Yeah, it's not as though you were asked to review one of the Direct to Video Disney sequels.
"Here it is, the song that gave everyone in the audience larynx envy. I still hear Lloyd belting it around the house sometimes."
— The Cinema Snob, commenting on "Let It Go"
The Cinema Snob is told there is an exploitation film called Elsa, Snow Queen of Arendelle, and instantly knows it's really Frozen. Being well past his cutoff date would make it ineligible for review, but since he would get to watch a good movie, he goes ahead anyway in his typical style (which means this comic is Not Safe for Work).
This fancomic uses screencaps similar to Campaign Comics (such as Knights of Buena Vista, which is by the same author).
The comic was posted in 28 pages, in three parts. Sadly, the site that housed them has been taken down, and the comic is much harder to find.
Luckily the comic has been uploaded in full to Know Your Meme: See here.
It can also be found partially archived here.
Tropes:
- '80s Hair: Snob assumes Anna plays bass for a hair metal band.
- Adaptation Origin Connection: Discussed when Snob noted this film didn't give a reason for Elsa's powers, which missed an opportunity for a shared origin with the villain... and a chance to
hear fans bitch about how the shared origin isn't in the source material. - Animation Age Ghetto: Spoofed In-Universe. When Anna and Kristoff appear at the end of "In Summer", Snob applies Faux Symbolism to the scene, because it's how he can feel better about watching a film for children.
- Ass Pull: Discussed In-Universe with Elsa's varied and seeming limitless powers.Elsa: I never knew what I was capable of.
Snob: Yeah, neither did the script. - Averted Trope: Snob remarks that he's surprised Hans doesn't give a one-liner before slaying Elsa, and that that's a missed opportunity for one.
- Bait-and-Switch Comparison: After the "I'm gonna tell him." "Don't you dare!" exchange, Snob notes this was exactly what happened with him and Jillian for a Brad Tries... video where Brad was going to eat bugs... except it was Jillian who was going to tell Brad, and Snob who told her not to.
- Blatant Lies: Snob pretends he always knew this movie was going to be good.
- Butch Lesbian: Snob references this stereotype when, after noting that some pastors said Elsa was immoral because she was gay, Snob claims that "if Elsa was lesbian, she'd have a butch haircut and wear sensible shoes". Then in the next panel he told those pastors to fuck off.
- Call-Back: Snob wonders if he should do another 3D episode (after his review of Friday the 13th Part III), but seeing the saw slamming through the ice made the prospect too dangerous.
- The Cameo: Oancitizen appears at the end of the review to discuss the animation style of The Snow Queen, but Snob just snaps at him that the review is over.
- Damned by Faint Praise: Despite Dogs being a bad movie, Snob still thinks it's a step up from a zombie confederate movie.
- Double Entendre: With Anna first saying "Do you wanna build a snowman?" in that tone of voice, and Elsa giving such a smirk in response, Snob notes that the question ends up being literal instead of this trope, since they're children.
- Everything's Better with Sparkles: Wonders if Jesus resurrecting Lazarus would have had as many sparkles as when Anna's curse wears off.
- Exactly What It Says on the Tin: It's about this particular internet reviewer discussing this particular movie.
- Fetch Quest: Snob assumes the heroes will need to do one to find an artifact which will let Elsa control her powers.
- Fridge Brilliance: In-Universe. After noting that Elsa's palace had different colors on the ice, Snob assumes Elsa could just make ice-based food like ice cream and slushies. "That would certainly answer what she'd eat here."
- Fridge Logic: In-Universe, Snob wonders why the "love experts" couldn't have told Elsa that love was how she controlled her powers.
- Garnishing the Story: Snob notes that Pierre Kirby (of the Godfrey Ho Ninja Movies) can make any fight scene better.
- G-Rated Sex: Snob says the "crazy trust exercise" is third base by Disney standards (and he's pretty sure Kristoff copped a feel).
- Hilarious in Hindsight: In-Universe spoof where we see Jake in Midnight Screenings talking about how stupid this film looked from the trailers, even though he ended up gushing about it when he saw the finished product.
- Ho Yay: Discussed In-Universe with Snob noting how "Playing With The Boys" by Kenny Loggins is by itself just a song about relaxing and having fun, while people just decided it meant something else. Of course Snob put a clip of the song in such a place that would bring this up, namely when young Anna and Elsa are playing.
- If I Wanted X, I Would Y: Fitting his Mad Libs Catch Phrase, he talks about Hans and then says "I'll stick with real bland pretty boys, like Gayracula, thank you very much."
- Male Gaze: When talking about the fake name given, Snob says he wouldn't have been fooled that it would be a sequel to Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS or even its knockoff. Then when he wonders if Frozen had anything in common with those films, there is a closeup of Elsa's ample bosom.
- Men Don't Cry: After the end of "Do You Want To Build A Snowman", the review cuts to Brad and Jake doing their "bro" characters calling the movie "gay" while wiping the tears from their eyes.
- Name McAdjective: Calls Hans "Hunk McGeneric".
- "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer: After noting an out-of-universe explanation for actions in Man of Steel, Snob says "You think I'm joking?" Then there is a screencap and a URL to an article where the film's director outright gives that explanation.
- Obligatory Joke: Compares the "Weaseltown - Weselton" confusion with the "Adelle Dezeem" gaffe, and then is glad he got that joke out of the way.
- Oh, Crap!: Snob thinks the film is going into Too Smart for Strangers territory, but when the film was just using it for a quick gag, he is very grateful.
- Opinion Myopia: Spoofed In-Universe, like the Snob videos proper.
- Thinks no one really watched Enchanted, so it's okay to claim Frozen was the first Disney film to call out the Fourth-Date Marriage.
- Doesn't like the film using Slapstick humor, because the film's jokes should be "exactly like a seventies Woody Allen film".
- He doesn't care about a Chase Scene if it's not like Bullitt or The French Connection.
- Snob takes Olaf's description of what love is, and turns it around to him justifying his hate for certain films and wanting people not to see them.
- ...Or So I Heard:
- While Anna claims she won't judge Kristoff crying over Elsa's ice castle, Snob insists she'll instead mock Kristoff later on her Facebook page... not that such a thing ever happened to Snob himself.
- Wonders if "My own, personal flurry!" would get a reaction when ordering a McFlurry with that line... not that he ever went to McDonald's, of course.
- Padding: Spoofed when Olaf told the group where to find Elsa's castle, and Snob complained that would just move the plot along, and lose a perfectly good chance to inflate the running time.
- Praising Shows You Don't Watch: In-Universe Snob says he's sure The Snow Queen (1957) is superior to Frozen, despite not having seen it, simply because it is both classic and foreign.
- Press X to Not Die: He compares Kristoff dodging the frozen ship to a quicktime event.Snob: Crap! [Sven] fell in the lake! Mash X! Mash X!
- Reference Overdosed: As per usual for Snob reviews, there are dozens of references made here, easily more than one per strip on average.
- Required Secondary Powers: Since Elsa finds "the cold never bothered me anyway", Snob is disappointed that this means her nipples wouldn't be hardened by her dress, even if it was made out of ice.
- Rule of Drama: Surmises that Grandpabbie took Anna's memory just so the rest of the act would be more dramatic.
- Rule of Funny: How else can Lloyd sing "Let It Go" around the house all the time?
- Sarcasm Mode: Snob saying that Grandpabbie "gives Elsa a warning, in a way that's perfectly reasonable to tell an already frightened eight-year-old."
- The Scrappy: A Zig-Zagged Trope. Snob actually is disappointed that Olaf isn't this trope. Everyone was going to have so much fun hating him. It gets to the point where Snob pretends Olaf said something offensive, just so Snob would feel better.
- Self-Deprecation: Snob notes that the Duke of Weselton looks similar to him and shows what Snob would be like with gray hair and a less deep voice.Snob: Turns out I'd be an asshole!
- Shout-Out: There is a reference on nearly every strip. In order of mention:
- Airplane II: The Sequel: Elsa Letting Her Hair Down is cut with Elaine doing a parody of the trope.
- Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: The opening scene shows us what the dwarfs do in the off-season.
- Star Trek: The Original Series: When mentioning Idina Menzel's role in Wicked, Snob says she played an Orion slave girl.
- Silent Night, Deadly Night: Snob says Elsa's accident with Anna is still safer than sledding in the woods at night, and then we see a clip of the sled decapitation scene.
- The Hobbit: The king's map actually leads to the Lonely Mountain.
- TRON: Snob compares the ice trail young Elsa leaves from the horse to the light cycles.
- Challenge Of The Go Bots: Snob initially thinks the trolls are the Rock Lords, and wonders if they're going to have another crossover with the Go Bots.
- Pixar: Snob only likes it when animated films by this studio try to make him cry.
- Demolition Man: Says that Dr. Cocteau will find a way to recreate Elsa's freezing on a controlled scale, before he founds San Angeles.
- Atop the Fourth Wall: After Anna says her sister isn't a monster, Snob asks her to say "She is a MAN!" and punch Weselton in the gut.
- Rankin/Bass: After Anna's skirt is frozen solid, Snob compares her movements to a character in their Stop Motion specials. Snob later notes that we know Marshmallow will be okay because "bumbles bounce."
- Mortal Kombat: Snob assumes Kristoff wearing an outfit covered with snow means he is actually Cosplaying as Sub-Zero... except the outfit is the wrong color.
- Transformers (2007): Snob says he hopes Oaken isn't really gay, because a gay Scandinavian is "as offensive a stereotype as a black used car salesman!"
- The Legend of Boggy Creek: The "Travis Crabtree" song is played over "Reindeers Are Better than People".
- Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes: Snob claims Christopher Lambert does a better Tarzan impression than Anna.
- Snowpiercer: Kristoff's sled is a less effective prototype to that train.
- The Newlywed Game: Compares Kristoff's questioning, of Anna about Hans, to this show.
- Meg Ryan: Says Anna's impression of the actress (or at least her notable roles) got tiring for "the audience members with penises".
- The Princess Bride: When Anna shouts "It's TRUE LOVE!", Snob says that Mrs. Miracle Max still doesn't like anyone denying that.
- Stage Fright (2014): Snob compares "In Summer" to a teen wondering what it would be like to be killed in a slasher flick, which would make a great song in Stage Fright 2.
- Darkthrone: He mentions the Norwegian Black Metal group is in Arendelle castle, taking requests.
- Newhart: Compares Weselton and his lackeys to Larry, Darryl, and Darryl.
- Mega Man: Says the area with all the icicles would make a really hellish level for those games.
- Frozen (2010) (the thriller film): Snob says that this film is why Anna and Kristoff didn't take the ski lift up the mountain.
- Die Another Day: Assumes there is an indoor racetrack in Elsa's ice castle, where the chase scene in that film is happening.
- Superman: The Movie: Says Elsa's ice castle's decor was like the elegant Krypton architecture before "the crystal look became all the rage". Later on, Snob says he wouldn't be surprised if Elsa flew around the Earth until it spun backwards.
- Heartbeeps: When Anna compliments Elsa's new look, Snob says Anna would say that even if Elsa looked ridiculous, like the female lead's getup in Heartbeeps.
- Johnny Cash: After Elsa says this place is where she won't hurt anyone, Snob plays Cash's cover of "Hurt", but then he explicitly says it's not a Take That!. He feels that Elsa and Cash can make the "angst sound fucking genuine".
- Jack Frost (1997): Notes Elsa didn't need to drown a serial killer in toxic chemicals to make a scary snowman.
- Brad Jones' Vlogs: Compares the snow slide down the mountain to a water slide Brad and his friends call the "ass bleeder".
- Monty Python and the Holy Grail: Marshmallow is an easier obstacle than a taunting Frenchman.
- Fifty Shades of Grey: When Elsa gets chained up, Snob mistakes it for a scene from this movie.
- National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation: Olaf is snow surfing thanks to the new and improved kitchen lubricant.
- Snob's review of Sleepaway Camp: When Hans says his infamous Wham Line, Snob says "Why yes, everyone. That's a dick."
- Game of Thrones: Compares Hans' actions to this series.
- Child's Play: Snob takes "I'm your friend 'till the end" and turns it into something outright heartwarming, by using that line to describe Olaf's selfless actions with Anna.
- The Devil With Hitler: After Snob realizes that Hans' actions would mean Elsa would feel the pain of thinking she killed Anna twice, Snob says Hans should be in line to take over Satan's job.
- Huey Lewis and the News: "Hans got bitch slapped by The Power of Love. It is tougher than diamonds and stronger than steel, after all."
- Constantine: When Anna's curse starts to wear off, there is a clip of the devil saying "Sacrifice".
- Enigma: Compares the chanting in Frozen to the chanting in "Return to Innocence".
- Batman: When Elsa shoots a gigantic snowflake crystal into the sky for everyone to see, Snob calls it her version of the Bat Signal.
- He interrupts a "Falcon PUNCH!" reference from Super Smash Bros. because he had an even better reference. Cue the Pierre Kirby clip.
- Sincerity Mode: After Snob makes a couple jokes mocking those complaining about Elsa supposedly pushing the "gay agenda", Brad takes off his glasses.Brad: But seriously. FUCK. YOU.
- Suspiciously Specific Denial: Snob says he doesn't identify with Elsa's "Don't let them in, don't let them see" line at all. Description Cut to a Blu-Ray of Weekend at Bernie's.Snob: Don't let them see. Don't let them see. They must never know.
- Take That!: Several times Snob notes that this movie keeps reminding him of bad movies, but makes him even more glad he's watching this one. As for more specific examples:
- Saw 3D: The movie just started a few seconds ago, but Snob thinks it's already better than this movie.
- The Smurfs: Since the trolls don't say "Troll" every other sentence, their scenes are better than the Smurf films.
- After Earth: Agrees with the warning that "Fear will be your enemy", since Snob knows what it did to the leads in that film.
- Man of Steel: Several are made, from stating the peasants shouldn't react to Elsa's powers but should stand around looking bored (cut to a shot of the extras in the finale of Man of Steel), to claiming that Frozen is a better Superman movie than Man of Steel... and that even Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom is a better Superman movie note .
- The Day After Tomorrow: Snob claims Frozen is more plausible, even though it's a fantasy movie. Later, he takes a stab at how Frozen's climax is done better despite the similarities.
- Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen: Two are made. One to Skids and Mudflap, and one to the action in the movie.
- Epic (2013): Showing the slug as "our next annoying character punching bag". Snob isn't sure if he's grateful that answered his request.
- The trailers for Frozen: When Elsa looks at her hands, Snob says they can do anything, "even turn a shitty trailer with a reindeer and a snowman into Disney's best animated film in decades!"
- To Catch a Yeti: Elsa's panic, when learning about the Endless Winter she caused, mirrors how Snob felt when halfway through that film.
- Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: As long as Anna and Kristoff didn't survive the fall by hiding in a fridge, Snob is okay with it.
- Critical double standards: What looks like a jab at Transformers: Age of Extinction is more a jab at how a similar scene or arc is praised for some films but bashed in others.
- Elsa says, "Oh, what a nightmare, I dreamed That's My Boy made more money than Titanic."
- Tempting Fate: After Weselton demands to see the queen at the end, Snob reminds Weselton that he ordered Elsa's assassination. So he should go right ahead! He might get war declared if he's lucky!
- Wet T-Shirt Contest: Well, a skirt in this case. After Anna falls in a river and her dress is soaked below the waist, Snob notes she could have entered a wet petticoat contest.
- You Watch Too Much X: In Snob's case, it's porn, which manifests in quite a number of ways in this review.
- Snob comes this close to censoring the shot of Elsa giving away her powers, since it's a shot of ice spraying from her hand.
- He thinks Anna is going to stick the carrot on an inappropriate place on Olaf. After Snob's relieved Anna just used it to make a nose, he then reminds himself that "this is a Disney film. They aren't gonna start fucking."
- Snob finds some of Olaf's lines would be even funnier in a porno.
- He outright says he might watch too much porn when he notes that Elsa in her slinky dress is sexier than a lot of the naked women he's seen (as he's noted in his actual videos, he gets to see that every week).
