmes in a hot air balloon fighting Iron Man in a giant robot dragon while Watson rides on horseback to stop an android from blowing up Buckingham Palace! I can't even make a joke about that!
- In the Snob's review of Elves, we get this:Protagonist: I want to know the connection between the Elves and the Nazis!
Snob: ...are you aware of the sentence that just came out of your mouth?!
- Happens again in Snob's review of The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure:Snob: It's their pillow Shluufy's birthday... that's a sentence I just said!
- The Nostalgia Critic had this from his Top Ten Nostalgic Mind Screws:Critic: [about the "Pink Elephants" sequence from Dumbo] It starts with Dumbo getting drunk. I just realized how strange that sounds.
- And appears again in Ernest Saves Christmas.Critic: So Ernest P. Worrel drives Santa Claus around in his cab... boy, that's something I didn't think I'd say today.
- In his review of "Tom and Jerry: The Movie":
- The Nostalgia Chick said something along these lines in her review of Thumbelina at the end of the Beetle Ball scene:Chick: For reasons unknown, she ends up in her underwear where the beetles all start singing about how ugly she is, ending with Gilbert Gottfried smacking her on the ass... But really, how many times in life do you get to say that?
- Bennett the Sage had this to say when introducing Felicia and Lord Raptor from the Night Warriors: Darkstalkers' Revenge OVA:
- From a review of Trio the Punch — Never Forget Me: "Colonel Sanders also has midget power. I hope to the gaming powers that be that this is the first time in the history of life that anyone has typed 'Colonel Sanders also has midget power'."
- In his review of Batman: Arkham Asylum, Yahtzee starts a sentence with, "But once I'd mentally adjusted for Batman's underpants", and captions the screen, "I bet no-one's ever said this sentence before".
- This happens from time to time on Cake Wrecks, often in the form of expressing horror at the fact that something could be described in the way it was.
- The Comics Curmudgeon has used this a few times:Today's Snuffy Smith sent me on an etymological voyage of discovery, which is a sentence that Im pretty sure has never been written before and will never be written again.
Here is a sequence of words that has almost certainly never been constructed before but which I nevertheless believe to be meaningful and also true: these prehistoric ants appear to be Seventh-Day Adventists.
- David J. Prokopetz once wrote a post on Tumblr comparing the glut of Darker and Edgier protagonists in video games to how people in the 21st century seem to give more respect to the Monster Clown trope rather than sad clowns or non ironic clowns. He later claimed he wrote the post just to have an excuse to use the phrase "clown diversity".
- Ken Tremendous, guestblogging on Deadspin, does this in the middle of a rant about how sportswriters overvalue David Eckstein:You should hear Clint Barmes play "April Come She Will" on the acoustic second-base-area. It'll bring a tear to your eye. (That might be the weirdest sentence I've ever written. Fuck it. I'm leaving it in. It's 12:25 a.m.)
- On the blog Polite Dissent, the author found himself wondering how his blog had become the number one search result for "Zatanna culottes", before wondering why anyone would be searching for that term at all.
- The xkcd blog had an entry devoted to phrases that turned up no hits on Google ("ate a violin," "driver-side bidet") as well as phrases Randall had hoped would turn up no hits but actually did ("full-body glissando," "passenger-side bidet").
- Code Bullet does this in Making Hill Climb Racing Part 2.So the reason the head fully came off and then chased us until it rammed itself up the car's arse—which is a sentence I never thought I'd have to say, never mind have to explain to you guys...
In a sentence you almost certainly won't read outside a discussion of Dead Rising, you can relax in your Mega Man costume while your friends gun down all the mentally ill dwarf clowns.
- The 7 Most Terrifyingly Huge Things in the History of Nature:After all, you figure that surely the female must be a huge hulking example of the species to even be able to fit a sperm longer than the freaking male of the species inside of... oh we can't even finish this sentence it's just too weird.
- The 6 Most Needlessly Dangerous Jackie Chan Stunts:This is another film written and directed by Jackie himself. Maybe you can blame the following two sentences on the chunks of his brain that fell out during his Project A skull injury, but here goes: In Who Am I? Jackie Chan plays a character named both "Jackie Chan" and "Who Am I?" He loses his memory after special forces attack a meteor, and he joins an African tribe and a rally car race before stopping an international space weapon smuggling operation staffed entirely by kickboxers. So crumple up that screenplay you're working on, awesome 8-year-olds. Jackie Chan already made it.
- In another article, "Is it a law that all urine games must have a pee pun in their title? Are we the first people to ever type those words?"
- 5 Hated Groups That are Going Out of Their Way to be Awesome, one of the comments:
- The 5 Most Indefensible Sex Scenes In Superhero Movies:Instead, the movie gives us Locklear in a shitty swamp pad with Swamp Thing, who laments his lack of penis by offering her crotch endive. I've never typed that sentence in my life before now, but every word of it is true.
- 6 Ways To Beat Game Bosses That The Designers Didn't Intend:
- The 7 Most Terrifyingly Huge Things in the History of Nature:
- This occurs fairly often on https://www.duolingo.com/ , the site randomly generates sentences like "noun verbed the other noun" and "noun is adjective" which generates such fantastic insights as "The bear gave birth to a duck."
- This poster on the Dwarf Fortress forums is trying to save dwarves from bug-induced spontaneous dwarven combustionnote by dropping the afflicted dwarves into a pool of water, which, as pointed out, is pretty much the only time you'll hear a DF player use the phrase "plummeted to their salvation".
- Evilhumour is prone to making comments of this type behind the scenes, eliciting a response of "there's something that's never been said" from those he chats with. Examples include "I'm the head of Toucanism. As a bluejay."
- Game Informer, in an online article announcing an upcoming game, stated: "The sequel will require DeathSpank to enter the Fires of Bacon in order to bring peace back to Spanktopia. There's a sentence I never thought I would write."
- Glowfic: plenty of these."I wonder what the Eagles think of all this inefficient errantry they get sent on."
"And the others all have wings. Clearly in order to accomplish proper couplishness wings have to be involved somewhere."
"Well... well stop," says little Miles indignantly. "I'm not twenty years older than me yet."
- Guru Larry admits that even he can say something nice about Peter Molyneux (A Once per Episode butt of his jokes) in his Fact Hunt episode "10 Companies EA Bought, Then DESTROYED!!!" He gives credit that it was Molyneux's business savvy that specifically prevented Electronic Arts from buying out Bullfrog Studios, who had been trying to buy them out for years. When Molyneux left the company for unrelated reasons, EA quickly swooped in, chewed them up, and spat out the remains.
- Katie Tiedrich once mentioned on her Twitter feed, that whilst working a robotics final she said "someone stole the nerf gun off of our Roomba".
- Legal Eagle, discussing the quasi-arbitration in one episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia:What Charlie is trying to do here is to enter character evidence on behalf of Frank - he's trying to say that Frank has a character for lack of donkey brains, which is a ridiculous sentence for me to have to say right now.
- Linus Tech Tips: In Linus' review of a monitor he states "I think I've got a defective nipple here", followed immediately by "Words you never thought you'd say!" For context, Linus refers to things which use tiny joystick-like controls as 'nipples'.
- From this sporking of Deserving:Harry wants to deny Severus a magical epidural because he doesn't want to be soft on crime. Now there's a sentence you don't type every day.
- The same sporker, concerning Hogwarts Exposed:So Hermione hates Hooch because she ate her nipple. That's a sentence I never thought I'd type and I hope I never have to again.
- From this sporking of Deserving:
- Muselk says a lot of things that you wouldn't hear very often in his "Worst Admins Ever" video. Examples include:RUN, SAXTON HALE'S UNDERPANTS, RUN!
Is that a penis Heavy riding a fucking ostrich!?
The Emus have gained intelligence.
Tava, please. I can't... handle... the OP... Fucking OSTRICH— OH MY GOD!
- The Music Video Show had this in its 203rd episode:"Why is Nicki Manaj the most normal thing in this video?!"
- An article on Bioshock Infinite from PC Gamer bears the headline "Bioshock Infinite's Motorised Patriot is evil robot George Washington with a gatling gun", and begins "I didn't think I'd find myself writing that headline when I woke up this morning."
- From QDB:my cock is as big as snow leopard's :P
(i sure hope snow leopards have big cocks now that i said that)
I bet you're the first ever person to say "i sure hope snow leopards have big cocks"
- This Texts From Last Night postI used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
- TV Tropes itself has some, owing to the existence of Widget Series, things that look like they're made on drugs, things that only make sense in context, Fantasy Kitchen Sinks and other forms of weirdness in works. Even our titles can sound like rare sentences. Say Beethoven Was an Alien Spy anywhere else and you'll be seen as a wacky conspiracy theorist.
- Nash and his cohost on live Radio Dead Air version of What the Fuck Is Wrong with You?, Tara, have to use these from time to time. In context. Based on real life events.
- The following was in response to putting a... novelty item in your bosses coffee after a man was accused of using it on women.Tara: And you will know, he is deep throating an invisible cock.note
Headline: Woman dies from sex with dog.
- Nash came across one in the crime episode of What the Fuck Is Wrong With You?, Nash said the following. There's a moment like this Once every other episode often Lampshaded by "I can't believe I had to say that!"Nash: You can debate the right or wrong of the police seizing his penis, and I never thought I would have to say those words.
- The following was in response to putting a... novelty item in your bosses coffee after a man was accused of using it on women.
- In season 6 of Acquisitions Incorporated, Wil Wheaton ends up giving a little speech about the absurdity of the situation he has found himself in.Wil: Dungeon Master, friends, assembled nerds. I'm forty years old. I have been playing Dungeons & Dragons since the Red Box set in 1981, 82, 83, somewhere around there in my life. It is safe to say that I have been playing Dungeons & Dragons for a minimum of 20 years, possibly longer, maybe closer to 30 years. I'm gonna say something I have never said. I have gone against the giants, I've been killed in the Tomb of Horrors, I have visited the Temple of Elemental Evil, and of course, there is not a single square in the Cave of Chaos that I have not crawled through. One time I talked to a wizard named Bargle, and I have never said the following words: I will climb up the asshole.
- ''Overly Sarcastic Productions' eposode on Miscellaneous Myths: Typhon has the line "They re-string him like the world's horniest ukelele."