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Sorting Algorithm Of Mortality / Western Animation

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To use the Sorting Algorithm of Mortality, simply add the Scream Score for each applicable row, then divide by the number of applicable rows (at this point, 13 or fewer). Remember: this is a relative score, so you need at least 3 characters from the same movie or series to establish a baseline. The original article is here. For characters who have already snuffed it, see Sorting Algorithm of Deadness.


Likelihood of death So dead   Average life expectancy   Die? Me? Ha!
Scream Score! 5 4 3 2 1
Age Older and Wiser Parent, Clueless teens Single adult Protagonist teens Child
Sexual Orientation Slut, Bisexual, Innocent Virgin Gay Straight Reluctant Celibate
Love Interests by Genre Rich Bitch, Horror Genre Hooker with a Heart of Gold, Temporary Shallow, Romance show Shrinking Violet Distressed Damsel, Action Series
Role Villain, Faceless Goons, Mooks, Red Shirt, The Mentor , The Big Guy Loners, Plucky Comic Relief, Mauve Shirt, Long-lost Friend, The Smart Guy The Lancer, Hero of Another Story, The Sidekick, The Scrappy Ignored Expert,
Those Two Guys, The Chick, Supporting Protagonist
Hero, Creator's Pet
Race Black, Twofer's, Leomon Mexican Asian Indian/Native American Caucasian or The Same As The Writer
Gender Tough Girl, Ambiguous Gender, Feminine Man Male Token Girl Action Girl, Final Girl
Aesthetics Ugly Fat "Average" Fashionably Scarred The Cutie
Personality Nihilist, Crazy Survivalist, Innocent, Pragmatic Jerk Jock, The Ditz, Insufferable Genius Nerd, Jerk with a Heart of Gold The Captain, The Watson All-Loving Hero, Friend to All Living Things
Flaws Too Dumb to Live, Skeptical, Genre Blind, Dirty Coward, Greedy Fell astray, The Stoner, Butt-Monkey (gritty), Smartass Wears Glasses Crippling Phobia Mentally Handicapped
"Virtues" Holier Than Thou, Curious, Pragmatic, Ambitious Quiet Girls and Quiet Guys Smart, Genre Savvynote  Determinator The Pollyanna, The Fool
Species Robots (non-living), Undead, Snakes, Arthropods Cats, Clones, Mechanical Lifeforms Human, Human Aliens Pretty Aliens Dogs (except in literature) (or Disney)
Occupation Retiring Law Officer, Villain by Default, Happy Family Man, Competent secondary female Military Commander, Anyone Serving Under Him, Hero's Best Friend, Mentor Scientist With Questionable Ethics, Innocent Bystander Adventurer Archaeologist, Teacher Super Hero, Nun
Prognosis You Are Already Dead, Take a Moment to Catch Your Death, Post-Mortem One-Liner, Last Stand Your Days Are Numbered, Pre-Mortem One-Liner, You Shall Not Pass! Prepare to Die, He Didn't Make It, Time Bomb, Pre Ass Kicking One Liner, Jump Scare You Have No Chance to Survive, If My Calculations Are Correct Badass Boast, Million-to-One Chance, Ineffectual Death Threat
Health Chunky Salsa Rule, Incurable Cough of Death Overdrawn at the Blood Bank, Soap Opera Disease I Can Still Fight!, Made of Plasticine, Littlest Cancer Patient Made of Iron, Only a Flesh Wound, Ill Girl Nigh Invulnerable, Healing Factor, Consumption
  5 4 3 2 1
Pool predictions Killed Mid-Sentence Drop A Bridge On Him Sacrificial Lion, Stuffed into the Fridge Sacrificial Lamb, Dead Star Walking Plot Armor, The Worf Effect

Example Cast:

Series or Film NameDescription of who's who and why they're likely to snuff it.

  • Character A:
    • Row 1: Value 5-1
    • Row 2: Value 5-1
    • Row 3: Value 5-1
      • Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun
  • Character B:
    • Row 1: Value 5-1
    • Row 2: Value 5-1
    • Row 3: Value 5-1
      • Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun
  • Character C:
    • Row 1: Value 5-1
    • Row 2: Value 5-1
    • Row 3: Value 5-1
      • Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun

Avatar: The Last Airbender

  • Character A: Toph
    • Row 1: Age: Toph's just a little kid! So, 1.
    • Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Despite that accidental kiss with Suki, Toph is pretty straight, lusting after Sokka a few times. 3.
    • Row 3: Role: Falls anywhere from Loner to Plucky Comic Relief to The Lancer. I suppose I'll go ahead and give her a 3.
    • Row 4: Aesthetics: Katara called her "pretty" once, but as far as looks go, she doesn't compare to the show's more beautiful characters. Her appearance on the whole is pretty average. 3.
    • Advertisement:
    • Row 5: Personality: Starts out rough around the edges, but she's nice overall. Definitely a Jerk with a Heart of Gold. 3.
    • Row 6: Flaws: Well, she's blind. Not Blind Without 'Em, just blind. I suppose that still counts as a 3.
    • Row 7: Virtues: Action Girl all the way. A 2.
      • Total divided by rows: 18/7 = 2.57. Aang's ambiguous vision aside, it looks like Toph's probably safe, though in a show that's as close as an American cartoon can get to Anyone Can Die, she might still get it. Definitely not a foregone conclusion as some would have you believe.

  • Character B: Azula
    • Row 1: Age: A monstrous teen to be sure. 4.
    • Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Depending on what you take "my favorite prisoner" to mean, Azula's either a Psycho Lesbian or simply someone who's bad with boys or hates people too much to love anyone. Hard to place her here, but based on "The Beach", I'll say she's reluctant and give her a 2.
    • Row 3: Role: Villain all the way. 5.
    • Row 4: Virtues: Nothing listed for looks, personality (she's a bitch but not a nihilist) or Flaws that really apply to her, so skipping straight to this one, and giving her Genre Savvy for 3.
    • Row 5: Occupation: Military Commander, sort of. 4.
      • Total divided by rows: 18/5 = 3.6, meaning she's more likely than not to meet a well-deserved end, but there's still a chance for the heroes to spare, or even reform her. Again, Nick's not afraid to bump off adult villains (Zhao) but killing off a 14-year-old girl might be beyond the pale even for them. Jet and Yue were slightly older.
      • Update: Indeed, the heroes have spared her life in the end. No reforming though. It is possible, but it would most likely take an ungodly amount of therapy.

  • Character C: Aang
    • Row 1: Age: Again, he's a little kid. So, 1.
    • Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Straight or Celibate, but most likely straight, as previous Avatar Roku has shown. 3.
    • Row 3: Role: Hero all the way. 1.
    • Row 4: Personality: As Messainic as they come. 1.
    • Row 5: Occupation: Super Hero, big time. 1.
      • Total divided by rows: 7/5 = 1.4. While there's always the chance Mike and Bryan could go for a Matrix-style Messainic sacrifice, I really don't think that would happen to this brave and adorable little guy. Aang's pretty darn close to immortality if you ask me.

  • Character D: Sokka
    • Row 1: Age: Protagonist Teen, so 2.
    • Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Straight, was in love with Princess Yue, kissed Sukki so not quite Reluctant anymore, 3.
    • Row 3: Role: Falls anywhere from Loner to Plucky Comic Relief to The Smart Guy to The Chick. Let's say 4.
    • Row 4: Aesthetics: Not ugly, but he's far from being as good looking as many a minor character, so "Average" for 3.
    • Row 5: Personality: A Deadpan Snarker and comic relif character, which are un-plotted. Still, the funny guy tends to either go first or not at all, so lets be cautious with 3.
    • Row 6: Flaws: He's very skeptical, to the point of almost Arbitrary Skepticism, so that's a 5 right there.
    • Row 7: Virtues: He is Genre Savvy though, so that's a 3.
      • Total divided by rows: 23/7 = 3.28. ... Well, he'll hopefully outlast Azula, but it seems we've found one of the more expendable members of the Gaang.

  • Character E: Zuko
    • Row 1: Age: Protagonist Teen, so 2.
    • Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Straight and in love with Mai, so 3.
    • Row 3: Role: Not quite The Lancer, not quite a Plucky Comic Relief. Split the difference for 3.5
    • Row 4: Aesthetics: Fashionably scarred for 2.
    • Row 5: Personality: Jerk with a Heart of Gold and an atoner, let's say for 3.5.
    • Row 6: Flaws: Very realistic in an idealistic series, so 4.
    • Row 7: Virtues: He is Genre Savvy though, so that's a 3.
      • Total divided by rows: 21/7 = for a clean 3. Seems Redemption Equals Death will be a cloud in Zuko's horizon as part of the Gaang.

  • Character F: Katara
    • Row 1: Age: Definitely a Protagonist Teen. 2.
    • Row 2: Sexual Orientation:She seems... reluctant. 2.
    • Row 3: Role: Since they don't have Team Mom up there, probably The Lancer. 3.
    • Row 4: Aesthetics: Not incredibly one way or the other (sensing a theme here?). 3.
    • Row 5: Personality: Has some elements of Messianic Archetype, so 1.
    • Row 6: Flaws: Has elements of a 5, but those don't last too long, so I'm going with a 4.
    • Row 7: Virtues: Part Action Girl, part Pollyanna. 1.5
      • Total divided by rows: 16.5/7= 2.36. Katara doesn't seem likely to die anytime soon. Note: This is about the only piece of news good for both Zutara and Kataang fans.

  • Answers: Nope, Everybody Lives! However, it does following in the sense: Azula goes crazy, and Sokka and Zuko are the only ones injured.

Darkwing Duck

  • Darkwing Duck
    • Age: Parent - 4
    • Sexual: Straight (He's dating Morgana McCawber.) - 3
    • Role: Hero - 1
    • Gender: Male - 3
    • Personality': Very much a Jerk with a Heart of Gold. - 3
    • Flaws: Takes it on the chin whenever he gets too cocky. — 2
    • Virtues: Very determined. - 2
    • Occupation: Superhero - 1
    • Prognosis: Maybe 2? Villains have said a number of things before trying to kill him.
    • Health: Made of Iron — 2
      • Total: 23/10 = 2.3. It'd probably be closer to a 1. He is The Hero of a Disney series.

  • Launchpad McQuack:
    • Age: Single adult, but some fans debate he could qualify as being Gosalyn's second father - 3.5.
    • Sexual: Straight - 3.
    • Role: A number of these things; let's just say Sidekick. - 3
    • Gender: Male - 3
    • Personality: The Ditz - 4
    • Flaws: Dumb Is Good; he's The Ditz but an extremely good-natured person - 1
    • Virtues: Gentle Giant - 4
    • Occupation: Hero's best friend - 4
    • Prognosis: You Have No Chance to Survive? - 2
    • Health: We'll just say 2. He's never seen registering many signs of injury.

  • Gosalyn Mallard:
    • Age: Kid - 1.
    • Sexual: Uh, she's a kid. We'll say straight, given that most of her Ship Tease is with her male best friend. - 3
    • Role: Um...Lancer - 2.
    • Gender: an Action Girl in training - 1
    • Personality: Bratty Half-Pint, which presumably goes in the same spot as Jerk with a Heart of Gold - 3
    • Flaws: Very smart-alecky - 4
    • Virtues: Curiosity or pragmatism? - 5
    • Occupation: Um, competent secondary female or Lancer? - 5
    • Prognosis: You Have No Chance to Survive? - 2
    • Health: We'll just say Made of Iron. She's virtually never seen injured. - 2
      • Total: 28/10 = 2.8. (Almost average) Not likely. (Kid Hero + Infant Immortality)Appearance in a kid's cartoon series = Next to no chance of being killed off.

  • Honker Muddlefoot:
    • Age: Kid - 1
    • Sexual: He's a kid. We'll say straight, as most of his Ship Tease is with Gosalyn. - 3
    • Role: The Smart Guy - 4
    • Gender: The Feminine Boy to Gosalyn's Masculine Girl. - 4
    • Personality: Shy and smart. Probably closest to Nerd. - 3
    • Flaws: As part of his nerdiness, he wears glasses. - 3
    • Virtues: Definitely smart. - 3
    • Occupation: Um...(Kid) Hero's best friend? - 4
    • Prognosis: Let's go with the same as the others. (He's usually with them.) - 2
    • Health: Um...Made of Iron? (He's certainly been through more than the average child.) - 2
      • Total: 29/10 = 2.9. If he were older, possibly, but I think Infant Immortality counts for enough that he's fairly safe.


  • Character A: Bender
    • Row 1: Age: Single adult. 3.
    • Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Straight. 3.
    • Row 4: Role: Plucky Comedy Relief. 4.
    • Row 6: Aesthetics: Average. 3.
    • Row 7: Personality: Jerk with a Heart of Gold. 3.
    • Row 8: Flaws: Greedy, among other things. 5.
    • Row 10: Species: Robot. 5.
    • Row 11: Occupation: Hero's Friend. 4
      • Total divided by rows: 30/8 = 3.75. Bender is in a bit of trouble, although being in Futurama probably takes some points off.

  • Character B: Leela
    • Row 1: Age: Single adult. 3
    • Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Straight. 3
    • Row 3: Love Interests: Well, she's had a few temporary ones, but there's also Fry... I'll go with temporary. 4
    • Row 4: Role: ???
    • Row 5: Race: Caucasian. 1
    • Row 6: Gender: Action Girl. 1
    • Row 7: Aesthetics: ???
    • Row 8: Personality: ???
    • Row 9: Flaws: ???
    • Row 10: Virtues: Smart. 3
    • Row 11: Species: Human. 3
    • Row 12: Occupation: ???
    • Row 13: Prognosis: N/A
    • Row 14: Health: ???
      • Total divided by rows: 18/7 = 2.57142857143, or 2.6 if you want to be simplistic. Leela probably ain't dying.


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