His video on Invisible Art features him reading from the manifesto of the Museum of Invisible Art. Halfway through reading the second section, he audibly struggles not to burst into laughter at how absolutely ridiculous and pretentious the 'poetry' is.
Launches a driveable outhouse in the air in Need For Speed II: "Just making sure the moon has a quality shitter."
The entirety of the video is just him driving the secret cheat code cars and generally trying to wreck the other racers. It doesn't exactly work, but it's hilarious.
"I'm not racing as just any old outhouse. I am Turbo Shitter!"
"Too much speed, we're flying!" (proceeds to fly off the map) "Turbo Shitter! Nooooo!"
His first line after the opening: "My race car this afternoon is just a standard dinosaur. Should be a tooth and nail battle for first place."
Hears a baby cry in Shutter: "Somebody get that baby a stock portfolio."
During a Cry of Fear video, he reaches the first jump scare that makes other players jump or shout in fright. His response? "Excuse me sir, you're interfering with my photography, please move over."
Most people would immediately shriek or freak out at the sight of the Slender Man from Slender. What he did upon seeing him for the first time? He tried to arrest him for trespassing.
He called Slender Man a "sack of juiced nipples" and "Spaghetti Arms."
Trying to evade Slender Man by running in a zigzag the way you do with alligators.
Watching the intro cutscene to Pepsiman and not understanding the dialogue: "And since I can't understand what he's telling me, I may as well be talking to a cow's udder."
"Parkour!" (gets hit by a car) "Aw, shit."
And then he gets hit again: "It is Pepsiman's anger that will drive him to succeed - Fuck you, car."
When he completes the first level, he tries to guess the plot of the game: "So using what I know about Isaac Newton, and cross-referencing that information with the mathematical formulas constructed by Euclid, I can accurately deduce that Pepsiman is hand-delivering these large quantities of Pepsi over to a tribal group of aliens. The plot thickens."
He keeps going after the second level: "Pepsiman is delivering the Pepsi, to the rectums of the aliens! Shit, that truck just hit him, the government is trying to assassinate him for what he's trying to do! So Pepsiman is now being framed for high treason when all he's trying to do is quench the thirst of the aliens' dehydrated assholes. Such a noble act of heroism, I, for one, will not stand by and let shit depart from my ass cheeks while Pepsiman needs our help - I, have, been, flattened."
In The Shit Mystery, he gives a scientific explanation of how defecation works, with lots of technical terms... while his attempt at 3D animation plays in the background. It looks like it was made in 5 minutes in Blender.
In his Zoo Tycoon video, he made this acronym as a helicopter took one of his gazelles away: "November. India. Papa. Papa. Lima. Echo. Sierra."
He changed the name of his zoo from "Grasslands Zoo" to "Fisting Festival" in order to makes customers feel welcome.
He keeps ignoring (or maybe not even noticing) the alerts telling him that the peafowls are drowning or that animals are starving.
"Nothing says quality zookeeping like a good old-fashioned peafowl mauling."
He put the zoo's bathroom on top of a mountain surrounded by guardian tigers, and dumps a man in a pit of forty tigers because he disliked the zoo. His attempts to kill as many human patrons as possible (or at least make their visit very difficult) are pretty funny in general.
He zoomed into first person view, the result being absolute pandemonium.
"If this doesn't elicit piss from your nostrils, nothing will!"
Saying that he has never been so happy when he beat Oregon Trail, while still staying absolutely deadpan.
His names for his party in all of the videos:
SHIT IS ON THE NIPPLE
The Full Power Of Titties
Cows Can Touch Ass Cheeks
When Shitting Tell Asshole ThankYou
Smell What The Rock Cooks
Nipple Titties The Final Frontier note the names of his party in Organ Trail, a Zombie Apocalypse spin-off
His gravestones' epitaphs: "HERE LIES SHIT"
Him not buying clothes for his party because he "wants everyone naked".
His reasons for buying bullets, including defense against hordes of zombies and games of Russian Roulette with the family.
His reaction to one of his party members drowning in a river less than 4 feet deep.
The conclusion he jumped to after one of his party members contracted measles and one of his oxen was injured in the span of one night.
His wondering how a thief could have stolen nine oxen in the middle of the night.
The jobs he gives his oxen, including medical duty, street racing, fighting in UFOC (Ultimate Fighting Oxen Championships) matches, hoof-to-hoof combat, and even reviving dead party members.
""Is has measles." I can't tell if that's a statement or if it's telling me my party member already has measles. "One of the oxen is injured." What thefuckhappened last night?!"
One particular part in Organ Trail:
Text box: Titties turned suddenly and bit Frontier! You had to kill Titties.
"Just walk on the stilts! Use the stilts! Be one with the stilts! You are the stilts! Feel the stilts! Have sex with the stilts, Oswald!"
In his video of the original Surgeon Simulator 2013, Critikal uses the hammer to break open the ribcage and sends bones AND the lungs flying, causing him to cry out "Oh, what the fuck? Happy birthday!"
While playing Babysitter Bloodbath,at 5:55, Cr1tikal actually laughs when a guy tells him he's been drinking liquor and tipping cows. The comments section exploded, with everyone freaking out about Cr1tikal's laughter.
The first line of his Winnie Home Run Derby commentary: "What's up, everybody, it's Critikal. I'm playing Winnie Home Run Derby: Legend of the Fuck Owl."
His reaction to hitting a foul ball: "OHHH! Everyone's fucking!"
"Most owls can turn their heads 270 degrees in both directions. This owl can fuck itself in all directions."
"For what reason are you an owl? And why have you decided to take up baseball as a hobby? This owl needs some toilet paper, because it's a dirty asshole."
"This owl just doesn't have feathers, it's made out of asscheeks. It has asscheeks for feathers."
His frigging terriblegameplay of Touhou: Mountain of Faith is absolutely hilarious. Taken into the fact he's never played Touhou yet decided to pick the Lunatic difficulty for his first time.
Also doubles as a Moment of Awesome as he got pretty far without once pressing the shift key.
In his Orion commentary, when a group of dinosaurs are attacking him, he says, "Oh, damn it, Team Rocket's taking it to me!"
He runs into a dinosaur with a vehicle and sends it sailing up into the sky. It's pretty clear he wasn't expecting that to happen.
"Oh. Wow. Welcome to the cosmos, dinosaur."
"You're going to sit there with socks on your feet and tell me I ran all this way to not even be able to stand on a simple appliance?"
His commentary on the DarkSouls series. In the first one, he tells his story of how Nintendo Hardbuying the actual game was.
From his Mr. President commentary, his "playing street hockey" with the murdered President's body.
"Oh...I guess I'm his new briefcase."
"Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement: That was not the President. I'm the President. TALLY HO!" (leaps into the crowd)
Whitney Houston's I Will Always Love You playing whenever the Secret Service character attempts a Diving Save.
In his Burger Making commentary, he makes every single order he's given absolutely wrong, and then gets offended when the customer is angry. "Tell me how delicious that burger is, Wally! ...You're an asshole, Wally."
"Miss Penny will be a little scared at first, but then she'll realize the burger just wants a hug, she'll give it a hug, and then the burger fingers her. It's the perfect plan."
His complete irrational hatred of Chuck. All of it.
How he attempts to seduce Miss Prudence with a burger. At first, he puts all of the right ingredients on her burger, and you think it'll be the first one he's done right in the whole video. But before he puts the bun on, he piles on an absolute mountain of "his semen" (mayo).
In his IWBTG commentary, his reaction when an apple flies up off a tree and kills him: "Why the fuck are the apples not bound by gravity? No apple falls from a tree going up! I'm sitting here abiding by the laws of gravity like an asshole, but these apples can defy it whenever they want to?"
Goat!Critikal runs for reelection as mayor and does a stage dive.
After falling off a tower: "Fuck me, shove a candy cane down my dickhole, damn it!"
"The second I reenter reality, I'm coming back to that fighting ring and I'm taking you to lunch!"
His reactions to being constantly flung up into the air. "No. No, no. Honey Nut Cheeri-No's!"
He predicts that our world will devolve into a dystopia in the future if we don't allow goats to participate in our sporting events.
Cr1tikal plays Purin to Ofuro and, slight creepiness of the game aside, has a blast slapping a girl named Purin about while she slaps back.
"Holy shit, she is just delivering my pizza right now, fuck!"
*camera moves down to show the player character's headless shadow* "This is exactly what I thought I was when I entered the bathtub. A floating headless torso. Who else would you wanna be in the bathtub with you at the same time? I mean just look at this, this is clearly Washington Irving's first draft of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow I mean that's what this game is based on obviously."
"It seems you forgot to add soap to your bath experience! Allow me to...slap your titties until they produce milk and thus artificial bubbles! Why are you not lactating yet, I just gave your titties the one-two-slapperoo!"
"You have the audacity to tell me that this is "EASY TO UNDERSTAND" when I'm over here decoding hieroglyphics trying to figure out what the FUCK these characters are saying to me in thier cryptic, disruptive language. They're missing W's, they're missing G's, they're missing grammer; and you're going to tell me it's fucking "EASY TO UNDERSTAND"? You sit there on your high horse and tell me it's "EASY TO UNDERSTAND" you can go right the fuck ahead and shit in my rectum, if that's what you're trying to do."
From Octodad - "That's a nice position, looks like I'm about to get a blowjob from a stegosaurus."
"I think they're the most disgusting, awful, revolting, repulsive, putrid, rancid, hopeless, meaningless, careless, pointless, useless, nippleless, wiener-fondling, fart-inducing, shit-producing sacks of filth this world can offer."
Critikal!Pronin arguing with the sex hotline operator.
"Anytime, Mr. President. Look, feel free to contact me whenever about whatever. You want me to do magic at a birthday party? Alakazam, I'm right there fucking your wife."
Critikal!Pronin's accordion performance.
(tears accordion in half) Fuckin' nailed it.
"Why are the New York Yankees stealing statues?"
"You answer Pronin when Pronin speaks to you!"(walks off in a tutu) "You don't answer my questions, I steal your clothes. I'm a gorgeous ballerina." (walks onstage during the ballet) "Rub your nipples on my cock, you fucking amateurs! Get out of the way, I'm Captain Pronin!"
"Don't blow your load yet, Chef Boyardee, I got more for you."
"Sorry, honey, the President wants to do Jello shots off my nipples."
He wasn't the best father but I always looked up to him because he was 8 feet tall.
"Do you like nature? Well, that's too fuckin' bad, here's a bear. You're watching Cobmecthoe...Npean...partine and some Russian shit."
Cr1tikal shows up in an episode ofPlanet Dolan. He has his introduction interrupted by a cough.
In his Emily Wants To Play video, Cr1tikal gets bored of the game and decides to play his ukelele. Then the lights go out and Cr1t drops his ukelele trying to reach for the mouse.
"You bent me over, and handled me like a man, but you didn't come inside me, you came in my haaaaaaaaaand, yeah, you- [giggling] oh shit, oh fuck, fuck [ukelele falls], okay, well, yes, yep- just dropped the ukelele lunging for the mouse- [doll kills the player character] Perfect, yep. That was ten minutes well spent and I probably just busted this fucking ukelele. That's... now we're feeling it.
Cr1TiKaL and his good friend Kaya decide to watch some wrestling. Throughout the video, especially when New Jack gets the upper hand against Gypsy Joe, Cr1TiKaL, who is known for being The Stoic and a Deadpan Snarker, absolutely breaks down laughingmultiple times.
Two words:Sad Fish. It features Cr1TiKaL making fun of depressed-looking fish, especially the frogfish.
The plot. A vitamin C monster has kidnapped a baby and will only give him up if he's brought an orange. Yusuke concludes that the best place to find an orange is in Hell.
While running towards the main villain's lair, Kuwabara is grabbed by the leg by a hand emerging from the ground and trips over, remarking that it's a nasty handjob. Immediately afterwards, a mook with a photoshopped demon face and nightmarish voice goes over the sheer torment that he will inflict on Yusuke and company for a full minute, after which Yusuke and Kuwabara decide to, in their own words, run like little bitches.
The ending. Yusuke is unsure of what to do next, with Kuwabara suggesting he come to his bar mitzvah. Suddenly, all characters in the shot are shown wearing yarmulkes. Then the camera pans out to show the Earth itself wearing one.
What Cow Man (and by extension, some of the Frasers) does for most of the match is basically glitch all across the elimination chamber, for unexplained reasons. Plus, Cow Man is also the second person to get pin falled, moments after Classic Fraser. Which is hardly surprising, considering who he is.
Every goddamn frame of his Enviro Bear 2000gameplay...or rather his gameplay of a bear driving sim. To elaborate, the former half has him accidentally throw his clock away, but is still able to hibernate before winter - and later on, a large rock presses down on the bear's gas pedal, perpetually ramming him into a larger rock. Plus, the entirety of the latter half has the bear's car progressively become filled to the absolute brim with random objects like pine cones, leaves, rocks, fish, berries, bees and at one point a badger. Cr1T also focuses on ramming into the A.I. opponents, and in the end is still able to complete the level with only just a few seconds left!
"And my passenger seat is filled to the bitch with scrotum tickling accessories."
His attempted playthrough of Battletoads, which is basically just him trying to complete Turbo Tunnel for 8 minutes while also mistaking his character as a frog, only realizing that he's a toad almost 7 minutes into the video.
"Show them what you're workin' with, Mr. Frog, yeeeeaah... (dies) ...you anus..."
Tiana voicing her hopes on Ourvork winning in a 8-way Battle Royale match. Only moments after, he's the first to be thrown out of the ring.
Optimus Prime's continuous No Holds Barred Beatdowns towards Super Snorkler, to the point where Charlie states just how much Prime hates the Snorkler.
Cow Man thwarting Ourvork's pin on Beef...the latter immediately responding by trying to attack Cow Man, who punches him right in the face. And then Ourvork shoves Cow Man right off the ring.
"Oh, by God, Cow Man again is cheating! Jesus motherfucking Christ!"
Cow Man randomly punching Fetishimo in the face, despite the latter not even being tagged in.
Pretty much the majority of the 8-man tag team match, especially the climax: after Cow Man thwarts Optimus' pin on Beef, an enraged Prime tosses Cow Man into the corner of the ring, before throwing Beef in the same corner, and then the unthinkable occurs. Due to a brutal Game Breaking Glitch, Optimus finds himself in the corner as well, engaging in a position that can only be described as a turnbuckle threeway. When the creation of the "peanut butter and fuck sandwich" has ended, the scene seems to have affected the rest of the fighters, with them continuously entering and exiting the ring and their tag positions, and some even just wandering aimlessly...and Cow Man? He remains in the corner of the ring for the rest of the match, completely unmoving and presumably Died Standing Up. Or, in Charlie's words: "Cow Man's spine has literally been severed". Even the referee is also affected, perpetually staring off into space or right at Cow Man directly unless a pin is being performed. In the end, the new characters manage to best the OG squad, Trix doing the pin on Beef.
The last match of the stream ends with the game finally giving up the ghost and crashing. Charlie assumes that it was because the game couldn't handle any more of Cow Man's relentlessness, which technically means that Cow Man has earned a long sought for victory after everyone elsenote sans Super Snorkler won before him.
Cr1TiKaL trolling his teammates while playing Last Year: The Nightmare by refusing to rescue them from closets unless they meet his demands - such as doing an impression of Heath Ledger's Joker from The Dark Knight, or answering trivia questions.
While playing Fear of Nightmares, he gets killed by a jumpscare consisting of a werewolf flying at him while making a loud screeching. He then (in his standard monotone) states this was the first jumpscare to ever startle him. The rest of the video is him describing how angry he is that a "bottom of the nutsack barrel" jumpscare actually scared him.
The entirety of 2019 Guy. Intentionally sung in the style of a particularly angsty and pretentious early 2000s band.