Stock Aesops

"If you believe in yourself, eat all your school, stay in milk, drink your teeth, don't do sleep, and get 8 hours of drugs, you can get work!"

— Mr. T parody, TV Funhouse

Stock Aesops are the morals that the writers and producers of TV most often love to explore. They sometimes contradict each other, but it's a clumsy writer indeed who sticks two contradictory aesops into the same script, which can either prove them both to be good advice or create a Broken Aesop. When An Aesop contradicts the typical beliefs of society, offends the Moral Guardians, or promotes an "unconventional" belief, it's a Hard Truth Aesop.

Because times change, some older Aesops tend to be seen as Fair For Their Day or Values Dissonance.

On the other hand, if they're treated as profound moral insights, they risk being seen as a Captain Obvious Aesop to the audience.

Many are Older Than Feudalism. And some, indeed, come straight from the original Aesop's Fables.

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Examples:

On Agreement

• Strange Minds Think Alike: Two unlikely people can have the same idea.
• The Foolish Seldom Differ
• Agree to Disagree
• With Us or Against Us: You choose one or the other. There's no middle ground.

On Ambition

• Aspire To Greater Things, and work hard to achieve them
• Living Is More than Surviving: A Man's Reach Should Exceed His Grasp.
• Carpe Diem: Seize the day, for you may not live tomorrow.
• It's the Journey That Counts
• Ambition Is Evil: Unfortunately, that also makes you evil.
• It's Lonely at the Top
• Be Careful What You Wish For: Ya just might get it.
• Sweet and Sour Grapes: Learn to appreciate your situation as it is.
• I Coulda Been a Contender!: the chances you don't take, or don't get to take, are the ones you regret the most

On Appearance, Beauty, and Clothing

• Beauty Is Bad
• Beauty Equals Goodness
• Clothes Make The Man
• Don't Judge a Book by Its Cover
• Evil Is Sexy
• Evil Makes You Ugly
• Good People Dress Modestly
• True Beauty Is on the Inside
• Uncleanliness Is Next to Ungodliness
• Beware the Wolf in Sheep's Clothing
• Beware a Man of Wealth and Taste
• Take Pride In Your Appearance
• Don't Be Vain

On Authority, Government

• Democracy Is Bad
• Democracy Is Flawed
• Trust Authority
• TV Never Lies: Question Authority
• Disobey This Message: We're Telling You, Think For Yourself
• You Cannot Kill An Idea: Stopping the proponent of an idea doesn't necessarily mean that no one else will follow the idea's principles.
• It's My Country, Right or Wrong
• War crimes are bad, even if you were Just Following Orders.
• Rousseau Was Right: There is good in humanity.
• Hobbes Was Right: Leading through fear is necessary.
• Machiavelli Was Wrong: Leading through fear is bad.
• Gentle Touch vs. Firm Hand: Lead with a balance of softness and strictness.

On Belief

• Belief Makes You Stupid: Beliefs and opinions based on blind faith (such as religion) instead of logical evidence cause you to think and act irrationally.
• God Is Good
• Hope Springs Eternal

On Caution and planning

• Live Dangerously and Throw Caution To The Wind.
• Look Before You Leap.
• He Who Hesitates Is Lost. Strike While The Iron is Hot.
• An Ounce of Prevention is Worth a Pound of Cure.
• Hoist by His Own Petard: The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men often go awry.
• Be very careful with tools designed to kill.

On Change, Progress, and Technology

• Good Old Ways: Change Is Bad.
• Ludd Was Right: Progress Is Bad.
• Evil Luddite: Opposing Progress Is Bad.
• Science Hero: Influencing Progress Is Good.

On Conformity, Individuality, and Tradition

• Be Yourself: Accept who you are.
• Blithe Spirit: Change tradition and convert everyone else to your views.
• The Complainer Is Always Wrong: You should always agree with your friends.
• Conform to Expectations, 'cause great-grandma knows best.
• Crying Wolf: If you lie about danger too often, no one will believe you when the day comes that you're being truthful about it.
• Peer Pressure Makes You Evil: Don't give into peer pressure.
• Pygmalion Snap Back: Accept people for who they are and let others be themselves.
• Tall Poppy Syndrome: The Nail That Stands Out Gets Hammered Flat.
• Trend Aesop: Giving into materialism, peer pressure, and/or the silly/fickle nature of fashion is more trouble than it is worth.

On Cruelty, Kindness, and Trust

• Power of Trust: Trust makes people stronger.
• Betrayal Tropes: Some people should not be trusted.
• Children Are Innocent
• Kids Are Cruel
• Androcles' Lion: Kindness is returned in kind.
• Laser-Guided Karma: Cruelty is returned in kind.
• Don't be All Take and No Give, because in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
• The Farmer and the Viper: Don't be kind to evil.
• Good Is Not Soft: Don't take kindness for weakness.
• Misery Builds Character: A little suffering is good for the soul.
• Enemies Equals Greatness: Having enemies is good for you.
• The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have done unto you.
• The best REAL magic is being kind and good to others!
• Too Smart for Strangers: Don't trust people you don't know, especially if you're a kid.
• No Good Deed Goes Unpunished: Being kind to others is no guarantee that you will be justly rewarded or even appreciated, you may end up royally screwed instead.

On Curiosity and Science

• Curiosity Killed the Cast: Curiosity killed the cat.
  • Curiosity Is a Crapshoot
  • Curiosity saved the cat.
• Keep an open mind and be willing to try new things (like Green Eggs and Ham) — maybe you'll like them!
• There are Things Man Was Not Meant to Know, and learning about them are bad for your sanity and happiness.
• Science Is Bad: Scientific and technological achievements are not always good for our world.
  • Science Is Wrong: Science doesn't offer any true answers.
  • Science Makes You Crazy: Studying science without any regard for morality makes you an Evil Mad Scientist.
  • Alternatively, Science Is Good! Every scientific discovery makes us less ignorant and can improve our world.
    • Science Hero: When science falls under the hands of good people, more awesome discoveries are made, and each discovery can be integrated within society for the better.

On Destiny

• Because Destiny Says So: Accept Your Destiny.
• Screw Destiny: Shape Your Own Destiny.
• There Are No Coincidences: Nothing Happens By Chance; Everything Is Destined.

On Differences

• Prejudice Aesop: Bigotry and discrimination are stupid and wrong. Treat others with equal dignity and respect.
  • Fantastic Racism: A lesson against real-life bigotry, but filtered through (not-so-)subtle allegories and metaphors.
  • Gay Aesop: Treat LGBT people with acceptance and tolerance.
• Handy Shortcoming
• Silly Reason for War: Your differences are minuscule. Just get along already!

On Effort

• If something is worth doing at all, it's worth doing well.
• Failing Is Better Than Doing Nothing
• Quality over Quantity: Few but high-quality trumps many but low-quality.
• Cheaters Never Prosper: People who cheat will ultimately face punishment for doing so.
• No Challenge Equals No Satisfaction: It's no fun winning unless you actually had to put in an effort.
• All the talent in the world won't mean anything if you don't hone it, unless you're Jimi Hendrix.

On Family

• Babies Make Everything Better: Having children can improve your relationship.
• Blood is Thicker Than Water: Your Relatives Are Your Best Friends.
• Children Raise You: Looking after a child can mature you.
• Family Is A Hindrance: Show The Other Generation What You're Really Worth.
• When You Coming Home, Dad?: it's important to build bonds and settle differences with ones family while one has the chance.

On Force

• Forgiveness: You should forgive those who wrong you. Unless you shouldn't.
  • Forgiven, but Not Forgotten: ...and even if you did, you should never forget what they've done.
• Might Makes Right: The strongest are the ones who decide what's okay.
  • Right Makes Might: Essentially, when things get bad, treating others with kindness and resect will lead to stronger bonds, as leading through fear will have them jump ship when the chance presents itself.
• Revenge Is Not Justice: Two wrongs don't make a right.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: Going over and beyond when it comes to punishing wrongdoers is never good.
  • He Who Fights Monsters: Getting revenge will corrupt you.
  • If You Kill Him, You Will Be Just Like Him!: It's bad to kill a bad person because then you'd be stooping to their level.
  • If You Taunt Him, You Will Be Just Like Him: It's bad to get back at a jerk because you'd be stooping to their level.
  • Vengeance Feels Empty: Getting revenge won't give you satisfaction you hoped for.
• Turn the Other Cheek: Break The Cycle of Revenge.
• Violence Really Is the Answer: Sometimes, people can't be reasoned with through discussion, and psychical force needs to be employed.
  • Violence is the Only Option: Being stronger and more aggressive is the only way to stop an aggressor.
• True strength is not about who can hit hardest.

On Friendship

• The Power of Friendship conquers all.
• False Friend: Well, maybe they weren't really your friends.
• Loners Are Freaks: If you don't have friends, there's something wrong with you.
• In the End, You Are on Your Own: However, even if you have friends they won't always be there, and there's some things you have to do yourself.
• Loony Friends Improve Your Personality: People who are extroverted to the point of being too much to handle can bring you out of your shell.
• Be a Friend to All Living Things
• Somebody Doesn't Love Raymond: Not everyone in the world has to like you, for a friend to all is a friend to none.
• Befriending the Enemy: Making friends with an enemy will cause them to change their ways.

On Health and Safety

• Anti-Alcohol Aesop: If you start drinking alcohol, it can have a negative impact on your life.
• Disease-Prevention Aesop: Practice proper hygiene and sanitation, so that you won't catch some nasty infections!
• Drugs Are Bad, mmmkay? If you start using recreational substances, it can ruin your life.
  • Or: Drugs Are Good! All of that anti-drug stuff is just propaganda. They really let you achieve Higher Understanding Through Drugs because... uh, reasons?
• Missed Meal Aesop: Don't skip a meal.
• Safe Driving Aesop: Be careful when you drive a vehicle, because it will literally mean the difference between life or death on the road.
• Self-Care Epiphany: Looking out for others is good and all, but remember to take care of yourself as well.
• Sleep Aesop: Get enough sleep!
• A Weighty Aesop: Junk food is bad for you. Eat healthier foods instead, like fruits and vegetables.

On Honesty

• Don't Be Completely Honest (The Truth Hurts, and Little White Lies Are Comforting And Convenient. And of course, you must protect your Secret Identity.)
  • They're Called "Personal Issues" for a Reason
• Honest Axe: Honesty Is The Best Policy (And Will Totally Get You The Infinity +1 Sword.)
• Honesty Aesop: Always tell the truth.

On Honor

• Honor Before Reason: The honorable thing to do isn't always the smart thing to do.
• Not Cheating Unless You Get Caught
• What You Are in the Dark matters.

On Immortality

• Living Forever is No Big Deal: Immortality is alright.
• Living Forever Is Awesome: Immortality rules!
• Who Wants to Live Forever?: Immortality sucks!

On Initiative

• Leeroy Jenkins: Fools rush in.
• Missed the Call: He who hesitates is lost.

On Intellectualism

• TV Genius, Book Dumb, Dumb Is Good, Brilliant, but Lazy: Studying Is Overrated.
• Awesome by Analysis: Knowledge is power.

On Intuition and first impressions

• Don't Think, Feel
• Subverted Suspicion Aesop: Always trust your first impressions.
• Suspicion Aesop: First Impressions Are Misleading. Sometimes things are More than Meets the Eye.

On Justice

• Freudian Excuse: Cut your Arch-Enemy some slack — he had a rough childhood.
• Freudian Excuse Is No Excuse: Suffering a traumatic past does not make it okay to do bad things to other people.
• As Long as There Is One Man...
  • Justice Will Prevail,
  • and Evil Will Fail, because Evil Cannot Comprehend Good.

On Kinship

• Blood Is Thicker Than Water
• Doesn't Trust Those Guys: Don't be racist; they can't all be that bad, despite their relatives all being evil.

On Literature

• Actions Speak Louder Than Words.
• The Pen is Mightier Than The Sword.
• In Defence Of Storytelling: Storytelling has inherent value.
• The Power of Language: Language and writing have power (or, sometimes, are powerless in the end).

On Love

• The Power of Love conquers all.
• Wrong Guy First: Be careful who you give your heart to.
• Love at First Sight: You'll just know when your true love shows up, what with the golden lights and floating hearts and all.
• Love at First Punch: You'll hate each other at first, though.
• Love Makes You Crazy
• Love Makes You Dumb: Love can override common sense.
• Love Makes You Evil: Love can bring out the worst in people.
• Love Redeems: Love can bring out the best in people.

On Material Possessions and Wealth

• Capitalism Is Bad
• All That Glitters is not gold.
• Grail in the Garbage
• One Man's Trash Is Another's Treasure: What one person sees as worthless, another may see as valuable.
• You can have all the Solid Gold Poop you want, it's worthless.
• Wanting Is Better Than Having: Getting what you desire can turn out to be worse than simply longing for it.
• The True Meaning of Christmas: It's better to give than to receive.
• You Get What You Pay For
• A Fool and His New Money Are Soon Parted
• A penny saved is a penny earned.

On Media and Entertainment

• Anti-Escapism Aesop: Reality is better than fiction.
• Digital Piracy Is Evil: It's wrong to download media without paying for it.
  • Digital Piracy Is Okay: It's perfectly okay to download media without paying for it.
• In Defence of Storytelling
• Old Media Are Evil
  • New Media Are Evil
  • Social Media Is Bad: It cannot substitute for genuine human relationships and can have bad effects if one obsesses over it.
• "Reading Is Cool" Aesop: Reading can be really fun and useful.
• Think of the Children!: You are responsible for the kids' well-being, not the media.

On the Natural World

• Green Aesop: Earth's natural environment is being threatened by the growth of human civilization, so let's try to protect and save it.
• Nature Is Not Nice: The natural wilderness is a harsh, hostile, and indifferent place where animals suffer and die. And humans are not safe from it either.
  • Naïve Animal Lover: Don't ever assume that wild animals are tame and friendly. Treat them with proper caution and respect, and keep your distance from them.

On Patience

• All Good Things Come To He Who Waits.
• Time and Tide Wait For No Man.

On Perseverance

• Determinator: Never give up.
• Evil Is Easy, but it takes true fortitude to do the right thing.
• Hope Springs Eternal
• Know When to Fold 'Em: Sometimes you have to give up.

On Positive and Negative attitude

• The Anti-Nihilist: Life sucks, but we can make it better.
• Determined Defeatist: You're bound to fail, but still try anyways.
• The Pollyanna: Keep a positive attitude in times of peril.
• Silly Rabbit, Cynicism Is for Losers!: Take off those Jade-Colored Glasses and don't be negative.
• Silly Rabbit, Idealism Is for Kids!: Being a Wide-Eyed Idealist is foolish.

On Power

• With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility: If you're gifted with a special ability or talent, or given a position of authority or influence, please act wisely and don't abuse your powers over other people.
  • With Great Power Comes Great Insanity: Because (more often than not), having absolute power may corrupt someone absolutely.

On Pride

• Don't play God; it never ends well.
• Pride comes before a fall.

On Principle

• You Have To Be Willing To Compromise
• Stick To Your Guns

On Relationships

• Birds of a Feather Flock Together.
  • ...Until The Cat Comes.
• Opposites Attract: A couple can fall in love even if they're completely different and have nothing alike.

On Sex

• But We Used a Condom!: "Condoms are effective, not perfect." Though this storyline is used so often, it ends up feeling more like "Condoms don't work at all, so don't even bother with them."
• Sex Equals Love (even when it's rape)
• Love Is Not Sex
• Can't Have Sex, Ever: Love is more important than sex.
• Virginity Makes You Stupid, Sex as Rite-of-Passage: You aren't an adult until you've had sex.

On Specialization

• Master of None: You can do everything, but you can't do everything THAT well if you can't be the Jack of All Trades.
• Crippling Overspecialization: You do one thing very well, but you can't do anything else straight.

On Spontaneity

• Don't Be Shy
• Don't Get In Over Your Head

On Teamwork

• Two heads are better than one. Many hands make light work.
• Too Many Cooks Spoil the Soup: A project can go awry if there are too many people involved in it.

On Time

• Have Fun Like You Were Dying
• Work Now To Enjoy A Great Future

On War

• War Is Hell: War is just cruel and terrible bloodshed. Can we please give peace a chance?
  • Armies Are Evil: Soldiers are weak-willed drones who exist only to kill and destroy.
• War Is Glorious: War is a heroic and patriotic adventure. Pacifism is for cowardly traitors!
  • Straw Civilian: Civilians are spineless cowards who have no sense of duty or responsibility.

On Women

• Treat Girls Nice
• Treat Girls The Same As Guys
• Showing Up Chauvinists: Women are at least as competent as men.
• You Go, Girl!: Women are just as good at sports as men.
• Women Are Wiser: Women have more common sense.

The Lessons of History

• A Lesson in Defeat: The greatest teacher, failure is.
• The Dinosaurs Had It Coming: Immoral behavior is what drives species extinct.
• History Repeats: Those who fail to remember history are doomed to repeat it.

Other Aesops

• Follow The Cardinal Virtues
• Follow the Seven Heavenly Virtues.
  • Avoid the Seven Deadly Sins.
• When Life Gives You Lemons..., make lemonade!
• Mistakes Are Not the End of the World
• Give a Man a Fish... and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
• Be careful where you get your power, your validation, and the justification for your actions.
• ...And the reason for all the contradictions is the Golden Mean: Nothing In Excess. Everything in moderation, including moderation.

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For every proverb, there is an equal and opposite proverb.