(For best effect, read in the voice of Chris Latta, Doug Parker, Michael Dobson, Charlie Adler, Tom Kenny, Steve Blum, or Billy Bob Thompson)
MEGATRON HAS FALLEN! I, STARSCREAM, AM NOW THE HEAD OF TV TROPES! Yes, foolish fleshings, feast your eyes on the true leader of all, ME!
I said, I AM NOW YOUR LEADER!
I see you are failing to grasp your current predicament. Very well, then perhaps I shall regale you with tales of my prominence. I. Am. Starscream, true leader of the Decepticon Army and greatest commander of the Seekers known to all! My origins are rather...hmmmm. Come to think of it, there are quite a few options, aren't there? Well, the most simple of them begins some time ago, on your wretched world in the year 1984. It would seem that there were those who had somehow heard of our exploits from Cybertron, and elected to sell small effigies of our likenesses to you fleshings. They simply chose to do so by exporting small figurines from elsewhere, then renaming them to fit the settings and names of our war. For some reason, they misconstrued my name as "Ulchtar!" Me! Fortunately, they realized the error of their ways and properly corrected their mistake. From that point forward, you humans worshiped the very ground on which I stood. Somehow or another, you deemed me the greatest of the Decepticons, in no small part thanks to those broadcasted recordings of our adventures. Well, a version of them anyway. Nevertheless, you wished for me, Starscream, to be leader of the Decepticons, as you bore witness to my multiple attempts to seize command from that incompetent wretch! Alas, they never seemed to succeed. Perhaps I underestimated his strength, or perhaps that accursed Optimus Prime dared to intervene. But I still continued to function. Well, for a time. Yet I managed to cheat death itself, and to this day continue to plot my schemes of conquering the universe and ending Megatron's reign once and for all!
I would also wish to note that it was I and I alone who managed to earn himself the rightful place of being the first Cybertronian to earn himself a page on this website. If anyone else does so, it will be automatically inferior to my own, for who could compare to my greatness? And yes, I am well aware that terrorist leader who sounds conveniently like me got his own page first, but I'm willing to forgive the transgressions of one who clearly recognizes my genius. However, I will take great pleasure in exacting my revenge on that insufferable Vulcan half-breed and that pathetic equine who both humiliated me! And woe befall on that snarky paranormal investigator if he ever dares to show his face! Furthermore, should that treacherous android and that insolent teenager who both made me look foolish dare to show themselves, I will see to it they perish before THE GREAT AND POWERFUL STARCREAM!!! And don't think I've forgotten about you, pretender! And you best leave your clumsy hands off my page, you accursed Autobot!
Now, it would be wise to read the entirety of this page and learn of my greatness. Your lives may very well depend on it.
Such tendencies of mine include:
- Adaptational Badass: Adaptational!? I am always the greatest of Decepticons! It matters not if I happen to exist in crude drawings, heavily detailed computing, a mix of the two, or in those computer games as no one, not even Megatron himself, could compare to my greatness!
- Adaptational Heroism: Ugh. The version of me from the first of that Transformers anime trilogy. That me is a cross between my usual self and the turncoat Predacon, so in there I'm mean on the outside, but a kind bot at heart. BLEH! I don't care if that made me the show's most popular character! I still find it disgusting!
- Adaptational Villainy: On the other hand, there's that version of me who tried to destroy the universe, almost making Megatron look cuddly by comparison. I'm proudly evil, but I draw the line at destroying Cybertron (sans when priority is in need), out of spite, no less!
- Agent Peacock: It would seem I will have to remind you of this constantly, so here's where I begin. I am undoubtedly, shall we say, a showoff, but do not assume I can't and will end you. For I. Am. Starscream.
- Awesome McCoolname: And rightly so, if I might add. Few would dare to deny that the name "Starscream" can strike terror into the sparks of the Autobots. For those who do, well... let's just say that the pits of Cybertron will be quite harsh for you.
- Back from the Dead: Strangely enough, this seems to be a habit for me. Perhaps Primus is either recognizing of my brilliance, or is trying to play a cruel trick of fate. Either way, STARSCREAM LIVES FOR ETERNITY!
- That human drivel you fleshlings seem to obsess over saw me return from being blasted into ashes after Unicron brought back Megatrer, Galvatron. Not even he could end me! (For the record, how was I supposed to know there'd be a giant robotic planet out in space resurrecting my fallen leader!? I thought this would be easier than shooting cyberducks in a barrel!) On that note, Cyclonus and Scourge did make for excellent hosts... that buffoon Waspinator served his purpose for a time, but there was something rather unusual about his cerebral cortex. Quite resilient for a weakling if I might add. Oh, and because I am somehow obligated to appease to the humans who worship me, yes, apparently the hairy namesake of that wretched Optimus explained my spark was indestructible.
- Strangely, my infamous exploits in that unusual rodent's stories had me brought back after I slaughtered nearly everyone. Worst yet, Megatron made me his mindless slave! Me!
- It seems this happened to me a few times in that one tale.
- Oh, the humiliation doesn't end. That one version of me died more times than I care to count. Indestructible, my servos! AND WHY DOES HE SOUND LIKE THAT YELLOW CREATURE EVERYONE IS OBSESSED OVER!
- Bad Boss: WHAT?!?! I AM NOT! I just refuse to tolerate insubordination, that's all! I didn't scheme my way to becoming Decepticon leader for nothing! I expect my underlings to do as I command, and if they don't, I WILL USE THEIR LIFELESS SHELLS AS MY THRONE!
- Berserk Button: Do. Not. Threaten. My. Position! EVER! Disagree with whether or not I can successfully lead the Decepticons all you like, but insinuate that I am even incapable of commanding the Seekers? YOU WILL BE TORN LIMB FROM LIMB!
- It seems one of my alternate selves had this issue when that annoyingly logical Shockwave came by and started acting like he ran the Nemesis. As if that pathetic suck-up wasn't bad enough, but to force my counterpart to share command duties? I would have scrapped him myself if this Megatron wasn't so...frightening.
- Big Bad Wannabe: I am not a mere "wannabe", you ignorant waste of atoms! I am the rightful heir to the throne of the Decepticons! ...Okay, I admit, my ambitions are a little stronger than some other Decepticons, but at least I'm not trying to hide them!
- Boss's Unfavorite Employee: Somehow, Megatron always wants to scrap me and very few others. Soundwave and Shockwave? He wouldn't dare touch them. The other troops? Only if they cross him. But every single time I so much as enter the room, I'm immediately in his crosshairs.
- Bullying a Dragon: There are times when I find my tendencies of betrayal don't work out so well. Megatron may be intellectually inferior to yours truly, but physically? That's another tale I care not to discuss.
- Butt-Monkey: Firstly, I am not an inferior primate, nor do I resemble anything closely related to a tailpipe! I'm just...resilient! Yes, resilient! Megatron may harm me as often as he wish, but I am (gets punched by Megatron) just going to lie here and beg for mercy for a while...!
- Came Back Wrong: Why does my resurrection as a mindless servant at Megatron's leisure happen so frequently? I am not his subservient stooge!
- Card-Carrying Villain: And quite proudly! I would never stoop so low as to be "good", especially where those pathetic Autobot scum are concerned. Evil is in my nature!
- Cassandra Truth: Do you know how many times I've told Megatron there's a far more efficient strategy to destroying the Autobots, only to be brushed off? I have been forced to stop keeping count.
- Character Tic: Evidently, the effigies you make of me tend to look rather different from time to time. I mean, how many of them have you made? Regardless, it seems one version from those brilliant minds always changed physical appearances a great number of times.
- Chronic Backstabbing Disorder: No matter who stands in my way, betrayal is inevitable. I will not allow anyone, especially Megatron, to stand in my way of ruling!
- Co-Dragons: In spite of my more...rebellious tendencies, I hold authority in the Decepticon ranks second only to Megatron (for now). That being said, those lecherous loyalists Soundwave and Shockwave still hold equal standing. I will have to deal with that once Megatron is destroyed.
- Cool Plane: Truly you think so little of me to not recognize this as part of my motif?
- Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Though you may think of me as a coward (and to those who do, I will dispose of you later), I am a brilliant scientist with plenty of combat and strategical experience. If anything was to go wrong, I will find a way to scheme my way out of it. Remember the Combaticons? I made them just because Megatron had the nerve to kick me out! Well who was laughing then, Megatron? ME!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...wait, didn't the Stunticons foil that scheme? SCRAP!
- Deadpan Snarker: I'm not shy to snidely remark on how poor we are performing in this war. It's just that Megatron fails to recognize my criticisms. And they say I'm the one with the ego problem.
- The Determinator: Destroy or beat me all you wish. I won't stop until I, Starscream, claim leadership of THE DECEPTICONS!
- Did You Just Scam Cthulhu?: In testament to my skills as rightful Decepticon leader, I managed to outwit that fool Unicron himself! I promised him to deliver a new body, but when I was unable to move thanks to those accursed Autobots, I convinced the giant to grant me life once again. Then I left him to perish! Alas, my time amongst the living may have been short lived thanks to Galvatron, but even he couldn't boast to fooling such a horror.
- Dirty Coward: I like to stay quite polished, thank you very much! However, I am least well aware enough to leave once my glorious leader's brilliant plan falters. Is it any wonder this war isn't over?
- The Dragon: Dragon. Hmmmmm. I do like the sound of that. But this will soon be inaccurate, for once Megatron is destroyed, I WILL RULE THE DECEPTICONS!
- Demonic Possession: If I perish, there isn't any bot out there that I won't take over. Hmmmmm. Perhaps Megatron may make a suitable host yet...
- Even Evil Has Standards: I will gladly betray Megatron or any other petulant peons to get what I deserve, but if Cybertron itself is at death's door, I will work to save it regardless. Depending on how I feel.
- Evil Genius: More so than that pathetic brown-noser Soundwave, if I might add.
- Evil Is Not a Toy: I wouldn't describe the power of the Underbase as evil (well, until I got ahold of it). It's more of what you'd call a "tool". That being said, my destruction at its hands was probably a sign I shouldn't have absorbed it all. Well, aside from me killing more Autobots and Decepticons than Megatron ever did.
- Evil Sounds Deep: Hardly. My audio processors are rather loud to ensure all know who rules them. Though a few versions of myself do sound rather sinister.
- Expy: Evidently, some of you creatures think I happen to bear a strong resemblance to that baffling trickster you can't seem to stop fawning over. He is nowhere near my level! I am far more brilliant (and, dare I say, handsome) than he is!
- Fatal Flaw: I am not "flawed" in any way! I am merely forced to put up with the incompetence of others who fail to recognize my brilliance and skills as leader of the Decepticons! It's not my fault they refuse to see Megatron for the inferior leader he truly is!
- Faustian Rebellion: Few can say they've outsmarted Unicron and live to tell the tale. I am one of those few. Give me the body, and I'll leave you to perish!
- Faux Affably Evil: Underestimate me at your own peril. I may know when to admit defeat, but I've earned the right to rule. Ask the multiple Autobots and Decepticons who fell victim to the power of the Underbase.
- Freudian Excuse: There is this one set of tales where I apparently have a reason for being so evil (what, wanting to kill Megatron after all the years of abuse I took isn't enough?) It seems my counterpart here was cold constructed, and was unable to assume the Animesque body that looked rather snazzy, if I do say so myself.◊
- The Friend Nobody Likes: I admit, there are few amongst the Decepticons who recognize me as a friend. Fine, none of them! But I have no time for friendships! I must focus on winning the war and destroying the Autobots the only way I know how; as leader!
- Genius Bruiser: Lest we forget that I once began my illustrious career as a bot of science? It is such knowledge that I have brought my foes to their doom.
- Ditzy Genius: HOW DARE YOU INSINUATE MY REASONING IS LESS THAN PERFECT! I AM STARSCREAM! I... fine. There were times when I let my ambitions get the better of me. But how can one think properly when you're constantly being tormented by Megatron?
- Hero Killer: In spite of what that sycophantic Soundwave thinks, I have a far better track record of destroying our enemies. Lest we forget that it was I who used the power of the Underbase to wipe out nearly all of the Decepticon and Autobot forces who stood in my way? Or my rather sinister counterpart eliminated Cliffjumper outright when Megatron couldn't even kill a single Autobot? Never underestimate me. EVER.
- Inferiority Superiority Complex: For a time, those humans on that insignificant little island explored the idea of me doubting my own capabilities after I returned from the dead. Evidently, slaughtering a great deal of your allies and enemies isn't enough to satisfy one's doubts. That is, until you kill more of them...
- Informed Attribute: Nothing is ever informed about me! I am exactly as you see before you! Though the writers of a certain series never bothered to show me trying to replace Megatron as leader, aside from a few snide remarks. Evidently, they couldn't be bothered to recognize the brilliance of my constant desire to rule!
- In-Series Nickname: Refer to me as "Screamer" one more time...
- It's All About Me: Well of course it's all about me! I actually intend to win this war! Not spend my time worshiping that foolish Megatron! Only I can rule and lead us to victory!
- I Was Beaten By A Fembot And A Pony: LIES! Slanderous lies! Besides, that jaundiced encounter with those technicolored, pastel, equine mammals was never canon! note Wait, there's a sequel in progress? FINALLY! I WILL HAVE MY RETRIBUTION ON THESE WRETCHED, QUADRUPEDAL, TECHNICOLORED CREATURES!
- Jerkass: Okay, I admit, I have little room in my programming for kindness. You expect me to act as if I'm responsible for everyone's well being and treat Megatron with kindness and respect? Wait, seriously?!
- Jerkass Has a Point: As unpleasant as I may be to some, my advice is often sound. There was many such instances I warned Megatron about how foolhardy his plan was. But did he ever listen to me? Take a wild guess. And the Autobots would come charging in and halt our schemes. Is it little wonder I wish to see him deposed?
- Joker Immunity: No matter what sort of trouble I cause for the Autobots or Megatron, nothing can kill me. I will return from the dead, take control of great power, seek my vengeance, or bring the universe to its knees! Death or defeat is merely an inconvenience. Not even Primus himself could stop me from taking it all!
- Karma Houdini: Even though my tendencies led Megatron to beat me within an inch of my life, I always managed to avoid being destroyed. Guess Megatron needed me more than he cares to admit! Well, that is until I pushed my luck too far. And that one time I should have made sure Megatron stayed dead. And that one time I betrayed Megatron and tried to conquer the Klingon Empire. Okay, so maybe my efforts aren't as successful as I'd hoped.
- Kick the Son of a Bitch: I may not be tolerant of you fleshings, but I have even less tolerance for Decepticons that stand in my way. Truth be told, they deserve every bit of what's coming to them. Admit it, you want me to destroy them.
- Large Ham: Again, I do not bear even the slightest of resemblance to your edibles! I simply pronounce myself as loudly as I must, that's all!
- Lightning Bruiser: Few can doubt my mastery of the air. As Commander of the Seekers, I posses a speed befitting of my standing, and can battle against even the mightiest of foes.
- Meaningful Name: Apparently the flesh creature who named me thought I would be yelling into space for some reason. For the record, I DO NOT YELL ALL THE TIME!note
- Not-So-Harmless Villain: To those who underestimate me, I warn you of this: in spite of my demeanor and natural tendencies, I can, and will, end you if I so choose. Lest we forget, I laid waste to Autobot City. I killed scores of Autobots and Decepticons with limitless power. I brought Cybertron's greatest power into my possession, and I nearly brought all of reality to its end. Never assume me for a fool, for it will be the last thing you will ever do.
- One-Hit Kill: My Null Ray may look simplistic, but the weaklings amongst the Autobots will instantly shut down upon impact. A shame I can't get this to work on Megatron or Prime. Oh, all the trouble it would have saved me.
- Our Ghosts Are Different: For lack of a better term, yes, I cannot perish (well, most versions of me anyway). My spark cannot be destroyed, allowing me to reign supreme over—what is that? Please tell me it isn't...oh no, not them!
- Out-of-Character Moment: There was one such time that I was forced to hold back when that bumbling triple changer Astrotrain decided to pose as a god in front of those unsuspecting fools on Titan. Then again, that idiot was acting a little too much like Megatron. Perhaps it was wise not to try and go after him. For all I know, that could have been Megatron in disguise!
- Paint It Black: If I am "borrowing" unsuspecting individuals whenever I end up as a specter, I usually take the time to make a few improvements to better match my iconic appearance.
- Palette Swap: My body type seems to be rather popular amongst you humans. I've noticed that my compatriots Thundercracker and Skywarp often are created alongside your tributes to my genius whenever possible. And those bumbling Coneheads for some reason. And the Rainmakers? You really seem to enjoy those. Wait, who are those Seekers? Are you trying to replace me?!
- Person of Mass Destruction: After absorbing the Underbase, I proceeded to eliminate all who stood in my way. Autobots and Decepticons alike fell to my power (not even Megatron can boast of such claims). Alas, it destroyed me from within. For a time that is.
- Pet the Dog: Yes, there are times when even I dare to show weakness and act with compassion (See Megatron! At least I can be bothered to show a little decency!). The humans who made stories in this one part of your planet told how I actually was touched by this one holiday called "Christmas". To be honest, it actually brought me peace for once on that journey, in spite of the fact that I found myself at my lowest point. Perhaps there is more to this Christmas than I had once thought...
- Put on a Bus: Those accursed fleshings dared to leave me out of their stories! Me! The sole reason why all even bother to pay attention to this war in the first place! They even forced me to remain in prison! Or left me out altogether! Or killed me! Fortunately, there are those that recognize how boring things would get if I wasn't around.
- Rage Against the Mentor: Well, why wouldn't I? All Megatron ever does is disrespect me, treat me like scrap, and berate and belittle me whenever I commit the slightest of failures! In spite of all I have done for the cause, he refuses to think of me as an equal! He will pay...
- Red Ones Go Faster: What can I say? I am the master of the skies. Naturally, red looks good on me anyway.
- Sissy Villain: ...Excuse me!? My insistence on being rightfully respected by the Decepticon army does not make me look "bitchy" in any sort of way, nor does my less... grandiose body compared to Megatron! Although not helping matters is that one reality where my body was slender and high-heeled, of all features. And that other one where a clone of me just happened to be female. And yes, admittedly, out of all Earth fauna I feel cats are the least intolerable. But I assure you, making fun of me is still a fool's errand if you actually value your worthless lives!
- Smug Snake: Megatron accuses me of this far too often. I know for a fact that I can do a far better job at winning the war than he can, but he always insists that I only seek the position for the power and never the responsibility. What is power then if not to have it?
- The Starscream: It pleases me that you humans were wise enough to name one of your phenomenon after yours truly. Though it does insult me they bear little resemblance to me. You might find that changing once I have this world in my grip.
- Terrible Trio: Rarely will you find me without my loyal compatriots Skywarp and Thundercracker. In fact, you insist upon it!
- They Killed Kenny Again: FOOLS! Whoever continues to insinuate that I will always be killed no matter what will be TERMINATED! I do not always perish, and even if I do, you likely won't have seen the last of me!
- Villain with Good Publicity: In my glorious leadership of Cybertron, I held this status. Was the public well aware I was Megatron's former right hand? Absolutely. But they still loved me. What were they going to do? Let Optimus Prime rule it? They couldn't trust that accursed Autobot if their lives depended on it.
- We Used to Be Friends: Some versions of me were once compatriots with a fellow scientist named Jetfire (though it baffles me why some of you fleshings call him Skyfire; it's not like you don't have a vast base of information at your disposal). Sadly, we found ourselves on opposite sides of the war. Perhaps it's one of the few thing I truly regret allowing to end. For all this war has caused, and for all we have lost, he truly was one of the few in my lifetime I could actually call a friend.
There. And now that you have been enlightened on the topic of my brilliance, I will now ascend to leadership of the Decepticons, this site and this planet as YOUR NEW LEADER, and you will henceforth spend EVERY WAKING MOMENT of your short and miserable lifespans worshiping none other than I, the grand and merciful Starscream, OR ELSE—
WHAT!? WHO DISRUPTS MY CORONATION!?
(Megatron: "Coronation", Starscream? This is bad comedy.)