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Quotes / Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?

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    Anime and Manga 

Fritz: So you're still alive, little girl? I compliment you on your audaciousness! The name I have proudly carried since birth is Fritz Stanford! I am the acting captain of the glorious Aryan Socialist Union, and you, a nefarious grave robber! This is clearly the most fated of confrontations! For the sake of those who died for the Union-
Revy: (unloads her pistol)
Fritz: -you shall atone with your blood! BEHOLD! (cocks gold-plated pistol) Witness this mighty gun I wield! I call it the Eisenreich Luger Special! The barrel is the Luger Artillery Long and the frame is hardened carbon. Featuring-
Revy: (loads a new clip)
Fritz: -a thick grip and a two-bullet chamber, it truly is one of a kind. (finally points it at her) This weapon is far too destructive to simply be referred to as specialized in man-stopping! I-
Revy: (clearly bored out of her mind)
Fritz: -am the only one on Earth capable of taming this terrible gun! BWA HA HA HA!! Are you afraid?! There's no way you're not! Now witness the awesome power of this-
Revy: (blows him off his feet) Shut the fuck up. Didn't you see I wasn't even listening? I mean, were you trying to sell me the damn gun or what?
Fritz: You... fucking cowa-
Revy: Now it's my turn to talk. Here's some advice: if you can hit your target, pretty much any gun will do the trick. Now that's one to grow on. Say hi to the Fuehrer for me, would you?

Benmel: Gassman, Go out there and kill the one that's following the plane.
Gassman: Yes, but couldn't we capture him and turn him into a Meganoid to further our plan?
Benmel: What was that?! Go out there and kill him or I'll have you executed for treason!
— An Inversion from Daitarn 3

    Comic Books 

Why don't they [ever] kill him right away... Anyone gets the drop on this guy and doesn't just shoot him on the spot, they deserve whatever he does to them...
Lorraine, The Punisher MAX #44

Starline: B-But he's gone now! He can't get in the way of your plans!
Eggman: The hedgehog is mine to destroy! It's not the job of some upstart like you! I could carpet bomb him any day! That's not enough—that's not the point! I have to beat him! I have to prove I'm superior! There's a right way and a wrong way to vanquish your life-long enemy and you did it very, very wrong!
Starline: I'm sorry, sir!
Eggman: You should be! Don't let it happen again!


    Fan Works 
"I apologize for interrupting Miss Hansen's attempt to dispose of you," purred a voice from hidden sono-induction coils. "But my attractive protege is completely lacking in any sense of melodrama. It would be rude to destroy my enemies without revealing myself in all my majesty. The fact that you will be forced to undergo two terrifying demises is merely a fringe benefit."
Dr Zarkendorf, Plan 7 of 9 from Outer Space

“All I want to know is what this setup is all about,” said Supergirl. “If we’re going to be the main course for this vampire or whatever you’re going to be hosting, just call me curious.”
“Call you dead,” said the guy with the bucket, and drew a .38.
Vladislav slapped his hand, then slapped his face. “How many times do I got to tell you? How many times? How many?”
“No more, boss, no more,” pleaded the vamp. “I understand. I understand. I swear on my father’s coffin.”
The fangfather buried his hands in his underling’s turtleneck. “I don’t really have time for this aggravation, Lester. You got me?”
“Gotcha, boss.”
“I said we don’t shoot the women, and we don’t shoot the women. We need them for later. Got that?”
“Got it, boss.”
“Now get out of my sight.”

    Film - Live-Action 

Dr. Evil: Scott, I want you to meet daddy's nemesis, Austin Powers.
Scott Evil: What? Are you feeding him? Why don't you just kill him?
Dr. Evil: I have an even better idea. I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death.
Scott Evil: I have a gun, in my room. You give me five seconds, I'll get it, I'll come back down here. BOOM! I'll blow their brains out!
Dr. Evil: Scott... you just don't get it, do ya?
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

We both know I have to kill you now. You'll just have to imagine the fire.

Marco: Next time you have a chance to kill someone, don't hesitate!
McClane: (shoots and kills him) Thanks for the advice!

One-Armed Man: I've been looking for you for eight months. Whenever I should have had a gun in my right hand, I thought of you. Now I find you in exactly the position that suits me. I had lots of time to learn to shoot with my left.
(Tuco shoots him dead with the gun he has hidden in the bath foam)
Tuco: When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.

Steve: Why don't you just shoot him and fuck all this?
Bishop: Good judgment comes from experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Greedo (in Huttese): I've been looking forward to this for a long time.
Han: Yes, I'll bet you have. (blasts Greedo from under the table)

"Hey man, I know this is personal. That's why you'll fail. No speeches, no talking... you point the gun, you shoot the gun."
Ben Gaffney, Blue Ruin


This isn't the kind of man who ties you up in a cellar with just enough time for the mice to eat your ropes before the flood-waters rise. This is the kind of man who just kills you here and now.
Igneous Cutwell, Mort

Now, what shall we do with you, Mr. Bond? I can't let you live, that much is certain. I should probably just shoot you here and now and get it over with. I've always wondered why the bad guys never do that to the heroes in action movies. Instead, they have to use some elaborate method of torture or execution. The hero ultimately uses the delay to his advantage and escapes. So I should just shoot you now, right?
Guy Thackeray, Zero Minus Ten

“Juniper,” I murmured. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but he’s about a hundred and fifty yards away from our front?”
The Hellhound squinted, estimating the yards like I had a few moments ago.
“Give or take ten yards,” she assessed. “Why?”
“That’s effective killing range for our crossbows,” I pointed out.
The legate grunted. “And?”
“I was thinking,” I said patiently, “about shooting him.”
There was a moment of silence and everyone turned to stare at me. What? It was a perfectly reasonable plan.
“Can we… can we actually do that?” Hakram spoke, voice hesitant.

“Sixty-seven: putting an arrow in a villain during their monologue is a perfectly acceptable method of victory. Heroes believing otherwise do not get to retire.”
“Two Hundred Heroic Axioms,” author unknown, A Practical Guide To Evil

Chauvelin: Twelve picked men will be on the ramparts ready to seize him the moment he appears.
Collot d'Herbois: And to shoot him at sight, I hope.
Chauvelin: Only as a last resource, for the Englishman is powerful, and may cause our half-famished men a good deal of trouble. But I want him alive if possible...
d'Herbois: Why? A dead lion is safer than a live one any day.
Chauvelin: Oh! we'll kill him right enough, citizen. I pray you have no fear. I hold a weapon ready for that meddlesome Scarlet Pimpernel which will be a thousand times more deadly and more effectual than a chance shot, or even the guillotine.
d'Herbois: What weapon is that, Citizen Chauvelin?
Chauvelin: Dishonour and ridicule!
d'Herbois: Bah!
The Elusive Pimpernel, Chapter 24

Voldemort: Seize him! SEIZE HIM! *Quirrell tries to grab Harry, but is severely burned*
Quirrell: Master, I cannot hold him — my hands — my hands!
Voldemort: Then kill him, fool, and be done!

    Live-Action TV 

Giles: So Angel has decided to step up his harassment of you...
Cordelia: By sneaking into her room and leaving stuff at night? Why doesn't he just slit her throat or strangle her while she's sleeping or cut her heart out? (notices how everyone's looking at her) What, I'm trying to help.

The trouble with Daleks is it takes so long to say anything. Probably die of boredom before they shoot me.
The Doctor, Doctor Who, "The Time of the Doctor"

Bigwig: Look, I know it says he's weightless in the script but look what happens when I scratch out the word weightless. You see, he no longer becomes weightless. He just becomes.
Deluise: Okay fine, good, but how else does Colonel Danning get past the giant alien guard?
O'Neill: Why doesn't he just shoot him?
Bigwig: Who is this?
O'Neill: Colonel Jack O'Neill.
Martin: He's the new Air Force technical adviser. He doesn't know he's not supposed to say anything yet.
Bigwig: You're telling me an Air Force officer can shoot a giant alien without having to be weightless?
O'Neill: Sure, why not?
Bigwig: You know, I'd like to hear "sure, why not" a little more around here. Now the space ship in scene 53..

"Martok": What're they doing? Why doesn't Sisko just shoot him?!
Odo: I have a better question - why isn't Gowron letting his bodyguards kill Worf? I'll tell you why: Klingon honor, a concept you should be very familiar with. My people, on the other hand, don't care about honor. How did you put it - there will be no honorable combat, no challenges? Hardly the words of a Klingon. Tell me, "General" - did Gowron destroy the polaron emitters... or did you?

Turanj: I've become impatient. We penetrated this vessel, overcame their defenses, and in the moment of the kill, you forced us to stop. Now we play these incessant games. It's time we took our trophies and moved on.
Karr: Your lust for the kill has blinded you, like many young hunters. If you took the time to study your prey, to understand its behavior, you might learn something.
Turanj: There is nothing to be learned!
Star Trek: Voyager, "The Killing Game"

(the family watches a Western with a knock-out brawl)
Son: They know they have guns, right?
— A DVR commercial

    Video Games 

I'll take the stupid one who decided to threaten us rather than shoot us when he had the chance.

Always wondered why people never use their strongest attack first
Sans, after unleashing a powerful attack mid-monologue, Undertale



Your fat giant ninja probably could have killed me once every thirty seconds since he first saw me. I know that real honest-to-goodness knuckles to testicles action is important to you supervillain types, but come on, at some point you have to get practical. Get Tub Fist to kill me.

Lord Milligan: [after capturing the heroes] Now put them in an inescapable death trap.
Quantum Crook: Is this inescapable enough for you? [shoots Quantum Cop]
Lord Milligan: You lack style.

    Web Original 

So, let me see if I follow this "plan" so far... You captured Zero (aka Lelouch), but instead of killing him, you wiped his memory so that he couldn't become Zero again, but instead of them throwing him in jail, you released him back to the public, indefinitely, so that he could get smarter and better and beating you, all to bring him into contact with C2, the only person who could activate his Geass again, give him back his memories and allow him to become Zero again!
Phoenix of Animerica, on the first episode of the second season of Code Geass

Look, if you're going through this much trouble to the point of trying to kill them, just come at them with a gun! You're not exactly dealing with Mensa members here, especially since they're completely oblivious to the sounds of knives colliding with things and glass shattering!
Linkara on the murder attempts on the California Raisins

Freeza: I just love how easy it is to get away with this shit with you people! I want to transform, you just sit there and let me. I want to blow the planet up, you just sit there and let me! I want to reach one-hundred percent power and you just SIT RIGHT THERE AND LET ME!
Goku: ...So can I get a meat lover's-
Freeza: (socks Goku)

Freeza: Did... did nobody shoot her?
Lord Slug: Why didn't you?
Freeza: Because I have you fools!

Rule 4: Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
Rule 7: When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say "No," and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him and then say "No."

Dr. Wily: Look, we don't need eight, different, fun worlds, just have the robots all attack [Mega Man] at once.
Greg: In one level?
Dr. Wily: In his house, I don't care! Just kill him!

Both Eddie and Bev have similar incidents where the clown pops up and scares them, but again: why doesn't he just kill them?
The Nostalgia Critic, reviewing It

Seriously, what would it take to get these guys to shoot?
RiffTrax on the SWAT Team from The Dark Knight

[Anakin and Obi-Wan] start charging down the corridors, cleaving their way to the elevators, and eventually bumble directly into an ambush, where a half-dozen droids have them dead-to-rights at gunpoint. Incredibly, instead of shooting them dead where they stand, the droids stand there dumbly while the Jedi spin around and decapitate the lot of them. What the hell just happened? You're telling me that droids missed the opportunity to just waste them? I really can't take this. This is the fearsome threat that has the Republic on the defensive?
Spoony in his review of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith

Pat: I don't get it. You can just cut him - just cut him right now.
Mat: We know he cuts him!
Pat: Yeah, we saw it in the trailer.
Mat: He cuts him super dead.
Pat: So, like, why not just do it?
Mat: No, you gotta-
Pat: He wants to do it in a cool way.
Mat: You've gotta do it in an evil bad guy cool way.

Gespenst: All this just to kill one dude, man, criminals are inefficient.
Kouji Kabuto: Ah. What would ya do if you led the crooks?
Gespenst: Not release a bunch of snakes on a plane, that's for sure.
Sylvan: Like Titans' way of deal with rebels... oh!
Pluto: A crate full of bombs would be much more efficient than using snakes, for starters.
Sylvan: ...Still need to pass metal detector.
Pluto: True, but a box full of hissing snakes would be noticed very quickly in real life as well.
Gespenst: Why even try to take out the full plane? Why not just wait til he is on the ground then bomb him?
Pluto: Just trying to get into the character of a lunatic movie villain.
Gespenst: Oh ok, I was in the mind set of "ruthlessly, and intelligently, exterminate all obstacles and obtain victory."

The entire reason we’re screwing around gathering up these heroes is because they will somehow (?) help us stop Lucian. But here he is, a few feet away and flammable.
Shamus Young on Fable II

Superman: And you know what else? Turns out Luthor had this chunk of kryptonite that would have totally ruined me if he had just whipped it out.
Batman: Really.
Superman: Yeah, but for some reason, instead he just told me his evil plan first and tried to trick me into finding the kryptonite myself. What's up with that?
Batman: Villains are stupid.
Superman: I know, right?

Amanda Waller (referring to Harley Quinn): Kill her!
Soldier: It's not working! Her nanites' been disarmed!
Amanda Waller: What do you have, a water pistol?!

Catherine: I was thinking about shooting [the hero].
[everyone stares at Catherine]
Hakram: Can we... can we actually do that?

Now those of us familiar with Aphrodite through the golden apple, The Iliad, or just Greek mythology in general, know that she doesn't really handle people being prettier than her very well. But Aphrodite has just the plan to take Psyche down! She'll make her fall in love with a hideous monster.

...Aphrodite, you are a goddess! Why don't you just kill her?

    Western Animation 

Harley Quinn: Why don't ya just shoot him?
The Joker: "Just shoot him?!" Know this, my sweet: the death of Batman must be nothing less than a masterpiece! The triumph of my sheer comic genius over his ridiculous mask and gadgets!
(at the end of the episode, after Harley comes within an inch of killing Batman herself)
The Joker: I really have to apologize for the kid. No respect for tradition! Heh! Let's just pretend the whole thing never happened and do this some other time, 'kay? ...Then again, this is a rather rare opportunity. Y'know what they say, "a bat in the hand is worth two in the belfry." I guess you're going out on a laugh after all!

The Joker: You're not going to leave him like this, are you?
Lex Luthor: Why?
Joker: Hel-lo? He's still alive!
Luthor: And he's going to stay that way until I say we don't need him anymore.
Joker: Lex, Lex, take it from someone who knows: don't wait, do it now.
Luthor: You don't like my decisions? Leave.
Joker: (does so) And they say I'm crazy...
(the rest of Luthor's gang stares at him meaningfully)
Luthor: (eye twitching) ...What?! Those restraints are pure titanium. He'll never get loose.

    Real Life 

[The villain] has obtained a miniaturized robot so small it can float in the bloodstream and cause strokes and heart attacks. At one point in the movie, a man who will remain nameless is injected with one of these devices by a dart gun, and it kills him. All very well, but consider for a moment the problem of cost overruns in these times of economic uncertainty. A miniaturized assassination robot small enough to slip through the bloodstream would cost how much? Millions? And it is delivered by dart? How's this for an idea: use a poison dart, and spend the surplus on school lunches.

"Shoot Gandhi."
Adolf Hitler (asked how he thought the British should handle the situation in India)


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