The Crystal Maze is a British Game Show that originally ran from 1990 to 1995, initially hosted by Richard O'Brien and later by Edward Tudor-Pole, and produced by Treasure Hunt and Fort Boyard creator Jacques Antoine. (Channel 4 originally wanted Fort Boyard, but couldn't get at the fort itself as the French series was massively popular at the time.)
Each week, six contestants would have to complete a series of challenges in four adventure zones (originally Industrial, Futuristic, Aztec and Medieval. In the fourth series, Ocean replaced Industrial). Completing these challenges would mean receiving a time crystal. If contestants failed to leave the room (crystal or not) before time ran out, or broke certain rules in some games, they were locked in and could only be released in exchange for a crystal.
The final part was always the Crystal Dome, where contestants would have a certain amount of time (determined by how many crystals won - 5 seconds per crystal) to collect gold tokens* blown about by a big fan. Silver tokens were also present and these would result in a deduction from a score (which could - and often did - lead to a negative total score). If they got 100 or more after deductions, they would win prizes: usually adventure holidays in B-level British resort towns.
Most of the show's appeal came from the wonderfully eccentric Richard O'Brien (of The Rocky Horror Picture Show fame) and the way he would present the show: his manic, restless behaviour; his razor-sharp put-downs of (frankly bad) team performances; and how he would always play that damn harmonica at the most inappropriate and distracting times. Edward Tudor-Pole never had a chance. It also became common for the viewer base to start shouting at the screen at the contestants when they missed the very obvious solutions. (Extracts from the show's blooper reel that have been leaked onto YouTube reveal that, in the privacy of the technical gallery, the show's director did it too.)
Although it wasn't very apparent to the viewer most of the show was in fact fixed: for example, it was the production staff, not the Captain, that decided what games to play (Physical, Mental, Skill or Mystery), and was in fact decided well in advance of the show. Although on screen it looks instantaneous there was also a significant length of time between a contestant entering a puzzle room and actually playing it, sometimes in the region of 15 minutes. This was so the crew could set up equipment such as cameras and in some instances actually reset the game if the player in question mucks up too badly in order to keep it interesting to the viewer. A far more in-depth list can be found on the other Wiki.
There were also Spin-Off Gamebooks, set in a more elaborate version of the Maze: The Crystal Maze Adventure Gamebook by Dave Morris and Jamie Thompson aimed at teens and adults, in which the more "realistic" maze was justified by it being set a hundred years in the future, with advanced holographics and robotics (including the robot host ROB); and four targeted at younger readers (The Crystal Thief, Tea at Rick's, The Sacred Necklace and Phantom in the Tower all by Peter Arnold), which just Handwaved it.
The show remains a classic and repeats are still shown in syndication. In particular, it was and remains very popular amongst University Students, though there have been no DVD releases as yet. In 2015, it was announced that a "live immersive experience" in central London with Richard O'Brien's involvement would launch funding through IndieGoGo, which eventually opened in March 2016. Later that year, alongside a second live venue in Manchester being announced, a one-off Celebrity Edition Revival was shown on Channel 4, this time with Stephen Merchant as the host, raising money for the charity Stand Up To Cancer.
Due to the popularity of the "Crystal Maze Experience" and the celebrity revival, Channel 4 commissioned a brand new series to be hosted by Richard Ayoade and broadcast in 2017, including a number of celebrity specials. Changes to the revival include the change from six random contestants to a group of five acquaintances, the return of the Industrial zone, and redesigns to the Future zone and the Crystal Dome. Medieval Zone was ditched in 2019 in favour of the new Eastern Zone, meaning that only Future and Aztec have been ever-present now. This revival ended in 2020, after 45 episodes spread across three series.
A U.S. version premiered on Nickelodeon in January 2020, hosted by Adam Conover (of Adam Ruins Everything fame). This version whilst also filmed on the UK set this time features teams of families, with the youngest family member being the team captain. Only one season of 10 episodes was made; despite being renewed for a second season in February 2020, the COVID-19 Pandemic went into full-swing almost immediately after, making filming the show unfeasible. While it's not confirmed to be cancelled, the ongoing effects of Covid and the cancellation of the UK version make it highly unlikely Americans will return to the maze anytime soon.
This show contains examples of:
- Apothecary Alligator: A Mystery Room in the medieval zone is dressed as an alchemist's laboratory, complete with stuffed crocodile (with a clue in its mouth).
- Art Evolution: The American version has one on the 2017 British version with clearly a larger CGI budget spent on the opening credits, zone maps and the Motion Capture game in the Futuristic zone.
- Artsy Beret: In the first episode of Series 3, Richard O'Brien indicates a picture he is painting, and is then incandescent with rage and sorrow when his beret is missing. It turns out Auntie Sabrina just washed it and put it in his bedroom.
- Aside Comment: The crux of Richard O'Brien's awesomeness. Carried on by Ayoade to just as great effect.O'Brien: Now children, if you're playing with nuclear waste, be very very careful. It is dangerous, so I suggest you don't do it. You see, there are advantages and disadvantages. The disadvantage of playing with nuclear waste is that you're gonna die. The advantage is you'll be very easy to find in the dark.
- Bamboo Technology: A feature of the Aztec Zone, with many of the games having elaborate bamboo mechanisms to release the crystal.
- Beehive Hairdo: In Series 3, Auntie Sabrina has a beehive hairdo, as well as other bad fashion tastes.
- Beeping Computers: Lots of the devices in the Futuristic Zone beep. There is a code entered on a beeping keypad to open each door, although this seems to serve no purpose; a "bomb defusing" game has a background beeping, which becomes more urgent and high-pitched as the time runs out, and Richard O'Brien also runs a beeping radiation detector over a contestant who has been dealing with nuclear waste.
- Berserk Button:
- Don't tell the contestant "You've got plenty of time", or Richard O'Brien will get very annoyed.
- In the case of Richard Ayoade, don't try to walk out of the Futuristic doors without him opening them (it's his job to do that) and don't try to hug him (he'll accuse you of assault).
- For Mumsie, it's touching her crystal before she gives it to you during her challenge. She called one contestant a twit because of it.
- Big "SHUT UP!": A feature of this show is the team yelling all at once, as they try to help their teammate. One woman replied "Please, can you just shut up for two seconds..."
- Boredom Montage: When the team had to decide whether to buy out contestants who were locked in, there would usually be a shot of the imprisoned contestants looking bored. One such contestant was seen playing a solitaire game with a pack of cards he'd found in the room.
- Borrowed Biometric Bypass: In Series 5, the contestant had to place a dead man's hand on a palm reader to open a safe, in a murder mystery game.
- Breaking the Fourth Wall: Only the presenter would do this. The contestants never did, with one exception: when asking guardians in the Aztec zone "Guardian, where is the crystal?", sometimes they were filmed looking directly into the camera.
- Busman's Holiday: Richard sometimes alluded to this if a contestant played a game particularly appropriate to their day job, notably when a fireman made very heavy weather of a game involving ropes and ladders.O'Brien: This is the pride of the fire service? I hope he doesn't bring a ladder round to my house, especially if I'm in the attic screaming "Help! Help!"
- The Cameo:
- Richard O'Brien and Mumsey make an appearance at the beginning of the 1993 Christmas Episode to explain their departure before Ed's takeover as host.
- Richard O'Brien makes a second cameo in the 2016 revival through a computer screen, telling Stephen not to mess the job up and that the guy who played Doctor Who would have made a better host.*
- The 2018 celebrity special has appearances by Alison Steadman (as the Fairy Godmumsie) and Pearl Mackie (as Sleeping Beauty).
- Camera Abuse: The show often contains unusual shots, such as the contentants' running feet, filmed from near the floor. In one such moment, it looks as if they are running towards the camera, before jumping over it. In series 1, there is a moment when a contestant makes a dash for the door to escape an exploding room, and just fails to escape: to film this, he must have thrown himself at the camera.
- Captain Obvious: Most of the team "advice" during certain games. Not that the obvious advice was necessarily unhelpful to their teammates...
- Traditionally "This is a two/two and a half/three minute game from the very second I close the door...", but in the case of the revival abbreviated to "mins" by Ayoade.
- In the original series "Will you start the fans, PLEASE!" for Richard O'Brien (which has since been revived post-2016), "Let the four winds blow!" or similar for Ed* - both just before the Crystal Dome task.
- Ed Tudor-Pole would normally close off by telling the audience to "Keep on rocking!" while Richard Ayoade signed off with "Thank you for watching, if indeed you still are. Farewell!"
- Subverted for a while by Richard O'Brien who decided to make "Go for it!" his catchphrase, but whenever he used it would shortly after go off on a monologue explaining to the audience that he had decided to make "Go for it!" his catchphrase. However, in Series 4 he started disliking the phrase, and threatened to sanction contestants who used it, notably to one contestant also called Richard:O'Brien: Did I hear a "go for it"? That's a yellow card.
Team captain: Well, as Richard's punishment for saying "go for it", he's gonna do a game, and it's going to be a physical one!
O'Brien: I've got one that's 'deserving'; this one's evil. In fact, I'm going to withdraw the yellow card, because there's every likelihood of you being locked in here.
- With Richard Ayoade we have "Follow the Hand", "You will look slightly different in the next shot" (see Lampshade Hanging) and "This is an ALIS, an Automatic Lock-In Situation".
- Adam Conover on the US version gave us "You may now! Enter! THE GAME!"
- Celebrity Edition: The show was brought back as a one-off edition in 2016 which rated well enough to bring the show back in 2017. The new series has started with a group of celebrity editions before reverting back to civilian editions.
- Cheaters Never Prosper: Kind of averted. Contestants who managed to get a crystal in a method other than the one the game intended were usually allowed to keep it. On the other hand, they'd usually misunderstood the game, rather than strictly speaking cheated. Examples include:
- The infamous contestant who spent half his time messing about with the plastic skeleton prop that was only there for decoration won by simply dragging the chest containing the crystal along the ground instead of using the wooden rollers like he was supposed to.
- Another challenge involved putting four weights of different values on four pressure points; however, there weren't enough weights for each pad. The solution was to place a metal bar across two pressure pads and then place the "2" on it. One child contestant just stood on the final pressure point; when the crystal vanished after he stood off the pad to grab it, he just moved it closer. O'Brien pointed out how he didn't really play it properly but decided to let him keep the crystal anyway.
- One contestant had to shovel sand into one end of a see-saw so there would be enough weight to counter-balance him, so he could reach up and grab the crystal on a platform. He just knocked the crystal off with the shovel.
- In the first series, one challenge involved finding the crystal in one of twelve cells, having to get between them by climbing ropes or ladders. Richard O'Brien would always say "Ropes and ladders only!", but never penalised the contestants who took a shortcut by clambering across the top of the frame.
- Played straight with a contestant who wasted upwards of twenty seconds just trying to break his way into the cage containing the crystal. Had he just played the game properly, he would have won the crystal with time to spare. Instead, he got locked in.
- Christmas Episode: Between seasons there were Christmas specials with child contestants. In one special, the children pulled crackers, which only contained dead mice and insects, causing Richard to be berated by Mumsey.O'Brien: I bought the crackers in good faith!
Mumsey: You should have bought them in Harrods.
- Color-Coded for Your Convenience: The contestants would wear uniforms which were different colours, but otherwise identical. The colours were never mentioned on-screen, although a former contestant reports that they were mentioned a lot by the production staff. The zones appeared in different colours on the map, and colour was important in many of the games.Richard O'Brien: Yellow is your clue, a very strong clue. Do a Dorothy. Follow the Yellow Brick Road.
- Comically Missing the Point:
- On more than one occasion, a contestant completely fails to understand their task, leading O'Brien to helpfully offer advice on what to do. When they still don't get it, O'Brien will offer the advice again... and again... and again. He's clearly getting irritated at these utter morons! One episode had a contestant simply stand there with a dumbfounded look for the entire 3 minutes.
- On some occasions Richard O'Brien would get so infuriated by the incompetence he'd storm in to actually show them what to do like it was just that simple (and it usually was) once he had let them out.
- Comedic Spanking: Richard tells a contestant "this game is so easy, I'll smack your bottie if you don't get this," and indeed, the contestant fails. In the same series, Richard is seen smacking a contestant's hand in the title sequence. Ed carries a riding crop, and once jokingly tells a woman to bend over.
- Compartment Shot: This often happens when the contestant opens the safe or other receptacle containing the crystal. During one of the kids' specials, the boy opens a safe containing the crystal; he then sees the safe is full of money, and grabs some as well.
- The Computer Is Your Friend: A talking computer lived in the Futuristic zone, with whom Richard or Ed would frequently talk. Sometimes the computer was male, and sometimes it was female, and known as "Barbara".Ed: Hello, will you go out with me?
Barbara the computer: Not until you get a haircut!
Ed: (crestfallen, to himself) What sort of haircut does a twenty-fourth century computer favour?
- Consolation Prize: Regardless of the result in the Crystal Dome, the contestants always got their own crystal as a consolation prize.
- Container Maze: One game in series 6 was a maze of stacked barrels, through which the container had to carry a small barrel on a long chain, which would only fit through the right gaps in the stacked barrels.
- Creepy Old-Fashioned Diving Suit: In the fourth series, one game in Ocean World involves the contestant having to enter a "submersible" in a darkened room, and rescue the crystal from a deep-sea cage. The cage also contains a dead diver in an old-fashioned suit, which adds to the creepiness of the game, as the contestant must also avoid bumping their submersible into two sharks circulating the room.
- Cuckoo Clock Gag: A puzzle on was that after doing a jigsaw of a cuckoo, the player then had to find the crystal behind the little door on a cuckoo clock in the room.
- Department of Redundancy Department:
- Contestants would often say "I'm in a room..." when they first entered the room. (They were instructed to describe what was in the room.)
- Richard O'Brien once lampshaded the team constantly saying the name of the person doing the challenge.Team: Come on, Adrian! Come on, Adrian! Come on, Adrian!
Richard: Do you think his name's Adrian?
- The Ditz:
- On occasion, if you listen closely, you can hear members of the team saying the same thing about their own team-mates. This usually happens after a very simple puzzle has been bungled up by the contestant himself or the oft-unreliable help from his other team-mates. Of course, by nature The Crystal Maze is a very frustrating game...
- Particular note goes to idiots that get locked in rooms where the nature of the room and challenge gives them unobstructed access to the door, such as the mini-crossbow game or the letter slider game, where they could get out of the room in 2 seconds or less. Particularly egregious when they run it down to the last possible second despite being clearly nowhere close to getting the crystal.
- In the first series, a contestant had to crawl through a maze to get the crystal which was sitting in front of a mirror. Upon reaching the crystal, the contestant tried to grab the reflection. Upon failing, the contestant immediately gave up on the crystal sitting in front of him and headed back to the exit where Richard and his teammates, who assumed he'd grabbed it.
- Door Slam of Rage: In Series 3, Richard O'Brien has an angry outburst about his artist's beret going missing, and furiously slams his paint box shut, making a crash which echoes around the Medieval Zone. Sometimes he slams a door particularly dramatically when a contestant is locked in.
- Dreadful Musician: Richard would frequently play his harmonica, usually the same tune. He would also play other instruments in the Medieval zone, including an electric guitar, and a piano.O'Brien: I went to the Les Dawson school of music.
- False Teeth Tomfoolery: When a contestant in series 4 falls headlong into the Aztec river, Richard improvises "Did you see my false teeth I dropped down there last week?".
- Fashion Dissonance: The perms, mullets, and toupees sported by so many of the contestants certainly were a product of the time. Some contestants wore over-sized spectacles.
- 15 Puzzle: At least once per series, usually a giant-sized version. The first two series featured a 5 x 5 version, which was never completed, except on one occasion in thirty seconds, by fluke. The third series had a variation in which the crystal was in the middle, and the goal was to get the middle square vacant, with four black pieces around it.
- Fish-Eye Lens: When Richard was viewed through the computer in the Futuristic Zone, he would sometimes appear as if through a fish-eye lens.
- For Doom the Bell Tolls: The very first automatic lock-in game consists of a giant spider web, with very large hanging bells. The contestant has to climb this web without ringing the bells; if they did this three times, they were locked in. The tension is palpable while this game is being played.
- Fortune Teller: One of the inhabitants of the Medieval Zone was a stereotypical fortune teller who asked quiz questions and handed over a crystal (which was hidden in the base of her crystal ball) if the contestant answered correctly. O'Brien would provide the contestant with silver coins to cross her palm with. The fortune teller is his in-show mother, 'Mumsey', something that O'Brien made up on the spot during a first-series episode and it stuck. In Series 3, 'Mumsey' was replaced by 'Auntie Sabrina' - which was strange, because they were both played by Sandra Caron (possibly it was just an elaborate excuse to change her costume, as the characters did dress differently). 'Mumsey' returns in Series 4, announcing her arrival back in the Christmas Episode which kickstarts said series.
- Genki Girl: The entire "Cheerleaders" team in the 2017 series. Likewise "The London Girls" in the 2018 series.
- The Ghost: Richard frequently called out to Ralph the butler, who was never seen. He also made phone calls to Duane, Mumsey's lover in Series 4.O'Brien: Ralph!! Ralph!! Ralph!! (wanders round a corner) Oops! Sorry Mumsey, Sorry Ralph. Ralph was helping Mumsey with her aerobics; at least I think that's what they were doing.
- Golden Snitch:
O'Brien: I'm not going to wish you luck, it's a complete waste of time!
- Ultimately, the number of crystals gathered meant nothing if the team gather too many (negative-scoring) silver tokens in the final stage. And they frequently did. (In theory, they could have used the extra time to check for silver tokens instead of just shoving in as many as possible, but apparently no-one ever thought of that.)
- Conversely... One Crystal + Crystal Dome = Epic Fail. It actually happened twice.
- In one Ayoade episode, the team had NO crystals, the only way to top the above.
- Hates Being Touched:
- Richard Ayoade keeps the Hand (a hand on a stick) with him to hold contestant hands because he doesn't like touching people. Any attempt of hugging will hit Ayoade's Berserk Button, accusing the contestant of assault.
- Inverted with his American counterpart, Adam Conover, who as well as having no qualms touching contestants, decides to initiate a Group Hug with the team at end of his first episode!
- Hooking the Keys: In the game "Key Collection", contestants must use a hook on the end of a long pole to collect keys through a grill, and then find the correct key to open a chest.
- Impossibly Tacky Clothes:
- Mr O'Brien dresses like a fashion designer, that is to say like a man who knows nothing about style.
- Not to mention the team uniforms.
- Ed, on the other hand, wears his "scruffy dandy" look remarkably well.
- The 2017 revival is no different with the team uniforms and Richard Ayoade's suits looking just as tacky.
- Jingle the Coins: During a game where a contestant must stuff handfuls of money into the mouth of a statue, Richard O'Brien says "I can hear the sound of money, a bit like mummy's bedroom, late at night".
- Large Ham: Richard O'Brien. Ed Tudor Pole tries to go one up, but doesn't quite make it.
- Lampshade Hanging: Rather than showing the contestant put on safety helmets and knee pads for physical rounds like in the original run, the revival edits them out with Ayoade fully aware of it.Ayoade: You will look slightly different in the next shot. Don't worry, it's editing.
- Laser Hallway: Sometimes appeared as a challenge in the Futuristic Zone. The original series used tripwires as they probably didn't have the budget for real lasers, but the revival is going for the real deal this time round.
- Linked List Clue Methodology: A lot of the games had a dash of this, but particularly one of the most iconic games, the 'Murder Mystery' where a trail of clues would lead around a messy room (which also had a dead body in it because reasons) to the crystal. These games were so popular a different incarnation was done in each series. Series 5 acquired an actor playing the dead man, rather than a dummy.
- The Load: Many an episode included a member who didn't win any of their games, or even cost the team a crystal to spring them from lock-in.
- Loophole Abuse:
- It wasn't unknown for contestants to obtain their crystals in ways they weren't really supposed to.
- Suggested by David Coulthard in the 2017 celebrity specials when he advises another contestant that he use a hammer to break a Perspex shield when he is actually supposed to use an Allen key, leading Richard Ayoade to tell him he's not in Scotland. Coulthard also suggests a Groin Attack on a guard in the Medieval zone... this is not carried out.
- Losing Your Head: In the revival, riddles are asked by "Jarhead" (Adam Buxton), a head in a jar who's been present in the Futuristic, Mediæval and Eastern zones.
- Mayincatec: The Aztec Zone.
- Magic Kiss: Played with in one game in Series 1: the contestant had to find their way through a maze of mirrors and glass, and kiss a sleeping princess (actually the producer's daughter), to win the crystal. Only the male contestants were selected for this game. The outtakes video shows one contestant having to do lots of takes of this, because her crown kept falling down. Another contestant tried to kiss her through a pane of glass, prompting his team to ask "did that work?".
- Magic Potion: One game in the Medieval Zone in Series 4 required the contestant to mix four potion ingredients in a cauldron, out of which the crystal would rise. The real challenge was that the ingredients were on shelves protected by rotating blades, in glass phials which had to be reached with a grabber. If a contestant dropped three bottles, they were locked in.
- Menacing Hand Shot: Downplayed in that occasionally, Richard's hand is seen ready to lock somebody in, while counting down towards the end of the game.
- Messy Hair: Ed Tudor Pole.
- Mineral MacGuffin: The Time Crystals, which grants the team 5 seconds in the Crystal Dome, or can be used to buy out a locked in contestant.
- Motion Capture: One of the games in the 2019 series now involves a contestant being mocapped in a white room whilst the rest of the team guides the contestant's digital avatar through obstacles (not too dissimilar to Knightmare) to get the crystal.
- Mugshot Montage: From the second series onwards, each contestant is introduced with a monochrome mugshot, showing them in full face, and in profile.
- No Indoor Voice: Gemma Collins in a 2019 celebrity special, which only prompted Ayoade to constantly mock it throughout the episode.Ayoade: You're watching this at home, so you can control the volume. I'm here. I'm frickin' here.
- Offscreen Crash: At least once in the 2020 US version, Adam Conover tosses a crystal out of frame, apparently hitting a cat. Richard often throws away his hat, and in one case we hear smashing glass.
- Only Smart People May Pass: Although the audience might have argued that it was more like "Only a complete idiot cannot pass".
- Our Graphics Will Suck in the Future: In the early series, the map of the Maze, based on James Dillon's hand-drawn design. Whenever the team entered a new zone, the 3D graphic of that zone would rotate on the screen, using 1990s technology. This was upgraded slightly for the later series.
- Pipe Maze: Lots of the games involve elaborate mazes of pipes for water, air, mercury, or toxic waste.Richard: You're not coming to my house to do DIY.
- Pirate Booty: One of the challenges in the Ocean Zone was searching for the key to a treasure chest in a pirate cave, complete with pirate skeleton and stuffed Pirate Parrot."Not the parrot, the pirate!"
- Plunger Detonator: One game in the Aztec Zone required the contestant to fish plunger handles from a river using a fishing rod, before using them to detonate the entrance to a mine shaft.
- P.O.V. Cam: There were often shots seen from the contestant's view, such as when crawling through a maze. Cameras would often appear to be inside the equipment as well, showing a crystal rolling along a channel. Cameras were also attached to tools such as metal detectors, or to moving objects, such as moving targets, giving the viewer the sight of the contestant armed with a crossbow.
- Put on a Bus:
- Richard O'Brien, when he left the series. Although the Series 5 Christmas Episode helps to explain the transfer of the ownership to Ed Tudor Pole.
- Due to her being his in-show mother, Mumsey also left at the same time as O'Brien. Mumsey did however return in the 2016 celebrity special (now played by Maureen Lipman) but Word of God said that she would not return for the 2017 revival.
- Quieter Than Silence: In the four zones, there is always a faint background noise, such as birds singing in the Aztec zone; machinery sounds in Industrial; wind blowing in Medieval; a low drone in Futuristic; ship creaking in Ocean. In some very quiet games, such as "no confering" games, or really tense automatic lock-in games, these sounds become much more noticeable. In one game in Medieval, the silence is punctuated by the tolling of a distant bell.
- Rebuilt Set: Avoided with the 2016 special, which was filmed in the live experience site, but the 2017 revival has recreations of the Aztec, Mediæval and Industrial zones from the original plans. The Future Zone and Crystal Dome area were redesigned from scratch. The Dome was now in a separate set as its fans had previously blown sand around in the Aztec Zone.
- Rule of Three:
- Many games require three tasks to be completed to win the crystal.
- Mumsey asks three questions, requiring one correct answer to win the crystal.
- In many automatic lock-in games, the contestant is locked in if they made three mistakes.
- In series 4, Richard O'Brien jokingly made the rule that if he heard "go for it" three times, he would confiscate a crystal.
- Safety Gear Is Cowardly: At least, it was in the series from the 1990s, before health and safety culture became prevalent. Although contestants were given goggles for shooting games, not many games required the contestant to wear safety gear: a notable exception was the three-dimensional maze in series 3, for which the contestant would be kitted up in a hard hat, gloves, elbow and knee pads, which they would put on on-screen. In the later series hosted by Richard Ayoade, safety gear was used far more, and in a gesture of Leaning on the Fourth Wall, Richard would say "we will edit a helmet on to your head when you go through the door".
- Scenery Porn: The Aztec Zone is very beautiful to look at.
- Schmuck Bait: Some games give the contestant the crystal straight away, but they have to complete the game to avoid being locked in.
- In the medieval zone, taking the crystal off a shelf would cause a portcullis to crash down over the door. The contestant then had to build a mechanism to winch it up. Three contestants were locked in this one.
- In the futuristic zone, a screen said "When is a safe not safe? Press B to continue." Pressing B released the crystal, and the message "when you are locked in it". A door would then close, and the contestant had to escape by unlocking a complicated "security safe door".
- A later series saw the "riddle jail" in the medieval zone. The crystal would be in a jail cell; if the contestant entered, a masked jailer would lock them in, and show them riddles on a scroll which had to be answered correctly before they would be released.
- Shout-Out: Richard Ayoade in the third 2017 celebrity special: "I'm recapping. It's a TV trope."
- Singing Telegram: One of the male contestants in series 3 is a singing telegram; Richard sounds surprised by this as he reads out the contestant's occupation.
- Some Dexterity Required: This applies to some devices used by contestants. Remote controlled vehicles often have very sensitive controls, and one game featured a robot, where to operate each control, a gadget had to be guided through a maze to operate a command, such as "raise arm". The robot then moves very slowly and awkwardly.
- Spell My Name with an S: The spelling of Mumsey/Mumsie varied from series to series.
- Staircase Tumble: In the Aztec zone, Richard O'Brien falls up a very short flight of stairs. Later, he plays a screeching note on his harmonica, in honour of the occasion.Richard: It was a cry of pain. You know, I hurt myself when I fell up those stairs, but I kept smiling through the tears. My name is O'Brien.
- Terms of Endangerment: In Series 1, Episode 3, there was one male contestant who was constantly calling his female team mates "darling". He also tried to hug them when they won a crystal: if you look carefully, you can see them brushing him off.
- Thanking the Viewer: Richard Ayoade signs off with "Thank you for watching, if indeed you still are."
- Theme Tune: Much more dramatic than it has any right to be.
- Thing-O-Meter: Series 2 had a meter which showed the number of gold and silver credits posted. It was not calibrated, and probably was not very accurate.
- Timed Mission: Every challenge is 2-3 minutes long. The crystal dome has 5 seconds per crystal earned.
- Time Travel: Some of the challenges seem to take place in a medieval time period, or the future, or something similar...
- Too Dumb to Live: Several contestants failed so miserably one wonders if they understood they were on a game show with a time limit.
- Used Future: The ambience of the Futuristic zone in the original series. The 2017 redesign is Everything Is An I Pod In The Future.
- Voodoo Doll: Used for a throwaway gag in a series 2 episode:O'Brien: Oh look, it's one of Mumsey's pin cushions. Strange thing, she has a thing about pin cushions, and she always makes them in the shape of little people, I can't think why.
- We Have the Keys: In a series 2 episode, Richard O'Brien waits for the team to scale the gates leading into the Industrial Zone, then he unlocks them with the key to let himself in, saying he doesn't know why they bothered climbing over, as he had the key, if only they'd asked.
- Wire Dilemma: Sometimes appeared as a challenge, notably in a burglar alarm game in series 3, where the instructions were "cut the wire coloured the mixture of the other two colours". One game in series 1 did this in reverse: the contestant had to connect wires correctly to stop a bomb going off.
- Who Would Want to Watch Us?: The hosts both moan about the quality of the prizes, the game design, the contestants, the set, just about everything.Ayoade: And thank you for watching, if indeed you still are. Farewell.
- Wizard Workshop: The second series has a wizard's lab for the murder mystery game in the Medieval Zone, with books, scrolls, a bubbling cauldron, glass bottles of coloured liquid, small locking boxes containing ingredients such as coal and gold, a stuffed raven, cobwebs.
- Your Princess Is in Another Castle!: In the fourth series, a game involved creating a chain of words to release a sword from a stone (King Arthur reference). That sword had a crystal as the pommel, but the game had no crystal for the winner. Where is the crystal? In the hand of a suit of armour, possibly worn by a crew member, who is given the crystal-pommel sword by Richard O'Brien.