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Funny / Doom Patrol (2019)

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  • A lot of people seem to agree that the previews for the next episodes are usually so out of context that it's funny to watch them.
  • Larry having a running gag of desperately trying not to vomit in his bandages.

Season One

  • Alan Tudyk as Mr. Nobody narrates the show. He introduces Cliff by saying that, somewhere within an opulent mansion, there's a "pale white ass, pumping up and down". First we zoom in on the maid...
    Mr. Nobody: Not that ass.
  • As Mr. Nobody gets ready to gain his powers after paying his king's ransom, he narrates how he realized what was actually going on.
    Mr. Nobody: If I had known what he was actually going to do to me... I would have paid double.
  • The song playing when Cliff is on the race track? Fox on the Run.
  • This gem:
    Niles, holding up a sign that says "Flew": Fla- .Fla-. Flew
    Cliff, sees the calendar date: Fuck
    Niles, irrirated: Flew
    Cliff: Fuck!
  • Jane returns back to the Doom Manor and Chief looks like he's trying to make a quick getaway but he gets stuck. Jane then laughs and points this out.
  • When introducing Crazy Jane, Mr. Nobody narrates that her current persona Hammerhead was an asshole.
    Rita: Hello there, Hammerhead, it's good to see you.
    Hammerhead: Fuck off and die, Rita.
  • As Chief tells them off for causing chaos in town, Jane argues that what happened wasn't even that bad.
    News Reporter: Bad doesn't even begin to describe what befell Cloverton today, Bill.
  • A donkey farts and opens up a black hole-esque portal to another dimension.
     Donkey Patrol 
  • Mr. Nobody narrates the first episode in prime First-Person Smartass mode... then it's revealed at the start of the next episode that he's been talking aloud to himself the whole time. And the other characters can hear him. Caulder demands to know whom Mr. Nobody is talking to. Nobody's response:
  • There's a talking cockroach that waxes on about the end before he's unceremoniously cut off and sucked into the portal.
  • A robber is trying to get a woman to withdraw money, but it shows him this message instead after asking if he was robbing for money.
    C'mon, think bigger. Do you want to be:
    1) Rich.
    2) Super-Rich.
    3) Bruce Wayne rich.
  • The entire Failure Montage of Larry trying to leave, only for the spirit inside of him to zoom out and then shortly return long enough that he misses his bus. The counter lady even starts to give up and asks, "Does it really matter?"
  • The population sign for Clovertown reads "0", and later when the whole town is brought back, the population number increases again.
  • Cliff chasing the donkey and calling it a mixture of the different names for "ass".
    Cliff: C'mere! Get! Get over here, jackass! Brain the size of a walnut! Fucking ass! Hey! I'm talking to you!
  • Cliff and Cyborg's back and forth.
    Cyborg: Did you see anything useful!?
    Cliff: Yes, dammit, the donkey!
    Cyborg: What's the donkey got to do with any of this?!
    Cliff: That's what I'm trying to figure out, asshole!
  • Larry knocks on Rita's door and asks if she would like to go outside with him.
    Rita: Why?
    [Cue Cliff getting his ass tossed around in the back by Hammerhead]
    Rita: (after a beat and a "see what I mean" look from Larry) I could use some air.
  • Silver Tongue going after Cliff and he's just baffled by her ability.
    Silver Tongue: You're, so, fucked! (words turn into metal)
    Cliff: Whaat?! (Silver Tongue stabs the words near him) Shit!
  • Cyborg realizes the donkey is a doorway but they need to get inside it somehow. He then points out how he can't fit inside the donkey and Larry slowly turns his head towards Rita. Let's just say she's not remotely happy about the idea.
    Rita: Do you know what's stressing me out right now? The idea of shoving my face down the slimy throat of a diseased animal. Is this funny to you? Does my humiliation get your blood pumping? I'd like to know what you're picturing right now. Are you going to shove me in a sack, hmm? A trash bag? Cut a little hole, so you can squeeze me into that syphilitic beast like a tube of toothpaste? Push my eye into a funnel and force me into the bowels of a braying shit factory without my consent?!
    Vic: (beat) Would that work?
  • As they help Rita go inside the donkey, Larry makes this remark.
    Larry: Just FYI, if I vomit, I have no choice but to choke on it.
  • Mr. Nobody narrates Cyborg, Larry and Rita's journey.
  • The three walkmans that Mr. Nobody laid out for the group, with "Bandage Guy", "Mrs. Goopy" and "Cyborg" written in metal.
    Mr. Nobody: Rita opens her mouth, even though she had nothing to contribute.
    Rita: (immediately closes her mouth)
     Puppet Patrol 
  • The Negative Spirit's response to Larry's insistence on ground rules in their "relationship"? Stick an unconcious Larry on a ceiling rafter in the Chief's lab and leave him to figure out his own way down. Needless to say, Larry is less than amused.
  • Victor's brutal honesty to the team about them being the best he’s got in a bad situation.
    Victor: Chief saved all your lives, you owe it to him. Now are you the best people for the job? Hell no!
  • During the briefing Cliff and Jane are more curious about how Vic’s biology works with him being half robot:
    Cliff: Do you have a photo printer in there somewhere?
    Vic: No.
    Cliff: Then where do the photos come out from?
    Vic: I said no!
    Cliff: Is it your butt? I bet it’s his butt.
    Jane: (later in the discussion) What kind of toner does your butt-printer need?
  • The entire bus ride to Paraguay with the team arguing with each other, complaining about directions, and their driving skills.
    • Beforehand, Larry tells Cyborg that it takes a week to get to Paraguay by bus.
    Vic: No, it does not take a week. (Beat) It takes two.
    Rita: (Shrieking) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! (Everyone starts to panic.)
    • Jane gets so fed up with Rita's incredibly slow driving that she yells that she’s going to kill herself. Cliff just laughs, and then she actually attempts to do it by trying to jump out the window with Larry and Vic having to pull her back in. Rita merely sighs in annoyance.
    • Then text appears on the screen that reads, "Somewhere, not even close to Paraguay".
  • Out of sheer frustration, Flit takes over Jane's body, grabbing Cliff and Larry and teleporting them all the way to Paraguay.
    Larry: You could have teleported us? All along?
    Jane: It was Flit. And Flit does what she wants, when she wants.
  • As their guide introduces them to "Fuchtopia", named after Von Fuchs, Jane is clearly enjoying hearing the woman say the name.
    Jane: Fucktopia?
    Guide: Fuchtopia.
    Jane: (beat) Spell it.
    Larry: (interjecting) We're fine.
  • The start of the orientation when it shows the professor puppet, with corny music to follow. Cliff lets out a confused "The fuck?" before Jane shushes him.
  • Three hours later, and jump cut to Cliff sagging in his chair out of boredom, Larry's asleep, and Jane seems to have wrapped her scarf around her neck in an attempt to choke herself. The volunteer who came with them apparently got up to get some food and is raptly focusing on the story, nodding enthusiastically as if it were the greatest puppet show of all time.
  • As the von Fuchs puppet wraps up his pitch, he closes with this:
    Von Fuchs: Unfortunately, we no longer accept Groupons.
    • Just the fact that a top secret superpower factory run by an evil ex-Nazi mad scientist actually used to offer Groupon discounts is hilarious in itself.
  • Cliff easily taking out the mooks; after the first one, he holds up his hands and double flips everyone.
  • Silver Tongue fighting and using the words "Nazi fucks!"
  • Jane deadpan telling Rita they found the Chief, and she gives Rita the Chief puppet which she holds with some confusion.

     Cult Patrol 
  • When a talking blue horse head is summoned to tell them what to do, Cliff and Jane let out a confused, "The fuck?"
  • Baphomet delivering her instructions in song, to the tune of America's "A Horse With No Name".
  • Larry stating that while he might not trust the magic-using Kipling, he does believe in the talking blue horse head.
  • Cliff, Jane and Vic go through the portal to grab Elliot, about to start what seems like an adventure to rescue him....and within seconds they run back in with him, screaming to close the portal and shoving his crazed knife-wielding mother back through.
    Hammerhead: FUCK OFF, SHITBIRD!
  • As Cliff comes too, he realizes Hammerhead has been switched out with another personality called Penny Farthing. He's not happy about this.
    Cliff: I'm stuck in Nurnheim and I don't even get to yell at Hammerhead?!?
    Penny: Hammerhead has be relieved. The church was too....p-p-p-provocative.
    Cliff: (beat) GODDAMMIT!
  • Cliff takes one look at the Archivals and immediately wants nothing to do with this entire situation.
    Cliff: Giant clowns? (Beat) Nope.

     Paw Patrol 
  • The cockroach is back again, this time arguing with a rat who asks whether or not there will be cheese in the Promised Land.
  • As Kipling is ranting about the Decreator ending existence, his flask gets erased as he tries to take a drink.
  • Mr. Nobody is peeved that the others managed to start the end of the world.
    Mr. Nobody: I haven't even been in the last two episodes.
  • Every time someone mentions Mr. Nobody around Chief, he starts to vomit. Rita notes that she knows because her favorite shoes were ruined.
  • Dr. Harrison using her Compelling Voice to start the cult of the Recreator.
  • The Book of Recreation is in a pug, not the owner.
  • Mr. Nobody giving Doctor Harrison one final objective, and as Jane is painting, she suddenly hears this request.
    Jane: (Beat) What the fuck is the Doom Patrol?

     Doom Patrol Patrol 
  • Jane going up to Vic and pressing the large red button in his chest asking, "Hey Siri, what's the Doom Patrol?" Based off of Vic's reaction, she's done this before.
  • Earlier that day, Cliff tries to bring Baby Doll's favorite sandwiches to Jane. She shuts the door on him, knocking the food to the ground, prompting Cliff to yell at her to pick it up. Only to immediately relent and pick up the mess himself.
  • Cliff's watching the news and we get to find out what happened to that man back in Puppet Patrol. He apparently tried robbing a store, but his dinosaur head started biting his head and the cashier ended up knocking the two of them out anyway. The man and his dinosaur were both charged, him with robbery and the dinosaur for aiding and a-bite-ing.
    Cliff: What a tit.
    • Even more hilarious? The footage of the robbery shows that not only did he put stockings over his head as a mask, he put them over the dinosaur head as well, resulting in quite possibly the most ridiculous-looking robber you've ever seen.
  • This universe's version of Facebook is called Facehole. Yeah, you read that right.
    Cliff: How do I see my kid's Facehole?
  • As Vic's dad comes over to fix up his son, they find out that one of his parts has dug its way onto Cliff.
    Cliff: (looking at his arm) Is your fucking finger inside me?!
    Vic: Really had to word it like that.
    Cliff: Get it the fuck out!!
  • Mento recounting the Doom Patrol's fight to Rita, claiming that as the leader, he lead them to victory and was able to take Mr. Nobody down in one fell swoop whereas his other teammates ran into a spot of trouble. Arani, however, says that Mento nearly shit his pants and wouldn't have lasted had Niles not been there to help them.
  • Larry walking around the dreary and real halls of the "academy" trying to keep himself cool.
    Larry: This is okay... we just happen to be in The Shining. Which is fine, Shelly Duval and the kid got out, and so will we.

     Therapy Patrol 
  • Vic seeing Jane spinning around outside while wearing a smile and repeating, "Everything is fine."
    Jane: Everything, is fine. Everything, is fine. Everything, is fine.
    Hammerhead: (Gilligan Cut to Nile's video room smashing all the video tapes) Fuck you''!
  • Vic, on the dating app, gets inundated with messages from Cyborg fangirls, including one who asks him to say "Booya!", leading to this exchange:
    Vic: Grid, have I ever said "Booya"?
    Grid: You have said "Booya" thirty-one times since the accident, well above the threshold for a catch-phrase.
    • What makes this funnier is that, up until this point, we haven't heard Vic say it once.
  • Cliff chanting for a therapy session.
    Cliff: Therapy~, therapy~, therapy~!
  • During their therapy session, Cliff starts yelling that he wants to hear how everyone's parents screwed them up.
  • When Vic reveals that he killed his mom, Cliff's reaction is a quiet, "Winner, winner, chicken dinner."
  • Also the way Cliff thinks Larry is trying to come out to the group. The icing is Cliff awkwardly trying to give an annoyed Larry a hug after Larry talks about how lonely he gets, and how he pushed away John.
  • When Rita talks, she says that she was stuck in a furnace where no one could hear her. Cliff thinks she means metaphorically, but then she angrily points out she was literally stuck in a furnace.
  • Mr. Nobody convincing Admiral Whiskers to take his revenge out on Cliff.
    • Just the fact that, instead of a random mechanical malfunction, Cliff was freaking out all episode because he had a rat in his brain.

     Danny Patrol 
  • Cliff annoying Vic with jokes about rats, smells and Vic possibly killing them in the future.
    Cliff (pretend stabbing, making squeaky robot sounds) I WILL COME FOR YOU!
  • Just hearing Karen for the first time talking to Cliff with her dropping phrases like "cool beans" and "heart you".
    Rita: Is she okay?
    Cliff: I think. She said everything was... "cool beans".
    Rita: "Cool beans"? Oh, God.
  • Maura Lee calling Vic and Larry Terminator and King Tut respectively.
  • Vic not entirely understanding what non-binary was, so Maura Lee throws out the non-binary code.
    Vic: I'm trying to think, but... I can't seem to find my middle finger emoji.
    Maura Lee Corrupt: Ooh, this sweet one here is a little saucy. I like it.
    • She adds that if Vic ever wants to leave Westworld and come live among the Dannyzens, all he had to do was give them a call.
  • As Karen is hugging Rita, Hammerhead momentarily takes over and orders Rita to help get them the fuck out of their situation. Rita then asks why Hammerhead herself, or Jane, can't do it.
    Hammerhead: Jane's not around, how do you think we got stuck with basic-bitch-Barbie?
    • Hammerhead also does not want to consummate the marriage with Doug.
    Hammerhead: I swear to god, Rita. If that dick gets anywhere near fucking my bush, I'm gonna fucking kill you. Okay? If I get fucked, you get fucked.
  • Larry does the karaoke, but he unfortunately doesn't sound as good as his imagination.
    Larry: (stops singing) ...Was I that bad?? Aw. (trudges off)
  • A little kid in a cardboard robot costume challenges Cliff to a dance-off.
  • Karen tries to convince Cliff to walk her down the aisle and activates her powers. Hilariously, it doesn't work on Cliff.
    Karen: What do you say?
    Cliff: ...You have incredibly psychotic eyes.
    Karen: URGH! Just forget it.
    • Doug is excited because he thinks Karen brought a robot to their wedding, but then Cliff insults him.
    Cliff: Back off, Dermot Mulroney.
    Doug: Wow, chillax, asshole. (tries shoving Cliff, who fails to budge) (Beat) Oh.
    Cliff: I think you mean- (pushes Doug to the floor through a chair)
     Jane Patrol 
  • The other personalities realize that Jane was in the Underground and she tries to make a subtle getaway.
  • Hammerhead releases Karen.
    Cliff: Hey, where are you taking her?
    Hammerhead: Up your ass, maybe?
    Cliff: (mockingly mimics Hammerhead)
  • In one of the other jail cells is a persona called Jack Straw who Karen writes off as harmless. When Cliff tries to break down the wall with just his bare hands, Jack Straw slides him a shank. Cliff looks curiously between the tool and Jack Straw, who hasn't moved an inch, and gives them a slight nod of acknowledgment and thanks as he continues with his work.
  • As Cliff's human skin falls off revealing his robot form, Black Annis runs her nail across his face and down towards his crotch. Where she then grabs it like Hammerhead did in the pilot.
  • The illusion of Jane's father roars over Cliff who's in the middle of trying to snap Jane out of her funk.
    Jane's father: (roars)
    Cliff: (Flipping the Bird) Fuck you!
    • What really makes it funny is how casually Cliff throws that as an aside to him, like they were having a conversation out on a street and it was just some drunk guy making noise.

     Hair Patrol 
  • The Beard Hunter's suiting up scene. It's as ridiculous as you think it would be.
    • Also the way the Beard Hunter thinks he's being stealthy as he rolls around Doom Manor.
  • Vic's disgust when he realizes that the Beard Hunter is salivating over his scruff and takes a step back.
    Vic: You better back your ass up.
  • After consuming a piece of Vic's beard hair, the Beard Hunter literally dodges all of Vic's moves with a look of pure joy on his face. Rita is in the back yelling and not helping.
    Rita: Just hit him already!!
  • Mr. Nobody describing Niles' relationship to the sapien woman.
    Mr. Nobody: You've always been a man comfortable with compromise, Niles. After all, you fell in love with a Canadian.

     Frances Patrol 
  • Cliff asking for Flit to take them to Florida, which Jane refuses to do before Flit cheerfully takes over. She teleports Cliff and Rita, and then leaves them behind.
  • Rita trying to teach Cliff some calming techniques for his anxiety, promptly forgetting that Cliff doesn't have lips and can't really breathe like she does.
    • However, he later does end up doing the breathing exercise.
  • Larry talking to John in real life for the first time. Even though John is an elderly, infirm man being taken care of at home, he clearly is a ball of levity contrasted to Larry's downer attitude.
    John: (remembering their hotel dream) Those roast beef sandwiches were fucking awesome.
    • He's also shocked to find out that Larry hasn't fucked since JFK, which does get a chuckle out of Larry.
  • Cliff losing it in the swamp and demanding that Frances come out while Rita can only prop her chin up with her hand and watch solemnly.

     Cyborg Patrol 
  • The opening scene of a woman carrying a tray towards the conference room for the commander, and when she takes off the cover, underneath is a McDonald's burger that the commander happily chows down on.
  • Cliff points out what a lot of fans have probably been saying for a while.
    "Send a text to Batman."
  • As the group is riding the elevator with Cliff in handcuffs, he lets out a roar and then looks around when no one responds.
    Cliff: (beat) Seriously? No one saw Star Wars?
  • The ride in the elevator. It is probably the least pleasant experience the Doom Patrol has had, with Larry sounding like he's going to throw up while Jane screams it aloud.
    Jane: WHAT THE FUCKKK?! (after elevator stops) What is this fuckery?
    Silas: We're almost there.
  • Cliff trying to argue that he's special to the person who is watching over him. When he argues that he's fought Nazis, a crocodile and much more while bragging that he's an unstoppable force, the woman snarks this.
    Observer: Dude, we stopped you with a magnet.
    • She ends up slapping a "Scrap" sticker on his forehead that he wears for the rest of the episode.
  • In Jane's cell, the man whose arm she broke prepares to torture her, but she only acts unamused, bored and tired throughout it all, even yawning at one point as he threatens her life.
  • The man torturing Jane dancing around and playing "I Saw the Sign", whilst licking his tools and Jane asks if he could just cut her ears off so she wouldn't have to listen to this anymore.
    Jane: (bored) We get it, doucheflap, you saw Reservoir Dogs.
    • He then switches to a different song accidentally, which causes Jane's eyes to widen in fear.
    Jane: No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no-!!
    Karen: (takes over) Oh, my God! That's my song!
    • She then uses her power to charm the man and during their conversation, they speak in harmony saying their favorite book was Fault in Our Stars.
    Karen: I love you, Doug.
    Dirk: I'm Dirk.
    Karen: (cheerfully) That's what I said.
  • Four words: The butts are loose.
    • Then, with utter seriousness:
      Guard: General, sir? The butts are loose.
      General: I understand. God be with you.
    • Said General then promptly SHOOTS HIMSELF rather than deal with the impending fallout.

     Flex Patrol 
  • Flex flexing his butt and a flower appears for his wife.
  • Flit teleporting everyone in the room everywhere.
    Cliff: Great! Now it's Flit-A-Palooza!
  • Cliff asks Jane to take off the scrap sticker on his forehead. She complies, but only takes the 's' out leaving the word "crap" behind, causing Flex to chuckle.
    Cliff: (beat) You just ripped the 's' off, didn't you?
    Jane: Uh huh.
  • When Cliff mentions they are looking for the Chief, Flex says he does know him. Then he proceeds to tell a convoluted tale of how the Chief died years ago and was replaced by his Separated at Birth identical twin. Jane quickly realizes Flex is talking about a character from his favorite soap opera who also happens to be called "Chief".
  • Trying to activate Flex's powers, Cliff breaks the TV he was watching. There's a slow build up before... Flex starts to bawl his eyes out.
  • Cliff Steele made a guest appearance on a soap opera. Watching Brendan Fraser trying to be as stilted as possible while his eyes dart in different directions is hilarious. Bonus points for Cliff giving a sick child a blanket to help him get better, only for the kid to immediately flat-line.
    • While Cliff is obviously doing some Bad "Bad Acting", Larry tells him that he was great and Cliff says that was considered for an Emmy.
    • When Jane sees the episode, she laughs at Cliff's bad acting and when he claims he was considered to be nominated, Jane says this:
    Jane: What? Best supporting ass clown?
  • Since they were running out of options to jog Flex's memories, Jane ends up bringing a blow torch in and Cliff has to ask her to back it up before they pretend to threaten to burn Flex.
  • After Rita leaves the hospital, Mr. Nobody taking off his old man disguise applauds her for finally getting through her fears before the scene cuts to the Doom Patrol Manor.
    Mr. Nobody: Congratulations, Rita! Now you finally- (cut to the manor) Oh, god there's more? Ugh.
  • Rita returning home right when the Negative Spirit reunites with Larry, who was on the verge of death due to the separation. This is what she has to say:
    Rita: Larry, I adore you and I'm glad you're all right, but if you get blood on that carpet, I'll kill you.
    Larry: Thanks, Rita.
  • Mr. Nobody decked out in Doom Patrol merch. He then starts rambling on about how long it took for the Doom Patrol to finally come to terms with their inner problems, so they can be ready to face him.

     Penultimate Patrol 
  • In Mr. Nobody's flashback he tells his girlfriend that after he was fired, the Brotherhood hired a gorilla to take his place.
    Millie: They brought in muscle?
    Eric: No. It was an actual gorilla. He's very intellectual, allegedly... and he can speak French.
  • Danny asks Flex about Dolores, and when he tells her she's gone, Danny offers him their condolence. This leads to Flex hugging the tube man that greeted Larry, and Rita is chosen to awkwardly end this.
    Rita: This is a beautiful moment that is necessary, and I hate to break this up.
  • Where has the Beard Hunter been after his Niles fiasco? With the Dannyzens.
  • As Flex flexes a muscle to get the Doom Patrol to get into the White Space, he accidentally makes them (sans Cliff), the Dannyzens, and even Danny themselves (complete with very, hilariously unsubtle visuals, like the inflating tube man and an exploding fire hydrant) have an orgasm.
    Flex: (beat) I think I flexed the wrong muscle.
    Cliff: No shit, dummy!
    • Then, watching everyone, Cliff pretends to join in as well. His reasoning later? He didn't want to feel left out.
  • Jane, through gritted teeth and strained eyes telling Flex she's gonna kill him.
  • After all that, the Beard Hunter offers a cigarette to the bearded man that he's standing next to, then takes one himself.
  • When sent to the White Space, each of the Doom Patrol is sent back to the moment where their lives changed for the worse, each saying "holy shit".
    Larry: (in human form with his wife and kids) Holy shit.
    Rita: (back in her film tent with the script) Holy shit.
    Jane: (in the mental hospital inside a lone room) Holy shit.
    Cliff: (in human form) Holy shi-
    Mr. Nobody: Shit! We get it, Cliff!
  • Cliff yells at Mr. Nobody and says "Stop narrating me, shit-head!"
    • Mr. Nobody saying that Larry came out of the closet at the tender age of ninety-five.
  • Cliff decides to leave the memory and go along with what happened that made him Robot-man, Mr. Nobody frantically tries to get him to stay.
    Mr. Nobody: Cliff, I know I've been a shit this season, but I'm telling you the truth!
    • As Hammerhead starts to tear down the furniture boarding up the door, you can hear the exasperated "Well shit" in Mr. Nobody's voice.
  • Dr. Harrison begins to analyze Mr. Nobody, calling him out on his edginess and he starts to fall apart.
    Mr. Nobody: That's ridiculous. A) I am sinister and dark. B) I'm powerful enough to control this entire streaming service if I wanted to!
    Cliff: What the fuck is going on?
  • We get this exchange when the Doom Patrol comes face-to-face with Mr. Nobody, who's still using his old appearance from when he was talking with Niles.
    Mr. Nobody: Do you really think it would be that easy? If you want Niles, you have to go through me.
    Cliff: Real you looks like a fuckin' dweeb to me.
    Mr. Nobody: (looks at himself) Oh... right. (laughs sheepishly)
  • Rita's incredulous tone as she realizes why Mr. Nobody has gone through all of the trouble of tormenting them for the entire season.
    Rita: You're doing this because you were dumped?
    Cliff: I get it. Standard stuff.
    Larry: Basic.
  • Vic comes in to shoot Mr. Nobody and what does he say?
    Vic: Booyah.
  • Apparently, the Brotherhood did end up using Mr. Nobody's robot.
    • Cliff's response is particularly hilarious.
    Cliff: I got this. I speak robot.
    • In the montage of the robot repeatingly killing the Doom Patrol, guess what song is used in it? Hot Diggity!
  • Mr. Nobody pulling the rug out from everyone and transporting them back to the White Space. But Cliff is still very confused.
    Mr. Nobody: If stupidity were a super power, you'd be goddamn Superman!
    • Vic then demands to know what happened and why they weren't all beating Mr. Nobody's ass.
    Mr. Nobody: Oh, they already tried that. It... it's far to convoluted to go into right now. You can look out for it, during the "previously on" part of the next episode. The moral, is... basically... there's no beating me.
  • When Niles realizes what Mr. Nobody wants, he responds with a simple, "Uh... duh."

     Ezekiel Patrol 
  • Mr. Nobody summarises the entire season in rhyme:
    Cue the recap! Paraguay vaca made me this way.
    A harbinger of chaos brought to make this geezer pay.
    I strung along the Dumb Patrol, flipped the bus into a hole.
    Slammed it shut. Wait, what? Stuffed it up a donkey's butt.
    A team was forged with one belief. To stop at nothing and get their Chief.
    Nazi beating, doomsday cheating, beard hair eating, romance heating.
    Punk to skunk, robot junk, flashback dancing with a hunk.
    Gator-baiting, half-chub dating, sliming through a metal grate.
    Death cult all around, Jane survived the Underground.
    A.N.T. Farm, Larry harmed, delivering justice with a swarm.
    Father doting, hand exploding, pain obscured through secret coding.
    Growing close with each endeavor, finally they came together.
    But I grew bored with this game of chase and trapped them inside the White Space.
    Back their leader against the wall, forcing him to spill it all.
    This is the best timeline ever!
  • Mr. Nobody, proud of his revenge against the Doom Patrol and Niles, parties it up in the White Space and declaring that this feeling of satisfaction would never ever end. We then Gilligan Cut to Mr. Nobody drunkly laying on the floor, with a bottle of blue alcohol and depressed out of his mind.
    • He then reads a magazine with the cover calling Doom Patrol the worst tv show ever. While drinking and sitting on a toilet.
    Mr. Nobody: "A convoluted and meandering plot that ends in a whimper"? "An impotent villain with a cliche approach to revenge"?! (beat) You know what? He's right. He's totally right!
    • One page is literally covered with two paragraphs worth of just the word "bad".
  • "Yes. It is tight, Admiral Whiskers."
  • Jane and Rita agreeing to travel through a painting to help Danny is fairly serious... until they ask Larry, who replies "Does my opinion even matter?" Which just leaves Cliff.
  • This line, spoken by a giant talking thermonuclear rat to an equally colossal cockroach.
  • Rita and Larry arriving on the scene of Doom Manor via scooters.
  • An unintentional one, Cliff telling Jane to run away from the giant Admiral Whiskers, even though the framing makes it looks like she's a mile away, while Cliff is right up against it.
    • Beforehand, when they hear the stomping, he asks if it was the cockroach, but then sees a giant Admiral Whiskers.
    Cliff: Oh, fuck my life!
  • Mr. Nobody narrates the story and decides to have Ezekiel the Cockroach and Admiral Whiskers make-out.
  • Beard Hunter asks a quick question.
    Beard Hunter: So, the cockroach eats them to protect them from the radiation. I get that. But... What happens to us?
    Mr. Nobody: (beat) Oh shi- (explosion)
  • Danny is turned into a brick labeled "Danny Brick and Co."

Season Two

     Fun Size Patrol 
  • Larry has become very skilled in the past few weeks at making tiny things for the rest of the Patrol, like pancakes or a tiny joint for Jane to smoke. Cliff even notes that's probably the world's smallest marijuana joint.
    • Cliff and Jane's relationship has also seemed to have upgraded as they bitch and gossip with each other like high school girls. They even gossip about what Chief had to fuck in order to get Dorothy.
  • Cliff spending his time luring out rats and beating them with his fists.
    Cliff: Squeak, squeak, motherfucker!!
  • Cliff complaining about the Chief's science skills.
    Cliff: He's a shitty scientist! Look around you! We are his fucking life's work, what does that tell you?
  • After the Chief tells Cliff that killing rats won't help him fill the hole in his heart, Cliff returns while the rest of the Patrol are watching a movie, wearing the pelt of rat he killed. The only thing he has to say to the Chief? "Hole. Filled. Asshole."
  • Kipling only coming to Chief if he performs a song with an umbrella, and even records it as he appears.
    Kipling: That was a wonderful performance. And in miniature? (chefs kiss)

     Tyme Patrol 
  • When the Chief reveals to the Doom Patrol he's dying and tells them his actual age, 139, Rita (who's probably the oldest after the Chief) says he's practically dead now.
    Cliff: Oh man, here come the water works.
  • Cliff yelling that they were not looking after Dorothy and, "It's every man, woman and brick for themselves!"
  • Rita introduces her plan to find Dr. Tyme to Cliff and Jane with a stick-figure drawings, and they also wonder why his name is Tyme with a 'Y'.
    • When they do finally see what Doctor Tyme looks like?
    Cliff: ...I'm sorry I made fun of your drawing.
  • The Chief tells Jane, Rita and Cliff that in order to reach Dr. Tyme's time-capsule using the Continuinium, they need to say what they were doing at midnight on August 8th of 1980. While Rita was knitting and Jane was sleeping, Cliff claims he was sleeping in his RV, but when that turns out to be a lie, he admits he was in the broom closet of a noodle-shop banging a waitress. And just as they're being transported, Cliff flips Niles off for making him remember the noodle shop.
  • The Doom Patrol prepare to enter Dr. Tyme's domain:
    Rita: Remember, the Chief said to be careful—
  • Doctor Tyme introducing himself, and lamp-shading his name.
    Doctor Tyme: My name is Doctor Tyme, with a "Y", because, why not?
  • When the three arrive to Dr. Tyme's temporal sphere and find that is a roller-skate party at the rhythm of Bad Girls, Cliff and Jane say the classical phrase of "What the fuck?".
    • Just as things devolve into chaos when Dr. Tyme's head gets broken, a samurai warrior prepares to fight, only to be speared from behind by a zulu warrior, who is then decked by Cliff. There's also a mime beating the shit out of someone.
    • Then the agents Niles had sent years ago appear to try and take the Continuinium.
  • Of course when Niles had specifically told them not to touch the Continuinium, what do Jane and Cliff do? They touch it.

     Pain Patrol 
  • Darling Come Home coming into Jane's room and both screaming at each other in fright.
    Hammerhead: What, in Ikea door's day sale fuck was that?! Stay out of our room!!
  • Cliff decides he's going out of the manor after having an argument with Niles, and when he asks Jane (who had just entered the kitchen), if she wants to comes with him, she answers with her mouth full "fuck yeah".
  • Jane gets pulled into the Underground, with the other personalities gathering to have an intervention for her which she lampshades.
    Jane: Is this a fucking intervention?
    • Baby Doll writes that she doesn't like feeling sleepy all the time because Jane always feels sad and wants to keep singing and dancing. Jane snarks she was doing them all a favor since all Baby Doll sang was "Roar", but Driller Bill claims the she likes the song and it makes her feel empowered.
    • Karen airs her grievances by saying she dealt with a lot of Jane's horrible decisions, like the time she tried on a new style, but looked past it. She even claims to forgive her for ruining her from getting together with her Dougie... before she then starts to wail loudly. Jane sinks into her chair and pulls her hair over her face clearly thinking, "Fucking end me now."
    • Driller Bill bemoans that because Jane keeps rushing into things with the Doom Patrol, she couldn't do her drilling or her billing and had missed their busiest month.

     Sex Patrol 
  • As the episode starts to quietly wind down to a close, Cliff has one question:
  • Niles assuring Dorothy that they would have Danny back to normal before bed time. Cut to the episode constantly putting in how long it was until Dorothy's bed time and how long after when she sneaks back to the party.
  • Cliff spends a majority of the episode high as fuck, and the way he reacts to Niles' solution to his depression after his epic-disaster of a meeting with his daughter.
    Cliff: I'm having a full blown psychological-crisis...and you're offering me ecstasy?
    [Chief gives him a look as if saying "is that a yes"]
    • Cue Cliff dancing at the party tripping balls, wearing glow rings and a red boa.
    • While dancing, the sex demon arrives and appears as a shadow on the wall...who proceeds to dance right along with Cliff. Between being high and all the insane bullshit he's experience in the show, Cliff goes right along with it not caring.
    • Cliff arrives and meets the Sex Men, he immediately asks who the fuck they are before asking if someone ordered strippers for Danny. When Kiss reveals the demon's name as Shadowy Mister Evans, we get this reaction:
      Cliff: Hey oh, I know that guy. I fuckin' danced with that guy. [Beat as everyone looks at him] Holy fuck! I danced with a sex demon?!
    • Cliff spending the whole time with the Sex Men having absolutely no idea what the fuck is going on especially when Shadowy Mister Evans births his doomsday baby.
      Cliff: I have no clue what the fuck is going on and this time I mean it!
    • The exchange when the group enters a hall full of sex ghosts:
      Cliff: I know I'm going to hell, but the sex ghosts are hoooot.
      Larry: [So completely done] Shut up Cliff.
  • Whenever the Sex Men say the name of their group, its followed by the appropriate sound of a saxophone.
    Cliff: A, I'm fucking high! B, you just totally embarrassed me in front of the Sex Men. C, YOU WANT ME TO KILL A FUCKING BABY?! Fuck, NO!
  • After last episode where decided to stay at Doom Manor, the other personalities remove her as primary leaving others to try and do her job.
    • The Hangman's Beautiful Daughter takes over for a bit first and when Cliff asks her how she was planning to pay for bills and food, she stops and admits she was only hoping to be left alone to paint... because that all her role is.
    • Next up is the Scarlet Harlot who actually manages to start leaving...only to learn about the party to pump Danny up and sees a couple making out. No points for guessing what she decides to do...
      • Bonus points as she seen dancing sexually between a man and woman while Dorothy is watching from afar.
      Dorothy: Are you sure we should be seeing this?
    • After its clear Scarlet is of no help we get Dr. Harrison takes over and is damn uncomfortable in the dress she wearing her first act is to steal a coat off a party-goer who doesn't even care. When the Sex Men show up, she states to have so many questions and immediately makes a b-line to Cuddles.
    • After learning how the world will end, and more importantly all children on the planet will die, Hammerhead immediately takes over to go after Shadowy Mister Evans. Equal parts pissed that Evans is threatening children and being forced back to the mansion to save the world. The minute she shows up and tries to enter the room to stop the sex demon, she's almost crippled with an orgasm and struggles to reach him.
    • Cliff (still high as a kite) goes to congratulate Hammerhead and gives her a hug that she's adamantly refusing and it's only after this does she give control back to Jane.
      Hammerhead: (grunting) Okay, Jane... you win. [Gives Jane back control]
      Clif: I am so fucking high~!
  • Danny and the Dannyzens depart, and Cliff asks if they weren't staying to help clean up the house just like anyone who had a party thrown in their house.

     Finger Patrol 
  • Baby Doll and Dorothy keep slapping Cliff playfully, and when Vic comes in they both run off giggling. He tells Cliff he missed a killer tea party, Cliff and him have a stare down before turning and walking away. Their entire backs and lower bodies are covered in stickers.
  • Cliff's dream about himself and Vic as the stars of 70s-style Buddy Cop Show, "Steele & Stone". Complete with a Turn in Your Badge scene with Niles as (naturally) Da Chief.
  • As Cliff drops the finger in his pocket, the scene cuts appropriately to a hot dog being put on the grill.
  • Rita tells Larry she saw a cute, mint pencil skirt and asks if it could somehow go from the "to keep" box to the "give to Rita" box.
    Larry: It was my wife's.
    Rita: (beat) Then never mind.

     Dumb Patrol 
  • The Scant Infection, pushing the team to follow their worst impulses, leads to almost non-stop hilarity.
    • Larry tries to go visit his family, disguised as a doctor. Still covered in bandages.
    • Vic decides to perform impromptu surgery on Roni. And decides Larry should help since he's already dressed like a doctor.
  • Larry, being casually dragged by the Scants, blissfully unaware that he's being captured.
    Larry: C'mon you guys, keep up!
  • How does the show hand wave Mr. Nobody not appearing?
    Beard Hunter: Well, he got a gig, on some animated bullcrap, so... haven't seen him since.
    • Also the fact that the Beard Hunter is wearing Beast Boy Teen Titans Go underpants.
  • If you look carefully at the bottom-right of the screen as he's saying this, you may see a small advertisement referencing the show in question.
  • The others ask if Beard Hunter is infected with Scants and he laughs saying no.
    Miranda: So you thought it was a good idea to just paint the front of your body?
    Beard Hunter: (beat) Pardon me, gentlemen. Listen to me, little lady. I'm a self-trained shinobi warrior, and a semi-semi professional Fortnite streamer, okay?
  • Larry greeting the Scants and calling himself "Doctor Larry Trainor", before pausing and feeling that that wasn't right.
  • The fact that Beard Hunter's disguise worked... or it was just because the Scants were preoccupied with the others and didn't notice him.

     Dad Patrol 
  • Another character has a TV-show fantasy about partnering with Victor: this time it's Rita, with the two of them as "Beekeeper & Borg", in a pastiche of The Avengers.
  • When Cliff fries some sausages for Clara for breakfast, he realizes as he's putting them on her plate that one of them is actually a severed finger, and has to hastily cover for his horrified reaction.

     Wax Patrol 
  • When the Doom Patrol arrives at the fairgrounds, The Candlemaker summons the team's imaginary friends from their childhoods to attack them. Cliff's imaginary friend? Jesus Christ from a summer at Bible Camp, who proceeds to roundhouse kick Cliff into a tent.
    Imaginary Friend Jesus: You think I give a french-fried titty fuck?
    • After Cliff apologizes for forgetting about him right after he left camp and talks about how that place was the only way he could connect to his father, Jesus replies with an astounded "Jesus" and then apologizes to Cliff for hurting him.
    • Kipling is attacked by his...
    Rita: Your imaginary friend is a Punch and Judy puppet?
    Kipling: (as he's dragged off) It was the 15th century! We didn't have Bugs cunting Bunny!
  • Larry offhandly mentions that he never had an imaginary friend growing up, Cliff calls that the saddest thing he's ever heard.
  • Vic's imaginary friend growing up was Doctor Cowboy, which is just his dad dressed as a cowboy with a lab coat.
    Doctor Cowboy: Whatever you do, I'll be right here to say yeehaw.

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