EthanThe main character. Until the Drama Bomb Finale.
- Achey Scars: On Ethan's shoulder and caused by Rory - which has only been mentioned once and never again.
- Flanderization: He began as The Ditz, but moved on to Cloud Cuckoolander. More recently, he has surpassed this, and some fans are starting to suspect he is in fact clinically insane. (This may explain why Ethan made a Heroic Sacrifice to prevent a dystopian future from happening, and the entire strip is going to be rebooted.)
- Genius Ditz: It's stated that for 7 seconds a day, he enters into this zone that grants him insight into the universe, which in turn lets him do amazing things like build sapient robots or dispense amazing relationship advice, before returning to "normal". To cap off this bit of insight into his character, he puts slices of pineapple over his eyes to make pineapple goggles.
- Growing the Beard: While some of Ethan's more recent acts are downright insane, his position as Manager of Gamehaven resulted in a lot more times where he actually is intelligent and insightful... Of course, He's still the same old Ethan.
- Heroic Sacrifice: Sacrifices himself to turn off the time machine. Results in Character Death.
- Jerkass: When it comes to customers and Rob, due to his limited experience or ignorance of videogames.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: In spite of his flaws, he truly loves his wife Lilah and at least respects his friend Lucas when he's not trying anything stupid.
- Only Sane Man: Inverted. Everybody else can come across as sane when compared to him. In fact, during a period in which he starts acting sane, everyone else starts acting insane to compensate, as though he's a lightning rod for the universe's insanity.
- Passing the Torch: He got back from marrying Lilah to be handed a envelope by his boss, who was about to quit the business. And had apparently just handed Ethan the deed.
- Too Dumb to Live: According to Zeke, if you run the data from Ethan's various misadventures, his life expectancy comes out negative. Negative forty.
- Unexplained Recovery: He jumped off a second or third-story fire escape in his underwear because according to video game logic if he's lighter he'll be less injured. He lands on concrete and winds up with about two inches of bone sticking out of his arm. He goes to the hospital and is sent home the same day (in real life he'd probably have to stay for at least one night's observation) with "Paaaaaaaiiiiiiiiin killers!" and a cast. The next comic he's featured in there's no evidence he was ever injured despite having a break that would've taken months to heal (then again...) and would've at least left a nasty scar.
- Babies Ever After: Lucas's wife gives birth to a son in the last strip, whom he affectionately names Ethan.
- Bi the Way: Turns out he fucks dudes.
- The Straight Man: He's this to Ethan.
Ethan's gamer girlfriend and eventually widow.
- Gamer Chick: She's as big of a gamer as Ethan and Lucas.
- Her Heart Will Go On: Founds the Ethan MacManus Church of Gaming.
- Nerd Nanny: As another Straight Man to Ethan.
Formerly known as X-Bot, Zeke was built by Ethan from an X-Box console.
- Instant A.I.: Just Add Water!: How Ethan managed to build a fully functional artificial intelligence out of an x-box console is a mystery.
- Player Killing: In episode 5 of season 2.
- Super Strength: Comes with being a robot.
- Took a Level in Badass: After Ted reveals his Evil Plan, Zeke rescues Ethan in a Badass way.
Feeling that he had taken the original cast as far as he could go with, Tim Buckley announced on his blog that the strip will now feature the Players (side characters once used for violent gags) as the main cast. They consist of Player 1 (Blue), Player 2 (Red), Player 3 (Yellow) and Player 4 (Green).
- Ascended Extra: They've taken over as the main cast of the comic.
- Amazing Technicolor Population: As mentioned, Player 1 is blue, Player 2 is red, Player 3 is yellow and Player 4 is green,
- Berserk Button: See Ax-Crazy above. Don't ever mess up Yellow's cards after a game.
- Butt-Monkey: Yellow, who is often the victim of gruesome acts of violence by the other players.
- Character Development: Undoubtedly as the comic progresses.
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Green. She is seen here casually drinking a bottle of mustard. She also never knew the Player's apartment had a ceiling,and thinks it's plotting something.
- Color-Coded Characters: They're all different colors.
- Comedic Sociopath: Red in the old strips. His violent temper has yet to be seen in the reboot.
- It seems to be resurfacing.
- Death Is Cheap: The only reason they're still around after killing each other so much is that they have a respawn chamber in their house.
- Genius Ditz: Green in this strip.
- Jerkass: Blue, but Red and Green can also qualify for this.
- Only Sane Man: Yellow. Doesn't seem to have changed at all in the reboot, judging from this.
- Shrinking Violet: Yellow is said to be this.
- Those Two Guys: Blue and Red, par for the course as they're Players 1 and 2.
- Took a Level in Dumbass: Red seems to be steering towards this. See random pools of blood on the ground? Sample them and get horrible diseases. Get offered a lot of useful healing items? Opt for a stick and use it to plug up a gushing wound.
- Took a Level in Kindness: Somewhat. They don't seem to try to brutally kill each other as often as they did when they were side characters, and get along quite amicably nowadays. Red is the most noticably changed, all of his past appearances had him trying to kill somebody.
- And I Must Scream: Some of his arguments with Ted seem to imply that this trope is, at least partially, in effect. Particularly when it comes to killing Ethan off.
- The Dragon: To Ted
- Arch-Enemy: Of a sort to Zeke.
- Big Bad: Until he leaves via Exit Villain Stage Left, followed somewhat shortly after by the Drama Bomb Finale.
- The Dog Was the Mastermind: He's Scott's pet penguin. Nominally at least.
- Everything's Better with Penguins: He's a penguin.
- The Speechless: Being a penguin, he's incapable of actual human speech. So he shares a body with Scott sometimes.
Ethan, aka Analog
- Characterization Marches On: Keeps his position as the manager of Gamehaven, but, outside of things like randomly falling asleep and random geeking out over game releases, he seems to be much more thoughtful and have an actual strategy to when he does things.
- Empowered Badass Normal: Fights like Batman with his gadgets, but he does have Resurrective Immortality.
- Expy: Of Batman.
- Resurrective Immortality: Weaponized - jumping himself and an opponent out a window is a net gain.Analog: "I have infinite continues. Do you?"
- Too Dumb to Live: Can be as bad as pre-Reboot Ethan, except for the fact that, for Analog, such insane acts, as mentioned above, actually are good strategic choices!
Cort RyderThe main character.
- Anti-Hero: He's an ex-Marshal who now takes jobs in the grey area (or as he put it, morally flexible). He's a good person at heart, but often he takes less savory decisions for pragmatic reasons, such as delivering highly volatile explosives when he knows they will be used for bad ends. When called out on it, he points out that he doesn't want Ssimias to be added to the list of people who wants him dead.
SpeckCort's partner and best friend.
- Blessed with Suck: Dissolving things on contact means barred from physical touch with a lot of things. On the other hand, dissolving things on contact has many practical uses too.
- Mobile Fishbowl: Necessary, as he dissolves almost anything on touch.
- Touch of Death: As a Mimion, his skin produces corrosive mucus that dissolves almost anything on contact. His threats often amount to 'giving a hug', but when we actually see it in action, it's not pretty.
NyrahAn Odrossian Cort found, and kicked off the plot.
- Action Girl: She's a Royal Guard, sworn to follow the order of the Odrossian Royal Family.
- Last of Her Kind: The last known surviving Odrossian, after the Dranglaex genocide.
- Lawful Good: She holds an oath to protect the people and the galaxy at large, and thus have a lot of argument with Cort's more pragmatic and morally grey decisions.
- Living Macguffin: The Darkstar Syndicate, and by extension, the Dranglaex Empire want her to locate the Odrossian Starcaster.
- Skilled, but Naïve: You don't get to be a Royal Guard by being a pushover. That being said, she wakes up after a century in cryo-sleep in a world where things are a lot less black-and-white and a lot more grey.
- Unwilling Roboticisation: Tortured by tearing her body parts off bit by bit and replacing them with mechanical parts. So far it seems only her internal organs and head are what's left of her original body.
The GrinA Psycho for Hire sent by the Darkstar Syndicate to recover The Starcaster
- Loves the Sound of ScreamingThe Grin: I've heard a lot of screams... I've caused a lot of screams... And that's a good one.
- Psycho for Hire: As Cort puts it, he's a 'Murder Enthusiast'.
SsissimiasAn Underworld broker whom Cort took a job from for Credits.
- Affably Evil: 'They' are polite in the entire exchange, even understanding when Cort almost vomited at their appearance. But they're still an underworld broker dealing with unsavory business, and they make a point to Cort not to cross them.
- Body Horror: Ssissimias is not a person, rather the corpse of a person infested by the Necro Puppeteers, with multiple holes where they come out on the right cheek. They also threaten Cort of similar fate if he ever cross them. Trypophobiacs, beware.Ssissimias: Most important for you to know is that you look upon the face of the last one that attempted to swindle Ssissimias. The rest is details.
- One-Shot Character: Since the audience prefer Cort to keep his end of the deal, there's no reason for Ssissimias to get involved in Cort's life any further. For now, at least.
- Puppeteer Parasite: They are a bunch of Necro Puppeteers infesting the corpse of the last person who tried to swindle them.
- Third-Person Person: Although Ssissimias is not a person, but rather 'them'.
Kelias & VectanixBrothers and emperors of the Dranglaex.
- Big Bad: Leader of the Dranglaex, a warmongering empire.
- Fantastic Racism: They see themselves as the Aug's only successful creation, and sought to cleanse the galaxy from their 'inferiors'.
- Stronger Sibling: Vectanix possesses a Starcaster of his own, defaulting him into this.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: Kelias is the hot blooded one, while Vectanix is the cautious one.
Quel'OranFederation Marshal, and Cort's ex-partner.
- Cthulhumanoid: He's got tentacles covering his mouth. That being said, he's not a malevolent character at all.
- I Gave My Word: Made an unspecified promise with Cort's father, to take care and help Cort.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: Sent his men only to pursue, not engage, Cort escaping, and aims to talk with Cort and resolve the matter peacefully, if possible.