The Main Cast in all of its chaotic, problematic glory. note
In the small New England coastal town of Hanesbury, strange things have been happening—people claiming to be haunted by ghosts, unexplained tremors beneath town, and a legend of an old hidden treasure being just a few instances. All of this utterly confuses self-described skeptic Carlton as he begins his job at Hanesbury’s local law firm.
Soon enough, however, Carlton’s natural curiosity leads him into encounters with some of Hanesbury’s strangest residents, including weapons expert and single mother Miriam Prior; superpowered twins Jack and Algy Graham; perky vampire Ginnie Kelly; taciturn telekinetic Orville; doctor-with-a-dark-secret Elliot Quaid; mad inventor Frank Epstein; and mysterious Girl Next Door Liza. Under the watchful eye of a member of the town’s wealthiest and most respected family, this Ragtag Bunch of Misfits unites to uncover and dispose of Hanesbury’s supernatural phenomena.
In spite of their general lack of experience in the realm of paranormal investigation (a fact that often leads to awkward and/or humorous situations), the members of "Heinous Investigations" find a way to make their business work, even with constant threats from Delia Smythe, a particularly unstable wannabe villainess from Carlton’s past.
Heinous Investigations heavily follows a Monster of the Week format, parodying everything spanning the realms of Sci-fi, Fantasy, and the Supernatural; it also features overarching secondary plots throughout each season. It is popular for its zany cast of characters and its LGBTQIA+ and Neurodiverse representation.
Heinous Investigations contains examples of:
- Abhorrent Admirer: Orville has one in the form of Lavinia Lavin, an extremely forward witch.
- Abnormal Allergy: Jack is allergic to orchids; the situation is made doubly strange by the fact that the ensuing allergic reaction causes him to lose control of his powers.
- Absent-Minded Professor: Franklin "Frankenstein" Epstein certainly counts.
- Acoustic License: As is common for an audiodrama; especially when it usually involves monster fights.
- Action Girl: Miriam. Specifically an Action Mom.
- Affably Evil: Lavinia, a southern belle who is fond of calling people "hun" and who will possess a child's body for the sake of increasing her own power.
- Air-Vent Passageway: Done by Jack in an attempt to escape mandatory team building and help investigate a mysterious pit.
- Appropriated Appellation: Frank is established to be known by locals as "Frankenstein" due to his status as a Mad Scientist; however, being Frank, he takes the nickname with pride, even explicitly stating that he prefers being called that over something more formal.
- Audible Sharpness: All of Miriam's bladed weapons, of which there are many.
- Bad Liar: A trait of the Epstein family. Benji can't help but blurt out the truth out of stress and Frank has no filter, bordering on Brutal Honesty.
- Badass Normal: Carlton, Miriam, Martin, and Frank do not have powers and abilities like the other Investigators, but make up for it with extreme skill in their respective fields.
- Bad Guy Bar: The "No Holds Bar" is one that serves the more rambunctious of Hanesbury's resident and roving monster population.
- Belligerent Sexual Tension: Carlton and Miriam, no matter how much they try to deny it.
- Berserk Button: The Investigators have many:
- Carlton's first name.
- Threatening Rachel is a sure fire way to get Miriam to commit acts of violence.
- On that note, if you dare to hurt Liza in front of Elliot, run.
- Calling Ginnie "some innocent girl" will get you punched through a window.
- Big Brother Instinct: Frank will spring into action at even the slightest insinuation that Benji is in danger.
- Big Damn Heroes: Essentially happens Once Per Story Arc.
- Big Eater: Algernon has a habit of eating everything in the Investigator's very well-stocked kitchen.
- Algy: I have a fast metabolism!
- Big Fancy House: Heinous Investigations' base of operations is Martin's exceedingly large family home.
- Breaking the Fourth Wall: Frank, as the Investigator's resident Meta Guy, does this quite a bit.
- Butt-Monkey: On the side of villainy, Nate always gets the short end of the stick. As for the Investigators themselves, argument could be made for Algernon, although he brings the majority of it on himself.
- Cast Full of Gay: Many of the Investigators are confirmed to be LGBTQIA+. Especially of note are Ginnie, who is openly attracted to both women and men, and Miriam, who has had a relationship with a man and is currently dating Dulcie.
- Casual Danger Dialogue: Carlton and Miriam do this, often with each other and especially when they have the upper hand in a fight.
- Claustrophobia: Jack is afraid of enclosed spaces, but will brave them when there are no other options. Including crossing through an air vent and facing off with an invisible man in a broom closet.
- Creepy Monotone: Orville speaks exclusively in this. But maybe don't call it "creepy" in front of him.
- Convenient Escape Boat: The Investigators catch one in the season 1 finale.
- Dark and Troubled Past: Carlton and Miriam have outlandishly bizarre pasts that are also very upsetting. Carlton was a child runaway and ward of a criminal organization; Miriam was raised in a cult that openly discriminated against her family for being racial minorities and shunned her because of her Teen Pregnancy.
- Orville's description of his family history and his My Parents Are Dead moment with Ginnie hints that he has some dark baggage as well.
- Deconstructive Parody: What this entire series aspires to be.
- Different for Girls: Jack has to deal with this in one arc as part of an elaborate scheme devised by Algy to get back at his ex. This is actually the least of their problems.
- Dragged by the Collar: Elliot tends to be on the receiving end of this, as much as one can be in an audio-exclusive medium.
- Drives Like Crazy: Frank, and it's not exclusive to cars.
- Early-Installment Weirdness: The first 6 episodes of the show are notably different in sound quality and editing. Some of the character voices, while still recognizable, are also different from the rest of the series.
- Eccentric Townsfolk: Hanesbury is full of them. Includes a Sheriff constantly on the verge of retirement; his hyperactive Deputy; the local Bartender who is kind, but not the sharpest; and a Fisherman who is the walking personification of New England. Not to mention Chester and his wife Paula, a well meaning, albeit unsettling, old couple.
- Education Through Pyrotechnics: Carlton believes in this, as evidenced by his setting Rachel's (a child) Junior Investigator obstacle course on fire.
- Embarrassing First Name: Carlton's first name is Beverly. Any jokes about it come not from the name itself, but from the fact that Carlton is embarrassed about having a "girl's name".
- Evil Is Hammy: Delia. Just Delia.
- Evil Sounds Deep: CR-3TR, a murderous android with a serious grudge against Frank.
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Delia and Nate are siblings, and for all of Delia's outright cruelty toward her brother, she still loves him. Probably. Meanwhile, Nate still cares enough for Delia and her safety to stand by her, even when he really knows he shouldn't.
- Foolish Sibling, Responsible Sibling: Algy is foolish, Jack is responsible.
- Everyone Can See It: A strange case in which there are multiple relationships where this occurs at the same time, with the only people not able to see it being the ones in the relationships themselves.
- Friendly Neighborhood Vampire: Ginnie, to the point where the town of Hanesbury doesn't even believe she is a vampire until shown definitive evidence. It helps that she drinks exclusively from prepared blood bags.
- Get A Hold Of Yourself Man: Done by Liza to Martin during the "Odd Couples" arc, followed by her requesting him to slap her back...and then immediately slapping him again when he reluctantly complies.
- Gibberish of Love: Elliot to Liza. He gets better.
- Combined with Sigh of Love: According to Ginnie, Elliot can't hear someone even mention Liza without "sighing like a lovesick idiot."
- The Glomp: Ginnie is a hugger, but being a vampire with Super-Strength, her hugs produce some...slightly worrying sound effects.
- Ghost Ship: Apparently there is one off the coast of Hanesbury somewhere.
- Groin Attack: An attack maneuver of choice for Miriam. Just ask Carlton.
- The Hero: Carlton is meant to be a parody of this, based on his "straight, white, able-bodied male" and Audience Surrogate status, as referenced by Frank in Episode 2.
- Home of Monsters: Dubbed "The Scary Sphere" by Frank.
- Hunting the Most Dangerous Game: The plot of the season 1 finale, right down to the title.
- Inevitable Waterfall: Crossed with No Escape but Down in the season 1 finale, much to Frank's delight, and Carlton's chagrin.
- It Runs on Nonsensoleum: When asked how the Cool Plane he just invented for the team works, Frank's response is "magnets".
- Frank: I just figured out a long time ago that instead of trying to explain the mechanical complexities of whatever I invent, it’s easier to say it’s all because of magnets. People understand magnets.
- Jekyll & Hyde: Elliot, as a consequence of being Born of Heaven and Hell, has a more prevalent "angelic" personality, but also a hedonistic, violent "demonic" one. Algy at one point refers to him as "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hellspawn."
- Karma Houdini: Invoked by Delia, who, being under the protection of sorcerous Circe, is able to attempt numerous villainous plots with little to no retribution.
- The Lancer: Miriam is this to Carlton, being the marginally more grounded of the two.
- Laughably Evil: The main villain trio of Delia, Nate, and Circe.
- Let's Just Be Friends: Orville and Ginnie have done this not once, but twice in the series so far, in spite of their obvious attraction to each other.
- Like Brother and Sister: Martin and Liza, who even have their own quirky traditions to back it up - anyone for Champagne and Lobsterfest?
- Love at First Sight: The minute Elliot first meets Liza, he goes straight to awkwardly gawking at her and spouting Gibberish of Love.
- Mad Scientist: Comes in the form of Frank Epstein, a Genre Savvy Cloudcuckoolander who is also the one responsible for all of Heinous Investigations' technology.
- Manchild: Oh look, Frank again. However, many of the other Investigators have childish traits, contributing to the team's overall sense of disfunction.
- Man on Fire: Dulcie, an associate of the Investigators, does this as part of an offensive maneuver in her introductory arc. Being essentially indestructible, it doesn't bother her much.
- Mature Younger Sibling: Benji is this for Frank, at least in terms of restraint.
- Missing Reflection: Like in most media, a trait of vampires in this series. Although probably not how you are thinking.
- Most Definitely Not Accompanying Us: A regular occurrence with "Junior Investigators" Rachel and Benji. It goes about as well as you'd expect.
- The Nicknamer: Carlton has a tendency to call the people in his life by anything other than their actual names. This includes calling Miriam by her surname "Prior", calling Rachel "half pint", and calling Frank "Frankenstein" more than any other member of the cast. He also calls Elliot "kid" in spite of Elliot being a good 1,000 years older than him.
- No Indoor Voice: Frank might as well be pictured speaking in all capitals.
- One Head Taller: Apparently Orville to Ginnie, if the latter's comments are anything to go by.
- Only Sane Man: An interesting case wherein multiple characters take turns in this role, depending on the situation.
- Chances are if Carlton is Not So Above It All at the time, Miriam will be more grounded, and vice versa.
- Martin, Liza, and Jack, while all capable of having their moments, can fit this role as well.
- "Open!" Says Me: Carlton has a strange obsession with kicking down perfectly openable doors. This is a trait that has spread to other Investigators as well, solely on the principle that they want to know just why the act is so appealing.
- Opening Narration: Carlton has one at the start of every story arc, done in the style of a Private Eye Monologue, sometimes played for laughs.
- Our Monsters Are Different: A staple of the show. Stories feature everything from ghostfish to a gnome-dwarf rivalry, massive tunneling worms, rich kid party vampires, southern belle witch cult leaders and much, much more.
- Overly Long Scream: How the Investigators often react in response to either a truly frightening threat, or Frank doing something almost as horrifying.
- Punched Across the Room: Drunken troll, meet Rachel's fist.
- Reality Warper: Rachel.
- Really 700 Years Old: Dr. Elliot Quaid, who is over a millennium old and possesses angelic and demonic powers, prefers to research various subjects and volunteer at the library.
- Redheaded Hero: Liza is mentioned to have red hair and is one of the most upstanding Investigators. Also, Miriam and Rachel are established in promotional art to have merlot-colored hair.
- Roaring Rampage of Revenge: A recurring theme with Heinous Investigations villains.
- Delia, after being defeated by the Investigators one time, and due to her baggage with Carlton, refuses to rest until they are destroyed, whatever it takes.
- CR-3TR, due to being unintentionally abandoned in the multiverse by Frank, will not rest until he and everyone he loves are destroyed.
- Running Gag
- Orville's Stealth Hi/Bye tendencies.
- Frank's...unusual naming conventions, for everything from his inventions to whole dimensions.
- "Shut up, Nate!" - shouted by Delia to her brother at least once per story arc.
- Savvy Guy, Energetic Girl: Orville and Ginnie, who bounce between this and Brooding Boy, Gentle Girl.
- Scatterbrained Senior: Chester Albertson, Hanesbury's local "superstitious old coot" who, while often aware of the town's unusual occurrences, has a very...odd approach to communicating the information, let alone trying to do something about it.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Algy's response when an investigation suddenly gets a little too out-of-hand.
- Shipper on Deck: Ginnie and Frank are big proponents of Elliot/Liza.
- Signature Sound Effect: Many Investigators have sound effects attributed to them and only them:
- Algy's "Thwip".
- Jack's Shapeshifting Sound.
- Orville's Telekinesis/Telepathy sound.
- Elliot's sound for when he goes full demon and back again.
- Rachel has a cute little chime for whenever she uses her reality-warping abilities.
- Smash Cut: Often invoked by Frank for various purposes; since Frank is the only one aware that the Investigators are part of a podcast, the others are often confused by this behavior.
- Snipe Hunt: Except in Hanesbury, they're real.
- The Speedster: Algernon.
- Algy: Hello there. ('thwip') Algernon Graham. (‘thwip’) Fastest Man Alive. (‘thwip’) How are you?
- Spicy Latina: Miriam is a more subdued example.
- Starter Villain Stays: Delia, and by extension Nate and Circe. Solely because of Delia's tendency to put Revenge Before Reason and her extreme Determinator status when it comes to destroying Carlton and Heinous Investigations in general.
- Strong Family Resemblance: Miriam and Rachel, as shown in promotional artwork.
- Super Smoke: An ability of vampires in this universe, Ginnie included. There comes a point where she encounters another person with the same ability, which leads to an awkward exchange regarding which smoke particles belong to whom.
- Super Zeroes: Most of the Investigators are gifted with powers that should make them formidable in their profession. Unfortunately, they are also incredibly dysfunctional.
- Supernatural Hotspot Town: Hanesbury, natch.
- Trust-Building Blunder: Locking random pairs of your extremely distrusting and emotional employees in a room together is already problematic Martin, but trusting the locks to Frank is a whole other level of blunder.
- Treasure Hunt Episode: The pilot arc that brings the Investigators together revolves around finding a highwayman's underground Treasure Room.
- Theme Twin Naming: Jack and Algy's parents are fans of Oscar Wilde.
- Threatening Shark: The "Hanesbury Landshark", one of many outlandish threats the Investigators face in their first adventure together. It's Exactly What It Says on the Tin.
- Twin Banter: Jack and Algy have a tendency to argue; when they really get going, it takes someone else calling them out to get them to stop.
- Vampires Are Rich: Subverted with Ginnie, who shows no indication of living a particularly wealthy lifestyle before joining Heinous Investigations. On the other hand, Vera Goring, Algy's ex, met the Grahams though business interactions between their two wealthy families.
- Wacky Sound Effect: In this show, there are many.
- How many rubber duck squeaks have you been able to find so far?
- We Used to Be Friends: Carlton, Delia, and Nate grew up together.
- Who You Gonna Call?: The entire purpose of Heinous Investigations. Yes, there have been many in-universe references to the Trope Namer.
- Would Hurt a Child: Since two of the series' central characters are children, this is a common characteristic among Heinous villains.
- Delia intends to destroy the whole of Heinous Investigations, Rachel and Benji included.
- The Atlantic Exterminator worm from the "Odd Couples" arc, who shows no discretion in where it strikes, eventually does so in the playground of Hanesbury Elementary School.
- Todd the corn demon tries to destroy all of Hanesbury, with Rachel and numerous other children still in it.
- Lavinia outright tries to murder and possess Rachel's body in order to become more powerful.
- CR-3TR attempts to kill Benji to get to Frank, and then swears that they'll have no problem doing it again.
- Zany Scheme: What the Investigators often resort to at some point during their cases.
- Carlton tries to lure ghosts out into the open sea with chocolate cake.
- Algernon has his own brother impersonate his (fictional) date to a fancy party in a bid to make his newly-engaged ex jealous.
- Ginnie's plan to catch an invisible man involves placing a bucket of paint on a door ledge and events escalating from there.
- Frank tries to face off with dangerous man-hunters by making an impromptu cannon out of a log, rocks, and "conveniently combustable materials".
